Date: Sat, 07 Oct 2000 09:15:19 EDT
From: Josh Aterovis <aterovis@hotmail.com>
Subject: Chapter 10 of Reap the Whirlwind

Hello all you happy people! At least i hope you are happy. Maybe you will be
now that chapter 10 is finally here. :o) Sorry for the delay. Had too much
going on. Hope you enjoy.

http://bleedinghearts.myfsb.com

Chapter 10

	My mind stalled. Caitlin and I both stared dumbly at the bearer of bad
news. Maybe I had heard wrong. "What did you say?" I asked.

	"He's dead. Some chick just found him at the bottom of the pool. She jumped
in and felt something around her ankles. She thought somebody was playing
some sort if sick joke at first, but when he didn't come up...Somebody else
jumped in and pulled him out but he was dead already. I think somebody
called the cops. This parties busted." As he said this last part he was
steadily backing away. With his last words, he spun around and joined the
steady stream of guests who were exiting the premises as quickly as they
could.

	I looked at Caitlin, "Do you think he's serious?" I asked her.

	"Listen," she said. I did and could hear sirens in the distance. I guess
that answered my question. "Come on, let's go!" she said grabbing my arm.

	"What? We can't just leave!" I protested but she was already dragging me
into the street.

	"Yes we can and yes we are. I don't want to be here when the cops arrive.
We were out here under the tree the whole time so its not like we have
anything to tell them. I've been through this before and trust me, it's not
fun and it takes forever."

	"You've been through this before?" I asked in alarm.

	"Well not this exact thing, but I was at a party where this guy turned up
dead in the river."

	"Does someone always end up dead in the water at parties you attend?"

	"No, just these two times. Where's your car?"

	"Around the corner, why?"

	"You're taking me home," she said. We ran to the car and pulled away just
as two patrol cars pulled up lights flashing with an ambulance not far
behind. My mind hadn't caught up with recent events but now suddenly the
full impact of what I had just heard hit me. He had said Joey was dead. But
that was impossible...I'd just seen him...he couldn't be dead. Maybe it was
some sort of sick joke or maybe he was wrong and it was really someone else.
Or maybe he wasn't dead, just really drunk. There was an ambulance so that
had to be a good sign, right? Do they send ambulances for dead people?

	"Where are you going?" Caitlin asked, startling me out of my thoughts. I
had forgotten she was even in the car.

	"Huh?"

	"Where are you going? You don't even know where I live. We're going the
wrong way."

	"Oh...I..." I gave up trying to form a coherent sentence and turned the car
around. I followed her directions to a small slightly run down apartment
complex near the college.

	"Thanks, Will," she said when I'd pulled to a stop in front of her
building, "You're a sweet guy. Stop blaming yourself for the loser that Joey
turned out to be. If it is him then he deserved whatever happened. I'll be
in touch." She leaned over and kissed me quickly on the cheek and then she
was gone.

	I drove slowly home in a sort of numb trance. Twice I missed a turn and had
to back up. When I finally got home Aidan was sitting up waiting. "Where
were you? I was worried," he said accusingly as he jumped to his feet.

	"I'm sorry," I said wearily.

	"Your note said you were going to take pictures, it's been dark for hours."

	"I'm sorry," I said again as I sank heavily into a chair.

	"I didn't know where you were, if you were ok...if you were even alive..."

	Something snapped inside me. "I said I'm sorry!" I screamed, "What more do
you want from me?"

	Aidan looked as if I had delivered him a physical blow, "Well excuse me for
giving a damn. I guess I should know better by now." He spun around and
started for his room.

	"Aidan wait!" I called. He stopped but kept his back to me. "I went to talk
to Joey. It...it didn't go well."

	He turned around.

	"He...he wanted me to..." I stopped and tried to swallow the bile that kept
rising in the back of my throat, "He wanted me...to...suck him. Then he...I
think he was going to rape me." I started crying but kept going; it was as
if the words wouldn't stop coming, "He pinned me against the wall and tried
to force himself on me. He hurt me, my arm...my lip..."

	All the color had drained from Aidan's face. "Oh my God," he whispered.

