Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2011 23:49:46 +0000
From: Morris Henderson <bigmoh@post.com>
Subject: Rumspringa_Part_1

RUMSPRINGA

PART ONE

Chapter 1

The Amish are an admirable people. One must not think of them as
strange anachronisms that wear odd clothes and are trying to live in
the twenty-first century as though it were the eighteenth century.
They are industrious and often entrepreneurial. They are devout but
do not force their beliefs on others. They are compassionate in
helping others in need both inside and outside of their community.
They have strong family values that give every member a sense of
belonging and being loved. They are never prideful or arrogant nor
do they lust after the ostentations of material wealth.

One of their practices that is particularly admirable is Rumspringa in
which young adults (usually 16 to 18 years old) are allowed to leave
the strict routine of family and community to live among the
"English" (the term they use to refer to non-Amish). During this
period, they are exempt from Ordnung (rules of the church) and can
therefore experience life outside the community including the use of
electricity, wearing non-traditional clothing, driving vehicles other
than a horse-drawn buggy, not having to attend home prayer,
drinking alcohol or even trying drugs, and engaging in premarital
sex. Typically, they do not commit the serious offenses more
common in the "English" community.

Why is Rumspringa such a good idea? The rationale is that the
individual, having reached, or at least is on the brink of, full
maturity, has the freedom to decide how to live the rest of his or her
life -- either in or outside of the demands of Ordnung. Every
member of the Amish community has the chance to make a
conscious and informed decision about his or her future. In practice,
a vast majority choose to return to the Amish community to be
baptized, become an adherent of the faith, eventually marry (always
within the faith), raise a family, and carry on centuries-old traditions.
Those who choose not to return are not condemned, although parents
may be saddened by their progeny's choice.

In principle and practice, therefore, Rumspringa is effective. But not
always. Such was the case of Jeremiah who, at the age of thirteen,
began to sense that something about himself was different. And
possibly wrong. As an expected consequence of puberty, he
developed a compelling curiosity about his and others' bodies ...
specifically the area between navel and knees ... and about sex and
procreation. He knew, of course, how livestock and wildlife mated
but could only speculate about how humans engaged in intercourse.

Most troublesome was that by fourteen his interest was focused
almost exclusively on his own and others' penises. He tried --
unsuccessfully -- to explain it away as normal curiosity. But why
did it consume his thoughts? Especially when he saw Isaac, a boy
his age from a neighboring farm and who seemed to be the
embodiment of masculinity. Why did he not experience similar
feelings when he saw girls and young women? Wouldn't that be the
natural reaction to a shapely female form?

When he was fifteen, he accidentally discovered the sensual pleasure
of masturbation one night as his hormones compelled his hand to
fondle and stroke his penis that had grown from a little boy's stub to
a sizable appendage between his legs. It felt good! He had done it
often, usually just before going to sleep but increasingly when he
was alone in the barn or the fields. He wondered if Isaac did the
same and concluded that surely he must. As he continued to stroke
his rigid penis, the image of Isaac dominated his thinking. The
sensations emanating from his crotch intensified as he saw in his
mind's eye his friend pulling down his pants and underwear and
stroking his stiff penis. The image magnified the pleasure he felt and
he unconsciously pumped his erection faster. He was paying more
attention to his fantasy than to himself when suddenly a totally new
sensation burst into his consciousness. His penis became tender,
tensed, and spewed several volleys of hot, white cream that formed a
rivulet from his left nipple to his navel. His heart beat faster; his
breath became short, shallow, and rapid; and several simultaneous
bolts of lightening radiated from his pelvic area throughout his body.

He lay motionless for a long time contemplating what had just
happened. He knew all about sperm and semen as it applied to
livestock so he also knew what had been ejected from his penis. He
didn't know, however, how wonderful it felt! Eventually, his
thoughts turned to whether it was right or wrong to stimulate one's
self to the point of ejaculation. Whether by logic or rationalization
he arrived at a conclusion. No one had told him not to do it although
there were countless other things he had learned from his parents
about what to do and what not to do in order to be a good, God-
fearing person. Moreover, it felt good. How could something that
feels so good be bad? Would God have given man such a means of
pleasure if it was somehow evil? (He conveniently ignored or was
ignorant of the many addictive vices prevalent in the outside world
that God would condemn or punish.)

