Date: Thu, 27 Oct 2005 22:05:25 -0700 (PDT)
From: Hosed Dude <osuhoseboy@yahoo.com>
Subject: Saying Goodbye

This story contains scenes of sexual activities between two consenting
adult men.  If it's illegal for you to be reading this, don't.  If it's
secretly arousing you to be reading this, relax, God loves you no matter
what Pat Robertson says.

Saying Goodbye

A few months after I graduated college, I moved across the country from
Ohio to San Francisco, planning to spend a few years entrenched in what I
assumed would be a bohemian paradise, or at least the closest thing I could
get in the early twenty-first century.  I was totally foolish and young,
refusing to make serious plans, just finding a place to stay via the
internet, loading up my car and driving west.  But this isn't the story of
my life after I went to San Fran, this is the story of saying goodbye to a
good friend.

	I first met Danny in a Spanish class in college.  We had been
assigned to work together on a class presentation and we met at a coffee
shop on campus to hammer out the details.  We both just clicked as friends
right away, based on the usual prerequisite of similar tastes in music,
movies, and books.  We ended up hanging out even after the quarter ended,
grabbing drinks once in a while and then becoming drinking buddies.
	He graduated a year before me, and moved off campus.  Soon we
started meeting less and less, but we talked a lot on IMs.  He started
dating a girl pretty seriously, and I had the occasional fling with a girl
here or there but nothing had really clicked.  Then, his girlfriend broke
his heart, cheating on him several times.  We gained a certain camaraderie
in our frequent online conversation with our shared bitterness.  I had
joked to him that we should just start fooling around with each other so
we'd at least get some action once in a while.
	 It was one of those things that I said only as a joke but once it
was on the table we both admitted to having had some curiosity despite both
considering ourselves straight.  We occasionally would have serious
discussions about maybe trying something out, but it never really went
through.  One of us would always end up meeting a girl and dating her for a
short while and once we'd gotten some, the desire for a fuck buddy would
have waned a bit, and by the time it was back, the other would have met
someone.

