Date: Mon, 14 Nov 2016 20:20:06 +0000 (UTC)
From: Robert Furlong <robert.furlong@rocketmail.com>
Subject: Dropping the Bottle Opener

DROPPING THE BOTTLE OPENER
by Robert Furlong

===

robert.furlong@rocketmail.com
dirty-shorts.tumblr.com

===

So he bends over to pick up the bottle opener, his jeans so far down you
can see his arse inside his boxers, and I say, "Fuckin' 'ell, Tyler!  Are
you deliberately flashin' me an eyeful o' wank-fodder!"

He turned to grin at me, still bending over, and reached round to the back
his boxers to yank them down a bit and show off his chubby white cheeks.
He made a stupid face like some porn tart over-doing it and called out,
"Oh, bum me arse, Nick!  Bum it dead hard!"

"Seriously, mate," I laughed, "any more o' that, an' I'll be whackin' off
all night, re-livin' the moment!"

His arse did look really nice, the part of it I could see.  I liked the way
his crack was gaping open a bit from where he was bending forwards, and how
his butt-hair was sprouting like a thicket inside it.

"What, for real, Nick?" he grinned, pulling his boxers and jeans back up
and standing up with the bottle opener.  "You'd proper wank off thinkin'
about my arse?"

"Of course I would!" I laughed.  "You know I'm a bender, mate!"

I'd told him I was gay when we'd been like eighteen or something.

"Yeah, but you know I'm not," he said, sitting back down in the armchair
and opening another beer.

"My brain knows yer straight, yeah, but my prick doesn't much care!  And an
arse is an arse when a gay lad's poundin' the pork!"

"But d'ya think about my arse, Nick?" he asked after taking a gobful of
drink.  "I mean, d'ya think of my arse in particular when you're bonin'
off?"

I paused, pretending like I suddenly needed a swig from my own bottle,
while I thought about my answer.  I didn't want to freak him out - make him
scared that I might fancy him or something - but I didn't want to lie and
make out that I didn't find him attractive.

So in the end I pussied out and asked him back, "Would it bother you if I
did?"

He shrugged.  "I dunno... mebbe not.  I suppose I'd figured you might think
about... you know... my dick and stuff.  But my arse..."

He thought about it for a few seconds, taking another drink from his
bottle, before deciding, "Well, since yer gay I suppose it's a bit obvious
that you'd jerk off thinkin' about what my bum looks like."

I nodded, pleased he'd answered his question for himself.

"You should be flattered, mate," I grinned, "it's not every bloke's arse
that has me whackin' me stalk off over it!"

He chucked but I could see from his face that he was thinking over what
this really meant.

"So do you just think about what it looks like...?  Or do you..."

He looked across at me, his eyes on mine.  He muttered, "You don't mind me
askin' you this sort o' stuff, do you?"

"Of course, I don't," I smiled, trying to lighten the mood a bit.  "Since
it's your arse, Tyler... I guess you have a right to know what I'm thinkin'
about it!"

He smiled back but he still looked serious.

"Do you imagine doin' stuff with it?"

I shrugged.  "Sometimes... yeah..."

"Touchin' it?"

"Yeah..."

"Stickin' your knob up it?"

I paused and then nodded before admitting with a small blush, "Or other
things..."

"Other things?  Like what?"

Now he looked terrified, like I'd been imagining ramming a fucking
truncheon up there or something.

"I just mean my finger... or my tongue..."

"Your tongue!  Fuckin' hell, Nick - steady on, mate!"

"What's up?" I said, surprised that he'd be so shocked.  "It's what gay
lads do, Tyler!  There's always blokes doin' it to each other in gay porn."

"Mebbe there is... but Jesus!  I 'ad no idea you was into doin' stuff like
that!"

I smiled at him, still trying to make this a bit more lightweight.

"Come on, mate - you like lickin' a girl's minge out before you shove your
dick up it," I said.  It wasn't a question - he went on about how horny he
thought it was all the time.  "Well, I like lickin' a lad's tush just the
same!"

