Date: Mon, 03 Jun 2002 16:28:36 -0500
From: R King <rjswim101@hotmail.com>
Subject: Waiting for James (1)

Hey people, just a new single story episode I've thrown together.  If ya'll
don't know me, I wrote Perfection and Flawless in the high school section.
They're a little old, but worth checking out.  So read them and give me a
shout and tell me how ya'll like them.

And hey, I don't know much about college (I'm a senior) so don't attack me
if I get some of the technicalities wrong.  James and Jake (names changed)
are actually college friends of mine, and, unbeknownst to them, I've written
this story about them.  No, neither of them are gay, but everything I've
said them are true and they are damn fine.  They'd be a gorgeous couple if
they only saw each other the way they do in this story.  If only life would
work out perfectly.

E-mail me your comments and let me know if I should either write more, or
permanently stop all contact with my keyboard.

RJSWIM101@hotmail.com

If ya'll aren't eighteen, go jack off to your daddy's porno.  If ya'll are
eighteen, go jack off to your daddy's porno.  There's no beat-off sex scenes
in this story.

WAITING FOR JAMES

The door opened, and I heard loud voices conversing.  The light flooded into
the room, and the figures moving in and out of the doorway cast moving
shadows across the floor.  I turned over in bed, my sleep-fogged mind barely
registering the movement and sound.  My left eye flickered open, and then my
right.

He stood in the doorway, the harsh lighting from the dormitory hall made his
face invisible to me, just a blank black silhouette.  He carried a large box
in his hands overflowing with computer equipment and books.  I heard the
jingle of keys as he removed them from the lock, and I heard the door shut
quietly.  There was a quiet fumbling for the lamp switch, and a soft yellow
glow filled the small space.

I lay unmoving in my bed, hoping for just a small glimpse of his face.  He
was tall, probably three inches taller than my five foot ten frame.  His
hair was black in the weak lighting, but I anticipated brown in the
daylight.  I watched as he moved around, stacking things and quietly opening
and closing the drawers in his desk.

My new roommate for my entire freshman year at college.

I sighed quietly and pulled the covers over my head.  Whoever it was would
have to wait until morning.  And until I'd had my cereal.  I closed my eyes
and stretched.

*****

I yawned widely and kicked the covers off, instantly freezing as I realized
that I was no longer at home.  I quickly pulled the sheets back up over my
nakedness, but relaxed as I realized the room was empty.  The bed on the
other side of the room was unmade, and the pinstripe of the mattress still
showed, covered partially by a rumpled blanket.

I pulled my plaid jams up and sat surveyed the other side of the room.  The
clothes were neatly hanging up in the closet, and a damp towel hung on the
rack.  The only clues about my new roommate were an open powerbook on the
desk, and a smiling picture of a strikingly beautiful girl in red.  Well,
there goes my chances, even if he is cute.

A black and white speckled journal peeked out from underneath the bed, and
an autographed soccer ball sat on top of the bookshelf in its holder in
addition to a wide assortment of swimming tophies.  Most likely a
sports-obessed jock jerk.  I rolled my eyes and opened the shades a crack.
The sun poured in, and I checked the alarm clock.

9:15.  Nine and a quarter hours into my first day of independence.  I pulled
on a shirt and traded my raggedy pajama pants for a pair of jeans and
sandals.  I opened the door to the room, and was almost instantly knocked
over.

I rubbed the remaining sleep from my eyes and almost feel over again.  I had
obviously misjudged my mysterious roommate from last night.  He was easily
five inches taller than I was, putting him at six foot three.  His hair was
jet black, almost a blueish color in the daylight, and his skin was
unblemished tan.  He had strikingly green eyes, which I found myself staring
into from the floor, and the most subtly formed facial features which made
him into just about the most attractive man I had ever laid eyes on.  He
extended his hand to help me up, as I attempted to control my breathing.

"Hey, I'm not usually violent like that," he said with a smile.  White
teeth, perfect, straight.  "The name's James."  Hey, it rhymes.

