Date: Tue, 06 Aug 2002 01:09:07 +0000
From: eric leung <fantasy_eric@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Unfinished Letter Chapter 1

	This is my third story archived on Nifty and I hope you'll enjoy
it.  If you are under 18 or feel offended by homosexual relationships,
please leave.  If you are looking for a story to solve your horny problem,
this is not one of those, sorry. I'd recommend Bill Drake's stories for
that. He's a good writer and his stories are certainly hot enough for that!



The Unfinished Letter


Chapter One: A Silent Bird

	A young man was standing at the beach. In front of him, the Pacific
Ocean filled the expanse, stretching out far and wide against a backdrop of
cloudy sky and tropical rain. The sun was setting and the man was looking
at the sun as it slowly submerged in the distant horizon. Gusts of wind
blew the rain his way, pelting him with tiny raindrops and blowing his hair
around on a dance of its own.

	As if welcoming the rain, the man stretched out his arms to embrace
the ocean and all of Mother Nature around him. As he closed his eyes, he
began to sing. His voice was sweet and beautiful, just like a child's. As
the rain washed down on him, it left streaks of tear-like rivulets on his
face and body. This time it felt different, but the man welcomed the shower
even though his soul didn't feel rejuvenated this time and his spirits did
not soar with the wind billowing around him. And his voice rang clear as he
sang a children's folk rhyme.

	"Tee Aul Aul...May Yoa Hao...Tee Aul Aul...Aul Aul..."

	He could not help it. The sadness in his voice was evident
throughout but he persevered. There was a sudden lull in the storm as he
finished singing.  Without any hesitation, the young man dived into the
ocean where the billowing waves swallowed him up and he disappeared from
view as the rain and howling winds resumed their fury...


                             * * * * * * * * * * * *


	My name is Zion and I grew up in my uncle's home. You see, my
parents passed away when I was little so my elder brother and I were
adopted by my uncle and aunt and they'd been very nice to us. I love them
very much, but the one I love most in this world is my brother. 3 years
ago, he left for his studies at a university located on the other side of
the Pacific Ocean. I'd be joining him there upon reaching 18.

	My uncle and aunt had a pet shop on Bird Street, a famous street in
Hong Kong. The street is short and there is nothing very spectacular about
it except for one thing, that all the shops located there sell birds or
bird-related equipment. I grew up in this street and I know everyone
here. I spent my childhood here and had many happy memories of this
place. Maybe it was because I grew up living with birds around me and I was
fascinated by birds, especially by one particular type. I'm not sure what
it's called in English but I know it as "Xiang Si" in Chinese. It means
lovesickness. The bird has a sweet beautiful voice and can sing very
well. Very often, my brother and I were complimented on our singing. We
were told that we could sing like a Xiang Si.

	In the summer I reached 18 years of age, many things happened. This
was an unforgettable summer. It all started one night when I was helping my
uncle to close up the shop for the evening...

	"Uncle Bo, why doesn't anyone want to buy this Xiang Si?" I asked.

	"Ah...you see, this particular bird can't sing. And no one would
like to buy a dumb bird," Uncle Bo told me.

	"What a poor bird," I thought.

	"Can I have it then?" I asked my uncle.

	"Sure, it's useless to me anyway. But what would you want a mute
bird for?"

	"I think it's very pitiful that no one wants it."

	Uncle Bo didn't say anything, he only shook his head and smiled as
we resumed cleaning up the shop.

	I was happy so I started singing, "Tee Aul Aul...May Yoa Hao...Tee
Aul Aul...Aul Aul..."

	"What song are you singing, Zion? What kind of language is that?"

	"I learned that from a pop song, Uncle. It's a Taiwanese Hokkien
song."

	"What does it say?"

	"That the sky is very dark and that it's going to rain. 'Tee' means
sky and 'Aul' means black or dark. 'May' is wants to or going to, and 'Yoa
Hao' means it's raining."

	"Ha ha. It sounds fun."

	"Yeah!"

	We finally locked up the place and headed for our home, which was
the top floor of the shop. When we walked in, we were shocked to find Aunt
crying on the sofa.

	"Aunt, what happened? Everything will be fine, don't you worry."

	My aunt grabbed me very hard and looked at me. She just kept crying
and and found it difficult to get her words out. The only word I could make
out was Zak.

	"What happened to bro, Aunt? Is he fine? Did he have an accident?"

	Aunt just kept shaking her head but still couldn't get anything
coherent out.  So I ran toward the phone while my uncle hugged my aunt to
comfort her.

	My fingers were shaking as I dialed the number for my brother for
the first time.  Finally, someone picked up the phone. The voice behind the
"Hello?" sounded so tired and sad.

	"Hi, sorry to wake you up so early but is Zak there?"

	"You are..."

	"I am his brother. My name is Zion."

	I could hear the guy on the other end take a deep breath before
saying, "I'm sorry to tell you this but...your brother just passed away
yesterday night."