"But it's his fuckin' arse!" he said back, totally appalled at the idea.
"I mean it'd be bad enough pushin' your cock up the hole another fella
shits through... but stickin' your tongue up it.... tell me yer fuckin'
kiddin', dude!"

"Straight up, Tyler.  It's called rimming a dude out and it's not dirty or
nasty or anything like that.  First time I did it I couldn't believe how
horny I got!"

"What, doin' it or havin' it done to you?"

"Both ways, mate," I grinned.  In a funny sort of way I was pleased we were
having this conversation and being upfront about stuff.  "You'd think it'd
be awful, stickin' yer face into some dude's arse crack, but believe me,
Tyler - for a gay guy it's total heaven!"

"Jesus," he said again, staring at me like a goldfish and looking more
blown out than he had the night I'd told him I fancied guys not girls.

"So that's what you think about doin', is it?" he asked eventually.
"Wanking yer prick off, thinkin' about gettin' down behind me and 'avin' a
lick of me arse?"

"Sometimes, yeah," I admitted.

"And does it really get you goin'?  I mean, can you actually spunk up
thinkin' of lickin' my shitter?"

I was surprised by the question because he'd never asked me stuff like
this.  He was often keen to joke about whacking off himself and the girls
and scenarios that had made his spunk start shooting, but he'd always just
ignored the fact that for me things don't quite work the same way.

"Not always," I replied.  "I like to think about other stuff too..."

"Like what?"

"I told you – I sometimes think about what it'd be like to finger it.
Or goin' a bit further and... you know..."

"Shovin' yer dick up it?" he reminded me.

I nodded and asked him "Does all this bother you, mate?"

He shrugged and took a swig from his beer and then said, "I guess
not... not really.  I suppose it's obvious that you would wank off over
stuff like that... I just didn't know you was thinkin' about doin' it with
me."

"It's nothin' serious, Tyler," I told him with what I hoped would look like
a friendly smile.  "It's just fantasy, mate.  No different to you jerkin'
off thinkin' about that girl you like in Starbucks."

"I fancy her, though," he said, suddenly looking more defensive.  "You're
not sayin' that you fancy me, are you?"

"Of course I fuckin' don't mate!" I laughed, maybe too quickly.  "Okay, so
that was a bad example.  You must jerk off thinkin' about girls you know
without fancying them..."

He nodded, looking slightly less rattled.  "Okay, fair point.  I just
didn't know, that's all.  It hadn't occurred to me that you'd be jazzin'
off thinkin' about doin' stuff with my bum, but mebbe that's just me bein'
stupid."

"Would it bother you less if I'd told you I was wankin' off thinkin' about
your dick?"

"Yeah, prob'ly," he nodded.  "I mean, I've seen you lookin' at it when
we've been takin' a piss and stuff, so I figured you was prob'ly wonderin'
what it'd be like to... you know... suck it off... and... well... that
kinda thing."

"'That kinda thing'?" I asked.

"Yeah," he smirked, looking more okay with this side of things.  "Gettin'
it up you... 'avin' me on yer back, shaggin' you up the bum!"

"And that wouldn't bother you?"

"Not really," he grinned.  "I'm pretty fit and I'm not too bad lookin' so
it's not totally whacked-out to think a gay guy might imagine what it'd be
like to have me in bed with him... workin' him over!"

"Okay," I smiled back.  "So you'd be okay with it if I said I wanked off
thinkin' of me bendin' over with you bangin' away behind me?"

"It wouldn't suprise me, no!" he answered.  "I mean, I wouldn't... you
know... presume you'd be up for whatever... but it's occurred to me once or
twice that you might think about what it'd be like to have me givin' yer
arse a good bummin'!"

"Okay... so havin' me thinkin' about your arse isn't that much different,
is it?"

"Of course it is!" he shot back, his expression becoming hostile again.
"It's totally fuckin' different!  Out of the fuckin' ball park, Nick!"

