Date: Tue, 05 Jun 2007 21:05:59 -0400
From: X X <thewriter_x@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Brotherhood #11 {X} {MM College & Sci-Fi/Fantasy} [11!?]

The following story contains sexually explicit acts between men.  If such
things bother you, annoy you, disturb you, or frighten you, then why the
hell are you here?  Do yourself a favor and leave before you read something
you like and discover that you're actually gay; you might not be able to
deal with the revelation.

***Note to Reader***

Hey all it's me again.  Your favorite absentee writer is back.  Again, I
want to thank everyone for being so patient with me.  I started a yahoo
group for TBH a while back.  It's place where you can get the latest
chapters and talk about the story with other readers if you like.  As
thanks to those who are signed up, I'll be keeping the group one chapter
ahead of Nifty.  So while Nifty has up to chapter 11 the group is up to
chapter 12.  So if you want to keep up just sign up here:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theinnercircletbh/

As always, thanks for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts, good or
bad, on the latest chapter so feel free to write me at: thewriterxx@aol.com



The Brotherhood Chapter XI


	I felt strange - out of place.  The world moved dizzily around my
head.  There was a voice calling my name; a hand gently shaking me.  My
eyes opened to a blurry figure sitting beside me.

	Why am I on my back?

	Suddenly shots echoed thru the fogginess of my brain.  Gun shots!
Though disoriented and numb, I sprung up...I had to save him!

	"Q!"  I tried the yell, only my voice cracked and his name came out
as more of a cough than anything else.  I had to find him!

	"Q!' This time his name rang out loud and clear and with a hint of
panic.

	Before I could say another word, a pair of hands grabbed my arms.
"It's okay...everything is okay.  Please stay calm."

	"You don't understand!" I was trying to shove the hands off
me. "Q...Q was shot!"

	"Jacob calm down!"  That voice.  It was both familiar and
impossible at the same time..  "I'm right here.  I'm okay."

	"What..."  It was him. There was no mistaking it.  He sat right
next to me like he was serving me breakfast in bed.  "Q?"

	"Yes," he smiled.

	I fucking freaked out.

	I jumped off the bed, realizing for the first time I was back in
Q's room.  I have no idea how I got there.  "You're dead!"  He looked as
confused as I felt.  I backed away from him, my heart racing.  "I saw you
get shot three fucking times!"

	He kind of laughed at me.  "I wasn't shot Jacob.  I'm standing
right here."  He got up and came around the corner of the bed, stopping
just a few feet in front of me.  His hands were on his chest.  I'm not sure
if the gesture was meant to emphasize his sincerity or the fact that he was
solid.  Real.  "Seriously, I'm okay."

	"I saw you get shot!"  I shouted and started breathing heavily like
I couldn't get enough air.  "I held you.  I felt you slip away.  I felt you
die in my arms.  I felt it!"  All that heavy breathing wasn't such a good
idea.  The room started spinning first, my head followed shortly after.  I
stumbled forward...right into Q's arms.

	"You're okay," he whispered to me, holding me close.  "Just breathe
slowly...breathe normally."  He sat me on the edge of the bed and knelt
down before me, caressing my face with his gentle hands.  "I'll get you
some water.  Just try to stay still.  I don't want you to fall."  He got up
to leave but I quickly grabbed him and pulled him close.  I needed to hug
him - to feel him - to know this was real.

	I felt shaky.  He was laughing at me, but I didn't care.  He was
hugging me back and that's all that mattered.  After a few minutes I had to
pull him away and ask, "What is going on?"

	"You collapsed outside."

	"I did what?"  I slipped my hand thru my hair.  "Why am I wet?"

	"You fainted and it's pouring outside."  Just then a clap of
thunder exploded around us, shaking the windows and my nervous
system. "It's okay," he laughed.

	I took a deep breath and looked him dead in his eyes.  "I saw you
get shot."

	"Okay...but I wasn't," he smiled reassuringly.  "Don't you
remember?  Jake came up behind me and pulled a gun."

	"So there was a gun!"

	"Yes, but he never got the chance to shoot me.  I grabbed his hand
and we struggled for a few seconds.  He did manage to fire three shoots
into the air, but eventually I knocked him out.  I looked over and there
you were, lying on the ground.  I thought you got hit by a stray bullet.  I
ran to you, checked for a pulse or any sign of blood loss.  I found the
pulse, but no sign of blood.  You just fainted, so I picked you up and
brought you up here."

	I shook my head no.  "That's not how it happened."

	"Yes, well apparently I get shot and killed in your version.  So
you'll forgive me if I like my version a little bit better.  Call me
crazy."

	"You don't understand," I raised my voice a little.  "I know what I
saw."

	"Jacob, you saw wrong.  I don't know what else to tell you."

	"How do you explain it then?  I didn't just make this shit up!"  I
looked down at my shaky hands.  "There was so much blood..." my voice
trailed off.

	"Maybe you made it up."

	"What?" I was a bit insulted.

	"I'm talking about in your mind.  Maybe, when you heard that first
gun shot, in that instant, your mind went into 'worst case scenario' mode.
Instead of seeing reality, you envisioned me getting shot.  That would be
emotionally overwhelming for anyone.  No one can blame you for fainting."

	It made sense, I guess.  Clearly Q was kneeling right there in
front me minus three bullet holes, but I still couldn't shake the feeling
there was something more I was missing.  "I don't know," I said softly, "it
seemed so real."

	He grabbed my hand and pressed it to his bare chest.  "If you need
to feel something real, then feel this."  His heart beat was strong, his
body warm.  "If you don't believe anything else, believe this."  He leaned
in and kissed me deeply, passionately, with a fire that could ignite a dead
star.  "If that doesn't convince you then follow me."  Q led me by the hand
out onto the balcony.  The rain continued to batter everything insight.
"You were unconscious for about ten minutes.  Luckily, you came around just
in time to see this."

      He pointed to the yard below where a cop was leading Jake off the
premise, handcuffs and all.  The left side of his face was smeared with
mud.

