Date: Tue, 17 Jan 2006 13:06:43 -0800 (PST)
From: Sebastian Wallace <sebastian_wallace@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Dr Wallace's Casebook 1

DR WALLACE'S CASEBOOK 1
by Sebastian Wallace

===

sebastian_wallace@yahoo.co.uk

===

THE EXHIBITIONIST

A few years ago, a guy came to my surgery and the first thing he said,
almost before he'd closed the door, was, "I want you to refer me to see a
psychiatrist."

I guess I just stared at him, taken aback by his abruptness, as he perched
himself down in a chair and went on, "You can do that, can't you?  I mean,
GPs can refer people to psychiatrists, can't they?"

I nodded, taking stock of him.  He looked quite young for his age -- I
could see that he was in his mid-thirties from his details on the screen
next to me -- and had an athletic stature.  He seemed very tense, and I put
that down to the fact he'd probably been building up to coming to see me
like this for some time, but he wasn't displaying any obvious signs of
mental illness.

I said, "I can refer you to a psychiatrist -- of course -- but you'd have
to tell me what it's about... I'd need to know that that was the best
option for you..."

He nodded.  "Yeah.  I expected having to tell you a few details...
but... well... I'm married with a couple of kids... what I say would be
absolutely confidential, wouldn't it?"

I nodded back, lowering my eyes sagaciously.  "Of course."

Confidentiality is my middle name.

He said, looking at my desk, the wall behind me and anywhere except my
face, "Well... the fact is... I kind of... enjoy having other people
looking at my body..."

Then he momentarily looked at me directly, as though curious as to my
reaction, and I noticed he was blushing a little.

"That's not so unusual," I said calmly and in a tone I hoped he'd find
reassuring.  "I imagine most men enjoy having other people admiring their
bodies from time to time..."

"Their naked bodies?" he asked.

"Everyone likes to think other people find them attractive, clothed or
naked."

He nodded.  "It's not like I invite it... I mean, it's usually
accidental... especially when --"

"We're talking here -- I'm surmising -- about the fact you enjoy
deliberately exposing your genitals?" I interrupted, and he nodded,
blushing more conspicuously.

With a small cough, he muttered, "It started a few years ago."  Then he
paused, perhaps unsure of how much he wanted to tell me.  He must have
assumed that merely telling me he enjoyed exposing himself would be enough
to convince me to refer him elsewhere.  "Five maybe.  Five or
six... something like that..."  He tailed off.

I asked, "What happened?"  Clearly he was going to need a bit of
encouragement.

He looked back up at me.  He seemed extremely uncomfortable and his
forehead was sweating a little.

"I teach maths -- I don't know if it says that on your screen -- and
sometimes I run an after-school football club."

I nodded.

"Well, there was this day when, the lads were getting showered and stuff in
the changing room, and I was changing in the teachers' office which is next
door, and..."

He tailed off, blushing again, and barked out, "I don't want to take up
your time.  If you think you can't refer me..."

"I'll just need more details."

"But it's a long story and we've only got like ten minutes or so, haven't
we?"

I smiled.  "You're my last appointment and they don't lock up until after
seven... you can take your time."

He took a deep breath, obviously wondering whether he'd made the right
choice in coming to see me.  After a good few seconds, he went on, "Okay.
Well, while I was undressing, there was this fight -- just a scuffle,
really -- and I had to run into the room to break them up."

He looked at me again, clearly expecting a shocked response from me, and I
shrugged and nodded to show him that I thought what he had just said was
eminently reasonable.

"Well I was naked.  Or I had my vest on, maybe.  I don't remember.  What
I'm saying is that my knob was on show..."

He looked quizzically at me again.  Again, I just nodded, muttering, "I
seem to remember seeing a few teachers' in the nude when I was at school at
various times.  I don't suppose the lads were too shocked... how old were
they, by the way?"

"Fifteen or sixteen."  And then, slightly defensively, "We're not talking
about little kids."

"So seeing an older guy's penis wouldn't exactly have been a revelation for
them..."  I smiled, hoping to lighten his discomfort.

