Date: Thu, 7 Dec 2000 14:26:26 EST
From: Aterovis@hotmail.com
Subject: Chapter 15 of Reap the Whirlwind

Welcome to Chapter 15. You've made it this far...don't give up now! I have
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http://bleedinghearts.nav.to

Chapter 15

	The next morning I awoke to the sound of pounding coming from the
front door. I stumbled out of my room and into the hall where I met a
sleepy Aidan looking as startled as I felt.

	"Who would be knocking on our door at 6 AM?" he asked accusingly,
as if it was somehow my fault.

	"Knocking? I think it would be more accurately described as
banging...no pounding, or maybe beating..." I grumbled as I padded off down
the hall barefoot. To my surprise and embarrassment, since I was still in
nothing but my boxers that I was sleeping in, I found Nikki on the other
side of the door.  She looked disgustingly chipper for that ungodly
hour. She swept by waving something in her hand.

	"Oh, good!" she said when she spied Aidan blinking in confusion at
finding her in our apartment with no apparent emergency, "you're up, too!
Great! Come on out."

	"I wasn't up until someone woke me out of a very nice dream," he
said acidly.

	Nikki narrowed her eyes at me, "You woke Aidan up?"

	I sighed and decided it was too early to even attempt to answer
that. I tried to focus my sleep-clouded eyes on the object she was still
waving around. It looked like a rolled newspaper or maybe a magazine. "I'm
going to go put some clothes on," I said.

	"Take a look at this first," she said, and then to Aidan, "And
while you're up you look too. The reviews are in!" She tossed the bundle
onto the table with a flourish. The newspaper unrolled sending a magazine
sliding off the table where it landed at my feet.

	"We need a new paperboy," Aidan said as he came over to the table.

	I snatched the magazine up. It was the Mid-Atlantic Monthly Art
Journal. The glossy cover featured an idyllic scene of a lighthouse.

	"Turn to page 48," Nikki ordered me as she began flipping through
the newspaper.

	I did as she had said and scanned the text for my name. It jumped
out at me from the second column under the heading New Talent. I began to
read out loud.

	"'Promising New Artist Debuts in Maryland,'" I read, "'Avant Guard,
the internationally renown art gallery that was founded by Giovanni Avanti
and is now managed by his sole heirs, Derrick and Nikolia Avanti, recently
played host to a delightful new artist by the name of Will Keegan.' That's
me!"

	"Duh! Keep reading," Aidan said.

	"'Keegan, only 18 and still very obviously in the early stages of
his career, shows great promise for the art world. His watercolor paintings
are reminiscent of Andrew Wyeth, though without much of the soul and depth
that is so evident in Wyeth's work.' I'm soulless?" I asked with a frown.

	"It comes with age and experience. Keep reading," Nikki said.

	"'Still, over all, the twenty painting on display were an
impressive first showing for a talented and charming young man.' I'm
charming?"

	"Keep reading!" Nikki and Aidan said in unison.

	"Geez! 'With his candid and unique views of the world around him,
Keegan is a welcome addition to the art community. Look for great things to
come from this artist's brush.'"

	"Is that it?" Aidan asked. I was beginning to think he wasn't a
morning person.

	"It? That's wonderful!" Nikki crowed, "They gave you a glowing
review! And they mentioned the gallery. We couldn't have bought that kind
of publicity."

	"They said I was soulless," I whined.

	"Who cares? It's a critic; they have to say things like that. Look,
your picture is in the paper."

	Aidan and I both bent over the table to see where her finger was
pointing and bonked heads in the process. Rubbing our heads we moved in
more carefully a second time. Sure enough, there I was, in all my flashy
leather glory with Caitlin hanging on my arm looking for all the world like
a Hollywood starlet. Aidan looked at it for a moment then walked away and
turned on the TV. I decided not to let his attitude ruin this moment for
me. I read the short article that accompanied the photo but it didn't
really say anything; it was just a blurb in the Lifestyle section, but it
was still exciting. I couldn't help but be a little disappointed that Aidan
wasn't sharing this moment with me.

	Just then Aidan called my name. I could tell right away that
something was wrong by his tone of voice. I spun around to find him leaning
forward tensely, staring at the TV.  The early morning news was on and the
anchorwoman was speaking earnestly into the camera.

	"This is the second death to rock the campus in less than a month,"
she was saying, "The last death, that of college freshman Joseph Taylor,
was ruled an alcohol related accident by the police. At this point,
Hammond's death is tentatively being called a suicide. In other news..."

