Date: Fri, 27 Jan 2017 14:36:42 +0200
From: Charley Reed <alongweekend@gmail.com>
Subject: Reed 'em and Weep - Ch 9: 21 March 2008

Wednesday 19 March 2008

Today in history: Big day for shitstorms, it seems, with the 26th
anniversary of the start of the Falklands War and the 5th anniversary of
Bush Jr's declaration of war on Saddam all happening today. Also on this
day, in 2002, crazy old Comrade Bob managed to get our northern neighbour
Zim booted out of the Commonwealth. It's people like him who make the case
for the non-existence, and/or against the omnipotence, of G_d. I mean, one
loony, syphilitic octogenarian like Bob shouldn't really be able to wreak
as much havoc as he seems to without someone up top getting a touch pissy
about it all and seriously fucking his shit up for him to prove who's
boss. So one wonders then why He hasn't.

Did some shopping last night and might be sporting a single pair of red
boxerbriefs myself as I type this, imitation being the sincerest form of
flattery (stalkery?) and all. However, I couldn't quite bring myself to buy
the cheap nasty ones I'm pretty sure MM had on, from that low-cost giant Mr
Value who everyone except me seems to love shopping at, so I got mine from
Woolworths. A bit of internet research seems to indicate that US Woolworths
is very different to ours in that ours is quite upmarket and theirs
isn't. I don't usually get my stuff from there, since it's aimed way too
old/dull/conservative usually, but their socks and jocks are good quality
stuff if you aren't looking for brands since they don't carry branded gear,
and my preferred brand for jeans n jocks, Soviet, didn't have anything in
red when I looked last night.

These ones are not the eco-friendly ones from the organic cotton range at
Woolies, simply because I refuse to wear anything with the word Organic
printed on the waistband in a shitty, faux-handwriting font. J3sus, organic
underwear? Is this really what we're coming to? My undies are nasty,
maltreated, battery cotton, just like the stuff from the cheap and nasty
megastore mentioned above. But much better quality because they're from
Woolies. So I'm an elitist – sue me.

I do wonder how the low-cost giant does as well as it does, you know. Down
at the gym and all over campus you see these guys wearing hideously
overpriced Puma trackies or Guess jeans and Nike shoes and Oakley sunnies
with el cheapo Mr V undies on. Surely you make sure that the stuff which
you dress The Twins in is good quality? I don't get that at all. Everyone
here in .za is so brand-conscious and yet everyone has tons of cheap, nasty
shit in their cupboards from these guys. One of the guys in PhysEd last
year had some of their shoes to train in which lasted like 3 months at a
time, max. He bragged that they cost less than ¼ of my New Balances and
he could easily afford to replace them when they fucked out. I've had those
Newbs for 2 years now and they are easily going to manage another two, and
they aren't fucking up my spine and hips when I run in them. Who's laughing
now? Twat.

This is actually bugging me, now that I think about it. For fuck's sake,
MM, get some decent G_ddamn underpants! I wonder how weird it would be if I
bought a decent pair and slipped them into his bag? Actually, don't answer
that. Too weird, right, especially if I got spotted – try to explain
that away. Either way, I wouldn't wear a pair of boxers or anything which I
found lying around which I knew weren't mine, so why would he? And he'd
probably think they were just picked up off the floor somewhere, come to
think of it. I mean, it's amazing how many people seem to forget theirs and
leave them lying around at the gym, all sweaty and stretched and holey and
horrible with skidmarks in. Probably because they're all too fucking lame,
trying to hide under their towels to change after showering and all, to
remember to pick up their kit. Wankers.

-C