Date: Thu, 2 Mar 2006 05:21:25 EST
From: Grassisb@aol.com
Subject: Travelin' Thru ~ 3

As always, if you're not supposed to be here, please leave. In other words,
if men kissing, fucking, or doing anything remotely sexual offends,
disgusts, or angers you then you should get out of here. This story
includes sex between two men. But it is at heart, a love story. Plenty of
sap, romance, and professions of love. So be warned. This work is
copyrighted and may not be used without explicit permission from the
author.

Thank you to everyone has sent notes and comments. They are greatly
appreciated. Keep em' coming.

Comments, suggestions, complaints are all much appreciated and welcomed at
grassisb@aol.com.

"Down" - Dolly Parton

Enjoy,
Anthony

>From last time...

"Why can't you just give me a chance?"

I laughed bitterly. "I can't Alan. I... I just can't." I started to walk
away and then turned around to face him. "You're my ex-boyfriend's new
boyfriend, trick, bootie call. Whatever. I can't be your friend. I'm sorry
but I can't."

"Why?" He asked again. This time with tears in his eyes. "Why?" This time a
bit quieter.

I debated on whether or not I should tell him the truth. But I had to. I
was too emotionally drained to try and lie now. I looked at him and told
him exactly why we couldn't be friends.

"Because I'm falling in love with you."

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Three - Down

~~~~~~~~~~

My voicemail was buzzing with activity.

Message one... "Lukie, it's Em. Call me back."

Message two... "Luke it's Alan. Please call me."

Message three... "It's Pete. Call me as soon as you get this. Be safe."

Message four... "It's Emma again, Lukie. Call me, please."

I pressed the end button on my phone and clicked it shut. There were still
three messages left.  But I knew who they were from. And what they were
about.

"Fuck!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

How do I get myself into this shit. Why me? That's all I'd like to know. I
know I can be a drama queen at times but it's just...

"Fuck!" I screamed again, this time louder as I slumped down on the ground
hitting my head in the process. I must have blanked out because the next
thing I knew, a guy was standing over me.

"Easy there buddy. You alright."

"I'm... I'm..." I stammered wondering where he came from.

He smiled. "Relax." He placed his hand on my shoulder. "Jesus. You're
shaking. You okay?"He asked genuinely concerned.

I nodded. "I'm fine. I just..." I just what? What the fuck had just
happened? I saw a stupid movie, reacted horribly, and told a guy I barely
knew I was falling in love with him. I was the picture of mental insanity.

"I'm Hank." He said smiling.

I nodded. "Luke." I said still a little surprised someone had witnessed my
prissy queen act. "I'm...  I'm Luke." I added even though it was pointless.

He laughed. "I kinda figured that." He sat down next to me.

"Bad day?" He asked. His voice was warm. Normally I'm a shy person who
doesn't talk to strangers easily but for some reason it seemed easy to talk
to him.

I sighed. "Kinda."

"Kinda?" He asked skeptically.

I just began to talk, not really thinking about what I was saying.

"I'm in love with my ex-boyfriend's..." I stopped, not knowing exactly what
Alan was to Will.

He nodded. "Your ex-boyfriend's what?"

"...boyfriend.  I'm not sure why. I don't even think it makes sense but I'm
hopelessly, madly in love with him." I stopped to get my breath. "And then
I saw "Brokeback Mountain" tonight and he was there and I just lost it." I
lowered my voice to a whisper. "I love him but I don't know what to do
about it. I don't... I can't love him."

I had finished my little sob story and sat there in the middle of nowhere,
next to a complete stranger wondering just what I was doing.

"It was a good movie." He stated flatly.

"What?" I asked confusedly.

He smiled and punched my arm. "Brokeback. It was a good movie." He fished a
pack of cigarettes from his pocket and took one out. "You want?" He asked
but I didn't. He lit it and soon gray puffs of smoke were being exhaled
from his mouth. He looked like he was pondering something. "What part
affected you like it did?" He asked suddenly.

I shrugged a little embarrassed. "Not really sure."

"Bullshit. If you reacted the way you did. Some part had to trigger it. The
end?" He asked.

"I didn't stay for the end. It was just some stupid part when Jack tells
Ennis..."

"... It could be like this... just like this, always." He said interrupting
me.

Alright. So this guy really began to scare me now. He must have sensed it
because he laughed.

"Relax. It was either that or that "I wish I knew how to quit you" line and
you don't seem to be a cliched kind of guy. I figured you'd go for the
other line." He took a long drag from the cigarette and blew the smoke out
dramatically, slowly. "So you love him?" He asked matter of factly.

I was confused. I was tired. I was hungry. And I was so not in the mood to
be talking to this guy right now. "Yeah." I said and then, "...no. I don't
know. It doesn't matter anyway. Nothing can come of it."

"Why? Does he have feelings for you?" He asked me.

"I... I don't know..." I was getting annoyed now. Where did this guy come
off? "...I gotta go." I said and started to get up but he stopped me.

"You need somebody to talk to. If you trust me, I'd be happy to listen." He
said gently. "You think you're a big old drama queen right? Think you're
overreacting?" He looked me in the eyes.  "You aren't." He smiled. "Young
love. It's wonderful when it's going right but when it doesn't watch the
fuck out." He laughed and much to my surprise I did too.

He stood up. "I wanna introduce you to someone." He smiled. "That is if you
trust me. Do you?"

I did. As strange as it sounded. As weird as it might have appeared, I did
trust him. He kinda reminded me of my father a little bit. He was probably
in his late 30's. He was a big guy. Big shoulders and big hands.

He held his hand out. "Come on then."