      "What happened to him?"

      "Steel thought it best to use his boot to keep Jake inline.  He used
it to press Jake's face into the ground until the cops showed up.  Crude
but affective, I suppose."

      I stood there in the pouring rain watching Jake get shoved into the
squad car by the cops.  Somehow it didn't make me feel any better.  Q
tapped my stomach and I followed him back inside.

      "Listen, I'm going to change into some dry clothes and head
downstairs.  The police still need a statement from me, but you're free to
hang out here if you want or go enjoy your free time; there's still plenty
of time before two o'clock comes around.  He kissed me, got some clothes
and went into the bathroom to change.

      I stood there waiting for this all to start to make sense.  I thought
back to the moment I saw Q get shot.  I could still hear the shots, smell
the gun power, see all that blood.  I don't know how long I stood there but
I didn't even notice Q shaking me until he gently tapped my cheek.

      "Jacob are you okay?"

      I brushed his hand away from my face.  "Yeah, I'm fine."

      "Alright then...I'm going to go.  If you need anything let me know."
Slipping his fingers into the front of my jeans, he leaned in and kissed me
again, but only for a moment.  I grabbed that same hand as he walked away,
reluctant to let him go.  He simply smiled at me and slipped his hand away.
"Hey, feel free to get out of those wet clothes.  We have about the same
build, pick anything from my closet you like. "

      "Thanks."

      He opened the door and told someone it was okay for them to come in
and see me.  Next thing I know Arsen and CJ rush me.

      "Dude!"  CJ damn near knocked me the fuck over when he rushed up to
hug me.  "I thought you got shot!"

      "Yeah...well...there seems to be a lot of that going around."

      "What do you mean?"

      "Nothing...nevermind."

      Arsen came up and ruffled my hair.  "Don't scare me like that!"

      "Like what?  What happened?"  Now I was confused.

      Arsen shrugged. "I was hoping you'd tell us.  One minute I'm meeting
up with CJ at the gym and the next thing I know, three loud bangs rang out
across the campus.  It sounded like fireworks."

      "Fireworks dude!"

      "Yes," Arsen just looked at CJ, "thank you for making that clear.
Anyway, we didn't think anything of it.  That was until every Brother in
sight rushed outside.  We followed, of course.  The word gun was thrown out
a few times so we knew it was serious.  Just as we're about to go out thru
the backdoor, Q rushed with you in his arms, yelling for everyone to get
the hell out of his way.  I think my heart stopped.  I mean literally
stopped when I saw you in his arms.  I rushed after you."

      "He rushed after you Dude and I was right behind him!"

      "But the Brothers got in our way and stopped us from following,"
Arsen continued.

      "They totally got in our way, dude!'

      Arsen finally back handed CJ across the chest.  "Will you stop that
shit already?"

      "What?" CJ looked absolutely bewildered.  "What did I do?"

      "The fact that you don't know makes it even worse!"  Arsen moved in
like he was going to choke CJ, but CJ ran behind me.  It was fucking
hilarious considering.  "Anyway, eventually Shaun told us you passed out or
something.  I was fucking relieved.  Don't ever scare me like that again!"

      I couldn't help but laugh at how differently everyone seems to
remember what happened.  I was just floored that I could dream up such a
completely different version.

      "What's funny?" CJ pushed gently from behind.

      "I just...well, that's not how I remember things at all," I answered.
"None of this makes any fucking sense to me."

      "What do you mean?"

      "I remember seeing Q get shot three times."  I held up three fingers
to make my point clear and they were both about to say something but I cut
them off. "I know it sounds crazy and I know that's not how it happened,
but it's what I remember."

      "Uh-huh," CJ muttered.  "Q doesn't look dead to me, dude."

      "Well obviously," I rolled my eyes.  "Thank you for pointing out the
obvious."

      "My pleasure!"

      "What else do you remember?" Arsen sounded sincerely interested

      "I remember holding Q in my arms, yelling for help.  I remember the
blood.  In fact, if I look down at my hands and I can still see the blood
dripping off them."

      "That's fucking weird," Arsen admitted, folding his arms over his
chest.  "Anything else?"

      I shrugged.  "No...I don't know."  I could see Q in my arms, lifeless
and bleeding.  Yet apparently that didn't happen at all.  It was all a
figment of my imagination.  I have to be honest, the more I thought about
it, the more I felt like something was missing.  Suddenly it hit me.

      "Light!"

      "Light?" They both repeated at once.

      "There was this brilliant white light around us that came from
nowhere and everywhere at the same time.  It burned like a white flame and
it was all consuming."

      "That sounds fucking..."

      "Crazy, I know," I finished Arsen's sentence for him.

      "I was going to say intense..."

      "But crazy works too," CJ added.

      "Look,' I backed away and activated my defensive shield, "I don't
know what's wrong with me and I could very well be losing my mind, but I
don't need you guys thinking..."

      "Calm down Sparky," Arsen was quick to interject, "no one is thinking
anything.  Especially CJ.  I mean look at him."  Okay that made me laugh
and if you could've seen the clueless look on CJ's face you'd understand
why.  "All we're saying is if you need someone to talk to, we're all here
for you."

      "Thanks, I appreciate that."

      "Well, except for Mike," CJ laughed.  "He could give a fuck I think."

      "I'm sure," I agreed.  "Look, right now all I want is some time
alone.

      Arsen nodded.  "Aright."  He grabbed CJ and dragged him away.  "Let's
go dude," he mocked.  "If you need anything..."

      "I know."

      Only moments after disappearing from sight did CJ reappear at the
door pointing at me.  He was just about to say something when Arsen's hand
grabbed him by the neck and haul his ass away.  Pure comedy! And just what
I needed at the moment.

      I wasn't about to waste anymore time so I ran into Q's closet.  Yes,
it's possible to actually run into it.  I snatched the first pair of jeans
and shirt I found and went into the bathroom to change with the speed of
light, leaving my damp clothes on the same pile as Q's.

