Date: Sat, 2 Apr 2016 08:45:44 +0000 (UTC)
From: Robert Furlong <robert.furlong@rocketmail.com>
Subject: Air BNB

AIR BNB
by Robert Furlong

===

robert.furlong@rocketmail.com
robertfurlong.tumblr.com

===

"So first thing next day I knocked on their bedroom door to say good
mornin' and one of them called out, tellin' me to come in."

"This was one of the gay blokes who owned the house?" Brian asked.

"Yeah.  I think I was the only one rentin' a room that night."

He nodded and I went on.

"I walked into their bedroom and there the two of them were – the older
dude and the younger lad I'd met the night before.  Both of them were in
the stark nuddies and they were sittin' side-by-side with their hands goin'
at it on their dicks."

"Fuck off!" Brian laughed.  "That so did not happen!"

"I swear to god it did," I laughed back.  "They were sittin' up in bed
together, their legs wide open so you could see their arse-cracks, and
their hands were slidin' up and down their poles right in front of me!"

"What, the two blokes who owned the house were wankin' off?"

"Plain as day!  Both sittin' back against the headboard, jerkin' their
porked-up pricks off and just sort of grinning over at me!"

"Like they wanted you to see them?" he asked, still chuckling.

"Exactly!  Like they were proud that's how they start their mornings.  With
their arses plonked down next to each other and their hands sliding up and
down their two massive dongers!"

"Doin' each other, or doin' themselves?"

"Doin' themselves.  One of them had his arm around the other, his hand on
his mate's shoulder, but both of their hands were on their own big
chubbed-up cocks."

Brian laughed again and then took a swig from his lager.

"Have you noticed how gay fellas always have the biggest knobs?" he asked
after he'd swallowed his mouthful.

"Not really, why would they?"

"You know... the way they shag each other's arses."

"Why would that make their cocks grow big?"

"Maybe it acts like fertiliser or something," he shrugged.  "There was a
gay lifeguard at this hotel me and Sharon stayed in once.  You could see
through his shorts he was built like a fuckin' county show donkey."

"Well this pair both had cocks as long and thick as their forearms.  They
could hardly get their hands around them as they wanked the fuckin' massive
things off right in front of me!"

"So what did they say?" Brian asked, still chuckling.  "Were they like
apologetic that they was whackin' their two pricks off in front of their
houseguest?"

"Were they fuck!  The older one - Paul I think his name was - was all like,
'We'll sort you out with some breakfast, Dave.  Once we've finished
masturbating!'"

Brian guffawed, spitting some of the drink he'd been slurping right across
the table.  "These gay types sure know how to tart a wank up so it sounds
proper posh!"

"I know... that's what I thought!  Anyway, I was like, 'Don't mind me,
gents.  You just masturbate to your hearts' content!'"

Brian laughed even louder.  I knew he'd love this story.  Even while I'd
been watching the two gay dudes wanking off, I'd known Brian would just
about laugh himself silly hearing how I'd walked in on my gay hosts having
a good pull together.

"So what did you do then?" he asked.  "Did you leave them to it?"

"I was gonna, but then they younger one - Charles or whatever - called over
to me, with his hand slappin' up and down his big prong dead fast, 'You
don't have issues with us doing this, do you, Dave?  Masturbating together
as two male lovers...'"

"Oh fuck!  'Two male lovers'... how did ya keep a straight face?"

"So I says, 'It's your house, mate... I'm only here for a cheap stopover on
the Air BNB.  Ya can do what ya like in yer own bed, fellas...'"

Brian nodded, risking another mouthful of his drink.

"And then he's like, 'It doesn't offend you, does it?  Homosexual activity,
I mean...?'

"I said back, 'It's hardly homosexual, is it?  Me and brother used to wank
off together when we was in our teens and neither of us can even spell
homosexual never mind do it!'"

Brian chortled again but avoided spraying me with lager for a second time.

"Is that what they looked like?" he asked, after wiping off his mouth.
"Just two blokes wankin' off?"

"Naah, they were a bit more touchy-feely than that.  They were more into
each other, if you know what I mean..."

Brian nodded but I could see he didn't really get it.