Ultimately, he realized that there was a mess on his chest and
abdomen. What could be done about that? He could wipe it off with
his handkerchief but his mother would notice when she did the
laundry. Although he had convinced himself it wasn't wrong, a
large part of him wanted to keep it a secret, especially from his
mother. What to do? How to dispose of it? It came from his body,
he reasoned. He would return it to his body. There could be no
harm in that! He scooped up two fingers full and transferred the
creamy liquid to his mouth. It tasted AWFUL! Not like his
mother's vanilla pudding or creamy gravy. By the time he had
cleaned up the last little bit the taste was more tolerable. He didn't
know it at the time but he would quickly learn to enjoy the taste and
consider it an appropriate finale to the whole ritual of self-
stimulation.

Masturbation became a frequent and important part of young
Jeremiah's life. He had no inkling that the accompanying mental
image of Isaac foreshadowed a crisis in his life that lay ahead.

<><><><><>

Two years later his father took the young teen aside and said, "I
think it's time for your Rumspringa. You know what that is and how
important it will be to your future -- either here or in the outside
world."

"But don't you need me here to help with the farm?" Jeremiah asked.
"How can you get the fields ready for planting? Shouldn't we
postpone my Rumspringa?"

"No," his father replied without hesitation. "It's time. Your little
brother is as old as you were when you began to help."

Jeremiah knew better than to disagree with his father. In fact, it had
been risky to challenge him with the questions he asked. "If you say
so, sir," he obediently replied.

"I've spoken to Isaiah. He suggested that you and his son, Isaac,
leave together. It's a good idea. You and he will both be better able
to cope with English ways if you have each other to lean on. At least
for a while."

"Yes, sir," Jeremiah said, agreeing with his father's decision entirely
because it was habitual to do so. But inwardly, he had serious
reservations. It was one thing to fantasize about the neighbor boy
but constantly being with him might easily be something he could
not handle. Could he conceal his attraction? If not, what would be
the consequences?

"Isaiah has a distant cousin who lives just north of Akron," his father
continued. "He's agreed to come to Millersburg next Saturday and
take you to his house. He has a spare bedroom you two can use until
you find jobs and another place to stay."

"Next Saturday?" Jeremiah exclaimed without thinking. "Isn't that a
little soon?"

"It's all arranged," his father said with a finality that precluded
dissent. "You have four days to get together the things you'll need
to take with you."


Saturday brought heavily overcast skies that further depressed
Jeremiah's mood. He was leaving the comfort and security of the
only home and environment he had known for seventeen years. To
face what? That question caused more than a little apprehension.
He hid his reluctance at leaving because he knew that it was
something he was expected to do. He had known that for a long time
but the reality of departing weighed heavily on his mind.

Jeremiah felt strangely uncomfortable as he put on chino trousers
and a plaid shirt that were more appropriate for the unknown
territory he would be going to. He looked longingly at the work
boots that were his customary footwear even for Sunday services but
slipped on socks and "street shoes" that made him feel even stranger.

The farewells with his family were brief. His father said little. His
mother tried unsuccessfully to hide her tears as she hugged her son
and said, "May God look after you and bring you home." The
meaning was clear. It was a plea to resist the temptations of the
world and choose to return for baptism, marriage, and full
integration into the Community of the Faithful.

Soon after Isaac arrived, having walked the half-mile from his home,
the two boys and Jeremiah's father climbed into the buggy for the
ride into Millersburg where they were to meet Jason Sanders who
would whisk them off to the alien world of Akron, Ohio. The two
boys spoke guardedly about the adventure that awaited them, not
wanting to reveal their deep-seated excitement about experiencing
the wonders of modern technology and lifestyles. Jeremiah, with
considerable effort, managed to conceal his admiration of -- and
attraction to -- Isaac.

As arranged, Jason Sanders was waiting in his SUV at the edge of
the parking lot of a large barn/gift shop on the outskirts of
Millersburg. Following only short introductions and farewells, the
two boys transferred their luggage to the SUV and settled into the
back seat. It was the first time for both of them to be in any
motorized vehicle and, when they reached highway 241 that headed
northeast toward Akron, they were somewhat uneasy with the speed
of travel. Neither, of course, would admit that and they soon became
accustomed to the pace.

Conversation on the trip was lively with Jason taking the lead,
asking questions and offering information about life in "the big city."
The boys were content to respond briefly to questions but hesitant to
ask any of their own. Better not to reveal their ignorance of
"English" ways even though Jason would most certainly have
understood.

Upon arriving at a two-story brick house on a half-acre lot in a new
housing plat on the outskirts of Akron, Jason said, "Here we are --
your home away from home for a while." He escorted the boys
upstairs to the spare bedroom and said, "Here's your room. Get
settled in while I fix lunch. I'll call you when it's ready."