"That's not the point," he went on.  "The point is that... well... once the
fight had been broken up -- like I say, it was only horseplay, really --
and I'd told them all off for messing around, I noticed them looking over
at my cock."

When he realised he'd said 'cock' he was apologetic -- as if it was the
sort of word that would shock a sweet and innocent GP -- but I smiled and
gestured for him to continue.

"They really stared at it.  And I suppose that's what started it off..."

"Why would that have started it off?" I asked.  "Boys are naturally curious
about adults' genitals..."

"Yeah, I know.  But... well... I guess -- without sounding too, you know,
immodest -- " He paused to throw me a small, rather impish, smirk.  "I'm
kind of well-built down there."

I grinned.  "They'd never seen one like it?"

"Probably not.  I haven't much experience of other guys' dicks, but I seem
to be about twice the size of the most of the ones I happen to have seen.
You know... in the showers and stuff."

I was quite intrigued by this.  "We're talking about your size limp, are
we?"

He laughed.  "Yeah!  I sure as hell didn't have a hard-on in front of the
football class!"

I nodded.  "Okay.  So they stared over at sir's dick... then what?"

"Well I guess I liked it."

"Liked the attention?"

He considered that for a second and then shook his head.  "No... I think it
was more than that.  I think it was kind of superiority thing.  I can't
explain it very well..."

"'Superiority?'  Because your dick was bigger than theirs?"

He shrugged.  "I dunno exactly.  I suppose I noticed how much bigger mine
was compared with theirs.  Yeah... I kind of liked the way that, for all
their macho acting and posturing, my big dick put their tiny ones to
shame... but I think it was more than that..."

I nodded.

He went on, "I guess I'm thinking that I liked the fact I was impressing
them.  That they were seeing me in a new light, kind of."

I nodded.  "Not just as their maths teacher but as someone with a sexual
dimension?"

"And their obvious interest in that... and maybe their envy of it."

"So what happened then?  After you noticed them staring at you?"

"I pretended I hadn't noticed and went back to the teachers' changing
room."

"Did you develop an erection?"

He seemed taken aback by my frankness.

"After what you've just said, it would seem natural that you would," I
added.

He thought carefully about his response.

"Actually, I don't think I did.  Not immediately. But a few days later one
of the lads made a joke in class about it.  We were running through a maths
problem -- kind of like, 'My shadow is four metres long when the sun is
sixty degrees in the sky.  How long am I?', and one joker said, "About nine
inches, sir, or so I've heard."

I couldn't help but laugh.

He chuckled too, but his eyes betrayed some of the consternation he'd felt
about having that said to him as a teacher.  "The class went nuts.
Obviously everyone knew about the size of my cock and had been talking
about it."

I nodded.  "So what did you do?"

"I suppose I must have blushed, because someone else said, 'I wouldn't be
embarrassed about it, sir, if I were you.  I'd be proud of it.'  Which
caused even more laughter."

He continued, "I calmed them down and they got on with some work.  But I
couldn't help notice one or two of them glance at my crotch when they
thought I wasn't looking, and realised how fascinated by my cock they
were."

"And you developed an erection?"

He nodded.  "Gradually, yeah.  I wouldn't have expected myself to, but I
did."

"Why wouldn't you have expected yourself to?"

He laughed.  "Would you have?  Having a class full of lads in front of you,
knowing they were thinking about your dick and maybe wishing they had one
like it... would you have thought that would turn you on?"

I shrugged.  "I don't know.  But their interest and envy must have been
quite appealing to you, and I would imagine that could easily manifest
itself sexually..."

He didn't reply to that; he seemed to consider it and nodded slowly.

"So how did you conceal your erection?" I asked.

He dismissed that with a grin and a small wave of his hand.  "You learn a
few tricks over the years, you know..."

"Actually I don't.  I wish I did."

He chuckled.  "There are ways of positioning it so that it doesn't show.
Pretend you're fishing for something in your pocket and push it beneath the
waistband of your briefs.  That kind of thing."

