Date: Thu, 06 Jun 2002 23:23:02 -0400
From: W. E. <wereallmadhere@hotmail.com>
Subject: That's life (chapter 7) section: college

Author's note:

Here I am again. Thanks to those who emailed.

Email me if you like my story. Gives me motivation. My email
is: wereallmadhere@hotmail.com

Again, to Jay Alexander (my editor), thanks for all the help
and encouragement. Especially with this chapter.

If you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading
such "filth", please leave. This material contains crude
language (gosh!), and homosexuality (oh my!), so if you are
offended, then, yes....goodbye!

This story is purely fictional. So, any similarity to anyone
or anything is purely coincidental.

All righty then...moving along...

CHAPTER 7

We were at the restaurant. It was very elegant. The
decorations were all in deep, blood red with gold. Quite
exotic. We had our own booth that was secluded from the
rest. I hoped people around us saw us as two business
colleagues eating out, and nothing more.

The food was great. He even taught me how to use chopsticks.

"You are so refined," I commented.

"The chopsticks you mean? Actually, it's the opposite in
oriental culture. Way back when, only the poor used
chopsticks that they cut from bamboo, the lower class. Now,
it's all the craze."

"Goes to show you, things change constantly. In the blink of
an eye, we, the gay population could be the 'norm' and the
straight would have to hide in the closet." I laughed at my
own analogy.

"Don't mock it. It just might happen," he said.

"Ah...if only."

"You mocking me, Mr. Walsh?"

We both laughed. It was so easy being with Thane. He was so
sure about himself, his life, his identity. He was so
mature, being 21 and all. It made me envious, yet also,
determined to change, be more like him.

                              ***

The weekend went by in a blur. We were in bed most of the
time, but I still had many shortcomings. Thane tried to suck
me off once and I froze like a deer caught in a headlight,
and that was the end of that. He was patient with me, but I
felt that the patience might be wearing thin. I tried to
make a conscious effort to be more open, but it was hard.

Monday came and during the week, school took up a good part
of the days. I checked my messages, but no news from Kenny.
I felt guilty for not being there for him and as days went
by and we were nearing the end of the week, I felt more and
more agitated and angry, rather than guilty. There was still
no news from Kenny. What the hell? He didn't think I would
care to know how Mama Brien was doing? It's one thing to be
mad, and then another to maliciously hurt me, and that's
what he was doing. So Kenny, so juvenile, so unlike Thane.

I came back to Thane's apartment on that Thursday evening
(he had given me a key). He wasn't home yet. I felt like
doing something for him to show my gratitude. I went grocery
shopping, cleaned up the apartment (and made sure everything
was in its right order..Thane was anal about that) and
prepared a meal for him that would blow his mind (hopefully)
and then I had one final surprise for him, but that was for
the end, the grand finale.

I had just finished setting the table when I heard the key
turning in the lock. Thane was home. I was so nervous. I
hoped he liked my surprise. When he rounded the corner and
saw the table and me, he just dropped his schoolbag to the
floor and stared.

"Surprise?" He was not responding.

"Thane," I tried again.

"You...you did all this for me?" He asked, amazed.

"Do you like it?" I saw him approaching me.

"Like it, I...I love it!" He took my head in his hands and
kissed me. "Thank you."

"Ok, well, freshen up and we'll start then." And with that I
pushed him towards our, I mean, his bedroom.

The dinner was fantastic. He kept praising and praising me
until I told him to shut the hell up and just enjoy. We got
to know more about each other, but I must admit, he again
did more of the revealing. Whenever anything got remotely
too serious about me, I veered off topic. After the third
time, he got the hint and just stayed off the topic of
"Galen Walsh" for good.

We drank wine on the balcony, and it was bittersweet. We
were in our own paradise and we knew it wouldn't last long,
reality would inevitable come knocking to be let in.

"Thane, I want to thank you for everything, and I mean
everything."

He came to me and put his finger on my lips, "Shh...there are
no formalities between us."

Fuck the formalities.

I sucked his finger in, and replaying the first night at his
apartment, I rolled my tongue around as he had done for me.
I looked up at him.

He was smiling. "Returning the favour?"

"And much more." With that, I led him into the bedroom and
sat down on the bed while he stood in front of me, waiting.
Letting me take the initiative. I was ready and I slowly
started to disrobe him. It was such a pleasure, like
unwrapping a gift, as more and more of Thane was exposed to
me. I kissed each discovery and with a final tug, Thane was
there. Standing in front of me, naked, strong and, oh so
beautiful. Damn straight (pun intended)!

His dick was at attention, the head red, throbbing and
dripping, letting me know that was his identity, he was a
man, my man. I looked up at him. He had a look of wonder and
pure lust in his eyes, daring me, yet not believing that I
would.that I could.

I proved him wrong.

"Shiiiiiiiiittttttttt...." He screamed as my mouth engulfed
him. "Oh Galen, ohhh fuck!!!!!!"

I sucked him like my life depended on it. I couldn't get him
all in, hell, it was my first time, first time sucking,
sucking cock. Cocksucker. I realized with a thundering
finality: I, Galen Walsh, a Catholic, was a cocksucker.