Jeremiah's first impression of the spare bedroom was the double bed.
"Lordy!" he thought. "I'll be sleeping in the same bed as Isaac! It's
one thing to imagine him when I masturbate but quite another to be
actually lying next to him." His future bedmate, however, had no
such thought; he had been sharing a bed with his brother for years.

After unpacking their things the two boys went downstairs to the
kitchen where Jason was preparing lunch. They marveled at the
electric appliances he used and how much more quickly and easily
he had lunch on the table. Jason (who had long ago chosen to leave
the Amish community after Rumspringa) was a non-denominational
Christian and offered a simple but heartfelt blessing: "Father, we
thank you for this meal. May it be used for the nourishment of our
bodies. In Jesus name, Amen." As they ate, they continued their
conversation -- this time mostly about the public transportation that
would take them anywhere in the city they wanted to go and about
places to look for work. Significantly, Jason said, "Isaac, I told your
father that you could stay here until you found other
accommodations but I've changed my mind. You're welcome to
stay as long as you like. My kids are all grown and moved out. And
since my wife died last year I've found that rattling around this big
house by myself can get very lonely. Having you two here will be
welcome company."

The invitation solved a major problem that the boys had worried
about and they gratefully accepted the offer. After prolonged
negotiation, Jason agreed to accept a nominal weekly rent that he
knew would hardly cover the food that two healthy teens would
consume.

The afternoon and early evening was spent with a tour of Akron.
Jason pointed out the bus stop a half mile from the house and
explained which bus would take them to the center of the city. In the
downtown district, Jason was quick to identify areas to be avoided
and others that were safe. "Of course," he added, "once you're
accustomed to navigating around the city you can use your own
judgment." As they drove around, Jason pulled over to the curb and
stopped. "There are some places you never want to venture into.
Like that bar over there. Oh, I know, you'll want to experiment with
alcohol but not in that place. It's a hangout for queers, especially on
Friday and Saturday nights. Young studs like you are desirable prey
for the predators that hang out looking for ... well ... It's just
something that you don't want to do."

Jeremiah didn't understand since he had no knowledge of gay sex
but Isaac caught the meaning immediately and asked, "You mean it's
true? There are really men who fornicate with other men?"

"Very true," Jason replied. Not wanting to continue the topic, he
pulled away from the curb and said, "Just stay away from that place.
Okay?"

Jeremiah was now confused and curious. Yes, he knew what
fornication was and that it was common and natural. It's what
produced calves and colts, and even human babies. But why would
two men try it. More puzzling was HOW! It would be some time
before he deduced that inserting the penis into the anus would
approximate the male's behavior he had witnessed several times as
animals were bred on the farm.


After supper that night, accustomed to retiring to bed soon after
sundown, the two boys excused themselves and went upstairs to their
room. Isaac was quite at ease as he went into the bathroom to
change into his pajamas but Jeremiah's anxiety was climbing. The
moment he feared was approaching; he would be side-by-side, just
inches away from the one who had monopolized his sexual fantasies
for a long time. He took his turn in the bathroom to change,
returning to the bedroom to find Isaac in bed. Summoning all the
force of will he could to control his feelings, he slipped under the
covers, said "Good night," and lay down on his side, facing away
from his friend. `No masturbation tonight,' he thought. `Maybe I
should have done it in the bathroom. From now on, I suppose that
will be the only place of pleasure available.'

It was a long time before Jeremiah could fall asleep, long after
Isaac's slow breathing indicated that he had no such trouble. As he
lay there, his imagination, unbidden, took over his thoughts. He
mentally visualized his bed partner naked, erect, and masturbating
just as he had done so many times before. The image was abruptly
shattered when he realized that he was unconsciously fondling his
own very stiff penis. That was a first. Previously, he conjured up
the visual picture only after achieving an erection and beginning to
stroke. This time, however, his imagination triggered his penis to
engorge and beg for relief. As before, the lustful young man was
unaware that it foreshadowed a life crisis in the future.

<><><><><>

Jeremiah found work in a fast food place serving burgers and fries.
It didn't pay well, was tediously repetitive, and involved an erratic
schedule but afforded the opportunity to observe (as he phrased it)
"the ways of the English" most of whom he found to be aloof,
demanding, and positively unfriendly. Isaac worked stocking
shelves in a grocery store with occasional stints at bagging and
retrieving carts from the parking lot. The two boys compared notes
in the evening and agreed that life on the farm in spite of the arduous
labor was far more pleasant and satisfying. They also agreed, if only
tentatively, that they would return home at the conclusion of their
Rumspringa.

Fate, however, would conspire to change Jeremiah's mind.




