Date: Sun, 11 Aug 2002 13:25:03 -0400
From: W. E. <wereallmadhere@hotmail.com>
Subject: That's Life (Chapter 14) Section: College

Author's Note:

IMPORTANT: Please read my endnote...there's news...

"Thank you" to all those who responded to Chapter13...wow...I'm glad you
all liked the drama. Btw, I will NOT be revealing anything about the story
as spoilers to ANYONE...regardless of how nicely you ask. I also don't take
bribes...unless it's a Porsche 9-11...then, we'll talk...LOL...

Thanks again Jay Alexander, my editor and very understanding friend, we've
had to deal with a lot of bullshit...but thanks for sticking by
me. Appreciate it!

Write to me. I love hearing from my readers: wereallmadhere@hotmail.com

If you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading such "filth",
please leave. This material contains crude language (gosh!), and
homosexuality (oh my!), so if you are offended, then, yes....goodbye!

This story is purely fictional. So, any similarity to anyone or anything is
purely coincidental. If you want to put this story somewhere else,
distribute it, whatever, please ask me first. Thanks!

With that said...


CHAPTER 14

	I lifted my hand to my face. My nose was bleeding and so was my
lip. My teeth had cut through my lip, busting it open. Then I felt the
pain. It was searing. Went right through my body. I screamed, not as much
because of the physical pain, but because of the emotional one. I had no
more tears left in me to cry. It was over. Kenny and I were over.

				    ***

	For as long as I could remember in our friendship, Kenny had NEVER
ever hit me. I guess because I had always been the weakling, the younger
one, the smaller one, and it would ruin his rep to pick on a guy smaller
than him, but he did it cuz we were friends. Oh, sure, we horsed
around. But, he had never punched me, or hit me, out of anger.

	He knew I was beaten up by my brother Owen, and he would make me
promise to tell him whenever Owen beat me up, so that he could go after
him. I would never tell him, but Kenny would find out, after seeing the
bruises on me. His eyes would turn red with fury.

"Never. Never let someone beat you up. They don't have that right. Tell me,
I'll fuck them up. No one, I mean, no one hits my best friend." He said it
with such conviction, such ferocity. His hands were clenched in tight
balls. I was afraid for whomever would be unlucky enough to dare to hit me
after that day.

	But, that's in the past...

                             ***

When I got home, I started another commotion. Of course, I couldn't have
solitude when I desperately needed it.

My mother, poking and prodding me, "Oh my lord! Galen, what happened?
Weren't you just at Kenny's? Did he do this? Go to the washroom right now,
you're dripping. Galen!"

My brother, Liam, "Dude, he hit you. Wow...lemme, see, come on, Galen. Let
Me See...pulease...Can you see the flesh? The bones?"

My sister, Catrina, "I'm going over right now to kick that bastard's ass!"

Elfi, "Oh God, Galen, oh God, I think I'm going to be sick!"

My father, "I bet you took it like a sissy. Why didn't you hit him back?
Now your sister is going to fight your battles for you? Siobhan, leave the
boy alone. He doesn't need to cry to his mother. Stop pampering him. He has
to learn to be a man, for Godsake."

My brother, Owen, "I knew this day would come. He found out about you,
didn't he?"

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I ran up to the room and
locked it. I heard screaming downstairs, but I ignored it. I just wanted to
leave, get away from here. This was not my home. I felt so alone here, so
unwanted. I want Thane...please...Thane...

I called him.

"Hello?" I was never more glad to hear his voice than at that moment.

"Thane, God, fuck!!!"

"What? What happened? Are you ok? Galen?!"

"Kenny..." I couldn't finish. It was too painful to retell.

"What?! What did that bastard do? I will fucking skin his ass. Tell me,
Galen!"

"He found out about me and pretty much made it clear how disgusted he was
by me, and us, and then he hit me to reaffirm his stand on his best friend
turning out to be homo. I didn't stick around after that. Merry Christmas."

"It's tomorrow."

"Mmm...can't wait. How many more exciting presents can I get, eh?"

"What are you going to do? Do you want me to come over?"