"And their arseholes... oh yeah!  I forgot to tell you what their fuckin'
arseholes looked like!"

"You could see them?" he asked.

"Yeah... I told you, they had their legs wide open.  That was part of the
touchy-feely thing.  Where their legs were touchin', they were sorta twined
around each other the way two straight fellas would keep right apart..."

"So what was it about their arseholes?"

"Well, their big pairs of knackers were bobbin' around as they wanked their
dicks off, and underneath those you could see their two dark purple
ringpieces pokin' out from their hairy arse-cracks."

"And what did they look like?" he kept on, his face dead keen to hear what
the gays were hiding down the backs of their trousers.

"Fuckin' massive!" I grinned and Brian beamed at me, his eyes gawping wide.

"Could ya tell they fucked each other up them?" he asked.

"'Course ya fuckin' could," I chuckled back.  "They were all puffy and
swollen and stretched from havin' to take each other's tree-trunk cocks."

"Aw Jesus!  I've always wondered about that!" Brian marvelled, staring
intently at me.  "I've always wanted to know if gay fellas have big
fanny-sized arseholes!"

"Well they do," I told him, "or at least this pair did have.  Their
arseholes were bigger than twats 'cause of how their knobs were so fuckin'
thick and their bell-ends were so massive."

"'Cause of all the fertiliser," Brian nodded knowledgably.

"Or just 'cause of how much action their cocks must see, with them both
bein' two horny-as-fuck men!"

"Oh yeah, I never thought o' that!" he said.  "They must be at it all the
time like rabbits, neither of them ever sayin' 'no'!"

I chuckled.  "You can see the appeal, when ya put it like that!"

"Lucky bastards!" he laughed back.

"Anyway, then the older one says, all posh like, 'We were refraining from
expressing our love in a way that you might find offensive...'

"And I'm like, 'I'm from Doncaster, mate - I've seen a lot worse than
this!'

"So he leans over and - I'm not kiddin' you, Bry - put his whole mouth
right over the other fella's prick."

"He so fuckin' didn't!"

"He fuckin' did - I'm not makin' this up!"

"What, he started suckin' the other bloke's cock right in front of you?"

"Fuckin' chowed down on it, he did.  I was like, 'Whoa!  Me girlfriend
never does it like that on mine!'  And he just went for it, takin' the
whole fuckin' length of his mate's big chopper down his throat, slurpin'
his mouth up and down it, like it was the best lolly he'd ever tasted!"

"Oh fuck!" Brian chortled, "I'd have loved to see that!  I bet it was
fuckin' wild!"

"It was!" I laughed back.  "I mean, not 'cause it were two blokes or
anything like that..."

"'Course not!"

"Just... you know... seein' a quality blow-job up close..."

"Absolutely!" he nodded.  "I love to see a bit of high-class dick suckin'
whoever's doin' it!"

"So I was stood there, still in me boxers like, watchin' him guzzle this
massive fuckin' boner like a pro, thinkin', 'Don't get a fuckin' hard-on,
Dave.  Any other time, but not right now!'"

Brian laughed.  "No way, mate... he'd have been on ya like a fuckin'
headlouse!"

"Anyway, so I'm just stood there ogglin' at them, and the younger lad who's
havin' his dick sucked says, cool as a cucumber, 'Is our male intimacy very
different from heterosexual oral sex?'

"And I say, 'Quite a bit, yeah... for a start he seems to be enjoyin' doin'
it to you...'

"And he says back - totally cazh, like we were sitting having cocktails or
something - 'Do you admire my lover's technique?'

"So I joke with him, 'It's a lot different from how I do it, when I'm doin'
it to me girlfriend..."

Brian smiled, his face captivated by my story.  He seemed to have forgotten
about the drink sitting losing its fizz in front of him.

"Then the older one pulls his mouth off his cock and says, 'Maybe this is
more like how you do it, Dave,' and cranes his neck right down so his face
is pushed between lover-boy's legs..."

"What did he do?  Lick the other bloke's bollocks?" Brian asked me, his
eyes locked on mine with interest.

"No, he went a bit lower than that..."

