Date: Sat, 31 May 2003 14:42:10 -0400
From: Shadowlawn <mart6854@bellsouth.net>
Subject: My Birthday Gift

Last weekend I had the most erotic experience of my life. I just have to
share it with someone and maybe get some advice from some of you with more
experience. While it was happening it was very hot and a real turn on, but
it was only later with the addition of unexpected information that it
became something that will impact the rest of my life.

Before getting down to the event themselves you'll need some background
information. So here goes.

I'm 21, barely; my birthday was last Tuesday. As far as the world is
concerned I'm totally straight, I look and act the part and my guess is
that if anyone found out I loved sucking cock they'd drop dead with a heart
attack from shock. I'm 6'1", weigh a solid 204 lbs., with a defined, tight
physique. I have coal black hair, gray (almost silver) eyes, and a
masculine face that's more rugged than cute. I also have a 7" fat, cut
cock. While I'm not exactly an A&B model type I've never had a problem in
attracting girls and my guess is that the boys wouldn't mind a roll in the
hay with me either.

I grew up as your typical All-American boy, with one exception. I didn't
seem to have the burning desire to get into the panties of every girl I
met. It didn't dawn on me that I was attracted to guys; I guess my
subconscious just wouldn't let my mind go there. So it came as a big jolt
when I discovered that I loved sucking cock. It happened when I was 16. At
the time I was an Eagle Scout and out west at a Jamboree. I got real
friendly with a Scout leader from Idaho, a 26 year old married dude. He was
a real handsome guy, married with a couple of kids and as it turned out a
sex addict. I guess he saw or sensed something in me that neither I nor
anyone else had ever seen or felt before. To make a long story short,
before the week was over he'd introduced me to the pleasure of sucking his
big, thick club and drinking his hot, thick loads and nothing has been the
same for me since.

For months after the Jamboree I tried to convince myself that it was a
onetime thing, that he just had some inexplicable power over me and that I
really wasn't "that way." It was hopeless. Every time I'd jerk off (which
was even more frequently than before I'd gone to the Jamboree) all I could
think about was his big cock buried in my mouth, pulsing and spurting hot
cum down my throat. I craved more. I wasn't interested in romance or a
boyfriend (the thought of kissing and making out with another guy just
hasn't been a turn on for me) but I did want cocks and their cum.

I thought I'd go crazy. To complicate matters my life was anything but
loose. There really was no place for cock sucking. I lived with my mom and
younger sister. We are all members of a Southern Baptist church and born
again Christians {though as the years go by my sister, Ellen is less and
less interested, but keeps it quite around Mom). Mom and Dad were married
when they were both 19 and divorced when I was 7. They had been married 8
years and I think mostly happy. Dad had joined the Navy when he was 22 and
had decided to make a career out of it. From what I've learned Mom wasn't
real happy when he had to be out at sea, but no real problems developed
until she "found" Jesus right around the time I was 5 and my sister 1. She
wanted Dad to be born again too, but he wanted no part of it. He was
willing to let her do what she wanted and even to raise me and my sister up
in what he called "hocus-pocus," but it just wasn't for him. Things went
downhill from there and when I was 7, things just totally fell apart.

We were living in San Diego at the time. Dad was given a new billet in
Norfolk and Mom, my sister and I moved to Bradenton, Florida, where my
Mom's folks had retired. A divorce soon followed and after that we didn't
see Dad too often. He did visit whenever he could and he always paid child
support right on time, but it wasn't the same.

Mom never remarried, divorce was one thing, but in her mind remarriage
would have been breaking her marriage vows, something she said she'd never
do. For his part Dad married again, but apparently she was a tramp who
slept with as many guys as she could when he was out to sea. It took him a
few years to find out about her "boyfriends" but when he did she was
history and he didn't remarry again.

As for me I grew up in "Christ" as Mom would say and was more or less the
perfect kid. I did well in school, was a pillar of the youth group at
church, an Eagle Scout and a loving and devoted son. I dated girls, but
only girls who like me were born again, church going Christians. So you can
imagine my horror when I discovered I wanted to suck cock.

