Message-ID: <112302Z05011995@anon.penet.fi>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories
From: an169619@anon.penet.fi
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Organization: Anonymous contact service
Reply-To: an169619@anon.penet.fi
Date: Thu,  5 Jan 1995 11:21:15 UTC
Subject: SELF-REALIZATION (4th atmpt.)(mm, gay)
Lines: 551


(GAY MALE SEX. This story is a work of fiction. Any
resemblance to real persons or events is coincidental
and unintentional. This story contains descriptions of
explicit MALE/MALE SEX between young adults. Some
persons may prefer to not read it. The author does not
condone any illegal sexual activity.)



                    SELF REALIZATION

              by Bob Samson & Stephen Doonan

                   copyright 1994 RGT



Jeremy's jeep climbed up the rocky, rut-filled mountain
road with seeming self-determination. It had been a long
spring semester at Tech. His first year had been filled
with a lot of emotional strain and academic pressure as
a result of performance expectations from his family. A
two week rest of solitude and quiet would be a welcome
relief before he had to start his summer job. After
having just completed the most grueling mental
performance of his life, fishing, relaxing, and climbing
the high country were eagerly anticipated activities. 
Jeremy's cousin and good friend Larry would spend part
of the last week with him and by then Jeremy was sure he
would welcome him.

As he shifted the jeep into four-wheel drive and began
the last quarter-mile ascent toward his uncle's cabin,
he noticed that construction had begun on a new cabin at
a fork in the trail that passed for a road. His jeep
crawled forward slowly because of the roughness of the
trail; but his slow speed permitted him to glance
frequently at the two fellows, about his age, that were
building the new cabin. Neither had shirts and both wore
shorts over well-tanned, well-proportioned bodies, which
made a strong impression on Jeremy, for some reason. He
had to grab the wheel of his jeep hard to keep it from
being pulled to one side after a front tire climbed over
a large rock in the road.

The better part of the afternoon was spent unlocking the
doors and shutters of his uncle's cabin, walking up the
hill to the pump house to get the water flowing,
unloading his gear and groceries for his stay, and
getting some firewood into the tinder box. The chill of
late afternoon was beginning to set in. He started a
small fire in the wood stove. Then he went outside to
the front porch, which was elevated on poles firmly
anchored to the downward-sloping mountain.

Though he had seen it many times, he was still
mesmerized by the beauty of the location, the
unobstructed view from the porch of the wide valley
filled with trees and meadows, the sounds in the quiet,
the forest filling his senses. His ears heard the birds'
evening calls and the wind rustling through the pines.
Even the intruding pop of the nail gun at the new cabin
down the mountainside was muffled to a great extent by
the dense shrubs, evergreens, and aspens that
predominated in this environment.

Jeremy was seldom able to come to his uncle's place
unaccompanied by others of his family. He relished the
time alone, and when alone, he enjoyed being nude. He
felt closer to nature when naked. He decided to strip,
and as he did so, he felt the cool evening air bathe his
skin. "A natural naturist," he thought and smiled as he
slipped his jockey shorts down over his smooth, lanky
legs. He stepped out of them. The cool, fresh air passed
almost breathlessly over his sexual organs and exposed
buttocks. Typical of the three or four times in the past
that he had been able to undress on his uncle's porch,
he began to feel the familiar signs of sexual arousal.
He didn't know why he always had the same reaction. As
his cock elongated, exposing more of the sensitive skin
around its head, the cool evening air enveloped it,
enhancing his arousal. 

His cock grew to full hard extension, throbbing as it
strained toward the roof of the porch. Jeremy was so
taken by the feeling of being naked in nature, alone and
sexually aroused, he didn't notice that the pop of the
nail gun had stopped. He didn't hear the rustling in the
brush. He just closed his eyes, relishing each
sensation.

After some moments had passed, he opened his eyes. A guy
was standing in front of and below the raised porch,
staring up at him, speechless, clutching a finger.
Jeremy flushed with embarrassment, gathered enough wit
to reach down for his shorts and covered at least a bit
of himself, then stammered, "What are you doing here?".
Jeremy knew the fella from down the road had seen his
erection.

"I saw you drive up this way while I was working on the
cabin down below." Wendel replied. "My partner left a
couple hours ago. He went to town to be with his fiancee
for the weekend. I shot a nail into my finger, and
wanted to see if you had any first-aid stuff," he
continued. "I didn't mean to surprise you, I'm sorry."

Jeremy's erection had subsided.  He stepped into his
jockey shorts. Under the circumstances, modesty seemed
superfluous.

