Date: Thu, 04 Jan 2007 04:52:17 -0500
From: X X <thewriter_x@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Brotherhood #10 {X} {MM College & Sci-Fi/Fantasy} [10!?]
The following story contains sexually explicit acts between men. If such
things bother you, annoy you, disturb you, or frighten you, then why the
hell are you here? Do yourself a favor and leave before you read something
you like and discover that you're actually gay; you might not be able to
deal with the revelation.
***Note to Reader***
Hey all it's me again. Your favorite absentee writer is back. Again, I
want to thank everyone for being so patient with me. I started a yahoo
group for TBH a while back.
It's place where you can get the latest chapters and talk about the story
with other readers if you like. As thanks to those who are signed up, I'll
be keeping the group one chapter ahead of Nifty. So while Nifty has up to
chapter 10 the group is up to chapter 11. So if you want to keep up just
sign up here:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theinnercircletbh/
As always, thanks for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts, good or
bad, on the latest chapter so feel free to write me at:
thewriterxx@aol.com
The Brotherhood
Chapter X
I felt at peace; lost in a dream long forgotten. I didn't want to
leave - like a frightened child in the embrace of a comforting mother, I
wanted the moment to last forever. The scary part was I knew I was
sleeping, and yet I would've surrendered my life to the world of dreams
rather than face reality. I felt safe here. I felt at home. What was so
special about this dream that made it feel so blissful? Was it a flicker
of a childhood memory I'd so desperately been hoping for? If only I could
remember it.
No matter how hard I tried to fight it, my eyes cracked open. As my
vision slowly cleared, I found myself back in my room at the TBH house.
For a moment, I wondered how the hell I got there. Then, I scolded myself -
why the fuck did I even care? Obviously the Brother's had something to do
with it and it wasn't like they were going to post it on the bulletin
board. I closed my eyes for a moment hoping in vain I'd fall back asleep.
I figured if there wasn't a Brother barking at the door for us to get up,
why not get a few more "Z's" in? Especially if it meant I might find
myself back in that safe place.
No such luck.
"Hey, I saw you open your eyes." Arsen's voice was unmistakable. His
tone always gentle, like that of a caring brother looking out for you.
"Don't even think about going back to sleep. We have to get up."
"I'm up." I was groggy as hell and from the way Arsen snickered at my
slurred speech; I could tell it was obvious. Begrudgingly, I opened my
eyes for a second time, knowing full well it was going to be a permanent
condition. Slowly, I blinked the final vestiges of sleep from my eyes
hoping to bring the room into focus. Beside me, a blurry Arsen slipped out
of bed and into his pants.
"Isn't it a little early in the day to be this eager?"
He turned towards the bed, made a few minor, yet necessary `male
adjustments' then hovered over me. I could tell he was shocked.
"It's almost noon. And seriously, you don't remember?"
Okay, clearly I was supposed to know what was going on, but I was
fucking lost. Arsen didn't seem to care. He grabbed my jeans from our
dresser, threw them at my face and laughed when I was caught off guard.
"Arsen, what in the hell are you talking about?" Like a lost puppy, I
simply followed Arsen's lead and put on my jeans. "Why am I getting
dressed?"
He laughed, but in that surprised kind of way. "You mean Q didn't
tell you?"
I just looked at him as if to say, `Fucker just tell me already!'
"Today is `The Day of Bonding.'" Arsen paused for a moment waiting to
see the light bulb go off over my head. He got nothing. My bulb was
either burnt out or broken. "You know, the day where the Brother's make it
all about the pledges?"
I jumped up a little and pointed at him, "Ohhh right!"
"Now you remember?" he asked.
"Not a fucking clue. Please feel free to fill me in anytime."
Arsen slapped the side of my head, "You ass! It's the day they treat
us to pretty much everything and anything."
"Can you pass me my shirt?" While he turned toward the dresser again,
I grabbed his shirt off the bed and slipped it on quick; it was the same
shirt, same difference. "What do you mean by treat us?"
He tossed me my shirt without even realizing what I had done so I
threw it back. "No thanks I'm all set."
"Ugh.you're so going to get hurt you know this right?"
I shrugged and winked at him. "So we're getting treated to what
exactly?"
"Well according to Shaun, tonight we spend the evening bonding with
our Bigs. They cook dinner, each one individually, and no cheating - no
ordering it in or getting someone else to do it - they have to prepare it
with there own two hands."
I smirked at the thought. "Nice."
"It gets better! Then it's off on a shopping spree - whatever we want
- and finally everyone will meet up at a club or something."
"Anything we want?" I couldn't hide my devilish grin even if I tried.
"I'm thinking Lexus."
"Ok, slow you're roll," Arsen laughed. "Talk about wishful thinking.
I'm guessing more like a couple of DVD's and a soda."
"Yeah, probably," I agreed.
"I'm surprised Q didn't you fill you in. All the other pledges seemed
to know about it, it was all the talk last night. Unless you got so drunk
last night you don't remember."
"Hardly." I rolled my eyes, remembering Q's brush off, "Q and I
didn't talk much last night. Actually, we didn't say one word to each
other."
Arsen's brow drew together in confusion and I wanted to tell him to
join the club. "Why is that?"
"You'd have to ask him."
"Okay," Arsen kind of swirled his hands between us, "Am I sensing Big
and Little issues here or is it just me?"
All I could do was shrug. "I don't know."
"Well, at least he was there to stop the guy with the knife. I still
can't believe that shit. I mean who pulls a knife out now a days? That's
so 90s. If you're going to start something at least have the decency to
pull a gun. I mean really.is that too much to ask?"
Was he out of his mind? "You're fucking kidding me, right?"
"Of course I am," he laughed, whipping me with my own shirt. "I'm
just glad Q was there," his voice softened a bit, "and you're okay."
"Ditto."
Our eyes fixed on each other and I could see how genuine his concern
was for me. I got that warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. The one you
get when you realize someone actually cares about you that much -
especially Arsen. And don't take that the wrong way. I just mean 6 weeks
ago we were strangers who couldn't care less about each other. Now we were
like brothers. Honestly.it felt special.
The moment grew awkward, as these moments often do. So we did the
only thing we could - we looked away with cheesy grins and scolded
ourselves mentally for acting like a bunch of girls.
"So what happened with Alex?"
Ugh, Alex. That's one memory I could do without. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know," Arsen shrugged as he slipped his shirt over his head.
"One minute you guys are going up stairs to get your freak on, and the next
time I see her she looks pissed as hell."
I laughed, probably shouldn't have. "It wouldn't be Alex if she
didn't make a scene."
"What happened?"
I shrugged. "We went upstairs and she wanted to get her `freak on' as
you so eloquently put it, but I wasn't trying to hear it."
"Say what?" Arsen looked dumb struck. "You mean your girl was up in
your room on the one night you were free to do anything and you didn't hit
that?"
I simply shook my head.
Arsen's eyes were like daggers, piercing me as if I'd just confessed
to murder one or some shit. "Are you out of your mind?" he punched me
playfully in the arm. "Have you seen how hot Alex is? And we're not just
talking face.she's got the body to back it up. Seriously, you didn't tap
that ass?"
Again, I could only shake my head.
"Fuck! No disrespect or anything, but I would've banged the shit out
of her.twice!" He dropped down next to me with his mouth gapping open. "I
just don't know what to say. If anyone was going to get laid last night,
my money was on you." He draped his arm over my shoulder and pulled me
close. "You, my friend, need to be studied."
"Oh, shut up already! You make it sound like I passed up a 100
million dollars or something."
"Might as well!" he slapped the back of my head. "Why didn't you?"
"I don't know. I really wanted to.at first anyway, but then I
couldn't go thru with it."
"Why?"
"Beats me," I lied. I knew exactly why I couldn't go thru with it,
but I wasn't about to come clean about it. I felt bad lying to Arsen, but
believe me, I got over it pretty damn quick. "Anyway, enough about me. What
about you?"
"What about me?"
"Did you hook up with anyone last night?"
"Nah," he shook his head and got up from the bed.
"And you have the nerve to rag on me."
"There's a big difference here, Jacob. I wasn't alone in my room with
a girl begging' to get her freak on. You were."
"Still. I saw you getting plenty of looks at the party. You had your
pick of girls and you know it. Instead you're here ragging on me."
"Not the same buddy. Picking up some ho' at a party willing to drop
her pants for the first guy who takes her upstairs is not really my style."