Chapter 2

Two weeks passed before Jeremiah overcame his distress
and anxiety over sharing a bed with Isaac. He still had
uncomfortable surges of lust from time to time but learned
to distract himself by concentrating on something other
than the desirable specimen of young, viral manhood that
lay next to him. But when he was in the shower or sitting
on the toilet, he gave his imagination full reign as he
feverishly stroked his cock while maintaining a vision of a
naked Isaac doing the same.

Immediately following each explosive orgasm, however,
guilt consumed his thoughts. Having access to Jason's
computer and the Internet, he had done considerable
research and learned about homosexuality. Much of what
he read upset him because he recognized traits and attitudes
in himself that matched the description of a homosexual
male and he learned that virtually all monotheistic religions
-- including Christianity, Judaism, and Islam --
condemned it as a serious sin against God and nature.
Nevertheless, he regularly surrendered to his urges and
persisted in masturbating, allowing his attraction to Isaac to
add a measure of satisfaction to his nearly daily practice of
self-stimulation. His mental conflict of succumbing to the
powerful desire to masturbate and subsequently chastising
himself for his weakness often plunged him into
depression. When Jason or Isaac asked what was wrong,
he valiantly put on a façade of cheerfulness. But the
contradiction of his behavior and loyalty to Amish beliefs
were like a malignancy in his soul.

Ultimately, he seized on two items in his research that
eased the emotional turmoil that was pushing him toward
mental instability. First, he read that masturbation is so
common among men, especially young men, that it could
be called a universal practice. Second, young teens may
experience an attraction to other males but it is a passing
phase before they fully mature and become heterosexuals.
Furthermore, experimentation with others of the same sex
before traditional courtship and marriage is not uncommon.
That information, alone, became the lighthouse that would
guide him from the stormy sea to safety on shore. It was
okay to masturbate. It was okay to feel attracted to another
male -- at least for the time being. But a faint voice of his
strict Amish heritage warned him that it was not okay to
have physical contact with another's genitals solely for
selfish pleasure. He didn't recall any explicit mention of
the taboo as he grew up but it was a derivative of countless
other teachings on proper behavior. It was, he concluded,
another wicked behavior of the "English" and unacceptable
for a good Amish man.

The guilt he suffered following masturbation was therefore
dispelled from his mind and he was able to enjoy the
sensual gratification whenever he was alone and wanted it.
Isaac could be a part of the enjoyment -- at least in his
imagination. There was no harm and no sin in that. There
remained, however, a lustful desire to see, to touch, to
caress his friend's naked body; to fondle his penis until it
was erect; to stroke it as he often stroked his own until it
yielded its pearly liquid. Oh, how he wondered what it
would feel like to do that, how much pleasure he might
enjoy, how much semen his friend would produce, and
even whether it tasted as good as his own. But he
regretfully realized he would never know the answer to
those questions. Thinking about and wanting something
can be forgiven but acting on those thoughts would surely
be condemned by God.

Such was the complicated rationalization that allowed
Jeremiah to satisfy his sexual needs alone and as often as
he could but that would simultaneously keep him from
risking any forbidden physical contact with another person.
He had successfully convinced himself that God would not
mind his masturbating but would punish any additional
daring conduct.

<><><><><>

One month later, Jeremiah was forced to violate his self-
imposed "hands off" policy.

Isaac awoke one Saturday morning with a fever and
nausea. Jason insisted on taking him to the Urgent Care
Center but Isaac steadfastly refused, saying he had had the
flu before and it would pass in a day or so. After a lunch of
chicken soup (the universal but rarely effective remedy), he
lay in bed sweating with an empty pail nearby in case he
had to vomit again. On one of Jeremiah's frequent visits to
check on his condition, Isaac said, "I have to use the
bathroom, Jerry." (They had previously decided to use the
nicknames Jerry and Zack while living with the "English"
during Rumspringa.). "Can you help me?" he asked with
embarrassment.

Jeremiah helped his friend out of bed and supported him as
they walked to the bathroom. Once inside, Isaac's strength
ebbed further and he said, "I hate to ask you, Jerry, but I'm
afraid I need more help. Would you mind pulling down
my pajama bottoms and help me sit on the toilet?"