I didn't ask how it was so different but instead tried to calm things down
again.

"Look, mate, if it's gonna spaz you out, we can talk about somethin' else.
I only told you this sorta stuff 'cause you asked me about it."

"No - I wanna know," he insisted.  "Like you said, it's my bum so it's only
right I know what you're thinkin' about it."

"I've pretty much told you all there is," I shrugged.  "If I wank off over
it - and it's not like I do that all the time - I think about licking it,
fingering it and... well..."

"Fucking it," he said flatly and I nodded, hoping that telling him my dirty
secret wouldn't affect our friendship.

"So how do you imagine doin' it?" he asked.  "I mean, what's yer favourite
position to wank off over?"

"How do I imagine shaggin' yer arse?"

"Yeah... d'ya think of me bendin' over with you behind me?  The two of us
doin' it like the way it's scrawled all over the walls of blokes' bogs?"

"Pretty much," I admitted.  "It's as good a position as any."

"Do we do it on your bed in your bedroom?"

"Tyler, you know this is all just fantasy... there's nothing serious in it.
You totally get that, don't you?"

"I know that, yeah," he nodded.  "I'm just interested in finding out how
yer've been imaginin' gettin' it on with me."

"Well, yeah, we mostly do it on my bed... you on all-fours and me kneelin'
behind you.  We've got our clothes on with our jeans hitched down, 'cause I
reckon it'd be a spur o' the moment kinda thing, if you know what I mean."

He smiled at that.  My gay fantasies, like his straight ones no doubt, had
to be realistic if they were going to be horny.

He asked, "And am I all like, 'Give it to me big boy!  Bum me proper hard!'
and stuff?"

"Naah... that would seem daft 'cause I don't think you would do that."

"So what do I say?"

"Nothin' much.  I just do you up the bum and we both stare forwards at my
bedroom wall with me holdin' onto you by the hips."

He chuckled and grinned at me and I suddenly realised he was getting
interested in this.  And not just to find out what sort of stuff was going
on in my sick and twisted brain, but maybe because he was liking that I
thought he was fit and wanked off thinking about doing him.

"And what's me arse look like in this fantasy of yours?" he smirked over.

"It just looks like your arse.  I have... you know... seen it a few
times..."

I pretty regularly got a nice long look at the big solid thing in the
showers after we'd played football with the team he plays on at work.  It's
one of the best butts I've seen, and I've seen quite a few.

"So you'll know I haven't got the sort of arse you're gonna see in a gay
porno... I mean, it's not shaved and scrubbed and definitely doesn't smell
of rose petals!"

"I wouldn't like it if it was," I shrugged.  "I like blokes' arses to look
and smell like... well... blokes' arses.  I take them as they come."

He nodded and kept staring over at me with that weird smirk on his lips
sort of fixed in place.  I wasn't sure if this was just him feeling
flattered or whether there was something else making him look at me so
funny.

"In that case, you wouldn't mind that I'm all hairy and smelly down there?"

I shook my head and he went on, "And you don't mind it gets a bit grungy
between the cheeks?  That doesn't put you off when you're wankin' off
thinkin' about licking me out?"

I was again surprised by the question - especially the way he was looking
at me like he was - but I thought I'd answer it honestly.

If he wanted me to say that I found another fella's unwashed bum a bit too
icky for my sissy boy tastes, then he totally had another thing coming.  I
like men's arses in whatever state I find them and I have no problem with
getting my nose wedged into the wiry stink between a nice looking guy's big
beefy pair of cheeks.

So I said, trying to smirk back like this was just the two of us having a
bit of banter, "I don't mind a sweaty crack, Tyler."

"It's not just sweat, mate," his mouth broke into a full-on grin.

"Well, I don't mind that either if I'm honest," I smiled back.

"You don't?"

"Do you mind licking a girl out if she isn't sqeaky clean?"

"When you put it like that, I suppose a bit of smell down there is part o'
the fun, isn't it?  I just didn't think it would work the same way with a
gay bloke lickin' another fella's skanky arse."