"Sorry," Jeremy said. "Sure, I bet my uncle has bandages
and stuff in here. Come on in. My name is Jeremy. What's
yours?"

"Wendel-  Wendel Dalton" He walked up the steps to the
porch and followed Jeremy into the bathroom of his
uncle's cabin. The wood stove had taken the chill off
the air inside. Wendel, in shorts and shoes, didn't have
on much more clothing than Jeremy. At the sink, Wendel
had his punctured finger wrapped tightly with his right
hand to keep it from bleeding too much. Jeremy turned
the water on and removed Wendel's other hand to look at
the injured finger.

"Wow. You really have a pretty bad wound.  You better
wash it good. I'll look for the disinfectant."

Wendel began cleansing the wound. Jeremy opened the
medicine chest and found some bandages and antibiotic
salve, but no disinfectant.  He stooped to look into the
cabinet under the sink. Wendel stepped back a bit to
give him room and then moved forward after the door was
opened to put his finger back under the running water.

Their bodies touched at this point. Wendel's bare legs
were rubbing against Jeremy's shoulders and torso as he
rummaged though the many bottles under the sink. The
naked skin of Wendel's legs against Jeremy's naked torso
skin sent strange sensations through Jeremy. He was not
used to being in intimate contact with another male. He
knew he was not attracted much to girls even though all
through high school girls tried to date him. He had even
wondered if he was gay, but the physical sensations now
running though Jeremy brought back a vivid memory.

He was thirteen. He and his cousin Larry were both
sleeping in a tent in Jeremy's back yard. When Jeremy
came back into the tent after taking a leak, Larry
surprised him by reaching up and pulling his jockey
shorts down. Startled, Jeremy reached down to pull them
up, but his cousin grabbed him and pulled him down onto
the sleeping bags. 

A wrestling match started. Jeremy's legs were caught up
in his jockey shorts, giving Jeremy a handicap.  Larry,
who was a little older and bigger, was quickly behind
Jeremy, wrapping his legs around him and pinning
Jeremy's arms behind his back. With his free hand, Larry
began to prod and tease Jeremy. He quickly discovered
with his hand that Jeremy had an erection.  To Jeremy's
surprise, Larry did not remove his hand from his small, 
stiff pubescent penis, but instead began fondling
Jeremy. 

Jeremy's resistance melted into acquiescence. Curious,
he lay back and enjoyed what Larry was doing. The mere
presence of someone else's hand on his sexuality, the
sliding of the skin up and down on his small hard cock,
created new and pleasant sensations Jeremy had never
felt before. He didn't want to discourage them, and he
surely didn't want them to stop. 

When Larry's mouth enveloped his maleness, Jeremy
thought he would simply explode. As Larry climbed over
Jeremy, still keeping his adolescent cock in his mouth,
Jeremy could feel Larry's larger cock pushing on his
lips. Jeremy's lips parted and Larry's circumcised
maleness slid into Jeremy's mouth. He tried to mimic
what Larry was doing to him. Exotic sensations poured
into Jeremy's mind. He had not experienced such feelings
before. 

Larry came closer to climax with each thrust into
Jeremy's willing mouth. Larry reached behind Jeremy with
his hand and began prodding his anal sphincter with his
fingers. He could feel Jeremy's small, firm butt thrust
tentatively up and down against his partially
penetrating fingers. Jeremy kept thrusting his hips
forward trying to penetrate more deeply into Larry's
mouth. 

The sensations of Larry's fingers in his ass and his
cock sliding in and out of Larry's warm moist mouth were
nearly overwhelming. Sounds like whines came from
Jeremy's throat. The moans told Larry that they were
both approaching climax. Jeremy reached behind to touch
Larry's butthole to mimic what was being done to him. It
was all Larry could handle. He climaxed. Semen began
spurting into Jeremy's mouth. The salty, pungent taste
in his mouth brought Jeremy to climax. He was still too
young to shoot sperm and seminal fluids, but
nevertheless he felt bathed in sensual explosions he had
never experienced. His young body shuddered through its
first climax. 

He melted in Larry's arms with wonderful, pleasant,
feelings . It had been like shooting stars, or rockets
on the fourth of July. As the sensations subsided, he
felt a kind of regret at their loss. This was a taste of
something he knew he wanted to taste again.

That had been five years ago. At eighteen, Jeremy was
now an adult.
 
Wendel was washing his finger at the sink. The water was
running and Wendel's leg was in contact with Jeremy's
side. As Jeremy searched for a disinfectant under the
sink Wendel's touch was causing him to become aroused
again. Jeremy moved some bottles aside, saw a familiar
one, and retrieved the alcohol.