	Aidan clicked the TV off using the remote control.

	"Hammond?" I asked.

	"Blake," Aidan said grimly.

	"Suicide?"

	"That's what they said."

	"Did you know her?" Nikki asked.

	"Sort of," I said. I didn't offer to explain and for once she
didn't pry.

	"Well, I'd better get back to the apartment. I left Sam asleep in
bed. I don't want him to wake up and find me missing. Take the day off and
celebrate the good reviews." She waggled her fingers in our direction and
let herself out.

	"Sure, she let him sleep," Aidan said as he pushed himself up off
the sofa, "I'm going back to bed."

	"Aren't you even the slightest bit happy for me?" I asked, for the
moment forgetting about the news of Blake's death.

	He sighed, "Oh yeah, I'm thrilled for you and your fianc."

	"My what? What are you talking about?"

	"Read the caption," he said and disappeared down the hall.

	"What caption?" I called, but his door had closed, cutting off any
further attempt on my part to find out what was eating him.

	I bent over the newspaper article again and found the caption under
the photo of Caitlin and I. I had missed it earlier in my rush to read the
article. "Keegan and fianc, Caitlin Stewart talk to Mr. & Mrs. Edward
Curran of Baltimore," it read. It was so ridiculous I almost laughed out
loud. But obviously Aidan hadn't found it so amusing. I hurried down the
hall to his room and knocked. No answer, so I pushed it open. He was lying
on the bed with his back towards me, on top off the blankets.

	"Aidan, you don't actually think Caitlin and I are getting married
do you?"

	"Why not?" he said without moving, "You're raising the baby, the
other night you called yourself a first time father, you're always talking
about Caitlin this and Caitlin that...why not get married? You're so
obsessed with this baby that I think you'd do whatever you had to do to
make sure you're a part of its life."

	I stared at him in slack-jawed amazement. Where was all this coming
from? "I...I thought you supported me."

	"I tried, Will. I really did. It's just..." He sounded like he was
crying. Suddenly things fell into place.

	"You're jealous of Caitlin and the baby," I said aloud as the
realization jolted through my brain.

	"Of course I'm jealous, you idiot!" he yelled as he rolled over to
face me. "I'm in love with you! Can't you see that?"

	"I...you're...wha?"

	"I told you that night we made love. I told you I loved you. That
wasn't just pillow talk. I meant it." He stood up and walked to the
window. "I've done everything I can think of, tried every way I could think
of to show you that I loved you. I was always there when you needed someone
to talk to or a shoulder to cry on because Joey had hurt you in some way. I
was there when Joey died. I was there when you decided to go ahead with
this crazy idea to raise Joey's baby. I was there when you came up with
this even crazier idea to catch Joey's killer. I'm always there. And what
have I accomplished? Nothing. I'm still just good ol' buddy Aidan."

	He stopped and took a shaky breath and turned to face me. I was
speechless. "And you know what?" he went on after a moment, "I'd do it all
again; I'd have my heart broken again, because I love you. But just
once...I'd like...no I need - I need to know it matters. That I'm not just
pissing in the wind here."

	He collapsed onto the edge of the bed and buried his face in his
hands. I walked over to him and knelt down in front of him. I reached up
and gently took his hands in mine.

	"It does matter," I said softly. "Aidan, I'm so, so very sorry. I
don't know what I would do without you. I'd be dead if it wasn't for
you. I...I've taken you for granted and I'm sorry. You always seem so
strong, always the rock I lean on, and it just never even occurred to me
that maybe you needed someone to lean on too. I owe you so much; I owe you
my life. You're my best friend."

	"But you don't love me." It was a statement, not a question, but I
answered it anyway.

	"I...I don't know..."

	Aidan pulled his hands from mine. "Then that says everything
doesn't it?"

	"Aidan..."

	"Save it Will," he said without anger, just resignation. "I'll be
ok. I always am." He walked out of the room and into the bathroom, shutting
the door behind him. It wasn't long before I heard the shower come on.

	I sat down wearily on the edge of the bed, where Aidan had been
moments before. I had taken Aidan for granted, that was very clear now. I
was so busy chasing after Joey, and then memories of Joey that I had never
taken the time to see what was happening right under my nose. How many
times had I thoughtlessly slipped a knife into Aidan's heart and not even
noticed? I didn't even want to think about it; too many by far.

