Date: Tue, 27 Dec 2005 17:09:23 EST
From: Heavensforlife@aol.com
Subject: They Say- Chapter 12

**Standard disclaimer... contains depiction of gay sex... continue at your
own discretion.**

	They say never to judge a book by its cover. They say that things
are not always what they seem and that as soon as we begin to take things
at face value is the moment we are in for a big surprise.

	Zach- I didn't have a class until 12 that afternoon, so Chris and I
slept in, too tired from our all-nighter to do anything but order room
service and lounge around the suit.
	The rest of the day passed quickly and uneventfully, as did the
rest of the week. I saw Chris a few times, but our busy schedules made it
hard to hook up. Besides, he was really nervous about being seen together
on campus, something he didn't explain and I didn't push. We did meet one
night at my place for a quickee. I offered to let him stay the night, but
he refused, dashing back to his apartment.
	I would be a liar to deny that I was falling in love with Chris,
and when he suggested we go back to our romantic hotel this weekend, I
couldn't help but say yes.

	Denton- The next couple of days were stressful, with my full class
load plus all the bullshit the brothers of the Tribe made us do. We had
mandatory study hall at night, plus we all had to be in the dining room for
mandatory dinner, plus they threw these mandatory parties almost every
night that resulted in mandatory sex with Glass, not that I minded the last
part so much, but hey, a guy gets tired.
	By Thursday I was so worn out I was not looking forward to the
camping trip Glass, his friend Mitchell, Mitchell's little and I were
taking this weekend.
	I guess this is the price I had to pay for having a 'perfect life'.

	Jesse- I talked to Matt every night that week. It was almost
beginning to feel like the old days again, when we used to see each other
all the time and new everything that was going on in each other's lives.
	I saw Brooklyn a lot as well, and we had our share of sex in
between classes, but I was keeping him at a distance. He didn't seem to
mind my vague reasons I couldn't go out with him; he nonchalantly said we
should reschedule.
	Charles and I barely saw each other. He was out until really late
most nights, not even coming home altogether on other nights. The few times
I did see him, he obviously avoided me. I would ask him a question and he
would dodge it with some swim practice or lame excuse as to were he needed
to go. I could tell he was dating someone, but I couldn't figure out why he
was so closed in about it.
	As the week drew on, I made plans to take a bus to visit Matt for
the weekend.

	Charles- I called Brooklyn the day after our wild romp and
confessed how great it had been for me, something I rarely did with guys (I
usually didn't have wait to long for them to call me). We made plans to
meet up the next day. After that, we made plans to meet up the day after
that.
	There were nights I didn't get home until really late in the
morning because I was at Brooklyn's messing around. Other nights, I would
stay over.
	I couldn't bear to see Jesse, even though he seemed to be doing
fine with Matt. Still, I stayed away from the apartment as much as
possible.
	Brooklyn noticed Jesse's distance, asking me if there was something
going on with him. I obviously couldn't tell him about Matt, so I decided
not to say anything and fiend ignorance.
	When Brooklyn told me that Jesse was going of town for the weekend,
I couldn't resist inviting him to my first swim meet in San Antonio that
weekend, and he couldn't help but oblige.

	Denton- "This is gonna rock," Glass said energetically. He was
decked from head to toe in traditional preppy boy camping attire. He had
his rugged khaki's over hiking boots, a smooth argyle shirt with a yellow
hunting vest over it, all topped off with a John Deere hat. "I can't
believe you aren't as excited about this."
	"I've just never been camping, that's all," I said for the
umpteenth time. He wondered why I wasn't excited about the prospect of
spending two nights in a four by four tent with three other guys, two of
which I barely knew, being eaten alive by mosquitoes and ants and begging
pneumonia to get me at night?
	As if he was reading my mind, Glass said lightly, sitting down on
the bed next to me "Relax. I promise you, this is not your run of the mill
camping trip. Now help me load the Tahoe and let's go."
	He had been on this camping trip business all week. Mitchell,
Glass' friend, and Dylan, Mitchell's little, were supposed to be heading
out with any minute, so I grabbed my pack and followed Glass out to the
parking garage.
	"I just don't understand why people can't have fun at
home... indoors," I whined on the way down.
	"Because nature is key, Denton. Stop being such a baby and lighten
up. All you've done all week is complain about this trip," he said, to my
surprise not showing any agitation in his voice.
	"And all you've done all week is talk about this trip," I added.
	He didn't say anything. As soon as we got to Glass' brand new
looking fire red Tahoe, the latest addition to his ensemble of vehicles,
Mitchell and Dylan pulled up. They loaded their packs in the bag after ours
and within minutes we were driving out, headed into the wilderness, which
happened to be the last place I wanted to be going.