I smiled.  "Okay.  So you managed to conceal it... what happened after
that?  Did you masturbate about it afterward?"

Again he seemed a little surprised that I was being so direct with him.

"I dunno... maybe.  But not right away or anything.  Maybe a few days
later."

"Did it feel wrong to do that?"

He shook his head.  "Not really.  I've always enjoyed having a big dick:
enjoyed having girlfriends tell me how much bigger it is than other guys'
dicks; and having my wife tell me how much she likes it.  So I guess I just
saw it as an extension of that."

"Did you think about your students' smaller dicks while you masturbated?"

He looked shocked.  "Of course not!  I'm not a paedophile!"

"I wasn't suggesting that you were.  I was wondering, actually, if you may
be experiencing an emergence of homosexual feelings?"

He shook his head.  "I don't think so.  I mean, I have considered that.
But I don't have any desire to have sex with -- or even touch in a sexual
way -- another guy.  I just don't think it's that."

I nodded and asked, "Would you be ashamed if you did have those desires?"

"Not especially," he replied, shrugging.  "Let me tell you about something
that happened a few years ago.  I went into a public toilet for a piss and
there were loads of guys standing at the urinal.  I went and stood
alongside them -- at the time, it didn't occur to me why it might be so
crowded -- and pulled my dick out.  Of course they were there to pick other
guys up and, when they saw my dick, they got quite interested in me.  I
liked their attention... I liked having them looking at me and seeing them
getting hard as they got off on how big my cock is... but then one of them
knelt down to suck me and... well..."

"Well?"

"I just got out of there."  He laughed incredulously.  "I just fucking
ran!"

Then he apologised again for his language.

I smiled.  "Why did you run?"

"I dunno.  I suppose I just didn't want some guys' mouth around my cock.
It really repulsed me."

"Was he a repulsive-looking guy?"

"No... I don't remember exactly.  I think he was just an average-looking
bloke like me.  I dunno... it wasn't how he looked that freaked me out, it
was the fact he was a guy..."

I paused and considered what he was saying.  "Okay.  So let's say you're
not gay or bisexual... what happened next -- after your accidental exposure
in the changing room?"

"Well, the next time was an accident too.  The first few times were,
actually."

I nodded.

"I was with a group of first or second year boys, warming up with them
before football, and... well... it was my mistake.  I'd forgotten it was
football after school and I'd worn my boxers instead of briefs.  While I
was squatting down to stretch my thighs, my dick flopped out through the
leg of my shorts."

"Same response from the boys?"

"They were younger so there was a lot more giggling."

"And you enjoyed it?"

"No!  I was mortified.  I really felt bad about it.  But then..."

He seemed uncomfortable again.

"Then?" I prompted.

"Well, I noticed one of them had sprung a stiffie because of it.  His
shorts were tenting up."

"What did you do?"

He laughed hollowly.  "What do you think I did?  Got him out of there
before his mates noticed.  Told him he might like to go and get a drink of
water to calm down if he couldn't stop giggling.  Gave him the chance to
splash a bit of cold water on it."

"But the fact your dick had turned him on was significant...?"

"Of course it was!  I loved it!  Maybe it's the result of a mid-life crisis
or something, but the idea that my cock could be so appealing and cause so
much interest... well... it's pretty flattering."

I smiled.  "Did you develop an erection yourself?"

"Only afterward."

"Did you masturbate?"

He hesitated.  "Yes."

I nodded.  "Even so.  What you're telling me so far is completely
understandable."

He looked dubious.  "But a bit weird all the same."

I considered that.  "I suppose I'm not comfortable that you enjoyed
exposing yourself to your students, but since both occasions were
accidental and you were careful to hide the fact you enjoyed it from them,
I wouldn't call what you did 'weird'."

He said, "But you can't tell me that it's not weird to be making love to
your wife while at the same time you're getting turned on by the fact that
those boys were so impressed by the size of your cock...?"

I shook my head.  "I don't know if it is.  Some men like to be the best
among other men.  You know, to have the fastest car, the biggest house, the
most exotic holidays.  There's an obvious sexual competitiveness underlying
all of those.  Maybe your pleasure at finding that you have the largest
dick among other males is just a manifestation of that...?"