"It works for me like that.  I find it kinda... well... horny, if I'm
honest..."

"So it wouldn't bother you if I was a bit shitty back there?" he asked,
that odd-looking smirk returning.

I shrugged.  "Not really, mate... I reckon I'd prob'ly like it...."

We stared at each other for a few seconds before Tyler took a long deep
drink from his bottle, finishing it off.  He got up and went out into the
kitchen to get a couple more beers from the fridge and then came back into
the room and threw one over to me.

"You know what the most messed up part of all this is?" he asked.  "My
cock's gone horny as fuck with all this dirty talk we've been havin'!"

So that must have been what all the smirking was about.

"Can you believe that, mate?!" he went on, laughing.  "I've only gone and
grown a gristle!"

I looked at his crotch and saw a long, thick rod running upwards towards
the left pocket of his jeans.  Tyler had a big cock - something else I'd
often noticed in the football showers.

"It's not on full bone, is it?" I grinned, putting two and two together
about what this meant.

He smiled back at me, still standing up, and gently rubbed at the mound his
organ was making in the front of his jeans.  "Big as it gets, Nick... and
dribblin' like a leaky tap!  All from the thought of havin' a tongue
lickin' round me dirty shitter!"

"The thought of my tongue lickin' it?"

"Not yours especially," he replied.  "Just how horny it must be to feel
someone's tongue slidin' in and out of me little brown stink-hole."

"It feels totally awesome, Tyler... you 'ave no idea 'til you've tried it."

"Well, I'd be well up for tryin' it.  Me fuckin' cock's makin' me boxers
all sticky just from the thought of it."

I wanted to offer that if he yanked the back of his jeans down here and
now, I'd stick my face into his whiffy butt-crack and give his chute the
full works.  But I wasn't sure if he really was giving me the come-on I
thought he was and was afraid of how he might react to the suggestion that
I wanted to get sexy with him.

So I didn't say anything and watched him reach over the low table for the
bottle opener.  He grabbed it and then, making it obvious it was
deliberate, dropped it onto the floor.  He smirked at me and then bent down
like he had earlier, making the waistband of his jeans hitch down to show
off for the second time his big chunky buttocks filling out the back of his
shorts.

"Oh nice!" I laughed.  "More wank fodder for me, mate!"

"Yeah?" he grinned up over his shoulder.  "Is this gettin' you horny too?"

"I reckon it will if you gimme a flash of yer buns like you did before!"

He chuckled and yanked down the back of his shorts to let me see his bare
bum.  He went further this time and I got to ogle at a lot more of it than
he had when he'd been joking about earlier.

It was really skanky if I'm honest.  There was a moist sticky residue
smeared inside his crack and the forest of hair between his cheeks was
matted in clumps around where his pucker would be.

I felt my mouth watering at how tasty it looked.  If he wanted my face in
there he only had to ask.

"Is the sight o' my cruddy crack givin' you somethin' to crank yer nut
over?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," I grinned.  "It looks well hot, Tyler.  I fuckin' love it!"

"Might as well show you the whole shebang," he said, pulling his jeans
further down and hitching his boxers down to the tops of his thighs.  His
massive hard-on sprung upwards underneath his belly and pointed forwards
with its red head looking full and slimy.  His boner was so much bigger
than I'd expected from how it looked limp in the showers.  Even in my
fantasies, his knob had never seemed this long and thick.

He went to pick up the bottle opener and then clumsily dropped it again,
causing him to swivel around a bit and back towards me.

"I can't seem to get a grip on this thing," he chuckled and kept dropping
it over and over, until soon his round, ripe arse was right in front of my
face.  I could smell his crack-odour strongly from how close he was.  It
was giving out a harsh, raunchy stink that made my own much smaller cock
grow longer in my briefs, poking upwards against the fly of my jeans.

"Jesus, Tyler," I gasped, inhaling his bum stink hungrily, "your arse is
well whiffy!  I bet it tastes fuckin' gorgeous, mate!"