"So, what? So that I could say to my parents that my boyfriend came all the
way to protect me because I'm a fucking sissy and can't fight my own
battles? Sure, I don't think I have enough problems already. Come on over,
Thane."

"I...I'm sorry...I didn't mean it like that. Sorry."

"Ya, so am I. About so many things. Why? Thane, why would Kenny be like
that?  Four..." I choked back my sob, "Fourteen...years...he destroyed it
all today. All. I mean, the punch didn't fracture bones or anything. I'm
going to the hospital for stitches, I'm sure...but it was the principle of
it. He's never hit me. Ever. He was so disgusted by me, by who I am, so
much hatred, Thane. I saw so much hatred in his eyes. The punch was a
manifestation of that disgust, of that hate. I can never look at him
again."

Then the thought hit me. We would go back to Rez after winter holidays. I
would have to share a room with him for a whole semester. I couldn't. As
soon as I hung up with Thane, I would call the University and ask for an
emergency change of room. They had to grant it to me. They just had to.

"What are you thinking about now?" Thane asked.

"How I have to call the school for a room change. I can't live with him,
Thane. I don't want to live with him. I can't stand him looking at me with
that disgust in his eyes. And he'll tell Paul. I can't."

Thane was quiet.

"Thane?"

"Live with me."

I didn't think I heard him right. It couldn't be. "Wha...?"

"Live with me." He said it slowly, deliberately.

I needed to hear it one more time. I was hallucinating. The loss of blood.
That was it.  "What did you say?"

"Galen, I want you to live with me."

But, but, I just couldn't take advantage of him like that. "I can't! I
won't be your charity case. You have the money but that does not mean I'll
take a free ride off of you."

"Pay me what you would to rent out a dorm room for a semester. Actually
less. You will be far away from the University. Don't worry. It won't be
charity.  Just...live with me.  We won't have to hide anymore. We could be
together Galen, you and I."

I can't explain to you how appealing the offer was at that moment. So, you
can understand, all I could say was, "OK."

My life was about to change. When would this roller coaster ride end? I was
taking another plunge. I hoped I had the strength after all this to hang
on.  Barely...

				    ***

My Christmas was ruined. After waiting 2 hours in Emergency, I still
couldn't figure out why they would call it "Emergency" and you won't
believe the number of burn victims that came in. Christmas Dinner cooking.

"On the first day of Christmas, my 'true' friend gave me to me, six
stit-ches for a bus-ted lip...la la la la..."

My annoying relatives came over for Christmas dinner and the "Grand
Inquisition" began. They all knew Kenny and his family so they knew that we
were really close. So, the questions were inevitable. My uncles, aunts, and
especially my Nana. She loved Kenny.

Why did you and Kenny get into a fight? What happened? Can you tell me how
I can mind my own goddamned binniz?

I tell you: FUN! FUN! FUN! Liquids for Christmas dinner. Oh yeah!

I also got some stupid, can't-use, don't-fucking-want, shit from my
parents, and some art materials from Cat and Fiona.

Owen came up to me with a sly grin on his face. He thrust a wrapped gift
into my hands, "For you, squirt. Merry Christmas." I was shocked into the
next orbit.

What the hell?

I opened it and it was Aidan's old football. I looked up at him. He was
pure evil. He meant the gift to hurt and it did. Not only did he know that
I refused to play football, further evidence that I'm a "sissy", but that
like Aidan, my fate in the family would be the same.

Vicious. Owen was a vicious bastard.

He was waiting to see the hurt on my face. That would be his Christmas gift
from me. No more. I was tired of taking bullshit from everyone around
me. And I was tired of waiting for others to fight my battles.

I smiled the sweetest smile at him and came right up to his face and gutted
him with the ball and holding it uncomfortably tight against his stomach, I
whispered into his ear, "I am going to shove this motherfucking ball so far
up your ass that it will come out of that nasty mouth of yours. So, next
time, I suggest you think twice before you try to piss a sissy like me off
again. I might just fight back."

