Date: Sun, 30 Nov 2008 09:59:18 +0100
From: A.K. <andrej@andrejkoymasky.com>
Subject: Neither Angel nor Hustler 10/11 (encounters)

----------------------------

NEITHER ANGEL NOR HUSTLER
by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2008
written on August 12, 1992
translated by the author
English text kindly revised by Acam

-----------------------------

USUAL DISCLAIMER

"NEITHER ANGEL NOR HUSTLER" is a gay story, with some parts containing
graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion,
family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better
not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't
care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my
welcomed guest.

-----------------------------

Tenth notebook

I went back home and put the shopping bags on the table. From under the
shower Hansel asked me, "Did you remember the eggs?"

"Yes, certainly. I got a dozen. Is that enough?"

"Perfect! I'll finish my shower and then I'll make the cake."

I unconsciously massaged my arse. It ached a bit - I had had to take a
bigger dong than ever before. Not long but disproportionately fat - just
one of the risks of the trade. The fact is that when soft its size
seemed normal. I could have refused that patron but I ought to have done
it beforehand - not after we had started. ... And ... a boy refusing a
patron already selected by the agency doesn't get a good name.

That guy came down on me without half measures, without worrying about
who was under him. Of course with such a cock that guy had to pay a boy
- who would have taken it of his own free will? Well, maybe some would
have... there are people for whom no cock is ever big enough. It would
not even have fitted into my mouth and yet it went into my arse... But
now it was aching and who knows how many days that would last?

Hansel came out quite naked and gave me a peck on the lips.

"Hey, you feel in a romantic mood?" I asked him amused.

"Yes. Under the shower I was thinking that you are really nice. That I'm
lucky to live with you. You know my brother likes you a lot too."

"I like him and Pieter too. Listen, either you dress or I undress then
we can start cooking."

"You undress come on. I don't feel like dressing."

We started to prepare the dishes for Hansel's birthday party. Our
friends were coming to have a meal at our place to celebrate it.

"Where the heck can we put all of them?" I asked him as I looked through
the list of the people he invited.

"They will have to sit on each others' laps - how else? So there will be
no problem at all." My friend answered giggling slyly.

The party went well. We were really crowded and several of them really
did have to sit on their lovers or friends and the consequence was not a
few comfortable fumbles but everything went smoothly and cheerfully. As
we knew he wanted a rather expensive camera we decided to club together
to buy his present. We bought him a very good Nikon with a full set of
supplementary lenses and an electronic flash and tripod. Hansel was
moved and wanted to use it at once. Zak asked him if he could shot some
pictures too and Hansel handed it to him. When everybody left Zak and
Jorge stayed to help us to clean up and tidy everything. Then about at
one in the morning they left too.

Zak offered to shoot some nude pics of me using Hansel's new camera so
we decided to do them in the next few days. That boy really has a feel
for photography; all his shots were very good in spite of not having
spotlights and all the usual stuff. I told him to talk to Higgins next
time he comes about his hobby .

+++++++++++++++

The day after his birthday Hansel and I had a day off so we slept almost
up to lunch time. Then we opened all the windows wide and we started to
do a spring clean of the whole apartment. I was changing the bag of the
vacuum cleaner when the door-bell rang.

"You go Hansel?"

"Alright." he answered.

I heard him opening the door then talk quietly. I couldn't guess who the
other voice might belong to. I was curious and about to go to see when
Hansel appeared at the bedroom door with an odd smile.

"I've had him sit in the kitchen. Do you want to go and talk to him?"

"Talk to whom?" I asked even more curious and I left the vacuum cleaner
and wiping my hands on the sides of my jeans I went to the kitchen and
my eyes opened wide with surprise - it was Giorgio! As soon as he heard
me coming in he stood up and smiled. But he looked extremely embarrassed
which was very unusual for him.

"Giorgio!"

"Nicola... forgive me for surprising you by coming without telling you
first..."

"You were lucky to find us here. We are usually at work by this time."

"I would have waited for you to come back..."

"What time did you arrive?"

"One hour ago at the airport. It was a direct flight. Then a taxi
here..."

