Date: Fri, 18 Oct 2002 19:56:58 -0700 (PDT)
From: Already Chosen <alreadychosen06460@yahoo.com>
Subject: who would have thought chapter 6

This is a story about two college guys who fall for one another.  If you
are offended by two guys being in a relationship, having sex etc. don't
read it.  If you are under 18 don't read it.  If it is illegal to read this
in your state, don't read it.

For those of you who can read this enjoy!

Who Would Have Thought
Chapter 6
By Already Chosen


	Shrill ringing of the alarm clock.  Headache.  I only went to sleep
two hours ago.  You get the idea.

I got out of bed in pain; my head heart, my heart hurt, my ass really hurt.
With the recognition of pain, came the realization of what had happened the
day before and I was terrified.  I knew this was not going to be a good
day.  I knew Phoenix was going to be freaked out.  I just couldn't handle
any of it.  I decided to go back to bed.  My dreams were filled with all
sorts of strange things.  At one point I was driving through a field, but
the only thing in the field was one large tree.  Across the field there was
another car.  I stopped and got out of my car and watched the other car
driving erratically, and then it stopped.  The driver got out.  It was
Phoenix.  I called out to him.  He didn't even look at me.  I yelled
louder.  This time he looked up then got in his car and drove away.  Then I
woke up.

It was about noon when I got out of bed.  I didn't know what to do with
myself.  I decided to take a long hot bath.  I soaked in the tub for about
an hour and then decided it was time to do something else with myself.  I
went over to my computer, turned it on, and decided to check my e-mail.  I
lit a cigarette and prepared myself for the barrage of junk mail and
useless porn crap that seems to infiltrate everyone's e-mail box.  I was
surprised to see the first e-mail was from Phoenix.  The subject line read
"about last night."  I started to shake, and my heart started to beat out
of my chest.  Hesitantly, I opened up the e-mail:

Adam,

I know this is a huge cop-out but I really can't verbalize what is going on
in my head so I figured I would write it out.  I want you to know that I
love you very much, but yesterday was a mistake.  I let my dick think for
me and that was the biggest mistake I could have made.  Your friendship
means the world to me and I don't know what I would do without you.  I
truly hope that we don't have to be completely weird with one another just
because we had sex.  Don't get me wrong, it was the greatest sex I have
ever had and I enjoyed being that close to you, but it can't happen again.
I'm afraid if we did continue to have sex, it would cause nothing more than
hurt feelings and tension between us.  You know I can't be in a
relationship and like I said to you before, I don't ever want you to be
dead in my eyes.  I'm sorry if I hurt you, and I hope that you won't hate
me for this.  I love you very much and I hope that you will understand
where I am coming from.

Love, Phoenix

I was completely flabbergasted by the letter.  I wanted to find him right
then and there and tell him that it was okay.  I understood what he was
going through.  I just wanted to hug him and tell him that everything would
be okay.  The problem was, I didn't know if everything would be okay.

	He made it perfectly clear in the e-mail that he didn't want our
relationship to turn into some sort of fucked up friends that fuck kind of
thing.  I didn't want that either, but I wanted more than he did.  I wanted
to be with him.  I wanted us to live happily ever after.  I decided we had
to talk about the whole thing face to face.  I picked up the phone and
called his cell.

	"Hey this is Phoenix, I'm not available so leave me a message."

	"Hey Phoenix it's me.  We really need to talk.  Call me when you
get this."

	My first thought after hanging up the phone was that he knew it was
me.  He looked at his caller ID saw my number and just couldn't answer it.
I was completely paranoid about things like that, and now that I had a
reason to be paranoid it kicked in hardcore.  Every possible scenario that
could cross my mind did.  First, I thought he was just avoiding me, then it
was he was asleep, then I moved on to he was with another person, and
finally I thought he was having sex with some random stranger.  My mind
could go to some amazing places when I let it.  I finally decided I needed
a distraction, and that it was time to stop thinking like a fucking idiot.
If anything Phoenix was feeling most of the emotions I was.  What it all
boiled down to was fear.