      I left the house thinking it was pointless to change.  I was going to
be running in the rain after all.  But to my surprise, the rain had stopped
even though dark storm clouds still loomed above.

      I ran, pouring every ounce of energy I had into each step.  A few
close calls later - one with a minivan and the other with a baby stroller -
I arrived where I needed to be.  Why was I being pulled to this place?  It
beats the hell out of me, but there I was, standing in the middle of the
street staring at her shop.  In fact, I started to really question my
sanity.  I mean seriously, what the fuck was I doing there?  What could I
possibly hope to learn from this crazy woman?  How could anyone help me
when I didn't know what I was looking for?  And yet there I stood unable to
move away.

      "This is nuts..." I whispered.

      "That may be so," a voice said from behind, "but you're not going to
find any of the answers you seek standing out here."

      My thoughts scattered in different directions.  I was gripped with
dread, don't ask me why.  Even though I knew who was standing behind me, a
small part of me didn't want it to be her..  I think it was more comforting
to believe I was crazy.  If there were real answers to my questions,
they're might be a reality out there I wasn't ready to face.  Sometimes not
knowing is a good thing.

      "Oh quit your whining!"

      That pissed me off instantly.  "Excuse me?" I turned to her only to
have a bag of groceries shoved in my arms.

      "Make yourself useful, dear, and carry those in for an old lady."

      I didn't have time to protest.  She walked away looking inside her
purse for the keys to her shop.  If forced to guess, I'd say she was at
least 60.  She was short in stature, the top of her head barely reaching my
chin.  A simple black dress hung from her delicate shoulders with a red
shawl draped over her back.  Her shoes clicked on the pavement with every
step as did the keys she was having a hard time finding in such a small
purse.  My first thought was senile, but I won't go there.

      "Ah, here we go."  The sigh of relief that escaped could have
convinced anyone those keys were the most important thing since sliced
bread.

      I followed her into the room where she 'read' people's fortune.  Her
bright white hair made it clear why she was known as Lady White.  It flowed
down her back, shimmering and flickering like a candle caught in the wind.
She took the groceries and offered me a seat at her table, then disappeared
into an adjacent room.  I could hear her putting her food away, shuffling
things back and forth to make room for other things.

      So I sat there looking around the room while I waited, still
questioning my sanity with each passing minute.  I had to be insane for
talking to a fucking fortune teller.  A fortune teller, of all things!  The
room didn't even look like it belonged to a fortune teller; there wasn't a
crystal ball in sight, just a few pieces of furniture strategically placed
to make the place seem inviting.  A pair of lamps placed on opposite
corners of the room were the only source of light in the place; freakishly
enough they dimmed all on their own when Lady White walked back into the
room.  She was holding a pane of glass about the size of a chess board and
a small basket of eggs.

      She took her seat across from me, placing the glass on the table
between us and the basket off to the side.  "So, you have questions?" She
stated placing a single egg at the very edge of the table.

      I looked at the egg, then at her, then at the egg again.  Eventually,
I returned my gaze to Lady White.  "What's with the egg?"  I asked.  "Are
we going to bake something?"

      "Why are you hungry?"

      "No..."

      "Then why would you think we would bake something?"

      "Because there's an egg on the table."  I pointed at the egg, but it
was gone.  At first I thought it rolled off the edge, but there was nothing
on the floor.  "Where did the egg go?"

      "Is that why you came here?  To discuss eggs?" She asked in a tone
that made it seem like I'm the crazy one.

      "Well...no."  I watched her place another egg in the same spot as the
first.

      "Well then," she smiled, her pink lips whitening a little, "why don't
you tell me what's on your mind."

      "I can't believe I'm doing this," I whispered to myself, rubbing my
temples as the reality hit me - yes, I was really doing this.  "First of
all, are you the real thing?  I mean seriously."

	She leaned back against her chair, a crazy smile dancing on her
lips.  "I'm as real as you want me to be."

	"Okay," I nodded, completely lost.  "And that means what exactly?"

	"It means you can take whatever information I give you as truth or
dismiss it as the ramblings of senile, old...how did you put it?  Loon?"

	"See!  That right there.  How did you do that?  How did you know I
was thinking that before I even got here?"

	She threw her head back and laughed.  "I wouldn't be much of a
fortune teller if I didn't."

	"Why am I getting the feeling you're much more than that?"

	She shrugged and placed a third egg on the table.  The second was
nowhere in sight.  "Your feelings are for you to interpret."  I'm not going
to lie, the whole egg thing was freaking me out.  "I can only act as a
guide to what was, what is, and what will be.  So what exactly brought you
here?  What do you want to know?"

	I was just about ready to lay it out there, ask my question and
inevitably feel like a complete fool, but she stopped me.  Sitting forward
in her chair, she pointed her finger at me.  "Know this Jacob DeRosa.  To
ask anything of me is to open a door you will never be able to close and
once you step thru it there is no going back. Do you understand?"

	I nodded, thinking her little speech was a tad over the top, but
whatever.  "That house isn't normal is it?"

	She shrugged as if dismissing my question completely.  "What is
normal, hmm?  You go about your life, your daily routines, your friends,
your family and it's all normal to you isn't it?  But to one who is outside
of your circle, your routine, you may appear anything but normal."

	"Okay...I'll take that as a no then."  I really didn't want to
spend too much time trying to decipher her coded speech.  "Am I safe in..."

	Lady White stood unexpectedly, and I'll admit it, I jumped.  I felt
a bit silly, it's not like she screamed, 'BOO!" or anything.  She simply
went to the back room.  I could hear her looking for something.  While she
was gone I noticed the third egg was gone so I took the opportunity to look
around to see what the fuck was the deal.  I figured she had some kind of
pet or something else I was obviously missing.  I looked under the table,
under my chair, under her chair, but saw nothing.  I got up and looked
around the room.  Still, I found no sign of the missing eggs.  I flew back
to my chair when I heard her coming and acted like everything was just
peachy.

	She returned with a small bowl and took her seat.  "Place your hand
on the glass before you and press down hard."

	"Why?"