We were standing there we hadn't hugged each other or even shaken hands
- nothing. We were both embarrassed. And yet I would usually have flown
to put my arms round his neck. Who knows why I didn't? Maybe it was the
oddness of his attitude that kept me back. Yes, his attitude...

"Is something wrong Giorgio?"

"No, why?"

"I don't know. You seem... different from usual."

"I'm feeling different from usual in fact."

"Are you sure nothing bad has happened?"

"Well... yes and no. Lot of things nothing special but..."

"Have a seat. Do you want a cup of tea? The coffee here is disgusting, I
don't even bring any home."

"Do you have something stronger?"

"Vodka?"

"Yes alright. Thank you."

"I'll keep you company. Have a seat..." I said pouring the drinks.

He sipped it and when he thought I was not looking at him he looked at
me. Then almost as if drawing breath strengthened by the liqueur he said
"My wife and I... we separated."

"Ah!" Why has nobody written to me about it? I asked myself. "And... was
it your decision or hers?"

"Well perhaps both of us... I don't know."

"Does she have another man?"

"No I don't think so. Not that I know of at least at the moment."

"Did you quarrel?"

"No never."

"Did she discover something about your past... or about your adventures
after you married?"

"No nothing."

"Then I don't understand it..."

"She and I were getting to be more and more like strangers to each
other. We both realized it. So we talked about it together and reached
the conclusion that it might be better to separate before our
relationship became too difficult and we hurt each other."

"But it might be just a temporary separation; you might get back
together..."

"No. We have started divorce proceedings. Moreover... I told her I'm
gay."

I looked at him with wide eyes "You... you told her... you're gay?"

"Yes, that's right. Just after we decided to get a divorce.

"But you always denied you were gay! You always said that yes you like
doing it with men too but that you are bisexual. And you are bisexual
fucking hell! What on earth was the sense in telling her such a thing?"

"Because over all these months I have become convinced that I'm really
gay. I agree I have no problems fucking with a woman but I prefer doing
it with a man - way more! It's useless and stupid to hide it from
myself. Maybe I could be bisexual but with a strong gay component. Let's
say 70 per cent gay and 30 per cent, if not less, straight. What do you
call someone like that? It took me a long time to realise the truth,
maybe too long but I know it's true now - I am gay." Giorgio concluded
stressing the last three words.

For a while we both kept silent. Then I asked him, "But you don't seem
really glad to have given up your marriage ..."

"No? But I am happy about it. I feel rather as if I've been let out of
prison now."

"It doesn't look like that. You look troubled... You don't seem at all
like someone who has just escaped. You look rather like a beaten dog."

"Yes, you are right."

"Well then what more is there? Don't you want to tell me?"

"To tell you the truth I came all this way with no other purpose than to
tell you but now... I don't know if you are going to listen to me. I
don't even know if I am going to be able to explain..."

"Well, here I am. We have always been friends haven't we? What is a
friend for if not to listen? Try it! Go on..."

Giorgio was squirming on the chair and seemed to be on tenterhooks. Then
so quietly that it was difficult to hear him he started to talk and
while he talked he averted his eyes from mine.

"I... I don't know where to start... Do you remember when you told me
you were in love with me? Well, on that occasion it was difficult for
you to start talking to me. And I told you that in my opinion it is not
easy for two men both to be friends and also to have sex together. Well
there was the exception of that long night in Venice but... they say
that the exception proves the rule don't they? I've always been certain
that with men I either fuck and I like doing that a lot or I'm just a
friend. And you have always been a really special friend to me. Beyond
any doubt, the best friend I ever had.

"Well, that night in Venice stayed inside me and got me worm-eaten. It
gradually ate up all my self-assurance. When I started to search for
some boys with whom to amuse myself after I married; after each fuck a
little voice inside me kept saying - but with Nicola it was different;
it was infinitely better. But why? Because it was not just a question of
a good fuck or of a beautiful cock or a beautiful arse or... With Nicola
there was something indefinable that made the most banal things special.