	But come the week that I was planning on leaving town, we both
found ourselves single, and though the topic of fooling around had not been
raised, Danny decided that it wouldn't be right for me to leave town
without us having had a drink together one last time.
	We met at Larry's, an dive bar on campus that wasn't really one of
the hot spots for the trendier kids around, which was part of the appeal
for myself and the people I usually hung out with in school.  It was where
Danny and I usually met up for pints before he graduated, and it was where
I went until I had.  It seemed a fitting place to say goodbye.
	"So, California," Danny said as he sat down with our first round of
drinks.  A Jameson on the rocks for me, straight up, and one with a splash
of water for him.  I played a Johnny Cash song on the jukebox, a ritual of
mine from the old days.  I actually felt a little guilty because it took me
a while to find the right CD, I'd forgotten the exact location because it
had been so long.
	"Yep.  California," I said.
	"Heck of a leap," he said.
	"Yeah, but I've always been scared to do anything, I figured I have
this big risk here, so why not just take it, the only thing I have to lose
is a few months and some money if it sucks," I said.
	He nodded.  We spent the next few hours catching up on each others
lives, our IM conversations had really seemed to revolved around out mutual
strike outs with women and such, so it was nice to just sit and have some
drinks with a friend and vent about frustration.  He mostly bitched about
his job, assistant manager at a chain restaurant, and I let out some steam
about my anxiety for the move.
	A few hours and a lot of empty glasses later we both headed out of
the bar and down the street to where we had parked our cars.  It was a good
night catching up with a friend and honestly at that point the thought of
our previous discussions about potentially fooling around really had
slipped from my mind.  But then we rounded the corner to the abandoned
street, lit only by a single lamp and occupied only by our two cars.
	I stopped and leaned against the driver's side door to my car,
actually a little tired between the drinks and having spent the day
packing.  We hadn't said anything for a second, it was odd because our
friendship had been internet based for almost two years at this point,
which meant it really shouldn't be changing that much except for a three
hour time difference, but it still felt like an odd goodbye.
	I offered him my hand for a goodbye shake, but he moved in to give
me a big friendly hug.  That's all I think he was intending, a hug because
a handshake wasn't enough for friends as good as we were, but it was right
then, our arms around each other that I just felt something in my head tell
me to go for it.  So as he pulled us a part a little, I grasped him a bit,
and pulling him towards me as I leaned against the car, I pulled him in for
a kiss.
	He resisted at first, not expecting it, but he eased up for a
second and kissed me back, but then pulled away, looking around us.  I
could tell he was worried that someone might see us.  We both climbed into
my car and leaned across the console, and began to do some light making
out.  Our hands didn't roam or anything, we were both still getting used to
the shock of our lips pressed against each others' masculine lips. We
stopped kissing and pressed out foreheads together, each gasping for air
and trying to convince ourselves mentally that this was really happening
and that we liked it.
	"My roommate is out of town," he said finally breaking the silence.
I didn't answer right away so he added: "...I mean if you want to... I
didn't mean to imply that."
	"Hey, hey," I said interrupting, "we've made it this far, and we're
in this together. Why not?"
	We kissed again briefly and then he got out of the car and headed
over to his.  Once he was gone and the weight of what we had just done hit
me, I could feel my whole body tremor a little, the nerves were so intense.
Still, I followed him back to his apartment anyway.
	Once we got there, the mood had been killed a little bit, I could
see the time alone in his car had done a number on his nerve as well.  We
sat on the couch for about twenty minutes, neither of us really watching
anything, each drinking a Blue Moon from his fridge trying to relax.  I had
been the one who made the first move back at the car, but it was Danny who
finally broke the awkward barrier between us and placed his hand on my
knee.
	I put my hand on top of his and lead his palm slowly up my thigh.
He found his away to the bottom of my shirt and stuck his finger under it,
tickling at my stomach a bit, as I leaned in to kiss him again.  The one
thing I will say that surprised me, the initial shock of our first kiss
gone, was how gentle and soft a kiss it was despite being between two men.
I had always imagined male kisses would be rough and intense, but there was
as much care and passion in his kiss as the best I'd experienced with any
girl.
	He began to take charge, pushing me back so that my head pressed
against the couch cushion, and I took my lips off of his and they found
their way to his ear.  His hand had found it's way up my shirt and was
caressing my nipple as I blew softly into his ear, sliding my tounge just
barely out of my mouth, just enough to feel his cock start to press against
my leg harder and harder.  I kissed his lips again as I wrapped my legs
around his waist, and he pulled me up on the couch enough to pull my shirt
off over my head, before laying me down softly again with his hand behind
my head.  Soon he was licking my nipples, biting them a little too.  I ran
my hands along the waistband of his pants, slowly unbuttoning them, then
sliding my hands inside his underwear.  I felt him stop when he realized
