Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2004 22:31:01 +0000
From: steve <steve_z5@hotmail.com>
Subject: My secret gay life Part 1

The early years! If you want more then there is so much more to tell! email
me.

Age 12.
John was my best friend outside of school at the time. He lived seven doors
down the street in my Hertfordshire town in England. We was in his Dads shed
and John was attempting to saw some wood for a go-kart we were building, I
looked at him sawing away, his pretty face and full lips open and inviting
as he concentrated on his task. I stared at his lips and something new and
thrilling grew inside me, a desire to kiss his lips was almost overwhelming.

Age 13.
Mr Phillip was my French teacher and and in the boredom of my lessons I
looked at him constantly, something drew me to him and I had a warmth for
him deep down that I could not explain. It was not reciprocated at all but I
had a need of him and I did not know what that need was. On an overnight
School day trip to Boulogne we slept in bunk beds in a hostel, Fourteen boys
and Mr Phillp, I slept in my underpants but could not sleep, lying on my
front with my young erection painfully pushing against the hard bed. In a
semi asleep state I dreamed of Mr Phillip watching me in the dim moon light
coming through the window. I dreamed of standing in front of him naked, and
I came for the first time. a cum not equalled since, as I had not touched
myself and it ebbed and flowed for what must have been minutes.

Age 15.
Summer holidays were spent with my family in Gt Yarmouth and twice a day I
would excuse myself from the beach football and frisbee games and wander
along the pier, the thrill welling up inside as I approached the public
lavatory and locked myself in the filthy end cubicle  that had written on
the walls the most thrilling of words I had ever read in my young life. So
many different styles of writing but you could feel the excitement and the
desire in the hurried and shaky scrawls. I grew a deep hunger for cock in
that hot cubicle and the stale urine smell excites me to this day.

Age 18.
I was very interested in girls but too painfully shy and awkward to achieve
any success. After a very short spell at college I found a computer job at a
local firm. Stuck behind a terminal for 7 hours a day my imagination and
desires grew, I had a deep fantasy for an older man to take control of me
and make me kneel in front of him and suck his cock, my desire to suck cock
reached near fever pitch on some hot summer days but I tried to supress
these desires and I was deeply ashamed of them and I would masturbate
constantly to relieve this desire. I was considered a cute young man, 5ft
7inches nicely developed smooth body and a pretty blonde face. I also
possessed a pretty big cock of my own at about 7.5 inches and it was
impressively thick, I dreamed of a powerful older man with a big cock,
bigger than mine, meaty, suckable, full and with big heavy balls.

August 1985 was a hot month, and I was visiting a town centre toilet in my
lunch break to check for new stories on the wall and for another exciting
hit of the smell of urine, today there was a new message on the wall. Colin
28 with thick 8" cock seeks young cock suckers and there was a phone number.
I had seen many phone numbers on toilet walls before but was far too afraid
to call any of them but that day I wrote the number on my wrist. At 6:30
after work and with a pulse rate of about 150 I found a secluded phone box
and called the number.

"I.. I.. saw your phone number.. in the toilet in town"

"Oh yes"

"Well.. it sounds interesting."

"How old are you and what do you like?"

I told Colin I was 18 and it was my first time, and that I was not sure what
I liked, Colin was most interested in ascertaining if I was actually 18. He
also asked if I had sucked a cock before and would I like to suck his, I
said I would and asked him if he had a big one. He said it was bigger than
most and asked me if I would meet him at his flat at 9 o clock that night. I
was so excited! I wrote the address down and got directions, he lived 10
minutes from the town centre and  I was confident I could find it.

I could not eat when I got home. I just had a bath and changed into some
jeans and a clean t-shirt and then left my house to take a bus down to the
town centre and then walked and found the street I was looking for. I walked
2 sets of steps to number 24 the number Colin had told me and with a heady
mixture of excitement and fear I knocked on the door. Colin opened the door
immediately and smiled as he looked me up and down. He told me to come in
and asked if I wanted a beer, I said yes and took a big gulp immediately.
Colin was about 6'2 lanky with average looks, mousy brown hair and a thick
Birmingham accent, his flat was messy, low rent and quite dirty but I wasn't
concerned with any of that. Colin made small talk for about 10 minutes while
I finished my beer and then he asked me if I wanted to see his cock as he
must have noticed me secreting glances to his crotch since my arrival.  He
stood up and walked towards me and I stood too, frozen still with
trepidation. He unbuckled the belt on his worn dirty jeans and popped open
the button and unzipped fully revealing sky blue Y-fronts with a big bulge
to the left side. He pushed the jeans past his hips to his knees and said in
his thick brummie accent,

"Well go on if you want to" "It wont bite!"

I gingerly pulled open his pants and immediately out sprang exactly what I
had dreamt of! a big thick meaty cock! I gasped in delight, and gently
stroked it up and down and admired its size, it was definitely bigger than
mine, thicker and although uncircumsized, the foreskin was barely evident as
his meaty dry helmet, beautifully shaped, stared at me. It looked clean and
I could detect a faint brushing of talcum powder. I stroked it for many
minutes until I got the firm push down on my shoulders that I needed, I took
it greedily in my mouth and half surprised at not gagging with disgust, I
knew instantly that this was what I had needed all these years, Colin's cock
completely filled my mouth and I felt complete, full, and bathing in the
satisfaction of it all.

After about 20 minutes Colin asked me if I liked poppers, I had never heard
of them and asked what they were, Colin said that it was just a odour you
sniff to turn you on, he was very persuasive and made me take 2 long hits
one in each nostril, and it was just unbelievable. My already insatiable
appetite to cock suck was magnified ten fold and I seemed to turn into a
cock sucking machine, it was all I desired to be, Colins cock sucker, I had
found my place in life! each subsequent hit of the poppers just seemed to
re-inforce these desires time and time again until he pulled out and shot 4
or 5 heavy spurts over my cheek and chest. He told me to wank hard and to
cum, he gave me another hit of poppers just before I came and every nerve
ending exploded in waves of unbearable spasms and time seemed not to exist.
After I had recovered, which took about 30 minutes, Colin gave me another
beer which I again gulped down, I stayed for another 2 hours at Colins flat
greedily feasting on his cock and I left at about midnight with a guilty
disgust with myself that lasted for about half hour till I got home and
masturbated furiously again hungry for another adventure and another cock!