	Lady White sighed heavily and just looked at me with disapproving
eyes.  "If you plan on questioning everything I ask of you we'll never get
anywhere.  Not to mention you don't have all the time in world or have you
forgotten you have to be back by two?"

	"How do you know that?"

	"Do you think you're the only pledge who has sought my council?
Many have come over the years.  Now, place you hands on the glass please
and continue with what you were saying."

	I did what she wanted, but I wasn't too happy about it.  "I wanted
to know if I was safe in that house or should I be getting the hell out of
there?"

	She smiled as she grabbed a fist full of what appeared to be white
sand from the bowl.  "You don't need me to answer that for you, Jacob."
She shook her head knowingly as if to reassure me.

	"I don't?"

	"No, you don't.  Remove your hands from the glass."  She poured the
white sand over the area where my hands were.  "You are no ones fool,
Jacob.  If deep down you truly believed, for even one second, that you were
in danger, you wouldn't be sitting here now.  You would have left long
ago."  She reached into her dress much like woman do when they hide money
in their bra and pulled out a small black pouch.  "Fact is, the one truth
you do know is regardless of the doubts or fears that may pierce your
heart, you would never leave The Brotherhood.  There's only one thing more
important to you than joining The Brotherhood..."

      I leaned in to hear this revelation as she threw a pinch of red
powder she got from her pouch on the glass.  The fucking thing went up like
a match!  I freaked and jumped so hard I fell backwards, chair and all.  I
got right back up, shouting.  "Are you out of your mind?"  I licked my
fingers and felt my eyebrows to see if they were still there.  "I was
starting to wonder if I was nuts for coming here and now I know.  I'm out!"

      "It's hard trying to figure out where you're going without the
slightest idea of where you've been...orr more importantly who you are."

      I didn't even get to take a step for her words gripped me like
shackles.  "And what do you know?" I sneered and she smiled.

      "More than you, I promise you that."

      I pretended to stand there looking between the door and my chair as
if I really had any intention of leaving.  I had to make it look good.  I
picked up my chair, slammed it down, and took my seat again.  I'm sure that
showed her!  I was going to say something more to her but didn't.  She was
too preoccupied reading the glass, which had a perfect imprint of my hands
burned on the surface.  Every line, every finger print, was the same as my
own.  It even had an imprint of the tiny scar located on my index finger; a
reminder to always look at a fence before jumping over it.  I admit the
plane of glass looked fucking amazing.

	"Hmmm," she said, her brows raised.  "Now that's interesting..."

	I leaned forward and looked at the glass.  "Yeah, I see what you
mean..."  My sarcasm didn't phase her one bit.

	"Really?" she said with a mischievous smile.  "What do you see?"

	"You first."

	"Ah..." Now she was laughing at me.

	I was just about done playing games.  "Look, let's cut the crap.
What do you know about my past?"

	"Everything," she said matter-of-factly, "for the glass sees thru
you just as easily as you see thru it."

	"Fine...whatever you say, Yoda.  But what do you see specifically?"

	"That I can't tell you I'm afraid."

	"Well, why the hell not?  What's the point of being here?"  I
stopped for a moment to think.  "Or maybe you just didn't see shit and I'm
an idiot for sitting here and letting you pull my strings."

	"Do you really believe that?"

	"Yes!"  I pushed the chair back from under the table, ready to
leave.  Before I could get my ass off the seat she pointed to a line burned
into the glass and made me a believer.

	"When you were fourteen you bragged to your friends Ash, Jordan,
and Michael that you lost your virginity to Keri, an eighteen year old high
school senior.  It made you practically a god in their eyes." She leaned
forward and lowered her voice.  "When-in- fact, she was only over to help
you with your English paper as a favor to your mother.  When you tried to
make your move, she slapped you silly and walked out.  You got a D on that
paper I believe."  She looked down at the glass for as second look.  "D
minus in fact."

	My mouth dropped wide open.  I never told a soul about that.

	"And when you were fifteen your mother caught you with your pants
around your ankles and an inflatable..."

	"Okay, okay you proved your point!"  I waved my hands around
wildly.  I didn't feel like reliving the most embarrassing moments in my
life.  Then I grabbed the pane of glass and pulled it towards me to look at
it closely.  "You can actually see that in here?"  I was so fucking
embarrassed, I'm sure my cheeks were on fire.

	"That and more," she assured me.

	"You are going to destroy this when we're done right?"

	"Promise."

	"So let me get this straight.  You can tell me I lied about my
virginity when I was fourteen, but you can't tell me about the missing
years of my life?"

	"Exactly," she smiled as if that made perfect sense to her.
"You're on a path Jacob and all I can do is guide you on that path.  I
cannot walk it for you.  All I can do is promise you the path will lead you
to the answers you so desperately seek."

	"Can you at least give me a preview like they do in the movies?" I
begged.

	"Would the movie be worth watching if you already knew the ending?"

	I didn't answer her but I was finally beginning to understand where
she was coming from.  "Okay, you said you're a guide, so guide me.  What am
I supposed to do?"

	"You are all ready doing it," Lady White replied simply.  "Trust in
what you know. Trust in Q and The Brotherhood for they will not lead you
astray.

	"Funny, you sound so convinced I'm actually going to make it in."
I looked up at her suddenly.  Was she hinting or was that a lot of wishful
thinking on my part?"

	She smiled brightly and leaned back against her seat, placing
another egg on the table.  "Ultimately the decision will be yours, Jacob.
It always was...from the very beginning."

	"What are you saying?" I hung on every word like a dog salivating
at the treat dangled in front of his face.  "That I'm the one who's going
to decide whether I join or not?" I laughed out right.  "That's funny
because if it's true, then there is no decision.  Who in their right mind
would decide not to join The Brotherhood?"

	"You..."

	"Me?"

	"Possibly."

	"Why would I not want to join The Brotherhood?  That makes no sense
to me."

	"Because you will be faced with an impossible choice Jacob."  She
extended one hand out in front of her.  "On the one hand you'll have Q and
The Brotherhood," she extended the other hand, "and on the other..."

