Date: Sun, 21 Dec 2008 17:37:27 -0600
From: Lone Wolf <kk.lonewolf.37@gmail.com>
Subject: Zack and Jay chapter 16

Zack and Jay

Chapter 16

Author: Kevin



Part 1

When we get to our bedroom Jay grabs me and pulls me into a very passionate
kiss. He grabs the bottom of my sweatshirt and carefully pulls it off over
my head. He then reaches down and unbuttons and unzips my jeans. He slides
his hand down my back and into my underwear. He cups my ass in his hand and
pulls me into him. I wrap my arms around his neck; he picks me up and
carries me to our bed.

He gently sets me down on it and climbs on top of me. I can already feel
him getting hard as he rubs his crotch back and forth against mine. After a
few minutes of him laying on top of me and us making out we make slow
passionate love to each other. We fall asleep in each other's arms.

I again dream of Josh's funeral and just before they close his casket he
changes into Jay. I wake up on the verge of tears, but don't scream this
time. I manage to calm myself down without waking Jay up. I get up and go
check on Shawn. He is sound asleep.

I decide to go down to my studio and work on another Christmas present for
Jay; another family portrait of us. Using my computer I remote connect to
my computer at my parent's house and then using the computer program mom
designed for me, I put together a collage that I think he will like. I
print it out and head down to my studio. I work for about two hours until
there is a knock on the door.

"Hang on Jay. Please don't come in. I'll be right out."

I hear him turn and walk away. I finish what I am doing and clean up. I
then go find him. He is in the kitchen drinking a glass of juice.

As soon as he sees me he can tell something is wrong, "What's the matter?"

I really don't want to get into it again with him but say, "I had another
dream and needed to clear my head."

He comes to me and pulls me into a hug and holds me for a few minutes. He
then asks, "Why didn't you wake me up so we could talk about it?"

"Because I didn't want to bother you, you were sleeping so soundly. I just
couldn't do it."

"Zack, you know you can wake me up anytime you need to, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know."

"What where you doing down in your studio that you didn't want me see? I
think that was the first time you have ever had the door closed while you
were working."

"I was working on a Christmas present for you! Ok, nosey?"

"Boy somebody is in a bad mood."

"No I'm not. I just don't want you going in there and ruining the surprise
I am working on for you. Ok?"

"Ok. I promise I will stay out of your studio. I know how much Christmas
means to you."

"What time is it?"

He picks his phone up off the counter and looks at it, "It's five o'clock."

"I'm going back to bed. Are you coming?"

"I was actually thinking as long as I am up I would go for a run."

I consider joining him for a minute and then decide against it. I tell him,
"Jay I would like to join you but I have been up for a couple of hours and
I am really tired. Make sure you wake me up around eight or eight thirty,
and I'll make you breakfast. Ok?"

"Ok. I love you and wish you would talk to me."

"I love you too, and please understand I will talk to you if I need to or
when I am ready."

"I'll see you in a few hours," he says as he pulls me into another hug and
gives me a kiss.

He holds me for a few minutes and then slowly pulls away looking into my
eyes. It feels like he is trying to look into my soul and 'see' what I am
feeling. He gives me another kiss and I head upstairs and go back to bed. I
fall asleep almost instantly and sleep soundly and dreamlessly.

Part 2

Hi everyone, Jay again. I know it's been a long time since I have
written. I have been really busy the last few months with school and
counseling. I have been talking to a guy and want to share his story. I
have changed his name for his protection because of his situation. I'm sure
you all will understand, after reading this, why I am doing that.

I first met Sam after he had talked to Phil a few times. Phil asked if I
would sit in on a session with him.  After giving me a brief background; I
agreed without hesitation. Phil had told me that Sam was sent to him after
he was contacted by an employee assistance program that a local employer
uses and Phil does some work with in the evenings.

I could tell that he was hiding something in the first few minutes of that
session. I wasn't sure what but I knew for a fact there was something. When
he finally told me I was floored. I never saw it coming. I will try to tell
his story in his words as much as possible but some things I will change to
protect his identity if Zack ever decides to get this published; which by
the way, I think he should.

I start out our first private session with Sam by explaining to him I felt
like he was hiding something the last time. He hesitates for a few minutes
then says, "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Sam, I am here to help you. Phil asked me to sit in on your last session
and see if I thought you could use my services. Did he tell you what I
specialize in?"

"No he didn't. What is it?"

"I specialize in helping guys come to terms with who and what they are."

"What does that mean?"

"I help guys with their feelings about their sexuality. I help guys accept
the fact that they are gay or bi."

He becomes very agitated at this point and I am expecting him to get up and
leave but he never moves.  Then to my surprise he starts crying. He doesn't
say anything for a long time. He just sits there with tears streaming down
his face.

After about ten minutes he finally asks, "How did you know?"

"I don't know anything, I only felt like you were hiding something. Phil is
the one that suspects there is something about your sexuality you are
hiding, not me. I am here for you no matter what it is you are hiding. And
from what you just said and your reaction I now know there is definitely
something. Are you ready to talk about it?"

"Honestly? I don't know. But I need to tell someone. I can't keep it in any
longer."

"You can tell me anything. There is nothing you can say that will offend
me. I have heard it all before in some form or another."

He thinks about that for a minute and then says, "I don't know where to
start."

"Well the first thing I must know is what you are hiding."

"I am gay."

I didn't expect him to say that. I thought maybe bi as he is married with
kids but not that. I try my best to hide my surprise but he notices
anyways.

"I thought you have heard it all?" he asks sarcastically.

"I have. I just wasn't expecting you to say that or maybe how quickly you
were able to say it shocked me. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize. I understand. God it shocks the shit out of
me and I am living it."

"Well, if it helps you open up and tell me everything, I'm gay too," I tell
him.

"No way!" he says.

"Yeah, I am. Actually, my husband helped me realize it. I was lying to
myself and everyone saying I was straight. I was a virgin when we were
together the first time. The sex was amazing that night and every time
since."

"Thank you. That does help. I would never have taken you for being gay."

"Ok, now are you ready to talk?" I ask him.

"Yeah, but I still don't know where to begin," he says.

"How about at the beginning," I tell him.

"Ok. When I got married I honestly thought I was bi, but for the last
couple of years I have been thinking more and more that I may be gay. It
has gotten to the point that I have to think about being with a guy to get
hard when I am with my wife. I don't know what to make of it," he says.

"Well, why don't you tell me everything? Maybe we can find your answers
together. And talking about it all should help you figure out what you want
and need."

"I was fourteen when I lost my virginity. He was a neighbor. I don't really
remember how it happened but I do know we used to jack off together all the
time. After a while, one day while we were jacking off I leaned over and
took his cock in my mouth. He didn't try to stop me. He moved his hand out
of the way so I could suck him off better. He laid back and enjoyed his
first blowjob. He came in my mouth in just a few minutes. I knew right then
that I loved the taste of cum. I was hooked.

"He sucked on my dick for a while but he didn't allow me to cum in his
mouth that day, but I did later on.  Over time we did more and more to
include fucking each other. The sex with him was awesome. I'm not sure if
it was the teen hormones or just the need to get off, but I do know even
after being together just about every day after school and when we could
find time on the weekends, holidays, and vacations from school, I didn't
love him.