"I mean - it is really nice to have a firm hot cock in your mouth. But
having you in my mouth wasn't just nice. A nice soft welcoming little
arse, tight and eager, is for sure something exciting. But your little
arse that night in Venice was way more than simply exciting. I was not
getting just pleasure but something more precious something indefinable
that no other arse ever gave me. Being fucked in the arse by someone who
is really skilled can take you to heaven. But when you took me there in
Venice it was not just ecstasy... it was something more - a lot more.

"You see how this woodworm was torturing me. What had there been in
Venice that was so special? For sure Nicola is really good in bed I was
thinking. But some of the boys I had were really very good too. Then
there was a time when I thought I had found the answer - that the
something more was friendship. But then I said to myself in my confusion
that friendship and sex can co-exist and make intercourse more
beautiful. Well, yes I had to admit that. But I hadn't yet killed the
woodworm and it was still eating into me and consuming me... I had sex
with some more friends. Maybe you know about it... It was not so very
different from sex with the other boys or even with some of the best
johns from my past. But with my friends it was just a really nice time
with someone else. But with you in Venice... Well then I thought - what
can have made that single occasion in Venice so special?

"It took me some more time to come to understand what that was and I
only did so a few days ago. So I decided to tell my wife I am gay and we
started divorce proceedings and I asked the bar where I work for a
week's leave and came here to you..."

He became silent and looked at his shoes nervously grasping one hand in
a tight fist with the other. All through his speech I listened to him
with the utmost attention observing the smallest changes in the
expression on his face and noticing the inflexion of each word and of
each sentence and while his confession was progressing I gradually felt
my head buzzing and spinning and felt my temples beating more and more
strongly and my throat tightening too.

After a few seconds of silence I spoke with difficulty and asked,
"And... what in your opinion was that something that made our Venetian
night special? Do you know what it was? Have you really understood it
and realised what it was?

"Yes..." he exhaled - his voice choked with emotion.

"Well then?" I pressed him.

"It's... love." He almost whispered and finally his eyes looked for mine
openly.

"Love?" I echoed. I didn't understand what was going on. I wasn't sure
whether I was feeling more confused or more moved. "My love for you
or..." I prompted him again trying to keep my voice steady.

"Love, just love. I mean... your love for me and my love for you."

"You means that..." my heart was widening, warming and brightening...

"I mean that I'm the most shitty bastard of all the shitty bastards of
all creation including the aliens!" Giorgio said with some vehemence. "I
mean that I always loved you. I loved you from the first moment I met
you and I was never properly aware of it. I never wanted to admit it not
even to myself. I wasted months no years of my life... and of yours! And
perhaps... now that I've understood it - now that I've understood how
much I need you and I need your love and to give you my love... maybe
you have got tired of waiting. You might have found someone else; maybe
there is no room for me in your heart any more."

As he said this, Giorgio was speaking louder and louder and was almost
hysterical and ready to burst into tears as he finished. And he had sat
up straighter and pushed his chest out and seemed almost proud to be a
man.

He suddenly stopped and it was as if he deflated and his shoulders bent
down and he went back to looking at the floor. I was in a completely
confused state and he may have interpreted my silence and lack of
response as a kind of refusal or of coldness or of detachment.

He resumed talking very quietly as he had at first, "Of course I didn't
really expect that you would wait me for all this time. I couldn't
expect that of you, no. But... but I had to tell you. I had to ask you
for forgiveness. Yes, that's why I came here. I will leave when you want
- at once if you want me to."

"You had to tell me..." I asked still unbelieving (in my mind though my
heart already believed it) about that avalanche of words and of
emotions.

"That I love you. I have always loved you even though I didn't realise
it and even though I didn't know. That I regret I didn't realise it
earlier. And to ask you to forgive me... and if... and if..." and for
the first time since I had known him and that wasn't a little thing for
the first time I saw silent tears flow down his beautiful cheeks and a
mute sob shake his chest.

My emotion was reaching unbearable levels. My whole body was aching it
was completely screwed up by the sudden, unexpected and incredibly
strong emotion.

Keeping my voice level with even greater difficulty I pressed him "And
if..."

"And if you... if you chase me away; if I came too late; I will go. But
you must first forgive me... at least forgive me... forgive me..." he
repeated in a heart-broken diminuendo.

