Date: Sat, 12 Dec 1998 23:05:59 PST From: anony mike <anonymike21@hotmail.com> Subject: Student Government - more than work This is my first story. Some of it is true, some isn't. You can decide what you want to believe. Let me start by telling you about myself. I am in my junior year at a fairly well known university. I'm a pretty well known guy on campus, being involved with lots of different organizations. I almost pledged a frat, but decided that it just wasn't my thing. However, it wasn't until this year though that people really got to know the true me. I'd had thoughts about other guys since highschool. I played some sports, and couldn't help but think about that stuff. I just blamed it all on my changing hormones or curiosity and pushed such thoughts to the back of my mind though. I can fake straight really well. And it worked until this year. I guess I should describe myself to you; you're probably curious just as I would be. Well, I'm nothing extraordinary, at least in my opinion. Average height, average weight; I'm pretty much average in every way I guess. I have black hair and gray/hazel eyes. I've done my share of dating girls, for some reason they always seemed interested in me; probably because I ignored most of them. Like I said earlier, I am a very involved person on campus, and that's where I saw him for the first time. I was helping with orientation for the new students when I saw this incredible vision. Short blonde hair, blue eyes, nicely dressed, complete boy-next-door look, he was like an ad from a catalog come to life. I watched him from a distance talking to some annoying little college girl who seemed to be drooling over him herself. Then he started walking my way. I almost died. I pretended to be busy with some papers and not to notice him. God I hope he didn't notice me staring, I thought. I was so disappointed when he stopped half way to talk to some representatives from Student Government. Shot down. Still, I caught glances at him. He had the most beautiful smile, dimples even! I didn't see him for several weeks again. Like I said, I'd always pushed these thoughts into the background until they disappeared. And that's what I tried to do again and it almost worked. I went to a meeting of the Student Government to discuss an issue concerning an organization I was active in. I walked in the room and lost every thought. There he was again! He looked up from his desk and watched me, along with every other student, entering. I'd never felt so self-conscious in my life. It turns out that he was one of the representatives of the freshman class in Student Government. What luck. The meeting was long, boring and unexciting, until I was called upon to make my presentation. By then I had managed to collect myself and made a fine presentation. What happened next changed my life. The Student Government voted to accept my proposal and it was to be sent to a committee to be further worked upon. They asked that I work with this committee since I was so involved with this issue. I met with a group of representatives on the committee after the meeting, and there he was, in the committee with me! "Hi, I'm Paul" he said as he we shook hands. "Uh, I'm Mike," I managed to stammer out. "So, I guess we should set some meeting times to work on this," he said. Actually, he said a lot relating to the committee work, but it was nothing interesting to write about. Paul and I met several times with the rest of the committee. We almost became friends. That is, we could have become good friends if I wasn't so nervous and standoffish around him. I couldn't help myself though. I kept worrying that I would say the wrong thing and he would find out about me or just think I was stupid. So instead, I chose to pay as little attention to him as possible, still sneaking glances at every opportunity. "Hey Mike, we should meet again so we can finalize all this before making the final presentation to the Student Government with our findings," Paul said. "Yeah ok. When?," I said trying to hide my excitement. "Anytime after 6 tonight, just stop by my room when you are available. I'm in room 132," he responded. "Alright, see you tonight then" I said as he turned and began walking away. I was so excited. I just stared at him, well, his ass, through those khakis of his. I went back to my apartment off campus to get ready. I wanted to make myself look great for him, even if it was just a meeting to get some real work done. What if he was gay too? What if we did more than work on our presentation tonight? I had no idea what these feelings and nervousness were. I was always such an in control student leader, yet now my life seemed to be flowing along out of control and I liked it. I arrived at his room around 6:15. He answered the door sticking just his head from around the door. "Hi Paul, am I too early? You said after 6 right?" I asked. "Oh sorry, I just got outta the shower a minute ago, come on in," he replied. I couldn't believe my luck, could he be naked behind the door and now inviting me in? I struggled to keep that smile off my face. Unfortunately he had a towel wrapped around his waist. But I still got a look at more of his beautiful body . Nicely tanned yet pale enough to look real, a hairless chest with just a small trail near his bellybutton leading to areas that I didn't dare let my eyes wander to. He even had the beginnings of a six pack like myself. All in all, a body that seemed perfect to my eyes. "Go ahead and sit down, I'll be out in a minute" he said. He had a single suite, connected to the other suite by the bathroom. I sat down and waited for him. "I thought we could just work in here if that's alright with you" Paul said. "Sure, no problem" "Well, first we need to work on the figures for this proposal..." he said, again more boring talk about our presentation. We must have been working and