"Jake Thomas," I said taking his hand and feeling myself almost effortlessly
pulled up.  He closed the door and there was almost an awkard silence.
Without fail, I began to chew my lip, my trademark response to stressful
situations.

"So, I guess we're roommates," I said unintelligently, blinking my eyes
again to make sure he wasn't just a mirage.

"Looks like it," he responded lightly, and bent to pick up a scrap of paper
which had floated from my side of the room to his.  I surveyed his organized
neatness, and then my eyes traveled to the unbridled mess of papers,
clothes, and emtpy wrappers which were strewn about my side.

"I'm pretty surprised to see that I made that much of a mess in one day," I
said apologetically.  Actually, I was more surprised that I hadn't made even
more of a mess.  "I'll try to not to mess up your side."  God, even the
clothes seemed to be in alphabetical order according to the first letter of
the color they were predominantly comprised of.  Wow, and button down shirts
were even grouped seperately from polos, and sweaters.

"Hey, I'm not anal, I'm just organized," he defended himself, another one of
his earthshattering smiles flashing across his face.  There came the perfect
white teeth again.

I shrugged and tried to straighten a stack of CD's.  "Compared to me you
are," I said as a few candy wrappers and mores scraps of paper floated to
the floor.  "So, in an effort to discover more about my new roommate, I'll
ask you the trademark question of what do you like to do."

He leaned against the door, his beautiful emerald eyes unwaveringly glued to
my face, his black t-shirt moving against his tightly muscled torso.  "I
swim a lot, and play baseball" he said slowly, as if thinking of other
things to say.  "And I play the piano."

I was a little startled, here was a bonna fide jock admiting to touching a
musical instrument.  Very surprising.

"And yourself, what are you in to?"

I closed my eyes a little longer than necessary as the tangy sharpness of
his cologne floated across the room.  I sighed in a very lovelorn way as my
body registered the hint of his masculinity, and, looking back, I should
have been embaressed.  "I'm here on a soccer scholarship.  I swam a lot in
high school, but I'm definitely not good enough to make the team here.  I
play the cello and guitar and ran cross country all through high school."

He nodded and there was another awkward silence.  "So, you up for a walk and
maybe a little more share-time?"

"Sure."

We left the room and he shut the door softly behind us.  "Hey, lock up our
room, will you?"

Our room.  Here come the tingles.  And an innocent statement at that.

This was going to be a long, long year.

*****

The year went by quickly.  James, as expected, became one of the most
popular guys on campus, his handsome smile and ability to be masculine and
sensitive at the same time earned him an a-list alpha girlfriend.  My, or
should I say, our room turned into a mass of what seemed like a ton of
abercrombie and fitch models.  Eventually, I got used to peering over my
books to see a half naked jock in an alcohol induced slumber snoring away on
the floor.  And, as I expected, James and I drifted further and further
apart.  He had his baseball buddies and Amira, and I had my soccur buddies
and, well, nobody special.

It was a rainy night in the middle of April when I realized that I was truly
in love with James.

"Jake, where's my pen, the black one I was using this morning?"

I was lying on my back bouncing a tennis ball against the wall as the
thunder rolled outside.  James was sitting at his desk, making me nervous as
he leaned back on the two legs of his desk chair in just a pair of black
silk boxers.  His smooth tanned skin seductively curved down into the loose
thin material and for some reason, the slender curves of his bare shoulders
and neck drove me wild.  I pulled my mind from the erotic image of us making
out on the floor.  "It's in your desk, second drawer in the back."

"Thanks."

I continued to bounce the ball and closed my eyes, listing to the scratching
of his writing and his steady breathing.

"Hey Jake, where's my notebook?"

I laughed a little and watched as my hopelessly confused jock searched his
desk drawers and backpack.  "It's on top of your stereo, you put it there
last night."

"Thanks."

I let out a slow breath shifted my body weight around on the bed.

"Jake, where's my-,"

"In your closet, next to the blue polo shirt you wore last Monday.  You left
it in the lecture hall yesterday and I went back and picked it up for you."

He turned around, grinning widely and walked over to me.  Pulling me
upright, he gave me a quick hug.  "I don't know what I'd do without you."