I then stretched my hand out on the table between us and touched his
tight fist contracted into a knot and traced over it with my fingertips
and squeezed it and with a sudden movement he turned his hand over and
seized mine and clung to it like a shipwrecked man.

With a weird voice that was hardly recognizable broken as it was by the
emotion that was trying to stop me I said, "But ... Giorgio... I have
always loved you. I have never stopped loving you not even for a moment.
I came up here to Amsterdam to try to forget you and to leave you in
peace and I came out of the love I felt and am still feeling for you but
it didn't work. I love you Giorgio. Yes I love you. I have nothing to
forgive you for because I love you. I love you more than anything in the
world... more than myself."

Giorgio seemed to collapse. He leaned his forehead on the back of my
hand still clinging his hand and gave free vent to his tears. I
stretched out my other hand and ruffled his hair and then I leaned over
and put my head on his and cried with him. At last we could let our
emotions flow out of us and freely flow away and the tension could
finally be relieved.

Without moving Giorgio murmured, "Then... would you accept my love?"

"Yes..."

"And... do you want to come and live with me?, Nicola"

"Certainly."

"Will you come to Italy with me?"

"I can't come immediately. I have to give notice... But I will come. I
will come as soon as possible."

"Oh, Nicola, Nicola, Nicola... if you knew how beautiful it is being
able to tell you - I love you. I was crazily afraid I would have to go
back alone without you and without your love... I was scared to death
believe me. How could you stand my refusal for all this time and go on
loving me and not go crazy?"

"It's... love that made that possible too."

Hansel came into the kitchen, knocking at the door to warn us. He looked
at us and saw our faces wet with tears and worriedly asked, "What
happened? My god, what happened?"

I smiled him in my tears and said, "Giorgio came to take me away..."

"Away? Why? What happened, then?"

"He realised he is in love with me... at last."

Hansel's eyes grew large and he looked at us unbelieving and then
brightened up gave a yell of joy and said, "But why are you crying? You
should dance with joy not cry! I was afraid some accident had happened!
And you are there like Mary Magdalene consoling Mary under the cross!
You should be in each other's arms held so tight that you could not get
a hair between you" Come on. Stand up and hug you silly boys!"

We did it at first moving almost as if in slow motion and then faster
and faster and really there wasn't room for even a hair between our
bodies. I could feel Giorgio's body sticking to mine and I felt his
warmth reaching me through our clothes and wrapping me like a cocoon. I
could feel his body shiver searching for mine and trying to cancel out
the distance between us and to make me understand better than with words
how much he wanted me. I felt his erection waking up and pushing against
me so strong and so sweet. I felt his arms holding me tight with
transport and passion and his hands searching me and feeling me. I felt
his sweet lips on mine open and his tongue searching mine...

Neither of us was conscious of Hansel's presence any more. And none of
us heard him going away on tip toe and putting on his jacket and going
out of the apartment silently after giving us a last heartfelt smile.

Neither of us could say how we got on the bed without any clothes left
on our bodies, entangled, united and our limbs intertwined. We were in a
trance - in ecstasy - in paradise. The bed welcomed us as if we were a
single body. We were stroking each other with our eyes lost in the
other's eyes and they were bright and filled with stars and our smiles
were warmer than the spring sun waking up the whole of nature and our
passion burned hotter than the summer sun.

We took each other again and again. We united in all ways. Feeling his
manly vigour invading me was so very sweet. Sinking into him again was
overwhelming. Without uttering a single word our bodies pronounced
complete orations to each other. With our members we wrote love poems on
the white sheet of our beloved one's body. With our bodies we sealed
endless love letters that we wrote with our glances, caresses, kisses
and hugs of our second wonderful encounter.

Hansel told us that he came back home a few times without our realising
he had - the first time two hours later, the second time three hours
later still. Then he left a note for us on the kitchen table to tell us
he was going to sleep at a friends' house. Wasn't Hansel sweet? We found
his note only late at night around two o' clock that is about eight
hours after our first embrace. Feeling hungry we ate and then went back
to bed and started to make love desperately again.