Jeremiah had no thoughts other than sympathy for his
ailing buddy and doing what he could to help. Until ...
until he saw in reality what he had previously been able
only to imagine. A perfectly beautiful, uncut penis (larger
than he had suspected) dangled from its root that was
buried in a profuse bush of jet-black pubic hair. Jeremiah
inhaled sharply at the sight but quickly recovered and
lowered the weakened young man into a sitting position on
the toilet. A thick, forceful stream of urine gushed into the
pool of water below the gorgeous (so Jeremiah thought)
appendage, the symbol of manhood that Jeremiah longed to
touch, to feel, and to fondle. Isaac was preoccupied with
relieving his bladder and Jeremiah took full advantage of
the opportunity to admire his friend's equipment that, he
now noticed, included a pendulous scrotum bulging with
testicles. (Yes, because of his puritanical background, he
thought of these things with proper anatomical names. He
knew the terms, cock and balls and a few synonyms, but
considered them to be profanity.) The icon of manliness
between his idol's legs seared the image into his mind to be
recalled as further stimulation and pleasure when he
masturbated.

When finally Isaac was through with his business, Jeremiah
helped him stand up. In the process, the pajama bottoms
fell down to around his ankles. "Can you stand while I pull
up your pajamas?" Jeremy asked with genuine concern for
his friend.

"No, but I can hold on to your shoulders while you bend
down to get them."

Without anticipating what lay immediately ahead, Jeremiah
dropped to his knees in front of his friend. That, of course,
positioned his eyes just inches from the temptation of the
penis he had "seen" countless times in his fantasies but
only recently in reality. He paused --a moment or two too
long--- to admire the object of his secret desire. With
much of Isaac's weight pressing down on his shoulders, he
couldn't resist pretending to struggle with the pajamas
while hardly taking his eyes away from what he longed to
touch and fondle.

"Problem?" Isaac asked.

"No," Jeremiah replied, hastening to pull the pajama
bottoms up. The temptation became too great to resist and
he wrapped a hand around the tube of flesh to tuck it inside
the pajamas before finishing the task. It was a totally
unnecessary gesture and lasted too long. Isaac, in spite of
his condition, noticed, wondered why it was done, and
even entertained a fleeting suspicion of Jeremiah's motive.

Jeremiah managed with difficulty getting Isaac back into
bed, rationalizing that he had only been assisting someone
in need. Wasn't that what he'd been taught to do since he
was very young? Wasn't that the Christian thing to do?
Sure, he had taken the liberty of looking at and touching
his friend's penis but that wasn't a serious infraction of
Ordnung. It wasn't a homosexual act; it was simply
satisfying a curiosity. Such was the twisted logic that
eased Jeremiah's conscience.

But God would test him again!

Once Isaac had settled into bed, he continued to wonder
about Jeremiah's apparent fixation on inspecting and even
handling his penis. Up to that point, there had been neither
evidence nor even a hint that Jerry was "that kind." Could
it be? He had to know. And he could find out with a
simple test. "Jerry," he began hesitantly. "I really hate to
ask another favor but I'm all sweaty and I'm sure I'm
smelly. Would you mind terribly giving me a sponge bath?
My mother did it when I was a little boy and it made me
feel a lot better."

"Sure, Zack, if that'll make you feel better."

Jeremiah went to fetch a large mixing bowl of warm water
from the kitchen and a wash cloth and towel from the
bathroom. On the way, the enormity of what he'd been
asked to do struck him like a powerful kick from a stallion
back on the farm. He resolved not to make the same
mistake as he made pulling up Isaac's pajamas. 'The
consequences are simply too dire,' he told himself.

He washed and dried Isaac's face, arms, and torso with no
crack in his resolve but with ample thanks from his pal.
"Does that feel better?" he asked as he started to gather up
the cleaning items.

"Definitely," Isaac answered. But, still wanting to
ascertain Jeremiah's interests, he added, "But you've only
done half the job. How about my legs? They're all sticky
with sweat, too."

Jeremiah hesitated. "But I'd have to take off your pajama
bottoms," he objected. "Are you sure you want me to do
that?"

"Didn't your father always tell you that a job half-done is
not done? That's a line my father used with me more than a
few times."

Reluctantly and fearing a lack of resolve, Jeremy pulled
down the quilt and sheet. He would have to get perilously
close to Isaac's private parts that would be fully exposed to
view. Would that excite him to the point of erection?
Could he control his eyes and his hands? Or would he
commit another grievous blunder that would surely destroy
a friendship? He was about to remove the pajama bottoms
but stopped and said, "This is a bit awkward. Are you sure
you want me to finish the job?"

"Of course," Isaac replied. "Besides, you're just being a
nurse for me, what could wrong with that?"

"If you say so," Jeremiah said with resignation to whatever
fate might befall him.

Isaac hadn't planned it and certainly didn't expect it but the
gentle brushing of the wash cloth along his inner thighs
provoked an embarrassing response from his penis that
tingled and began to swell. He tried mightily to will it into
passive submission but failed in the effort and his penis
steadily rose toward full erection. A terrible realization
arose in his mind and he worried, 'Drat! My experiment is
backfiring. Jerry is going to think that I'm a Sodomite.
Damn!'