	As in any other crisis situation I called Zoë.  I swear, that
girl is amazing, she just continually puts up with my shit.  If I were
listening to me, I would have killed myself by now.  I woke her up.

	"Hello," came a sleepy, somewhat annoyed voice.  She worked
overnight the night before and I had completely forgotten.

	"Hey Zoë, it's me."

	"Adam, this better be good.  I was having the most amazing dream
and I was just about to have sex with Brad Pitt."

	"Ewww Zo, I didn't know girls had sex dreams."

	"You don't know a lot about girls, oh king of the homo people."

	"Fuck you.  Anyway, its Phoenix."

	"Adam, I told you, you fucked this up.  I can't listen to it
anymore.  You made you're bed now you have to lie in it.  We've been around
and around in circles about him and I told you more than once that you had
to be careful how you approached this or you were going to lose a
friendship.  Well, you weren't careful.  You let your dick do the talking
for you and now you're crying that you lost Phoenix.  For starters, you
don't even know that you lost him it hasn't even been 24 hours since the
two of you fucked in the hot tub...

	"We didn't fuck in the hot tub."

	"Whatever, it hasn't been 24 hours since the two of you fucked, now
you need to be an adult and talk about it.  So, cut the bullshit and call
him."

	"I already did call him, he didn't answer.  I think he's avoiding
me."

	"I'd avoid you too, you neurotic psychopath."

	"Thanks, you fucking bitch, I love you too.  But seriously, I
really think he's avoiding me."

	"Well, when did you call him?"

	"Ten minutes ago."

	"Adam, give the kid some time.  And by the way, it is the middle of
the afternoon.  Did you think maybe he could be in class or at work?"

	"I guess I didn't think of that."

	"No, you didn't think at all."

	"I guess you're right."

	"Honey, I'm always right, don't you know this by now?"

	I laughed a little bit.  "I should by now."

	"That's right.  But now, I'm going back to bed.  Give him a couple
of hours.  If he doesn't call back by 9 tonight call him again."

	"Alright, sorry to interrupt your dream."

	"No you're not, but I love you anyway."

	"Love you too, goodnight or should I say good afternoon."

	"Fuck you."  And with that, she hung up.

	So that was it; I had to wait.  I couldn't push him and I couldn't
do anything else.  I sat back and tried to think of things to do to keep
myself occupied.  Eventually, I decided that nothing was going to keep me
totally occupied, so I took a drive.

	I loved driving.  For most people it was one of the most stressful
things that they had to do in life.  But for me, it was the most relaxing
thing I could think of.  I hopped into my Volkswagen GTI, which was my
pride and joy, cranked the engine and I was on my way.  I lit a cigarette,
put on my favorite mix CD and found the windiest, narrowest, country road I
could possibly find.  I put the pedal to the floor and sped around for
hours.  I loved being behind the wheel.  It was the only place I felt
totally in control of everything.  I pumped the sports car expertly around
the curves like they were nothing and just let myself be with the road and
my thoughts.

	My life didn't seem so bad all of the sudden, I could have had it a
lot worse.  My parents hadn't disowned me for being gay, I had great
friends, I was getting an education, I lived in a beautiful house, had my
dream car, and pretty much had everything anyone could want out of life.  I
felt a million times better.  I realized that no matter what happened
between Phoenix and me I would be okay.  I would get through this just like
I got through everything else.

	Just as I was realizing that life was good my cell phone started to
ring.  I turned down the radio and threw my cigarette out the window, and
then I looked down at the caller ID.  It was Phoenix. I took a deep breath
and answered the phone.

	"Hello."

	"Hey, what's up?"

	"Not much, what's up with you?"

	"Nothin'.  Look, Adam, we really need to talk.  Where are you?"

	"I don't really know.  I decided to take a drive and now I'm in the
middle of nowhere."

	"Well, can you meet me somewhere?"

"Sure name the place."

	"Um, that coffee shop we went to yesterday."

	"Alright, give me a half hour."