"Hmm."
"`Hmm' what?"
I snickered. "Nothing. It's just you don't run into many guys who
think like that; most will bang anything that moves. Hey, speaking of
banging.or not banging, or whatever. Do you know what happened to Alex? I
didn't see her for the rest of the night."
The moment the question left my lips, Arsen got weird and quickly
tried to change the subject. "We should really line up outside before the
Brothers show up." He stood up and tried to edge his way out of the room.
Yeah, like I was going to let it go after that.
I quickly got up, grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back into the
room. "Oh no you don't! What's your deal? Why are you acting strange all
of a sudden?" Arsen turned away from me, as if afraid to make eye contact.
I pushed further.
"Does this have something to do with Alex?"
"Look, I didn't want to say anything, but.okay, just don't get upset
and go crazy on me." His voice was calm and soothing; he even put his hand
on my shoulder to comfort me. The problem was I had no fucking clue as to
why.
"Arsen, buddy, just tell me what it is you're trying so hard not to
tell me. I'm not going to get mad and I'm not going to go crazy on you. I
promise."
"Okay, I." The boy broke off before he even got started.
Now I was just annoyed. What could be so horrible that it would
demand this kind of drama? I finally had to grab him by the chin and
forced him to look at me. "Damn it, just tell me!"
"See, you're already getting mad.and you wonder why I don't want to
tell you."
"Dumbass, that's because you're not talking! What do you expect me to
do? Dance? Now cut the bullshit and spill it before I really."
"I saw Alex with Mike," he blurred it out.
"What?" I felt my knees buckle.
"I saw Alex with Mike."
"Mike who?"
He looked at me like I was nuts. "What do you mean Mike who? Mike
Mike!"
"Mike? As in our pledge brother, Mike?"
Arsen nodded.
"With Alex?"
He nodded again. I thought I was going to be sick.
"Alex who?"
"Oh my god! Are we really going to do this again? Your Alex, you
fool!"
I was livid! Images of those two intertwined, making out in some dark
corner consumed me. Before Arsen could offer any more details, I bolted
for the door - but not as fast as Arsen. He jumped in front of me and
blocked the way.
"Whoa there, killer! You said you weren't going to get pissed."
"I lied. Now move!" I tried to get around him, but he stood his
ground.
"Back up!" Arsen pushed me back gently with a closed fist, "I'm not
going to let you do something stupid. Do you hear me? If you want to act
like a fool, you'll have to go thru me to do it. Now do you really want to
go there? I don't."
His ultimatum snapped me back to my senses. There was no way in hell
I was going to raise a hand to Arsen. So I stopped. Not out of fear, but
out of respected for him.
"Just chill for a minute and let me finish before you go all Rambo. I
saw them talking.that's it."
I backed away from him and sat back down on the bed, my eyes fixed on
his face. Honestly, my mind was going in a million directions, none of
which were focused. "That's it.just talking?"
"That's it," he said with a nod.
"What were they talking about?"
"Well, I don't know," he laughed. "I was half way across the room and
unfortunately I left my super hearing in my other pants."
I smiled at my own stupidity. "Okay, okay. Any idea how long they
talked?"
He shrugged. "Honestly, I couldn't tell you. I noticed them when
came up from the basement to get a drink. I was up there for maybe 5
minutes, but then Shaun dragged me out of the room. By the time I got
back, they were both gone."
That little tidbit was disturbing. "You don't think they."
"No fucking way, dude! Sure Mike can be an ass, but I doubt he'd sink
that low. Besides I don't think he even knew Alex was your girl."
"Exactly!" I damn near yelled.
"Hey, it doesn't matter if he knew or not because Alex wouldn't cheat
on you.would she?"
I really couldn't answer that; all I could offer was a meek shrug.
Alex was crazy enough to do anything to get back at me if I pissed her off
enough. I'd learned this the hard way.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Arsen prodded. "You don't trust her?"
I snickered a bit. "You don't know Alex. She can be best thing to
ever happen to a guy or she can be the devil in stilettos."
"Really?" he said tossing an eyebrow up as he looked at me. "This is
none of my business, so please feel free to tell me to shut the fuck up,
but why are you with this girl?"
"I guess it was just the natural order of things back in high school.
I mean she was hottest girl in school. The most popular, head
cheerleader.'
"And let me guess," Arsen interrupted, "you were the hottest, most
popular jock in school, captain of whatever sport you played, the guy."
"Basically," I returned the favor and cut him off. "So it just seemed
natural that we'd end up together.
"Do you love her?"
I said nothing.
"Okay, the fact that you have to think about it tells me there are
issues."
"Yeah, I.love.her, I guess."
"Wow Mr. Denial," he laughed. "Are you trying to convince me or
yourself?"
"Look, right now is not the best time to be asking me if I love
anyone. It's not that simple."
"Uh, yeah it is," he pushed. "It's a yes or no answer - without
hesitation mind you. It IS that simple. There is no in-between.no gray
area when it comes to loving someone."
"Things are different now," I insisted. "There are other factors
involved you don't know about."
"Like what?"
"This conversation is over." I got up and headed for the door.
Arsen was quick to grab my arm. "Jacob."
"Look, you said I could tell you to mind your own business right?"
"Yeah."
"Well consider yourself told."
He released me instantly and threw his hands up as if I was on fire.
"Fine.it's your life, not mine. I'm just trying to help."
And just as quickly I felt like a complete asshole for talking to him
like that. I turned to face him. I felt horrible. "Arsen I'm."
"It's cool. You don't have to say anything and you don't have to
apologize. I get it. You have things on your mind that you need to work
thru. Just know that if.when. you need to talk to someone, I'm here."
"Thanks bro," I smiled and pulled him into a big ass brotherly hug.
He grabbed me and gently pushed me towards the door. "Come on, let's
roll."
That's when I realized how lucky I was to have Arsen for a pledge
brother. I could've ended up someone like Mike. Speaking of the dumbass,
the second I stepped out of my room, his voice pierced thru me like a
knife. I only caught a piece of the conversation, but it was more than
enough.
".if a guy can't take care of his girl, I'm more than happy to step up to
the plate."
In an instant, all the hard work Arsen put into calming me down was
lost. My mind was ablaze with images of Mike throwing Alex down on my bed
at home and humping the shit out of her. Why back home? I have no idea
but that's where I took it. It didn't help that Mike had amassed a crowd -
Xavier, Kevin and Sam surrounded him like hungry wolves, eagerly devouring
each juicy detail.
The pack must have sensed my entry into the hall, for they all turned
to face me at once - and laughed.
Arsen clearly felt my blood pressure shoot thru the roof. He grabbed
my arm and pulled me back to our door. "Forget about it," he whispered
forcefully.
I was more than willing to leave it alone, but the longer I stood
there, the bolder Mike's comment got - obviously, his smirking, snickering
hounds served only to feed his desire to humiliate me.
"Do you have something to say?" I growled thru clenched teeth. What
else could I do?
"Shit," Arsen swore under his breath.
Mike took a step towards me and threw his hands in my direction.
"What's your problem DeRosa? I'm not even talking to you!"
I rolled my eyes at that one. "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm standing
right here you moron! Doesn't take a genius to know you're talking about
me."
Now he rolled his eyes at me. "Oh get off your high horse man! Not
everything around here revolves around you."
"Whatever man!" By this time we were just a few feet away from each
other. The tension was so thick it was like a third person between us. As
the tension grew, so did the crowd around us. They were on edge and
getting closer - If I had to guess I'd say they were getting ready to stop
whatever might go down between the two of us.
"Let it go man," Arsen stepped between us and pushed me back towards
our room. "It's so not worth it."
I barely heard Arsen, I was so pissed. My heart was pumping so loud
it overtook everything. Yet, when my eyes locked on Mike, I could read his
lips as plain as day.
"Don't worry, Jacob, I was more than happy to make her kitty purr."
My insides exploded! All I could think about was leaping thru Arson
to tear Mike's head off. I never got the chance.
In front of me, Arsen roared, "Fuck this!" spun around and in one easy
motion, clocked Mike in the face with his fist. He sent him flying into
the three lackeys he's so eagerly entertained earlier.
It was so sudden and unexpected that my rage was replaced with
laughter. I couldn't believe what I just saw. I couldn't believe Arsen
would do that for me. I guess no one else saw the humor, because I quickly
realized I was alone in my laughter. I think the rest of them were in
shock. Aside from me there was dead silence.