I stopped.

"Galen, you ok? Babe?" Thane asked, stroking my hair.

"This one is for you, Daddy dearest," I thought, and delved
in. He tasted so sweet, so pure. I couldn't fathom what was
so disgusting about it. I sucked and sucked as tears ran
down my face. I didn't care. I was sucking a cock, and I
loved it. There was no turning back, not now, not when I
felt Thane expand in my mouth. He was going to climax.

"Galen, I am going to explode. Galen!" I know why he said
it, to give me a chance to stop. Fuck that, there was no way
I was just going to taste a tiny morsel of the forbidden
fruit, I was going to eat the whole fucking thing, and enjoy
it.

I closed my mouth around him as tightly as I could. His cock
pulsed in sync with my heartbeat.  It was so intimate. We
were connected. He exploded and I felt the juice, his juice,
fill my mouth, some dripping down my chin. Thane was too
exhausted. He slumped to the floor and I was left to face
the mirror opposite me on the wall. There was this boy/man
with brown disheveled hair, freckles on his face and
haunting hazel eyes, so much sorrow, so much pain, staring
back at me. Cum dripping down his chin. Tears streaming down
his face. He was lost. I couldn't find him, even if I tried.

Thane came beside me, planting feather kisses all over my
face and then finally licking the cum off my chin. "Thank
you. I know how hard it was for you."

"Nah, piece of cake, and delicious at that." I smiled at him
and looked down at the floor. I didn't know what I was
supposed to be feeling right then.

He kissed me again. "So, you liked it, huh?"

I nodded, feeling paralyzed, but not even really
comprehending anything of what he was saying. My hand, as if
with a mind of it's own, went to my face to wipe the tears
that continued to fall. I didn't even noticed, until my hand
came away wet.

"Galen, please, stop it. Please. Talk to me. You are crying.
Please!" He begged. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"What's wrong Thane?"

"You. You are crying!"

"Oh." I touched my face again.

"That's it? Oh? Why are you crying?!"

I shrugged my shoulder. "I don't know."

"You don't know or you don't want to tell me?"

"Wha...?"

Thane burst then; ignited by frustration I am sure, "Dammit!
Stop it! Stop closing up. I see you hurting and I try to
help, but you get defensive, and then I decide to give you
space and you hurt alone. I don't know why you hurt and I
don't know how to help you - all I know is that you hurt,
and that you won't let me in.  Why? Do you not trust me?"

"It's not that easy Thane. You had balls, or whatever it
took. You stood up to your father. You took your identity in
your own hands. I can't. You are the only one in this whole
fucking world who knows I am gay. I cannot. I will NOT be
able to parade around with a fucking rainbow flag just
`cause you want that of me. I'm sorry. I can't!" I was
panting. I was so drained. All of a sudden, I was tired,
tired of everything, my life, the whole charade, everything.

"I am a cocksucker." I whispered.

"Yes, you are. And there is nothing wrong with that. Did you
not enjoy it? Why is it wrong then?" He asked, vehemently.

"If a murderer finds pleasure in his kill..." I couldn't
finish. Even as it left my mouth, those words sounded so
vile, so wrong. I was so ashamed. "I'm sorry Thane.I didn't
mean."

"Galen," Thane took my chin in his strong fingers and forced
me to turn to him, "I am not asking you to shout it from the
rooftops. Just, talk to me. Tell me what is bothering you.
You can trust me. You can even trust Hannah. She knows about
me, did you know that? And about Gina. She's totally cool.
She's so supportive. Just trust her. Tell Hannah. See the
weight lift off your chest. Just take a chance. The rest
will be easier, first step is the hardest."

"Thane, I cannot. You don't know me. My father.hell, I have
five siblings `cause my parents don't believe in birth
control. And abortion? Forget that. Did you know that my
older sister, Catrina, got an abortion when she was only
sixteen? There was no way she could have a baby out of
wedlock, so she had an abortion. No one was to know but
Kenny found out, being part of the popular crew back in
highschool and therefore knowing all the gossip. Cat
couldn't even tell my parents. After that, she changed. She
would scream in the middle of the night. I know she had
nightmares. She has been on anti-depressants now for four
years. I couldn't even go to her and tell her how sorry I
was. We're not like that. Everything is hush-hush. So,
imagine me being gay. I can't. I can't!" I was crying again.

Why can I not go one day without the fucking waterworks? I
was such a sissy. Ever since I was little, my dad and mom
preached to us about the "ways of the lord and how to be a
good Catholic" and one of the biggest NO-NO was
homosexuality. My dad fucking thinks homos should be burnt
at the cross and redeemed for their sins. And I was to come
out to them? RIGHT!

Thane sighed. I could feel his hopelessness, his
frustration, but his was a mere fraction of what I had to
live with all my life. I kissed him. I understood. He
couldn't take my pain away. Only I could do that and I
hadn't the slightest clue how.

"Thane, I need to leave tomorrow morning."

"What? Where are you going?"