	"Okay, I'll see you in a few."

	"Alright, bye."

	"Bye."

	I downshifted and pulled the car into a quick u-turn to head back
the way I came.  My mood had changed dramatically in that 30-second
conversation.  I went from calming down to nervous and had ended up for
some strange reason, at angry.  I cranked up some Godsmack and drove faster
back towards town than I had getting out of town.  I got to the coffee shop
in 15 minutes.  I hadn't expected Phoenix to be there, but he was waiting
for me when I got there.

	I got out of my car hesitantly not really knowing what to expect.
He got up out of his seat when he saw me and gave me a hug.  I was really
surprised at this gesture.  I thought he would probably be standoffish and
somewhat belligerent.  That was how he handled unpleasant situations.  He
was usually so nasty with others around him when he was uncomfortable.  We
sat down and I waited for him to begin.

	"Did you get my e-mail?"

	"Yeah, I got it."  It was my turn to be a little standoffish.  I
don't really know why, it just felt like the right thing to do at that
moment.

	"Well?"

	"Well what?  What do you want me to say Phoenix?  I guess I agree
with you that we shouldn't have had sex yesterday.  But, I have to say I am
definitely upset.  I really want us to be together.  I know we can't but
that is what I want.  I want to make a life for the two of us.  I want us
to grow old together or at least have a couple of good years.  I don't
know.  I'm so fucking confused."

	"Adam, I can't even tell you how confused I am.  I went home last
night and just thought about what happened for hours.  I thought about what
it would be like to be with you.  I thought about what would happen if I
weren't with you.  I thought about how this conversation would go today.
All I could come up with is that I love you.  I just don't know how I love
you.  I don't know anything.  Usually, this is where I would ask you for
help, but I can't this time, because it directly concerns you.  I just wish
things could be easier.  I don't want this to be as hard as it is."

	"Well, the way I see it right now is, we have a few options here.
We can just decide we are a couple, which I would like, but I don't think
you are ready to take that kind of step.  We could just put the sex past us
and work on rebuilding our friendship, or we can just walk the fuck away
and forget that we ever knew each other.  It's up to you Phoenix.  I can do
any of those things.  I can't say that I want to walk away, but if that is
what you want well then I guess I'll just have to deal with that.  So,
what's it gonna be Phoenix?"

	"Well, I know I can't give you a relationship at this moment and I
know that I don't want to walk away from you, so, I guess my decision is
that we have to just try and rebuild and see what we can do."

	"If that is the way you want it, that's fine with me."

	"Alright then, so we're just gonna start over."

	We sat there in silence for a few more minutes, neither of us
really knowing what to say.  I finally broke the silence.

	"I'm going home...you coming with me?"

	A smile spread across my face.  "Yeah."

	With that, we got in our cars and headed to my house to begin a
"new" friendship.  I watched him closely in the rearview mirror.  I didn't
know what I thought I was going to see, but for some reason I felt that if
I kept an eye on him I would know what was in store for me when we got to
my house.

	We got out of our cars and walked up to the house in silence.  I
didn't know if that was good or bad.  My mind raced looking for topics that
I could talk to him about.  It had always been so easy before we had sex.
Conversation had just come naturally to the two of us.  Now, it felt
awkward and strained.

	We plopped down in front of the television.  It was easier that
way.  Neither of us had to talk.  We watched movies for the rest of the
day.  At one point, Phoenix suggested we go in the hot tub, but then he
changed his mind, pretending that he wasn't in the mood.  I knew he was
scared that if we got naked in front of one another we would have a repeat
of yesterday.  He certainly didn't want that.  God forbid he actually deal
with something he didn't want to.  I was starting to get angry again.  I
sat there not really paying attention to the movie, just hoping that he
would say he had to go.  Eventually, he did.  I never felt so relieved in
my life.

	After Phoenix walked out the front door, I burst into tears.  I was
a complete mess.  There was nothing I could do.  I had completely ruined my
friendship all because I let my hormones take over.

