Date: Wed, 29 Aug 2012 08:06:12 -0700
From: Charles Wolfe <c.sportswolfe@gmail.com>
Subject: The Ultimate Man- Redemption Chapter 1

Welcome back to the second semester of Chris's college career at CSU Long
Beach. It will be a fun one indeed, and as we saw from the last chapter of
Winter Break, the fun has already started.


	Standing there almost nude, I was caught off guard by the asshole
in front of me. This guy held a soccer ball in his hands, my red flags
suddenly going off in my head. Who was this guy? What did he want? My body
tensed up in case of the onslaught that is about to come.

	The guy repeats his question, the testiness of it getting on my
nerves. "What did you DO to Skyler?!" The ball of fury takes a step towards
me, a wrong move in my book.

	Countering his ploy, I move up to him and answer him for the first
time, seething out my anger at being awaken and then verbally
attacked. "Who the fuck are you? I didn't do ANYTHING to Skyler!" I get up
close to the shit, realizing that I have an inch or two over him.

	This guy would not relent, looking slightly up at me, but not
enough to think he was lower than me. "You didn't hear? Skyler attempted
suicide. I found him in his room crying in the corner, a knife dry with
blood."

	I stepped back, shock overtaking me. What? Skyler tried to kill
himself? I knew he was in for a rough ride, him dealing with being gay and
all but this was not expected at all. I couldn't find the words to say,
sick at the thought of him dying.

	The soccer player read my actions and tossed the soccer ball at my
chest, forcing me out of my daze. "I know you caused it! You're the last
one he saw before he started drinking excessively. Every time we would hang
out, he would talk nonstop about some mistake that was made. And then this
happens! Connect the dot Chris!"

	How did he know my name? I went into a fury, not being able to have
been there angering me into wanting to hurt the soccer player. Stepping up
to his face, my wrath become very clear with ever word I say. "Listen you
little shit, I didn't cause him to try to off himself. And this mistake he
made... he wasn't talking about him, he was talking about you, you and your
soccer buddies. Maybe if you weren't all so homophobic, this wouldn't have
happened. He just wants to play but you have created such a hostile
environment for gay to participate!"

	It was his turn to be shocked, the ignorant player stepping back at
what just hit him. While I didn't outright say it, I knew what had just
been done, and it was something I had not intended to do. "What are you
saying? That Skyler is gay? No fucking way!"

	I moved forward, pressing against the prick and forcing him back
into the hallway. Not relenting, I keep advancing till his back in against
the wall. The damage had been done and I had just outted Skyler, but it was
something unintended. I needed to stop the spread as fast as I can. Once he
was flat against the wall, the guy started to shrivel. "Don't you DARE tell
anyone that Skyler is gay, or so help him, I will break you into so many
pieces." Punching the wall to the left of his head, I barely miss his head
but my intent was clear. "Where is he?" I hiss out to the guy.

	"What do you care?" This guy actually cared for Skyler, something I
had not expected, especially since I just outted him.

	"He outted himself to me first, and I just outted him to you. I now
have to make sure you don't fuck him up. Especially given the soccer team's
track record." I step back a little, allowing him to lead me to Skyler.

	"Dude you don't know me. What the soccer team thinks and what I
think are two different things." The guy starts walking away, taking a few
steps before calling back to me. "You coming?"

	Moving back in to grab some pants and a shirt, I stumble out after
the guy, dressing myself as we walked towards the elevator. "So you know my
name but I don't know yours, what is it?"

	As we enter the elevator, the guy sticks out his hand, the first
possible sign of a truce being offered, "My names Austin Greenfield."

*****

	I was kinda surprised that they lived on the first floor, near the
front entrance as well. Of all the entire first semester, how had I not ran
into them? Austin opened the door and, true to what he had said earlier,
Skyler was still balled up in the corner, though no sharp objects were near
him. He wasn't wearing much, a simple t-shirt, some common brand sports
shorts. His wrists though, they were subtly bandaged and covered with a
workout band. Austin stepped in first, Skyler looking up at him when Austin
asked worried, "Hey how are you doing?"

	Skyler was very meek and scared, his voice reflecting it in his
speech. "I'm better now..." It was then that he clammed up, the sight of me
entering shutting him down.

	I rushed over to his side, worry overtaking me. This was the first
time I had ever dealt with a situation like this so I was completely
unprepared for how to deal with him. Sitting next to him on the floor, I
stay to myself for a second, and then wrap my arm around his shoulder. His
body shuddered at the feeling of my hand. "Skyler, why didn't you tell me?
I constantly told you was that I am here to talk. I never wanted this to
happen to you."

	It was hard for Austin to watch his friend in this condition but
being that he didn't really know what all was going on, besides the fact
that Skyler was gay, he couldn't really do much. Yet then again, what all
could I do? Skyler broke down and started sobbing, muttering out fragments
of what he was thinking. "I didn't want this.... I didn't want them to find
out."