He looked unconvinced but nodded all the same.

I asked, "Is it always younger men who you expose yourself to, albeit
accidentally?"

"Not always.  The first few times involved lads because I work in a school,
I guess.  But once it got started, once the attraction of it had caught
hold, it started happening in other situations.  Situations I'd have found
pretty unremarkable beforehand."

"Such as?"

"Well... I dunno..."  He glanced distractedly around the room as though
trying to spot something to jog his memory.  "Erm... this isn't such a good
example... but there was the camping holiday we went on with my wife's
sister and her husband."

"What happened?"

"Dave and I had to share a communal shower -- it was the way the campsite
was set up.  Well, Dave had a dick you could hardly see without a
magnifying glass... I mean, when it was limp it just didn't even register."

He smiled and I said, "Go on..."

"Well, we had to shower together for the few days we were there.  We'd just
stand there, washing and chatting, with it all on display."

"And Dave threw you more than a casual glance?"

He laughed.  "Too right!  His eyes were out on stalks!  I swear that by the
third day he couldn't take his eyes off my cock!"

I smiled.  "And you, I suppose, were more than happy to flaunt it?"

He laughed.  "It had never been so thoroughly washed in its life!  It was
soaped down from every angle possible!"

"You put on a show for him?"

"Yeah... I suppose I did.  I really enjoyed the fact his was maybe a couple
of inches long while mine flopped against my thighs, halfway to my knees.
That really appealed to me, so I guess I milked it."

"And how did Dave respond?"

"Well, for the first few days he just stared at it, totally fascinated, but
on the last day he developed a hard-on.  It wasn't huge, but it was a vast
improvement on the limp version."

"Did he seem embarrassed?"

He smiled.  "Of course he did!  He kept trying to conceal it -- you know,
turning his arse to me -- and then he left the shower with his shampoo
positioned 'casually' in front of it."

I chuckled.  "You enjoyed that a lot, I bet."

He smiled more broadly.  "Yeah.  After he'd gone, I got hard myself."

"And masturbated?"

He nodded.  "Only while the coast was clear."

I asked him, "Can I try something?  Let's say that Dave, after developing
an erection, seemed perfectly comfortable with it.  As if brothers-in-law
showering together with hard-ons was the most normal thing in the world.
How would you have responded?"

His reaction was instantaneous.  "I'd have pissed off out of there."

"Why?"

"Because I'd have thought he was coming onto me."

I nodded.  "I thought as much, but I just wanted to ask you."

"You still think I might be a closet gay?"

I shrugged.  "It's a possibility, though it now seems very unlikely."

"The thought of doing anything like that with Dave," he said, "really turns
my stomach."

"But the thought of him getting turned on looking at your dick does the
opposite?"

He nodded slowly.  "Very much so."

I tried, "If you knew that he masturbated thinking about your dick, what
would that do for you?"

He shrugged.  "To be honest, I kind of assume he does."

"And the boys in your football class?  Do you think they do too?"

"Probably some of them."

I smiled.  "Okay.  Let's try something else.  Everyone has a favourite
fantasy they enjoy reliving the most.  In relation to what we've been
talking about, what's yours?"

He seemed to consider several possibilities for a few moments and then
settled on: "I suppose it would have to be the staff-versus-students
football match."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Well, not a lot, really.  And like most of these situations, it just sort
of came about by chance."

He paused, perhaps indulging himself a few lingering memories of what
happened, and I waited for him to continue.

After a few seconds, smiling slightly, he went on, "It was more of a
five-a-side game, really, so after the match there was just a handful of
staff sharing the shower room with a few of the lads, mostly sixth-formers.

"The shower room was one of those open, communal affairs and I was really
enjoying the fact that everyone was noticing my cock while trying to
pretend not to.  I was getting off on it a bit, and I allowed my cock to
grow a little.  Not enough to be obvious, but enough to look really long
and thick while still hanging down.  You know what I mean?"