Jeremiah noticed life flow into Isaac's penis, of course, and
was mesmerized by the sight. Although he continued to
wash and dry his friend's upper thighs, his eyes and mind
were captivated by the hardening penis. Isaac, having
surrendered to the inevitable and unable to think of any
plausible excuse for his misbehaving penis, had no choice
but to accept the unavoidable. His distress over the
embarrassing situation was lessened when he saw that
Jeremiah was attentively watching the engorging penis.
Wasn't that the whole purpose of the planned test? Didn't it
support the theory that Jerry was a homosexual? But, upon
reflection, Isaac had to wonder, 'What did that really
prove? It might as easily be that Jerry was curious or
amused as much as it might be evidence of a secret desire
and motive. One just couldn't be sure.'

Additional evidence was soon manifest that suggested the
answer Isaac sought. Jeremiah was struggling to conceal a
growing bulge in his trousers. 'Jerry's getting an erection,
too!' Isaac thought. 'That surely means he's aroused by the
sight of mine. Or does it? I can't really be sure.'

As Jeremiah continued washing Isaac's upper thighs (for
longer than was necessary) his penis achieved full erection
and began to throb. 'Damn!' he thought. 'Jerry's sure to
think I'm a sinful Sodomite! But that's only because of the
prolonged touching and rubbing close to my penis. And
Jerry is taking too long to do that part of me. And he's
aroused by the mere sight of my erection. That's pretty
convincing proof that he's homosexual!'

Jeremiah noticed that Isaac's penis was leaking clear pre-
seminal fluid, which only accelerated the stiffening of his
own penis that was straining against the confining fabric of
his trousers.. He knew that Isaac had seen the problem
between his legs and worried about what conclusions his
buddy might draw from it. That erased any thoughts he
might have had about touching the now throbbing penis of
his friend. It would only confirm what was possibly only
suspected. He got a fresh set of pajamas and helped his
friend put them on being extremely careful not to touch the
stiff shaft that still beckoned his attention.

<><><><><>

For days, both boys wondered curiously (and hopefully)
about the other's sexual interests.

Jeremiah's fantasies as he masturbated were enhanced by
what he had seen. It was no longer a fabricated image; it
was a vivid recall of a soft and an erect penis that fueled his
arousal and increased his satisfaction before, during, and
after orgasm.

Isaac, however, fretted over what his friend must now think
of him. He lived in fear whenever he was around Jeremiah
because his unintended and uncontrollable erection may
have put an idea into his buddy's mind. If Jeremiah told
anyone when they returned home to the insular Amish
community after rumstringa it could be disastrous to his
standing and trigger the righteous wrath of his parents. But
a yearning lurked deep inside of him that he could not face
and had strenuously suppressed. Within a few days, to
quell the wicked thoughts that haunted him and to firmly
establish his reputation as a devout Christian who complied
with Ordnung, he made several scornful remarks about
Sodomites when talking to Jeremiah. He also criticized
those in the "English" world who tolerated such degenerate
behavior. His ploy was successful because Jeremiah
dismissed all suspicion that he and Isaac had the same
interest.

Days, weeks, and months passed with both boys on guard
to avoid even the slightest hint of having homosexual
thoughts. But each of them, in his own way, struggled to
cope with his urges.




Chapter 3

Author's Reminder: Jeremiah and Isaac adopted
nicknames (Jerry and Zack) to use during their
Rumspringa. This narrative, therefore, uses the nicknames
when quoting dialog between them but uses their proper
names when otherwise referring to them.



As the months passed, both Jeremiah and Isaac grew more
at ease living with Jason among the "English." Their
adjustment to life outside the Amish community might
have bordered on the traumatic were it not for Jason's
fatherly support and advice. It was, of course, a great help
that their host understood their concerns and problems
since he had experienced leaving the Amish community in
his own Rumspringa. Jason had become fond of his two
young boarders and they with him. It was no surprise,
therefore, that the boys developed a comfortable rapport
and shared their thoughts and feelings openly without the
slightest reservation. Except, of course, their sexual
interests. That had to remain a rigorously guarded, dark
secret.

