Date: Fri, 15 Mar 2002 04:15:13 From: eric leung <fantasy_eric@hotmail.com> Subject: The Sky is Blue Chapter 1 This is not a real story and thanks for Hank to help me to do the edit. Hank, you did a great job. And I want to say thank you to two people that is very important to me, Uncle and Mark. Uncle, thanks for support since my first story and Mark, I love you. Chapter 1: Childhood ==================== Hello everyone, please let me introduce myself. My name is Tin. I am a Chinese boy who grew up in Hong Kong. Though I come from a wealthy family, and affluent Chinese families tend to have many children, I don't have any brothers or sisters - I am the only child. I am now a 22-year old undergraduate studying in the University of Alberta, Canada, and this is the story of my first love. I met my first real love when I was 18. Actually, I first met him when I was 8 but only fell in love with him when I was 18, as you will come to see. I knew I was gay even when I was 6, though I didn't know the term then. I've always felt different from the other boys of my age. I'd never had any interest in the fairer sex or their bodies but, even at that tender age, I could feel an unnaturally strong attraction towards boys and men. I loved to see male bodies, especially a muscle guy's, not the type who have freaky muscles but those with reasonably well-defined and not too overly muscular bodies. I could never tire of watching their bodies and how they move. I also realised that I was different from the other boys in that I had no interest in soccer, cars, action figures, etc, that all the other boys my age seemed to live and breathe in. I was a quiet child and a voracious reader who easily burst into tears, which my childhood friends took full advantage of. So I grew up being teased and bullied and it was no different when the Johnsons came into my life in 1988. 1988 summer, Hong Kong ---------------------- I was 8 that year. I remember a Canadian family moving into the house next to mine one summer day. The Johnsons moved here because Mr. Johnson's university wanted him to do a research paper in Hong Kong. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson were the kindest people I ever knew but I couldn't say the same of their 2 sons, Edward and Andrew. They are twins and were the primary cause of my childhood misery. Our parents got along extremely well and naturally thought that their children would hit it off as well too. So my parents always encouraged Edward and Andrew to come over and play with me as they could not get me to go over to the Johnson's, being the shy boy that I was. Well, the twins were delighted and took every opportunity to tease me and make me cry, and that they did well everyday. I remember one time they sneaked into my room when I was sleeping, and drew lots of turtles on my face. They had used oil pens so I ended up having 12 turtles on my face a whole week! To my surprise, my parents thought it was funny too and that it would make me more rough and tumble like the other boys, so Edward and Andrew got away with it. I could not believe that my parents took their side and this added further to my misery. Then one time when I was reading in my garden, I suddenly felt lots of frogs being thrown onto me. It felt like it was raining frogs so I ran away screaming as I was very scared of frogs, bugs and other slimy, squishy things. I really couldn't understand why my parents still let my two tormentors come by my house everyday. And they never failed to play a different trick on me each day. I suppose they enjoyed seeing me cry. In the end, I gave up complaining to my parents and cried myself out in a quiet place but Edward and Andrew always found me. They loved to see tears falling down my cheeks while laughing their heads off at my misery. Oh, they weren't mean, they just loved to play tricks on me, being an easy naive target for them. Somehow I sensed this and didn't hold a really grudge against them. Eventually, as the years rolled by, I managed to reduce my bawling to quiet sobbing. And just in case you thought they were always pulling pranks on me, there were times too when Edward and Andrew were nice to me so my mom thought that they were my good friends and was glad to see me kidding around with them, or so she thought. If only she knew! 1990 winter, Hong Kong ---------------------- After five years of painful struggle, my mother passed away that year of bone cancer. I didn't know why but my tears wouldn't come when I heard of her. After all, she is the best mother in this world. When we came back from the funeral, I sat in my room and looked at her pictures. Suddenly, someone was knocking my window, so I walked over and looked out. Edward was sitting on the branches of the big tree outside. I had a horrible thought that he was there to tease me even in my hour of sadness, but the look on his face was sincere and sympathetic so I cautiously opened the window and let him in. When he got into the room, he enquired, "Are you ok?" "Yeah, I am fine." I looked at his face and had a strange feeling. "If you want to cry, you can cry," he said softly. Suddenly my tears started falling down from my eyes. I cried very hard and felt my legs giving way. I almost fell down on the floor but Edward caught me and hugged me very tight. I could feel his body's warmth. I'd never felt so close to someone before. Somehow, I felt safe and protected so I let all my grief out and cried even harder on his chest. Edward didn't say anything. He hugged me very tight. Eventually, I used all my energy up crying and fell asleep in his arms. After that, only Andrew continued playing tricks on me everyday. Ed would comfort me and hug me when I cried. I'd never seen them arguing up until then but I remember one time after that when Edward chided Andrew for playing tricks on me and making me cry. Somehow, with Edward's help, I learned to take the Andrew's tricks in stride. The comfort of Ed's arms and the warmth of his hugs more than made up for it. Soon, I learned to hug him whenever the slightest opportunity presented itself. Seeing that I was less prone to crying now, Andrew eventually stopped playing tricks on me but did not become that friendly towards me. I could sense that he was jealous. I put it down to the fact that I was getting closer to his brother and that he was feeling left out. Still, he did not try to come between his brother and me. Sometimes when our eyes would meet, I could see Andrew's hurt in them but he always pushed me away whenever I tried to get closer to him to know him better. He'd always step in and help me out whenever the other boys tried to bully me and always protected me whenever Edward's not around, and always offer his help with my schoolwork and projects whenever I needed it. At first, I thought he was doing it out of guilt to make up for his years of ill-treatment of me but I could feel our years of growing up together had made him genuinely care for me, much like a younger brother. He would even give me what I thought of then as substitute hugs. He would always hug me and say, "For Ed". However, as soon as his brother came around, Andrew would distance himself from me and let Edward look after me. And so the years passed by with both Edward and Andrew becoming my two best friends. Although I felt strongly attracted to both Andrew and Edward, I kept my feelings well-hidden and let our hugs become our only intimacy. I could not afford to let our friendship fall apart should they find out about me. I'd come to treasure their friendship too much to let my feelings for them get in the way. 1993 summer, Hong Kong ---------------------- When I was 13, Mr. Johnson finished his research after 5 years in Hong Kong and was ready to move back to Canada. I was feeling very down as I was about to lose my best friends, and was keeping very much to myself. The night before they left, as I was getting ready to bed, someone knocked my window. It was dark but I thought I could make out Ed sitting on the branches outside so I opened the window to let him him. However, he did not make a move to come in so I leaned out the window towards him. Imagine my surprise when he moved in and kissed me. Not on my face, but on my lips. This was my first kiss. Although it was only a slight touch on the lips, I was shocked and my brain refused to function. When my brain started working again, he had already gone. The next day, I didn't go out of my room as I didn't know how to face Ed. And so, I didn't even say goodbye to him. Life became very lonely after they've gone. I grew up and became a strong boy. I didn't cry anymore but I was still very quiet and loved to read a lot. When I was 16, my dad and I emigrated to Edmonton. I moved to a new world and made lots of new friends in High School there. But sometimes I would miss Ed or even Andrew and longed to feel the warmth of their hugs again. I wrote some letters to Ed but he never replied my mail. He had become one of my precious memories. I could still remember his smell, his body. I never thought that I would ever meet him again. tbc