"We were at his house one day after school; his parents came home early
from work for some reason and found us together in his bed. We were making
so much noise moaning during sex that we never heard them until they both
walked into his bedroom. I remember his mother screaming, 'Oh my God, what
are you doing to my son?'

"I grabbed the blankets from the bottom of the bed were they had ended up
and threw them around me and over him. His father said, 'Get dressed and
get downstairs both of you, now!' and they walked out slamming the door.

"I was scared shitless. I didn't know what they would do. I was so scared
they would call my parents and tell them what was going on. He seemed so
calm, it's like he didn't care they had found out. Thinking back on it now
it was almost like he was glad they had caught us; almost like it had saved
him the trouble of telling them.

"That was the last time we were ever together. His parents forbid us to see
each other alone again. We could see each other but only at his house when
his parents were home and not in his room. I was 15 when that happened. It
devastated me. I had lost probably the closest friend I have ever had.

"They put their house up for sale sometime right after they had caught us
together and moved away. I did receive one letter from him about three
months after they moved but his parents wouldn't even let him put their new
address on it so I could write back. He told me in the letter that his mom
made him let her read it before she would allow him to mail it and had made
him rewrite it removing some things.

"I honestly believe they thought I had made him gay. That's another thing;
he could say it and I couldn't.  When we got downstairs after his parents
had caught us and they started talking; well more like yelling, he said it
right out, 'Mom, dad; I am gay.' I couldn't believe he had said that.

"Granted I had been having gay sex with him for over a year, but I didn't
consider myself gay. I liked girls, but I also liked what I had had with
him. I was really confused.

"I finished up high school without having any more sex with anyone except
my hand. I did have a girlfriend for a while but we never did anything. We
just went out on dates; nothing ever came of it. I think we weren't
compatible or something, not really sure.

"Ok. That's not really true. I did do something with someone one night
shortly after that. I was so horny I couldn't help myself. I woke up and
had to go to the bathroom. After going, and returning to my bedroom that I
shared with my older brother, I noticed he was laying in bed uncovered and
naked. I remember getting instantly hard as I stood there looking at him in
the dim light coming in the window. I knelt down by the side of the bed and
very carefully took his soft cock in my mouth. I sucked on it for a few
minutes until he woke up and realized what was going on. He pulled away
from me for about thirty seconds and then reached up and placed his hand on
the back of my head and guided me back to his hard cock. I'm not sure why I
did it but it was what I needed, I guess. I came just by him cumming in my
mouth. I never once touched myself. It was so hot and I was so turned on
for some reason."

This next part was very hard for Sam to tell me. I am writing this in
chronological order but it was one of the last things he told me. After
talking about it with a friend he was finally able to say he knew he was
gay.

Sam continues talking, "Just before graduation I was invited to a party one
Saturday night at an acquaintance from school's house. He said there was
going to be a bunch of people there that wanted to get to know me better. I
hesitated answering whether I would go or not. I stuck pretty much to
myself in school and didn't have that many friends. I wondered why he was
inviting me, somebody he barely knew.  I told him I would have to think
about it and would let him know. He said, "OK."

The next day I saw him in the hall and told him I would be there. He said,
"Great see you there!" and moved on down the hall. I watched as he walked
away and when he got about twenty five feet away he turned to one of his
friends he was walking with and gave him a high five and yelled, "Yes!"

"At the time I thought he was just glad I was going to be there and in a
way I was right, but not how I thought. When I showed up at the party there
were a couple of cars in the driveway but not as many as there should have
been for a party the size he said he was having. I didn't think much of it
and went and knocked on the door.

"As soon as I knocked, the door was flung open and I was looking down the
barrel of a gun. I froze. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I was grabbed
and pulled into the house and the door was closed and locked behind me. I
can still remember the sound of the deadbolt as it seated in the door
jam. It sounded like a gunshot going off in my head.

"That brought me back to my senses a little and I started thinking this is
some kind of prank or something. I would find out all too quickly how wrong
I was. The guy holding the gun moved closer to me and held it to my head as
another appeared and wrapped something around my head and into my mouth
gagging me. I was forced up stairs and into a bedroom.

"As soon as I walked into the room I knew this wasn't a prank. There was
another guy from school naked and tied to the bed. He was laying on his
back with his arms pulled tight and tied to the headboard. He also had
ropes tied around his knees. They were pulled up to just about his chest
and the other ends of the ropes were tied to the frame of the bed. He was
also gagged and I could tell from the look in his eyes he was scared
shitless.

"They told me to sit in a chair that was next to the bed. I did and then
pieces of rope appeared along with a bunch more guys. They tried to tie me
to the chair but I resisted until I felt the barrel of the gun at my
temple. I quit fighting and let them tie me up. I was sitting in such a way
that I could see the face if the guy on the bed clearly and much of what
was going on around us. There was a door behind me that I thought was a
closet but I learned after a while it was a bathroom.

"I'm not sure how long I was there before the guy that had invited me
finally walked into the room. Time seemed to stand still for me. I looked
at him and tried yelling for him to help us but with the gag in my mouth it
only came out as a muffled unintelligible mumble.

"He smiled and said, 'Good we're all here let's get this party started.' A
guy came out of the bathroom behind me naked, hard and already wearing a
condom. He spread a bunch of some sort of lubricant over the other guy's
ass climbed up onto the bed. He knelt between the guys legs, lined his cock
up with the guy's asshole and shoved it in all the way without
stopping. The guy being raped let out a scream that if he hadn't been
gagged I know would have been heard three houses away.

"The guy that invited me reappeared from the bathroom and told someone to
go downstairs and turn on the stereo in the living room loudly. He then
asked the kid tied to the bed, 'Do you know why you are here? Why we are
doing this to you?'

"All he could do is shake his head and that must have been a challenge from
the beating his rear end was taking. He had tears streaming from his eyes
and I could tell he was outright crying. The guy that had asked the
questions said, 'We are doing this to you because we know you are gay. If
you like to get fucked we will be more than glad to do it to you anytime we
want.'

"Around that time the guy doing the raping must have cum because he climbed
off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom behind me and another guy
came out seconds later. He climbed up on the bed and did his thing.

"'Do you know why you are here?' he asked me. I shook my head no. He said,
'Because we think you are gay too, but can't prove it. We know you have
been caught checking guys out in the locker room during gym, but you also
have a really hot girlfriend. If we find out that you are gay we will be
having another party.

"All I could do was think, 'Oh my God, we're both going to die here.' After
a while and about half of the guys had taken their turn, I couldn't take
any more and closed my eyes. I was slapped across the face and told to
watch what would happen to me if they ever found out I was gay. I
refused. I heard someone go into the bathroom and come back out. I felt
pressure on the side of my face, then pain, and something warm running down
my cheek. I opened my eyes and see a bloody razor in front of my face. I
was told if I close my eyes again I would be cut every time. That's how I
got this scar," he says pointing to a two and a half inch scar on his right
check just above his beard line and below his upper jaw bone.

Sam continues, "After all ten guys had taken their turn they untied me and
told me to get out. I asked about the other kid but they said, 'Don't worry
about him; we'll make sure he gets home alright. If either of you talk
about what happened here tonight we will find you and kill you. There is no
way they will be able to get to all ten of us at once. The word will get
around that something is up and we will kill you both.' That is the last
time I saw him alive.