"You wanna try it?" he asked.  "Just between the two of us, mind."

"Fuck yeah!" I laughed.  "You sure you want me to?"

"Just to see how it feels.  If I like it you can... well... let's just see
if I like it first, eh?!"

I got off the sofa and knelt down behind him like I'd fantasized so many
times across years of wank-off sessions.  His arse seemed so massive right
in front of my face - much bigger and more meaty than the butts of the
other lads I'd hooked up with and rimmed out.

I pressed my face against his cheeks with my nose nuzzling into his hot,
funky trench.  I took a long deep sniff of his stink and he laughed and
said, "Oh yeah, sniff my fuckin' arse, you dirty bum-boy!"

All the time he'd known I was gay, Tyler had never gone in for name-calling
and I was surprised that right now he would say something like that.  I
figured it must his way of proving he really was straight, in spite of
letting another guy rim him out, and so even though normally I'd have had a
go at him about calling me a bum-boy, I let it drop if I meant I got to
taste his big chunky bum.

I inhaled a few times and then told him, "Bloody 'ell, Tyler!  Your arse
stinks as rough as fuck!"

He laughed again at that and said, "That's how you like 'em though, isn't
it?"

"Too fuckin' right," I gasped, and pushed my face back into him.

My cock was aching in my jeans as I started licking at the hot, strong funk
sticking to my mate's butt-hair and smeared up the insides of his cheeks.
I lapped at it hungrily, desperate to taste how rank and bitter it was, and
Tyler grabbed my head and ground it harder into his big muscly behind.

"Come on, stick yer tongue up there, nancy-boy!  Fuck me with it, like you
wanna bum it with yer faggot cock!"

Again I was surprised at the way he was talking to me, but I did as he
wanted me to.  I pushed my tongue against his tight, swollen hole until it
gave in to the pressure and opened up to let me in.

Tyler gasped at feeling my slide into him and then groaned at how great it
felt to have the inside of his bum licked out.

I tongued furiously in and out of his hot clammy arsehole, feeding like a
half-starved man on all the gunge and crud his butt could give me.

I pulled back from him, gasping, and said, "Jesus, mate!  I've gotta wank
off!  This is totally fuckin' awesome!"

He got up from bending forwards and swivelled around to jab his huge
throbbing cock into my face.  "Suck it, fag-boy!  Eat my big dick!"

As I opened my mouth to ask him why he was calling me all these names, he
rammed his shiny red bell-end through my lips so that my mouth was quickly
filled to bursting with the thick shaft of Tyler's massive hard-on.  He
grabbed the sides of my head with both hands to hold it firm and then
face-fucked me roughly, with long rapid strokes.

"Ah yeah!  Eat it deep, you fuckin' cock sucker!  Get the stink of my arse
all over it!"

I did as he was telling me to - not that I had much choice - and slavered
all over the cock with the tongue that had been up his butt.

He grunted, "Drink my juice, you little butt-slut!  Bet it tastes better
than my shitty hole!"

I reached up to grab his bum with both hands.  I loved how firm and muscly
his cheeks felt as the broad girth of his cock slammed faster and faster in
and out of my mouth.  I slid my fingers into his crack, feeling how bristly
he was between his cheeks, and worked them lower and lower until I'd found
the hot wet opening I'd just rimmed out.

I quickly worked a finger up his spit slippery hole, and I found that he
loved the feel of having his pucker played with at the same time that his
cock was being sucked.

"Fuck yeah!  Frig my shitter off, butt-muncher!  Push it in and out, really
fast and hard!"

I worked him as roughly as I could, slobbering all over his hammering cock.
But then I had to pull back from him, even though it was difficult because
he was holding me so strongly, and call up to him, "Tyler!  Seriously,
mate... I've really gotta wank off!"

He grinned down at me, "Come on, then!  Get yer dick out and jerk it off
while you finger my arse!"