what was about to happen, and we both took a deep breath as I touched his
cock with my hands.
	I rubbed his hard shaft up and down slowly a couple of times,
before lowering my hand to his balls and caressing them a little.  I
wrapped my legs tighter around him and using my arms, pressed behind me to
roll us over together on the couch, so that I was on top.  I slid his shirt
off his body the way he had mine and leaned in to kiss him again.
	I started kissing his neck, then his chest, stopping to lick and
bite on his nipples the way he had on me, I continued a trail of kisses
down his chest and stomach until I came back to his waistline again.  I
looked up at him and we made eye contact, like before with my hand, we both
took a second to make sure we wanted to take this next step.  Had I not
been leaving town, I probably wouldn't have, to be honest, but I knew I may
never get another chance, not to be with a man, but to be with Danny.
	I took a deep breath and pulled the waistband of his boxer briefs
back revealing his cock, in the flesh so to speak, for the first time.  I
jerked it a few times with my hand just trying to get my nerve up, before
finally just going for it and running my tongue along the head.  I felt it
twitch a little at the stimulation and finally I just put the whole thing
in my mouth.  I wasn't really sure what to do at this point so I just made
an effort not to hit it with my teeth as I slowly worked my lips up and
down the shaft.  I licked the base of it with my tongue and continued to
lick it and press it into my cheek, figuring that's what girls seemed to do
to me.
	Before too long Danny finally lost control.  I could hear him say
he was cumming, and I actually tried to pull off before he did but I ended
up getting a pretty large wad of him in my mouth before I could get "free."
I sat up from him and he watched me to see what I was going to do with it.
I decided to go ahead and swallow it, I knew he had been tested for STD's
since the last girl he dated because he was really paranoid about it after
his ex cheated on him.
	"Steve," he said. "You just gave me a blow job, man."
	"Don't worry," I said, "I won't make you reciprocate." I was
worried maybe I had moved too fast after all, maybe I got caught in the
heat of the moment and had gone too far.
	"Bull shit," he said, "Just because you aren't a girl doesn't mean
my rule doesn't still apply."  Danny had once told me his rule with girls
was that if they went down on him he made it a point to return the favor.
We switched positions on the couch again and he unbuttoned my jeans with
his hands, He slid his body off mine a bit and came down to my crotch,
already a little sticky with precum.  I lay there as he slid my boxers off
me, and I could see that look in his eye when he was face to face with my
hard cock that I had probably had with his.  He took another deep breath
and the next thing I knew his mouth was on my cock.
	He was surprisingly good for someone who had clearly never done it
before, I had never gotten head from a guy before but I guess I had the
same prediction about it as I'd incorrectly had about kissing.  It occurred
to me after that guys probably give better head than women because we know
our parts and what we want.
	As good as he was, I could tell he was a little more apprehensive
about it than I had been, I could tell he was working hard to try to make
me feel good but he was still scared by what he was doing.  Finally I
decided it wasn't as fun for me if he wasn't enjoying it, so I asked him to
stop.
	"Maybe there's something else we can do," I said, as he slid his
body up onto mine a bit.
	"I don't want to do anal," he said almost right away.
	"Me either," I said.  "But let's try this..."
	I slid my underwear the rest of the way off my legs, leaving me
completely naked, and Danny followed suit.  Then I positioned us so that he
was laying on top of me, in what I guess could be called missionary
position.  We started kissing again and I could feel my cock start to
harden back a bit, I rolled us over the couch so that I was on top of him
and I placed my cock just above his, and slowly started to rub my body
against his so that I was basically masturbating myself against his dick.
I slipped up and down against him, sliding in between his legs just below
his sack, but then coming back up and again rubbing our cocks together,
which made him get hard again too.  Slowly we just rubbed our cocks
together up and down, our tongues playing madly in each others mouths all
the while until finally I knew that I was about to come.
	I came all over both our stomachs, and the excitement of my
ejaculation stimulated him enough to come as well, our semen mixing
together as our body pulsations slowed down.  We kept kissing even though
we both came, until finally I rolled off him a little and cuddled up next
to him on the couch, resting my head on his shoulder, him slipping his arm
under me.
	"That was amazing," I said.
	"Yeah," he breathed out slowly.
	"We should have done that years ago," I said running my fingers
along his chest, playing a little with his nipple. He turned his head and
gave me a sweet kiss on the lips.
	"The important thing is that we did it," he added.

	Two days later I woke up early in the morning and drove off into
the west.  Danny and I kept talking on the internet but we never had sex
again. Danny met a girl he fell pretty hard for and they're still together.
After that night I knew I was bisexual, but I have yet to be with another
guy.


Author's Note: This piece was loosely based on a real friendship though all
the details have been changed, mostly to protect my friends' identity.  I
wrote this story as sort of a cathartic outlet because lately I wonder what
would have happened if I'd had the guts to actually kiss him that night.