Date: Tue, 2 Oct 2012 08:43:35 -0700
From: Charles Wolfe <c.sportswolfe@gmail.com>
Subject: The Ultimate Man- Redemption Chapter 7

      Well the semester is now kicking into full gear for Chris. It is
finally tournament day so let's see how he performs. I hope you all enjoy
:-D


	I couldn't help but feel frustrated at myself for what I had done
to Pike. I really wanted to play the starting line and while I knew I could
just call "last back" when we possibly lost our first point, it wouldn't
have been right to call out a player on the first loss of a point. The
entire Friday I was bothered; the nagging of the upcoming game getting on
my nerves. I knew I needed to talk with someone and Michael came to my mind
first.

	I was happy to find out that he was in his room later that night,
Bryson gone out for some drinking party. Michael apparently could have gone
but he turned it down to "study" for a test that he didn't have on
Monday. Sitting down in his room, it brought back some memories, the fun
times that we had had together.

	"How are you doing Chris? I've missed talking with you." Michael
looked up from his studies, placing his books down past his feet. There was
something on his mind that I had a feeling he wanted to talk about but I
couldn't get around to asking him, instead being put on the explanation
side of the conversation.

	"I'm annoyed at Pike right now. I really wanted to make the
starting line but he instead put other players on. It's been bugging me and
while I know it's not right, I can't shake being mad at Pike." I hadn't
told Michael yet about what I had done with Pike and while I probably
should have, I didn't want to talk too much about it. In a way though that
was probably partly my issue of being irritated with Pike.

      Michael just sat there, knowing there was more to the story that I
wasn't telling him. "Chris I totally understand where you are coming from,
partly the joys of playing on Rugby, but you have to look at it from Pike's
perspective as well. He is the team captain. He has to watch over everyone
on the team. If he were to start picking favorites then part of the team
would begin to feel alienated."

      It was starting to sink in that Pike did mean well for the rest of
the team, not just me. Michael continued on with his whole leadership
explanation, "Sometimes the worst part of being a leader is giving others
the change to play. It means that you have to pick and choose who you think
deserves to play not just those who are skilled enough to play. It's hard
to please everyone Chris."

      Sighing heavily, I admitted defeat. It was a simple explanation and
hearing it from Michael seemed to cement it in. I needed to let the other's
play. I had always been so eager to play that I really hadn't looked out
for the others when it came to actually team comradeship. "I guess I have
always been kind of a commanding player, even when I sucked. It's just..."
Dropping off there I looked back at all the practices and tournaments that
I played, focusing on how much of the time I actually played on the
field. It was a lot of time.

      Looking up to Michael, I felt like I had just complained to him. I
felt like a whiner and grumbler. "How are you doing?"

      Michael just sat there in his pajamas, the plaid cross cutting of
black lines over the deep blue seeming to contrast with his body type. As
was normal for Michael when it was night time, he was shirtless; his toned
rugby body reminding me of what was no longer accessible. "I'm fine. Things
have been a little hectic around campus but I am surviving." There was a
glint in his eye that something more was going on and I wanted to prod more
from him but from his composure he gave me the impression he wasn't going
to talk about it.

      Peering into his eyes, I tried to find what he was hiding but it was
so mysterious that I was forced to give up. Sighing, I reached out to hug
him, letting him know I am here for him whatever it was. "OK, well if you
want to talk, I am here for you."

      Michael gripped me tight, a sense of the old passion reverberating
through his hands. "I know."

*****

	Saturday came around and I was in a slightly better mood. Traveling
with Bryan and Zach to San Bernardino we had a good conversation of how
this was the last tournament before Spring Break. The topic slightly got
shifted to spring break and what our plans were, then we all remembered
that Pike had mentioned that there is a weeklong tournament down in San
Diego that we are attending. It was a double edged sword, our plans for
individual fun being squashed while also being raised because we were
spending Spring Break in San Diego.

	Arriving at Cal State San Bernardino we all piled out and rushed
inside to find our group. We were already running late due to traffic and
when we found Pike there was a slight scowl on his face for our
tardiness. Our first game was against CSU Northridge and as we prepped in a
haste to compete, we realized that there was a strong possibility we would
win.

	Looking down the grassy field, we took note of Northridge and their
team. They were a good up and coming team but with us being more
established, Pike made sure we had adequate training under our belts, even
with all the issues that had been happening.

	The game started at 9 o'clock sharp. As I watched the team perform
I heard a larger shouting match coming from the court behind me. Looking to
see who was competing, I saw that it was Fullerton; their cohesiveness
looking a little off than normal. Walking up to their court, I watched as
they fought for their point.

	It was like watching a train wreck. Normally I would have felt
happy that they were playing such a crappy game but I couldn't help but
feel bad for them. Ever since Kyle had left all unification had fallen
apart; the cracks of the team really showing. Seeing that Ellie was
playing, I moved up to the field line and shouted out "Come on Ellie! Come
on Fullerton!"