~~~~~~~~~~

"We're on the second floor."

We, Hank and I that is, were in front of a nice little two story house. He
led me through the alley to a side entrance.

Hank fished his keys out of his pocket and then turned to face me. "I'm not
some freak or something. I don't wanna have sex with you or anything like
that." He said nervously. "Not that you aren't a cute kid. But that's
it. You're just a kid and..."

I smiled. "Relax. I don't wanna have sex with you either. Not that you
aren't a cute old guy or anything like that."

He laughed. "See you're not so sad anymore. And I am so not old." He
pouted.

He opened the door and I followed him up the stairs. I laughed at the sheer
and utter ridiculousness of what had happened tonight. I told Alan, Will's
boyfriend, that I was falling in love with him despite the fact that I knew
him for not even three days. Then I met a complete stranger who I told all
of this too. And now I'm at his house. Just another day in my life I
suppose.

Hank opened the door on the second landing and led me in. He smiled. "This
is home."

It was a cozy little apartment. You walked into the living room which was
quite large. It was nicely furnished with dark wood furniture. There were
paintings all over the place. Some leaned against the walls, some on the
walls. I suspected that someone in the family did them.

I could hear music in the kitchen and something smelled awfully good.

"Hey stranger, you're home." Came a sweet voice from the kitchen.

Hank laughed. "You aren't cooking in the nude are ya? Cause we have
company."

I heard a laugh and then appearing in the doorway was one of the most drop
dead gorgeous men I'd ever seen. Well maybe not as gorgeous as Alan, but
gorgeous nonetheless.

He smiled and walked over to me. "I'm Simon."

I smiled nervously. "L... Luke."

Simon laughed. "You're cute." He turned to Hank and pecked him on the
lips. "So to what do we owe the pleasure of a guest."

Hank pulled him into a hug and gave him an incredibly passionate kiss that,
from the looks of it, included lots and lots of tongue.

They pulled apart and Hank smiled. "Wanted to show him how two people could
fall in love at such a young age..." He looked directly at me. "... and
stay that way."

Simon laughed. "Is that all? Well with kisses like that, you can bring
people home anytime you want."

Hank smiled. "Luke here had a bad day and I figured he could use some
unbiased advice from two old stogies who know a thing or two about what
he's going through."