Jason's grown children were all daughters. He had always
wanted a son and harbored the hope that his sons-in-law
might somehow substitute for the sons he never had even
though they were adults. But it was not to be. They did
not share with him any views on politics, pride in manual
labor, hobbies, entertainment, or, in one case, religion. His
relationships with his daughters' husbands never rose above
being politely cordial. With Jeremiah and Isaac it was
different. A trust developed. They shared in each other's
joys and sorrows. Their Christian values were compatible
and complimentary. Jason relished the companionship in
what would have been a lonely, empty house. The boys
welcomed the comfortable security that enabled them to
cope with the stresses of a strange new environment. There
was a genuine affection that had emerged in a surprisingly
short time. Jason relished the role of father figure and the
two naïve young men looked to him in much the same way
as they did with their own fathers.

The boys' bond with Jason was much stronger than with
each other. Their compelling need to conceal their
forbidden attraction to one another inhibited them from
exhibiting anything more than polite but obvious
friendship. Although they were good friends they were
always guarded in relating to each other. Isaac found that
easier than Jeremiah because he had more quickly and
more thoroughly mastered the tactics of suppressing his
true yearnings. He now successfully cloaked them even
from himself with overt disdain for homosexuality.
Jeremiah, by contrast, lacked a sufficiently strong force of
will. Lust frequently rose to his consciousness. He was
also far more introspective and honest with himself. He
readily recognized his cravings, which caused no small
amount of mental conflict.

Bedtime was still a problem for them both. It was a trivial
problem for Isaac since he had honed his coping and denial
skills while sharing a bed at home with his brother. It was
a much larger problem for Jeremiah although a steadily
diminishing one. Still, there were nights when his
attraction to and the proximity of his bed mate resulted in a
powerful longing for some type of intimate, physical
contact. He was developing skill in controlling his urges
but slowly. Masturbation was always satisfying but he
yearned for something more. He wasn't too sure about
what that "more" was except that it would involve giving
his body up to a partner and having free access to that
partner's naked body. The orgasm would surely be far
better than in solitary masturbation. 'What did homosexual
men do to each other to trigger it?' he often wondered.
Manually masturbating each other seemed to be the only
logical way.' He found the idea of anal sex to be
disgusting. The idea of oral sex didn't occur to him. So his
fantasies now included masturbating Isaac. And, in his
imaginative flights of fantasy as he stimulated himself, it
was his friend's hand stroking his penis.

<><><><><>

To celebrate Jeremiah's eighteenth birthday, Jason treated
him and Isaac to a fine meal in an upscale restaurant.
Neither of the young men had experienced anything like
that before and they were nervous as they entered the posh
atmosphere of the dining room. Each feared he would not
know how to act in such elegant yet alien surroundings and
might embarrass himself and his host. Jason sensed their
discomfort and assured them, "Don't worry, boys. It's just
a meal. Maybe different than what you're used to but it's
one of the experiences you ought to have during
Rumspringa."

Different it was! The boys were familiar with `down-home
cookin' and had even eaten at 'sit down and be served'
restaurants since arriving in Akron, but they didn't
recognize half the items on the menu. They wondered
why they had two forks and two spoons, they couldn't
understand why it required a plate under the soup bowl,
they were disappointed at the size of the main course, and
they were puzzled when they chose a desert from the
selection on a rolling cart only to have the cart wheeled
back into the kitchen before their choice was delivered to
them later. They both regarded those practices completely
impractical and inefficient. The real shock to their
sensibilities came, however, when they stole a glance at the
bill with a total that exceeded their week's payroll check.

"Well, boys, how'd you like the meal?" Jason asked as they
walked to the parking lot.

"The meal was outstanding," Isaac gushed. "But ... well ...
it was..." he paused.

"It was what?" Jason asked.

"It cost you too much money! I enjoyed it but I hate to see
you waste your money on a single dinner."

"It was more than just a meal, Zack. It was a celebration of
Jerry's birthday. One has to do something special like that
for a celebration."

Jeremiah joined the conversation. "Thank you, Jason. It
was wonderful. But I agree with Zack. I'd have been just
as happy eating at the steak house on Maple Street. As
long as you and Zack are there. That's what makes things
special for me."

"Okay," Jason conceded. "The company we keep is
important. But as I said earlier, it's one of those
experiences you ought to have during Rumspringa. And
there's another. I thought we could stop at a bar and have a
few beers before going home. It's okay. You're allowed to
do that. In fact, it's one of the reasons for Rumspringa --
to experience life outside the community so you can decide
whether to return or to chart your future here among the
'English'."

Neither young man was eager to stop at a bar. Both had
been told stories about the addictive nature of alcoholic
beverages and how they corrupted one's mind and soul.
However, mostly as a favor to Jason, they accepted his
invitation. They would later regret agreeing to the plan.

They did not like the taste of the beer but had a second one
only to graciously accept Jason's hospitality. And a third.
Both became light-headed as the alcohol invaded their
bodies and they weaved as they walked out of the bar and
across the parking lot to the SUV. (Jason, having
developed a tolerance for alcohol, was unimpaired and
could safely drive home.)