I nodded.

He laughed, "The thing was like a third leg, but I just stood there,
showering, as though I was totally oblivious to it; as if I hadn't even
noticed that my cock was so much bigger than every other guy's standing
around me!"

I smiled.  "Go on..."

"Well, eventually, one of the lads saw me looking at him while he was
checking it out, and so he made like he'd just spotted it.  He cracked some
joke about it; something about how I probably couldn't find a jock-strap
big enough to hold it.  Then the rest of them pretended that they'd only
just noticed it and took a few minutes to stare at it, saying how big it
looked."

"And how did you feel about that?"

"I liked it.  I think I only felt embarrassed about the attention it got on
the first few occasions people saw it.  Once I'd got used to their
responses, I could pretend like it was wasn't a big deal and just enjoy the
fact they were staring at it."

"So what happened then?"

He looked back down at my desk, smiling slightly and clearly relishing the
memory of what had happened.  "One of the lads said that it looked a lot
bigger than the cock of the guy who supposedly had the biggest in the
sixth-form; this lower-sixth rugby player called Addams.  Addams was
apparently eight inches limp -- they'd measured it in the showers after a
match.  You know what lads can be like.  Mine was estimated -- and not just
by the boys, but a couple of my colleagues were interested enough to chip
in -- at being closer to ten."

"Were they envious of your size?"

He nodded.  "I think there was a bit of that, but it was pretty humorous
and good-natured."

He went on, "The best part -- the part I like most -- was when one of the
other staff said that he'd always, up until then, thought of himself as
being pretty well-hung.  I don't know the guy too well -- he's a
newly-qualified Physics teacher, I think."

"What happened?"

"Well everyone laughed and then someone suggested that the two of us should
stand up close to one another so that his cock was right next to mine.  I
didn't expect him to agree -- after all, his cock was dwarfed by mine --
but he did, and --"

"Weren't you afraid that you'd develop an erection?" I interrupted him.

He shook his head.  "The situation was turning me on, yeah, but I was in
control.  I knew I could control it.  I mean, if for a second I'd have
thought I was going to get a hard-on, I'd have just made some joke about
them being immature, or something, and got out of there to wrap a towel
around myself."

I nodded.  "Okay... so you got up close to him..."

"Yeah.  That was the best bit.  I mean, his cock wasn't small -- I'd say
maybe seven inches long or something -- but next to mine, it looked
pathetic.

"One of the lads -- a tall guy with a cock of about three inches -- said,
'Your football skills might not be the best, Mr Jones, but your knob beats
the rest of ours hands-down!'

"And I grinned and then we talked about other stuff, while everyone kept
taking sly glances at my cock."

"And what about afterward?" I asked.

He seemed puzzled.  "We got dried."

"No -- I mean, did you masturbate?"

He smiled.  "Of course.  When I got home.  I still think about it... pretty
regularly."

"Can I ask you something?"  He nodded.  I went on, "If you'd have been
surrounded by naked girls and female staff in the showers that day, instead
of males, do you think you'd have developed an erection?"

He laughed.  "Of course I would have!  Any guy would have!"

"Why?"

He looked at me incredulously, like the question was absurd.  "Because they
were naked women!  What do you mean?"

"Would you have been aroused because they were impressed by the size of
your organ?"

He shrugged.  "I dunno.  I guess there'd have been a bit of that.  But come
on, doc, if you were placed in a shower full of naked women, it wouldn't be
the size of your own cock you'd be focussing on, would it?"

I nodded.  "But placed in a shower full of men, it is...?"

He shrugged like this whole discussion was pointless.  "Of course.  I'm not
likely to get turned on by their bodies, am I?"

"So what you're saying is that it's the direct comparison between your
organ and other men's that provoke so much interest in you?"

He nodded.  "And the fact they're impressed by it."

"And aroused by it?"

He smiled.  "I guess I like that too.  Or maybe my self-esteem does."

"Are you ever tempted to expose yourself to women?"

He shrugged.  "Not really."

"But you've recently started doing it -- deliberately -- with other men?"

