Date: Sat, 27 Jul 2002 17:37:03 +0000 From: Nelson Kok <ship1510@hotmail.com> Subject: Sunrise-sunset chapter 5 Sunrise, Sunset, by Lost Ship Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fiction. The characters featured in this story may be based in part on actual persons, but the names have been changed. It is not the intention of the author that the characterizations be detrimental to anyone. The views and opinions mentioned in the text do not necessarily represent those of the author. Situations and their result are for entertainment purposes only and do not represent any real event. This work is copyrighted by the author and is his sole possession. Author's Note: Sorry for being silent so long. I was kinda busy for the past few months. New job, new life. Anyway, time to get on with my life again. So dear readers please write and give me your comments. I would love to hear them. My e-mail address is "ship1510@hotmail.com." Hope you like it. Also, I would like to dedicate this chapter to a few good friends of mine. First of all, there's Benny and Bryan. You guys are great. You have no idea what your coming together has done for me. I can finally feel that there is still hope for gays to find real love in the country we live in. Seeing you guys together makes all the pain less taxing on my soul now. Thanks, guys! I wish the both of you eternal bliss in your relationship. And there's also Tippy. What can I say, girl? You're wonderful. Always supportive and always cute. I know it sounds cheesy but hearing it from you, a straight girl, not minding that I'm gay makes it all seem better and tolerable. I would've burst within the world I've withdrawn myself into, crushed by the walls that I've built around myself that were closing in on me. Thanks again. Finally, there's Pops and Dad (A.K.A Geoff & Wayne). You guys are the best. Thanks for urging me to write. It feels so much better to be able to get it out of my head and somewhere where someone might just be able to relate and understand what actually goes on in my mind. I'm not very good with words but I can tell you this ------- I LOVE YOU GUYS! Thanks for being there. Ah.... A final word to whomever may be out there. I'm a person capable of loving unconditionally. I have yet to find someone to give that to. Being able to love and not have someone to give it to can be very painful. My one love till now remains ignorant of my feelings. I wish him well with all my heart though another has his. Be grateful, woman, for you have the love that I could never have. So....... If you are single, gay, looking and are a decent person, try me 'cause I'm desperate! He he... I'm quite serious about it, you know? Chapter V --------- Well, after high school is when I found my true love. Or at least that's what I thought. Ever felt like you've looked at a person and could feel contented just being with that person the rest of your life? Ever felt that that person you see is the very essence of your being, the food for your soul, the object of your passion, your emotions and your affection? That's the way I felt towards Issac. I didn't fall in love with him at first sight. In fact, I gradually grew to need him. The feeling of being whole when he smiles at me. The contentment when he's talking to me. The pride I felt when I showered him with affection and the sense of achievement when I fooled myself that I could protect him and make him feel loved always. And when did this happen? When I went to the same college with him. Life had been uneventful in high school after Alan left. I became more 'reserved'. Drawn into a world of my own. Rarely stepping out of the circle that made up my boring, pathetic life. I didn't go to parties like most youngsters. I hardly met people. And yes, I took no interest in affairs of the heart. Never looked at a girl and wanted her. Never laid my eyes on a guy and wanted a relationship. In short, I lived the life of a hermit. When I finished high school, I decided that I wouldn't go to college with the people I knew all my life. No high school buddies that I wanted to attend college with (back then, everyone wanted to attend college at the capital, or enroll themselves into various universities. My academic achievements weren't that good). So, I decided to pick a college that I had never heard of, praying that I wouldn't run into anyone I knew, or was remotely acquainted with. As luck would have it, my wish came true. I traveled to the college alone to look over the surroundings and enroll myself. Yeah, tucked away in a remote part of a remote town. I was glad I found it. However, I was a bit late in enrolling and class had already started. When I returned the next week with my stuff, class had already met for a whole fortnight. As I collected my schedule for my classes from the principal's office and casually strolled down the corridor to my first class. I marveled at the tranquility of the surroundings. Ooops! Here we are. My first class in college and I was late (class starts at 8 AM, but I reported to the principal's office at 8:30 AM). It was now 9 AM and the beginning of the second class. I braced myself and walked in. I greeted the lecturer and she directed me to sit in the far corner. Yup, life was looking good; away from everyone. Class went on for an hour, then it was mid-morning break at 10 AM. Not everyone went to the cafeteria during the break. Surprisingly, those who went came back with packets of food. Okay, now what? I sat there reading through my textbooks, peering up from my book occasionally to find my classmates regarding me with curiosity and perhaps sneering at my appearance. You see, I'm your everyday geek. Glasses, very thick; hair, out of date; clothes presentable but not trendy. And to top it off, I hadn't spoken a single word to any of them. Yup, the lecturer didn't bother to introduce me. Can't blame the people for regarding me like that. In my country, students fall into 3 distinguishable categories; Chinese educated, Malay educated and yes, English educated. Let me explain this. The government had mainstreamed the education system to be based on 3 different languages due to the multi-racial society. We were taught in separate languages in the different schools. You either go to a government owned school of which classes were conducted mostly in the Malay language, or the government owned schools of which the main medium is in the Chinese language. There are also the missionary schools of which the classes are conducted in English. Thus, if you went to a Malay school, it's highly probable that you only spoke Malay and maybe Chinese, but definitely broken English; if you went to a Chinese school, you speak bad Malay and bad English; if you went to a missionary school, everyone regarded you as a 'banana-man', yellow on the outside and white inside, meaning you are masquerading as a Caucasian. Tough life for kids, right? Because of that, the students from different mainstream schools rarely got along. The scrutinizing by my college classmates? They wanted to determine if I fell into their category. Yes, the classes in college were conducted in English. You're probably asking, "So, just which category do you fall into?" Me? I really don't know. Let me elaborate. My parents may not be well educated, but they thought about our future (mine and my brothers'). They sent us all to missionary primary schools, had us attend night classes in Chinese and sent us to Malay secondary schools. Complicated? Not to brag, but we knew a little bit of each language. Now, back to the story. A week later, they were still trying to figure out which category I fell into. They'd still be figuring it for another good 6 months if not for a joker (he became my housemate later), Ernest. He sat down beside me during a break a fortnight later and asked me, "Yo, dude! How's everything?". I looked at him, not knowing what to say. "Or you don't speak English?", he asked again. "I do. And a good morning to you too." "Whoa! He lives! Hi! My name is Ernest." "Hi! I'm Keith." "You don't talk much, do you?" I proceeded to chat with him for some time. However, I kept getting the impression that something green kept zipping before us. I looked closely and there's this short guy in a green floral print shirt and very tight pants moving from one side of the room to the other. It seemed like he was talking to almost everyone in the room and getting their attention too. As I grew more comfortable talking to Ernest each day, I started to notice that this green mass continued to zip across my line of sight everyday. I was beginning to get very distracted and very agitated by it. Who did this guy think he was? Mr. Ever Popular? And why was he talking to everyone except me? Was my presence that detestable? I started to dislike this individual. Yes, a lot, if you asked me at that time. I really wanted to look him in the eye and tell him off, but didn't because I wanted to keep a low profile. Finally, after a month, I decided that I had had enough and hated the sight of his back so much that I would tell him off. I tapped on his shoulder, determined to give him a dressing down. Little did I know that I would never succeed in doing that....... ________________________________________________________________________ Well, that's it for this chapter. That's Issac making his debut appearance. You'll be seeing a lot more of him in the future. Sorry, that it's, but some background information had to be covered. Ooops! One word to Tippy.... When you read this, you will know who this Issac character is. Please, please, please keep it a secret. I'll die is he finds out. I can't bear to lose even his friendship. Thanks!