I awkwardly returned the hug, inadvertantly pulling him back toward me.  I
felt the heat radiating from his naked torso, and his coarse hair scratching
my cheek.  His back was broad and I quickly played my fingers across the
bare flesh.  It was warm and smooth, and his scent hit my nose, the
masculine combination of aftershave, cologne, and the smell that was purely
him, simply James.

We broke apart, and I was surprised to see his beautiful emerald eyes
sparkling back at me, holding mine in a stare.  "I meant that Jake, I'm
really lucky to have a buddy as awesome as you are."

I must have blushed two thousand shades of red and I coughed awkwardly.
"Easy there tiger, let's get some rest.  You've got early practice tommorow
and I need my beauty sleep."

"I'll say," he shot back.  "But no amount of sleep is going to fix that face
of yours."

I slapped his head as he ducked away to his bed.  I clicked the lamp out and
the room was plunged into darkness, brief flashes of lightning illuminating
the room for mere miliseconds, followed by rumbling crashes getting
ominously closer.

I could tell by his uneven breathing, that James was still awake.

"Jake?"

I must have been drifting in and out of the first stage of sleep because the
sound of his voice startled me a little.  "Yeah?"  My voice croaked and I
cleared my throat.  "Yeah?"

"I'm scared of thunderstorms," he said simply, and my jaw must have dropped.
  A beautiful organized put-together athletic man like James was scared of
thunder and lightning.  God, how could such a stupid thing be a turn on.
Maybe it was the whole vulnerable thing.

"So?" I asked hesitantly.

"Can I sleep in your bed with you?" came the reply.  I blinked a few times,
trying to process his request.

"Yeah, um, the bed is only a single, I mean, we'll have to, you know, be,
well, it'll be close and stuff." Good lord, I was stuttering like a junior
high school girl who has just been confronted by Justin Timberlake's dick.

"Yeah, I know."  I heard the rustling sheets, and then his bare feet padding
across the floor.  He pulled back the sheets on my bed and slid in next to
me.  The bed was against the wall, so I couldn't move over any more.  He
turned around, and we were face to face.  His sweet smelling breath blew
against my face, and I averted my gaze.

"Thanks," he said sweetly and closed his eyes.  I stayed wide awake as I
heard his breathing getting steady and controlled.  I heard him moan a
little in his sleep, and then felt his arms instinctively reaching around my
waist, pulling me close against him, his almost naked body completely in
contact with mine.

His head was against my shoulder, and his arms were securely attached around
me.  I smelled the sweet scent of his shampoo, and the faint smell of
strawberrys.

What the hell.  I put an arm around his back and snuggled into his warm
inviting body, my free hand playing across his defined chest and stomach,
settling against the ridges of his ab muscles.

"Good night Jake, thanks for being here."  I froze at the sound of his
voice.  God, he was awake.

But he pulled us even closer together and buried his face in the hollow
between my neck and shoulders.  He mumbled something, but he was on the
verge of sleep and all he suceeded in doing was drooling on me.

I wanted to laugh, but sleep beckoned, and I had never found it more easy to
fall asleep, secure in his strong arms.

"I love you James," I said, barely coherent as I slipped into the
unconcious.

*****

I awoke and froze.  My lips were inches from James' as he slept peaceully.
His breath exhaled slowly and into my mouth and I silently tried to plan my
course of action.  During the night, the large comforter had been pulled
over our heads.  His legs were now straddling me, one on each side of my
body, and we were pressed so tightly together that I could feel his morning
wood poking me in the thigh.  His arms were still locked around me and I
shifted slightly, trying to get free so I could lose my erection and then
curse myself for getting out of an embrace with my dream lover.

I watched, centimeters away from his face, his eyelids flicker and open.
His eyes were glassy and I could tell he was still half asleep.

"Goddamnit Amira, stop fucking touching me," he said angrily, and proceeded
to try to shove me.  The only problem was, there was a wall on the other
side of me and I wasn't going anywhere.

"Wake up James, it's not your girlfriend, it's Jake."