I could see he wasn't happy to admit to that.  "It's not always deliberate
-- like I said, usually --"

"But sometimes it is?"

"Occasionally."

"At school?"

He shook his head.  "I'm not as careful as I used to be about hiding my
body -- I'll grant you that.  I mean, take the staff-versus-student
football match -- a few years ago, I wouldn't have dreamed of showing
myself off like that.  But I don't deliberately expose myself at school."

"So give me an example of when you did."

He shrugged again, considering possibilities.  "I dunno.  I guess I like
standing next to rows of men in the gents, taking a piss.  Everyone
checking each other out."

"That's hardly exposing yourself, though, is it?"

"I don't go down the local woods and pull my cock out for little boys, if
that's what you're asking..."

I smiled patiently.  "I wasn't.  But you said you occasionally,
deliberately, show other men your organ..."

He took a deep breath and thought about a reply.

At length, he said, "Okay.  A few months ago, I had to go on a course with
a younger member of staff.  He's a cocky little squirt, and I wasn't too
pleased that we had to share a room.  I suppose, over those couple of
nights, I deliberately showed myself off a bit..."

"Why?"

"To piss him off.  And... of course... to entertain myself."  He smirked.

"What did you do?"

"Well, the first night, as we undressed, he clearly wanted me to see his
cock, maybe thinking himself pretty well kitted-out.  He was nicely built,
I'll grant him that, but was easily a good couple of inches shorter than me
and nowhere near as thick.  I suppose he wanted to show the older guy what
he was made of, and kind of flashed it a little before he pulled a pair of
night-shorts on."

I smiled.  "And then you showed him your response?"

He chuckled.  "In spades.  I mean, he could see as soon as I took off my
trousers, from the sag of my briefs, what was coming."

He added, with a grin, "I go through pairs of briefs pretty quickly!"

"And when you took them off?"

"He just stared at it.  For the first couple of seconds at least, he made
no attempt to hide his amazement."

I laughed.  "And you gave him plenty to see?"

"Jesus, yeah!  I paraded around the room!  I mean, I was chatting casually,
brushing my teeth and stuff, while my cock slapped around on my thighs and
he kept taking what he thought were discreet glances at it."

"And you kept it up the whole time you were in the room together?
Deliberately?"

"Yeah," he grinned.  "I was definitely deliberate about it.  When I dressed
on a morning, I'd put my vest on first and then a shirt, letting my cock
hang down from beneath the bottom of it, chatting away but watching him
watching it.  Then I'd bend for my socks and let him see it dangling low
between my thighs beneath my arse.  Then I'd make it swing like a pendulum
as I pulled on my socks.  And then, and only then -- with him trying to
seem cool but hardly able to take his eyes off it -- would I pull on my
briefs."

I laughed.  "You tease you!"

He laughed back.  "It was fun!"

"Was he aroused by it?"

"I think so.  I know he's got a girlfriend, but I heard him wanking in the
shower on both mornings we were there, so I guess I stirred something in
him."

"Have there been any other examples of this kind of thing?"

"The odd few."

"Do you want to tell me another?"

He shrugged.  "Okay.  When my wife's brother came to stay with us, I
deliberately left the bathroom door open while I was taking a shower and
didn't pull the shower curtain."

"What happened?"

"Well I timed it so that I'd be in there when he woke up.  After a few
minutes, I saw him looking in at me; looking at my cock."

"Like he was meant to."

He went on, "I called out, 'Feel free to come in if you need to take a
piss, mate.'  He did and while he stood pissing at the toilet, we chatted.
He kept glancing over at my cock, trying to make it look like he was just
casually looking around the room."

"Did he like what he saw?"

"Well I noticed it was a lot bigger than his, and I think he was semi-hard
by the time he finished pissing but I couldn't swear to that."

"Okay.  Any other occasions that spring to mind?"

He seemed reluctant to offer any more examples.  He said, "Well they all
become much the same.  Different people, similar situations."  He paused
and then went on, "Except for one, but I was kind of saving it for the
psychiatrist..."