writing for nearly an hour when I broke the tip on my pencil. "Hey Paul, do you have another pencil?" I asked. "I'll get one." He got up and walked to get another for me. "Here you go" he said as I just reached my hand up for the pencil still concentrating on the figures before me on paper. As I closed my hand on the pencil, I accidently grabbed his hand with it. "Thanks" I mumbled as I turned to look up into his sweet blue eyes. "No prob," as he smiled a little. What was that, I wondered. Did he just smile at me? Was that on purpose? I was so confused but my heart was racing just from his touch. We managed to work through the rest of the presentation without a hitch. "Hey, you wanna go catch a late show?" he asked with a smile and that boyish charm of his. Did he know just how cute he was? Of course I couldn't refuse. We had the best evening. I felt so energized being with him. We laughed and joked the whole night. Is this how all my straight friends felt being with their boyfriends and girlfriends? Too soon it was over since we both had classes the next day. "Hey, are you going to the party on Washington this Friday?" he asked. "Probably. A bunch of friends and I are thinking of going." "Cool. See you there then!" and with that ended our evening. Ok, so I wish there was more to that evening, but well, there wasn't unfortunately. I couldn't wait for the party. It was in one of the big houses off campus where a bunch of students lived. It was totally crowded, lots of alcohol, people and music like every big college party. I did the necessary mingling, waiting for Paul to show. Finally after what seemed an eternity, he walked in the door. I smiled and waved to him. Why did I do that? He flashed a beautiful smile with those dimples of his back at me. Then, I couldn't believe what I saw. Following him in the door was some slut who immediately went to his arm. I didn't know what to think. I stood against the wall with some friends, making small talk while watching the two of them together. I hated the girl. What was she doing with him? Why was he here with her? Every dream I'd had came crashing down when I saw them kiss. She had her arms wrapped around his neck like she owned him. I felt so empty, so betrayed. True, nothing had happened between us, but I still felt like he was mine, meant to be mine. The rest of the evening was spent talking with my friends, dancing with girls and drinking far too much. I didn't care. I'm not sure what I was thinking. I was going to show him that I didn't care about him; that I could do the same things as he could. Of course I still watched him every now and then out of the corner of my eye. That slut seemed all over Paul. She couldn't get enough of him understandably. Was I jealous? Now I can see that I was, but then I felt more furious than jealous. When her hands roamed all over his body to his ass, his beautifully sculpted ass, I couldn't stand to watch. I went and danced with the first girl I could, Tina. She was hot, most guys would have been glad to be dancing with her but my mind was elsewhere. Still, before I knew it we were dancing closer and closer and started kissing. It was all so mechanical to me. Here I was kissing this girl but not feeling a thing. My heart belonged to someone else, even if he didn't know it. "Hey, my roommate is out of town" she whispered to me between kisses. Suddenly I realized what I was doing. In my own hurt I was leading this girl to think something else. "I'm sorry Tina, I didn't mean to do this. I just can't do this" I stuttered out as I felt the tears begin to form in my eyes. I quickly rushed out the back door before anyone could see me. I don't know how long I sat on the bench behind the house just sobbing into my hands. What was wrong with me? I had lost all control of my emotions, something very scary and confusing to a control freak like myself. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder from behind me. "Tina, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you think that. It's just that things are so confusing right now and I'm just sorry about all that back there" I said trying to compose myself. I stood and turned around but Tina was no where in sight. Instead there stood Paul with a concerned look on his face. "Hey, what's wrong? Are you feeling ok? I just noticed you weren't back in there, is something wrong?" he said with the cutest concerned expression on his face. "I'm ok. Really. Just a bit too crazy in there ya know. I'm just gonna go now." "Wait, are you sure? Maybe you shouldn't drive, I know you've had a lot to drink. Come on, you can crash at my place," he said and led me along. Somehow we winded up in his room. I don't remember the evening exactly. He helped me out of my shirt, shoes and khakis and tucked me in his bed. I don't even know where he slept that night, except that he wasn't there when I woke up that morning. It was better that way though because I felt so stupid and embarrassed. I put on my clothes and walked to where I had parked my car and drove home. That evening I felt a little better about the situation. Paul didn't seem too bothered by me and we could still be friends which would be better than nothing. Then I noticed that my watch was missing. I must have taken that off last night too. I drove back to campus even though I was dreading encountering Paul again after my display last night. I knocked on his door but no-one answered. I turned the doorknob and the door was open. The people in the dorms must have been a lot more trusting than I was. I searched the room with my eyes looking for my watch which I noticed on his desk. I went and got it when I noticed a book sitting next to it. It looked like some diary or journal. Did Paul keep a journal? It would have been more proper to leave it lying unopened there, but curiosity got the best of me and I opened it to where a pen