Mike was quick to bounce back to his feet and charge Arsen. Everyone
and their grandmother lunged to break them up. And in a strange twist of
events, I was the one holding Arsen back now. They were hurling words at
each other, while everyone else yelled at them to calm down. In the end, I
think the group was actually making more noise than they were preventing.
At the very best, it was a losing battle.
Suddenly a single voice stood out from the rest. "Someone's coming!
Someone's coming!" Justin shouted, flailing his arms around like a chicken
with his head cut off. He started grabbing bodies randomly, tossing them
back towards their rooms. "You idiots! Someone's coming!"
It finally clicked with everyone what he was saying because we all
scattered like roaches when the lights come on. We stood at our doors,
trying to catch our breath, as if nothing had happened. And while the
group looked calmer, Arsen and Mike continued to give each other the evil
eyes of flaming daggers. Yikes.
I leaned into Arsen a little bit and thru the corner of my mouth, I
thanked him.
"My pleasure," he replied in the same manner.
I don't know why we bothered to pretend nothing happened. The
Brothers always seem to know what's going on regardless of our efforts to
hide the truth. We were fucked. A pledge hitting another pledge.well,
I'll just say it again.we were fucked!
I have to say seeing Dylan come up the flight of stairs surprised me.
I don't know why, he was a Brother after all, just not any of the ones I
was expecting.
"Sup guys?" he asked casually like we were all his best friends.
"How's everyone doing this morning?"
"Good Sir!" we responded, yet not so much in unison this time.
He moaned lightheartedly. "Oh god, leave the Sir at the door. Dylan
is fine." He walked up and down the hall as he spoke, looking at each set
of pledges from time to time. "Well, well, now you guys know how to throw
a kick ass party. One of the best I've ever been to. I had a lot of fun,
so thank you for having us."
"It was our pleasure!" Mike was quick to plant his lips on Dylan's
ass. Mike's eye was still twitching from Arsen's right hook. And though I
could tell Dylan could see something was wrong, he couldn't identify it
exactly. "What's wrong with your eyes, Mike? Did a little too much
partying last night?"
Mike nodded as he glared at Arsen and me. "Yeah, something like
that."
"Well as long as you had fun, right?" Dylan said.
I was fucking floored that Mike didn't rat us out. Floored I tell
you! And confused as hell. Arsen threw me the same, `I can't believe it'
look. Even CJ and Ant looked shocked, although they tried to hide it. I
guess it goes to show you, just when you think you know someone, they
surprise the shit of out of you.
The only thing that topped Mike's reaction was Dylan's. He didn't
have a clue. In fact, now that I think about it, Dylan was different. He
was nothing like the other Brothers. When Q, Seth, the twins or some other
Brother is around, you definitely get that feeling of awe from them; like
they are larger than life. They just know things. I don't know what those
"things" are, but they know them! They just carry themselves in such a way
that it's just.whoa! Mystery and power. Dylan - not so much. That's not a
knock against him at all. I mean no disrespect. If anything he appears
just a normal guy doing his thing. Maybe it's simply that he's fairly new
in his role as a Brother and hasn't found his mojo yet. Whatever the case
was he wasn't like the Brother's we were used to dealing with.
"You guys excited about tonight?"
Some of the guys nodded, others answered verbally. Either way, the
anticipation was there. Everyone was looking forward to having their Big
cook for them. Well, except for me that is. I was convinced Q was going
to serve me up a big black piece of coal.
"You guys are going to have a lot of fun tonight," Dylan assured us
with a smile. "I remember standing right were you are last year and I was
out of mind with excitement. And you," he pointed at me and that took me a
little by surprise, "if Q makes what I think, you are going to love him for
it. Believe it or not Q is an excellent cook and he makes this one dish
that's just.wow." He laughed. "You'll love it!"
I smiled. It was all I could do because after last night I seriously
wasn't expecting much from Q. Maybe some Ramen - if I was lucky.
"Okay, I have some news I think you'll enjoy. You guys have earned a
little freedom for yourselves." The simple use of the word `freedom' had
us hanging on his every word. What the fuck was he talking about?
"Interested?"
"Yes!" This time we were all one loud, coherent voice.
He laughed at us and we laughed with him. "Okay, okay I get the
message. Starting immediately you guys will get two hours a day to leave
the house to do whatever you want. Usually it will be from noon to two,
but that may change next week when school starts up again."
We were pumped. We owned a little piece of our lives again! We started
clapping and giving each other high fives and what not. CJ even thru out
a "dude" before smothering Ant in a hug.
"Hold on, hold on," he shouted, not out of anger really but simply to
get our attention. It worked. "This is a privilege, and an awesome one at
that. Like all privileges, it can be taken away just like that." He
snapped his finger loudly. "Two hours means two hours. Not two hours and
one second. Everyone has to be standing right here at exactly 2 pm or
before. If anyone and I mean anyone is late, the privilege will be gone
like that." Again he snapped his fingers and the sound echoed the hall.
"So if you're smart you'll plan to be here at least ten minutes early
everyday. You do not want to mess this up. Now for today, even though
it's not yet noon, once I'm done, you'll be free until two o'clock. So for
today you get a little extra time, but remember, you must be here by when?"
"Two!" we all sang out.
He stopped talking and took a moment to take a good long look at each
of us. I think most of us were thinking the same thing. He was cutting
into our free time! This silent `review of the troops' must have lasted a
solid 10 minutes, then he spoke, "Do you guys have any idea how lucky you
are to be standing where you are right now? Seriously, take a moment and
just think about it. Honestly, when I was in your shoes I didn't truly
comprehend. Now that I'm a Brother, it's clear but there just so much you
don't see when you're standing there. You guys aren't just pledges, you're
pledges of The Brotherhood." He left us with that thought and walked away.
And we just stood there, lost.
"Are we good to go?" Jason asked hesitantly.
We looked at each other as if scanning the crowd for someone to give
the go ahead. I wasn't about to stand around and waste any more of my free
time so I just threw it out there. "Well, he said when he as done we could
take off, so I'm taking off."
I was right. Everyone was waiting for someone to say it out loud.
The words were barely out of my mouth, and half the guys bolted. I
actually didn't move at all. I wanted to wait until Mike and Arsen were
clear of each other before leaving. I didn't want to find out later that
they started beating the crap out of each other. It was cool though. They
exchanged a few dirty looks but that was all. For now, they were in a
holding pattern, just waiting to see what would happen next.
My little crew came together to check in, anxious to formulate a plan
of action for the rest of the day.
"Does anyone know if I got any last night?" CJ asked.
We laughed our asses off.
"Seriously dude, I don't remember. Most of last night is a blur."
"Maybe you shouldn't drink so much next time."
"Yeah, and maybe Steve can do without his three-footer." He totally
goosed Steve's package, which was pretty funny I must admit. Steve just
causally brushed CJ's hand away. "So, what are you dudes going to do?"
"I want to check out the campus," Ant answered.
"Sweet! I'll come with you." Nick was just a little too eager.
"I've been dying to get near the football field since I got here. So lets
roll!" He grabbed Ant's arm, literally dragging him towards the Athletic
Center. All Ant could do was look at us and mouth the words "Help me!" It
was pretty damn funny.
CJ was like "Dude" and walked away dismissively, not quite sure what
that was all about it.
Then the focus turned to me and how I planned to spend my two hours.
I told them I'd probably walk around the campus for a while and just see
what happens. But honestly, I didn't have a clue. I never expected the
Brothers to grant us this kind of freedom. In the end, the group went in
separate directions; not surprising considering we spent way too much time
together as pledges.
I didn't get far. In fact, I didn't even get out of the house. Just
as I reached the door, Dylan stopped me to deliver a message. Apparently,
Q had requested my presence in his bedroom.
Like an idiot, I asked, "What for?"
And like a Brother looking at an idiot with a lot of fucking nerve, he
replied, "I didn't realize Q needed a reason."
"Sorry," was all I could say.
He left it at that and walked off leaving me to haul my ass back up to
Q's room. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal if it wasn't located in East
Guam! Plus, I wasn't all that gun-ho to see Q. Not yet. But it wasn't as
if I had much choice. Q's `request' wasn't really a request at all - it
was an order.
I bumped into Steve during my little trek to Q's bedroom and I mean
that literally. I was coming around a corner from the left, he was coming
around from the right.you can figure out the rest.