	This felt weird me rooting for the rival but they were starting off
lousy, a lead by Dominguez Hills of 2 to 0. Granted it was still early in
the game, the timer showing just over 15 minutes left, it was not looking
to be good for Fullerton.

      Looking back at my team it was no surprise to me that we were
winning. Northridge had managed to get a point in but the score was still
our lead, 3 to 1. Moving back to my field, I watched as we
performed. Unlike Fullerton our team seemed to know how everything worked,
every cut on point and every pivot extended to its fullest potential. As we
gained another point onto our lead, I called out to see if anyone wanted me
to sub for them.

      Tyler called me in, allowing me to slap his hand as we
switched. Moving up to the team, I looked to Rachel as she was the team
leader for this game. Playing handler for the team is often times one of
the hardest roles, the position of having to organize players and tell them
all where to go. Filling in for Tyler I was an end zone player, the one who
would either cut short and run long or cut long and come back short for an
open pass.

      I had no problem losing my mark, the little Hispanic player
struggling at times to keep up with me. He looked to be a freshman as well,
though not nearly as fit as I was. It seemed like the game flew by, the ten
minutes that we had to play seemingly moving faster than a normal minute
should. I only took a break once, Pike filling in for me when Northridge
managed to score a point.

      Walking off the field to allow the next team to play, I moved over to
catch my breath and a drink of water. Our stuff was not too far from
Fullerton's and as I grabbed my water bottle, I noticed Ellie move up. "Hey
how did you guys do?" I asked between gulps.

      Ellie was very demoralized, evidence that they didn't fare as well as
they had wanted to. "We won but just barely. The final score was 5 to 4."
Even with the win it was clear of the frustration in her voice.

      Looking over the team, I could tell they were tired. "It's weird not
having Kyle on your team. I mean granted he and I didn't end things too
well but still he was a great player. He really seemed to bring your team
together."

      Ellie snorted, showing a slight fire at the statement. "You have no
idea. Ever since he left, the moral seemed to have dropped a lot. Victoria
is doing her best and the team knows but she can be a bit hard on us."

      I didn't know what to say. I mean I felt bad for them, almost kind of
responsible even though Kyle left for different reasons. Before I could say
anything more, Pike came up to me and pulled me back to the team. We were
about to go against Fullerton for the next game and he wanted to give a
prep talk to us.

      Going against Fullerton was like facing a whole new team. Ellie was
not lying that the team moral had all but died on their team. I covered
both Ian and Will, possibly their next best players to Kyle but even still
I felt I could run circles around them. In a way I did as I performed my
cuts, my team working a butterfly formation to work up the field.

      Victoria herself seemed depressed, her knowing that her team was
almost on the verge of falling apart. In a way we almost started to take it
easy on them, since it was clear we were going to win. While we still
fought to protect our end zone we allowed them easier passes, forcing them
back if they got too close to the goal. As we started to take it easy on
them, our sloppiness started to take over, them getting two points in. It
didn't help much as we won 10-2 when the game was over.

      Shaking hands with them, I felt bad for their loss of power. This
once great force was struggling to stay alive. By the end of the weekend,
it was clear to see that we had won. CSU Los Angeles was the only other
team that was close to beating us but in the end they still lost, the final
score of that game 8 to 7. The other teams were not too surprised that we
won but we all took it in stride, especially when we had a great enthusiasm
behind our games. We encouraged active engagement from other teams and we
made it as relaxing as possible.

      Unlike my previous rides to and from San Bernardino with Bryan and
Zach, my final ride back to Long Beach was with Pike and it was very
weird. Looking out the window I reflected on how things had changed between
us. Every time we were with a group things seemed to be normal but when we
were alone there was an eerie stillness that hung in the air. Finally I had
to talk. Turning to look forward at the freeway, I blurted it out, "Pike
are we ever going to get back to being normal?"

	Pike didn't answer for a few seconds then pulled off the freeway. I
knew that when he got off on the wrong off ramp that he did hear. Pulling
into a parking lot, he silently turned off the car. I suddenly felt nervous
that I had done something wrong. Dread began to fill my stomach. Pike just
sat there in his seat before speaking. "What we did was a mistake Chris. I
want to forgive you, I really do, but I need to forgive myself first. It's
not just that though; Ally is still mad at me, even though we have kind of
moved on. I knew she is."

	It did hit me hard as the realization slammed upon me as
well. Coughing out, I made my statement about Ally, "Yea I haven't really
talked with her much since that night. I don't know what to say. Right now
I think its best I just give her space."

	Pike turned to me and with his deep green eyes; he rested his hand
on my shoulder. "Chris, you have heard the saying don't burn your bridges
right? Well even when the bridges are completely destroyed, they can be
rebuilt. It will take a lot of hard work and effort but it is worth it if
you care enough for that person."

	We both sat there in the car thinking over our actions before Pike
started it back up. It was clear that time would hopefully mend the hurting
process but it felt to me that time was only hurting it more. Driving back
we managed to talk about the spring break trip and how much fun it was
going to be. Pike looked to be super psyched up for it, telling me that
over 50 teams will be competing there. That only got me more interested in
it, the thought of a weeklong tournament sounding all more appealing.