+++++++++++++++

The following morning I had to leave him to go to Higgins'.

"You really have to go love?"

"Yes, it's work. But we will meet soon..."

"I'll be longing for you do you know? Now that I know I'm in love with
you and that you are in love with me, each minute without you will be
never-ending."

"The day will come when you will feel the seconds spent with me are
never-ending you'll see!"

"I really don't think so you know? No, I absolutely don't think so."

I leaned down to give him a little kiss but he captured me and it was a
long kiss full of desire. I had to wriggle away and run before I
surrendered to the temptation to undress again.

When I got to Higgins' Hansel seemed surprised to see me.

"I was already planning to excuse your absence by telling them you woke
up with a fever..."

"I really have a fever." I giggled while I was undressing to take a
shower.

Hansel was somewhat worried and put a hand on my forehead.

"No, not that kind of fever. Another kind!" I said

He then smiled and nodded with a thumbs up and a conspiratorial air.

"And thank you for last night my friend," I said getting under the
shower.

"My duty... and my pleasure." he yelled to me.

That day I was so radiant that practically everybody asked me if by
chance I was in love. I answered yes to everybody without explaining
anything. Then they tried to find out from Hansel but he with a blank
face said he knew nothing. Work seemed to last for ever and luckily I
didn't get an external call so I could go back home. Hansel came back
home with me.

I found Giorgio still in bed but fully awake and as naked as I left him.
When he saw Hansel he made as if to cover himself but my friend said,
"No, don't bother; I'm going to undress too. In this house we are used
to spending more time naked than dressed. In your home in Italy it was
like that too wasn't it?"

"That's true; it's just that I wasn't used to it any more."

"Mmhhh, you're a splendid man. My friend Niki really has very good
taste. And... judging it now that it's soft I understand why your
nickname was Stallion."

"No Hansel it was not so much for its size," I chipped in while I was
undressing like him "but on account of how he uses it!"

Giorgio protested, "You are making me as red as a tomato, you two!" and
he really blushed a little.

++++++++++++

Hansel let us use the apartment for the whole time Giorgio stayed in
Amsterdam ("I will have too much room when you take Niki away!" Hansel
answered to Giorgio's protests). I discussed at length with Giorgio
about our future. He wanted me to leave my job.

"I'm no angel so I can't tell you what to do. I did it and enjoyed doing
it too... But I would like us to be enough for each other, do you see?
During the day while you were at work I found that I felt jealous of
you... If you want to go on anyway ... I can't certainly insist on
anything. I only want you to be happy my love."

"No, it would not be a burden to give it up I'm sure. But I'm not able
to do anything else you know ..."

"You could work as a barman with me... You would earn less money but it
would be enough to live on. I have become rather good at it and I could
teach you."

So, we gradually came to an agreement about everything.

I had given notice to Higgins and had to work for two more weeks.
Giorgio had to go back to his job in Italy. I would take advantage of
the time he was away to go round and see all my friends to say goodbye
to them and settle all my affairs (while Giorgio was with me whenever I
was free I was with him at home; I spent all my free time with him). I
would then go back to Italy and to begin with I would go back to the
apartment with Zio and the other friends and stay there until Giorgio
and I could find some independent accommodation. Giorgio had left the
apartment he had shared with his wife so he was temporarily living at
the house of one of his former johns (but not in his bed he assured me).
We would put together all our savings and try to get the management of a
bar just to get started.

+++++++++++++

The person who said farewell to me with greatest affection (though it
would be difficult to put my friends in their order of merit) was Gigi.
His sincere joy when I told him about Giorgio and me was proof of how
affectionate he was to me. Hansel had agreed with Zak that when I left
Zak would take my place. I called Gilmar to give him the news, and he
expressed his joy for us and burst out into a kind of Indian war shout.
He told me that everything was going on really fine with his Jean Luc
too and that they were still absolutely in love and it was always great
making love to him. He wanted to fix a day for Giorgio and me to go to
their place to meet his Jean Luc. Also Pieter and Jan were delighted for
me.

Jan said, "When one is happy to be together as Pieter and I are, knowing
that another happy couple exists warms our hearts, believe me. I wish
you to be at least as happy as Pieter and I are."