Both Isaac and Jeremiah chose to go immediately to bed
because they were tired and didn't feel well. "That was
very nice of Jason," Isaac said, slurring his words.

"Yes," Jeremiah replied. "But I hope he doesn't want to do
it again. Especially the stop at the bar. I feel terrible. I
just want to get into bed. I'm not even going to shower
tonight."

Foregoing his usual nightly prayer, Jeremiah began to strip
off his clothes, tossing them into a heap on the floor while
Isaac watched with increasing interest as each article of
clothing was removed. As more of his muscular physique
was bared, it awakened thoughts from deep inside that had
been lurking but continually suppressed by rational
consciousness. He would never have allowed himself to
watch so intently if he were sober but most of his
inhibitions had been washed away or disabled by the
effects of alcohol.

When Jeremiah was undressed except for his briefs, he fell
into bed on his back next to Isaac whose eyes were riveted
to the sizable bulge in the white cotton briefs. He had
never seen what lay under the fabric of his friend's
underwear but a faint outline of his penis was enough to
arouse his curiosity as well as energize his libido.

Isaac lay down on his side and inched closer to Jeremiah.
He laid an arm across his buddy's bare chest as he inquired
with mock concern, "Are you all right, Jerry?"

"Yes. No! But I'll be fine in the morning,"

"I worry about you, Jerry. I mean that." Skipping several
steps in his half-formed plan, he continued, "Because I like
you. I like you a lot." Jeremiah did not respond because
the room seemed to be whirling. Isaac resumed speaking
thoughts of comfort -- and affection -- while
simultaneously massaging Jeremiah's chest. Receiving no
response since Jeremiah was half-asleep, he ever so slowly
moved his hand down toward the ultimate goal. He
watched attentively until slow heaving of his best friend's
chest indicated that he was fully asleep. Within a few
minutes, his hand slipped cautiously beneath the waistband
of the briefs that housed what Isaac now desperately
wanted to touch and to fondle. More than that, he wanted
to SEE what lay under the concealing fabric. His lust was
at fever pitch. His penis was erect and leaking. He no
longer had control of the demon that had imprisoned his
primal needs. In his still inebriated state, he abandoned
caution that became, at best, only a background concern.
He convinced himself that his beloved Jerry wouldn't
awaken and notice that his briefs were being slipped down
and completely off.

Good fortune and the effects of alcohol on his friend were
on his side; the sleeping form did not stir. Its reproductive
organ -- and, no doubt, a constant source of pleasure to its
owner -- lay open to full view. Any vestige of proper
behavior, all the years of indoctrination about avoiding
sinful behavior, and any prudent thoughts of rationally
assessing risk were consigned to dormancy (at least for the
compelling moment of the now).

Gingerly, he moved a hand to touch the warm tube of flesh
that captivated his attention and desire. The first touch was
almost reverential and at the same time exhilarating.
Isaac's lust was at full throttle and was in complete control
of every thought and every action. He wrapped his hand
around the flaccid penis and felt a thrill course through his
body. With his other hand he cupped the testicles that were
nestled in a wrinkled and hairy scrotum and was rewarded
with another kick of pure delight. Oblivious now to
whether his friend was still sleeping, he began to fondle
and caress. It was what he had long wanted to do (although
rarely consciously). And now the moment of fulfillment
for his inhibited need was at hand -- figuratively and
literally.

As he continued to indulge his secret desires, he watched as
if mesmerized as the penis engorged and rose slowly to full
erection. 'It's a staff of glory!' Isaac thought. 'It's beautiful!
It's as if it were meant for my hand to hold and for my eyes
to behold.'

Obsessed with the thrill and driven by lust, he bent down to
smell the manly, musky scent, which only inflamed his
desire. As a gesture of admiration, respect, and even
worship, he kissed the tip of the magic wand -- although
its "magic" was potent only to someone like Isaac who, by
reason of genetics, environment, or some combination was
attracted to those of the same sex.

Wild with the excitement of his adventure, Isaac began
masturbating the rigid rod in his hand -- slowly at first but
with an accelerating pace. He would not be content until
he saw Jeremiah's seed gush forth. Of course he gave no
heed to the consequences: it would be a mess to clean up
and much more severe would be that it would awaken his
bed partner. He would then have to admit the reality that
he was homosexual.

The worst happened. Isaac was petrified and mortified
when he heard a voice scream, "ZACK! WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?"

To be continued

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Iatia for valuable
contributions to this story.