	She clasped her hands together and pressed them against her chin.
"Well like I said...it's an impossible choice; one you will have to make
regardless of your feelings or loyalties."

	"And I'll bet anything you already know what I'm going to choose
right?"

	She shook her head, completely surprising me.  "Actually I don't."
Tapping her fingers on each imprint, she glanced down at the pane of glass
briefly then looked up at me.  "I can see the path you will walk if you
pick one or the other...but I cannot see which one you will choose."

	I was speechless for a time.  I mean what do you say to that?  At
this point I didn't see any reason to continue to beat this dead horse.  I
could ask her a thousand times but I was pretty sure she was going to tell
me more than what she already had.  I figured I'd cross that bridge when I
got to it.  She left me no other choice.

	"There's someone out there stalking me...messing with me."

	"I know."

	I was instantly annoyed at her tone because I knew what it meant.
"You're not going to tell me who it is or what they want, are you?"

	"I wouldn't worry to much about this 'stalker' of yours, for he is
a small piece of a much larger, much more complex puzzle than you can
possibly imagine."

	"War," I whispered and saw her left eyebrow instantly spike.  "I
over heard Q and some of the other Brothers talking about it, though I
don't pretend to know exactly what it all means.  But sitting here talking
to you I'm starting to get the feeling this fight they have is not merely
with some rival fraternity is it?"

	"I'm afraid not, Jacob.  You are caught in the middle of a war born
of an age long forgotten.  A war between Light and Shadow.  There is no
escaping it.  Not for me, not for you; not for the lady taking her dog out
for a morning walk or the kids getting on the bus to go to school.  It will
happen eventually.  It's simply a matter of time."

	"What?"  I was floored.  I started thinking about my parents and
friends back home.  "You're serious aren't you?  These aren't just the
ramblings of senile, old loon are they?"

	"You can believe they are if it makes you feel better."

	"But I'd just be fooling myself, wouldn't I?"

	She merely shrugged.

	"Light and Shadow," I repeated softly.  "You mean good and evil
type stuff?"

	She laughed.  "No, I mean precisely what I said.  Light and
Shadow."

	"Yes I heard you, but that usually refers to good and evil in
someway.  Light being good and Shadow being evil."

	She was still laughing at me as she reached over to pat my hand.
"My dear boy, I'm afraid you've watched one too many movies.  What I speak
of transcends any notion of good and evil."

	"I don't understand what that means."

	"I know Jacob, but you will in time.  For now trust in what you
know."

	I heard the chimes on her outside door go off, and she stood in
acknowledgement.

	"I'm afraid my next reading is here," Lady White smiled as she
arranged her shawl.  "My door will always be open if you need to talk."

	I heard what she was saying but it really wasn't registering with
me.  I just sat there completely dumbfounded.  What did I get myself into?
The insane part about it was no matter how crazy it all sounded, my desire
and commitment to join The Brotherhood was unwavering.  It became one of
those things you just have to know, like being told half of a secret.

	Lady White sucked her teeth which got my attention oddly enough.
"My dear boy.  Here..." she got a notepad from small table by the door
before taking her seat again.  "Let me give you this for it may help answer
some questions for you."  She slipped the paper across the table and
smiled.  "It's a book by Rick Teigland.  If nothing else the title is quite
interesting."

	I unfolded the payer and read it out load.  "Light and Shadow."  I
snickered despite myself.  "Are you seriously telling me there's a guy out
there with a tell all book?"

	It sounded so ridiculous Lady White snickered along with me.  "No,
I'm telling you there's a man out there whose spent a large part of his
life researching certain things and has developed some theories around his
research and personal beliefs."

	"Well, is he right?"

	She shrugged.  "Like all things Jacob, it's really up to you to
decide what's fiction and what's not."

	"Thanks.  You've been a great help today."

	"There's really no need to lie to me," she laughed.  "That's not
what you're thinking."  She's right.  Our little visit had raised more
question than it answered.  "I wish I could tell you more, but I too have
to play by certain rules.  I'll tell you what, before you go I'll answer
one question for you with no cryptic talk, no double meanings or riddles.
A straight out honest answer."

	It took me all of two seconds to think of a question.  "Does..."

      Before I could say another word, she reached over and grabbed my
hand.  "Like all matters of the heart Jacob, these things take time.  But
what you sense and what you feel is very real and it will go as far as you
want it to.  If nothing else believe that."

	Fucking unreal!  She answered my question before I even asked it.
"Thank you."

	She nodded.  "Now you should go.  You have a long day ahead of you
and I have others to guide."

	Lady White walked me out into the waiting area where two guys
around my age sat thumbing thru magazines.  The blond haired one looked up
at me for a moment before returning his attention to the pages in front of
him.  Then, out of nowhere, he threw the magazine down and stood up. He
looked Pissed!

	"Sit down!" Lady White ordered, her long outstretched finger
pointing dead at him.  "You know the rules.  This is neutral ground and I
council both sides."

	I looked at her with a big ass question mark painted my face.

	"I won't have any lip out of you," she continued chastising him.

	"But I haven't said anything!" he argued.

	"We both know what you were going to say and I will have none of
that.  Not while you're in my house!"

	The guy sat back down and snatched his magazine up.  "Yes ma'am..."

	"You go on now, Jacob.  You're fine.  Remember, my door is always
open for you."

	I stood outside trying to figure out what just happened.  I really
didn't have much time to debate the issue.  I knew where I had to go and I
was running out of time.  I jogged pretty much the whole way to the school
library asking myself if I was really buying into all this nonsense.  It
all sounded pretty crazy.  No doubt about it.  And I couldn't help but
wonder if it all wasn't part of some test; like a personal trial.  Were
they testing me?  Trying to see the lengths I would go thru to commit to
The Brotherhood?  That made more sense to me than anything else, but it
didn't explain some of the stranger things I've seen or what my gut was
telling me.

	In any case, there I was passing the note Lady White gave me to the
girl behind the counter at the campus library.