Finally everything was ready. Sean took me to the airport in his car and
I went back to Italy. Giorgio was waiting for me at the airport with a
present - a white gold ring with two small solitaires set on it.

"They are you and me - united for ever." he told me.

I kissed him (a small quick kiss) there in the hall in the middle of all
the passengers and he blushed in a really nice way. He wasn't on his
bike because he knew I had a lot of luggage so he took me by taxi to the
apartment where Jimmi and Sparrow were waiting. They made a great fuss
of me. Then Mauro came home from his school, and later MemŽ and Zio came
home too.

Zio suggested Giorgio move here too - Sparrow could go and sleep with
Jimmi and Mauro so we could have a room for us two alone. Sparrow agreed
at once. . Giorgio agreed too and said that the very next day he would
start to move his belongings. I was really happy. When we told them
about our plan to find a bar to manage, Zio told us that if we needed a
loan he had a good nest-egg at the bank and he would willingly lend it
to us. Giorgio thanked him but said we would just try to do it with
means of our own.

Later Jimmi in private told me that he found Giorgio remarkably changed
(for the better) - more self-confident and more manly - more responsible
and less "middle class". And also more peaceful and smiling than usual.

"Even more beautiful." he concluded.

I thought that I really hadn't ever met anybody as beautiful as Giorgio
but then asked myself if it was not just my love that made me see him as
beautiful. He really is beautiful - that's undeniable - but perhaps for
other people he isn't the non plus ultra the way he is for me. I was in
love with Giorgio as a person but I also loved the smallest part of his
body - his nose, his lips, his eyes, his hair, his hands... well, of
course also his cock and so on.

Who knows why it seems so romantic to say that someone has wonderful
eyes but not so romantic to say he has a wonderful cock? When I think of
Giorgio's cock I think of it as terribly romantic. It's not just an
anatomical detail or a tool for pleasure - it's a beautiful and
expressive part of him like all the others. But maybe only someone who
is really in love would understand me.

+++++++++++++++++

On the street I met Giorgio's ex-wife. I couldn't avoid her because she
saw me first and called me.

"You came back." she said.

"Yes."

"For Giorgio I guess." she said, but without any mocking tone in her
voice.

"Y... yes."

"I see. He told me he was in love with you. Well, I wish you the best of
luck you two."

I then asked her "No ill-feeling?"

She looked at me somewhat surprised "No, really not. Well, I regret it
for myself as I chose the wrong person. But I will make a new life for
myself. I know that Giorgio was convinced about what he was doing when
he married me. He has not been bad with me. And it's not your fault if
you two are... as you are."

I nodded, even if in these last words I detected a hint perhaps an
unconscious one, of prejudice.

+++++++++++++++

While we were waiting to find a bar to manage, Giorgio persuaded the
owner of the bar where he works to hire me as an apprentice. So I
started working behind the counter. I noticed with what eyes the women
patrons and even some of the men looked at Giorgio - undressing him in
their fantasies this not only didn't bother me at all but rather made me
proud about my man.

At first my job was mainly washing the glasses and cups and taking
refreshments to the tables. Then gradually Giorgio taught me to make
coffees particularly cappuccinos (the ones with the heart made with foam
that I always admired so much) and sandwiches and plenty of other things
and the tricks of the trade. In a few months I was able to do almost
everything and Giorgio was very proud of me of his boy.

We have not yet found separate accommodation and we're sorry to be a
burden on our friends but they absolutely refused to listen to our
apologies. They are always so kind to us!

Mauro is getting to be even more handsome and he is doing well at his
school. He has a few johns all of them steady with whom he is at ease
and who allow him to earn what he needs so that he isn't a burden on the
others especially now that Abdel has moved back to Morocco with his wife
and children and can't give him a hand with money any more. Mauro still
isn't involved with a lover but he says he doesn't want one until he is
finished with his studies.