"Oh," came the tired reply.  He shifted a little and pulled me close,
nuzzling my neck.  "You're all warm."  He said in a matter of fact way.
"And I'm cold."

He was conciously holding me, being in intimate physical contact with me of
his own accord.  He must still be asleep.

"James, wake up buddy, I'm not your girlfriend.  It's Jake and I need you to
get up."

He rolled over and looked at the clock before diving back under the covers,
returning his head to its place on my shoulder.  "S'only five o'clock.  Give
me an hour."

I lay back and, against my better judgement, began stroking his silky hair,
feeling his warm moist breath against my neck.

"That feels good," he said softly and pulled the covers higher over us.

I'd give my left testicle to have his dumb jock friends see him now.

*****

And then after that beautiful night, we drifted apart.  Sure, he still
smiled at me and left me cute notes that said that he would be out partying
his ass off and stumble in drunk at three in the morning, and could I please
not worry about him.  But I did, and I stayed up waiting for him to come
back, and I'd strip him down and put him in bed, setting a few tablets of
asprin and a fresh cup of coffee by his bed before I left to work out in the
mornings.  I loved that boy more than life itself.

And then there came the day in May.  Finals were in the near future, and I
spent the majority of my time curled up with a fascinating read like
'Analysis of Modern Buisness and Economics' and 'The Function and Purpose of
Government Funds.'  James continued to party away like it was nineteen
ninety nine.

I flipped a page and straightened the glasses that were falling off my nose.
  Unfortunately, I'd fotgotten to fill out my contact lens order form and
was stuck with glasses for the next week.  They were old from high school,
and kept falling down.  I grabbed a kleenex from the box permanently
attached to my side, and blew my nose for the millionth time.  Damn these
spring allergies.

I heard the door open and shut, and I knew it was James before he even
talked.  For some reason, I could tell it was him by the sound of his
footsteps.  Confidant and brisk.

"Hey."

I turned over on my side, and pushed my glasses back up on my nose.  He
leaned against his closet door, wearing a pair of warm-up pants and a black
beater.  His skin was moist, and he was breathing hard.  One of those twelve
o'clock runs.  He must be a sucker for self-punishment.

"Hey yourself," I said, putting my book aside.  We'd merely exchanged
pleasantries for the past couple months, and I could tell by his tone of
voice that he wanted to talk.

"I broke up with Amira," he said, sitting down heavily in his computer
chair, spinning idly, a lost and confused look on his face.

Finally.  "Man, that sucks.  I'm sorry to hear that, you guys were a really
great couple," I said automatically with just the right amount of empathy in
my voice.  I'd learned, it's better to go with the 'I'm sorry about that'
rather than the 'she's a bitch anyway'.

"I just couldn't love two people at once," he said quickly, and I sucked in
my breath suddenly.  He fidgeted with the strings on his pants, and gave me
a glance under his long lashes.

"Meaning what?"

"I don't know if I really want to tell you this," he said growing more
anxious.  "I mean, I've been avoiding you for awhile and I just have to let
you know, to make sure you won't hate me or anything."

"Trust me, I won't hate you."

"I think I'm gay Jake, and I have a boyfriend.  Actually, we hooked up right
after I started going out with Amira.  I dumped her because I couldn't live
trying to love him and pretend I loved her.  I don't know what to do Jake,
and I need your help.  I need you to tell me that what I did wasn't as
horrible as I think it is."

His eyes were moist, and he was almost trembling, but I was shocked into
silence.  He had a boyfriend.  My gorgeous James had a boyfriend.

I shut my eyes tightly, hoping that when I opened them, James would be back
at his computer slowly typing his essay, wincing from yesterdays hangover,
but he was still sitting there, his beautiful blue-green eyes staring back
into mine.

"I don't hate you James, you just needed to find out who you were, there's
nothing wrong with that."

He let his breath out quickly and crushed me in a hug.  "Thanks Jake, I love
you man."

If you only knew.

