Date: Wed, 19 Sep 2001 05:22:15 EDT
From: WhtWindWIf@aol.com
Subject: Relationships & Memories (part 9)

RELATIONSHIPS & MEMORIES (Part 9)

	Welcome to part 9 of our thrilling story. I know you want me to
skip the formalities and get straight to the story. Well scroll down if
you're so eager. Now to the rest of you, you must read chapters 1-8 to
understand where Jason is coming from, so if you just randomly pick
chapters to read, go back and read them all. It's worth it.
	If you are over 18 and can't keep your hand out of your pants, you
may continue, but if you're under 18 you should be in your high school
English class, so get out of here. If reading stories of homosexual nature
is against your laws, or these stories are not up your alley, you better be
careful when clicking that mouse of yours. And now we return to the story
already in progress.

	I leaned in keeping my hand on top of his. I wanted to close my
eyes, but I needed to see Marcus's reaction. In the short span of time, I
knew I should've asked him if he was gay. I couldn't bring myself to do it,
and I just decided to be more forward. My lips were mere inches away from
his. Suddenly I noticed the space between us had grown. Marcus pulled his
head away from me and looked shocked. I moved back quickly and retracted my
hand. Marcus was speechless and I was almost to the point of crying.

Holding back the tears I spoke, "I'm sorry. I . . . " I couldn't
continue. I opened the door and ran away from the car. I wasn't even sure
where I was running but I couldn't go back to face Marcus.

It was only half an hour before I decided to walk to my car; I knew Marcus
would no longer be around. I had hoped he wouldn't. Although it was dark, I
didn't any sign of him. Even though I felt relieved he wasn't around, there
was still a part of me that wished he was still here.  Just as I was about
to unlock the door I decided I didn't feel like driving away just yet. I
sat on the hood of the car thinking about everything that's happened, and
thinking of what might happen.

"Will Marcus ever see me again? Can I speak to him to try and fix what I
have undoubtedly screwed up?" I could feel the tears that beginning to form
in my eyes and I tried my best to hold them back. "DAMN!" I screamed. It
was all I could do. It was the only thing that stopped my sobbing and the
only thing my mind could think of to do.

"Jason," a voice softly spoke behind me. My ears betrayed me; it didn't
sound like Marcus, but somehow I knew that it was. I didn't turn around.  I
was too afraid. I brought a hand up to my face. I could feel the tears that
remained. Eventually, I turned around and saw darkness.  I could see an
outline of someone standing in the shadows. The figure didn't move as I
peered through the shroud of night that concealed him.

"Why are you here," I asked after a long pause, and I wasn't sure I'd get a
response.

The person sighed, "I had to . . . " The person had stopped
talking. Instead, I could hear footsteps as he walked forward. Marcus
looked at me as the light from a street lamp illuminated his face. "I'm
sorry." I was confused. Why was Marcus sorry? He hadn't done anything
wrong.  "You might have gotten the wrong idea."

Sighing I looked away, "Yeah, I noticed. I understand now."

"No, you don't," I heard Marcus walk up to me. As I turned to look at him
he gently kissed me on the lips. I was about to speak when he stopped
me. "You got the wrong idea when I pulled my head away in the car. It was
just a shock to me, I hadn't expected it." I didn't speak. I was still
caught up in a mixture of emotions. He had kissed me. Marcus had kissed
me. It was unfortunate that I wasn't prepared and didn't have time to
luxuriate in the feel. "You could've asked me, Jason."

I felt I need to say something, "I tried, believe me I tried and I came so
close. My nerves gave out when I needed to say it."

"But you had enough courage to lean over to kiss me?" Marcus had a point. I
felt my lips.  Very warm, and perhaps they were warmer than usual. "It was
my turn."

"So what does it mean," I asked, "your kiss." Was Marcus just returning
what I had tried to give him? Or was it more?

Marcus walked closer to me, "A better question is: what does it mean to
you?" There was only one thing I could say. It was the only thing that
remained.

"I love you." I can't say it shocked Marcus. It didn't. Marcus had already
assessed the situation after I ran away from him earlier. He knew what was
coming; he was ready. I realized that I was ready without knowing it. I had
told him that I loved him. It's odd how much truth can be held in three
simple words. Marcus didn't need to respond verbally. He walked up to me
gently brought his hand to my cheek and kissed me again. This time I milked
it for all it was worth. I'm usually surprised when a person's tongue first
enters my mouth, but his felt so natural and it didn't feel like it was
invading in any sense. I felt a hand around my waist pulling me closer and
instinctively my hand encircled Marcus. His other hand, which had rested on
my cheek, moved down to my hip. I had never felt so much from a kiss. I
could say that it was something more, but I can't be sure. All I knew was
that I no longer needed to imagine or dream.  My prayers and wishes had
come true. It was a powerful kiss and a loving embrace and nothing but he
and I existed.

And that's where you came in. How I got to be in this relationship. It was
that one kiss.  The song tells you a kiss is just a kiss. That's not always
true. A kiss is a wild card. It can be deceitful, meaningful, powerful, a
sense of being powerless, draining, invigorating, and a million other
things. It can be all those feelings at once.  Feelings are the driving
force behind everything we do. It's why we dare to lean forward to initiate
that kiss, and we reveal who we really are.  I'm not here to tell you what
to do. Not to tell you what a kiss should be. That's entirely up to you,
it's whatever you want it to be. A kiss could simply be a kiss, but Jason
knows better.

You think it's over don't you? You don't get off that easily. I still have
something left up my sleeve. You just wait and find out, don't expect too
much now, just a little something special for all of you. But while I'm
busy I leave you to ponder on my last few thoughts about a kiss and
feelings. If it's all bullshit to you, that's fine, that's your opinion. I
just ask that you give it thought. If you simply must tell me what you
think, than write to me.  Write to me at WhtWindWif@aol.com And stay tuned
for my last entry on this story.  But I'd like to take this space to thank
every one of you who wrote in to tell me they liked my story. From my first
letter to my latest one. Some people wrote detailed letters that loved my
story, and others wrote 5 words that loved the story. But I cherished them
same. You gave me encouragement to continue. Of course, this won't be my
final story. It was my first attempt at submitting something, and we all
have to start somewhere. Whether you decided to respond or not the
issue. It's how it's made you feel.  I realize I'm speaking about abstract
concepts and many might find this complete gibberish. All I really want to
say is thank you.