He stood and pulled the waistband of his undershorts to
one side to keep his swollen erection from poking
through the fly.  Wendel had noticed this new erection,
but not wanting to embarrass Jeremy again, acted as
though he hadn't. Jeremy, however, furtively glanced at
Wendel's crotch and thought he saw a swelling. Jeremy
flushed as he wondered if Wendel had been watching him
while he rummaged in the cabinet under the sink. 

He handed the bottle to Wendel, who applied some alcohol
to his wound, cursed and sucked in air from the pain it
caused. Jeremy could almost feel the pain himself. He
took the antibiotic salve from the medicine chest and
gently treated the wound. As Jeremy faced Wendel to put
on the salve, he realized he had been right. The
swelling he'd seen in Wendel's shorts earlier was no
longer there. The pain caused by the alcohol must have
distracted Wendel from arousal.

The nail had not penetrated both sides of the finger.
The chance of infection was lessened because it had bled
thoroughly. Jeremy dressed it, wrapping the bandage
tightly to stop the bleeding. Then Jeremy asked Wendel
to stay for a few minutes, and offered to make coffee.
"I'll need to loosen the bandage after awhile. It's not
good to have the circulation cut off all night," he
said.

Wendel assented, and while the coffee was brewing,
Jeremy went to the porch to put the rest of his clothes
on, then returned inside. "You don't have to get dressed
on my account," Wendel said. Jeremy flushed a bit
because he was still embarrassed by the circumstances of
their initial meeting. 

"I am sorry about-  earlier" Jeremy said. "I don't know
why that happens. Almost every time I get naked up here
I get a hard-on," Jeremy stammered.

"Forget it," Wendel replied, "I've seen guys naked with
erections before. No big deal. I'm sorry I surprised you
like that. I just needed help with my finger. Besides,
you've got nothing to be ashamed of. You're a good-
looking guy, clothed, naked or aroused." Wendel
smiled. Jeremy blushed, stammered, and got up to see if
the coffee was done.

As they sat drinking coffee Wendel told Jeremy about
himself: from Odessa, Texas; out of a job in the oil
fields because of a slump in the industry; grateful to
his friend for the work and income building the cabin
below. At 18, he had lived on his own, away from his
mother and abusive father, for three years now. Being
out of work was tough. He and his partner were living in
a small tent by the construction site to save money.

The more he talked the more Jeremy's eyes fixed on
Wendel's face, the dimples at the ends of his smile, the
ruddy yet tender features. He had a genuine and pleasing
tone of voice. He seemed like a sincere, intelligent,
honest, and typical "country-boy" personality to Jeremy.

Jeremy added a bit about himself during the
conversation.  This was his uncle's cabin. He was taking
a well-deserved rest from his first hectic year at
college. As they talked, a familiarity and friendliness
grew between them. Conversation became easy, punctuated
by occasional laughter. Jeremy suggested Wendel stay for
supper. It would be modest, sandwiches and chips, but
Wendel wouldn't have to move a finger, so to speak.

Once again Wendel assented. As he stood, his lanky body
was elevated to its full and imposing stature. "I need
to go down to the job site while it's still light to put
up the tools in case it rains. I'll be back in a bit,
OK?"

"Sure. Food'll just take a few minutes."

As the porch door slammed shut, Jeremy was left with his
thoughts. He began to make the sandwiches. Although he
had expected to be alone up here at the cabin, he was
unexpectedly happy with the company. Vague but
persistent feelings of portent and excitement arose
within him. He felt that certain unforeseeable but
inevitable events would happen in their developing
friendship.

Fifteen minutes had passed. The chips were in a serving
bowl, dip beside. Jeremy covered the sandwiches with
plastic wrap. He was for some reason excited about his
new friendship, and these few minutes seemed to stretch
almost to the breaking point. He walked to the other
side of the room, picked up kindling and small split
logs, and arranged them in the fireplace for later. Why
was he so excited? How was Wendel any different from
other guys he knew?

Wendel entered the door in a loose fitting sweater,
sniffed, and inhaled deeply of the aroma. "Coffee smells
good". Jeremy smiled, poured a cup for them both, and
sat at the table to eat.  Wendel followed the lead.

As they ate, they talked casually about their lives,
each enjoying learning about the other. "I had a lot of
fights in school because I was a loner" Wendel said. "I
didn't follow the crowd, I was pretty much an
independent person."

"I've never been in a fight," Jeremy responded. "I guess
I'm just too shy. I've always pretty much avoided the
tough guys. In high school, they called me faggot once.
It made me mad, but I just walked away."