"Sometime later they must have let him go or took him home or something
because the next day he committed suicide. His mother found him in his bed
the next afternoon; he had taken an over dose of his mother's prescription
sleeping pills.

"I could not bring myself to go to his funeral but the guys that caused him
so much emotional pain and suffering did. I heard from a couple
acquaintances that they acted like nothing was wrong. I never told them why
I had asked, I just asked how so and so handled it. Or how did this one or
that one act?

"Shortly after graduating from high school I got into a huge fight with my
parents mainly because of the emotional problems I had with what happened
and I move out. I got my own apartment and shortly after that I met the
second guy I would have sex with. We had some of the most amazing sex I
have ever had.  He was huge and made me feel so full when he was inside
me. I thought I was in love for the first time in my life. But shortly I
would find out what he was really like. He became very possessive and
wouldn't let me talk to or see my friends. He wanted to know where I was
every second of the day. It became so bad that he would show up at work and
start arguments about where I had been or why I hadn't called him. I had to
finally end the relationship to protect myself. I wasn't sure how bad it
would get and wasn't willing to find out.

"Just before I broke it off with him my mother stopped in one afternoon. I
had just had long passionate sex with him and he had fallen asleep in my
bed. While she was there, she had to use the bathroom. The bathroom was off
my bedroom and I completely forgot he was in my bed. As she came out of the
bathroom she looked at my bed and stopped for a second or two, but never
said a word to me about it.

"During that time I had started drinking and alcohol became my life. I
would start drinking when I got up in the morning and wouldn't stop until I
went to bed at night. It got so bad that if I went to work sober my boss
thought something was wrong. If I went to work drunk everything was
alright. Being drunk became the norm for me.

"Sometime around then I met the woman I would eventually marry and we
became really good friends. I was sexually drawn to her and wanted her to
be my girlfriend, but she wouldn't because she had a boyfriend at the
time. Shortly after meeting her she introduced me to a friend of hers and
he and I became really good friends too. One night when the friend and I
were hanging out he asked if I would consider having a three way with him
and his girlfriend. I thought about it for about two seconds but waited a
little longer to answer. I thought he was hot. After a few minutes I said
yes. We made arrangements to meet up at my apartment the following day.

"When they got there I was up and ready. I had cleaned the apartment and
everything was put away. He didn't waste any time getting started. As soon
as they walked in he grabbed his girlfriend and pulled her to him giving
her a very passionate kiss. He then looked at me and said, 'Come here.' I
was under the impression, from our conversation the day before, that this
was what she wanted so I went to her and tried to kiss her but he stopped
me. He pulled me to him and kissed me on the lips. I was a little shocked
because I never thought he would do anything with a guy but I quickly
recovered and kissed him back. We made our way to my bedroom and slowly
undressed each other with his girlfriend helping us out of our clothes. She
took over and told us what 'she' wanted us to do to each other. Well
actually what he had told her he wanted us to do to each other.

"I remember it was so hot and she seemed to enjoy watching us do the things
she was telling us to do.  We sucked each other off for a while and then
performed a classic sixty-nine on each other for a few minutes until I was
so close to cuming I had to pull away from him.

"She then asked me if it was alright if her boyfriend fucked me. It had
been a few months since I had been fucked and wanted it so bad. I said yes
without even thinking about it. He found a box of condoms and a bottle of
lube in his girlfriend's purse and put one on. He lubed himself up and then
me. She wanted me on my knees so he could fuck me doggy style. I complied
and he got between my legs and slowly penetrated me. He wasn't as big as my
ex but he still felt great in me. He slowly pushed his cock into me but
wasn't going fast enough for me. So I pushed back into him burying his cock
in my ass as far as it would go. He let out a moan of passion as I kept
pushing back into him as he started to fuck me.

"After a while we began matching each other's thrust. Soon he was starting
to get very close to shooting his load and his girlfriend could tell. She
reached under me and between my legs and started stroking me. As her
boyfriend pounded my ass she jacked me off. I could feel his cock getting
harder and harder and growing bigger with each pump into my ass. I could
tell he was getting close and so was I.

"He plowed my ass a few more times and then buried his cock in me. I could
feel his balls pulled up tight to the base of his cock and it felt like he
was trying to force them into my ass too. That was all it took and I came
all over my bed as he came in my ass. I could feel each twitch of his cock
as he filled the condom up with his cum. All too soon it was over and he
pulled out of me; I felt empty as I laid there recovering from the orgasm.

"We laid there talking for a while, him in the middle and me and his
girlfriend on either side of him. He said that the sex was amazing and
wanted to try something else. He said he wanted me to fuck him. I was
really surprised by that. I said that I didn't know he was bi. He said he
wasn't, he was just curious what it would feel like being fucked by another
guy. I told him it was an amazing feeling if done right. He asked if he had
done it right. I looked into his eyes and said yes.

"He reached down and slowly started stroking my cock. That was the first
time he had touched me and it felt great. He seemed to know what he was
doing and I was hard very quickly. He got another condom out of his
girlfriend's purse and put it on me. He lubed us both up and told me to get
between his legs.  He said he wanted to watch my face as I came in his
ass. I slowly penetrated him and could tell by the look on his face I was
hurting him.

"I told him to bear down slightly and the pain would let up. I held still
as I felt him bear down. I waited for him to relax a little and adjust to
me being in him. After a few minutes he told me to go ahead. As slowly as I
could I slid in a little more. He let out a gasp from the pain and I
stopped again. It took about a half hour to finally get my cock all the way
into him.

"His girlfriend lay next to him talking to him and encouraging him the
whole time. After a few more minutes he told me to go ahead, and I slowly
starting fucking him. It took a while but he finally started enjoying my
cock in his ass. He made out with his girlfriend as I fucked him. He moaned
with every thrust I made into him. I adjusted my position slightly so I
could drive my cock into his prostate and he started moaning louder.

"After a few minutes he told me to fuck him harder. I started to force my
cock into him as hard as I could. Even having just cum, I was so turned on
by him I came again in just a few more minutes. His girlfriend had been
slowly jacking him off and as I came in his ass he came all over his
stomach.

"I couldn't believe how this day had gone. It was better than I could have
imagined. I couldn't have dreamed that I would have ended up being fucked
and fucking one of my closest friends with his girlfriend in bed with us. I
was feeling really screwed up. I could just imagine what he was feeling.
Someone that says and thinks he is straight fucking and being fucked by
another guy. I never found out what he thought about it, because that day
destroyed our friendship. From what I was told by his girlfriend he had
trouble dealing with how he had felt after what happened that day and
refused to see me again. I think it was his way of not having to face his
true feelings about what happened.

 "I think that is why I refuse to cheat on anyone I am with or to allow
another person into any relationship I am in. I truly believe monogamy is
the only way to have a real relationship with someone. If you take the time
to build a relationship with someone, why would you take the chance of
ruining it by allowing someone else into it? It just seems wrong to me. And
after losing the friendship I had because of what happened that day, I will
feel like that until the day I die.

"Shorty after, while drinking heavily one night with another friend, we
were screwing around with each other. We had a habit if one of us said
something that the other person didn't like we would say 'blow me'. I
honestly don't remember what he said to me but I remember telling him to
blow me. He opened his mouth and wiggled his tongue at me. I became
instantly hard. I was hornier than I ever remember being up to that time. I
kept saying off the wall things to him to see if I could get him to say it
to me. Finally he did. I opened my mouth and wiggled my tongue back at
him. He got up walked across the living room of my apartment and dropped
his jeans and underwear in front of me.