	Then, all of the sudden it dawned on me.  What would have happened
if I had stopped him?  Would things have been as bad as they were right
now?  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that they probably
would have been worse.  There probably would have been no conversation
today.  In fact, I probably would never have seen Phoenix again.  I thanked
the heavens at that moment that that had not been the case.

***

	I moped around the house for the next couple of weeks.  I spent a
lot of time crying and not knowing whether Phoenix was ever going to come
around.  We tried to put up a front.  We still hung out every day and did
almost everything together.  We went out clubbing, and shopping and did all
of the normal things we had always done, but it seemed different.  It was
different.  I knew a change had to come about and it had to come about
soon.  I just didn't know how to make that change happen.  I knew the only
way the misery was going to end was to change something about our
"routine," the only problem was I didn't know how to change it.

	I spent hours on the phone with Zoë trying to figure out what I
was going to do.  She was about ready to kill me.  She had finally had
enough and told me that until I stopped being such an idiot, she wasn't
going to talk to me.  I was getting more and more depressed.  I wanted to
escape.

	Finally one weekend I decided to go away by myself.  I figured I
could clear my head and not be completely stressed out by spending the
whole weekend with Phoenix.  I decided to go to Provincetown.  I didn't
know what I was going to do when I got there, but I figured as long as I
was by myself I would have a good time.  So, on a bright sunny Friday
afternoon in early summer, I hopped in my car and headed towards the gay
mecca of the Northeast.

	About four hours later I was wandering down Commercial Street in
the heart of Provincetown, just taking in the sights and the sounds.  It
was amazing to me.  Men were walking around hand in hand, unashamed of who
they were and what they were doing.  All of the sudden, I felt a huge sense
of relaxation, relief, and pride.  I was so happy at that moment I thought
I would burst.  Right then and there I knew I was going to have the time of
my life.

	I spent a little time taking in the sights (mostly the hot
shirtless men walking down the street), and then I decided to go back to my
hotel room and get ready for the Tea Dance.  Then Tea Dance was a daily
occurrence in Provincetown.  Everyone in town walked down to the Boatslip,
and basically got drunk, cruised guys, and danced.  I was a little nervous
being that I had never gone out to a bar alone, never mind going to a
circuit party by myself.

	I got there and I was completely intimidated.  All of the guys
there looked like they came right out of a magazine ad; perfectly chiseled
bodies as well as beautiful faces.  Not one of them had a shirt on and I
felt a little out of place still wearing mine, but at the same time I was
hesitant to take it off.  I didn't have a gross body by any means; it's
just that I wasn't nearly as defined as any of the other guys there.  I
decided that I would get a drink.

	I got on the incredibly long bar line and waited patiently just
watching everyone else.  All of the sudden I felt a tap on my shoulder.  I
turned around not knowing what to expect.  I was faced with probably the
most gorgeous man I had ever seen in my life.  He was about 6 feet tall,
dark shoulder length hair, and the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever
seen.  He had the most wonderful chest and 6 pack.  There probably wasn't
an ounce of fat or a hair on his body and based on the bulge in his square
cut swimsuit he was very well endowed.

	"Hi" he said

	"Hi," I replied a little shocked that this Adonis was speaking to
me.

	"What's your name?"

	"Adam."

	"Well hi Adam, I'm Aidan," he said shaking my hand.

	"Nice to meet you," I said, still not sure why this hottie was
talking to me.

	"I haven't seen you at Tea before.  Are you here for the weekend."

	"Yeah, I decided to take a little vacation."

	"That's cool.  Are you here by yourself, or do you have friends
with you?"

	"Nope, I'm here by myself.  I decided I needed to escape my life
for a weekend, so I decided to come up here and relax."

	"Well you picked the right spot to escape to.  P-town is all about
relaxing, partying, and of course sex."  I thought his last statement was a
little forward, but I decided to just keep talking to him.  After all he
was fucking hot.