Sparrow has a good turnover of johns as is demonstrated by his
first-rate wardrobe. Without losing his usual good humour he has become
more serious and staid. He retains his urchin's air - a little free and
easy - that makes him so nice (and attractive). Also physically he is
less ephebic than before; he is becoming a man. At home the habit of
going around naked hasn't changed so Giorgio and I do it too. I think
that Sparrow has got half a crush on Jimmi but he has never hinted to us
about it. Amongst us we are discreet about each others' personal
feelings. Somehow it has always been like this. What somebody tells us
and has put in common can be discussed but no-one interferes in anyone
else's business. This is the only way it is possible to live comfortably
together in a large group.

Zio and MemŽ are the mainstay of our home; they are now inseparable.
They both have a very good group of johns, especially Zio who is really
skilled. Zio goes in for his love for reading and he even influenced
MemŽ (who by the way has stopped stammering almost completely). He also
cherishes his dream that one day he will be able to open his own
bookshop with his boyfriend. It's curious how we can't talk about just
one of them alone any more but now always include both of them (Zio and
MemŽ said... MemŽ and Zio did... and so on). Also MemŽ has become more
of a man; he kept his looks and the gentleness of his behaviour. We are
all growing up; that's natural.

Jimmi overcame his exhaustion. He still has plenty of johns but they are
down to a more reasonable number. He selected the best of them as Zio
advised him to. Amongst them there is Fulvio who is always fine. His son
doesn't live in Italy any more as he has found a job in London - one
less problem. This separation will do Fulvio good. Renato is also
amongst his steady johns and keeps on asking him why he doesn't try to
become a dancer (as he says Jimmi has the right body) but Jimmi is
really not interested at all.

+++++++++++++++++

We had an unexpected stroke of luck. The husband of the old couple
living on our landing died and the old woman decided to go and live with
her daughter. So their apartment has become vacant. Giorgio went to see
the landlord at once and signed the lease. It's a small apartment with
two rooms and a kitchen. It's ideal for a couple (without children as
Sparrow jokingly specified). So with the help of our friends we cleaned
it thoroughly (god, how filthy it was!). We redecorated it and furnished
it with a few pieces (simple and not expensive but functional). So at
last we have our home but next door to our best friends. (As Sparrow
pointed out, "... and so this building is now inhabited only and
exclusively by faggots!") We also have a king size bed at last instead
of the two single beds just put side by side as they used to be and it
is way better for making love.

Each time I make love with Giorgio (that is about once a day) I'm amazed
how great it goes on being. After all inside myself I feared that sooner
or later routine would take over (but I would have resigned myself to
that). Instead, at least so far, nothing has changed even though we have
been living together for months. Being near Giorgio and desiring him is
just the same thing and as we are together practically twenty-four hours
out of twenty-four (that is both at home and at work) this means that I
desire him non-stop (and he desires me) so that as soon as we get to be
alone we make love. In other words so far it is quite seldom that we
have made love at bed time.

Giorgio is really an exceptional boy from all points of view. Apart from
when we make love and I call him stallion because he really is (and he
calls me colt, just to square the accounts or rather he says "my little
colt" or something like that) just talking to him and doing things with
him is always a real pleasure. He is really patient with me and he is
still teaching me plenty of things. How he managed to become such a
perfect barman (amongst other things) remains a mystery to me. That is,
it's not really a mystery, as I know he's really intelligent. (At this
juncture Sparrow would say that "to the sow her filthy piglets seem
beautiful" to pull my leg. To me my "filthy piglet" seems incredibly
beautiful and fascinating and so on...)

++++++++++++++++++++

After ages I finally met Gilmar again. He invited us to Geneva to spend
the Christmas holiday with him so Giorgio and I went when the bar was
closed for three days.

We got a wonderful welcome, from Jean Luc too, who is really a
remarkable person. At first he seemed a little cold and very reserved
but then when we got to know him better you could see he is a really
open-minded and generous person. We could easily see Gilmar is really
important to him - maybe even the most important person in his life. So
our friend is really well suited with him. Gilmar started to study
languages again and it seems that he is getting on rather well.

During our short stay I got to see Jean Luc's body as there is a heated
pool in the villa and it was a real surprise. He evidently looks after
it very well and it is perfectly proportioned. His clothes don't do him
justice although they are elegant. When I told him so he just smiled.