I was totally paranoid that someone would discover my secret (though I
don't know how they could since I never did or even tried to do
anything). I couldn't even talk to anybody about my problem. I mean my
pastor would have gone ballistic. I just continued the façade of the
perfect Christian All-American boy, but inside I was going slowly nuts.

Then I graduated from high school (not a public high school, a Christian
school). Everyone expected me to go on to college or join the service, but
I was afraid to do either, at least not for a while. Mom wanted me to go to
a Christian college, like Liberty University, Jerry Falwell's school,
because she hoped I'd become a preacher. I wanted no part of that, because
by that time I realized that I was gay and though I didn't know what that
would mean for my life I wanted to sort things out before I made any other
plans. I certainly didn't want to go into the service where I'd be
surrounded by thousands of hot young guys most of who would not be good
Christians and who would offer lots of temptation and the prospect of
scandal and disgrace. Instead I got a job (nothing special), just making
money and buying myself time to figure out what I was going to do with my
life.

Then one Sunday morning in the August following high school graduation we
had a guest preacher at church because our pastor was on vacation. He was
the assistant pastor of some big Baptist church in Tampa and the topic of
his sermon was the sin of sex outside of marriage. One of his main topics
of course was that most evil of all sexual sins, homosexuality. He was
making me half crazy with guilt and fear, but then he said something that
caught my attention. He shocked everyone in church by explaining to the
congregation that in Tampa there were dens of sex where sexual deviants,
both heterosexuals and homosexuals went to have illicit sex. He even named
a few. (I wondered at the time how he knew what was going on in such
detail, but that question didn't seem to occur to anyone else.) The sermon
certainly had an effect on me.

It didn't get me to give up my "wicked thoughts," but it sure made me
curious about the sex dens. All I could think about was that maybe there I
could indulge in my secret passions without anyone knowing about it. The
following Saturday I told my mom I was going to the beach (something I'd
been doing quite often because I enjoyed watching the men wearing nothing
more than bathing suits) and off to Tampa I went. It didn't take me long to
find the area near the Airport that the preacher had been talking
about. Being paranoid I parked my car a few blocks away and walked around
to make sure no one saw me, before I slipped in the door of one place and
discovered a cock sucker's paradise.  It took me no time at all to find the
booths in which they showed porno flicks and to learn the purpose of the
holes that had been cut out between booths. I managed to indulge myself and
make up for two years of hunger. Before I left two hours later I'd sucked 3
cocks and swallowed as many loads. After the third one had pulled back from
the hole I couldn't hold back any longer I pushed down the shorts I was
wearing, fisted by hard cock and sprayed a huge load all over the wall of
the booth I was in. Then I waited another 5 minutes before slipping out of
the booth and out of the place. I was guilty all the way back to Bradenton,
but for the next week I must of shot a gallon of cock juice reliving the
experience in my mind. Of course the following Saturday found me headed for
the "beach."  And so it went for the next few years.

At home I remained the perfect guy. Girlfriend, church, job everything
seemed ideal, but whenever I could I'd book up to Tampa, suck as many cocks
as I could until my own demanded relief. I wasn't interested in being
sucked, just sucking, I could take care of myself, the thrill was getting
the oral satisfaction of having my mouth filled with prime man-meat and
gulping down all the creamy white nectar I could coax out of them. That
brings us to last Saturday.

Mom had planned a big bash for my 21st birthday.  A backyard barbeque with
loads of people, mostly my friends from church and family. Even my dad, who
was now a Chief Petty Officer stationed in Mayport (outside of
Jacksonville) was driving down for the occasion and to spend Sunday with
me. My girlfriend and sister were helping mom with the whole shebang and
they didn't want me around since they didn't think the guest of honor
should have to work putting on his own party.  Since it wasn't going to
start until 5pm I decided I take the opportunity to go up to Tampa and have
a little party of my own.