"I think the main reason he did that was because of the amount of alcohol
we both had drunk that night but there was no way I was going to pass up
the opportunity to suck his nine inch cock. I leaned forward in my chair
and took his soft cock into my mouth. He pulled back shocked for a few
seconds. I sat there looking up at him until he moved back standing right
next to the chair I was sitting in. He said, 'If you want to go ahead.'

"That's all it took. I stood up and had him sit in my chair. I got onto my
knees between his feet and gave him a blow job. With the alcohol flowing
through both of our systems it took quite an effort to get him to cum but
when he did he came so much I had trouble swallowing it all. After cleaning
him up with my tongue he stood up, pulled up his jeans, walked over to the
corner of the room, laid down on the floor and passed out.

"The following morning neither of us mentioned it. To this day I have never
asked him about it. I don't think he remembers that day at all. I honestly
think he was so drunk he doesn't know what happened.  And I will never tell
him.

"A few months later I joined the Army and was in heaven, literally, for a
few months. Fifty guys living in one large room, dressing and showering
together, all the cock and ass I could look at. But the feelings I had for
my 'girlfriend' got stronger and stronger. When I left I had hoped they
would go away but they didn't. I eventually figured out I loved her. We
actually started dating or seeing each other or however you want to say it
while I was away. We wrote each other at least once a week, sometimes
twice, talked on the phone when we could. I realized I was in love with
her.

"I knew if I was going to make a life for myself with her I would never be
able to tell her I was bi. So I made a decision that I would never have sex
with another guy as long as we were together. I left a piece of myself
behind and moved on with her.

"After getting out of the military we dated and finally got engaged. I
never told her about my past gay sexual experiences. I lived the life of a
straight man and that is the way I wanted it. Over the years our love grew
even more with the births of each of our kids. But I was slowly falling out
of love with her. I love her very much to this day, but I am not in love
with her.

"Each birth of our kids got worse and worse on her physically. We were very
lucky with the births of two of our daughters. One had her umbilical cord
wrapped around her neck twice and didn't breath on her own for two minutes
after birth. The other had her cord tied in a true knot after
birth. Neither suffered long term consequences of their births but it
scared the shit out of me and I believe caused me to love them even more.

"About two and a half years ago I started looking at a lot of porn
online. I started out looking at bisexual porn, two men and one woman. Then
I added some gay porn. Eventually I was only looking at gay porn.  It got
very hard for me to keep telling myself I am bi. I then started reading gay
stories on the Internet and getting off to them. I was really starting to
feel screwed up. I think I knew that I was gay but couldn't admit it.

"In mid June I started reading a story on Justusboys.com and I really loved
it. I started corresponding with the author about the story and eventually
we started talking about me. I told him a lot about myself going into great
detail about what I had done in some aspects of my life. Especially about
the problems I was having with my wife.

"In mid July I read his latest installment of his story and became very
upset. It brought the rape back for me as if it happened yesterday, not
almost 20 years ago. I told him I couldn't post a comment to his story
because of something I was not ready to talk about; if I did it would open
the flood gates of hell for me. He understood I think, but later that same
day I couldn't sleep and I had to tell someone. I checked and he was online
and I told him part of it but I lied to him about the when and where it
happened. I'm not sure why but I couldn't tell him I had been acquainted
with the guys involved for years in school. I didn't personally know then
all, but I knew who they were.

"I came clean in an email a few days later and told him everything. I felt
like shit about lying to him. I had to tell him everything. I talked to a
few other online friends about it over the next few days. I was slowly
letting it go after holding it inside for so long.

"A few days after finally being able to let it out I was able to admit I am
gay. I'm not sure how much of this I will tell my wife but I need to tell
her some of it. Hopefully she will be able to eventually understand.

Sam told his wife and left, but not before she threw him out saying, "I
hate you; you stupid faggot! Get out!" She tore some of his clothes out of
his closet and threw them out the front door in the pouring rain.  He
stayed for a few more weeks waiting on a transfer with work. Once the
transfer went through he moved out of state to protect his kids from what
he is. He knows how cruel kids can be first hand and doesn't want his kids
to go through that.

I have stayed in contact with him over the few months since he left. He is
slowly getting over everything he has gone through and is getting on with
his life. I hope his story helps some of you with what you are going
through. If it only helps one person, I know Sam will be grateful I have
shared it with you.

Part 3

It's Zack again. I can't believe that poor man had to go through all of
that. Some people are real assholes.

After I finish reading what Jay wrote I asked him, "I thought you were
going for a run? With the amount you wrote there is no way you had time to
do both."

"I was going to but I caught up on what you had written and thought if
Sam's story could help someone with what they are going through and you end
up publishing your book it would be nice to include it."

"Well if it does in fact ever get published and it does help someone it
will be worth it."

Changing the subject Jay asks, "When are your parents going to get here?"

"Mom said they will be leaving Saturday morning, so they should be here in
the afternoon sometime. Did you call the travel agent and get your parent's
tickets yet?"

"Yes. I called them just before you got up. Their flight will land at
Logan, Sunday afternoon. They will be here for eight days. Their return
flight leaves Monday morning. I thought we could have an early birthday
party for Shawn before they leave with them. Then on his birthday we can
have some family time; just the three of us."

"That sounds good to me."

We make breakfast and eat together. After breakfast I head downstairs to my
studio and work on Jay's Christmas present for a while. Over the next few
days I spend a lot of time working on it. When I get it done I take it to
the framer I use and drop it off. He tells me it will be done in time for
Christmas and will call when it is ready to be picked up.

Saturday my parents arrive and we make a big dinner and spend the evening
together. Jay tells us that his family has a tradition of going to Midnight
Mass on Christmas Eve and asks if we can go this year.  My parents and I
agree to go without hesitation wanting the entire family to be
together. When we head to bed later Jay thanks me for agreeing to go.

"Jay, you don't have to thank me. I want us all to be together that's why I
asked for everyone to be here this year. I will go anywhere your parents
and mine want to go. It's not like it's going to be a huge sacrifice to go
to Midnight Mass with you. I love you and your parents. I will do anything
for you and them."

"That's why I love you so much."

"I know and I love you too."

We climb into bed and hold each other until we fall asleep. Shawn wakes me
up around three am crying. I grab my robe and head to his room. He is
standing in his crib crying lightly when I walk in but stops as soon as he
sees me.

I take him down stairs and make him a bottle. My mother comes out of the
guest bedroom and asks if everything is alright. I tell her yes that Shawn
just wanted a bottle. She heads back to bed as I take him back to his
bedroom and put him back to bed. I go back to bed and sleep soundly the
rest of the night.

In the morning once everyone is up Jay makes breakfast for us all and as we
are eating I feed Shawn his.  After eating, my parents want to go do some
shopping before we have to pick up Jay's parents at the airport. So we take
them to the mall. We look around for a while, my parents buying a few
things here or there, nothing special. As we are getting ready to leave and
I realize Jay is gone. We look for him for a few minutes and can't find him
anywhere. I try his phone and it goes to voice mail.

