Date: Mon, 05 Oct 1998 12:32:15 -0400
From: djanus@hotmail.com
Subject: The Middle years

The Middle Years
by D Janus

Following the service years I began the civilian years by getting
married and having children just like all other normal young  men and
was content for a long time. During this period I worked in construction
and was earning good money but on occasion did have to travel in order
to do my job. I had been lucky and had become a supertiendent for a
large company and traveled around to get jobs started and to keep them
on track. During this time I would, on occasion ,run into homosexuals in
bars but for the most part didn't have any direct contact because I was
basically satisfied with my sex life at home. When I had been drinking a
bit too much and I ran into one I allowed myself to be seduced and would
wind up with a good blow job and that would be about he end of it, I
never thought of myself as having any homosexual tendencies because I
was married and had children. I did, however, each time I ran into a
homosexual think about Earl and those who in the past I had been with
during my service time. Me queer, not hardly I would say. But now as I
look back retrospectively I was probably seducing them more than they
were seducing me.

I am now sure that there were times when, I was traveling, I would
cruise the bars looking for those that seem to be what today would be
called a gay bar. I remember sitting on bar stools watching  guys pair
up and waiting for someone to begin a conversation with me. Sometimes I
would go to the head and when I finished taking a leak making sure that
someone saw the dick I put back into my pants. Today I can deal with the
reality of what I am much better than I did then. Now I know I am
bisexual and enjoy the male contact just as much as female contact but
it has taken years to get to this point. How did I get to this stage? It
wasn't very easy because of the old stigmas and prejudices that are very
much still a part of our world.  It took many episodes with many
different people to bring me to the point of acceptance I am now at. I
still live the very normal life with my children and my wife but I also
have the other side which is also very much a part of me.  Even now it
is difficult at time to deal with the fact that I enjoy men but I am
much more at ease with it than I have ever been.

After having been married for some seven years I began to want something
different. Everyone would tell me that after seven years you get an itch
for something different and a change of pussy would work wonders for
you. I would laugh and joke about the seven year itch but I really did
have an itch but not for pussy. I wanted another Earl, someone who would
go over my entire body with his tongue, rim my little ass and give me
all those good sensations as well as the great blow job. You have to
understand that at this time I didn't want to be any more active than to
lay back and let it happen. Well it did finally happen and with of all
people my insurance man. I didn't  know about him being gay because he
also had been married and had gone through a rather bad divorce. I ran
into him in a bar downtown one evening and we began to have a few drinks
together and as we drank he moved closer and closer to me so that fairly
early in the evening he was almost on top of me. When I went to the head
he also went and I am sure he got a good look at my dick and he made
sure I got a look at his. Anyway , as the evening progressed we had
quiet a bit to drink and he suggested that I drive him home since he was
drunker that I was. No problem, I would drive him home and then head for
my place.  When we got to his place he suggested that I come in and he
would show me some dirty films he had. So in I went to watch his films.
He set the projector up in his bedroom , telling me that was the only
wall big enough to show the films on. He started the films and as we
watched I began to get a real hard on and he began to rub my thigh. At
first I objected but then I knew that I wanted him to continue so the
next time he started I just let things progress He handled me very
carefully and did not try and kiss me on the lips but did begin to
nuzzle my neck and tongue my ear a bit and before long he had my clothes
off and I was laid on the bed and he was Earl, all over again ,for me.
His tongue worked miracles on my skin and every inch of my body was
covered. As he rimmed my little hole with his tongue and began to tongue
fuck me I knew I was going to cum and cum hard but he stopped and let
things cool down a bit and just gently rubbed my and every now and then
stroke my dick gently with his tongue. Finally he put his finger in my
ass just a tiny bit and began to suck my dick like it had not been
sucked in a long time. When I came that night it was the best cum I had
in a long time and I knew it had scratched my itch very well. That total
tongue bath was something that nothing else could replace and to this
very day it is still the greatest.  Once again I was an inactive
participant except for the enjoyable part of having my body used by
someone else. I was completely fascinated by the whole process and
always enjoyed watching the person jack off as they rubbed my body to
keep them hot but never assisted them in way except for giving up my
body for their pleasure as well as mine. It wasn't until much later in
life that I began to see the total selfishness of that type of thinking.
It would take time for it to change but I knew that the time was coming
when I would want to be an active partner just as I was with the women I
had been with in my time.