was stuck in the middle of the journal, right where Paul must have left off writing. I didn't want to read it, but just a quick glance over the page made me notice my name written in it! Paul had written something about me in his journal. Was he mad at me? Did I make a fool of myself in his eyes? I didn't get the chance to find out right then. "Hey Mike, what are you doing here?" I didn't even notice him come in. He was dressed in sweat shorts and a T-shirt, both which accented his great body. "Uh, I just left my watch here. I knocked but nobody answered so I just let myself in" I quickly answered. "O yeah, its right on my desk" he said as his eyes looked to his desk, right to where the watch was and his open journal lay. His eyes seemed to open more with realization. "Oh my God. Did you...what did...Oh God..." Paul stammered out. He looked so scared and worried at the same time. He ran over and grabbed his journal, holding it against his chest defensively. "I'm sorry Mike. I'm sorry. Why did you have to read it, please don't hate me. I can't help it, I'm sorry. Please don't tell anyone. O God I'm sorry" he said. He looked like he was going to cry. What could bring this man, the center of all my thoughts lately, nearly to tears? I walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder and made him look at me. His teary eyes looked like deep blue pools to as I looked into them. "Paul, whatever it is, it's ok. Everything will be ok. I didn't read your journal, honest. I mean, if anyone should apologize it should be me for invading your privacy like that. You're a great guy, and I like you a lot. I just didn't want you to be mad at me about last night and about just now and..." I couldn't finish my sentence with his mouth muffling me. Before I had even realized it, his lips were pressed against mine with his hands holding my head tightly to his. As he pulled away from me, I felt so bewildered. What had just happened here? Did he just kiss me? My shock must have shown on my face and registered with Paul. His face twisted into a look of pure fear. His lips trembled as those tears began to form again in his eyes. He ran into the bathroom while I just stood there, stupidly confused. Then all that had just happened hit me. Paul liked me. Even more than that, he had written something about me in his journal, and he kissed me. He kissed me! I walked to the bathroom door but all I could hear was sobbing noises. "Hey Paul, are you ok? Paul, open the door. Paul?" He wouldn't open the door but I needed to talk to him. I walked over to his suitemates room and knocked on the door and when nobody answered I turned the knob and went in. These students really were too trusting. Paul had forgotten to lock the bathroom door to the connecting suite. I found him with his back to the tub and his knees pulled up to his chin crying. I felt so torn inside. I made the man of my dreams cry. "Paul don't do this to yourself. It's ok, really," I said walking over and kneeling down in front of him. "Now you hate me and you won't want to talk to me. I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me, I'm sorry Mike, I'm so sorry" he said in between sobs. I lifted his face with one hand and wiped away his tears with the other. Then, I leaned in and placed my lips on his. I felt a surge of electricity between us that moment. He opened his mouth to me and our tongues met together. My first real kiss with another man was powerful. We were both taken aback. He looked at me with the most loving look in his eyes as I kissed away the last tear from his cheek. "Mike, I think I love you" he said. "Yeah I know, I love you too" I said as we kissed again. I'm not sure how long we were on the bathroom floor kissing. It's not the most romantic spot now that I remember it. The world just seemed to melt away with Paul in my arms. Eventually we moved into his room. Together we removed his shirt. I loved his chest so much and tried to kiss every inch from his neck to his cute bellybutton. Then I removed his shorts and felt his hardness through his boxers as he moaned in pleasure. He pushed me onto his bed as he quickly removed my shirt and began kissing his way down my body. He pulled my shoes and pants off of me and yanked off my boxers with equal excitement. There I was standing erect, waiting for his attention. He lovingly kissed it gently up and down my shaft and balls. I was delirious with pleasure. Then he took the head into his mouth. He tried to get as much as possible in his mouth and worked his tongue around, feeling every inch. I couldn't resist grabbing his head and thrusting into him in my excitement. With his hands and his warm wet mouth he brought me over the edge. "Oh shit Paul, I'm cumming! Ah yes! Oh!" I never knew how good that could feel. He took it all in his mouth. Then he moved on the bed to lay on me and kissed me deeply. I could taste myself in his mouth which made me even more excited. "Now its my turn Paul" I said. I pulled his boxers off of him and laid him pushed him down on the bed. I wanted to make him feel as good as he made me feel. I bathed every area of him with my tongue. Then I sucked his head into my mouth. I swirled my tongue around it and he moaned again. I tried to take it all in my mouth, but started gagging so decided to use my hands to help. He was really getting into this and started bucking his hips up off the bed. Then I got a wild idea and wet a finger and teased his entrance before pushing in and out of him with it. He started panting in excitement. "Oh that feels so good Mike. Oh man!" he said as he began spurting into my waiting mouth. I took it all and lapped up what came out. "That was great Mike, I love you" he said as he gazed longingly at me. "I love you more" I replied as I crawled up into his arms. We pulled the covers around us and slept the night through in each others arms.