"What the shit." I say out loud, more to myself than to anyone.

Mom hears me and asks, "What's the matter?"

"His phone went right to voice mail. I'll kill him if the damn battery is
dead again. You have no idea how many times I have to remind him to plug
the damn thing in once in a while."

"Calm down Zack," dad says.

"Would you guys keep an eye on Shawn for me? I'm going to have him paged."

They say yes and tell me they will wait right here for me. I find my way to
the security office and have one of the officers on duty page him; telling
him to meet us in front of Sears were my parents are waiting. I head back
to my parents by a different route keeping an eye out for him.

When I get back to Sears my parents are sitting there with Shawn and Jay is
still nowhere to be found. I look at my watch and we really need to be
leaving for the airport soon. I tell my parents I'm going to go looking for
him I'll be right back. I walk back in the direction we came and look into
shops through the doors and display windows. 'How the hell can someone just
disappear?'

After about twenty minutes I start making my way back to my parents and
just as I am walking up to them Jay comes out of Sears carrying a bunch of
bags.

"Where the hell have you been? We should have left fifteen minutes ago to
be to the airport on time. The battery in your phone had better not be dead
again or you will be."

"I'm sorry I was doing a little shopping for someone and lost track of
time."

"Who were you shopping for in there?"

"Who do you think?"

"Jay, damn it, you don't need to pick one of the most expensive stores to
do my shopping. You know I would be happy with something from
Wall-mart. Why did you think you had to do my shopping in there?"

"Who says it was for you?"

"Ok, you want to play games do you? Come on we have to go now."

I put Shawn back into his stroller and we head back to the cars. After
buckling Shawn into his car seat and we are heading towards the airport I
ask Jay for his phone. He hands it to me and I flip it open. As I suspected
the battery is dead.

"When are you going to learn? Jay you are two years older than I am and
sometimes I feel like I am ten years older than you. You can't even
remember to plug your phone in once a week. What am I going to do with
you?"

"Zack, I'm sorry. You're right though. Sometimes I feel like you not only
take care of Shawn but you take care of me too. More than I do you. That's
why I went into Sears and did your Christmas shopping. You deserve more
than Wal-mart or Kmart or any other place like that. Crap, be glad I didn't
go into Bon-Ton like I planned."

"If you would have you would still be at the mall trying to figure out how
you are going to get home with a dead phone as your only means of
transportation."

"You wouldn't have?" He asks shocked.

"Try me."

"Zack, I'm sorry I upset you."

"You don't get it do you? You didn't upset me. You scared the shit out of
me Jay; after what happened in that diner. When I turned around and you
were gone that's all I could think of. Then I called your phone and it went
right to voice mail, I really got scared. If something had happened it
could have easily been broken in a fight. Please tell me when you are going
somewhere and try to remember to plug you fucking phone in. It's not that
hard. Is that too much to ask?"

"Damn you really were scared. I don't remember the last time you swore at
me. I'm sorry. I will never do that again. I promise and I will try to
remember to charge my phone."

Just then my phone rings and it scares the shit out of me. I flip it open
and don't recognize the number.  "Hello?"

"Zack, it's Sarah. We are at the airport and there is nobody here to pick
us up."

"Whose phone are you using?"

"We forgot to charge the cell before we left. I am calling from a pay
phone."

"You have to be kidding me? Oh my God it runs in the family. We are on our
way there. We should be there in about ten or fifteen minutes. You can
thank your son when you see him for us being late. I will let him explain
that when you see him."

"I figured his was dead when I tried calling and it went to voice
mail. That's why I called you. Well we'll see you in about ten minutes
then?"

"Yes you will. See you in a few."

"Goodbye dear.

"Bye mom."

"Now I know where you get it from."

"What?"

"They didn't charge their phone before they left home. They flew all the
way here without having a way to call anyone if something happened and they
were diverted someplace else. I can see them forgetting, they really aren't
used to all these new gadgets. What's your excuse?"

"I said I was sorry for crying out loud."

"You will be sorry tonight. With the layout of the house we can make all
the noise we want and nobody will hear a thing."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yeah; I checked. I turned the stereo in the bedroom up really loud the
other day and closed the doors.  Just outside the master suite I could just
barely hear it. I checked each bedroom upstairs and couldn't hear a
thing. We down stairs and nothing there either. I think the floor and the
walls around the master suite are insulated to dampen sound transfer."

"Well then I can make all the noise I want and your mother won't holler at
us."

"Jay even if they heard us here. They wouldn't say a thing. It's our home,
not theirs. My parents wouldn't even mention it."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes."

"I'm not sure I would feel comfortable doing it with them here though?"

"What? After we woke them up and then kept them awake for almost an hour in
their home? Are you kidding me?"

"You'll just have to wait and find out won't you?"

"It's not going to be fun for you. It's going to be punishment so you never
forget to plug your damn phone in again. I am going to torture you into not
forgetting."

Just then we pull into the short term parking lot of the airport and
park. "Sounds like fun," Jay says as we are getting out of the car.

"What sounds like fun?" dad asks as he gets out of their car.

Embarrassed Jay says, "Nothing. Never mind."

"Marital problems?" mom asks with a shit eating grin on her face almost
like she knows what we were talking about.

"Alright you both can stop now," I tell them.

They both say they are sorry and will stop and I give Jay a look that says
keep it up and you will pay even more tonight. He sees it and mouths I'm
sorry. You will be; I mouth back.

We walk over to the main doors of the terminal and just as we are getting
there Bill and Sarah come walking out. Jay goes to them and gives his
parents both hugs and kisses his mother on the cheek.  After he moves out
of the way I give them both hugs too and ask how their flight went. They
say it was fine and Jay and I ask where their luggage is.

"It's on the cart right inside the door."

"Oh my God; there is no denying Jay is your son. You guys are only going to
be here for a week. You brought enough for a month."

'Well, it's not all clothes. We were going to ship all the Christmas
presents and Shawn's birthday presents but were able to get everything in
our bags."

Jay goes inside and gets the cart and returns to us. We head back to the
cars and put as much of their luggage into the trunk of my parent's car,
the rest we put into mine. Dad and Bill get into the front of my parent's
car and mom and Sarah get into the back. I quickly buckle Shawn into his
car seat and Jay and I get into my car and we head back home.

Jay, dad, and I spend a few minutes taking Bill and Sarah's luggage into
the guest bedroom. Then Jay and I show them around the house. They are
really happy for us and say they love it.

I ask everyone what they would like for dinner and mom says that she and
dad had talked about us going out to eat. She asks if Red Lobster would be
alright. Everyone agrees that it would be great, but Bill and Sarah want to
pay for some of it.

Mom refuses and says, "No arguments about it."

Reluctantly Bill and Sarah agree to let my parents pay for tonight's dinner
but the next time it is their treat. We all pile back into the two cars and
head over to the restaurant for a nice quiet dinner of lobster, crab, four
different kinds of shrimp and steamed vegetables.

When we get home we sit in the living room talking and everyone gets caught
up with what has been going on in each other's lives. Sarah and Bill can't
believe how big Shawn has gotten and spend a lot of time playing with him
while sitting on the love seat. After spending a few minutes with one he
crawls to the other, sits with them and then crawls back to the first. He
is having a ball goofing around with them.