	"Well, I hope to do some relaxing and some partying, and sex is
always good, but I'm not gonna count on that."  By that time, we had gotten
to the front of the line and were ordering drinks.  He bought me a vodka
and cranberry, which was a little odd, but a free drink is a free drink, so
I gladly accepted it.

	"Hey, you wanna dance?"

	"Sure," I said.  With that, we drank our drinks really quickly and
headed for the dance floor.

	I had been to a lot of clubs in my life, but never had I seen a
dance floor as packed as this one was.  It was full of half naked men
gyrating to the music.  It was just amazing to me.  The dance floor smelled
of sex and sweat.  Everyone's hormones were in overdrive.  To the left of
me there were two guys practically having sex, to my right there was a guy
going down on someone who may or may not have been his boyfriend.  The
whole scene just screamed excess.  I thought about running away but then I
decided that I was a big boy and I could handle this.

	Aidan began to grind up on me.  He was so sexual on the dance
floor.  He was one of those guys that you could just tell was good in bed
by the way he danced.  I felt myself starting to get somewhat aroused from
the close contact with this beautiful boy.  Still, I just kept dancing.
Nothing was going to stop me.  I had escaped from my life and was indulging
in the most hedonistic behavior I could have imagined.  It was getting
hotter; I was sweating like a pig.  I knew if I didn't do something soon I
was going to pass out.  Aidan danced in closer to me and yelled into my
ear.

	"You look like you're going to pass out, why don't you take your
shirt off?"

	"I don't know," I yelled hesitantly, "I'm not nearly as ripped as
the rest of these guys."

	"Come on.  Don't worry about it.  I bet you are fucking hot with
your shirt off."

	Well that did it; I immediately took my shirt off.  As my shirt
came off, all of my inhibitions went out the window.  I let every ounce of
sense I had drift out of my body.  It was all about instant gratification
at that moment.  I leaned in and kissed Aidan hungrily and to my surprise
he kissed me back.  It was a desperate kiss.  It felt like we were
attacking one another.  We continued to kiss and dance for what felt like
minutes, but it was actually 2 hours.  The tea dance was over.  I expected
him to just walk away, but to my surprise he asked me to go get something
to eat with him.

	We both put our shirts back on and headed out onto Commercial
Street.  As we walked we chatted about our lives.  It turned out he was a
student at Boston College and had come up for the weekend with a group of
friends.  They were just looking for something interesting to do and on the
spur of the moment decided to hop in the car and head up the cape to the
gayest of gay places.

	I told him a little bit about myself but I was very careful not to
give him too much information.  I liked the idea of anonymity.  If I let
him in to any part of my life that would make him and this whole trip way
too real for me.  I just wasn't in the frame of mind for that.  I didn't
want to actually like him; I just wanted things to be as casual as
possible.

	We decided to get a couple of slices of pizza.  Once inside the
restaurant we chitchatted a little more and had a few laughs.  After we
finished out slices we headed back out onto Commercial.

	"You wanna go sit on the beach for a while?"

	"Sure," I replied.  "I love the beach and the moon is beautiful.
I'm sure it's really nice out there right now."

	With that he took my hand and we headed for the beach.  We found a
secluded spot and sat down.  Once we found our spot I was surprised when he
motioned for me to cuddle up with him.  I was still amazed that this
beautiful guy was interested in me.  We just sat there for a while staring
at the stars and enjoying the motion of the waves.  Then we started
kissing.  Soon the kissing progressed into some serious groping and before
I knew what was happening he was going down on me.

	He must have been a porn star or something because he sucked dick
like a pro.  He didn't gag and there was no slurping.  It was the best
blowjob I had ever gotten.  I felt like it was only right that I blow him
in return.  After all, fair is fair right?