"Hey, what are you still doing here?" I asked. "I thought I was the
only one not enjoying our new found freedom."
"Oh, believe me I plan to make a break for it, but I wanted to talk
to my Big first."
"Where is Seth?"
"In his room, I think.at least that's what I was told."
"I'm actually doing the same."
"You have to see Seth too?"
"No special," I smirked, "I'm going to see Q; though I'd rather be
poked with flaming.hold up a second. Your face!"
Instantly Steve's face came alive with the brightest smile you can
imagine. He was glowing and I was right there with him. I couldn't
believe what I was seeing. As you may recall Steve had serious acne
issues. I'm talking about the worst of the worst. But there I was staring
at him, less than two feet away and he was almost unrecognizable to me.
Instinctively, I put my hand to his face. I didn't even think about it
really, I just did it. I had to feel it to believe it. His skin was
clear! I mean he still had a few blemishes on his chin and forehead but
they were minor, and healing fast. I guess with all the Arsen and Mike
drama, I hadn't noticed it earlier.
"How?" I asked, still stunned.
With a smile beaming across his face and a slight blush on his cheek,
he pressed his face against my hand. I think he enjoyed the feel of my
hand on his cheek. I figured it had been a while since he felt comfortable
letting someone touch his face in such a way.
"It's all because of Seth," he finally answered just as I removed my
hand.
"What did he do?"
"One of the first things he did as my Big was give me a face cream.
He said it if I used it everyday it would clear up my skin. Honestly, I
was skeptical. I've already been thru every cream, ointment and pill on
the planet. Nothing has ever helped. And as I expected, Seth's cream did
the same - nothing. I'm talking zero change! I thought maybe the whole
thing was some pledge joke. Then this morning I wake up looking like this!"
He laughed as he points to his face. "I couldn't believe it."
"What in the hell did he give you?"
"I don't know!" He seriously couldn't contain himself, the boy was
giddy. "But I don't fucking care! I mean look at me! I can finally be
one of you guys without feeling like the ugly duckling."
"Dude," that literally made my stomach turn hearing him say that, "you
were always one of us."
"No."
"Yes!"
"No way," he insisted. "You don't know what it's like to go thru high
school with a face like a pepperoni pizza and to constantly be harassed
because of it. Seriously look at yourself. You're trying to tell me you
can relate? Nothing against you bro, but you can't."
He was right. As conceded as it may sound, I certainly didn't have
any problems in the looks department. And for a moment, as I talked to
Steve, I actually felt guilty about it.
"And then I get his bid to join The Brotherhood," he continued, "and
I'm like are fucking kidding me? Me? This place looks like a freaking A&F
convention and they wanted me to try out? I was convinced I was going to
be the butt of a really bad joke."
"If that's the case, why did you even bother showing up?
He shrugged and looked passed me as if the answer was hidden somewhere
behind me. "I don't know. I guess a tiny part of me was hoping their
invitation to pledge was genuine. If that was the case I didn't want to
pass it up. So I risked humiliation to become part of something bigger and
better I could've imagined." I was about to say something but he
unintentionally cut me off. "Then I get into a line up with you guys for
the first time and all I could think was `one of these things does not
belong here,' you know?"
I nodded.
"It wasn't easy for me to be surrounded by a bunch of mother-fucking
models. But now I actually feel like I belong.as stupid as that may
sound."
I smiled. "I get it. And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you
were an outsider. Believe me, I."
"No, no, no.it's not about that. No one made me feel like that. I
made myself feel that way. But now."
"Now you look amazing." I couldn't help but caress the side of his
face again. I wasn't exaggerating in the least for the sake of his
feelings. I never ever would've guessed such a good looking guy was hiding
under all that acne. Seriously, the kid was a stud! I should've known
that if the Brother's invited him to pledge, he had something more that we
were all missing. Now that `something' was staring me in the face.
"You'll be beating the girls off with the stick now.hell, maybe even some
guys too."
He blushed again and pushed me away playfully.
"I just want you to know that I've always liked and respected you as a
person, it had nothing to do with your looks." I cupped his face in my
hands. "You were awesome before any of this. This is just icing on the
cake."
"Shit!" He looked away from me and pressed his fingers against his
eyes to stop the waterworks.
I kind of snickered at him. "Come here," I said and hugged him. It
became one of those moments you don't soon forget.
"I should go before Seth leaves or something." He hid his watery eyes
by not looking at me, "Besides, I doubt you want to keep Q waiting any
longer. See ya at two, bro." He slapped my hand and took off down the
hall.
I was so happy for him, the smile on my face stayed with me all the
way to Q's door.
It was partially open when I arrived. I stopped just out of site, you
know, to admire its lovely craftsmanship and all that good stuff. Okay
maybe I was stalling but it was a damn good looking door! Before I could
knock a voice - that did not belong to Q - invited me inside. One of the
twins was lying on Q's bed. He was dressed in simple shorts and a t-shirt
reading a magazine. Q sat at his desk, his fingers blazing across the keys
of his laptop. He had a black, gray and white camouflage tee that looked
like it was air brushed on. It hugged him perfectly. Even as I stood
just a few feet from his desk, he didn't bother to make eye contact. I
guess I really wasn't expecting him anything else.. He sat with one leg on
up his chair, concentrating on his computer. I couldn't help but notice
thru the glass on his desk he was also wearing matching trunks. I was a
bit surprised to find him lounging around in nothing more than a tee and
underwear. He's the type of guy I picture being up, fully groomed and
dressed by the crack of dawn.
I was so fixated on Q, I didn't notice the twin get off the bed until
he was standing right in front of me. "Wicked party you guys thru last
night!" he grinned and slapped my stomach with the magazine. "One of the
best I've been too actually."
"Um.thanks."
"Don't mention it. Just make sure to shoot us, or at the very least
me, an invite to your next party. I'd hate to miss it." He grinned and sat
on the edge of Q's desk.
"For sure." I was creeped out by his causal attitude especially with
Q sitting just a few feet behind him. To make matters worse or maybe just
awkward, he just sat there staring at me as if expecting me to speak. The
problem was I had nothing to say. Hell I didn't even know why I was
there..
"So." he smiled.
I kind of raised my brows and shrugged. Like what the fuck was I
supposed to do? Maybe he was expecting me to do some magic trick and pull
a rabbit out of my ass. Seriously! Q was no help, he simply continued
typing as if neither of us were in the room. The banging on the keyboard
only emphasizing the silence between us. It was unnerving.
"So." The twin repeated with the same stupid grin on his face.
"I'm sorry." I finally said.
Now he looked confused. "For what exactly?"
"I don't know, but I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something or
you're expecting something from me. I'm just not sure what you want. I'm
about ready to break out in song and believe me, no one wants that."
He laughed out right and thankfully, it broke the tension a bit.
"So how was your night?" he asked.
"Uh.fine," I shrugged.
"Did you have a good time?"
"I suppose." I looked at Q hoping he'd provide a hint as to what was
going on, but as expected, he was too consumed with his computer to care.
"Tell me," The twin paused for moment; his eyes never moved from mine,
"did anything weird happen last night?"
"Weird? Weird how?"
"I don't know. You tell me," he shrugged innocently but I could it was
a loaded question. "We found you passed out on your bed. We just want to
make sure you're okay. You're sure nothing strange happened? Because if it
did, you can tell us. That's why we're here. Not only to put you guys thru
the ringer while pledging but to watch out for you as well. You know that,
right?"
Call me slow but it finally dinged! They knew! Or at the very least
suspect something happened last night. My god I was finally able to breathe
a sigh of relief! This was my chance to tell them there's a sick fuck out
there who has nothing better to do than to harass me. I had to contain my
excitement! I knew the Brothers would nail this fucker to the wall. And
maybe, just maybe telling them everything would get some kind of response
out of Q. That alone would be worth it.
"So is there anything you want to tell us?" He prodded.
I looked straight at him and said, "Nope.not really."
Yes, you read that correctly. I didn't tell him anything. Believe me
when I say the words were on the tip of my tongue and I was about to spill
my guts, but at that very moment it hit me. What good would that do? If I
told them what was happening to me and they took it upon themselves to get
involved, it would only force this mystery fucker into hiding. I was
convinced it had to be a Brother, so once word got out among the group,
he'd be pretty stupid to try anything. If he hid, I'd never discover his
identity or what he wanted. He'd have the upper hand forever and I
couldn't let that happen. I decided right there and then that I was going
to keep quiet until I had enough info on this guy to bring to the Brothers.