	"Interesting title," she said with a smile as she punched it into
the computer.  "What are you some kind of sci-fi buff?"

	"Yeah I am," I answered, "but that's not why I want to the book."

	"Oh, I see.  Some kind of paper you have to write?"

	"No, not really.  It's more like personal research.  Why?  Have you
read the book?"

	"Me?" she laughed a little louder this time and tossed her hair.  I
couldn't help but notice she was stealing glances at me while she searched.
"No, I haven't.  I just thought it was an cool title.  My course load
already includes a long reading list, I can't possibly tack on extra books
for fun."

	I laughed with her.

	"I don't see it in, but hold on, let me check one more database."

	"Okay, thanks."  I was beginning to wonder if she was really going
that extra mile to look for this book, or just stalling to keep me there.

	"Any luck?"

	"Uh, no."  She shook her head, but keep her eyes fixed on my own,
piercing.  "Sorry we don't have it in."

	"Any idea when it will be back?"

	"When what will be back?" she asked a bit dreamily.

	Are you fucking serious?  I thought.  "The book.  When will the
book be back on your shelves?  Can you hold it for me?"

	"Oh the book!" she giggled.  "I'm sorry.  Where's my head at?"

	I had a few ideas, but decided not to go there.

	"Actually, I'm showing the book was removed from our
inventory...that's odd."

	"What is?"

	"It was removed at the request of the author."

	"I don't get it.  Why is that strange?"

	"Well, why would anyone publish a book if they didn't want the
public to read it?  That is kind of the whole point of writing a book,
isn't it?"

	"True."

	"I'm sorry. If you want you can use the computers over there to
search for the book online.  It may not be as good as the real thing, but
you might find some information that will help you with your research."

	"Thanks, I'll give that a try."  I was about to walk away when she
grabbed my arm.  "What's wrong?"

	"Nothing," she shrugged, acting all innocent.  "Just wanted to let
you know that I'm off in a couple of hours if you'd like to get together
for coffee or something."

	I smiled politely.  "I'm sorry.  That sounds nice and all, but I'm
already seeing someone."

	"So?" she replied as she bit her bottom lip.

	"Ah, oookay...I'll be over there."

	People are out of control.  Speaking of out of control.  Have you
ever tried doing a Google search for Light and Shadow?  There's at least
three billion and four links containing a combination of those two words.

	 I wasn't too far into my search when a pair of arms wrapped around
me and I felt lips pressed against the back of my neck.  "Hey baby..."

	Holy shit!  This library chick was fucking nuts!  I ripped her arms
off me and yelled, "What are you doing, crazy?"  To which everyone around
responded with "Shhh!"

	Boy was I fucking wrong.  "Oh, Alex!  What are you doing here?"

	"I don't know.  I saw you come in and wanted to say hi."  I knew
her attitude was flaring when she cocked her hip and put her hands on her
waist.  "What?  I suddenly can't see my own boyfriend?"

	I rolled my eyes and sat back down.  "Why don't you go see Mike?
You seem to enjoy giving him attention."

	"Mike?"  She sat at the computer next to mine.  "Who the hell is
Mike?"

	"Please don't play me for a fool.  I'm so not in the mood for your
games, Alex."

	"What games?  Who the hell is...ohhhh!  The Mike from the party!"

	"Oh, so now you suddenly remember?"

	"Don't get all snippy with me!  I don't deserve it.  I don't know
what the hell you're talking about.  I didn't do anything with him."

	"Well, that's not what I hear," I assured her with flaming eyes.

	"I don't know what you heard, but you heard wrong," she insisted.
"Yes, I talked to him after you blew me off.  But only to get under your
skin because I heard you two had issues.  I didn't touch him though."

	"Then how did he know about making your kitty purr?"

	"Keep your voice down!" She whispered and slapped my leg.

	"How did he know about your kitty?" I repeated, quieter this time.
"That's our thing."

	"I don't know," she shrugged.  "I'm guessing he overheard me
talking to the girls about my kitty not getting any play."

	"Are you serious?  You tell your girlfriends about that?"

	"Oh right," she laughed.  "Like you guys don't go around bragging
about all the over exaggerated sex you claim to have after carving another
notch on your headboard and smashing a few beer cans on your foreheads."

	She got me there.

	"Baby why would I mess with him when I have you?  You're sexier,
better built, and packing heavy."  She reached between my legs and totally
grabbed my junk right there in the library.  Which really wasn't a big
deal, because we've done it in a library before.  Only once, but it wasn't
in the bathroom if you know what I mean.  But that's story for another day.
"Baby, I love you and only you."  She leaned in to kiss me and I turned
away so she'd kiss my cheek instead.  "What's wrong now?"

	"Not here in the library.  There are too many...uh...books."  Yeah
I know...Lame.

	"Are you kidding?  The last time we were in a library was hot!  I'm
thinking of a repeat performance."  She put her hands around my neck and
pulled us closer together.

	"Alex, I'm serious.  Not here, not now!"  I needed a fucking crow
bar to get her off me, but eventually I pried her off.

	She had this wicked grin on her face as she sat back with her legs
spread so I could see right up her mini-skirt.  She wasn't wearing any
panties.  "I'm wet," she mouthed with a wink.

      "Fuck..." I said.

      Slipping her shoe off and taking a look around, Alex rubbed my crotch
with her foot.  "Mmmm...I can so tell you want it."  She snickered softly
to avoid getting attention.  "In fact, I can feel it."

      I was boning hardcore.  My dick grew towards the left side and Alex
slowly massaged the entire length.  I leaned back, moistened my lips and in
a soft voice I mumbled, "Oh shit...Q"

      "What was that baby?" she pressed even harder.

      I was about to repeat it when I realized exactly what I said.
"Shit!"  I pushed her foot away and rolled my chair back under the desk so
she couldn't touch me anymore.  "I can't do this right now, Alex.  I have
shit I need to get done and not a lot of time to do it.  It's for The
Brotherhood."

      "Ugh!" Rolling her eyes, Alex thru her head back.  "God, I can't wait
until you get in, so we can go back to our old ways.  You know, when we
actually had fun doing stuff like this?"