	"I hit him, pushed him away...then I ran."

	Aidan crossed the room and knelt down in front of me. "Are you ok?" he
asked gently tipping my face up so he could check for damage.

	"I think he's dead," I choked.

	Aidan's eyes flew open wide, "You killed him?"

	"No, at least I don't think so. He was alive when I left him. We were
talking when he died. Someone said they found him in the pool. I don't even
know what happened. We left before the police got there."

	"Who's we, Will?"

	"Me and Caitlin."

	"Caitlin?"

	"I met her tonight. She used to date Joey. He...hurt her." I don't know why
I didn't tell him about Caitlin's pregnancy; I just didn't feel it was the
right time.

	"Where is she now?"

	"I took her home."

	"Why did you leave before the police got there?"

	"Caitlin wanted to. She said we didn't want to be around because it was an
awful process that took a long time and we didn't have anything to add
anyway because we were in the front yard under the tree for the whole time."

	"Under the...? Never mind. How does she know it's an awful process?"

	"She was at party last year when they found a body in the river. Someone
had killed him and dumped him in the water. Do you think that's what
happened to Joey?"

	"I don't know what happened to Joey or even if anything did at this point.
For all we know it could have been some kind of sick prank. And that party
where the body was found in the river must have been the one that Killian
and Asher were at." He looked down at his watch and jumped up to turn on the
TV. The late news was just coming on.

	"Details are few at this time," the female news anchor was saying, " but we
have received confirmation that a college student died tonight at a party
held off campus. No word yet on the cause of death or whether it was
accidental or if foul play was involved. We'll keep you posted on
developments in this sad case as events unfold."

	She moved on to her next story, something about hog futures. Joey's death
was just another story unrolling on the teleprompter in front of her. I sat
stunned for a moment as Aidan snapped off the TV.

	"Have you ever wondered what they mean by hog futures?" I said finally.
"What kind of future does a hog have really? Ham or bacon? Sausage or
scrapple?"

	"Will, are you ok?" Aidan asked, quickly coming back to my side.

	"We don't know for sure it was Joey...she didn't say his name," I said
halfheartedly, like a child who believes that as long as you don't say it,
it isn't true. But I knew in my gut that it was true, that Joey was gone. It
was almost like a part of me was suddenly missing, leaving a gaping hole in
its place.

	"No, we don't know for sure," Aidan said softly, "You should go to bed.
It's late and you need to rest.

	I nodded, too far gone to argue. As I stood up I realized my arm was
throbbing from my tussle with Joey. I took a few Tylenol PM that I found in
the medicine cabinet then went into my room. I didn't turn any lights on; I
just stood in the darkness for a few minutes. Suddenly a feeling of
loneliness so powerful I almost cried out overwhelmed me. I turned and
crossed the hall to Aidan's door, where I knocked lightly.

	"Yeah?" he called warily.

	I opened the door, "Can I...can I sleep with you tonight?" I felt like I
sounded, like a small child at his parent's door after a nightmare.

	"What do you mean?" Aidan said cautiously.

	"Just...I'm afraid to be alone," I said shakily.

	He thought for a moment, then nodded slowly, "Ok."

	I closed the door behind me and undressed in the darkness. I crawled into
Aidan's bed, being careful to stay on my side. We lay in silence with our
backs to each other. I waited until I thought he had fallen asleep before
letting go. The tears came hot but silent at first and slowly built into
muffled sobs as I tried not to wake Aidan. I was surprised but very grateful
when I felt his strong arms circle around me. Once again I found myself
crying myself to sleep in his arms.

- - -

	I got up early the next morning after a fitful night's sleep. I wanted to
watch the early news to see if there was any mention of Joey. The College
Co-Ed Death, as they were now calling it, was the lead story.

	"As reported last night, a local college student died while attending an
off-campus party. Police have now released the name; Joseph Taylor was an
18-year old freshman. His friends describe him as a fun-loving young man
full of life. According to police reports, Taylor was found by another
student in a swimming pool owned by the family of college senior, David
Kemp. Kemp was hosting the party. Police say it's still too early to say
conclusively how Taylor died but that they do believe alcohol was a factor.