No one is perfect, he's bound to fuck up at some point. I was going to
play along and fight him in my own way.
"Jacob are you sure there's nothing?" he sounded genuinely concerned
for me.
"Positive," I smiled. "I guess I passed out from too much to drink."
"Uh-huh," he said under his breath and hopped off the desk. He was
about to walk passed me but stopped at my side. He looked at me with
questioning eyes and I returned his inquisitive stare until he finally
left. I felt bad for lying but I was confident it was the right decision.
I could only hope that once I came forward with enough evidence they would
understand my silence. If I was wrong, my ass was out of The Brotherhood
and probably Arsen's ass as well. I felt guilty putting his future with
TBH in jeopardy. Maybe that wasn't my call, but it was too late now; I'd
made my bed and now I had to lay in it.
Now it was just Q and I alone in his room. He was still typing and I
was still standing there like a dumbass. Every minute he let me stand
there, I got angrier at him. I had no idea if I was dismissed and could
leave or if he had something more for me. When I first found out Q was
going to be my Big, I was so excited, but now, after all the bullshit, I
started to regret it. Speaking of regrets. That night in the motel room?
Damn I wanted to turn back the hands of time on that one. Had I known Q
was going to pull a 180 on me I never would've allowed that night to
happen. Never! I would've slept outside in the rain if necessary.
I was so pissed at him and consumed by my thoughts that I didn't
realized he stopped typing. I think it was the deafening silence in the
room that snapped me back to reality.
Q's eyes moved across the screen reading whatever the fuck he was
working on when he finally said, "Close the door."
I've been waiting for his fucker to say boo to me since the night
before and all he could muster was `close the door.' Reason 133 why I
don't own a gun is all I'm saying.
I moved to close the door but hesitated, unsure if I was supposed to
stay or get the fuck out. Of course Mister Talkative was no help. I
would've taken smoke singles at that point if that's how Q wanted to
communicate. I closed the door, but just stood there staring at it with my
back to Q and my hand shaking on the door knob. What the fuck I'm I doing
here? I was feeling panicky like I couldn't breathe. I needed to get out.
Out of nowhere an arm wrapped around my waist. A warm hand traced my
arm down to my trembling hand and gently pulled it away from the door knob.
My heart stopped. Seriously, any longer and they would've had to put the
paddles on me to jump start that bad boy. I remember biting the side of my
cheek to make sure I wasn't dreaming. It was real. The arms embracing my
body were very, very real.
"I'm sorry," Q's voice was a faint hush; he was so close his body heat
washed over me. He pressed his forehead gently against the nap of my neck.
"I'm so sorry," his said again, his voice just slightly higher than before.
"I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you feel so alone."
Is this really happening? I found those words repeating themselves
like a broken record in my head. I couldn't believe this was happening. I
was so confused. There was so much I wanted to say to Q. I wanted to lash
out at him, but every time I opened my mouth the words got caught in my
throat. I think I was afraid if I said anything the illusion would fade
I'd be standing there alone with my hand on the door knob and Q sitting at
his desk ignoring me. I didn't want that. If this was truly an illusion
so be it. It was better than the alternative.
"Say something," he pleaded. "Say anything. Yell at me if you want,
get angry, but please say something." The sincerity in his voice was
overwhelming. It's ironic. He finally gave me the opportunity to say what
I wanted, to get it all out, and I couldn't find the words. Then I
realized there was only really one question I needed answered to give me
peace of mind.
"Why?"
Instead of answering me right away, Q looked away as if the answers I
needed were scrolling across his eyes and he didn't want me to see it.
"I'm afraid the answer you're looking for is lame at best, but it was fear
that kept me away from you last night."
"Fear?" Q didn't strike me like the kind of person who was afraid of
anything. "Fear of what exactly?"
"Don't you see?" He pointed at the two of us, "this should not be
happening. The night in the motel room should never have happened; though
believe me when I tell you there isn't a fiber in my being that regrets it.
I'm just speaking the facts of the matter. You are my Little; I'm your
Big! I should've never allowed us to cross that line."
"Okay.but we did," I added. "What does that have to do with blowing
me off all night?" Q was about to answer but I cut him off. "Wait.I think
I'm beginning to understand. You didn't hang out with me because you were
afraid you might say or do something that would give us away." He looked
away for a minute, as if hearing the situation out loud made him
uncomfortable.
"That's it isn't it?"
"Yes." He answered like he was admitting defeat. "When it comes down
to fraternity business, whether it's dealing with the pledges or some other
house business, I'm focused on my task hundred percent, but last night was
such a relaxed atmosphere."
"You were afraid you'd slip up."
"Exactly." Q parted his lips to say something but released a long
drawn out breath instead. "That night in the motel I realized something."
He paused for a long while, forcing me to ask him to continue. He looked
up at me with a warm smile playing on his lips. "How easy it is for me to
lose myself in you."
His voice was so soft and soothing, yet I heard those words as if his
lips were pressed to my ear. Instantly, I had butterflies in my stomach. I
realize I probably lost some cool points admitting that but it was the
truth. What do you say to something as sweet as that? I couldn't stay mad
at him after that. Truthfully, I understood this was a tough situation for
him. Granted I wasn't exactly in his shoes but I could imagine how someone
in his position must feel.
Of course I couldn't help but ask, "How bad can it get? I mean, if
the others found about it, how bad can it get for you? Or us for that
matter?"
Throwing his head back a little, he snickered to himself; I could tell
the different scenarios were running through his head. He returned his
gaze to me and got serious suddenly. Leaning back against his desk and
grasping the edge with his hangs, he said, "If you could only understand
the line I've crossed you'd know how bad it can get."
I shrugged. "Make me understand."
"I don't know that I can." Q was about to say something more but
stopped himself, raising his left brow as the light bulb went off over his
head. "Let me tell you about Lex."
I just need to stop here and say how fucking hot he looked leaning
against his desk. I know we were having a serious conversion and all, but
I still couldn't stop my cock from getting hard. I defy any guy to stand
where I was and look at Q in his camo underwear with `things' bulging and
not get hard. I don't even think he was hard at all -the boy is just big
like that.
Anyway.
"If I had a counter part, Lex was it," he said with a smile. "It's no
secret that I'm seen as Kyrios' right-hand-man though I never actively
sought that title. Well, every right-hand needs a left. Lex was it. My
west coast counter part actually. You see this house acts like a hub for
all the TBH houses on east coast. All major issues, problems, question and
concerns come thru here first for resolution."
"Ah," I nodded knowingly, "so you're not just the head of this house
but the whole coast."
"In a way," he hesitantly agreed. "Ultimately the head of each house
runs their house the way they see fit as long as it's in line with The
Brotherhood covenants. They only turn to me for guidance when it's needed.
My words carry a lot of weight with the other leaders."
"With The Brotherhood itself from what I understand," I added. His
modesty made him that much more appealing and fucking hot.
"So goes the rumor," he laughed, "but I try not to believe them.
Anyway, just as this house is a hub, Lex's house in California served the
same function. His voice also resonated throughout The Brotherhood."
"Like yours does," I added again. I wanted him to give himself the
credit he rightfully deserved.
"Will you stop that? I know what you're doing."
I simply grinned. "Go on."
"Like I was saying.certainly it's widely believed that if Kyrios were
to pick a successor, I would be next in line. However, not long ago that
it would've been a toss up between the two of us. A few years back, Lex
took a Little by the name of Mark. This kid was as hopeless as they come.
In fact, when Lex and some of the members of his Inner Circle went to
Mark's high school to scout out potential pledges, Lex hand picked the boy
even though he wasn't one of the candidates. No one questioned his
decision because.well, it was Lex. But it was clear from the very
beginning that Mark was not Brotherhood material.
"In fact, the very first night of pledging he was dismissed by another
brother but Lex was quick to overrule him. Mark got to stay. This didn't
happen just once but many times over the course of pledging. If I
dismissed one of our pledges for every time Mark was dismissed, I
seriously wouldn't have any pledges left. But each time Lex overruled the
decision to boot him. The others could only assume Lex saw something in
him that they were missing, some hidden potential. They trusted Lex would
reveal what made this pledge so special before it was too late.
"Well, he never did. Mark made it all the way to initiation night and
was just minutes away from becoming a full blown Brother; and not just a
Brother, but one of us!" Q pressed his fist to his chest.
