Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2001 01:12:24 EDT
From: WhtWindWIf@aol.com
Subject: Relationships And Memories (Part 4)

RELATIONSHIPS AND MEMORIES (Part 4)

	As it says above, this is part 4.  By reading part 1, 2, 3
you will understand the story.  So if you didn't read them, you
should. Only than can grasp the story.  But that's only my
opinion, not that many value it.  And thanks to everybody who
sent me feedback.  I love you, man!

	This is a work of entire fiction, and most of it I make up
on the spot.  I have no idea what he's going to do next.  But
anyway, if you're under 21, or this stuff isn't legal where you
live then get-along little doggy this isn't for your virgin
eyes.  This is about sex between consenting males (yes, it's in
the story somewhere), if you do not like reading about that then
I suggest you learn how to find your way around the internet.
And that's all I have to say about that.

	I was in a daze.  Being half drunk dulled the pain in my
heart, and calmed the turmoil in my head.  Without even thinking
I was certain I was walking in the right direction.  I've walked
there many times.  But that was during the day, never at night.
I passed by a few unfamiliar faces on sidewalk.  It was obvious
they could tell I had been drinking.  Not that I cared.  At
least not anymore.  Central Park was getting closer and closer.
I stood just outside of the park looking in.  Although my
judgement would be impaired, I still wasn't sure if I should
enter.  I took a deep breath and found myself in darkness.
	If felt like a graveyard.  I could hear the wind rustle
through the trees but nothing more.
	"How long would it take, and how long will I walk," I
quietly said aloud.  I looked around and there wasn't a soul in
sight.  I decided to sit on the bench and perhaps something will
find me, instead of me trying to find it.
	"What are you looking for," a low voice spoke slowly from
behind.  I began to turn around.  "Don't turn around," the voice
snapped.
	"Something.  I- I don't know."
"I know what you want."  I didn't say anything but stared
forward.  The man came around to the front of me.  He was
wearing dark blue jeans and a black shirt with would show off
his pectoral muscles.  They weren't overly huge, but the shirt
improved the size they would normally look.  A baseball cap
covered his face so I couldn't see his eyes.  I have to admit
that I was feeling a bit anxious and excited.  I've never done
this before and was unsure of what to expect.  "Get behind the
hedges," he commanded.  I did as he instructed, and I heard his
zipper coming undone.  I stood behind the hedge and looked
around to see if anyone was coming.
	I had a sudden moment of clarity, and the idea that I
shouldn't be here.  Before I could move two hands had grasped my
jeans and roughly pulled them down along with my boxers.
I tried to speak, "No, I can't do this."  I tried to turn
around to face him.  The man didn't listen as he continued to
pull the jeans down to my ankles.  "Stop, stop it-" I began to
yell.  The mysterious character came back up and put his hand
over my mouth.
	"Shut it, now."  His other hand moved to my waist.  "You
asked for it, and now you'll get it."  He was stronger than I
had thought by just looking at him.  But his left hand was at
exactly the right place for him to make my upper body lean
forward.  I resisted.
	"NO," I screamed and with all my force pushed myself back
upwards.  This caused my head to collide with his face.  The man
fell over onto the ground and his baseball cap a few yards away.
This man was not a man at all.  He was mere teenager.  I was at
a loss for words and apparently so was he.  He scrambled away
and I stared is disbelief.  I suddenly remembered the position
my pants were.  As I began to drag them back up my legs, I saw
my erection.  I was understandably confused.  It could have been
the alcohol in my body; it was definitely not my teenager
attempted-rapist.  The real source of my excitement was the
mixture of emotions.  I was angry with Justin leaving, taking it
out on Beverly, in despair about Justin dying on me, and
everybody in my life affecting me in some way.  Why couldn't
things just stay the way they were?  I feel to the ground on my
knees.  My hand went directly to my cock.  Without thinking I
furiously moved it up and down.  All the emotions in my body
coming to a boil and coming out through my actions.  I could not
control anything I did at this point.  My mind was pulled in
different directions, and was not aware of anything going on
outside of this little world.  Time had passed without me
noticing it.  There was obviously pleasure coursing through my
body and of course I enjoyed it.  Suddenly I hit the breaking
point and I sped up my movements.  As I could feel the semen
rising up I turned to one side.  I was still conscious about
getting anything on myself.  I groaned aloud as I felt the
release.  The first spurt shot clear into the hedge.  The second
one following but falling short.  Another one and yet another
one directly after that landing closer to me.  My hand kept
moving but gradually stroking slower and slower.  A few more
spurts came forth until I was spent.  My hand stopped and I lied
there silent.
	For a short while I felt at peace with the world.
Unfortunately, this would not last.  I sat up and pulled my
jeans and boxers back up so I could appear decent.  I thought
about what I had just done.  Was I that desperate for relief?
Couldn't I have done this anywhere else?  These were the first
questions to fill my mind.  Did anyone hear me?  Did anyone see
me?  Can I hide?  The second set of questions was concerned with
being discovered and these were fear-filled questions.  I did
not have time to process them as I remembered Justin.  Or rather
Justin's letter.  I stood up but I could not cry.  I didn't want
to cry this would not solve anything.  I only had these thoughts
because they take precedence over everything else.  I slowly
walked back to the apartment.
	I stood at the entrance but did not enter.  I thought what
I should say to Steven.  Should I talk at all?  I came to the
conclusion that Steven would have to say something first so I
could accurately decide what to say.  As I entered I could see
Steven sitting in the couch with his head resting on his hand.
He didn't move as I took a few steps forward.  I closed the door
and I saw Stevens hand slip and His head fell forward.  He woke
up.  The first few seconds he was disoriented and then he looked
at me.
	"Jason!"  He ran up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.
"I've been worried sick!"  I almost giggled thinking that's what
my mother used to say.  This was not the time to laugh.  At this
point I still did not know what to say.  He hugged me.  "I'm
just glad your safe."  He was comforting me.
	"Thanks," I felt I bit uncomfortable with him hugging me.
Although I usually liked being hugged I didn't feel like it at this
moment.  Steven could feel me trying to free myself so he let go.
"I just want to-," I stopped unsure of what I wanted.  I wasn't tired.
I stood there for a moment without speaking.  I was headed for my
but I changed directions.  "I just need a drink."  I walked into the
kitchen and Steven followed me.  I poured myself a glass of
orange juice and Steven just stared at me.  As soon as I
swallowed I curiously asked, "What?"
	Steven continued to look at me, "Jason..." He couldn't find
the words.  "You've been drinking haven't you?"
	"What of it?"
He looked down disappointed, "I'm not mad at you, but your
not telling me something."  Walking closer to me he looked up
again.  "Tell me."  My mind clicked.  Those words.  Those exact
same words were used my Justin.  Now one might say that is was a
coincidence and anybody could have said it.  But it's not just
the words themselves; it was the way he said it.  I could've
sworn it sounded just like Justin.  I stared deeply into
Steven's eyes.  He looked back but only in a concerned friend
way.  My stare was more of a surprise and perplexed gaze.  My
eyes moved off to the side and I saw the counter glittering.  I
could see my reflection.
	"Did you clean," I asked breaking the silence.  Steven
sighed.  He knew I was trying to get off the subject.  He also
knew that he couldn't try to switch back to the original
subject.  He never could.  Steven had tried many times to twist
conversations to go the way he wanted it to.  But I was very
talented in that area.  I notice little details in everyday life
that people overlook.  This is just the way my mind works.
Steven smiled admitting defeat," Yeah, when you... I mean, I
decided to... I thought it needed cleaning."  Steven was having
trouble speaking.  He couldn't formulate sentences in a gentle
way.
	I looked around and nodded my head," It looks nice.  You're
a great guy."  I hugged him from behind putting my arms over his
shoulders and locking them in front of his chest.  I always
loved to kid him like this.
	"Aw, cut it out, Jas."  He wrestled free.  "All right, I'm
going to bed.  You going to be fine?"
	"Yeah, don't worry about me, I'm going to watch TV."
Steven wasn't trying to imply anything about my feelings about
today, but it was secretly hidden in his words.  It was a
sentence that could be taken in a few different ways.  I did my
best to pretend I didn't notice.
Steven closed the door to his room softly and I turned on
the TV.  Before the picture faded on to the screen I held down
the volume button.  I always did this ever since I lived with my
parents.  I could've sworn they were going deaf, they always had
the television on so loud.  I would sneak downstairs and turn it
on and it would wake them up.  So I learned to adjust it before
it made any sounds.  The picture came into focus.  It lit up the
room slightly.  I began to sit back when I noticed the letter
sitting on the ground.  I picked it up.