After about an hour or so he has had enough and starts whining. Sarah asks
me what he wants after he won't settle down for her. I tell her I think he
wants down. Sure enough as soon as his little feet hit the floor he stops
whining. He slowly makes his way down the love seat and when he reaches the
end he carefully takes a step towards my chair. He carefully lets go and
tries to reach for the recliner, but can't reach it yet. He takes another
step and then another, and reaches out again. He can finally just touch the
arm of the chair and with his little fingers barely hanging on to it takes
another step.

I look over at Jay and know immediately that he saw what just happened. He
has a huge smile on his face.

"What are the odds of him walking on his own without holding on to anything
with all of you here?" Jay asks.

Mom asks, "Was that really the first time he has done that?"

"Yeah, it was. Those were his first steps without holding on to something,"
I tell them.

I reach down and pick him up and give him a hug. I tell him I am very proud
of him and he smiles up at me. He looks around and notices everyone
watching him and starts giggling. He can be such a ham at times.

We spend the rest of the night watching TV and talking. Around eleven we
all head to bed. As promised I punish Jay for disappearing at the mall and
not charging his phone.

Once I am sure everyone is asleep I slowly and deliberately tease his cock
with my tongue. I refuse to suck it in like I know he wants. I flick my
tongue across its head just enough to tease him. I lightly lick around the
most sensitive parts giving him just enough sensation to drive him mad, but
not enough to get him off. After a few minutes he is rock hard and leaking
pre-cum all over. He is moaning loudly and I can tell he is getting
agitated by the treatment I am giving his cock.

I continue toying with him, bringing him close to orgasm and then stopping,
not even allowing him to touch his own cock. He is getting more and more
agitated by the minute as I carefully bring him closer and closer but
refuse to take him over the edge.

He begs me to let him cum, but I refuse for a little while longer. I toy
with him for a few minutes more, and then say to him, "Promise me you will
make sure your phone is charged."

"I promise. Please make me cum. I can't take it any longer," he moans.

I take his cock in my mouth, deep throat him and purr around his cock. That
is enough to put him over the edge and he shoots his first shot of cum down
my throat. He moans even louder. I slowly move up his cock, he shoots
again. As I reach the end of his cock I slide my tongue back and forth on
the sensitive underside just below the head. He moans again as his next
shot hits the roof of my mouth. I forcibly deep throat him again and he
shoots two more shots down my throat. He is thrashing his head back and
forth from the intensity of the orgasm. He is gasping for breath and
holding on to both side of my head trying to force his cock even further
into my mouth. I work my way back to the head of his dick and lightly milk
the last of his cum from it.

He moans one last time and says, "Oh my God, that was fucking amazing. But
please don't over torture me like that again. I'm not sure I could have
taken another minute of your teasing."

"Well then make sure your damn phone is charged all the time."

He reaches down and gently pulls me up to him and hugs me. "I will try to
remember to plug it in when the battery is getting low. I'm sorry I scared
you."

I give him a kiss and tell him, "I love you."

"I love you, too. Would you please make love to me?" He begs.

I reach into the drawer of the night stand and get the bottle of lube. I
apply an ample amount to my cock and his waiting hole.

"How do you want it?"

He lifts his legs and pulls me down on top of him.

"Just like this."

I slowly make love to him. After about twenty minutes I cum deep in his ass
and collapse on top of his chest. I lay there while I recover from the
orgasm. I give him a very passionate kiss. We tell each other goodnight,
that we love each other and fall asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning Jay and I make breakfast for everyone. When we are done
Jay's mom asks if we know the story behind the Nativity and the correct way
it is to be displayed.

Being raised not really going to church much I tell her some of it but not
all. My parents say they know what they were taught in Sunday school and
that is about it. So she tells us all to have a seat in the living room and
she will teach us the story.

She begins by explaining that, "When Joseph and Mary had been betrothed but
had not yet been married, the angel Gabriel who told her that God had found
favor with her and she would conceive and bear a son. Mary asked, 'How
could this be since I am a virgin?' and the angel told her, 'The spirit of
God has come upon you and you are to bear a son whom you will call Jesus."
She then goes on to explain, "Later, when Joseph found out that Mary was
pregnant, he was hurt and was going to divorce her quietly because he loved
her and didn't want her to suffer from the scandal, in those days when you
were betrothed it was like you were married already and the only way to get
out of it was by divorce.  Joseph was visited in his dream by an angel of
God and the angel told him that the child Mary was carrying was from God
and that she hadn't been with anyone; she was still a virgin, and he should
have no fear to take Mary as his wife and raise the child as his own.

"Shortly before Jesus was due to be born, the Roman Emperor had ordered
that a census of the whole world be taken and so everyone had to return to
the city of their birth to be counted. Since Joseph was of the family of
David, he and Mary had to go to 'The City of David,' Bethlehem. When Joseph
and Mary entered the city there wasn't any room in any of the inns for
them. But after an inn keeper noticed Mary's condition he told them they
could spend the night in his stable. In those days, it was really a cave
that was used to stable the animals so Jesus was really born in a cave.

She then continued, "It was St. Francis of Assisi who gave us the Nativity
Scene that we know and use today. He designed it so that there was an ox,
an ass, and ten sheep in the stable. Does anyone know why?"

My parents and I don't have a clue and tell her as much.

She continues, "In Jewish custom an ox and an ass both cost ten pieces of
silver. A sheep costs one piece. If you add it up you get thirty pieces;
Christ's ransom. Judas wouldn't have had to take the thirty pieces of
silver from the Pharisees, because his ransom had already been paid by God.

"Now as for the placement of the animals; the ox goes on Mary's side
because the ox is the animal used by the priests for sacrifice and Mary is
a descendant of the priestly family of Levi.  The ass goes on the side with
Joseph because it is the animal ridden by the king. Joseph is a descendant
of King David. The sheep are usually placed throughout the stable filling
it in and of course the manger is placed in the middle of the stable.

"In very expensive Nativity scenes there are four shepherds to balance out
the Three Kings and their camel driver. All of which remain on the outside
of the stable.  Some people have followed the Eastern tradition of putting
St Joseph outside the stable as a reminder that he was not fully aware of
God's entire plan in this whole thing."

When she is done telling us the story she gets up and rearranges our
Nativity to match the story she just told us. When everything is in place
she steps back and I can almost see how it would have looked two thousand
years ago when Christ was born.

We spend the next couple of days together making different kinds of
Christmas goodies. Everyone seems to disappear for a while here and there,
but nothing is said. Everyone is getting ready for Christmas.

On Christmas Eve my framer calls and says Jay's present is ready to be
picked up. I ask my dad if he wants to go for a ride and he agrees.

When we get there my dad instantly notices it sitting behind the counter
and asks, "Who is that in the middle?"

"You have to promise me you're not going to say anything to anyone. It was
supposed to be a surprise."

"I promise. Now spill it."

"Jay and I are adopting a baby. He is due in May and that is an ultrasound
picture of him."

Dad grabs me and pulls me into a warm fatherly hug and tells me, "I happy
for you both."

When he lets go I notice a lone tear running down his cheek. "What?"

"When you told your mother and I you were gay it didn't change the way I
felt about you, but I was a little disappointed. Not in you either; that I
would never be a grandfather. And now you have given me two grandsons. I am
so proud of you, Zack. I wish I was half the man you have turned out to
be."