"Is that all?" Simon asked. He shrugged. "Well dinner first then. You tell
us your problems during dinner." He smiled. "Then we solve them during
desert. I hope you like stew."

I nodded. "Love it."

He smiled. "Let's eat then."

I followed these two men who I hardly knew into the kitchen to eat
dinner. And as surreal and odd as it might have seemed, somehow it
wasn't. It just wasn't.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Hank and I met in the ninth grade." Simon started as we sat in the den
with coffee. Hank was cuddled to his side while I sat in the recliner.

"He was adorable." He chimed in.

Simon smiled. "Of course I was." He pecked Hank's cheek.

I smiled. I'd never been around this freeness between two men before. In
Mississippi, you don't exactly see many homosexual exchanges on the
streets. Of course we're here. There are many.  And there are gay clubs and
gay bars and gay groups and all of that. But you never see the hand holding
or the intimate things like you would in more progressive states.

Will was never like that. At the movies or out to dinner. He never acted as
though I was his boyfriend. He was sweet and kind but if people ever looked
at us, they'd just assume that we were simply friends out. We went to a gay
bar once but it was disgusting and filthy, the bar that is, and we left
after twenty minutes. Mostly we just stayed at my house and watched movies
and did... well... other things.

"You okay there Luke?" Simon asked, breaking me from my reverie.

I jumped a little. "Oh... yeah... I'm... I was just thinking... You guys
just seem so..." I smiled again. "... good together."

Simon smiled. "Well now... we do now."

I looked at him confused.

"I had a crush on Hank from the minute I laid eyes on him." He began. "I
knew I was gay in the eighth grade when Marcie Walsh tried to kiss me and I
threw up." He laughed. "I kid you not.  Anyway, I went to high school
thinking I'd meet the man of my dreams and we'd live happily ever after."
He winked at me. "I was and will always be a hopeless romantic."

"Not a bad thing." Hank interrupted.

"Of course not." Simon continued. "But as you can see, I'm a bit more
feminine than butch old Hank here." He smiled. "I was never ashamed of it
though. If I didn't have a shirt to match my yellow bellbottoms than I just
borrowed one of my sisters. Unfortunately, macho man over here didn't think
the same way. He's lucky if he can match his shoes." He smiled sadly. "High
school was no picnic. I was beat up, taunted and then beat up some more."
He looked up at Hank and then at me. "He did most of the beating." He
sighed. "I was absolutely miserable. I was in love with a guy who loathed
me and enjoyed beating the crap out of me. My parents weren't any help.
They were too busy with their parties and all that shit. My sister was
really the only person I could reach out too." He smiled. "After this big
lug, she's still my best friend."

I smiled, intrigued with their story.

Simon smiled. "So anyway, this went on for awhile. Freshmen and sophomore
year, I was taunted by Hank and his friends constantly. For my hair, my
clothes, my demeanor. Anything and everything. I took it like a good
dutiful fag. I never let them see me cry though. In my eyes, somehow, that
meant they never had the upper hand. They never saw how much they hurt me."
His eyes began to get moist and I know mine did too. He laughed. "And then,
Hank... he... he did the cruelest thing he'd ever do to me."

Hank grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers together. I could tell
he was a bit uncomfortable. He kissed Simon's forehead and it looked like
he was trying very hard to fight back tears.

Simon looked up at him and smiled. "It's okay." He said softly.

Suddenly, I felt a little intrusive. I didn't know these guys and suddenly
they were telling me their history, all this private stuff. Simon must have
noticed my apprehension.

"It's okay Luke." He looked at Hank again. "It's okay." He smiled. "It was
the cruelest thing he'd ever do to me. But it was also the best thing that
ever happened to us as lovers, as..." He smiled.  "...partners." He stopped
for a second and pondered. "It was a cold day. One of those days when you
don't even want to get out of bed. You know. You wake up and the heat is on
and your wrapped up in your blankets and you're just..." He shook his head
back and forth animatedly. "...  cozey. I remember not wanting to get up,
get dressed, do anything. But then I remembered that I had a meeting with
my guidance counselor that day." He smiled. "Yet another way of fate
intervening. School went fine that day. Nothing out of the ordinary. I
remember Susan Egan told me that she loved the way my hair come out." He
brushed his fingers through his hair. "Always did love that girl."