	And now...was it too late? I still wasn't sure how I felt about
him, but I knew I had grown to love him very deeply. I had just taken it
for granted that he'd be there when I got home. I'd taken it for granted
that he'd be there when I needed a pair of strong arms to comfort and hold
me while I cried. I'd taken it for granted that he'd always be there to
support and encourage me with no support and encouragement from me. I'd
taken so much for granted. Had I lost him now because of my neglect? The
very thought filled me with such a sense of loss and grief that it felt as
if my heart would explode.

	I was still sitting on the bed when Aidan came back in, water
dripping from his hair and a towel gripped around his waist. He seemed
surprised to find me still in his room.

	I looked up at him and suddenly felt the tears that had been
threatening spill over and roll down my cheeks. "I do love you," I
whispered.

	Aidan squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, and then opened them
again. The pain in his eyes was so raw, so naked, that it almost took my
breath away.

	"Not again, Will," he plead hoarsely, "Don't do this to me again."

	"Do what?"

	"Don't make me open up my heart like this only to have it slammed
in my face. I can't keep doing this."

	"I won't...I...I love you."

	Tears streamed down his face and he didn't even bother to wipe
them. "No, it'll always be something; Joey, Caitlin, the baby. They'll
always come first."

	"No!" I cried, desperate to make him understand what I suddenly
knew with all my heart, "Listen to me. Maybe I'll always love Joey, some
part of me. And yes, I have made a commitment to Caitlin and this baby, but
now I want to make a commitment to you."

	"And what if Joey walked through the door right now and said he
loved you?" Anguish filled his voice, making it sound foreign, as if it
didn't really belong to him.

	"Joey's dead," I sobbed.

	"WHAT IF?" he screamed. Then he began to sob too, "What if?"

	I cried for a moment, then managed to find my voice enough to say,
"If Joey was here right now I'd tell him...I'd tell him that...that it's
too late now. I'd tell him that I gave him my heart once, totally and
completely. And he took it and smashed it to a thousand pieces. But someone
else came along, and they started piecing all the little parts back
together. And even when it seemed like the pieces would never fit together
and that some pieces must have been lost forever, they didn't give up. And
when it was as good as it would ever be, they gave it back to me, even
though they longed to keep it. And then, when I got it back, I realized
that it really did belong to that person after all and I very much wanted
them to have it. Will you take it back, Aidan? Can I give you my heart?"

	He stood deathly still for an eternity. Not a muscle twitched; he
looked as if he had been turned into a statue. Then slowly his lips began
to move, although no sound escaped them. Then finally, "Do you mean that?"

	I held my hand out to him and nodded, "I love you, Aidan."

	He took a hesitant step forward, then another. I reached my arms
around his waist and pulled him close, resting my face against his
stomach. I slowly ran my hands up his back and then back down again. I
kissed his chest and then his belly. He let out a low whimper as I loosened
the towel and it fell to the floor. Then I slowly lay back, pulling him
down with me.

	The first time hadn't been a fluke...the fire works were still
there.

 - - -

	I awoke a few hours later, his arms around me, my legs tangled with
his. There were no misgivings this time; only a sense that everything was
just as it was supposed to be. I inhaled deeply, savoring the sweet, musky
scent that was left from our lovemaking. I twisted around so I could see
his face. My stirring woke him and his eyes fluttered open. I smiled and
kissed him softly on the lips.

	"It wasn't a dream," he whispered in an awed voice.

	"No, it's for real," I said softly, "I love you, Aidan Scott."

	A patented Aidan original grin spread slowly across his face and I
realized how long it had been since I'd seen one. "And I love you, Will
Keegan."

	We kissed again, this time neither of us was in any hurry to end
it. We were working our way towards another fireworks display when the
phone started ringing.

	"Mmm...let it ring," Aidan said.

	"It might be important," I said. I never could ignore a ringing
phone.

	"Then they'll call back," his lips started down my neck and I
forgot what I was arguing about.

	The ringing stopped only to start again a few seconds later. I sat
up. "It must be important."

	Aidan sighed. "Fine, but I'll answer you. You don't move." He stood
up, then bent over me for one more quick kiss before running off to find
the phone.