*****

The boyfriend turned out to be Matt, or Matty as James had taken up calling
him.  He frequented our room, and after the first awkward moment when I
found them having a tounge tango in his bed, decided to avoid going back to
the room until after eleven thirty, when they had, well, 'finished'.

Matt was just the boyfriend I had expected James to pick up.  They were
almost identical in height, and Matt was just as handsome as James was.  He
had pale blue eyes and lightly tanned skin.  Coupled with his defined
muscles and messy blond hair, he was a looker.  As I assumed he would, Matt
and James engaged in wildly passionate sex, which I could hear through the
door of our room.  Luckily, that would serve as the red light to stop me
from entering, and turn back to the library.  Damn, I got a hell of a lot of
studying done.

And then there was the matter of me.  I stayed very much in love with James
and his green eyes and the way he threw an arm around me when I looked
'sad'.  He was energetic as usual, but since he had deemed me to be not a
threat, stopped talking to me almost altogether.  I lost sleep from not
being in what was supposed to be partially my room, and developed dark
circles around my eyes.  From lack of sleep, I began to run during the day
instead of get up in the morning and work out, and, either from depression
or just a shifted daily schedule, I stopped eating.

For that matter, I felt like a thief in my own room.  I left quietly in the
morning, gathering all my books and soccer clothes and shoes so I wouldn't
have to return to the room later.  If I needed anything, I would listen at
the door, and then quickly get in and gather my things.  After practice, I
stayed at the coffee shop until seven and then went to the library, studying
intently, trying to make buisness seem interesting.  But the truth was, and
maybe I had hidden it from myself, James had broken my heart.  Maybe he
hadn't ever made me a promise, but it hurt all the same.  And seeing him
with Matt, so perfect, so complete, broke something inside.

Finals were two days away, and I was getting desperate.  I had studied
plenty, but needed more sleep.

I was tired, and my shoulders and arms hurt from carrying my books.  I
paused outside my doors, and almost slumped down as I heard the heavy
breathing and moaning through the wood.  I sighed and turned around, walking
back down the narrow hall to the elevators.

The doors opened.

"James?" I gasped suddenly.

"Hey Jake, have you seen Matt around?  I tried to call him and let him know
I got out of practice early, but he wasn't answering."

I looked back at the room, shaking my head and trying to clear my thoughts.
I saw the hope and love in James' eyes, and I made my decision.  "No James,
I haven't seen him.  I think he went down to the student center for coffee
or something.  I'd go look for him there."

"Thanks Jake," he said, giving me one of his toothy white smiles, and giving
me a friendly punch on the shoulder.  "Hey, tommorow night, let's do dinner
or something, I haven't talked to you forever and we fuckin' live together."
  Smart lad.

"Sure James, I'll catch you later."

He got back into the elevator and the doors slid shut.  I pulled my key from
my pocket, and walked back to my room.  I quickly unlocked the door and
threw it open, unceremoniously pulling the sheet from whoever was on the
bed.  A startled Matt looked up at me, and another freshman soccer player
looked up from between his legs.

"Damn, Jake, um, what are you-?"

"Fucking get up," I said, pulling the soccer player to his feet.  I shoved
him out the door and threw his clothes after him.

"Jake, I," Matt started, but I pushed him back down onto the bed and slammed
the door shut.

"Matt, Matthew, Matty, I just saved you from being James' ex-boyfriend.  I
don't care who it was sucking your dick, but I won't let you do that to my
friend.  I know how much he loves you, and I think I know that you aren't an
asshole.  I don't want you to cheat on him, and if you are, you can call it
quits."

"You saw James?"

I sat down on the bed, tears in my eyes.  I couldn't help it, when I get
mad, I get emotional.  Especially about relationships.  "Yes, he got off
practice early and tried to call your cell, but you weren't answering.  I
got to the door and heard what I thought was you and James, so I left.  He
was coming off the elevator when I was going to get on."

Matt clenched his fists, and hugged knees, rocking back and forth.  "And?"

I took a deep breath.  "I told you I saw you down at the student center.  I
lied to him, because he loves you so much."

"Oh."

"Matt, how long have you been cheating on James?"