Hank smiled and kissed him again on the cheek.

Simon continued. "It was last period and I didn't have class so I figured
I'd clean out my locker. I wanted to get rid of some stuff." He stopped for
a second. He seemed to be thinking, almost like he was reliving the
moment. He sighed. "One of Hank's friends, Bruce, came running into the
locker room. I figured he was just there to harass me but that day, he
didn't even seem to notice I was there. And that was odd because Bruce
never missed a chance to taunt me. But that day, he was different, he was
distant, worried about something. I asked him and he shrugged me off saying
to go see for myself in the boy's bathroom." He shrugged. "Being the naive
fag who still believes that there'll be peace on earth, I went thinking
that whatever was wrong, I could help with. What I found was Hank laying on
the ground, unconscious. From what I didn't know. My heart stopped. Here
was this guy who I was secretly in love with. This guy who hated me and
taunted me and beat the shit out of me. And he was just laying there." He
laughed bitterly. "If I was smart, I would have guessed that it was a
set-up but I guess I wasn't." He stopped and stared into space, tears now
streaming down his face.

Hank was crying too. But he finished the story. "I raped him." He said with
no emotion whatsoever.

I flinched not exactly expecting that bluntness. I didn't know what to
think. For some reason, again, I felt like I was intruding. Like I
shouldn't have been there.

But Hank just pulled Simon closer to him and continued. "I didn't want to
do it. I knew how he looked at me. I knew what he felt. Deep down, I felt
the same thing. But I couldn't, wouldn't let those feelings come out. It's
the same tired old story. Big macho guy with an even bigger, macho
father. I couldn't be gay. Wouldn't let myself be gay."

Simon smiled through his tears. "You are so gay." He said laughing. He
looked over at me. "You alright?"

I smiled nervously. "Um... yeah... but..." I was beginning to wonder what
the purpose of this story was.

He laughed. "Relax sugar. It gets happier." His smile faded. "They put me
away. My parents that is. Well they didn't put me away. I tried to kill
myself. And they put in this mental hospital. My sister came
everyday. Susan Egan came. But no one else did. I didn't talk, wouldn't
talk.  Wouldn't eat. I just sat there everyday wondering why he did it." He
smiled again. "Then one day, I was sitting in my room and there was a soft
knock on the door." He sighed. "I almost vomited. I thought he was back
to... well back to taunt me. But all of a sudden I heard this voice, this
scared voice. He said, "I'm gay." And then he just started sobbing,
uncontrollable sobs. I was livid. Why should I feel sorry for him. This
monster." He shook his head. "He stopped crying and looked up at me. And
then he said the words I wished, I hoped, I prayed that he'd say since the
day I laid eyes on him."

"I love you." Hank said quietly.

Simon smiled. "Yeah." He shook his head and said very matter of factly,
"And then I punched him. It was the first punch I'd ever thrown. Wasn't a
good one either. I told him to get out and never come back." He
shrugged. "But he did. Everyday for the next two months. He'd sit there.
I'd ignore him. Scream at him. Tell him I hated him. But he stayed." He
wiped his eyes and stretched. "Sweet Jesus, that was a long story. Sorry
bout that."

I smiled. "Don't be. I... thank you for sharing it with me. I... I don't
know what it has to do with me but..."

"You need to let it go." Simon interrupted me.

"What?" I asked confused.

"He doesn't love you." He said with a sad smile.

"Who doesn't love me?" I demanded, getting annoyed. "Alan does love me and
I love... well he loves me."

Simon just sat back and smiled. A smile of victory. "See. I wasn't talking
about Alan. I was talking about whoever the guy was before him."