	"Is alcohol abuse on the rise on our local campuses? We go now to our..." I
turned off the TV, cutting the anchorperson off in mid-sentence. Well at
least now I knew for sure.

	"I'm sorry, Will," Aidan said softly from behind me. I hadn't even noticed
him there.

	The empty feeling from the night before was still there but now it had
eased into a dull ache. I didn't cry; I had done my mourning the night
before.

	"I...should call his mom or something..." I said.

	"Not now, there'll be too much going on. Later, after things have settled
down."

	I nodded.

	The phone rang and Aidan answered it, then handed me the phone.

	It was Caitlin.

	"Did you see the news?" she asked before I could say more than hello.

	"Yes...are you ok?"

	"I guess. It's not like I'm his chief mourner or anything. To me he was
just some bastard that knocked me up then dumped me. I was calling to check
on you. You were his friend."

	"I'm...ok. Well...no I'm not ok, but I'll survive."

	"Do you have someone with you?"

	"Yes, my roommate..." I paused, then revised myself, "my best friend Aidan
is here with me."

	Aidan looked up with a strange expression in his eyes, a mix of surprise
and some other emotion that I couldn't name. He looked back down quickly.

	"Good, I'm glad. I didn't want you to be alone."

	"Did you think about my offer?" I asked.

	Aidan looked up again, this time with curiosity flashing in his eyes.

	"Yes," Caitlin said, "but I'm still thinking. Don't rush me on this, Will.
It's an important decision; one that could affect the rest of my life."

	"It's not just your life at stake here," I responded quietly.

	"God! How do you keep doing that?" she said with exasperation. I didn't say
anything as she went on, "Look, I'll call you next week. I've got plenty of
time to decide. You can safely abort any time in the first trimester and
it's no big deal. I'm only about a month along as I figure it."

	"No big deal for you maybe."

	"Stop that!"

	"I'm just trying to make sure you see both sides. I'm trying to speak for
the one who has no voice."

	"You're just making this harder!" she sounded close to tears.

	"Good. A life and death decision shouldn't be easy."

	She sighed, "Good-bye, Will."

	"Bye, Caitlin. I'll talk to you next week."

	As soon as I hung up Aidan was all over me. "What was that all about?" he
demanded.

	"You shouldn't have been eavesdropping," I said defensively.

	"You saw me sitting right there. Besides, you just said I'm your best
friend. Best friends tell each other everything."

	I sighed, "Caitlin is pregnant and she's thinking about getting an
abortion."

	"And that concerns you how?"

	"The baby is Joey's."

	Aidan blinked in surprise then quickly recovered, "I repeat, and that
concerns you how?"

	"I feel responsible somehow. I know it's ridiculous," I rushed on to drown
out the protest that was already forming on Aidan's lips, "but I can't help
it. Besides, I really like Caitlin. She seems like a good person. I want to
help her." I paused for a moment, then said the next part super fast, "I
told her I'd help her raise the baby if she wouldn't have an abortion."

	"YOU WHAT?"

	"Shhhh!" I hushed him.

	"Don't you shush me! Have you lost your fucking mind? You don't know
anything about babies! You have no obligation to this person; you can not
get yourself involved."

	"I'm already involved. Look, Joey would have never gone on this...this...
whatever it was...this alcohol induced sex binge if it hadn't been for me.
Don't you see that? Now there is a little helpless life that is a part of
Joey. That baby didn't ask to be created. Why should it have to pay for my
mistake?"

	"Will, you've got to talk to Dr. Wohler again. This guilt trip you are on
is so not even valid it's not funny. You cannot be responsible for someone
else's actions. I had to realize that when you tried to kill yourself. At
first I blamed myself, but I had to realize that I didn't make you jump off
that fire escape - just like you didn't make Joey become a drunk. That was
his choice. You didn't make Joey have unprotected sex with Caitlin - that
was their decision. You are not responsible for any of this."

	"I've already given my word to Caitlin and I'm not breaking my promise."

	"You didn't have any problem breaking that when you took a flying leap off
the balcony!"

	I froze.

	"Will, I'm sorry..."