He thought about it and after about two seconds shrugged, "I don't get
it..."

"He did what gays must do to each other as their own way of lickin' out a
pussy..."

He thought for another few seconds.  "I still don't get it, Dave.  Help me
out here, mate... I'm not up on all this gay shit like what you are..."

I chuckled at his dig and said, "He licked his fella's arsehole, Bry.  He
ran his tongue around it like it was a minge!"

"You have gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me," he said, looking genuinely shocked.

"God's honour, mate," I nodded, chuckling at his surprise.  "The older
fella licked round the younger lad's dirtbox!"

Brian kept staring at me and for a few moments I wondered if maybe I
shouldn't have told him this part.  But then he asked, still wide-eyed and
looking gormless, "So what did you do then, Dave?"

"I just watched them doing it... the older guy lapping at his boyfriend's
dick-loosened arsehole... the younger guy wanking his fat dick off again,
just pleasantly smilin' over at me like we was havin' drinks and nibbles."

"At least that took care of the stiffie you was worried about gettin',"
Brian said, managing a grin.  "Seein' one bloke lickin' another fella's
chuff could wither a fuckin' flag-pole!"

"I dunno... it was kinda hot in a weird sorta way," I admitted.  "I reckon
I was gettin' half chubbed-up just from how... you know... different it was
from anythin' I'd ever seen before..."

Brian laughed at that, just like I thought he would.  "You reckon you might
give Colleen's brown-eye a little once-over with yer tongue, then?"

"No fuckin' way!" I laughed back.  "I just thought it might feel nice
havin' someone lickin' round my baster."

Brian grinned at me.  "Dream on, mate.  There's no way anyone would stick
their tongue up a lard-arse like yours!"

I smiled back at him.  "Yeah... I guess you're right."

"Come on, then... what happened next?"

"Okay, so the young lad - Charles I think his name was - says, 'I'm really
pleased you're not offended, Dave.  The anal side of our lovemaking is very
important to us.'"

"The anal side of their lovemaking?  That's butt-fucking in plain English,
isn't it?"

"I think it's anything involvin' the arsehole, Bry.  Lickin' it, fingerin'
it... bummin' it with yer knob..."

"One visit to that house and you're like a fuckin' oracle of gay sex info,
mate," he chortled.  "You should write one o' those sex guides about how
fellas do it with each other!"

I ignored the piss-take.  "So I says, 'I'm pretty open-minded, me.  What
you gay blokes get up to with each other's backdoors is yer own business.'

"Then he says back, 'Do you enjoy an anal component to your own lovemaking,
Dave?  If you don't mind the question...'

"And I shrug and say, 'I don't really go in for that meself, to be honest.
When ya girlfriend's got a letterbox round the front, the postman doesn't
need to go round the back that often..."

"Then Paul or whatever he was called pulls off from eatin' laddo's arse and
says, 'Well, as two men we have two postmen, Dave.  And they both make all
of their deliveries round the back!'"

"Oh Jesus!" Brian laughed.  "He's on about shaggin' each other's arses!"

I nodded – I'd known full well what he'd been on about – and went on,
"So then he says, 'Would you mind very much if our postmen made their
deliveries before we treat you to breakfast?'

"And I say back, 'Do whatever you like, mate!  I didn't even know breakfast
was included.'"

Brian looked at me in disbelief.  "You're not gonna tell me they did gay
bum sex and you just stood there and watched them...?"

I smirked back.  "I suppose I could've walked out... but they didn't seem
to mind havin' an audience, so I reckoned it would be kinda interesting to
see what they would do."

"So what did they do?" he asked.

"They messed around a bit first... sorta wrestled with each other and
played swordfights with those fuckin' big gayed-up cocks of theirs.  All
the time they were smilin' over at me, lovin' the fact I was stood watchin'
them playin' around in the nuddie."

"And did they end up bummin' each other for proper?"

"The younger one got pinned down on his front by the older bloke," I
nodded, "sorta bent over so his arse was stickin' up."

"What did the older one do then?" Brian grinned, his face expectant.

"What d'ya think he did?" I laughed.  "He pushed his fat bell-end right in
between lover boy's bum-cheeks and then slid his thick cock all the way up
his dumpster."