Even after 2 1/2 years I was still paranoid that someone I knew might see
me, so I still parked my car a few blocks away and only went in the place
if I was sure nobody could see me. I was pleased to discover my favorite
booth was vacant so that I could go right in. It was the last one in the
row and had only one hole connecting to the only booth it shard a wall
with. (some booths had holes on both walls, which meant that if I was busy
sucking a cock someone in the opposite booth could watch me doing so,
something I wanted no part of)

I'd become a pretty sophisticated and discriminating cock sucker over the
past couple of years. I mean I no longer just sucked any cock that happened
to show up. I'd learned that if I was patient I could get just the best. I
wasn't interested in sissy meat, tiny peters or 50+ fat men. I would only
settle for guys who seemed manly, with good bodies and solid equipment. If
someone showed interest in sucking me I never sucked them; if they bent
down and looked through the hole I wasn't interested; if they didn't have
good bodies or at least six thick inches they were history. I know this
sounds shallow, but remember my only pleasure was in sucking cocks and in
my fantasy they were all attached to straight guys, so I figured I might as
well indulge myself and have only the best avaiable.

The first two candidates to come into the adjoining booth were losers. The
first stuck his finger through and began tapping so that I'd give him my
dick. I ignored him and watched the video. He left after a few minutes.
The next one, wanted his cock sucked, but it was only about 6 inches and
pencil thin, not to mention that his stomach stuck out more than his dick
did. Then I hit pay dirt.

This guy was obviously young, because even though I couldn't see his face
he was wearing a tee shirt, baggy shorts and flip-flops. His body was
obviously still developing, stuck for the time being between man and
boy. The one thing about him that was fully developed man was his cock. It
too was only about 6 inches, but it really big around, a real mouth
stuffer. I was on my knees watching him through the hole, and I don't think
he knew he was being watched.  He fed a couple of dollars into the machine
and the video lit up the booth. He then pulled the elastic waist of his
shorts down and hooked them under his balls as he started to stroke his
meaty shaft. That sucker plumped up in nothing flat and began dribbling
clear boy juice. I just had to get a taste. I watched for about half a
minute before I put my finger through the hole and tapped.

I think I scared the shit out of him because he jumped and tried to cover
his cock with his hand. He froze for a minute and then I think it dawned on
him what was going on. My guess is that he was a straight boy who'd come in
just to get his rocks off and that under other circumstances might not have
been interested in what I was offering, but hey he was horny and hard. Like
they say he was letting his little head do his thinking and before long he
was moving his hard cock toward the hole, reluctant but hard up enough to
give it a try. Once the head came through the hole I didn't give him the
opportunity to change his mind or back out. I swallowed that pole and gave
him the best hum job he'd probably ever had or dreamed of having. Too good,
because not two minutes had passed before I felt the thing swell even more
and then pump out a rich thick load of boy cream. He was moaning and
groaning so much that I was afraid we'd both get thrown out. Once I'd
swallowed every drop he wasted no time in pulling back through the hole and
stuffing his still rock solid hard on back in those baggy short. And then
he was gone. He didn't even wait for the video to end. I'm sure that anyone
who saw him leave couldn't miss the tent in his crotch.

I didn't have long to wait for my next prize. Even before I'd gotten off my
knees or the kid's video had run out another guy walked into the booth and
locked the door. I think he must have heard the kid's moans and figured
that this was a sure thing. He fed the machine a couple of bucks and then
dropped the shorts he was wearing to the floor.  He was also wearing a polo
shirt, and running shoes with short white socks, most intriguing to me was
the wedding ring he was also sporting (love sucking off married men). He
was already hard and his cock was a 7 incher, not as thick as the kids but
respectable, with just a slight upward curve (I really don't like too much
of a curve [hard to swallow through a hole] but this wasn't too bad). He
gave it a few gentle strokes and then without being invited just pushed it
through the hole.  I like a guy who knows what he wants and I was happy to
give it to him. I gave that slab of man a good working over and thankfully
he lasted a good deal longer than the kid had. I chowed down on that
sausage for a good 10 minutes before I heard him gasp and then feed me a
good-sized load. Unlike the kid he let me nurse on it until I'd sucked out
every drop and he'd gone limp.  I heard him say, "thanks, that was great, I
needed it bad."  I stood up to give my knees a rest.