He pushed my hands off his bum, his hole making a squelching fart as my
finger slid out of it, and then turned around again to bend forwards and
let me finger him properly.  I stood up and unzipped myself, yanking my
little chub-on out so that it poked upwards from my fly.

"Frig me off!" he commanded, grabbing his butt-cheeks with both hands and
opening his crack right up so that I could see his pink ringpiece sticking
out among the soaking clumps of hair.  "Really work it in and out while you
give your meat a good cuffin'!"

I leaned forwards and pressed my middle finger against his arsehole,
feeling it open much more quickly this time to take in what was being
offered.  I slid my finger all the way into him to the knuckle and then
eased it out again, enjoying the way it now looked a couple of shades
browner than the others on either side of it.

Fingering Tyler was going to be much more stinky than I'd expected.  Not
that I'm complaining - the smell of his arse would make it even more hot.

"Ah yeah!" Tyler panted.  "Ram it in and out!"

He opened his legs and squatted down more to make his butt gape wider, and
his big heavy bollocks hung down between his thighs.

I started fingering him quickly and roughly, really jabbing his arse with
my fist smacking his cheeks hard and loud.  He groaned at how much he loved
it and began jerking his big dick off underneath his belly.  That made his
massive nutsack swing back and forth between his legs, and once or twice
his knackers slapped against my wrist as I bashed away at his hole.

I couldn't believe how great it felt - fingering Tyler's hairy butthole the
way I'd imagined so many times in my bed with my hand pumping away at my
prick.

"Let me see you wanking off, gay-boy," he said.  "Let me see how horny my
arse has made your prick."

I moved around so that he could see my hard-on from where he was hunched
over, and he laughed really loudly on seeing it poking out of my fly.

"Fuck me, Nick!  Your knob is fuckin' tiny!"

"It's not that small, mate," I said, looking down at my five inch boner and
feeling embarrassed that it hadn't grown much since I was in my teens.
"I've seen smaller... much smaller..."

"What, on a fuckin' baby?"

"No, on another bloke.  On full bone too."

"It's not much bigger than your finger, mate!" he laughed.

I was about to tell him to stop being so fucking rude, when his face
suddenly brightened and he said, "Since it's so tiny, d'ya wanna try and
shove it up me arse?"

"What, for real?"

"Yeah.  From how short and thin it is, it won't feel much different to
'avin' you frig me off."

I didn't need to be asked twice.

I undid my belt and yanked my jeans and briefs down around my thighs.  Then
I positioned myself right behind him so that my hips were level with his
cheeks, lining my purple bean-sized cock head up against his puffy arse
ring.  Before he could change his mind, I was working my five-inch boner
into him, loving the way he squirmed and gasped as my thin little pecker
pushed its way all the way up into his tight mud tunnel.

"Oh Jesus, I'm 'avin' me arse fucked!" he chortled, grinning up at me over
his shoulder.  "I'm gettin' bummed by another bloke's cock!"

I grabbed him by the hips and started driving in and out of him, gasping at
how amazing it felt to actually have my cock sliding in and out between
Tyler's big round cheeks.  I'd wanted this so many times I'd wanked off on
my own, and now here he was - bizarrely - bending over for me so I could
live out my fantasy of shagging him from behind.

"Oh God," I cried out, "this feels so fuckin' good!"

He laughed at that and said, "I didn't think much of it when I tried
bummin' that lass at Blackpool.  I didn't like the feel of it.  Seemed
weird somehow."

"Well, I fuckin' love it!" I gasped and started porking him as fast as I
could to make his cheeks wobble and ripple.

He laughed again but I could see from his face, craned round to look back
at me, that he was enjoying having my knob up him.  He was moving his body
in time with mine, pushing his bum back to meet every thrust of my cock.

I looked over at the reflection of me butt-fucking Tyler in the mirror
above the fireplace.  We looked so hot together - him bending over and me
standing behind him doing him up his big manly arse - and I wanted to grab
my phone to take a picture of the two of us like this.  Of course I didn't
- Tyler would have gone ape shit if I had - but it would have been nice to
have a shot of the time my best mate let me bum him, laughing and working
his hole against my cock as I grunted and gasped and pounded my hips
against his cheeks.