With that, I kicked him hard in the balls and saw him double over. My aunt
was coming out of the hallway washroom and so all Owen could do was hold
his family jewels while moaning and groaning.

OK, so my Christmas was looking a little better after all.

I also watched next door and saw Kenny leave for somewhere. I took that
moment to go next door and wish Mama Brien a "Merry Christmas" and gave her
a present. I couldn't believe she bore such a child as Kenny...well, I
guess I should believe it, considering my parents and me.

She knew Kenny and I were in a fight, but she let it pass. She apologized
on behalf of Kenny for the broken lip and threatened to give him one
herself. No, Mama Brien. Not this time. I knew she thought we would work
out our differences like we always had. At max, a month or two of not
speaking to each other, and then we would be back to normal.  If only she
knew the truth. This was not any old fight. I just wished that I didn't
have to feel awkward now around Mama Brien. She was such an important
person in my life. I wondered if SHE would accept me if I told her I was
gay? I might not have to wonder too long. I knew that before too long,
Kenny would spread the word about me to everyone. I guess I would deal with
that when the time came.

				    ***

My parents didn't take it too well; me living with a strange boy they have
never met. But, they couldn't do much about it. I was moving and that was
that. My dad figured that Kenny was probably sick of my pansy ass and asked
me to leave. He didn't know how right he was.

I left for University early, so that I could pack up and move out before
Kenny arrived. I left two days early and after all the bullshit with the
University paperwork, I was standing in my room in Rez, the last box just
taped and ready to be taken down to the van that Thane rented for my
move. He was waiting for me downstairs. I was glad. I needed time alone
before I left.

I looked across from me to Kenny's side. All his basketball pictures, his
autographed basketball, the picture of him and his mom, the empty beer
bottles all along his top shelf, his unmade bed, some posters of scantily
clad women, of cars, pic with him and a bunch of girls squeezing him
between their titties, and then finally, a pic of him and; it was the day
of our high school graduation. We were all GQ'd out in our suits, but we
were making funny faces at the camera. Memories, that's all that I was
willing to take of Kenny's. Memories of a time long ago, when I could never
fathom that a day would come that would tear us apart.

				    ***

Us, 10 and 11 years old, sitting in his tree-house in the middle of the
night. We had sneaked out of his room on the second floor via the oak tree
near his window. It was a custom for our sleepovers. He had sneaked a
couple of cigarettes from his dad. We were so excited. It would be our
first time. Our first time smoking.

In the dark of the night, with only the full moon's glow, Kenny had looked
like a God.  He was my God then. Everything I wanted to be. He was always
one step ahead of me, but, willing to teach me the ways of the world, his
world. I would do anything had he asked. All he had to do was be my
friend. Hell, he dared me to jump from the tree-house once, and I did. I
broke my leg and got stitches on my gum to show for that stupidity.  Still,
I was not mad. I would have done it, again and again, just for him.

He lit one up and the orange glow from the cigarette dangling from his lips
with the thin white smoke coming out made him look ethereal. He puffed
it. I could see his face turning red, but he refused to cough. His eyes
watered, yet, he still refused to cough.

After his attack subsided, he passed it to me. I took one puff and went
into a fit of coughs.  Kenny tried desperately to pat my back and then gave
me some water from the water bottle. I was sipping it, and then I became
very aware of his hand, gently stroking my back, around and around, in
circles. I pretended to drink and cough, hoping he would continue.

I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. He was staring out the window of
the tree- house, looking at the moon, smoking the cigarette. He had already
gotten the hang of it before me. As usual.

The stroking continued. He was unaware of his stroking, but I wasn't going
to make him aware. I liked it. I liked how it made me feel. It made me go
all hot and I started to sweat.  I felt hot all over, very hot, especially
down there. My dick was hot. And it was hard.  I was so afraid. I knew it
was wrong. Only girls were supposed to make me feel like this.  I've never
felt this before. I've heard about it from my brothers, they called it a
"boner", a "hard-on", but this was my first time popping one because I was
excited, and excited by a boy, and it was wrong, and I knew that, and it
was Kenny...and...and... It was BECAUSE of Kenny.