      "I know, but until then, I have to get my work done or I'm not going
to get in at all.  Is that what you want?"

      "Of course not!"  She stood up and adjusted her clothing so she
looked decent and not like someone about to swing on a pole at strip club.
She kissed me on the head.  "I have to go anyway.  We'll talk soon."  Alex
took a few steps then turned to face me one last time.  "You're sweet by
the way."

      "About what?" I was lost.

      "I saw that slut hitting on you at the counter.  I heard you tell her
you couldn't because you were seeing someone.  Like I said, you're sweet."
She blew me a kiss and walked away.  Can you imagine how pissed she'd be if
you knew I wasn't actually talking about her?  I still didn't know what I
was going to do about the Alex situation.  Just another one of those
bridges.

      I spent ten minutes searching the web for any information I could
find about this book and finally I came across Rick Teigland's blog.  "Of
course..." I said.  Why didn't I think to do a blog search in the first
place?  Everyone and their grandma has a blog now- a-days.  On a side note,
if I ever start up my own blog everyone has my permission to take me out
back and shoot me...twice!

      He had a section where he talked about his book Light and Shadow,
which I printed out because by now there were other people hovering wanting
to use the computers.  I sat in the back where no one could bother me and
poured over his blog entry. I should've read some of it before I decided
what to print.  The majority of it, like most blogs, was just Rick
yammering on about nothing.  I honestly don't care that he has an uncle who
thinks he's a lighthouse and goes out to the dock when it rains to warn
incoming ships.  What the fuck?

      I finally got to the good part, where he actually talks a little
about the book.  I'm not sure it made me feel any better.  It was a lot of
doomsday type stuff.  He spoke of an apocalyptic war, which he acknowledges
many people of different faiths believe is coming in a form of a holy war
between heaven and hell.  He claims they are all wrong.  In fact it has
nothing to do with heaven or hell, instead it will be the forces of Light
and Shadow that will scorch the skies and rain brimstone on the masses.  He
continues to say when the horns sound, the weapons clash and first blood is
spilled, God and the Devil will be powerless to stop it, for they have no
dominion over the forces of Light and Shadow.

      Well there's a pick me up if ever I read one.  I tell you, if there
ever was a guy to give a eulogy, this Rick Teigland is the one - hands
down.

      I buried my face in my hands.  I couldn't begin to make sense of any
of it.  According to Lady White, it was up to me to decide what was or was
not fiction?  That's a good one.  It all sounded like bullshit to me.  So
how exactly am I supposed to tell the difference between bullshit and
bullshit?

      "Fuck..." I sighed and opened my eyes.  Through the space between my
fingers I saw a man sitting opposite me.  He wasn't reading or working on
anything. He was just sitting back staring me.  I parted me fingers even
more to get a better look at him.

       "Hi," I just threw out there to see what's what.

      "Hello," he said with a nod, but that's all he said.

      Gathering up my papers, I rested my folded arms on the table.  "Color
me confused, but can I help you with something?"

      "Doubtful," he answered with this smug arrogance, "but not entirely
out of the question."  He was very proper with one leg over the other and
his hand clasped over his knee.  He was decked in a nicely pressed,
expensive suit and long business coat.  His hair was combed neatly without
a single strand out of place, which I found odd for a guy.  He had
distinguishing wisp of grey hair along the sides.

      I may be wrong, but there was an insult wrapped up in there
somewhere.  "Hey I know you."

      "Well of course you do.  You saw me from the bathroom window when you
were listening in on the conversation going on below you."

      I really couldn't argue that point so I tried to move things along.
"At the risk of sounding like a broken record, can I help you?"

      "You have fire in you, I'll give you that."

      "Okay..."  He grabbed my papers and pulled them out from under my
arms.  "Hey!"

      "Light and Shadow," he read.  "Ugh, I've read it.  This man is
extremely opinionated and unnecessarily long winded."  He tossed my papers
on the table so they slide to the very end.

      "Hello!  I was reading that!"

      "Believe me when I tell you the Harry Potter books are a better read
and that's saying a lot if you knew how I truly felt about them.  So let's
just say I wish book burning was still a common practice, and leave it at
that."

      "Who are you and what do you want?"

      "Who I am is not important.  But what I want is to understand."

      He kind of just left it hanging like that.  "And what exactly do you
want to understand?"

      "For as long as I can remember, Q has devoted everything he is to his
people, his brothers.  His commitment to his duties is unwavering."  He
paused and for a moment he looked annoyed as he rolled his eyes away from
me.  "Well not entirely unwavering, for it should be Q ruling The
Brotherhood as Kyrios, but instead it's lead by a pretender."

      "Pretender? What are you talking about?  I'm thinking someone forgot
to take their Prozac this morning?"

      "Don't mind me," he waved his hand dismissively.  "I'm just a silly
old man with dreams of how things should've been.  And I truly didn't mean
it the way it came out.  Kyrios is doing a fine job leading The Brotherhood
and I love him as I love them all, but every father has aspirations for his
son."

      "So you are Q's father!"

      "Well, of course," he said looking at me like I'm the idiot.  "You
already knew that from watching our interaction earlier today.  Why feign
ignorance?"

      I ignored him.  "What exactly do you want from me?"

      "As a father who loves his son and wants nothing but the best for
him, I want to know what it is Q sees in you.  What is it about Jacob
DeRosa that has my son so beguiled?  Why would he forgo passing the gift to
one whose proven himself on the off chance that you might make it to the
end?"

      "Look, I don't even know that 'beguiled' is a real word, but here's
an idea.  Why don't you ask Q and leave me out of your family squabbling?
As-a-matter-of-fact, I seriously don't think you should be getting involved
in the affairs of The Brotherhood unless you're looking to make things more
complicated for Q.  I get you're his father and all, but that doesn't mean
you know the inner politics of The Brotherhood.  Being his father doesn't
exactly make you an authority on all things Brotherhood."