	"You said you forgave me for that."

	"Forgiven but not forgotten...remember?"

	"Well I'm not breaking it anymore."

	Aidan sighed. "You're serious about this aren't you? There's no changing
your mind."

	"Yes, I'm serious and no I'm not changing my mind."

	Another sigh, "Ok then, I'll support you in any way I can."

	"What?" His sudden about face caught me off-guard.

	"Hey, what are best friends for?" he said with just a hint of a smile.

	"Scratching backs?" I said hopefully.  The hint of a smile turned into a
full-fledged Aidan Special Grin, complete with dimples.

	"Coming right up!"

- - -

	I called Joey's mom that afternoon. She asked me to come over. I wasn't
something I was looking forward to but I knew it was something I had to do.
I drove over by myself, after convincing Aidan that I was fine going alone.

	She was seated on the couch when I got there, between two family members I
didn't know. For as close of friends as Joey and I had been I realized I
really didn't know any of his family. He never talked about them. I knew his
mom of course, and I knew his dad had run off when Joey was two or three,
but that was it. I was introduced as Joey's oldest and dearest friends. They
turned out to be Joey's aunts. The one on the left looked like a hungry
bulldog and the one on the right looked like a scared chicken. Joey's mom,
who I had always thought looked much too young to be a mother of someone
Joey's age, suddenly looked old. I thought it might be because she wasn't
wearing any make-up. She looked vulnerable without it. I felt very
uncomfortable.

	Mrs. Taylor grabbed my hand and held onto it like it was a lifeline and she
was drowning. Which maybe in a way she was.

	"When they called me last night...I just couldn't believe it," she said,
her eyes filling with unshed tears. They were red and swollen as if she'd
been crying a lot. "I kept saying that they must be wrong; that it couldn't
be my Joey. But then I had to go identify him. They called him 'the body.'
'Come identify the body,' they said. I said, he's not just a body, he's my
son." She almost seemed to be talking to herself. "It was Joey..." She broke
off in a muffled sob but choked it down and continued, "Thank you for being
such a good friend to my Joey." She dissolved in sobs, still clutching my
hand while I shifted uncomfortably wishing I were anywhere but here.

	I stayed for what I thought was a decent amount of time and then made my
excuses and headed for the door.

	"Will?" Mrs. Taylor called just before I escaped, "You weren't at that
party last night were you?"

	I felt my heart drop. "Well, actually I was, Mrs. Taylor, but just for a
few minutes. I didn't stay."

	She seemed surprised. "Then I think the police are looking for you."

	"Wha?" I gasped.

	"They described you and asked if I knew anyone who fit that description. I
told them you did but they said you weren't on the list of people present
when they arrived. Several people said they saw someone fitting your
description go upstairs with Joey and come back down in a rush. They said
you might be the last person who saw him alive."

	"I...I left before...he was alive when I left..." I stammered.

	She nodded as if it was what she had expected to hear. "I told them you
were a good boy. Tell me, Will, how was he?"

	What could I say? "Honestly, Mrs. Taylor...he wasn't very good. He was
drunk. He wasn't himself."

	She started to cry again.

	"I'm so sorry," I said helplessly, "I'm going to miss him very much."

	I turned to leave once more but she called out again. "Was he wearing his
necklace?"

	I knew immediately which necklace she meant. I had never seen Joey without
it. It was a silver chain with a small oval depicting a saint of some sort
hanging from it. It had been the only thing left behind of his father's, who
had been a devout Catholic. Joey cherished more than any other possession he
owned. As far as know the only time Joey had ever been inside a church was
when he was baptized as an infant, but he never took that necklace off. I
tried to remember if I had seen the necklace or not. It was so much a part
of him I just took it for granted that he had been wearing it, but now I
tried to recall if I had actually seen it or not. I mentally walked though
the painful encounter with Joey until I found what I was looking for.

	"Yes, he was," I said, 'Why?"

	"It wasn't on him when they found him. I would have liked to have had it."

	I finally managed to slip out of the oppressive home which already felt
empty without Joey, leaving his mother to her grief. I drove home slowly
while silent tears left their tracks on my cheeks.