	Giving a cautious look up to Austin, I carefully worded my next
sentence, "Well you can tell them all on your own terms. And Austin will be
here to help back you up along the way." It was subtle but I wanted Austin
to get into the conversation as well.

	Skyler looked up at Austin, then over to me, his eyes wide; "You
know? He knows?"

	Swallowing hard, I admitted my mistake, "Yea he knows. He was
worried about you and I told him about you. He needed to know what all was
going on, and he has a lot more to learn." Looking at Austin, I widen my
eyes and gesture to Skyler that he needs him.

	Austin just sat there on his bed, unsure of what to do, his face
displaying an unease of what all to say. Moving up to my feet, I leave
Skyler and walk over to Austin. "Hey Skyler, Austin and I are going to talk
out in the hallway real fast ok?"

	Skyler gives a small nod, his olive hair waving gently to us as I
grab Austin and pull him out the door. Stepping into the hallway, I cross
my arms and glare at him, "What are you doing?"

	Austin either plays dumb or he really doesn't see what is going on,
"What? I'm letting you talk with him. I don't know what to say." His voice
cracks at the statement, the weight of the situation slowly hitting him.

	"He is YOUR friend! YOU have the better connection to him. I can
only go so far before I run out of things to say. You need to let him know
it will be ok." I vent to Austin, explaining how little I actually know of
Skyler. I may be gay but it's not like I know the guy's life story.

	Austin just stands there stunned; the gravity of the situation
further pushing him to reality. "But... but... but... I don't know how to
comfort him. I want to help him but this is a side of Skyler I swear I have
never seen before."

	Moving up to Austin, I look into his eyes, pleading for his
help. "I know it's hard, trust me. But you have a connection to him that I
have not been able to make yet. I only know him because he came to me first
then ran off. I need you to be there, tell him something, hug him, I don't
care. Just let him know you are there for HIM." I spin around and face the
door in frustration. "Your friend almost died! What would you say to him if
you couldn't see him again?!"

	I move to enter back in, realizing that I might be on my own in
this venture. Instead though Austin moves past me and falls to his knees in
front of Skyler. "Skyler. Skyler look at me."

	Skyler looks up from his knees, his auburn eyes red from the tears
shed. His clothes are wrinkled from staying in the ball for the length of
time that he has. Looking around his room, I take note of what Skyler is
actually into; a snowboarding poster hangs over his bed, some family
pictures stand near his bed, the family standing with a dog near the
beach. His soccer jersey hangs from his side of the wall; probably a
reminder of his high school years.

      Austin continues to talk, his big brother mode coming out. "Hey, I
need you to promise that you will never try to die again. Please." Austin
pulls Skyler in close, cradling his head into Austin's chest.

      At that moment Skyler breaks down completely, pulling Austin close
like a lost child finding his father. "I feel so scared. I don't want to
lose you as a brother; I don't want to lose the team; I need help."

      Austin holds Skyler close, allowing him to weep into his chest. "Hey,
it's ok. I'm not going anywhere. And you can always talk with me."

      I just stand there, letting the scene unfold. I don't want to
interrupt it because it needs to happen. The two of them have a lot to talk
about, and unlike Michael and Bryson, this was reconciliation, not a
fight. Austin actually cares about Skyler. There were a million things I
wanted to ask him, no, talk with him, about. With all the sincerity I could
muster, I broke the silence by asking the hardest question anyone could
ever ask an at risk suicide. Moving down to the floor, I sat up against the
bed and opened my mouth, "Skyler, do you want to talk about it?"

      Skyler looks up from Austin's chest and over to me, the sound of my
voice jarring him back to reality. With a grimacing feature, it was made
clear that he didn't want to discuss it at the moment. "I... I don't
know..."

      Austin leaned back and brushed Skyler's hair, "Even all the crap that
the world puts people through, none of it should ever get to that
point. Talk with someone, anyone, Skyler. I was scared when I saw you in
here with the knife. I felt responsible in ways you can't even fathom."
Austin hugged Skyler, not as a friend but as a brother, their embracement
what true friendship should look like. Even through the thick and thin
(this being a very thin part of it), they still cared about each other.

      Pressing further to make sure he wouldn't do it again, I asked the
next hardest question, the thought of it bringing bile to my throat. "Are
you going to be ok?" I was very nervous about asking this question, mostly
because I could unwittingly be seeding the doubt back into his mind that
life wasn't worth it for him.

      Skyler scoffed and sniffled, "Yea I should be. To be honest, what
brought me back was the thought of you. I thought of how strong you were
and how, even though you have been dragged through shit, you still keep
pushing." Skyler couldn't look at me when he said that, and as it hit me, I
was blown away that he thought that of me.