"Dad you are. I couldn't have asked for a more loving and caring father
than you. I love you. You know that don't you?"

"Yes. Oh God yes. And I love you, son."

We are interrupted by a clerk coming to the counter. He recognizes me
instantly and goes and gets my painting off the back counter and sets it
carefully down on the counter in front of us.

"Would you like it boxed, Mr. Miller?"

"Yes, please. I think it will throw Jay and everyone else for a loop if it
is in a box, instead of on an easel next to the tree."

He quickly finds an appropriately sized box and places my painting
inside. Once done he punches a few keys on the computer/register and tells
me the amount. I go to right him a check but dad hands the guy the cash.

"This one is on me."

"Dad, you and mom have done so much for Jay and I. You don't need to pay
this. We can afford it."

"I want to do this for you," he says.

"Ok."

The guy takes the money from dad and hands him his change. I pick up the
box and we head out to my car. I carefully put it in the trunk and we head
back home.

Once there I quickly disappear into my studio to wrap it and dad makes
excuses for me with everyone.

When I am done I set Shawn down for a nap so he won't be crabby for
church. Jay tells everyone that he has checked and found a Catholic church
that has Midnight Mass and that they have Christmas Caroling that starts at
eleven. Everyone thinks that it would be nice to go early for that, not to
mention getting good seats were the whole family could sit together. So we
decide that we need to be ready to leave by ten thirty or so.

We have a nice family dinner together and afterwards everyone relaxes or
disappears to do some last minute wrapping. Everyone is ready to go at ten
fifteen and we head out the door. As Jay knows where we are going I have
him drive and dad follows us. I have to remind Jay a couple of times that
dad is not used to driving in such a big city and he needs to slow down.

We arrive a few minutes early, but someone is already playing Christmas
music on the organ. We let Bill and Sarah decide where they want to sit and
we all file into one pew. After a few minutes the choir starts singing and
those in the congregation join in.

It sounds beautiful and I quickly get drawn in and start singing too. About
twenty minutes later a gentlemen enters the pew in front of us and asks
quietly if he can talk to me. I am taken aback, but hesitantly agree. I
follow him back to a small room off the entryway of the church.

He introduces himself as the choir director and says, "I couldn't help but
hear you sing even from the choir loft. I have something to ask you, mister
????."

"Zack Miller," I tell him.

"Mr. Miller would you sing with the choir tonight?" he asks.

"First, it's Zack. Second, I'm not catholic. My husband and his family
are. My parents and I are here with them."

"That's fine. It doesn't matter to me. But I am in a pickle. My soloist is
sick and can't make it tonight. We had planned on him singing a couple of
songs by himself, but after he called I was going to have to tell Father
Bob there was a change in plans and we would have to do without them. Then
I heard you singing and thought, oh my God, there is an angel here
tonight. Would you consider singing with us, please?"

"What songs was he going to sing?" I ask.

"Let There be Peace on Earth", "Oh Holy Night", and "Silent Night"; we have
the music sheets for them if you need them."

"Ok. I'll do it. Just let me go tell my family."

"Not a problem."

We head back into the church and he tells me he will wait for me here. The
church has filled in more and it takes me a few minutes to get back to Jay
and our parents. I quickly explain what is going on and I will see him
after the service. I give him a quick kiss and make my way back to the back
of the church against the flow of more people coming in.

I finally make my way to the choir director and he shows me to the stairs
that take us up to the choir loft.  During a short break he introduces me
to the choir and explains that I will be filling in for the sick soloist.

He shows me to my place and explains that the sheet music has been laid out
in the order that we will be singing each song. He flips through it and
finds the next song to be song. He tells me to be careful of what I say
when we are not singing because my microphone will be on for the entire
mass but the others will be off when I am singing my solos.

When he is done he takes his place and everyone gets ready to sing the next
song. It's an easy one for me because I have sung it many times, "O Little
town of Bethlehem".

When Jim gives the signal to start I start singing as best as I can. With
the amplifying effect of the microphone and speakers the only thing I can
hear is my own voice reverberating back to me off the walls. Sometimes my
own voice still amazes me. I have trouble believing that I can make such
wonderful music with my voice.

After a few minutes of singing some of the congregation have turned and are
looking up watching me. I feel a little embarrassed but continue
singing. We sing a few more songs then it is time for the mass to start.
The choir is quiet and all of the church lights are turned off, except for
the small lamps we have on our music stands and the lights coming from the
organ.  The organist begins to play the introduction to "O Holy Night" and
Jim gives me the signal to start singing my first solo.

"O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining; It is the night of the dear
Savior's birth.  Long lay the world in sin and error pining.  Till He
appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.  A thrill of hope the weary world
rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.  Fall on your knees!
Oh, hear the angel voices!  O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night, O night divine!  O night, O Holy Night, O night
divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming, With glowing hearts by His
cradle we stand.  O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming, Now come the
Wiseman from out of the Orient land.  The King of kings lay thus lowly
manger; In all our trials born to be our friends.  He knows our need, our
weakness is no stranger, Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!  Behold
your King! Before him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is
peace.  Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.  And in his
name all oppression shall cease.  Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus
raise we, With all our hearts we praise His holy name.  Christ is the Lord!
Then ever, ever praise we, His power and glory ever more proclaim!  His
power and glory ever more proclaim!"

While I'm singing this, a candlelight procession starts coming up the main
aisle of the church, lead first by an altar boy carrying incense followed
by the Cross and two candle bearers.  After them come 20 children dressed
in white robes carrying candles walking in two rows.  After the 20 children
there is one young girl dressed in blue and white and she is carrying a
pillow on which the baby Jesus is resting.  Following the girl, the deacon
is carrying the Gospel Book and following him is the priest, Father Bob.
As the procession reaches the front of the church, the children form two
lines across the front of the sanctuary, the deacon takes the Gospel Book
and puts it on the altar and the girl and Father Bob stop in front of the
altar where the Nativity Scene has been set up.

When I finish singing "O Holy Night"; Father Bob starts the proclamation of
Christmas that tells the history of the Nativity....

"The Proclamation of the Birth of Christ

The twenty-fifth day of December.  In the five thousand one hundred and
ninety-ninth year of the creation of the world from the time when God in
the beginning created the heavens and the earth; the two thousand nine
hundred and fifty-seventh year after the flood; the two thousand and
fifteenth year from the birth of Abraham; the one thousand five hundred and
tenth year from Moses and the going forth of the people of Israel from
Egypt; the one thousand and thirty-second year from David's being anointed
king; in the sixty-fifth week according to the prophecy of Daniel; in the
one hundred and ninety-fourth Olympiad; the seven hundred and fifty-second
year from the foundation of the city of Rome; the forty second year of the
reign of Octavian Augustus; the whole world being at peace, in the sixth
age of the world, Jesus Christ the eternal God and Son of the eternal
Father, desiring to sanctify the world by his most merciful coming, being
conceived by the Holy Spirit, and nine months having passed since his
conception, was born in Bethlehem of Judea of the Virgin Mary, being made
flesh.  The Nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ according to the flesh."

He then continued, as the young girl placed the statue of the baby into the
Nativity scene:

"God of every nation and people, from the very beginning of creation you
have made manifest your love:
 when our need for a Savior was great you sent your Son to be born of the
Virgin Mary.  To our lived he brings joy and peace, justice, mercy and
love.