Wendel stared at Jeremy for a few moments, then
continued with more details of his life. "My father
never did much to direct me toward college. He never had
any, and he didn't see much sense in me or my older
brother going. He didn't much care about us anyway."

Jeremy told Wendel that he had never considered NOT
going to college. His parents' expectations for him had
been deeply impressed upon him since as early as he
could remember. It was a pressure he resented
occasionally. Go to college, get married to a nice girl,
have kids: grandkids. He sometimes felt he was being
forcibly stuffed and compressed into a mold of his
parents' creation, a mold he did not fit: a mold that
contorted and distorted his true being, whatever that
was.

After his third cup of coffee,  Jeremy excused himself
to piss. He stepped out on his uncle's front porch.
Wendel followed, explaining the same need. As Jeremy
pissed he noticed motion from the edge of his vision,
looked at Wendel, and saw that he was trying gamely but
awkwardly to open the button-fly on his shorts, impeded
by his stiffly-bandaged and sensitive finger. Jeremy was
about to offer help just as Wendel managed to get it
open. Wendel pulled out his dick. Soft, it was a little
bigger than Jeremy's. Probably bigger hard too, Jeremy
thought. Wendel caught Jeremy watching. "Just thought
you might need some help," Jeremy said, a little
nervous. After they were both done pissing, Wendel
didn't try to button his fly again with his bandaged
finger. "Too much trouble to undo," he said to Jeremy.
"I'll just leave it open for next time." He smiled.

Jeremy suggested they take some coffee to the couch and
light the fire. Their friendship warmed in front of the
fire, and in easy conversation time slipped away. It was
near midnight when Jeremy finally yawned. Wendel, who
had taken his sweater off to relieve the heat from the
fire, stood up.

"You'd better loosen this bandage now, Jeremy, and then
I guess I better get going" he said stretching his arms
high above his lanky frame, causing his underwear to
protrude from his unbuttoned fly.

Jeremy's eyes were fixed on Wendel's frame as he moved
close to reach his hand. Jeremy carefully unrolled and
rerolled the bandage to allow freer blood flow. "Wendel,
you should stay here tonight. If you bang that in your
sleep and it starts to bleed again, I may have to
tighten the dressing. My uncle has a spare bedroom and I
can fix the bed up easy."

Wendel agreed, and within 15 minutes they were both in
their rooms. Jeremy fell quickly to sleep. Wendel's
finger started to throb now that the pressure had been
released on the bandage. Within an hour he was up and
rummaging through the medicine chest looking for some
aspirin.

He was in pain, and his hands were clumsy. The plastic
aspirin bottle rattled as it dropped into the sink,
waking Jeremy, who quickly came into the bathroom.  His
cock was partly hard from a sleep induced erection.
Wendel noticed, but his finger was hurting too much to
be interested in sex right now. Jeremy opened the bottle
of aspirin for him and suggested they go to the kitchen
and get a shot of whiskey to help Wendel sleep. It took
three shots before Wendel thought he might be able to
sleep. They each went to their rooms and climbed back
into bed.  

In a few minutes Wendel's finger felt better. The
alcohol had relaxed his body and loosened his mind, the
focus of both turning toward his midsection. He was
horny. He was very horny. His thoughts turned to Jeremy.
He rose from the bed and removed his jockey shorts. His
growing erection was exposed. He walked toward Jeremy's
room, emboldened by the whiskey. The steady breathing of
Jeremy's sleep was audible to Wendel as he entered his
room. 

He sat gently on Jeremy's bed so as not to wake him,
lifted the covers and slid under them next to him.
Jeremy groaned a few times. Wendel was afraid he'd
awakened him, but after pausing for a bit Jeremy fell
back into his deep sleep. Wendel began to carefully
slide Jeremy's jockey shorts down his legs, excited by
the feel of the full, firm roundness of his ass. He
began to gently massage the crack between his ass,
occasionally braving greater penetration with his
fingers. His hand slid up and down very softly and
gently. Finally Jeremy, still asleep,  rolled over and
onto his back. His dick was erect. Wendel lifted
carefully the jockey shorts over the erection and then
began to lower his head to engulf the 18-year-old's
sleeping hard-on. Jeremy suddenly awoke but did not
move. He froze. Sensations rushed into his brain. They
shocked him, but this felt great, even better than when
his cousin Larry had done this to him five years ago.
Jeremy's mind was on fire. A lot of him said "NO!" to
what Wendel was doing to him, yet it felt so good, so
natural. As he lay almost in a dream-like trance he felt
himself sinking into a deeply fulfilling surrender. 