The next three guys that came in were all losers. One was willing and had a
good body, but he had what I call a button dick. There wasn't enough of it
to really stick through the hole and suck on. The next one had to be 70
years old, his legs were like sticks, and his hands wrinkled and spotty and
worst of all his cock was a shriveled prune-like appendage. The third one
was more interested in me putting my cock through the hole and I wanted no
part of that.  It was just past 3:00 and I was thinking about leaving even
though I'd only had two cocks. I usually tried to do three before leaving,
but as the guest of honor I really couldn't be late for the party. Just as
I was about to haul out my own hard dick to take care of business I heard
the door to the next booth open and close and then the sound of the lock be
fastened. I figured it was worth a look and boy was it ever.

One look told me I'd hit the big time.  He was wearing a tight red tee
shirt that displayed an incredible torso. His pecs and six-pack were more
than apparent behind the stretched fabric of the shirt. He was wearing cut
offs that did nothing to hide the fact that he was packing heavy equipment
and his legs were strong and muscled. He even had great feet (I'm
developing a thing for feet) that were clearly visible in his sandals. This
guy was perfection and big (not fat) in every way.  I watched as he put a
$5 bill into the machine and went through the movies until he found one he
liked, a lesbian porno (now I've learned that most straight guys get off
big time watching two women doing each other, I don't understand why, but
this was proof positive to me that this hunk was totally straight). I was
mesmerized. Unlike most guys he didn't take out the family jewels right
away. He just stood there watching the movie, occasionally rubbing his
crotch. It was apparent that the video and the rubbing were having the
desired effect as the bulge grew almost obscenely.

At that point I didn't care if I even made the party at all, I just had to
have a taste of what was causing the bulge. I was afraid that maybe the
stud was one of those super macho straight dudes who wouldn't go for some
cock slut lusting after his tool, but I had to try for it. So even before
he'd made any attempt to release the monster from its confines I pushed my
finger through the hole and did the old tap, tap, tap routine. I thought at
first that he was either ignoring me or hadn't heard the tapping. He just
stood where he was still giving the growing package an occasional
rub. Then, just as I was about to tap again, only more forcefully he,
without turning, very slowly undid the top button of the cut offs, yanked
down his briefs and exposed the most incredible cock and set of balls I'd
ever seen on a man.