My cheeks must have turned seven shades of red. "Will." I said sheepishly.

Simon turned to Hank. "Wanna get me a cup of coffee babe?"

Hank took the hint. "Sure." And he made his way to the kitchen.

Simon looked at me. "He cheated?"

I nodded sadly.

"You might not think that what I told ya tonight has anything to do with
your situation." He began. "And you might think me and Hank are just two
nuts who invited some stranger into their home. I guess I'd be thinking the
same thing if I were in your position." He leaned forward and looked me
directly in the eyes. "But my Hank is an excellent judge of character. He
obviously saw something there in that head of yours. You need to forgive
and let yourself be happy. It took Hank ages to stop being so hard on
himself for what he did. To this day, I still don't think he has.  And
you... you didn't even do anything." He stood up. "But you blame yourself
for being a doormat." He smiled. "We have that in common Luke. For years, I
let people walk all over me and wouldn't let myself be... happy,
be... free. Guess what? People don't care about anyone but themselves in
this world. Hank and my situation was different than yours. I'll give you
that. But it all comes down to forgiveness. Forgiveness for
anything. Whether it be rape, murder, cheating.  Anything. You need to
forgive. Will, yourself. And finally, get on with your life. It's the only
way." He shook his head back and forth. "Okay. Enough preaching. So this
Alan... he sounds like a real catch."

I smiled. Alan. Oh God Alan. "He's... sweet and kind and so handsome. He's
just a nice guy."

"And you love him?" He asked. He was nothing if not blunt.

I looked up at him. "Yeah. I do."

He smiled. "Good. You know what to do then."

And with that he walked out of the room.

I sat back and sighed. What the fuck was this? What happened tonight? I met
a total stranger...  two total strangers. And they shared such personal
information with me about them, about their past. I had all this
information, all this advice thrown at me. And what the fuck do I do with
it.

I looked around the room. Next to the desk was a beautiful guitar. Much
nicer than the ratty old one I did. I walked over and fingered the shiny
wood.

"You play?" Hank asked me as he appeared in the doorway.

I shrugged. "Nothing to brag about. Just a few chords here and
there. Enough to entertain myself."

"Sing something then." Came Simon's voice from behind Hank.

I laughed. "I'm not drunk enough to sing in front of people I don't know."

Simon pouted. "Oh come on. You know our life story. You gotta sing for
us. You just gotta.  Plus, if your really good, you might get something out
of it. Come on. Do it, do it, do it." He wailed, trying to act butch but
not succeeding at all.

"Alright." I finally gave in. "But don't say I didn't warn ya."


I picked the guitar up. I didn't even have to think about what I was gonna
sing. The song pretty much described my mood and the whole night's mood for
that matter. I closed my eyes and started strumming lightly.

I spent all my money on everyone else, I just kept handing it out right and
left, They didn't appreciate none of my help, I have found, And I had me a
man, I was so much in love, But he just walked off after using me up, I
cried like a baby, It hurt me so much and I'm down, Yeah, I'm sure down, I
know that I'm down but I'm gonna get up, I just need some time, Just need a
little streak of good luck, And you know that it's rough when your bitting
the dust like I am, You try to do right but tell me where does that get
you, People just use you and then they forget you, But it wont take me
long, To get my feet back on solid ground, When I get my life back in order
again, Well I'll still be willing to help out my friends, And if you need
some body on which to depend, Look and I'll be around, I'll be spending my
money on everyone else, Well I'll just be handing it out right and left,
I'll find a new love, I won't live by myself, I'm just down for now, For
now I'm down.

I strummed a bit more and then stopped. I smiled and opened my eyes to find
both Hank and Simon smiling back at me.

"How in the flying fuck did you turn that song into that?" Hank asked in
amazement.

"You know that song?" I asked surprised.

He looked over at Simon. "My hubby is just about the biggest Dolly fan
ever." He shook his head. "I can't believe you turned that into an acoustic
song. Your voice, your playing. It was brilliant."