I was a little confused by his reference to `one of us' but I let it
go, eager to have him finish the story.
"Lex was just about to perform the final ritual that would've made
Mark's brotherhood official when a voice echoed thru the room ordering him
to stop. I can only imagine the look on his face when he turned to see
Kyrios standing before him.
"Unbeknownst to Lex, the members of his Inner Circle grew so
suspicious of his motives they launched a secret investigation to uncover
the truth. What they found sent a shockwave throughout The Brotherhood."
"Let me guess they slept together," I interjected with a roll of my
eyes at how their situation mirrored our own.
"It was more than that Jacob." A seriousness washed over his face
making the gravity of the situation very clear. "Lex was in love.and that
love clouded his judgment in the worst way. For a pledge to make it to
brotherhood he has to earn it completely on his own merit. It's one of our
most sacred laws and all members of The Brotherhood are entrusted with
upholding it. Lex betrayed that trust."
Q stopped for a moment to gather his thoughts, but I was very
impatient and urged him to continue.
"Word of his indiscretion spread like fire throughout The Brotherhood.
People were pissed like you wouldn't believe. One Brother in particular
took great offense to his betrayal of everything we stand for and made it
his personal mission to bring him down and make him regret the error of his
ways.
"Lex had to face the Council of Brothers."
"And that's what exactly," I interrupted before he even had a chance
to finish his sentence; bad habit I know.
"I was getting to that Mr. Impatient! The council is made up of the
leaders of all the TBH houses and Kyrios of course. It meets twice a year
to discuss important issues pertaining to The Brotherhood, but it also acts
like a court where Brothers in high level positions such as myself stand
trial when they've committed a crime against The Brotherhood. Well that
one Brother led a serious crusade against Lex and eventually won and
brought him down. And to be honest there wasn't much Lex could do. The
evidence spoke for itself."
"What ended up happening to this Lex guy?"
"He's still a Brother, for there is very little we can do about that.
Once you become one of us there is no going back. But he was stripped of
his position and where his voice once carried enormous weight with The
Brotherhood now it's just a mere whisper. A first year Brother has more
influence than he does. Not to mention as part of his punishment he's
forced to stay in the very house he once led."
My eyes just blew open. "Wow! That must really suck! Can you
imagine if you lost everything and on top of that were forced to stay in
this house? How everyone must look at you not to mention what they're
thinking."
"Tell me about it," Q sighed.
"What happened between Lex and Mark? Did you guys force them to stop
seeing each other?"
Q laughed. "No.why would we do that? The damage was already done.
What purpose would it serve to force them apart? No, they were very free
to continue seeing each other if they wanted. In fact from what I
understand they still continued to see each other after the scandal became
public. It didn't last long though. Their relationship only reminded Lex
of everything he lost. Eventually they went their separate ways."
"Huh." I mused. "What ever happened to Mark?"
He grinned. "Well obviously he never became a Brother."
"Obviously!"
"At the same time the Council of Brothers felt Mark was an innocent in
all this. Lex should've known better. Instead he filled Mark's head with
promises and dreams he had no chance of fulfilling. The Brotherhood felt
an obligation to him so we made sure he was set for life."
"And that means what exactly?"
"He's school is paid for. He'll have a very good job waiting for him
when he graduates in a couple of years; a house with a car in the garage
and a Golden Retriever I believe."
"Are you serious?" I was sure I was hearing things.
"Yes," he laughed at me. "As long as Mark doesn't do anything stupid
like fall in with the wrong crowd or get into drugs or the crime scene The
Brotherhood will look out for him for the rest of his days. One of our own
failed him; he shouldn't have to suffer because of it."
"Well damn! At least I know I'll be set if people find out about us."
Q gave me the look of death and took a step toward me! For a minute
there I thought a pair of red beams were going to shoot out of his eyes.
"I was kidding!" I threw out my hands so he wouldn't rush and beat
the crap out of me. I managed to grab his arms and hold him back. "I'm
kidding. I'm sorry it was a bad joke, very bad joke!" I was laughing my
ass off the whole time and as much as he wanted to pretend he was going to
hurt me, Q couldn't help but join in.
He back away from me smiling. "Hopefully now you have a better
understanding as to why I acted the way I did last night and why this can't
go beyond these doors."
"And what exactly is this?" I asked him moving my hand between us.
"What do you mean?"
"This." Now I waved both hands between us. "Whatever it is that
can't leave this room? What happened in the motel room, not to mention the
lip locking that just happened a few minutes ago. What is it? What do we
call it? I guess I'm confused as to what we're becoming.if anything."
He shrugged and threw up his hands. "I'm sorry Jacob, but I don't
have an answer for you. I don't know what this is or what to call it or
what it will become. The truth is, this is very new to me. It kind of
took me by surprise. I do know this." He paused for a moment and turned
those brilliant eyes on me. It's funny. He said it was easy for him to
lose himself in me and now when I look at him, all I can see is myself.
"Regardless of the risk to myself or my status, I'm willing to explore the
possibilities and find the answers to your.our.questions."
I smiled; possibly a very cheesy smile, but I couldn't help myself.
"I do realize however." His words trailed off and he looked pained
suddenly. "I have no right to put you in such a position. So far you have
a decent shot at becoming a Brother if continue on the path you are now.
Not to mention the life you have outside of The Brotherhood.your
girlfriend, friends, and family. This," he did the same thing with his
hands that I did, "will only complicate matters for you." I wanted to say
something but he cut me off. "So I want you to know you can walk out of
this room right now and it ends here and now. And if you're worried I'll
retaliate and boot you from The Brotherhood, please don't. I'd never abuse
my position in such a way."
Q was giving me a get out of jail free card. Regardless of whatever
might have happened or what was said, he had point. I did have a pretty
good life going for myself and I also believed I had a good shot at
becoming a Brother. And then there's Alex; yes, we have our issues but
what couple doesn't? Was I really ready to give all that up, not to
mention complicate my life a hundred times over? Why would anyone do that
to themselves?
I looked at him looking at me, waiting. I wanted to apologize but I
simply couldn't find the words. Walking to the door, I grabbed the knob
and slowly turned it. "Before I walk out this door there is something you
can answer for me."
"What's that?"
"Why me?" I turned to face him and shrugged. "Out of all the people
someone like you can end up with, why pick me?"
Q sort of laughed, this soft whispery laugh and walked to the window
behind his desk. "You don't pick these things Jacob.these things pick
you." He looked at me for a second before returning his gaze out the
window. "I remember when Geo, Seth, the twins, and I went up to your
school to scout potentials to inviting to pledge. We had files on you guys
with pictures and everything. On the way up there Geo handed me a stack of
files he wanted me to review, including yours, and I told him no. If any
of you guys were Brotherhood material I'd be able to spot you from a mile
away."
"So you're saying you had no idea who I was or what I looked like when
you came to my school?"
Q nodded. "There were five guys we were going to scout. We arrived
at your school a little after lunch and just in time to catch your gym
class. A group of you were playing football and this one guy struck me
right away. I pointed to him and told the other guys he's it; he's the one
we want to pledge. Geo checked his files to see if he was even one of the
candidates and he was."
"Who was he? I knew everyone in the gym class and he's definitely not
here."
Covering his eyes and shaking his head, Q responded with, "It was you,
you fool!"
"Oh.I knew that." So over my head.
"Sure you did," he laughed. "The way you carried yourself and
interacted with your teammates told me you were golden. Then you came here
and I started seeing you regularly and.I don't know. I can't give you a
solid answer Jacob. I can't explain it myself. All I know is you make me
feel."
I was expecting a little more to that but he wasn't forthcoming.
"Feel what Q?"
"That's just it," he turned to me again, "you make me feel." I got
that fluttery feeling in my stomach again, and his eyes.his eyes looked so
genuine. "You can't truly comprehend what that means for me." Again he
looked out the window and his voice got so soft I had to strain to hear
him. "I haven't felt like this in millions of years." I thought that was
an odd way of putting it. "At least it seems that way," he corrected
himself quickly. "I've devoted my entire existence to The Brotherhood to
ensure that it remains strong and everlasting. Then one day I meet someone
who makes me realize there could be something more and my world turns
upside down. I'm so grateful for that.grateful for you. Even if it's not
going to last."
There was nothing more to be said, so we stood there in silence. I
got the answer I was looking for and it didn't change my mind. I opened
the door and took one last look at Q before closing it behind me. It was
done. I made my decision and there was no going back.