"Why?"

He shrugged.  "I dunno.  I suppose I'm kind of ashamed of it.  It was
something I shouldn't have done but, at the time, I couldn't really help
myself."

"Well, at the moment I'm thinking a referral to sexual psychologist would
be the best.  I know just the right guy, actually.  But if things have
happened which are more serious than the examples you've given, then I'd
like to know about them.  A psychiatrist might, after all, be the best
option..."

He thought about that for a few moments.  Then he said, "Well, no-one was
hurt or anything.  It's not serious in that sense.  It was
just... well... something I suppose I'm pretty embarrassed about..."

"I don't mind if you'd rather not tell me."

He shook his head.  "No.  I've told you the rest.  It's not like it's some
huge revelation anyway.  It's just... well... a bit weird..."

For a couple of moments I didn't say anything.  I wanted to give him his
own space to tell me.

After that short silence, he went on, "Well, a month or so ago, the men's
toilets at the school were renovated.  It was supposed to happen in the
holiday but there was mix up and --"

"I thought you said nothing else deliberate happened at school."

He looked at me defensively.  "Well, this did."

Then he went on, "The room is pretty small -- there are a couple of urinals
and washbasins, and a cubical with a toilet in it.  There must be forty or
fifty men on the staff so you can imagine it gets pretty busy in there at
break-times..."

I nodded.

"Anyway they'd taken down the walls of the cubical and removed the door --
they were sheets of... what do you call it... formica... or something?"

I shrugged.

"Kind of like hardboard," he explained.

"Okay.  I get the picture."

"Well, the toilet was just there on its own in the room with nothing around
it.  I went in to take a piss just before break and the room was empty.  I
thought, 'Jesus, that's pretty bad.  If anyone needs to take a crap,
they're not going to get much privacy.'"

He paused, clearly waiting for a reaction or to be prompted.  I said, "And
then you thought you might just do that..."

He blushed for the first time in over half an hour.  He looked genuinely
ashamed of himself.

He said, quietly, "I couldn't stop myself.  That's actually why I came to
see you.  At the time I enjoyed it so much, but afterward... well... I just
haven't been able to look anyone in the eye..."

I nodded.  "Okay.  So what actually happened?"

He took a deep breath.  "I pulled down my trousers and briefs, and sat on
the toilet.  I didn't actually take a crap -- that would have been
disgusting -- but I just sat there like I was going to."

"And your dick?"

"It was big enough to hang over the edge of the seat.  To be honest, even
as I waited for someone to come in and imagined their response, it was
becoming semi-hard."

He looked up at me and added, blushing again slightly, "I actually withdrew
my foreskin over my bell-end to really emphasize how big it is... I wish I
hadn't done that now..."

"Why?"

"I dunno... I just think maybe it made it looked more staged."

"Okay.  What happened when someone came in?"

"Well, he was apologetic but I just shrugged like I didn't care.  I said
something like, 'Sorry, mate, but they're halfway through fixing this place
up... I just kind of got caught short!'  The guy laughed and said 'No
worries' -- I think he was one of the caterers -- and went to take a piss.

"He couldn't stop looking at my cock -- I think that's what made me stay
seated on the toilet.  When I'd first sat down, I'd just intended to sit
there until someone came in and then pretend to clean up and flush.  But
the way he looked at my cock -- and then the sight of his at the urinal
looking smaller than my bell-end on its own -- well... I just stayed put."

"Do you think it was obvious that you were semi-erect?"

"I don't think so.  The end of it was floppy enough to hang over the edge
of the toilet seat.  I suppose you'd have to know my cock pretty well to be
able to tell that it was much bigger and thicker than normal."

"How big was it in this state?"

"I don't know exactly, but I'd say well over ten inches long
and... well..."  He glanced at my forearm, before continuing, "As thick as
your wrist."

I grinned.  "That's pretty impressive.  I can see why you'd want to show it
off, but I don't think it was a good idea doing something like that in
front of your workmates."

He blushed again.  "Yeah, I know.  I hadn't intended to do it.  It just got
out of hand."