As Wendel's head moved up and down he first felt
Jeremy's body stiffen, and thought he might have
awakened. After a few seconds, Jeremy began to slightly
and tentatively thrust his waist to meet Wendel's
bobbing head. Wendel sensed Jeremy's change from, what?-
restrained permission?-  to active enjoyment.


Jeremy surrendered not only his body at that time, but
also a deep piece of himself, a part of his being. Vague
thoughts and feelings he'd had for years now began to
crystallize, to come into focus. He realized there would
be no girlfriend, no wife and kids for him. He knew at
that moment with the impact of a jackhammer to the
brain, that he was gay.

Tears began to stream from his eyes and down his face at
the realization. He knew a lot of people thought
homosexuality was wrong. He had even agreed with them at
one point. But he also knew this type of sex felt right
when he was thirteen, and he knew now it was still right
for him as an adult at eighteen. It was what he wanted,
it was a part of him. 

His mind was full to overflowing. He couldn't possibly
be fully aware of all the thoughts and emotions that
swirled like a hurricane within him at that moment. He
couldn't work through them all, sort them out, analyze,
draw conclusions. Not now. It might take months or
years. Wendel, an incredibly attractive guy, was sucking
his dick, right now. The sensations were immediate and
overpowering. He could not restrain himself or redirect
his attention. He pulled Wendel's lanky form up to him
and slowly slid Wendel's raging erection into his mouth. 

In a few minutes Wendel extracted himself from Jeremy's
mouth, and positioned Jeremy in a kneeling position on
the bed. Quickly retrieving mineral oil from the
bathroom and lubricating his dick, he placed its head
against Jeremy's anal sphincter. Jeremy groaned as
Wendel pushed until the head of his raging erection
penetrated. Jeremy sucked in air in response to the
pain. Wendel stopped thrusting and began to massage
Jeremy's upper legs, buttocks, and lower back, relaxing
him. Then Wendel penetrated a little deeper. With each
expression of pain from Jeremy, a period of relaxation
followed until Jeremy had all seven-and-one-half inches
in him. Then Wendel slowly slid out and started back in.
Jeremy groaned, but this time mostly in pleasure. The
sensation was new to him and beyond description.  Wendel
pulled out, then rolled Jeremy over on his back and
lifted Jeremy's smooth-skinned legs to his shoulders,
exposing Jeremy's rosebud hole to his eager, straining
penis. There was little pain as he entered Jeremy this
time. The repeating sensations of Wendel's erection
sliding up to and over Jeremy's prostate gland inside
his body put Jeremy's consciousness in orbit, in space.

Moans and groans, sensations of pure pleasure erupted
from Jeremy's mouth with each stroke. It was finally
more than Wendel or Jeremy could stand. Wendel began
exploding deep within Jeremy and Jeremy erupted with
explosions of semen from his organ spurting out with
great force, across his abdomen, one spurt splattering
his lips. He licked it off.

They both slept soundly in Jeremy's bed. The next
morning Jeremy woke first, got up quietly and made
coffee. He heard a yawn and the creak of the wooden bed
frame as Wendel tensed his muscles and stretched his
limbs. Jeremy entered the bedroom and smiled at Wendel,
who smiled in response and jumped out of bed with a
morning erection. "Coffee! Smells good." Jeremy looked
at and admired his new friend's tool openly, no longer
hesitant or in the least embarrassed. Wendel shifted his
pelvis forward, moving the head of his dick menacingly
toward Jeremy. Jeremy laughed. "Want to help me make the
bed?"

"Sure." They brought the sheet, then the blanket and
quilt, to the head of the bed. They each grabbed a
pillow from the floor and tossed it against the
headboard of the bed. Then Wendel suddenly stopped,
staring at the headboard. Jeremy looked also and saw, on
the beautifully-figured burl-veneer center panel of the
headboard, a large splat of dried cum. They looked at
each other and laughed. "I'll clean it up," Jeremy
voiced.

"No, don't," countered Wendel. "It's a souvenir from
last night. Leave it for now." Jeremy looked at Wendel
and again laughed. They went to the kitchen for coffee.

They didn't bother to get dressed. As the day
progressed, they were happy to be alone together on the
mountain. Wendel's finger felt better. The weekend
seemed to stretch before them, long and wonderful. 

(More to come- )
Comments/criticism by readers to the authors (at
anonymous e-mail address above) will be appreciated.
Thanks, and we hope this small offering was enjoyable.
Happy New Year!
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