	Aidan walked back in while he talked on the phone. I took the
opportunity to drink him in. His body was so perfect it was almost too
beautiful. He looked like Michelangelo's David come to life. His gently
curling dark blonde hair framed a chiseled face and those beautiful,
intensely green eyes. Under them was straight, even nose that led directly
to those full, incredibly kissable lips. His chest and arms were muscled
without being huge and his stomach was hard and smooth. He obviously found
time to work out and I wondered when. It made me realize how little I
really knew about the man I had been living with for the past several
months. I was ashamed of the way I had treated the one person who had loved
me through the hardest times of my life.

	Aidan held out the phone, interrupting my visual inventory of his
physical attributes. I hadn't been paying attention to his side of the
conversation so I really had no idea who he was talking to or what it was
about. Aidan read the confusion on my face.

	"It's Laura," he said, "She just heard about Blake."

	I took the phone. "Hello?"

	"Will?" Laura said, "What's going on? I didn't think you were ever
going to answer. I called your work and Nikki said you had the day off. You
weren't still asleep were you?"

	"No, we weren't asleep," I said carefully.

	"Well anyway, Aidan said you'd heard about Blake."

	"Just what they said in the news this morning, that she'd committed
suicide."

	"You don't think that's just a tad too convenient?"

	"Huh?"

	"Didn't you see the whole report?"

	"No and I've had other things on my mind. Why?"

	She sighed. "They found her late last night in the river in the
park. They think she jumped off the bridge. How much do you want to bet she
bumped her head on the way down?"

	"I'm not following," I said, feeling stupid.

	"I'm saying that maybe someone killed her to keep her from talking
to us, or to anyone for that matter. Do you know how hard it would be to
kill yourself in that river? You'd have to be really determined."

	"But she didn't know anything."

	"Maybe she did and she was just too scared to talk, or maybe the
killer couldn't risk the chance that she knew something."

	"You're assuming the killer knew we were going to talk to Blake
again, or even that we ever talked in the first place."

	"It's not like it's a big jump, Will," she said, "We've not been
exactly secretive. Half the campus knows we've been asking questions about
Joey's death."

	"How did they know Blake saw anything?"

	"We figured it out, it wouldn't be hard for someone else to figure
it out too."

	"Why do they think it was a suicide?"

	"Because there was a note left in her car."

	"Then why are we having this conversation?"

	"Because there's no proof that Blake really wrote that note or even
if she did that someone didn't make her."

	"You're going overboard with this whole junior detective thing,
Laura. This is all pretty farfetched."

	"Will, think about it. If you were going to commit suicide would
you jump in the river at the park? You can practically wade across. And
besides, the water is disgusting, full of pollution and geese poop."

	"We both know what my preferred method of suicide is," I said
sharply, "And let me tell you, you're not thinking clearly when you do
something like that. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience."

	That stopped her for a second, but nothing ever stops Laura for
long. "Look, at least help me search her room."

	"What? Are you crazy? Who do you think you are, Nancy Drew? We're
not the Hardy Boys. We don't know anything about breaking and entering."

	"Will! You are the one who started this and for Joey's sake we're
going to finish it. Why are you suddenly acting like this? Besides, who
said anything about breaking and entering? Blake lived on campus and she
had a roommate. At worst we'll be entering, no breaking involved."

	"And then what? What are we looking for?"

	"We searched Joey's room, it'll be like that. We're looking for
anything out of the ordinary."

	"It was different with Joey. I knew him. I knew what was out of
place in his room. I never even met Blake."

	"William Spencer Keegan!" Uh oh, she was pulling out the full name,
I was in trouble.

	"Ok, ok," I said quickly, "Tomorrow after I get off..."

	"No, it has to be today, before they pack up her stuff. How soon
can you meet me at the dorms?"

	"I don't even know where the dorms are."

	"I do," said Aidan. He'd been lying next to me the whole time,
lazily trailing his fingers across my chest.

	I sighed. It was obvious the water was moving too fast for me to
swim upstream, I might as well go with the flow. If Aidan was offering to
go with me there was no point in arguing.

	"Give us a couple hours," I said.

	"Great," I could hear the triumph in her voice. "I'll see you
then. Oh, and Will...are you and Aidan...?"

	She left the question unasked but I knew what she was after. With a
malicious smile playing on my lips I said, "Bye Laura," and hit the end
button disconnecting the line. Revenge was sweet and I knew the best
torture for Laura was unsatisfied curiosity.

	I dropped the phone off the side of the bed and turned towards
Aidan. His arms wrapped around me.

	"A couple hours, huh? That should be enough time. Shall we pick up
where we left off?"

	He didn't have to ask twice.