	I couldn't believe my ears. The phone slipped from my hands and
dropped onto the floor as I struggled with disbelief. The person who I love
most in this world was now forever gone. My legs gave way and I found
myself on the floor looking up at the ceiling as tears came out from my
eyes...

	It was a bright and sunny day and the sun greeted me with its
golden rays as I stepped out of the plane. It was so bright that I felt a
little dizzy. Maybe it was also because I was still finding it so hard to
accept Zak passing away, I realized that this was now a fact and there was
nothing I could do to change it.  The only thing I could do was to accept
it and learn to cope with it. I hadn't slept a wink the entire 13-hour air
flight. I couldn't eat anything too. My uncle and aunt were not on the
flight with me. They had things to take care of and would only arrive a few
days later. I got here first to see to the funeral arrangements.

	I had just walked out the airport. There were so many people and it
took quite a while to clear Customs. As I stepped out onto the road, a gust
of wind hit my face and I had a sudden urge to throw up. I grabbed the door
for support as I kneeled down and heaved. Nothing came out except some
water. I was in pain, more emotionally than physically.

	"Are you ok?" someone was asking.

	I looked up and saw a guy about 25 years old. He had brown hair and
ocean blue eyes.

	"Yeah, I am fine," I replied.

	"Are you sure?"

	Well, if only there were more caring people like him around, I
thought.  "Yeah, I am..." I started but my body chose to contradict me as
more water came out from my mouth. I felt so angry at myself. Why was I so
weak when I really needed to be strong?

	The man helped me up and I felt bad for having to trouble him.

	"Thanks for your help," I said.

	"That's ok..."

	There was silence as I noticed the man staring at me.

	"You look so familiar. Hmm...you wouldn't by any chance be Zak
Sun's brother, would you?"

	"Hmm...yeah..." I sighed as I acknowledged the family resemblance.

	"How's Zak? I left here for a summer trip and haven't seen him
since. You've come here for your studies too?"

	"Zak..."

	"Huh?"

	"Zak has just passed away." The words left a bitter taste in my
mouth. I still couldn't believe it had really happened.

	"You are kidding, right?" the guy asked. But when he took another
look at my face, he knew that I was not joking. "Why? I mean...how? He was
looking very good and in high spirits when I left."

	"The police said he committed suicide by jumping into the sea."

	"That's impossible! He's the strongest person I ever know." He
pursed his lips as he finished and looked grim. I suspect he was feeling
emotional too. He was holding onto my arm in a tight clench.

	We left the airport together. I found out that his name was Gary
and that he was my brother's college friend. We took a cab to my brother's
apartment but we didn't say too much on the trip. The city was very
beautiful but I was in no mood to admire the view.

	My brother lived in an apartment near the university. He had told
us that he was sharing the place with another guy. We knocked on the door
of the apartment and, a few seconds later, someone came to open the
door. He looked so tired. He looked at Gary and they hugged each other.

	"Gary, I thought you are still on your holiday?" the guy asked.

	"I just come back today and I met him outside the airport..." Gary
pointed to me and said, "...so I know what had happened to Zak."

	The guy looked at me. He was quite handsome, with blond hair and
blue eyes.  "You are Zak's brother?" he asked, but it sounded more like a
statement than a question.

	I nodded.

	He let Gary and me into the apartment, then introduced himself as
Leo. He was my brother's roommate. Then he told Gary to sit down on the
sofa and brought me to Zak's room.

	"This is Zak's room. There is a letter he wrote to you before
he...left."  Then Leo turned away and left the room. I closed the door and
walked toward Zak's desk. There was a letter that had my name on the
envelope. With trembling hands, I slowly opened the letter. I recognized my
brother's writing, neat and tidy like he was.



Dear Little Brother:

	There is nothing in this world I'm more concerned about than my
lovely little brother. You see, when you read this, I am no longer in this
world but please don't be sad for me. Sorry little brother, but I don't
regret what I'm about to do. I hope you can forgive me...

	I'm not sure how I can delicately explain the path I'm going to
take, so please forgive my getting straight to the point. I have decided to
leave this world because I fell in love with a man.

	I don't know how to tell Uncle and you that I am gay. Every time I
think about this, I feel so torn up inside. What's worse is that I've
fallen in love with someone, but he's left me. And now, I don't want to
live anymore. Maybe everyone would think I am stupid but I know there is
still one person who will understand me. Little brother, I know you will
understand. I want to tell you




	The letter ended abruptly. I turned the page but there was nothing
on the other side. What was Zak trying to tell me? I felt that there was
something very important he had to say. I had lots of questions but no
answers were forthcoming. Emotionally drained and exhausted, I lay down on
my brother's bed and used his letter to cover my face as my tears started
anew. I told myself that I mustn't cry anymore, that I couldn't let anyone
know that I cried. I needed to be strong like my brother...

