Date: Wed, 8 Feb 2017 07:52:29 +0200
From: Charley Reed <alongweekend@gmail.com>
Subject: Reed 'em and Weep - ch 11: 24 March 2008

Monday 24 March 2008

Song of the day: Hey There, Delilah – The Plain White Ts. Okay, so local
radio is KILLING this song almost a year after it came and went in like
everywhere else. Welcome to the slow, backward, arse-end of the world,
where they'd stick the hose if the planet needed an enema.

Worst. Weekend. Ever. Firstly, my back is still in its poes, so I spent the
last 60 hours or so stretched out and moaning every time I had to do
anything. I have a physio appointment booked for lunchtime here at the
university Sports Injuries Clinic. Not sure this is a sports injury, but
they have on-site physiotherapists and they're cheap for students, so what
could possibly go wrong? As it is, I about killed my already mortally
wounded back beyond all reasonable death by having a dig under my bed
Saturday morning trying to find my er... stash of printed visiosexual (it
is a word if I say it is) stimulatory material. Not sure why I bothered,
since as predicted on Friday I couldn't even find a position which was
suitable to allow for a nice and measured build-up to the point of stress
release, but I had the blue balls by late Friday night so I thought I'd
have a bash at um... having a bash. Boy, am I regretting it.

Anyway, not entirely sure what to tell whichever physio gets me; honesty
being the best policy is all well and good, but do I really want "injury
further aggravated while patient attempted to locate masturbatory
accessories" written on a file somewhere where someone might read it? The
whole episode was weird in and of itself, since I'm sure after the last
time I, um... exercised, I put my sleeve of pics back in its usual hiding
place, but it seems I'd put it into another box entirely. I'm getting a bit
alzheimery, it seems; worrying at just 18.

Secondly, things have been upped by a few notches of weirdness at home
which didn't help things. The `rentals are clearly not speaking; even Mandy
has pulled her ditzy high-school-girl head out of her arse for long enough
and stopped planning next month's 17th Birthday Spectacular to realise
something is amiss. I'll admit for the first time I am genuinely worried
about what might happen to our little family. Dad and I were watching
Liverpool get raped in the football yesterday afternoon; Mom was out and
Mandy was... I don't know, doing whatever it is nearly-17 year old girls do
(I'd like to think she was having a lady-wank, but I doubt it. Eeuuw,
though – even considering it is like eleven different kinds of wrong).
At half-time, Dad kinda looked at me lying there on the couch and said
something like "I guess I'll be able to do a lot of that sometime soon,
lying around waiting for something nice to happen." I don't think he was
having a snipe about my doing nothing since he knows I've done my back in,
but if not then it certainly was a hidden message of some sort. As it was,
as soon as Mom got home, Dad decided to go do... something, anything, out
of the lounge and away from my mother, even though he and I were really
enjoying the game together. We. Ird. I wonder if one of them is sleeping
around or something. Clearly they are massively disinterested in one
another at the moment.

Apparently I was missed during the series of traditional piss-ups over the
weekend. It's nice to fit in. I can tell this is bugging Kim big time
because she was quite the business back at HS and yet here I am, the living
breathing epitome of
not-hugely-popular-but-definitely-more-popular-than-her at varsity. And,
quite frankly, it is pretty obvious that I am clearly The Guy and everyone
else is really just being polite when they include her in discussions.
Basically, she's kinda become my consort, a Camilla to my Charles. Perhaps
my mom was right and I really am a catch.

In which case, MM can cast his rod and tackle in my direction any time...

-C

Author's note: thanks for the kind messages over the last few weeks; glad
it seems like most of you are enjoying reading the diary entries!