	Jesse- "So what are you're plans this weekend?" he asked me,
stuffing his swimwear and travel outfits into his travel case.
	"I'm going to Matt's," I said quietly, flipping through my
magazine. We hadn't really talked all that much this week, probably because
of our busy schedules.
	"Have you told Brooklyn?" he asked.
	"Yeah. I told him I was visiting family, which technically I am," I
said, still not making eye contact and continuing to flip through my GQ. It
felt like Charles was interrogating me and it was getting on my nerves.
	"Just because you call him daddy doesn't make him family," he said
teasingly throwing a pair of socks at my face. I laughed and threw it
back. He finished packing his things and sat down on his bed.
	"What time does your flight leave?" I asked him, shifting the
subject.
	"In about an hour. I should head to the airport," he said, yet he
wasn't moving.
	I could tell he didn't approve of me two-timing Brooklyn and I
didn't know why, but every time I talked to Charles, I ended up feeling
guilty.
	Out of nowhere he said, "I think you should dump Brooklyn."
	For the first time in a while, I looked into his eyes. Sitting up
straight, I asked him why.
	"Because," he said, "I'm pretty sure he cares about you. And it's
not fair to lead him on like this only to creep behind his back. I really
think you should level with him and tell him the truth." On some level, I
knew that Charles was right, but I couldn't help but get defensive.
	"Weren't you the one," I started, "That was telling me that this
was college, that I should have fun and be free and not worry about
anything? That I should keep my options open and forget about being
faithful and worrying about the future? What happened to that philosophy
Charles?" I had raised my voice and I could see the reluctance in his face
as he answered.
	"Its just that what you're doing to this guy really isn't fair," he
began before I cut him off.
	"How are you going to be on Brooklyn's side when you barely even
know him? We mess around, that's all, and it's not like we're in some
committed relationship. When it was Matt that I was cheating on you didn't
even care, so what is it about me and Brooklyn that has you bent out of
shape?"
	"Nevermind," he said. "Just forget I even said anything." He
gathered his things quietly and headed out to the airport.

	Charles- I was pissed off. Every time Brooklyn and me messed
around, I always ended up feeling guilty. I always felt like I was
betraying a friend. But on my way to the airport, I was so pissed of at
Jesse for blowing up in my face, I vowed never to feel that way ever again.
	I kept thinking about what he said, basically calling me a
hypocrite, all the way to the airport. I was beyond angry.
	About halfway to DFW, my phone rang and I answered it, obviously
sounding flustered.
	"Goodness, dude. Is everything alright?" it was Brooklyn's voice on
the other line.
	"I'm sorry. I'm ok," I said with my best attempt at a calm
voice. "I'm just worried about my swim meet is all."
	"Oh, well, you'll do great, dude," he reassured me. "I just got off
the phone with Jesse."
	My heart skipped a beat and I swerved the car, narrowly missing the
guardrail before screeching back on to the highway. Brooklyn must have
heard the car tires make the sharp correction because he asked if
everything was alright again.
	"What did he say?" I asked, icily.
	"He wants me to spend the weekend. I told him I would," he said
nervously like he was waiting for a stormy reaction.
	Excellent at keeping my feelings from showing, I simply asked "What
about his road trip?"
	"Cancelled. He said he isn't going anymore." Brooklyn still sounded
nervous about disappointing me.
	"Oh. Well you two have fun," I said slightly sarcastically.
	"So I won't be coming down for your swim meet," he said slowly,
like I had missed that fact when he announced he was staying with Jesse.
	"I gathered," I replied shortly.
	"Oh. I just thought you'd be upset," he said carefully.
	"You're a grown man, Brooklyn. Do what you want because I won't
stop you."
	"Ok, well, I guess I'll see you on Monday when you get back."
	"I'll hold my breath," I added sarcastically for good measure
before hanging up the phone, pulling over into the next gas station parking
lot and banging my head against my steering wheel.

	Jesse- As soon as Charles left, I got to thinking. I think best
when I'm angry, by the way, but that's neither here nor there. The fact is,
it rattled me that Charles was defending Brooklyn. I mean, until this
afternoon, I really didn't think he knew or cared much about anything that
had to do with Brooklyn.
	The thing that made it a little queer to me though, was the fact
that in all my cheating on Matt, Charles had said nothing about it. In
fact, he was the one that encouraged me to mess around and 'do what horny
college studs do.' Why all of a sudden did he have this interest in me
taking Brooklyn's feelings into consideration?
	Not a minute after he closed the door behind him, I realized what
it was. Brooklyn had said something to Charles last weekend when they were
hanging out. He had told Charles that he wanted to be more than fuck
buddies and that he had feelings for me. It was the only logical
explanation. So I was forced to make a decision.
	Do I continue leading Brooklyn on like Charles said I was doing? Or
do I tell him the truth? Before even deciding what I was going to tell
Brooklyn, I picked up the phone, called Matt and made up a lame excuse for
why I wasn't coming over that weekend. Then I called Brooklyn and told him
we needed to talk.

	Zach-
	"Come over at like 8 tonight and we'll head out. I have few things
I need to take care of before then," Chris said over the phone. I was
excited because I had never once seen the inside of his apartment. We'd
messed around here all the time and gone to hotels and stuff off campus,
but he always had a reason for us not to back to his place. Either his
roommate would be home or it was a mess or something or other, but now I
was finally gonna get to see it. I hung up the phone and immediately went
on the hunt for a killer outfit for tonight.