"Lord, bless all who look upon this manger; may it remind us of the humble
birth of Jesus, and raise up our thoughts to him, who is God-with-us and
Savior of all, and who lives and reigns forever and ever."

The congregation all responded, "Amen." and the organ began to play the
introduction to "Silent Night" while Fr Bob entered the altar and began
incensing of the altar and the crèche.  Jim gave me my cue and I started
singing,

"Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright Round yon Virgin
Mother and Child Holy Infant so tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!  Shepherds quake at the sight Glories stream from
heaven afar Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!  Christ, the Savior is born
Christ, the Savior is born

Silent night, holy night Son of God, love's pure light Radiant beams from
Thy holy face With the dawn of redeeming grace Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth."

The rest of the mass continued on and I joined in singing, as best as I
could, with all the responses that the choir sang.  But after the Our
Father, Fr Bob introduced the Sign of Peace is it was my turn to do my last
solo.  Fr Bob said, "The Lord be with you." and the congregation responded,
"And also with you."  Then the deacon said, "Let us all show each other a
sign of peace and Christmas greeting."  Everyone in the church turned and
started to shake hands with each other and Jim, the choir director,
signaled me to start.

"Let there be peace on earth And let it begin with me.  Let there be peace
on earth The peace that was meant to be.  With God as our father Brothers
all are we.  Let me walk with my brother In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me Let this be the moment now.  With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow.  To take each moment And live each moment With
peace eternally.  Let there be peace on earth, And let it begin with me.

Let there be peace on earth And let it begin with me.  Let there be peace
on earth The peace that was meant to be.  With god as our father Brothers
all are we.  Let me walk with my brother In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me Let this be the moment now.  With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow.  To take each moment And live each moment In
peace eternally.  Let there be peace on earth And let it begin with me."

When the mass was over Father Bob thanks everyone for coming and wishes
everyone a Merry Christmas. Then he looks up into the choir loft directly
at me and says, "I would personally like to take a moment and thank Zack
Miller for filling in for us tonight as our soloist. His voice is heavenly
and a Godsend. Thank you."

Everyone in the church turns and looks up at me. Then to my utter amazement
they stand and start clapping. They give me a standing ovation that goes on
and on. As it is starting to die down I can hear people yelling for an
encore. I look over at Jim and he just nods his head. So I ask the pianist
if she knows "Do You Hear What I Hear". She says she does and starts
playing, and I sing,

Said the night wind to the little lamb, "Do you see what I see?  Way up in
the sky, little lamb, Do you see what I see?  A star, a star, dancing in
the night With a tail as big as a kite, With a tail as big as a kite."

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy, "Do you hear what I hear?
Ringing through the sky shepherd boy, Do you hear what I hear?  A song, a
song, high above the trees With a voice as big as the sea, With a voice as
big as the sea."

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king, "Do you know what I know?  In
your palace warm, mighty king, Do you know what I know?  A Child, a Child,
shivers in the cold; Let us bring him silver and gold, Let us bring him
silver and gold."

Said the king to the people everywhere, "Listen to what I say!  Pray for
peace, people everywhere, Listen to what I say!  The Child, the Child,
sleeping in the night, He will bring us goodness and light, He will bring
us goodness and light."  "Bring us Light!"

When I am done I get another standing ovation. I thank them and make my way
down the stairs and find Jay and our families. We get our coats on and make
sure we have everything. After getting Shawn's jacket on him he whines and
holds his arms out to me. I take him from my dad who has been holding
him. As soon as he is in my arms he lays his little head on my shoulder and
snuggles into me trying to go to sleep.

We slowly follow the crowd out the front doors of the church were we meet
Father Bob. He thanks me again for filling in and says he hopes to see us
again; and not just at Christmas. He shakes each of our hands as we file by
and wish him a Merry Christmas. He returns the sentiment. We finally make
it to our cars and head home. It's almost one thirty.

When we get home I quickly get Shawn into his pajamas and get him into
bed. He never even wakes up while I am getting him ready for bed. When I am
done I go to Jay's and my bedroom and get all of Shawn's and Jay's presents
and take them down to the living room and place them under the tree.

It seems everyone was very busy while I was upstairs; there are presents
everywhere. I actually have trouble even getting close to the
tree. Everyone tells each other good night, we give each other hugs and
kisses, tell each other Merry Christmas, and head to bed.

In the morning once everyone is up a little early for my liking, we open
presents. I keep Jay's painting off to the side for last. King plays with
the discarded wrapping paper pushing it around the floor with his
nose. When we are done Sarah says, "Well it looks like we are just about
done except for that big one off to the side."

"Yeah, I know. That's Jay's, but he can't open it until you guys open
these," I say as I pull the Christmas cards I made out of a pocket in the
side of my chair. I give one to my mom and the other to Sarah. They open
them and read them. I can see their expressions change as they read the
inside. Within seconds both of our mothers are jumping up from their seats
and hugging Jay and me.

Bill confused about what is going on asks, "What? What is it?"

Finally Sarah hands him the card and he reads it. "Oh my God, another baby?
How? When?"

I explain to them about Diane and that she asked us to adopt her
baby. Everyone is very happy for us and there are more hugs for us.

I then give Jay his last present. He opens it and as he is looking at it I
notice tears streaming down his face.

"What?" I ask him.

"It's beautiful," he says. "I love it. Thank you."

I get up from my chair and go to him. He stands the painting up next to his
chair and pulls me down on his lap. We sit there hugging each other lost in
our love until Shawn squeals from the floor where he has been sitting
playing with a couple of his new toys. Everyone laughs. I get up and get a
garbage bag for the wrapping paper and mom and Sarah go to make breakfast
for us all.

Jay and I clean up the mess. Jay has to fight some of the paper away from
King. I think he actually ate some of it. We spend the day celebrating this
very holy day and thinking about those that can't be with their families
today.

Over the next few days we all spend a lot of time together. Diane even
comes over so our parents can meet her. I think they fall in love with her
as soon as they all meet. Mom and Sarah tell her what she can expect with
the pregnancy. Maybe a little too much, because I can tell at times she
feels a little uncomfortable and nervous.

On Sunday night we have a first birthday party for Shawn before everyone
heads home. I give him a piece of his birthday cake on a small paper plate
and using his hands he tries to feed it to himself. By the time it is all
gone he is wearing more than he actually ate. His whole face is covered in
chocolate. He has frosting in his hair and cake crumbs all over the place.

I carefully remove him from his highchair and take him upstairs and give
him a bath. Once he is cleaned up I head back downstairs and he opens his
presents with Jays help. I think both of our parents went overboard a
little bit. But for now he is the only grandchild on either side.

Monday morning my parents return home and in the afternoon Jay takes his
parents to the airport. It was an amazing week. We love each other's
parents as much as we love our own. I am happy that we could all be
together for Shawn's first Christmas.


Author's note: I would like to thank my editor George for his help. He has
been a great help with the typos and other minor mistakes I have
made. Thank you.

As you 'walk with your brothers in perfect harmony' this Christmas please
take a few minutes to remember those in the military that can't be with
their loved ones this year. They are protecting every one of us to keep
this world safe and secure. Say a prayer for them that they are home safe
and sound soon. That is my only Christmas wish this year.

Kevin