I doubt Q was expecting to feel my arms wrap around his waist or my
lips pressing against the nap of his neck. I'm sure, when I closed the door
behind me, he thought I was on the other side.
He fell back into my arms and I held him close to me. I actually
felt him finally let go and nothing else mattered in the world but the two
of us.
You'd think I would have doubts or regrets but I felt nothing like
that. Standing there with Q in my arms felt so fucking natural and honest
that I didn't give two shits or a fuck what obstacles the world was about
to throw at us. I was euphoric! Bring it world - was all I had to say
about that!
After standing there for a long time, Q turned to face me and wrapped
his arms around me. "Jacob.are you sure this is what." I kissed him. I
knew where that sentence was going and I didn't want to hear it. I wanted
my actions to speak louder than any words we could possibly share. I
slipped my hand up his neck and thru his silky hair then pushed him down
into his chair; my lips never parted from his. I was ready to release all
the bottled up sexual energy in my pants and Q didn't seem to be
complaining.
We heard the door knob jiggle and we flew apart like we were on fire.
I was flushed and steaming all over. I had to stand behind Q's chair to
hide the obvious bulge in my jeans.
Jacob came storming in, his face flushed and yelling, "He's dead! He
fucking dead!"
Whatever switch Q throws whenever he's alone with me and when he's
with the rest of the Brother was definitely in full affect. He was in "Q"
mode all the way.
"Calm yourself," Q said, his voice mellow and laid back as ever.
"Calm myself?" Jacob pressed his fist to this temple and just looked
pissed. "Calm myself! Vesous is dead! Dead! So don't tell me to calm
down." He slammed his fist on the desk. "What do you plan to do about
it?"
Q flew from his chair and got right in his face. "Don't think for a
second, that bringing disturbing news gives you the right to come into my
room in such a manner." Q moved in even closer to Jacob, so close I
thought he was about to kiss him. Instead he hissed thru clinched teeth.
"I will not tolerate such insolence, especially in the presence of a
pledge!"
Ouch! That kind of stung a little but I knew what he meant.
Jacob looked passed Q and saw me. I don't think he noticed me up
until that point. He backed away and bowed his head. "Forgive me.but one
of our own has fallen and."
"I already knew about Vesous before you came barging in here. I got
word this morning."
"I see. The Brothers wish to speak with you.they're waiting outside
in fact." He bowed his head again and walked out. I could tell he was
still pissed as hell.
"I have to deal with this," Q said, patting my chest as he walked by
me to get a pair of sweats and a light green A&F t-shirt.
"What's going on?"
"A Brother from New York died this morning after a hit and run."
"Oh my god."
"We don't know much yet. Police are still investigating from what I
understand. At any rate, you don't need to worry about it. It's our
problem." He walked by me and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. Before he
could get away I grabbed him by the waist band of his sweats and pulled him
in for a much deeper, passionate kiss.
He had to force us apart because I really didn't want to let him go
and he walked away from me laughing. "I'll pick up my tonsils later,
damn!"
"Hey, before you leave do you mind if I use your bathroom. I've had
to take a leak since I woke up this morning."
"Knock yourself out!" he shouted as he closed the door behind him.
So I did what everyone else does when they go into someone else's
bathroom - did my business then went thru shit. For a bathroom that was
the size of a small country, Q really didn't have much in it as far as guy
stuff goes. I didn't see any shaving cream, razors, hair gel, toothbrush
or any of that crap. The place looked immaculate considering it was a
guy's bathroom. It wasn't a big deal. Q could have all that stuff stored
away somewhere. I just thought it was odd because most guys are too lazy
to make more work for themselves like putting shaving cream somewhere
they'd actually have to take two steps to get.
I could see really dark storm clouds thru the bathroom window. I had
no idea there was a storm coming. I love them. Hearing the thunder and
seeing the lightening gives me a fucking rush; not quite as good as sex but
storms are definitely up there. I walked over to the window to get a
closer look. Suddenly a ridiculously loud clap of thunder shook the room,
and I ducked instinctively as if I were about to get hit. I also saw the
bright flashes of lightening in the skies and a few strikes in the
distances. This was going to be a bad storm and I was loving it.
More interesting than the impending storm were the twenty or so
Brothers gathered outside. I just happened to catch Q walking thru the
crowd until he was standing at the very end with his back to everyone.
Since I'm not nosy or anything, I slowly, carefully and quietly opened the
window; you know to let fresh air in.
"This is bullshit!" were the first words I heard.
"Tread carefully Jacob," Shaun warned.
"I'm sorry but I can't believe I'm the only one upset about this?"
Eric was quick to step in. "We all lost a Brother today. We all feel
that loss and to say otherwise is an insult to everyone here."
"If everyone feels as passionately about this as I do we need to act!
We need to strike back and let them know such deeds will not go
unpunished!"
"Oh will you pipe down!" Steel barked. "No one knows exactly what
happened. We need more."
"They killed him!" Jacob interjected, pointing his finger down at the
group. "You know it and I know it. Pretending we don't have all the facts
and stalling for `more information' isn't going to change that.
Who else would be so bold to go after one us in such a way?"
"And what exactly would you have us do Jacob?" Shaun asked him.
"Strike back! Strike at the very heart of the."
"You're impossible!" one of the twins shouted. "You would seriously
have us start a war we could very well lose?"
"I don't see it that way," Jacob insisted. "I see them losing."
"You would," the other twin added. "You're young and short tempered
and have none of the wisdom time has afforded some of us. Neither side is
ready for a war which is why this truce has existed for several millennia."
Millennia? That had to be a mistake on his part.
"We need more time," the twin's twin insisted.
"If you're waiting for more of our Brothers to awaken than you're all
fools. It could very well be too late by then. If we had leadership with
the conviction to act, we wouldn't be having this discussion."
"Enough!" Shaun looked pissed, for Jacob was clearly attacking Q now,
who still continued to stand there with his back to the group staring up at
the sky. He seemed entranced by the brilliant flashes of light appearing
throughout the sky. "Remember your place!" Shaun continued. "You will
respect the ruling council of this house and its leader to which you have
pledged your..."
"My pledge was to no one man or group," Jacob hissed. "My pledge and
loyalties were made to The Brotherhood! It is very much my place to
question those that lead us if they refuse to act when our very livelihood
is threatened! Anything less would be criminal on my part."
"He has a point," one of the Brother's I wasn't familiar with finally
agreed.
`Fuck you' I thought.
"Not you too," Seth threw his head back and rolled his eyes.
"I'm sorry Seth," the Brother said. "I have the utmost respect for
everyone here, you know that, but there is some wisdom to be found in
Jacob's words."
"Of course there is!" Boy was Jacob quick to jump on that. "And I
know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'm simply saying what must
be said. I mean look at him." He pointed at Q and walked closer to him.
"He stands there and says nothing. Probably because on some level he knows
I speak the truth. If he won't say anything than I say we take our
concerns to Kyrios and see what he believes is the correct course of
action. This pains me to say, but I can't believe this is the Q who's led
us for so long. This isn't the Q of legend I've come to known and respect.
Ever since he lost Dylan last year he hasn't been the same; it's like he
lost his nerve or something. Seriously this can't be Q.Q the son of a."
Q spun around and stuck Jacob across the face in perfect harmony with
a clap of thunder and a lightening bolt striking somewhere off in the
distance. Hollywood couldn't have timed it any better. More impressive
than that was how far back Jacob was thrown by the blow; a good fifteen to
twenty feet at least and everyone took a step or two away from Q.
My jaw dropped. My heart pounded. I was both scared and impressed at
the same time. None of this drama made sense to me.
"If you believe speaking with Kyrios will help your cause than feel
free Jacob," Q said walking toward the fallen Jacob. His tone was calm but
you can tell he was seething. "He's downstairs in the gym as we speak.
Plead your case if you wish and see if Kyrios is willing to commit our
people to a war that will decimate both sides simply to appease your ego.
Do you really think you could make that call Jacob?"
"I."
"Do you think you can order your fellow Brothers to march to their
deaths needlessly to fight an enemy you yourself have never had the
pleasure of crossing blades with? Could you? Can any of you?"
"I didn't."