	Denton- I had a splitting headache halfway to this weekend
wonderland destination. I couldn't believe I was actually going camping,
something I had always refused to do. My dad worked to long and hard for
situation to ever come up other than once when my friend invited me to go
with the men in his family. I was terrified by the prospect of ending up
like the people that went camping in the movies and came up with every
excuse to avoid the trip. It's trite, I know, but the fact is, I'm not a
very enthusiastic camper.
	"Stop worrying, its gonna be fun," Glass reassured from the front
seat.
	"You keep saying that Glass," I exploded suddenly, "but somehow I
don't think the idea of sleeping in a tent that will be attacked or blown
away or ravaged by wild creatures is fun. Somehow dragging pounds of
coolers filled with food and carrying packs that feel like they are filled
with bricks up a mountain is not my idea of fun. For some odd reason, maybe
I'm not man enough, but being eaten by bears and mosquitoes and wild stream
eels while I pee behind trees and freeze my ass off sleeping on the floor
does not sound fun to me. Is there something wrong with that?"
	I stopped yelling long enough to realize all three guys were
staring at me with a loss of words. My face was beat read and I swear I had
a vein popping out of my forehead.
	"Wow," Glass finally said a minute later, breaking the tension. "I
had no idea you felt that way."
	"I do," I said shortly facing forward like a little kid.
	"Well, listen kid, try and relax," he said calmly.
	"I will not relax," I cut him off.
	For the first time, I noticed the two guys at the back snickering
at my childish behavior. I gave them the devil's stare and asked, "Is
something funny," before they erupted into violent laughter, joined next by
Glass. I was pissed, and there was nothing I could do about it.

	Charles- I love planes. I'm weird like that. I always have though,
ever since I was little. I used to take trips with my mom and dad when he
was still around and I remember sitting between them and feeling secure,
like everything was right.
	But I didn't have that feeling tonight. I sat there at a couple
thousand feet up in the air, thinking about everything and nothing in
particular. I was mad at Jesse for being such an ass about the Brooklyn
thing. Why didn't he just realize he had something good in Matt and stop
trying to be selfish? It got on my nerves how he wanted everyone and
everything to be his. And I was mad at Brooklyn. We'd talked about this a
million times; how stupid he was for always running back to Jesse every
time he called. I mean, I guess that's what I get, for being the guy he's
cheating with and not the guy he's dating, but how dense do you have to be
not to realize you're being two-timed. I'd thought about telling him about
Matt and letting him break up with Jesse, but what would that solve? Jesse
would still get pissed if I started dating Brooklyn, almost as pissed as if
he found out Brooklyn and I were doing it. And, to make things worse,
Brooklyn would probably be pissed off at me for not telling him sooner.
	So I sat there, on the plane, pissed off at pretty much everything,
knowing that all of this shit I was going through would probably affect my
race tomorrow.

	Zach- I may not be the smartest man, but it really didn't take me
long to figure it out. The place was incredibly neat, almost too neat. It
was almost as if no one lived there. The walls were bare, no pictures
hung. The furniture was standard at best. Nothing in the apartment screamed
'student,' or 'gay' or even 'lived in' for that matter. Most of the
cupboards were empty I discovered after some preliminary snooping. I had
made it a point to show up early, and like I had hoped, Chris was still in
the shower. So when he got out, I was sitting cross-legged on the bed that
barely looked slept in.
	"Why didn't you want me to see your place earlier?" I asked
seriously while he toweled dried. For once, I wasn't even distracted by his
hot physique.
	"Because it was a mess," he explained.
	"Try again," I said shortly.
	He faced me with a confused look halfway through towel drying his
hair. His manhood was hanging low, but I didn't pay attention; I just
continued to stare him straight in the eye.
	"I don't know what you're talking about."
	"No more games, Chris. You don't live here do you?"
	"What are you talking about," he asked wrapping the towel low on
his waist and walking over to the bed. "This is my apartment."
	"In theory," I replied quickly. "But you really don't live here do
you?"
	"Were else would I live, Zach?" he asked desperately.
	"You tell me," I said. "Tell me why you never invited me here and
why this place looks like a prison cell and why there's no pictures on the
walls and why there's only two outfits in your closet and nothing in your
fucking cupboards. What the hell, Chris?"
	He could sense I was angry because I had figured it out. He didn't
even try anymore, but I wasn't going to back down until I heard him say it.
	"Ok, fine," he said slowly, looking me in the eye defeated. "I
don't live here. I just decided to rent this apartment so I could work on
my graduate dissertation."
	I didn't say anything but my gaze spoke volumes. I didn't give a
shit about his dissertation. All I wanted was for him to tell me the truth
that I already new.
	"I already know, Chris," I said softly. "The late nights, always at
a hotel out of town. Never a phone call except while you're at work. Not
inviting me to your place. Do you think I'm stupid? Why didn't you just
tell me that you were in a relationship?"
	"Because it's more complicated than that," he said softly, his face
flushing red.
	"Complicated like how?"
	"Zach," he said diverting his gaze. "I'm married."

	They say that surprises are those things we refused to acknowledge
were true, that somewhere in our subconscious the truth was known all
long. They say that we should never take things for what they seem.

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