	I peeled off his sexy little square cuts and went to work on his
fully aroused 8" cock.  I slowly licked the shaft up and down and then went
to work on the beautiful mushroom tip.  I knew there was no way I was going
to be able to deep throat all of it, so I did my best bobbing up and down.
I had never enjoyed sucking dick more than I did at that moment.  He let
out a slight moan and whimpered.  Before long I had him writhing with
pleasure.  I was really quite proud of myself.  I had always been a little
nervous about my dick sucking skills.  I had never had any complaints, but
I had also never had a reaction like the one I got from Aidan.  I continued
to suck making sure to pay close attention to the point where the head
meets the shaft.  It had been my experience that that was the easiest spot
to elicit pleasure from.  I continued on for quite a while, in my glory
that I was sucking such a beautiful mans dick.  After a while Aidan, pulled
me back up to face him.  He kissed me deeply.

	"I want to fuck you," he breathed deeply.

	All I did was nod.  I wasn't sure how this was going to work seeing
as I didn't have any lube, although I did have a condom in my back pocket.
I laid down in the sand and let him take the lead.

	He grabbed my legs and flung them up over his shoulders then moved
down on my body.  I wasn't sure what he was going to do.  I was completely
surprised when he began to tongue my ass.  I had never been rimmed before,
in fact I had always been completely repulsed by the thought, but the
feelings coursing through my body as he stuck his tongue in my hole were
amazing.  I was screaming in pleasure.  He continued to rim me until I
didn't think I could take it anymore.

	"Are you ready to get fucked?"

	All I could do was utter a guttural "Uh huh."  I searched for my
pants; I knew they were close by.  I found the condom in my pocket and
handed it to him.  He quickly ripped the package open and slid the condom
down his long, fat shaft.  He then turned me over, gave my ass one last
long lick, spit into his palm and lubed his dick with the saliva.  I braced
myself for the biggest dick I had ever taken.  I felt the head of his penis
pushing at my hole.  I relaxed as much as I could and braced myself.  My
hole began to burn as he slowly inserted his cock inch by inch.  By the
time he was completely in, the pain was gone.  He started slowly taking
long strokes in and out of my ass.  The feeling was amazing.  He began to
quicken his pace and soon he was pounding my ass like there was no
tomorrow.  It felt like his dick was going to come out of my throat.  I was
screaming again.  I was in a complete and total state of lust.  He fucked
me harder and harder.  My whole body was digging into the sand.  As he was
fucking my ass he mumbled and grunted.

	"Adam, your ass is so tight.  I wanna fuck you harder.  You like
that?  You like when I fuck the shit out of you?"

	He began smacking my ass.  It was straight out of a porn movie.  I
had never had such raw sex.  There was no emotion attached it was just pure
fucking.  I wanted to see the look on his face.  I managed to push him off
long enough to turn over.  I threw me legs over his shoulders again and he
continued to pound my ass for all he was worth.  His facial expressions
were wonderful.  His face was twisted into a look of pure concentration.
There was nothing else at that moment, just our two bodies connected by his
huge cock.  I began to jerk myself off as he was fucking me.  Soon, that
tingly feeling overtook my body.  I knew I was close.  I began to scream
louder, until that inevitable moment was upon us.

	"Aidan, Aidan, I'm gonna cum.  Come on fuck me harder, I'm gonna
uh, uh, oh my God, uhhhhhhhhhhhh."  And with that, I shot my load all over
my chest and stomach.  As I came, his whole body went rigid and he started
to convulse.  He pulled out of ripped the condom off and came all over
me. Once his orgasm had subsided he collapsed in a heap on top of me.

	We sat there for a while with our thoughts, and then something
occurred to me.  I had just done what I said I would never do.  I had just
had sex with a complete stranger.  Immediately feelings of guilt and regret
swept over me.  I had just let myself down.  I let myself down all because
I was trying to escape.  All I had proved to myself was that I was a slut
and all I could do was think about Phoenix and what he would say when he
found out I had done this.  How was I going to deal with all of this?  What
was I going to do?

Hope you all liked chapter 6.  It was a definite departure from the usual
Adam/Phoenix dynamic.  This was a little bit experimental for me.  For
those of you who have been sending me feedback tell me what you think of
this chapter and for those of you who haven't please feel free to send me
some now.  Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to send me your
comments.  They mean a lot to me.  See you all next chapter.
Alreadychosen06460@yahoo.com