I reached under him and started wanking him off as I fucked him.  He liked
that - loved it, actually - and he moved his body upwards so that we were
both sort of squatting as we enjoyed having sex one behind the other.

I loved the feel of his big, thick dick filling up my hand and jerked his
foreskin rapidly up and down his rock hard shaft, hearing him gasp as it
swept across the mushroom head.

"Fuckin' wank it, fag-boy!  Wank my big knob off!"

He turned to grin at me and I grinned back at his enjoyment.  Then, without
thinking, I leaned forwards to kiss him on the mouth, but he pulled back,
horrified, and said, "No fuckin' gay stuff, dude!"

I kept wanking him and he moaned in contentment as I puffed and panted
against the back of his shoulder.

"I always wondered if you'd be up for givin' me a blow-job," he panted.  "I
never had the guts to ask you, though."

"Any time, mate," I gasped, "as long as I get a go on your arse!"

"I can't believe how much you like it!  It stinks to high fuck, worse than
takin' a dump!  It must be even stronger back there!"

"I love it," I muttered, struggling for breath as I slammed my cock as fast
as I could in and out of him.  "I love a nice stinky butt-fuck... it's even
better for me 'cause I've got yer arse all over my face!"

He laughed at that and we didn't say much else until we'd both shot our
wads.  I spunked off first, as deep inside his arse as my stubby cock can
manage, and my wrist going full pelt managed to get his massive bone-on to
start spurting all over it about ten seconds later.

As we cleaned up and I was spraying a bit of air freshener round the room,
he said, "That was well good that, Nick.  Way better than I might have
thought."

I was pleased with that.  I'd thought he might throw a pisser and walk out
in a strop.

"I was surprised by how much you liked havin' me finger up yer bum," I
said.

He shrugged.  "I've tried it before – on me own, like – so I knew it
felt nice.  I just don't like all the mess it makes.  I can't be arsed with
all the cleanin' up."

I smiled.  "And you were okay with gettin' yer arse fucked?"

"I can't believe I was, but yeah... it felt kinda nice," he grinned, wiping
the thick white gobs of spunk off his pubes.  "You're lucky yer dick's not
that big... there's no way I'd have let you do it if you had a cock like
mine."

"If you wanna do it again sometime..." I offered hopefully.

"Only if there's no minge on the go for me," he nodded.  "And only if
you're sure you won't see the two of us messing around together anything
serious.  I don't want anything heavy with you.  I'm not into dudes, you
know that, right?"

I nodded.  "Totally no strings, Tyler.  It's just a fuck between mates.
We're never gonna be boyfriends or anything... I'm not so stupid as to
think that."

"In that case, yeah," he grinned.  "I get a suck, you get a fuck, that's
the deal."

"Sounds good to me."

He pulled his boxers and jeans back up and I was going to say that my side
of the deal was that he had to promise he wouldn't call me any more homo
names when we were doing sex stuff together.

But before I could think of how to say it so it didn't sound like I was
already starting to demand stuff, he cut in with, "Actually, how would you
feel about lettin' my cock have a turn up your arse?"

"If it would fit!" I laughed, surprised that he would be interested in
trying that.  "But I thought you said you didn't like the feel of havin'
yer dick up someone's bum...?"

"Yeah, doing it to a woman.  It might feel different doing it to a bloke.
I wouldn't mind findin' out if you wanna let me have a go..."

I decided I'd drop the whole name-calling thing - this was just too good to
risk messing up by laying down terms and conditions.  He could call me
whatever the fuck he liked if it meant I got to have him on my back,
shagging me up the arse!

"Tell you what, Tyler," I replied.  "Next time you come round for a couple
of beers, I'll be the one who drops the bottle opener and has to bend down
to pick it up."

"Okay," he chortled, "how does tomorrow night sound?"

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