"And what did the younger one do?  Did he like havin' his shitter shagged?"

"Like it?" I kept laughing.  "He fuckin' loved it!  He pushed himself up on
all-fours and the older one grabbed him by the hips.  Then they butt-fucked
together fast as a train on full-crank with the younger one shoutin' 'Aw
yeah!  Fuck me harder!'"

"And you was stood there, tryin' not to chuck yer guts up?"

"Naah, I was stood there, tryin' to hide my hard-on."

Brian really howled at that.  "Aw, don't tell me you grew a fuckin' woodie
watchin' two blokes doin' it up the fudger!"

"I kinda did, yeah," I told him, smirking sheepishly.  "Seein' his massive
cock gettin' shoved up the other fella's slurpy mucker... I dunno why but
it looked pretty hot!"

"You dirty git!" he laughed.  "So did you stand there watchin' them doin'
gay bummin'... all the way to the spunk-off?"

"Two spunk-offs," I corrected him.  "First the older guy nutted his juice
with that Charles lad thumpin' his bum back dead hard against him, then the
two of them swapped places and the younger lad sowed his own oats up his
boyfriend's big hairy trench!"

"Oh fuck!" Brian laughed.  "No wonder they have such big cunts for
arseholes!"

He looked at his lager and, as if remembering it was there and only
half-drunk, picked it up and took a long, deep swig.

Then after he'd chucked out a noisy belch and put the glass back down, he
said, "So did they give you breakfast?"

"Oh yeah," I grinned.  "It turned out well nice, actually.  They both put a
lot of effort into... er... servin' it up."

After the young lad had jizzed off up his fella's back-passage, they'd told
me they were now ready to sort me out.  I'd known from their faces and the
fact that the older one's knob was rock hard again that it wasn't bacon and
eggs I was going to be getting from the pair of them.

They'd come over to where I was standing and I'd given them the thumbs-up
to show them I was up for having a bit of fun.  I was hoping for a wank-off
or a blow-job, maybe have one of them lick my bollocks, but if they'd tried
to bend me over to shove one of their massive gay cocks up my tiny tush, I
promise you things would have got nasty very quickly.

But they didn't try anything like that - I'd mentioned my girlfriend enough
times for them to figure out how far I'd go.  They'd pulled my skanky
boxers down and my short stubby prick had sprung upwards.  Then they'd
smiled at me and I'd just stood there to let them do their thing.

The older one knelt down in front of me with his mouth working its magic up
and down my veiny chub, while the younger one went round the back of me to
crouch down and feast between my cheeks like he loved other fellas'
arse-stink.

It was fucking awesome if I'm honest, but I wasn't going to tell Brian
that.  Our friendship has its limits and I figured I'd already gone too far
admitting I'd had a boner watching those two horny fuckers roughly doing
each other right there on their bed in front of where I was standing.

I'd cum down Paul's throat - if that was his name - with his boyfriend's
tongue lapping in and out of my hot slimy pucker.  I don't know which I
liked most out of the blowjob or the arsejob.  The feel of the young guy's
morning stubble snagging against my flabby cheeks certainly helped my cock
start spewing into the eager mouth that was wrapped around it.

And when all said and done, where was the harm in it?  It was just a bit of
fun when you think about it!  Colleen really hates the taste of my knob and
- let's face it - there's no way that any girl on Earth was going to put
her nose and mouth anywhere near a whiffy back-crack like mine.  So I
reckon it was fair game to let these two posh bum-boys give me a little
sniffter of how nice it felt to get worked over front and back.

"So how'd it work with the payment?" Brian asked after downing the last of
his pint.  "Did you have to pay them through the Air BNB website?"

"No, you pay the host directly.  But they didn't ask for any money so I
didn't offer."

"What, you got to stay over for free?" he gawked.

"Yeah, and I had the invoice from the website so I got my expenses back
from work."

"You jammy fucker!" he grinned.  "You got it both ways!"

"And very nice it was too, mate," I smirked back at him.

===

robert.furlong@rocketmail.com
robertfurlong.tumblr.com

===