      He just starts laughing and laughing and I'm sitting there wondering
what the joke is.  "Not too bright are you?" His laughter slowly died down
to a chuckle.  "My dear boy," I instantly thought of Lady White when he
said that, "I'm the reason The Brotherhood exist in the first place, for
they are all my sons."

      "Yeah...about that."  I slowly stood up.  "I'm thinking you have some
serious daddy issue you need to work out, but I'm certainly not the one
qualified to help you.  I'm thinking of a place with a lot of padding.  So
while I'd really love to stay and talk crazy with you, I have to go."

      "Your sense of humor is quite endearing.  I can see why he likes that
about you."

      "He said that?"

      "But you're right, Mr. DeRosa." He looked at his watch before he
continued.  "You have exactly twelve minutes and thirty three seconds to
get back to your room."

      "What?" I damn near shouted.  I lost all sense of decorum and grabbed
his wrist to look that the time.  "Fuck!"  I took off like a bullet.

      "No running in the library," some woman shouted.

      "There's no yelling either," I shouted back.  I ran like a crack head
running from the cops, let me tell you.  I refused to be responsible for us
losing our new found freedom.  I knocked over a professor, two students,
and some guy walking with a pile of flyers that was knee high.  Boy, did he
sound pissed!

      I got to the house just as a Brother was walking out and I damn near
knocked him over.  I raced up the stairs, tripping twice mind you, and got
to my spot next to Arsen just a few seconds before the alarm went off.

      The Brother waiting for us to get back looked annoyed.  "Lucky," he
said.  "I was looking forward to stripping your privileges."

      Dick.  Yeah, I thought I said that in my head but come to find out, I
actually said it out loud.  Luckily it wasn't so loud so he couldn't hear
me clearly.  Arsen fucking jabbed in the ribs. Hard!

      "You have something to say, DeRosa?"

      "Sir, no Sir!  Sorry for making you wait, Sir!"

      The Brother looked me over from top to bottom.  "You think you're
cute DeRosa?"

      "Sir, no Sir!"

      "What?  You think you're too good to dress like the rest of the
pledges?  You think you're special, DeRosa?"

      Seriously, what was it with this guy and my last name?  "No Sir!  But
considering my clothes were all wet from getting caught in the rain this
morning Q said I could wear his clothes for the time being."  The second I
said "Q said" the Brother backed off like a switch went off in his head or
something.  I know I shouldn't have, but I was totally grinning on the
inside.

      I won't bore you by reliving the ten minutes the Brother spent
yelling at us.  Apparently, I wasn't the only one who was almost late.  It
seems pretty much all the pledges got there within the last six or seven
minutes of our deadline.  We were definitely "playing with fire" as the
Brother put it.

      Anyway, after the yelling subsided, he told us to get cleaned up and
ready for the Trial of Honesty.  Once we were done with that we'd have our
special dinner and get together with our Bigs.

      The minute the Brother left, my little crew crowded around Arsen and
I and we gave each other high fives for making it by the skin on our asses.

      "Dude, I so thought I was going blow it for everyone!"

      "Yeah, me too!" Arsen added and then looked at me.  "What were you
doing?"

      I laughed.  "You wouldn't believe it if I told you, trust me."

      "And why is that?" He looked puzzled and annoyed at the same time.

      "Because I'm not sure I believe any of it myself, that's why."

      Ant added his two cents on the subject.  "Well that sounds like an
interesting story if I ever heard one.  Spill!"

      "Give me sometime and I will.  There's just so much stuff, so much
information I haven't had the chance to sit down and processes it all.  I
have to get my head around it first and then maybe I'll be able to share."

      "It sounds serious Jacob," Arsen chimed in like the concerned older
brother I've come expect.  "Are you okay?"

      "I'm fine."  He pretty much called me a lair with the look he gave
me.  "I promise.  Just give me time."

      Ant agreed.  "You best not leave us hanging."

      "So anyone have any ideas what the 'Trial of Honesty' is?" Steve
questioned.

      We all just looked at each like dumbasses.

      "Not a clue," Paul was the first to speak.  "I'm actually surprised
he even told us we had a trial coming up.  The Brothers usually like to
spring shit like that on us.  Whatever it is, I'm sure being late wouldn't
be a good thing, so we should go get ready."

      "True," I agreed.  I ruffed CJ's hair as I turned to walk into my
room, but was stopped by Arsen.  "What's wrong?"

      "I almost forgot!  I was supposed to tell you Q had your clothes
washed and dried so you have to go to his room to get your stuff and
change.  I think it's Q's way of checking up on you to make sure you're
doing okay.  You are doing okay, right?"

      "I'm fine."  I thanked my boy and went to Q's room.  There on his bed
were my clothes nicely folded and ironed.

      Q didn't seem to be in the room and I say that because you could
easily get lost in that space, it's so fucking big.  I put everything on
except my shirt.  Instead, I threw over my shoulder, grabbed the clothes I
borrowed from Q and went to the bathroom.  His old pile of clothes was
still laying there, so I just added to the collection, then put on my
shirt.  Looking down to tuck in my shirt, I noticed the sleeve of the green
shirt Q had worn this morning sticking out of the side.

      You would think I would have checked out the shirt he was wearing
when I swore I saw him get shoot, but it never occurred to me until then.
Of course now it seemed stupid, but what the hell?

      "Jacob, you in here?"

      I barely heard Q call for me from the bedroom, but I smiled just the
same.  How lame am I?  "I'm in here," I yelled, shoving my hand inside his
shirt.

      "Here in the closet?  Here on the balcony? Here in the secret room
you're not supposed to know about?"

      "Here in the bathroom!" I laughed and turned his shirt around only to
see three fingers sticking out three bullet size holes.  "My god..."

__________

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theinnercircletbh/ For chapter 12

So there you have it.  The 11th chapter of The Brotherhood, I hope you
liked it.  I will definitely continue the story, no problem, but it really
depends on you guys.  If you enjoyed what you read so far and would like to
read more please drop me an email at thewriterxx@aol.com

Take care,
     X