His cock was near to being ramrod stiff, sticking out a full 8 inches and
those balls were like pullet eggs, big, round and low hanging. At that
moment I wished for a camera, because I wanted more than just a mental
memory of the raw beauty. The cock was bigger around than the kid's had
been, with a head that can only be described as perfect. This cock and
balls set could easily have served for the model of the best of the dildos
that were for sale in the novelty showroom that you had to walk through to
get to the video booths. Then slowly he turned toward the hole, took a
couple of step forward and fed me this most ideal of male eqipment. I
worshiped it, there's no other way to describe it. I just plain idolized
it. I licked it, made love to it and finally sucked it like I'd never
sucked another cock. It seemed to be made for my mouth, as long and round
as it was I had no trouble taking it all in, never once gagging, never once
having any trouble in pleasuring it. I was in cock sucker's heaven and I
didn't want the experience to end. Though I'd never entertained the thought
of having a lover I knew if this man wanted me to spend the rest of my life
with him I would abandon everything and follow him anywhere. Whenever I
sensed that he was getting near to exploding I'd back off and just tenderly
run my tongue along the underside of this cock until I knew the climax had
subsided and I'd once again take it back into my mouth. He just stood there
and let me have my way with him. This went on for about 20 minutes and he
didn't seem any more anxious for it to end than I did, but finally I guess
he couldn't take much more and had to bust his nut, because he took
over. He began fucking my face, pistoning his meat in and out of my mouth
and throat, drawing his cock back until the head reach my lips and then
quickly plunging it back full length. It was totally erotic, I was so
worked up I thought I was going to shoot my load in my shorts without ever
touching myself and if it had lasted much longer that's exactly what would
have happened. Before reaching that point however he shoved it to the back
of my throat and just held it there. I heard him release a long, deep sigh
and then I felt it pulsing rapidly, once, twice, three times. I didn't want
it to finish without filling my mouth so I pulled back until the head was
resting on my tongue, a fourth, fifth and sixth spurt filled my mouth
allowing my taste buds to savor the full richness of his male essence. It
was the most intoxicating flavor I'd ever experience and I gulped it down
to allow room for more. I was rewarded with four more spasms, albeit, of
decreasing intensity, but enough to once again fill my mouth and I swirled
it around bathing the still firm shaft and meaty head in it's own juices. I
didn't want to let go, but finally, it returned to its flaccid but still
large size and he withdrew it from between my lips and back through the
hole. I felt empty, a void that I'd never be able to fill.  He quickly
shoved it back in his cut offs, buttoned up and left. I stood up, leaned
back against the wall; I released my cock, fisted it and within moments
blasted the most intense orgasm of my life. If I hadn't been leaning
against the wall I'd have fallen over. It took me a full three minutes to
catch my breath and regain my equilibrium. I looked at my watch, it was 10
minutes to 4:00. There was no way I was going to make it back home before
5pm.  Mom wasn't going to be happy, but hey I deserved the birthday gift
I'd just given myself.

All the way home I relived the pleasure I'd gotten from that magnificent
cock. I day dreamed of going back to the sex store and finding my horny
stud again, but knew there was probably little chance of that happening. I
promised myself if I ever found a guy with a cock like that again I
wouldn't be paranoid, I'd meet him and arrange to see him again. I
surprised myself thinking that if he turned out to be gay that I'd want to
spend the rest of my life with him. I tried to tell myself how dumb that
was, I mean I didn't even know what the guy looked like, he could have a
face that scared little kids, but I knew he didn't. I tried to convince
myself that even if he was gay I might not like him as a person, but I
couldn't quite pull it off. My cock knew better. It had stayed stiff during
almost the entire trip and if I hadn't been so late already I'd have found
a place to pull off the road and shoot another load. As I got closer to
home I forced myself to think of other things so that I could at least walk
into the party without embarrassing myself by having tented shorts.

It was nearly 5:30 by the time I turned onto our street. As I got near the
house I could see all the cars in the driveway, on the front lawn and
parked along the entire length of the short cul-de-sac where we live. I
recognized most of the cars and knew pretty much everyone had arrived. The
only car I didn't see, but hoped I would, was my Dad's.  Maybe at the last
minute he couldn't make it. That thought deflated my cock all the way.  I
found a place to park on the street and went directly around to the back
yard.  Mom was by the barbeque and when she saw me she flashed me a dirty
look to express her displeasure at my being late. I averted my eyes,
looking for my girlfriend. Instead I saw my sister close by and walked up
to her.

She was a pretty 17 year old and we got along real well, even if she was
the rebel I wasn't. She tolerated Mom and the church, but she'd told me and
Dad that when she finished high school she was going to go to New York and
get into the theater and I knew it wouldn't be long before she broke
away. I wished I had her guts. I walked up to her.

She smiled and said, "I'm glad you showed up, Mom was about to disown
you. What took you so long?"

"I got involved helping a friend solve a hard problem," I said, not exactly
a lie.

"Whatever, at least you're here, but I bet Mom let's you have it later."

"That's OK.  I see Dad didn't make it."

"Yes he did," she said.

"I didn't see his jeep."

"That's because he bought a new truck. He's in the kitchen flirting with
your girlfriend; at least he was a minute ago. Go say hello to him and let
them both know you made it."