I was so confused and so damn scared.

I kept on glancing at him while willing my hard-on to subside. I tried to
press it down with my hand. It got more excited like it wanted to come out
and play. What the hell did I know back then about stimulation?

I again looked at Kenny, hoping he had not noticed. I was wearing my flimsy
cotton PJs.  He was lost in the moon's light, still caressing my back,
completely unaware of his actions. I was lost in him.

We were sitting so close so we could share the small pillows used as
cushions, and not have to sit on the hard wood that sometimes gave
splinters. The white light from the moon lit up his face, and his eyes had
turned deep blue, like that of the night sky, midnight blue.

I followed his gaze and looked up at the sky. It was a perfect summer's
night. Crickets chirped and a gentle breeze danced our way every so
often. The smell of the grass, our boy sweat, mingled with a hint of
Kenny's soap and peppermint (he always smelt like peppermint) and another
smell, the smell of innocence. The stars were twinkling and I had made a
wish then, "Please let me kiss Kenny, here, now."

It never happened of course. Kenny stopped his stroking and mumbled a
"sorry" under his breath and took his hand away.  I was hit with such a
force of longing, of loss. I pleaded with him subconsciously to put his
hand back.

He never did.

We stayed up smoking and talking. He talked about building a city on the
moon. I talked about painting it. We were growing up then - setting our
destinies, on that hot summer's night, but neither of us really knew
it. From that day on, each of our lives was set. We both had somehow
realized who and what we were to become. One was embracing it; the other
was fearing it.

				    ***

"Galen? You almost done?" Thane's quiet voice brought me back to the
present.  I shook myself from my thoughts. It was too eerie. It sent
shivers up and down my spine.  That was the closest I had ever gotten to
Kenny ... intimately (at least, before our "kiss").  Such a simple moment,
but it had held promise for me. I can't keep count of the number of times I
used that night, the scenario, as my jack-off fantasy, always changing the
ending.

It's funny, when we got older, he never did like smoking and I was the one
addicted.  Apparently, it didn't give Kenny a definite high like drugs and
alcohol.

I took one last look around, breathed in one last scent of the room. There
was a hint of Kenny still lingering in the air.

I took a paper from his desk and wrote him a note. My last communication
with him.

Kenny,

As you can figure out, being in Engineering and all, I have moved out. I'm
sure, again, because you are in Engineering, you can guess where I am.

Galen

P.S. Thanks for setting our friendship straight.

Thane looked at the note over my shoulder and smiled. "You are a sarcastic
son of a bitch. Att-I-TUDE!"

I had to do one last thing. I took the picture of Kenny and me out of the
frame, tore it up and placed it on top of the note. I suddenly felt
overwhelmed by indescribable hurt and anger. I took the photo frame and
threw it against the wall on Kenny's side.  The glass crashed to the
floor. Thane jumped back, clearly scared of my lack of sanity. I laughed.
"Now, I'm done. Let's go."

Melodramatic? Maybe...but, he chose to hate me because I am gay. I'm not
going to run back to him after that. I do have SOME pride left.

				    ***

Author's endnote: Ok, guys, a lot of shit has been happening. My exams,
moving, etc..and finally..

I got a virus in an email.and well...the story is completely gone from my
computer.  Erased. I had written the whole thing three months back. All of
it. All the 150 pages of it.  All 25 Chapters. There is no way I can
reproduce it. No way at all.

So, it just so happened that my editor is leaving for vacation so he had
received up to Chapter 16 from me to edit so that there was no real lag
time for you readers (very considerate of him).and that's how much of
"That's Life" I have.

I will put the story out `till Chapter 16.and then, it's over. I'm so
sorry..

The story will remain uncompleted. I will not give away the ending that I
had because it needs to be revealed through the writing and not just simply
given away and since the writing is gone.well.

Thanks to all those who stuck by me, especially my ol' faithfuls.I really
don't know the words to properly thank you all.

With that said, I guess there's irony in here somehwere, eh? That's life.

As Porky the Pig would say, "Th-th-th-th-that's All Folks!!"