He bit his lip, and I saw a drop of blood appear.  "Ever since we started
going out.  I don't know what it is, but I can't be faithful, I need other
people."

I shook my head and lay down on the bed, searching the cracks in the plaster
on the ceiling.  "Matt, you're an asshole."

"I know."


*****

Finals were over, and school was out.  I packed the family Volvo station
wagon full of my stuff, and with the help of my dad, bungee corded the trunk
so all the things wouldn't fall out.  My sister hugged me and assured me
that I was still her 'little dork', and my mom cried her eyes out
continuously.  My dad patted me on the back in about ten minute intervals
and told me how proud he was.

I watched as Matt stuffed his clothes into his black lexus, his eyes hidden
behind mirrored sunglasses.  He was still beautiful, but the smiles I had
been used to seeing no longer appeared on his face.  He was emotionless,
expressionless, and dead to the world.

The last couple of days were a living hell.  He refused to acknowledge my
existence, and the permanent lack of Matt in our room told me that they had
called it quits.

I sighed and got into the back, relieved to fell the blast of cold air on my
face.  Elizabeth hugged me and talked to me excitedly about her engagement.
We pulled away from the dorm and I watched as the big brick building receded
in the distance.

I'd have to wait until next year to settle my score with James.  But he
would still be here next year, as beautiful, as talented, and hopefully, as
forgiving as I thought he was.

*****

The sun beat down on me, and I felt as sweat began to run down slowly from
my forehead.  I sat in the lifeguard chair, watching as the sun rose into
the sky, turning the pool into a hive of activity.  I dozed slightly,
watching as children jumped from the edge into the water in glittering
splashes.

"Jake."

I shook my head and looked down.  "What is it Jenna?"

"There's someone here to see you," she said, a little flustered.  "A college
friend I think?"

I froze, the warmth of the day suddenly becoming stifling.  I slowly
descended the ladder.  "Did he give a name?"

"Nope, but he's hot as hell, I'd give my right tit have him bone me," she
said laughing as she took my whistle.  "He seemed pretty excited to find you
here though."

I walked into the shade of the awning, and stopped next to the door.

He was there, leaning casually as he always had, the grin on his face that I
remembered falling in love with the first time I met him.  His hair was as
black and his eyes were as green.  He stood up when he saw me and typically
fidgeted with the drawstrings on his pants.

"What the hell are you doing here James?"

He licked his lips and narrowed his eyes as if concentrating hard.  "I
wanted to apologize, for being an asshole to you that last week."

"Forgiven.  You didn't drive a three hundred miles just to do that, did
you?"

He shook his head, and smiled again, showing more teeth.  He awkwardly
shifted from leg to leg, and I knew what he had come for.  I reached up and
pulled him towards me, giving him a hug.  He felt warm, and the smell that
was so comforting filled my brain and I collapsed against him, feeling his
breath on my cheek.  I pulled him back, and looked into his eyes.  He
smiled, and I leaned in for our first kiss.

"Stop," he said forcefully.  I looked a little bewildered, but his hand
gripped my arm tightly, and I couldn't move.  "Tell me Jake."  He softened a
little, and his hand stroked my cheek.  "I need to hear it, and I need it to
be the truth.  For once."

"I love you James."

"I love you too Jake," he said finally, and his hand grabbed my cheek and
pulled us closer together, his tounge slowly gaining entrance into my mouth.
  My head spun as I felt the warmth of him take me over, the pure sensuality
and the raw emotion making me weak in the knees.  We broke for breath and I
gave him another hug.

"So, looking forward to next year?"

"Want to get an apartment together?" he asked, running a strong hand up and
down my back.  I kissed him again, this time more slowly, turning my head to
get a better angle.  He tasted beautiful, like mint and just, well, James.

"If we get to fuck like rabbits," I said, breathing a little heavily.

"Whatever your heart desires."

*****

TBC. . . unless you all hated it.  I think I might just give a draft to
'Jake' and 'James' and maybe they'll just take my advice and hook up. . . .
. Let me know if you liked it- RJSWIM101@hotmail.com