Date: Sat, 20 Mar 2004 23:00:20 -0800 (PST)
From: Takky Takky <turnleftturnrightgoforward@yahoo.com>
Subject: Riding with LOVE

Beginning

I'm an ugly short 14 year old freshmen that no one wanted to date.  Being
in this world alone, constantly feeling lonely, SUCKS!!  My one wish is to
find true love, doesn't matter what gender.  Love is love, you can't
control how you feel towards another person.  Everyday at school was hell
because it seems like everyone had a girlfriend or boyfriend and me, NOT
WANTED!!  I just wanted to die.  How can I live without someone to hold, to
care for, to kiss, to love...

My only hope that kept me alive is that one day my one wish will come true
and I would be the happiest person in the world.  I held onto that hope
tightly, but as the days went on and month seems like years, my grip began
to loosen.  Now 15 but still a lonely ugly kid.  What is even worse is I
started to have pimples.  It keeps on coming, as it disappear another
appeared, there goes my self confident down the drain.  Like there was any
to begin with.  I'm so close to the edge.

Many times I cried in my dark room alone.  Asking why me?  Why do I have to
be ugly?  Why can't I find love?  I went online asking for help on a
message board, she wrote "theres more to life than just emotional things"
That really hit me hard.  Here I am worrying about not having a girlfriend
or boyfriend.  I should be living my life and enjoying the time that I
spend with my friends and not drown myself in self pity.  When the time
comes it will come and I will take it!

With this new outlook on life, I was actually happy and content with my
life.  I did pretty well in school, As and Bs, so I decided to be a
psychiatrist or a biologist make alot of money and travel around the world.
That was my dream.  From that point on I was living for my dream.  I
studied hard and partied hard.  My acne was no longer a problem.  During my
junior and senior year I got a 4.3 gpa!  I was still dateless but it didn't
bother me because I hanging a blast with my friends going out, partying and
the school functions.  Plus I didn't have a crush on anyone anyways.  I
lived my for my dream.  Theres more to life than just emotional things.

Now 18 a freshmen at UC Davis living in a dorm.  I remembered the first day
I moved in, my family all came to help me load things into my room.  I was
on the 2nd floor, not that much walking :).  I was there before my roommate
was, so I started to unpack my belonging and hang my clothes.  I looked
at the clock and an hour just had passed.  My roommate is taking forever.
I wanted to see him and befriend him.  15 minutes later, my side of the
room was finished.  I felt kinda bad just choosing without asking which
side he wanted.

After packing we went to eat at the cafeteria.  I bid my family farewell
and headed to my room.  I was thinking he should be here by now, and to my
surprise he was!  I had a strange feeling, it's indescribable.  Maybe you
can say, "love at first sight?"  He haven't noticed that I was at the door,
so I said "Hi, I'm Joe you're roommate."  He responded with, "hi Joe, I'm
Chris thanks for taking the good side of the room" Now I was feeling really
bad.  Chris started to laugh, the cutest laugh.  "I'm kidding I don't mind,
wow your facial reaction is priceless" I started to laugh and offered him a
helping hand.

I'm now seriously in love with him!  I never felt this way before, not even
when I was dying to get a date.  My old self started to come back, but I
pushed it back.  For one year I kept my feelings away from him.  I didn't
want to ruin my friendship with him, we've grown to become bestfriends,
brothers.  During the summer we decided to get our own apartment so we went
looking for one.  I had this feeling like we're a couple looking to buy a
house.  He was asking how I felt about it and I was asking him the same.
We finally found one which was 5 minutes away from campus with a reasonable
price tag.  We started to move our stuff in, when I loaded my room it hit
me that I won't be sleeping in the same as he is now.  I saw screaming
"DAMNIT!!" in my head.

One night we were watching a rented blockbuster movie in the living room,
the Ring to be extact.  I chose it on purpose because I know even though
hes a sophomore in college, he was a wuss when it came horror movies.  He
always stayed away from it, but this time I talked him into it.  So we were
on the same sofa watching the Ring, he was sitting pretty close to me.  And
when a scary scene came he placed his head on my shoulder and held my hand.
I was thinking WOW THIS IS AWESOME!!  I was laughing saying it's alright.
Then I placed my right arms around him and he didn't say anything.  We were
like even after the movie was over.  He ended up sleeping in my arms on the
sofa because "he was so scared" I did not mind, NOT AT ALL!!

I was awaken by a soft gently lip against mines.  My bestfriend, the one I
love kissed me!!  I said "Good morning scaredy-cat" He replied with I was
just faking it you know.  I started to laugh and said "you're not a good
actor, don't lie to me. I know you too well."  I was thinking YES THIS IS
THE MOMENT, HE'S THE ONE FOR ME, I FOUND HIM I'M SO HAPPY!  After that
thought ended he kissed me again and we started to make out. I'm finally
with the one I LOVE!  I'M LOVED MY THE ONE I LOVE!  It was worth the wait,
if I ended my life when I was in high school I wouldn't have had this
opportunity to find my love.  My wish has came true, but it was me who made
it happen, not some "magic."  I stayed alive, living for my dream, happy
and content with my life, not concerning with my time with emotional
problems because there is more to life than that.  I waited but took the
opportunity when it was the right time.

to be continued..the middle.

email me at TurnLeftTurnRightGoForward@yahoo.com with comments and
concerns.