	The funeral went smoothly. The sun was shining brightly that day. I
expected it would be a rainy day because my brother loved rainy days. My
uncle and aunt turned up a few days before but returned to Hong Kong 3 days
later. It was just too painful for them. But I decided to stay here. I was
due to start my studies here anyway. I'd applied and gotten acceptance a
month ago so there was no reason to go back only to return shortly
afterwards.  Also, I really wanted to know why my brother committed suicide
and I could not go back with that nagging thought still fresh in my mind. I
sensed that he was going to tell me the real reason in the letter but he
hadn't gotten to it and now he'd passed away leaving me with nothing. No,
he'd left me an unfinished letter...and I was going to find out the
truth...

	Uncle had brought the mute bird for me. He said he'd put it in his
pocket on the flight here but I think he was trying to cheer me up. The
night after the funeral. I wanted to set it free. I opened the cage and
took it out but the bird made no attempt to fly away. It just sat there
perched on my arm.

	"You not only forgot how to sing, you forgot how to fly too?" I
asked the silly bird.

	Seeing that it was not going anywhere, I just set the bird down on
the desk. In case it ever changed its mind, I wanted to give it a chance to
experience freedom, so I decided against putting it back into the cage.

	After I coming here, I still kept in contact with my
boyfriend. Yes, I am gay too, among the many common traits I shared with my
brother though I don't think he knew that about me. Two weeks later, my
boyfriend called me up and I was happy to hear his voice again but he did
not have my happiness in mind.

	"Zion, I don't want a long distance relationship. I want my
boyfriend beside me where I can touch him, kiss him. I don't want to betray
you but I am a man and you are too far away and you know? You can't give me
sex."

	Upon hearing that, I agreed to break up with him. A five-year
relationship, and he wants to break up because I couldn't make love with
him?  Is sex...really that important? What about later when we're old and
grey, would we stay together when sex becomes a physical impossibility? How
shallow can he be?

	After our break up, I felt that my life was gradually turning for
the worse. Sometimes I went clubbing with Leo and sometimes we went out
having fun with other guys. But I never had sex with any of them them. We
shared chaste kisses and touches but no sex. I knew Leo want me in his bed
but I was not really interested. Sure, he was attractive and handsome. But
inside, I was obsessed with only one thing on my mind. I wanted to find out
the real reason why my brother committed suicide and I had no room for
anything else.

	I moved into my brother's apartment. I took over his room. Leo was
very nice to me and Gary would come and visit me sometimes to make sure
that I was fine. My brother's room was very comfortable. There was a window
facing south and you could see the big maple forest outside. The trees were
quite close and every night, I would stand in front of the window and hear
the sound of its leaves as the wind blew though the forest. It sounded just
like the sound of waves crashing upon the beach. I would close my eyes and
listen to the sound of the ocean of trees and think about my brother.

	A few weeks later, the sadness and gloom that hung like a shroud
was sudddenly lifted and everyone around me was back to normal as life
resumed its humdrum monotony. I finished my registration at the university
and Gary really helped me a lot. In these few weeks, I got to know Gary and
Leo better.

	Gary was very nice to me, too nice that I felt somewhat
uncomfortable.  He was majoring in Business and was a member of our
university's swim team. It seems that he was well-known in the campus. Leo
told me that Gary spent more time in water than on land.

	The week after Zak's funeral, Gary invited me for a swim with him
every day. I enjoyed the time in the pool because there were lots of
handsome young guys around. They were certainly eye candies but I certainly
did not contemplate pursuing any of them as I was still with my boyfriend
then. In any case, I felt no attraction for them because of my obsession. I
felt that there was something that Gary wanted to tell me but he didn't
quite know how to say. So he continued treated me very well. It sounded
weird but my feelings told me that's probably the truth and that he'd open
up when the time was right.

	Leo was a wolf, not in that he was a violent guy but that he was,
well...  he was somewhat of a sex machine, to put in nicely. Every night
he'd go clubbing and I'd gone with him a few times, and he'd be sure to
bring someone back without fail. Leo was very handsome, and the people he
brought home were mostly good- looking ones. He was probably bisexual
although he'd bring mostly guys back with him, sometimes there were girls
too. I thought he'd be a lousy student with the way he's living his life
but Gary told me he was a honor student in the Law faculty, the same
faculty as my brother.

	As I got back from a swim the month before school began, I saw
someone sitting on a big suitcase in front of my apartment. As I walked
toward him, I noticed that he was a young man a year or two younger than
me. He had short blond hair and blue eyes.

	"Hi," he said when he saw me.

	"Hi," I returned.

	"You live here?" he asked.

	"Yeah."

	"You are Leo's roommate?"

	"Yeah..."

	Actually I wanted to say no because I thought he was one of Leo's
sex partner or should I say, toy. He was very cute and looked just like the
type Leo would bring to his bed every night.

	"I am Justin, Leo's brother." He put out his hand and we shook. I
blushed out of embarrassment for mistaking him for Leo's toy. Luckily, he
didn't know that.


Tbc...



This is the first chapter of The Unfinished Letter. What do you think? Give
me a letter please. Write to me at fantasy_eric@hotmail.com

I am waiting...