I blushed. "Well thanks. I just mess around now and then."

"Bullshit. You could make a living doing this stuff."

I laughed. "Let's not go that far."

He looked at me in all seriousness. "You want a job."

"What?" I asked a bit stunned.

"I need someone to do some shows at the club. You'd be perfect." He said.

"What... what club?" I asked still out of the loop.

Simon stepped in. "Twilight... We kinda own it." He said smiling.

"And you want me to..."

"... Sing." He interrupted me. "They would love you there."

This was a bit more than I could take in one day. "I... I don't
know. Maybe. I guess I could. I'd need to come up with some material... I
just... wow!"

Hank walked over and placed his hand on my shoulders. "Hey. No decision
needs to be made today. You've had a rough one. But..." He said looking me
in the eye. "... I could really use you at the club. Pays two hundred and
fifty a night plus tips."

My eyes must have bugged out of my head.

Hank laughed. "Think about it. Okay."

I smiled, not willing to believe what incredibly good luck I seemed to have
stumbled upon tonight.

"Okay." I told him.

"Good." He clapped his hands together. "Now let's go. I'm gonna drive you
home."

I shook my head. "It's alright... I can walk."

He laughed. "It's late. We kidnaped ya long enough tonight. I'm gonna go
get my coat." He said leaving the room.

Simon stood there and smiled at me. "Your welcome here anytime ya like. I
mean that."

I got a little choked up. "Thanks."

He pulled me into a hug. "Go get him." He whispered in my ear.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Here's my card." Hank said to me as we stood in front of my house. "Call
me tomorrow. After you straighten everything out."

I smiled at him. "How can I... how can I thank you."

He smiled back and ruffled my hair. "By singing in my club." He got serious
for a minute. "I'm glad you freaked out tonight. Simon adores you and
well... I like you a lot already." He pulled me into a hug. "Don't let him
get away Luke. Fight."

I pulled back and smiled. "I will."

He hugged me quick once more and then walked over to the car. He started it
up and began to pull away but then rolled down the window. "Call me."

I smiled. "I will. I promise."

And then he was gone.

I sighed and fished my house key out of my pocket. I opened the door and
walked into the living room and found Pete and Meg both asleep on the
couch. I shook my brother gently. He woke up quick.

"Oh God, there you are." He said relieved. "You okay?"

"I'm sorry." I said apologetically. "I... I just..."

He smiled. "It's okay." He turned serious. "I was worried though. You're
alright?"

"Yeah." I said sincerely. "I just had some shit to think about." I
yawned. "I'm gonna hit the sack."

"Okay. I'll see ya in the morning."

I looked at him. "Pete. I'm..."

He stopped me. "Lukie. It's alright. Go to bed. We'll talk tomorrow." He
kissed my cheek. "I love you."

I smiled. "Love you too. G'night Pete."

"Night."

I made a pitstop at the bathroom and then finally made it to my room. I
plopped down on my bed and yawned. I closed my eyes and thought about my
plans tomorrow. I had a lot to do. Alan was first on my list. At the
thought of his name, my heart did a small flutter. What a day, I thought.

Tomorrow would be better.

~~~~~~~~~~

Alright. I know that this chapter seems a bit bizarre. I rewrote it about
ten times until I stumbled upon this idea. It allowed me to introduce two
new characters, segue into the Luke/Alan story, and showcase more Dolly
songs. :) So let me know what you guys think.

And don't forget to watch the Oscars Sunday. Dolly's performing "Travelin'
Thru." Listen to the words. You'll hear them in this story at some
point. The song is awesome, one of her best. Keep your fingers crossed that
she wins.

One more thing, if any of my tech savvy readers out there know how I can
make these stories html, I'd be much appreciative if you'd e-mail me with
some pointers. The song lyrics come out all jumbled whenever it's in plain
text.

Anyway, thanks again to all my faithful readers. Hope to hear from
everyone. The next chapter is in the works and won't be nearly as long.