"More people started coming in?"

He chuckled dryly.  "The place became crowded.  Guys I've known for years
were coming in, standing to take a piss and looking down at my cock that
must have been two, three or even four times the size of theirs."

"Do you think they suspected you were aroused?"

He shook his head emphatically. "No!  Really, I don't.  I mean, my face
must have been scarlet and I was apologising profusely.  They were saying,
'Don't worry about it, mate' and, 'It's not your fault.  They shouldn't
have taken the cubical apart just before break-time'.  Stuff like that."

"But all the time you were enjoying it?"

"Part of me, yes.  Enjoying their interest -- their fascination -- with my
cock.  I mean, most of them just know me as the quiet Maths teacher who
keeps himself to himself at work -- a total nonentity, basically -- and yet
now they could see, between my legs, the kind of cock that most of them
would die for."

"Penis size is so important, is it?"

He sneered.  "People with small cocks say it isn't, that it's what you do
with it and all that crap, but you show me a guy who wouldn't give his
right arm for a cock the size of mine..."

"Okay.  So you caused a lot of interest?"

He smiled but behind it was the same shame that he'd shown when he'd
started telling me this part of his story.  "Let's just say, most of them
lingered.  Some of them struck up conversation with me to give me the
chance to get a longer view of me."

"Did you stay there the whole of break-time?"

"Most of it.  Until it had quietened down and I had the chance to pull my
trousers up without anyone noticing that I was hard."

"You were fully hard by the time you did?"

He shook his head.  "Not fully.  I have to be really aroused for my cock to
actually stand upright.  But I was hard enough for it to stick pretty
prominently outwards from my balls and for my bell-end to be the size
of... I dunno... maybe a small apple or something."

"And you're sure no-one saw you were in that state?"

"They saw the maths teacher sitting on the toilet openly showing off his
fucking enormous cock!" he barked.  "Isn't that enough?!"

I said gently, "I just think it gives you a lot of explaining to do if they
knew you were aroused by what you were doing.  If they didn't realise that
you were, what you did might seem a bit eccentric, but at least it can be
explained by having a particularly upset stomach just at that rather
unfortunate moment when the cubical had been dismantled..."

He thought about what I'd said and took a few seconds to calm down.  Then
he said, more evenly, "I don't think they did.  They just saw it was big,
they wouldn't have known how excited I was."

"Okay.  You said you've felt embarrassed about this: did that prevent you
from reliving it while you were masturbating in the days afterward?"

He shook his head.  "No, I've wanked and thought about it.  I mean, it
embarrasses me when I'm feeling... you know... practically minded.  I
realise then what a weirdo I must have looked.  But when I feel turned
on... well... anything goes."

"Yeah.  That's what's worrying about it."

I glanced up at the clock and saw that it was after seven o'clock.  I was
surprised that security hadn't banged impatiently on the door.

"We'd better leave it there," I said.  "It's getting late.  I'm going to
refer you to the sexual psychologist after all and he can decide whether or
not he wants to involve someone else.  I'm assuming here that you'd prefer
a male psychologist...?"

He nodded.

I stood up to get my jacket on and he did too.

He said, "Thanks for listening to me, Dr Wallace.  I think just talking
about it has made a lot of difference and some of the stuff you said -- the
way you put it -- made a lot of sense."

I smiled.  "Thanks, but I wouldn't dare to advise you.  You'll have to talk
to the psychologist for suggestions about where to go from here."

He nodded.

As I opened the door to show him out, I said, "You'll get a letter from him
over the next week or so suggesting a time for the appointment."

I heard later that a letter had been sent three times, but had remained
unanswered.

Since the guy never returned to my surgery and I never heard any more about
him, I assume that he managed to get his -- shall we say -- 'habit' under
some sort of control.

===

In this, the first of what I hope will be series of "cases", I wanted to
write a story which, despite having no gay characters or sexual acts, would
nevertheless be regarded as a successful erotic gay story.  Any comments
you have would be welcome!

sebastian_wallace@yahoo.co.uk

===