Date: Sun, 4 Dec 2016 18:02:43 +0200
From: Charley Reed <alongweekend@gmail.com>
Subject: Reed em and weep - Ch 7; 14 March 2008

Fri 14 March 2008

# of Days since Previous Sexual Encounter: 1

# of Days since Previous Sexual Encounter with Another Person who exists
outside My Imagination: 6782


So it seems the internet can tell you anything. It says I was born on a
Wednesday and at this time I have lived 6782 days; that's 18 years and
change with about five months till 19. Without putting too fine a point on
it, that seems far too long to not be fucking other people with some
semblance of regularity, myself excluded; and far too long to have not yet
had relations with someone at some point in my lifetime. At this point I'm
wondering whether I could make money as the poster boy for Virgin
Atlantic. I'll be a laughing stock, but at least I'll get free flights to
not join the Mile High Club on. Sad to think that the only time anyone else
has ever shaken my moneymaker was to circumcise the damn thing way back
when.

Neat segue – our group of post-football showerers (still a low five from
twelve playing; not nearly enough wanking material for my liking) seems to
have a 60:40 split in favour of circumcision with three of us presumably
having had our winkies butchered against our wills as babies. I'm not sure
how representative these numbers are given our small sample size, but I
will make a point of looking even more from now on. Anyway, Colin, Danny
and I have been done; Paolo and Russell have not. I am thinking more now
that Colin might well be gay – I noticed him glancing furtively at Danny
while they showered yesterday, and he also gave me the once-over, although
I was sitting in my towel since I bailed early to avoid the rush and was
eager to not yet put my amateur topiary skills on display. Nevertheless, I
wonder if I'm Colin's type? He seems like a nice guy, seven out of ten
looks-wise and not in bad shape at all, and unless he is like the world's
biggest grower I don't think he would do too much damage to my servants'
entrance. Honestly, I could quite easily do worse...

...but probably not in Chem. I'm pretty sure I saw my arse in a mirror with
today's test. All multiple choice questions, but so few of the answers I
worked out were in the options to choose from, so clearly there was some
fuckery afoot somewhere. Hopefully they will look at my workings and give
me some marks for what I've done, although logic dictates that if the
workings were correct the answer I got would have been one of the sodding
options on the page. I aced Chem at high school, and I had no idea I wasn't
getting the hang of it here; unlike Maths which I was pretty certain I was
lost in from like Day 2. Ironically, Grant who usually sits behind me was
most aggrieved he couldn't see my answers over my shoulder – no random
seat allocations this time; not sure why – because he was hoping to
cheat off me and doesn't believe me that I think I bombed out completely.

Things are pretty tense at home. Last night the `rentals weren't even
talking when I got there and that didn't change by the time I headed off to
bed. I assumed Mandy had pissed them off – she can be divisive and
manipulative, that one – but she was still at school at drama practice
and hadn't been home yet. I wonder what is going on. They argue like an old
married couple, the folks, but then again it's because they kinda are. This
weirdness of the last few weeks is more than a little odd. I wonder if
they're still having sex; or perhaps a lack of desire on someone's part is
causing all this. Eeeuw, now that I think about it – do I really want to
know that my folks are still getting their legs over?

Odd. I will do some detectivating at some point. After quickly getting all
that sodding Chem figured out. I do hope this doesn't fuck up my DP too
much.

-C