We have sent a copy of Justin's will to his lawyer who will
contact you as soon as he's in town.


I stopped reading again.  Justin's will?  I'm in Justin's
will?  And his lawyer?  Justin never had a lawyer as long as I
knew him.  Of course I have no idea what had happened after he
left.  Many years had passed, why should I be in his will?  I
sat back in the couch and put the letter on the table.  I stared
at the TV but I didn't watch the program.

As I woke up I saw an infomercial about George Foreman's
newest grilling machine sensation.  I groaned and turned off the
TV, before I even found out I hadn't slept in my bed.  As soon
as my bearings were straight I wondered how I could have fallen
asleep after my ordeal.  As I looked at the clock I noticed it
was already past ten o'clock.  I went to Steven's room to wake
him.  He never likes to sleep past 10:30, not that he be aloud
to.  He always has something going on before than.  I knocked on
his door but there was no answer.
	"Yo Steven, you awake, bud," I called out. There wasn't an
answer.  I opened the door and realized he wasn't in there.
It's unusual that he would already be up without myself waking
him up, and besides his alarm wakes me up before he gets up.  As
I began to walk through the hallway the door opens and Steven
stands there with a big white paper bag.
	He stood there with a big smile," Breakfast is ready."
	"This is a surprise.  What ever compelled you to go out and
get breakfast?" I followed him into the kitchen.  "Smells good,
what is it?"
	"Well, let's see," he looked in the bag.  "I got some
bacon, pancakes, a small container of scrambled eggs, and your
favorite: sausage!  Oh, and freshly squeezed orange juice."  He
pulled out a plastic cup of orange juice.
	I smiled at him," You are full of surprises.  Surprises I'd
like to see more often."
	"Hey, can't I guy do this every once in a while."
	"Seems like once in a blue moon- I mean thanks."  We both
ate pretty much in silence.  But it wasn't uncommon; Steven was
reading the comics while I read living section.
The phone disturbed our little meal.
	"Don't worry I'll get it," Steven already stood up from the
table.  I had no intention of getting up he was closer to the
phone than I.  Steven walked back to the table with cordless
phone in hand.  "It's for you."
	"Hello," I said with a curious tone.  I had no idea who
would want to call me at this hour.  I certainly didn't expect
what I heard next.

	OK, that's part 4.  It took longer than expected.  And why
do I always stop the story at this point?  I try to make it
sound suspenseful but you know what's going to happen next.  Oh
well, nevermind that now.
	Sorry I lied.  There was no sex, I'm not apologizing for
having no sex; you already made that abundantly clear.  I'm
apologizing for lying.  Like I said, I write this stuff on the
spot, so sex will come out when it makes it's presence when it
feels like it.  Part 5 will come along shortly.  With guest
appearance: Marcus is back!  And some other guy, you don't need
to worry about.         Contact me at WhtWindWif@aol.com