      Was I really that strong? Did I really look like a guy to him that he
would want to look up to? I couldn't muster the words to say anything back
to him, instead my face drawing a blank. Skyler continued with his
explanation, "What we did to you was horrible, and I didn't think I could
handle that. I didn't think I could handle the bashing and slurs but you,
you somehow stand strong, like this shit doesn't faze you."

      Coughing out a laugh, I looked hard at him, "It does hurt. Way more
than you think, but you can't have other people rule you're life. YOU have
to control what happens.  You're strong Skyler, don't let anyone control
you."

      Austin looks over to me, not really sure what to say about the
bashing and slurs. I know that he has his experience in dishing it out so
this is all a 180 for him, a change that will be needed to be made. Not
wanting to leave but knowing that I needed to give them their alone time, I
stood back up.

       Moving over to his desk, I find a post-it note and write down my
number. Skyler notices my movement and looks up at me as I move towards
them. "Here is my number. If you ever need to talk, and I mean it, EVER,
please call me Skyler. I am going to go ok?"

      Skyler reaches out his hand to take the note and nods his head
slowly. His eyes have healed enough to make me think he will be alright and
if he ever does relapse, I pray that he does call. Moving towards the door,
I open it and look back at them, the Skyler and Austin sitting out in front
of each other, the silence between them unnerving. As I leave though,
Austin opens up first, "You being gay doesn't change anything between us."

*****

      When the first day of class came, I was more prepared for it than the
previous semester. I had a better understanding as to where my classes were
and how to best get to them. I still felt the burden of Skyler bearing on
me; me tossing looks over to his room whenever I would pass by. I knocked a
few times and announced who it was but no one ever answered. I could only
hope that Austin was making headway with Skyler and that all was not lost.

      My classes were great that Wednesday, a simple earth science class,
technically called Natural Disasters and Earth Resources, an English class
titled Shakespearian Writing in the 21st Century and Entry Level Math. Out
of all three classes, the English class struck me as the most interesting;
the professor talking about how much Shakespeare contributed to today's
writing society. I was bummed that it was not Mrs. Steiner as before but
this guy was pretty good at engaging the class, throwing witty remarks from
Shakespearian writings at us all class.

      Math was a refresher from high school, a complete drag in my opinion
but I needed to complete it for my general education courses. The professor
tried his best to make it engaging but in the end, for me at least, it was
all numbers and symbols.

	The Earth science class was blah, a bit of a drag in my
opinion. While it was not a refresher from high school like math, it was
still needed to graduate, fulfilling one of my science requirements that I
needed (in addition to Biology that I took last semester). I actually took
a liking to the professor though, a bit of an eye candy. He was tall and
tan, evidence of the field showing through his muscles and baggy
hair. While I don't normally go for older men, he was still young, possibly
only in his late 20's, early 30's.

	Unlike last semester, I didn't have Michael in any of my classes;
instead he and I meeting up at the café for a mid lunch snack. While he
was unable to show up on the first day, we met on Thursday, in between my
Nutrition class and my Critical Thinking class. Something was off when I
approached him, a slouch out of the norm, his attention lost when I called
out his name a few times. Working my way over to him, I hugged him from
behind, wrapping my arms around his waist and tugging tightly, "Hey babe,
how are you doing?"

	Michael snapped out of his daze at my approach, a smile appearing
immediately across his face. "I feel tired and drained. My classes are back
to back this semester, not to mention my two labs that I have. It'll be
brutal further into the semester." His polo shirt was a bit wrinkled, a
sign he really has been busy.

	Releasing my grip, I move up beside him and sit, unloading my pack
to the floor. "Well I am always here to talk with if you need it." Resting
my hand on his, I smile at him, hoping to comfort him from the onslaught of
classes.

	Michael's smile went weak, him suddenly looking out over the
campus. "Yea I know."

	Concerned that it was more than just his classes, I pressed
further, not sure of what I was going to find out. "Hey are you sure
everything is alright? Is it about your family? Me?"

	Michael looked over to me, a pained look on his face, "Yes. Well
no... I don't know. This isn't the place I really want to talk about it."

	Holding his hands firm, I press to show that I am here for him, no
matter what, unease showing in my eyes. "Are you sure? You know we can talk
about anything right?"

	Michael looked away from me, a slight tear in his eye becoming
visible. "Chris, I... I can't talk about this here. Please." With that, he
took his hand from mine and grabbed his bag, a quick movement to gather
everything together. Trying meekly to smile at me, he said to me, "I care
about you Chris, just remember that."

	Leaving me stunned, Michael left, moving through the tables towards
the door. I wanted to chase after him and talk but he had made it clear
that he didn't want to talk. At least not right now. Looking out over the
campus with slightly blurred eyes, I began to wonder what all the semester
actually had planned out for me.


Ok so this was a fun first chapter. As you can guess from the ending, a lot
will be happening this semester. Let me know what you thought and I hope
that you are all doing well.

Send me your thoughts and I will do my best to get back to them as soon as
possible.