"You don't know what you're asking for when you call for war. You
think it's some glorious charge to victory, when in fact, you can't even
begin to fathom what you'd be facing. But I'm done." Standing over a
terrified Jacob, Q grabbed him by the throat and lifted him up until his
feet were dangling in the air. "One thing you will learn is you place! I
lead this house! And if you think because Kyrios happens to live in this
house that changes anything, you're sadly mistaken." He threw him into the
others Brothers. "Get him out of my sight. I can't bare to look at him
right now."
The other Brother's gathered around Q, I'm guessing it was to show
their support. There was another loud clap of thunder with so much force I
could feel the house shake and the room light up. The strike was so close
I could feel the heat it left behind. And for a moment, all I saw were
white spots in front of my eyes. I kept blinking my eyes like I had some
fucking nervous tick or some shit. Eventually, I stumbled my way to the
stink to splash cold water in my eyes.
"What the hell was that," I whispered to myself. Once my vision
returned to normal I went right back to the window. You know, for the
fresh air and all. "What the fuck?" There was a man standing next to Q
now. Notice I didn't say Brother - nothing about him said `Brother.' He
must have been in his early to mid forties with a mane of black hair with
very distinguished traces of grey along the sides. He dressed very well
with dark slacks, a dress shirt and one those long trench coats business
men tend to wear. And for an older guy, he was quite attractive. All
that aside, who the fuck was he?
He glanced at all the Brothers standing behind Q. "Leave us," he
ordered and they all leaned forward a little and bowed their heads in
reverence and left just like that.
My first thought was that I was staring at Kyrios, but I ruled it out
quickly. If this man lived in the house with all off us he'd stick out
like a sore thumb. Unless they all lied and he didn't live in the house,
but then again why would Q say he was down in the gym? It was like a bad
game of clue - Was he Col. Mustard in the gym with a swizzle stick? Oh
my god, I was so fucking confused!
After looking Q over for a bit, he finally spoke. "So how have you
been?"
"Why do you care?" Q snapped loudly. I was shocked to hear such a
cold tone coming from him.
"Can't I be concerned?"
"No, you can't," Q seemed very adamant about that. "I don't need your
concern, but if it makes you feel better and will get you out of my hair,
I'm doing just fine thanks."
"It didn't seem like you were fine a few minutes ago. You raised your
hand to your own kind; that's never happened to my knowledge. Tells me how
fine you're not doing."
Q shrugged and turned to him. "How dare you? How dare come into my
house and presume to think you know anything about me anymore. What gives
you the right?"
"Don't I have the right to worry about my."
"Don't!" Q pointed at the man and damn near took out an eye. "Don't
you dare! You lost the right to call me that along time ago. I am nothing
to you and I wish you'd get that thru your head. Now if you don't mind I
have things to attend to." Q turned away from him and went back to staring
up at the storm clouds.
The man nodded. He looked slightly hurt then suddenly he looked
right up at me. I jumped so far back it wasn't even funny, praying he
didn't get a good look at me. I had to get out of there. There was just
so much going thru my mind I was getting a fucking headache; so many things
didn't make any sense at all. I needed answers and I knew for sure I
wasn't going to find them there. I could only think of one person who
might be able to shed some light in this whole mess; that is of course if
she wasn't a complete loon.
I don't even remember getting downstairs but there was some commotion
going on at the front door. Dylan was there with two other Brothers
yelling at some guy at the door.
"What the fuck is going on now?" I said. The Twilight Zone wasn't
this complicated.
"You need to leave now!" Dylan was saying, trying to keep the kid from
coming inside.
"It was bullshit and you know it!" the guy said. "I belong in here
with you. I worked my ass off only to get booted because of a fuck up I
wasn't even responsible for? My partner fucked up! You were there Dylan.
You know what I'm talking about!"
"Doesn't matter," Dylan fired back. "We all knew the rules Jake. If
one pledge got dismissed then both had to leave. Why you still dwelling on
this shit? It was a year ago. Let it go already and get on with your
life."
"Fuck that! Where's Q? He kicked me out, he can reinstate me! I
know the new pledge class isn't that far along yet. I can rejoin and prove
that I deserve to be here. Where's Q?"
"Are you fucking kidding me with this?" Dylan laughed right in his
face. "Get out!"
"I'm not leaving and there's nothing you can do to make me go, so I
suggest."
A pair of very angry hands grabbed the guy from behind and threw him
out on his ass. It was Steel and he didn't look all to happy. "If you
come here one more time I'm going to personally kick your fucking ass until
you're nothing but a grease stain on the bottom of my boot! Do you
understand me?" With that he slammed the door shut and went upstairs.
"You'll all regret this!" Jake shouted from the front step. It was
muffled, but the tone was ominous and threatening.
"Today is just not a good day," Dylan said to no one in particular.
"What was that all about?" I asked.
Dylan rolled his eyes. "This fucking kid was in my pledge class last
year. He got booted and hasn't been able to let go. He comes by here all
the time, calls, writes, emails.you name it, he does it. He can't get it
thru this head that is over. Anyway." Dylan looked thru the glass and
sighed. "He's gone."
Then he looked at me. "Are you okay? You don't look so hot."
"I'm fine." I lied, then quickly left the house. I didn't want to
be bothered with too many probing questions.
I was ready to just bolt, collect my thoughts during what remained of
my 2 hours and think of Q. Q.Suddenly I pictured him standing in the
backyard all alone. I told myself I didn't belong there, it was TBH
business and Q was quite capable of handling the situation. Hell, he'd
just `handled' Jacob fifteen feet across the lawn. But I couldn't help
myself. In my heart, I needed to know he was okay. Besides, I was fairly
certain he'd still be alone.
As I turned the corner to the backyard, I saw him. He had yet to
move, his gaze still lingering on the ominous clouds above. The impending
storm was farther off than that last rouge thunder clap had lead me to
believe. Yet the flicker of lightening above the tree line, was the
perfect back light for Q. He was beautiful.
That was the first time it even seemed strange to me that I found
another man beautiful. I'd held Q, kissed him, caressed and longed for him
and it seemed so natural to me. So right. Sure, I'd questioned my recent
`interactions' with my fellow pledges, but not with Q. Not since he'd
taken me in his arms and gently muttered, "I'm sorry."
The rain started to fall. Gently at first, then more steady. I wiped
the first few droplets from my face half heartedly, Q remained statuesque.
And in that moment, that voyeuristic moment, I knew I'd made the right
decision, I never wanted Q to be this alone again. I took a single step
out from the corner of the house, then stopped.
Q was not alone.
Jake, initially blocked from view by the side of the house, stood less
than 50 feet from Q and was closing the distance fast. I could only assume
this fucker wanted to harass him about letting him back into the fold.
Immediately, I was heated - my protective nature turning on full force.
How dare this asshole.
"Q!" he shouted.
I couldn't help but think this guy is just asking for it and you can't
help but laugh at how pathetic he is. But then I heard the gun shoot and
it wasn't so funny anymore. I froze; my blood went cold as I saw Q fall to
the ground. My heart burst right thru me.
Two more shoots right into Q's back.
Bam. Bam.
I flinched twice. My knees buckled. The world went into slow motion.
My vision was completely blurred. Hot tears weld in my eyes,
scorching them, yet I couldn't even blink to force them down. Cold rain
pelted cheeks. I wanted to cry out but I had no voice; I kept moving my
mouth but nothing came out. The tears fell on their own, clearing my
vision enough to see I saw the bastard run into the woods and Q's body
lying on the ground motionless.
I don't know how but I managed to take one step than another than
another. I seemed heavier somehow and Q's body seemed miles away. Then
suddenly, I was blazing across the yard at full speed, the weights on my
ankles lifted, the adrenaline pushing me forward. I dropped down by Q's
side, my body moving so fast I landed almost on top of him. I was cold.
He was shaking. There was hot blood all over my hands. A voice in my head
screamed `check for a pulse!' and I could feel it briefly until it finally
faded into nothing.
I shook my head violently, pulling him into my arms, mouthing the word
`no' over and over again without any sound. I was rocking him, hugging him
close to me, hoping in some way that the beat of my heart would give him
life again.
Behind me I felt electricity fill the sky - I never heard the thunder.
I threw my head back and shouted, "Somebody help me!!!"
__________
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theinnercircletbh/
So there you have it. The 10th chapter of The Brotherhood, I hope you
liked it. I will definitely continue the story, no problem, but it really
depends on you guys. If you enjoyed what you read so far and would like to
read more please drop me an email at thewriterxx@aol.com
Take care,
X