	Dropping me off at the dorms, I looked to Pike as I shut the
door. "I hope things work out for you and Ally. I feel bad for causing the
problem."

	Pike looked out too me, simply saying "I do to. Thank you Chris."
It was a solemn statement but I knew he was trying.

	Watching as he drove off, I turned to walk into the dorm quad. As I
passed the dining hall, I noticed Michael and Skyler chatting off near my
former hall. I was completely surprised they knew each other. Moving up to
them, and unintentionally interrupting their conversation, I said hi. "Hey
Michael, Skyler. I didn't know you two knew each other."

	Skyler looked up at me first, his long sleeve shirt hung tight to
his skin. It was a typical baseball t-shirt but it seemed to fit Skyler
well, the white and black matching with his olive hair. "Hey Chris. Yea we
have the same bio class together."

	This was a surprise to me. Skyler was an upperclassman, why was he
taking biology? "Which bio class? Lower division biology?"

	Skyler shrugged his shoulders, "Yea my advisor screwed me over. We
both missed it and before I can take any upper division classes I have to
finish biology. Michael is my lab partner."

	Michael looked up to me, surprised that I knew Skyler as well. He
was wearing his typical Abercrombie clothing, the polo shirt his signature
style. "How do you know Skyler Chris?"

	I was at a loss for what to say. Umm yea I helped Skyler come back
from being suicidal. That is not something that I would really want to
say. Stammering, I try to find the right words to say. Looking to Skyler, I
formulate the wrong words.

	Skyler thankfully comes to my help, informing me of something I was
surprised to hear. "Michael knows." Skyler turns to Michael and holds his
hands, "Chris was there when I hit my low." I instantly knew what Michael
had been holding back two days ago, the way Skyler was holding his hands
and the way they looked into each other's eyes. Skyler explained my
involvement in his life, "Chris has been there for me since then and vice
versa. Also I hope things went well with my team." Skyler focuses his
attention to me, "I did tell them and Austin backed me up the entire
way. Actually most of the team did."

      I had a feeling he had told his team but hearing it from him
solidified my suspicions. Crossing my arms, I looked confused at him. "Why?
What prompted you to come out?"

	Skyler just shrugged his shoulders, "I just got tired of the
bullshit they kept tossing out about gays. I got tired of hearing fag this
and queer that. Even Austin was getting sick of it."

	Michael quipped in, "Yea you should have seen him a few weeks
ago. He was so irritated during bio. I had to explain how things had
changed on the rugby team since I came out. That's actually one of the
reasons why we have been hanging out so much."

	While I felt very happy for them, this was suddenly becoming a
little uncomfortable for me. I was not expecting a budding relationship
between the two of them. Rubbing my hands together, I step back, making a
statement with the movement, "I didn't mean to interrupt. I need to head
back to my hall to go shower. I'll talk with you guys later ok?"

	Michael looked out at me, him still wanting to say something but
the words not coming out. He didn't need to say it. I could see it in his
eyes that he felt like he was hurting me. I tried not to show my anguish
but it still got out. Quickly turning to head away, I started to walk away.

	Before I got ten feet away, a voice called out to me, "Chris
wait. Hang on; I wanted to ask you something." I turn around to see Skyler
moving up to me. Michael waits there on the bench looking out at the two of
us.

	Looking at Skyler, then out to Michael I uttered, "Umm what's up?"

	Skyler looks at me, a care and compassion echoing in every word he
says. He had obviously thought this through. "I know this is a weird
question to ask but I was wondering if it would be ok with you if I took
Michael out on a date. I know you two have a history and I don't want to
get in between it but I really think he's cute. I think he's interested as
well but I am not 100% sure yet."

	Holding my composure as best I could, I smile weakly, "Skyler,
Michael is a great guy. Take care of him." I was shocked that Skyler would
ask something like this out of me but in a way I was glad to know he
respected me this much. "He is interested in you. Trust me."

	The words stung as they left my lips and I hoped they were true. I
may not have been the one for Michael but I hoped that Skyler could be that
guy. Looking past Skyler, I saw Michael rubbing his palms together, his
head facing the ground. As Skyler started to walk back, his face came up
smiling. Then he looked out to me, the smile waivered but held.

	I suddenly felt very alone as I walked to my room. I was happy for
the two of them but it was hard to see Michael moving on. And with Skyler
of all guys... I mean the two of them fit well as a couple. I wish I could
have been that couple. Closing the door into my room, I slid down the door
and sobbed alone.


Well now... I am happy for Michael and Skyler but Chris, man I feel bad for
that guy. He has always had a guy by his side and now he seems to be losing
everyone. It will be interesting to see how the coming chapters play out.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Write in and I will do my best to get back
to you as soon as possible. Also if you could donate a dollar or two to
help keep the site up and running that would be great. Take care everyone!