"Back home. I have to go see how Kenny's mom is doing.
Otherwise, I can't live with myself. She was more a mother
to me than my own. Sorry."

"That's ok.I understand. When will you be back?"

"Sunday night."

"I guess then today is it?"

"Ya..Thane, I want you to know, regardless of all this,
there were times when you helped me escape, when I was able
to be me. And you don't know how much I cherish that. I hope
you can still be patient with me."

"You're not getting rid of me that fast! Now.for a matter of
settling the scores.," Thane smirked as his hands worked
their way into undoing the buttons of my shirt. He took one
of my nipples into his mouth and bit into it. Fuck! I was
instantly hard. I moaned as he started suckling on the
nipple. Then, my pants soon followed as well as the rest of
my clothing. I was so nervous. I thought I would burst right
then and there.

Thane kissed me all over my body. Not a single bit of flesh
remained untouched by his lips. Finally, when I couldn't
take it anymore and I was writhing on the bed, I felt it.
His hot lips surrounding my cock. I fucking shot my load
right then and there.

"Ooooooooohhhhhhhh fuckkkkkkkkk...." That was me.

His tongue did things to my cock that I thought were not
humanly possible. I swear to fucking God, I saw the stars,
the moon, the galaxy, fucking everything. My fingers gripped
the bed sheets so hard, I felt as if at any moment my
fingers would snap. I would snap.

Just when I thought I couldn't bear any more, Thane stopped.
I begged and moaned for him to cover me again. I felt so
empty and hollow, like at the edge of a cliff and just made
to dangle there. I wanted him to push me, push me over the
fucking edge..so that I could fly, so that I could soar.

"Thane...Thaneeeeeeeee.please!" I begged. Then I felt him
lick my head again and blow air on it. I shivered all the
way down to my toes. This was torture. Time stopped.

My heartbeat thundered in my ears.

Finally...he took me into his mouth again.

SHIT!

My back arched off the bed, and I came, again and again,
until there was nothing left of me to give, and nothing left
for him to take.

I fell with a loud thud, back onto the bed. My life drained
out of me. That was motherfucking INTENSE. I can't even
wholly describe it.

And I did that for Thane earlier? I made him feel like that?
Wow. If we could make each other reach such heights of
pleasure, how can it be wrong? How could God create us with
these abilities and want to hinder them? It's like creating
an eagle with wings and forbidding it to fly.

I could wrestle the demons of my inner-self  all night long.
And then some. It was futile. I curled into Thane and went
to sleep, making sure that I drifted off with the moments of
pleasure I felt today etched into my memory.


                                ***

I felt my cock expanding and responding to the warm wetness
it felt. What the hell? I looked down and there was Thane,
giving me a blowjob. If only my alarm clock was equipped
with such device, I would never sleep in. Damn! Boy knew how
to use that pretty little mouth of his. I felt rejuvenated.
I was going to see Mama Brien. I was going to support Kenny.
I was no longer a virgin and my boyfriend was sucking me as
we speak. Can life get any better?

Damn straight it can! And that is when I exploded. Well
then...

I got up and tackled Thane. I felt so much for this dude. I
couldn't express it yet. I kissed him. Ewww. Morning breath.
He saw me scrunch up my face and laughed.

"Ok..ok.we'll go brush our teeth, but you better get your
ass moving. Your train leaves in two hours. Hurry!" And with
that he slapped my ass and ran for the washroom.

An hour later, we were cruising in his Porsche 9-11 (I will
never get tired of riding in it) and trying to get to the
train station on time. We were going 20 klicks over limit.
Fuck, we were late. You see, we were somewhat "detained"
back at his apartment. Come on...I had to return the
favour...and then he returned my favour again....and then, I
returned it again....aw hell, we were late!

At the train station, after I loaded my bags I came down and
felt the iron weight back on my shoulder. I think I'm
bipolar. I change from up to down so fast, it would make
anyone's head spin. Now I was so depressed. Going back to my
hometown meant facing my parents, facing Kenny, Mama Brien
lying there in that hospital bed. I never did like
hospitals. I sighed.

"Babe, I'll see you on Monday. Hang in there." Thane
whispered to me, forcing a smile on his face.

I knew how he felt. I didn't want to leave him. It was so
wonderful, the whole week. We had our up and downs and the
downs were pretty dramatic, but he never gave up on me. I
knew my shell was starting to crack, and it was because of
him.

"Thank you." I couldn't say what I really felt inside. I
don't think he was ready for that yet. I don't think I was
ready yet.

"Bring me a souvenir." Thane chuckled.

"I will, bye." I hugged him. And I left, back into the
train. I watched him from the window. He stood until the
train started to move. It was so classic Hollywood. I wished
I was wearing a scarf that I could throw at him as the train
started moving. At that thought, I laughed. The man sitting
across from me looked at me funny. "Fuck you, and your toupee
too," I thought.

As Thane became nothing more than a dot amongst the blur, I
turned and sighed. I was ready. I was going home, a changed
man. I was not the Galen that left to come to University,
nor the one that Kenny left that dismal Friday. I wondered
if anyone would notice.

                                   ***