I headed toward the house and walked through the sliding glass doors that
led into the kitchen. I hardly noticed my girlfriend. I took one look at my
dad and froze where I was standing. He was indeed flirting with her the way
horny sailors do with pretty girls, but he was leaning against the counter
and he was wearing a tight red tee shirt, cut offs and a pair of
sandals. The shirt and cut offs did nothing to conceal the true
magnificence of the body they were covering. I think Dad mistook my shock
for my being angry over his flirting with my girlfriend.

"Jeremy," he said, "hope you're not pissed, but I was just keeping Ellen
company until you showed up."

I tried to keep calm, but it wasn't easy. A thousand thoughts were running
through my mind. I managed to say, "I don't mind at all. I know she won't
fall for your charms."

He laughed and stood upright. "Do you suppose she'd mind if you and I had a
little chat in private?"

Ellen said, "no I don't mind at all. After all I see a lot more of him than
you do."

With that dad came over to me and placed his arm over my shoulder. A shock
of electricity surged through my body and I felt my knees getting week. In
a moment of panic I thought that some how he knew that I'd blown him.

"Let's go to your room where we can have some privacy."

I didn't say a thing, but allowed him to lead the way. For a moment I had
the wild thought that maybe he didn't mind and that we could do it
again. The fact that the cock of my dreams was attached to my father
suddenly didn't matter. I already loved him as my father; why not love him
in other ways too.

So I was expecting him to say that he knew I was in the other booth and
that I'd given him the blowjob of his life. Instead I was more than
surprised by what he did say.

"I've always loved you and your sister more than anything in this
world. Karen has her own goals and knowing her there is nothing your mother
can do to keep her from going off to New York. I'd hate to think of you
trapped here in this world that your mother has created for you or even
worse becoming a preacher, which is what I know she wants. Before you do
anything like that I think you should experience other things and see what
the world has to offer. Then if you still want to do that OK. I just can't
imagine a son of mine wanting to do that. So I have a little
proposition. Next year I'll have 20 years in the Navy and can retire on
full pension. I've put away some money and I was thinking that maybe you
and I could go into business together. I've been thinking of doing a
charter fishing business up in the Jacksonville area, but I couldn't do it
alone. I know you love the water and boats so maybe you'll consider it. You
could move up with me now, I've just rented a two bedroom apartment and you
could do your own thing and find yourself."

I didn't know what to say. The opportunity to move away from the situation
I was in was very appealing, but how would Dad react if he knew I sucked
cock. What if he knew I'd sucked his cock? Could I move in with him and not
put the moves on him, or maybe I could put the moves on him? He obviously
didn't mind getting a blowjob from a guy. How would he feel about getting a
blowjob from me? If I could live and work with him and suck his cock
whenever he wanted then I'd start packing, but... I didn't know what to do.

"Dad that is a wonderful offer and I'm not saying no. There's just a lot I
have to work out in my own mind. There are things that I can't talk to you
or anyone about. Let me think about it. Don't mention it to Mom. Before I
say anything to her I want to have my mind settled. At this moment I more
confused than you could ever imagine and I need some time to think
everything through."

"That's understandable. Just know one thing you can talk to me about
anything. There is nothing you could ever say or do, or even think that
could change how I feel about you. I only wish I could have been here for
you more often, but that's life and it's too late to redo what's been
done. I have an idea. I have some leave time coming, why don't you see if
you can get sometime off work and spend a week or two with me. That will
give you time to think, see how you'd like living with your old man and see
the opportunities for the kind of business I'm talking about. What do you
say?"

"I think that might be possible just give me a couple of weeks to sort
things out, I'll let you know."

"That's a deal."

Well that's pretty much the whole story. I don't even remember much about
the rest of the party. I moved around, talked to friends, ate, the usual
kind of things you do at your birthday party. My mind however was on the
prospect of living and working with my Dad and on the wonderful cock that
I'd sucked off while on my knees in a video booth.

I'm really not sure what to do.  Anyone have any answers? Is there a chance
I could have a sexual relationship with my Dad? Will he disown me? Am I
evil or a sick puppy to even think about such things? Is it possible my Dad
is bisexual? I just don't know the answers.