He said, "It is good this way. Other people should not be interested in
my body - it is reserved for my Gilmar." (Gilmar in Brazilian is
pronounced Jiuma, but Jean Luc pronounces it in the French way, Joumˆ).

We ate Christmas lunch with Jean Luc's family and I noticed that
everybody really treats Gilmar like one of the family.

+++++++++++++++++

In February Gigi came to visit us. He was rather depressed because Sean
left him. It seems that Sean had had a secret relationship with another
boy for some time. Gigi suspected something when although Sean still
made love to him he seemed to be doing it in more and more hurry and
more and more mechanically.

"Almost as if I was a john he didn't like." Gigi explained to us.

So he tried asking Sean what it was that wasn't working.

"Why?" Sean asked him.

"Because when you make love to me, it is as if you just wanted to come
as quickly as possible to put an end to it. I don't feel you are as warm
and full of desire as you were any more. Moreover it used to be you that
was always looking for me, Now on the contrary you only do it with me
when I take the initiative. I would like it if you at least once in a
while took me when I wasn't expecting it and you pulled down my trousers
and made me yours."

Gigi thought he had spoken clearly and logically. He said that the day
after when Sean came back home after he had been to the barbers and Gigi
was washing the dishes Sean got behind him held him against the sink
without saying a word, roughly pulled down Gigi's trousers and briefs
and opened his fly pulled it out and fucked him without even preparing
him with some saliva. Every time Sean was ready to come he stopped for a
little to avoid his orgasm and then resumed fucking him violently. Sean
went on like that for rather a long time until Gigi asked him to stop.

"You wanted it. Don't forget you asked for it!" Sean dryly answered and
closed his fly and left Gigi there half undressed unbelieving and sad.

In spite of that Gigi was holding on for his love though it was sore was
still alive.

Until one day Seam said to him out of the blue, "I think it would be
best if we stop living together."

"Why?" Gigi asked him unbelieving.

"I don't want to talk about it." Sean cut him short, packed his things
at once and went away.

We put him in the same room with Sparrow to sleep. We all did our best
to cheer him up. From what I know Sparrow did more than the rest of us
as he spent almost every night in Gigi's bed. Gigi got on so well with
the boys that when it was time to go back to Amsterdam he asked them if
he could come and live with them. Zio asked him if he wanted to find a
job and Gigi said that he would like to start hustling and to find johns
with the boys' help. They discussed it with Gigi (and he discussed it
with me too) but he was convinced and determined so in the end everybody
agreed and, by the end they were even a bit enthusiastic about it. So
Gigi just called the shop in Amsterdam to tell them he wouldn't go back
to his job there and he was dismissed.

It didn't take Gigi very long to get a good portfolio of johns. He is a
really nice and handsome boy. He seems as merry and relaxed now as he
was when I first met him though he is smartened up. Just to think that
when I first met him he was a teenager convinced he was straight and
even had a girlfriend and now thanks to my initiation he is a gay
hustler: self-assured and happy - and that always gives me a certain
feeling of amazement. And yet by now I should not be amazed about
anything after all the amazing situations I have seen.

When Gigi has a problem with one of his johns however small it is he
always comes to ask my advice because he says I am the one he trusts
most "his faith in me is boundless" as he says.

++++++++++++

Hansel wrote to me and told me that Zak and he have become lovers though
they both still work at Higgins'. He also said that Zak is trying to
paint pornographic pictures that are also artistic.

"Who knows why artistic pictures always show nudes seldom with a hard-on
but never two men having sex? And yet there is nothing more beautiful
and poetic than the coupling of two men especially if they also express
love. An arse receiving a cock, or a cock slipping into a mouth can be
just as beautiful and poetic too - even sublime?" he wrote.

I replied that I totally agree and that I would really be glad to see
the results of Zak's research, as he is in my opinion a really talented
boy.

-----------------------------

CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 11

-----------------------------

In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to
read them, the URL is

http://andrejkoymasky.com

If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English
translations, so that I can put on-line more of my  stories in English
please e-mail at

andrej@andrejkoymasky.com

---------------------------