Date: Mon, 03 Apr 2000 03:04:50 -0500
From: elliot c carson <rad_18@mailcity.com>
Subject: nervous as hell, part 1

<I guess you have to be over 18 to read this, but that's up to you.  Any
comments, please send to rad_18@mailcity.com; I would love to hear them!
Aslo, please don't distribute this anywhere else (copyright stuff and all
that jazz).>

I thought we could all relate :)

Nervous as Hell, Part 1

	I was scared shitless!  I must have turned my car around at least
three times before I finally summoned up the courage to drive downtown.  My
throat was dry and despite the five gallons of antiperspirant I slathered
under each armpit, I was sweating like crazy.  My underwear was probably
soaked in sweat as well.  I must smell like some dog locked out under a hot
sun, so I might as well turn back, this time for good, I reasoned to
myself.  But another voice spoke up within me, and despite the fact that it
was soaked with fear, it managed to blurt out , This is the only chance you
are going to get in a long time!  It has to be tonight!

	And before the opposing side could counter-attack in my head, I
found myself parked two blocks away from the bar, the engine shut off, with
only the sound of the rain to accompany the earthquake tremors of my heart.
I hung my head for what seemed like an eternity, trying to clear my mind,
calm my fears.  What if someone sees me?  What if I run into one of my
friends?  Of course I have already been through this argument a trillion
times in the past few hours.  They would have as much to explain as I
would! was the logical answer.  Logic, of course, can barely swim in a sea
of fear complete with tidal waves of doubt.

	It had to be tonight.  My parents left early this morning for a
long weekend together at the cabin, and I was expected to join them
tomorrow evening.  I told them I already had plans to go out with my
friends tonight, that it was my friend, Marc's, 18th birthday, and I could
never miss such an important night as that, now could I?  In reality, it
was Marc's birthday last weekend.  Actually, he, along with the rest of my
friends, thought I left with my parents.  It was all a clever ruse to get
the place to myself for just one night.  My original plan was spend it in
front of my Dad's computer, surfing the web and checking out all the gay
porn I possibly could in fifteen hours.  I had it all prepared - a virgin
box of Kleenex, a half bottle of hand lotion, an old towel to put
underneath my Dad's chair.  After all, it's pretty rare to jerk off
 to naked pictures of guys screwing like animals when you don't have your
own computer and are as paranoid of being discovered as I am!

	The minute their car left the driveway at 10 am this morning, I was
in the den, my pants left somewhere in the hallway, my white Calvin's
barely containing my raging hardon as I booted the computer.  However, when
I got up to collect my Kleenex and stuff while the Windows logo was
stretching it's fifteen seconds into seemly fifteen hours, a super horny
thought nearly floored me :

	What if I snuck into a gay bar tonight?

	Just the idea caused my heart to jump into warp speed and my dirty
imagination to overflow with positively randy scenarios.  I feel to the
floor just in front of the door to the den, yanked down my Calvin's and
jerked my titanium-hard cock only half a dozen times before spraying cum
everywhere!

	When I came to, I felt my cum on my right cheek, my chest, in my
belly-button, and all over the back of my right hand, which was still
gripping my hard dick.  Even though I just blew one of my best wads, even
though I was still reeling a bit from the force of my orgasm, my hand -
knowing only that it had a hard dick in it's grip - instinctively began
stroking again.  My cum was providing a fantastic lubricant.  Without
thinking, my left hand wiped the splat on my cheek and smeared it on my
slightly parted lips.

	Holy SHIT!!!  My mind screamed.  I was never able to, in my nine
years of jacking off, have been able to remain horny enough to eat my own
cum, even though I have tried to force myself time and time again.  Seconds
after my tongue encountered that smooth, salty, chlorine- like taste, did
my second orgasm hit me.  "Holy fuck!"  I instinctively shouted out loud, a
first as well, since I had years of practice suppressing my moaning.  Only
two shots came out, but my balls and muscles continued to pump for what
seemed like an eternity before I finally lay in utter, fantastic, fucking
supreme peace!

	I must have a pretty fucked up sight!  A "wholesome", good-looking,
just a month past eighteen-year-old boy, sprawled on the floor, half way
between the hallway and the den, with cum all over him (and God knows what
else it splattered on), and the biggest, dreamiest grin that his face could
hold.  I never felt so great in my life!  My dick softened slightly, and
was still in my now slimy grip.

	I was lost in that dreamland just after the greatest cum of your
life, when the idea presented itself to me again.  My dick wanted to get
fully hard again, but not even an eighteen-year-old can have three massive
orgasms in a row.

	Why not?  I thought, completely safe in that cloud world that I was
currently floating in.  After all, no one is expecting you to be home
tonight, never-the-less in the city!  It's perfect!  I could finally
fulfill my fantasy of being with another guy!  I must have dozed for about
half an hour and dreamed about the possibilities before being summoned back
into a consciousness by my once again hard cock.  Again, it only took a few
strokes before I dribbled out some mostly-clear fluid.  With my balls
aching slightly, I finally got up and cleaned up the place.

	Even with my horniness satisfied, the idea would not go away.
Fuck, even with the soreness in my balls, my cock never fully went limp.
The idea was lodged into my mind, much like that feeling when you know
something that is so astounding, so profound that you are actually afraid
to find out that it really is true.  And as the hours passed, the
nervousness grew, until I was shivering with just the idea of acting on it.

	And before I knew it, here I was, parked far away enough from
"GoodThing" gay bar that my car could not be associated with the place if
discovered.  Here I was, slightly calmer after reviewing the day, somewhat
amused that the car windows were completely fogged up with the rain and my
nervous panting that if anyone did stumble upon my vehicle, they would
wonder what was going on in here!

	With what seemed to be a final breath before jumping off the high
tower at the pool, I opened the car door, and stepped shivering into the
rain.

Part two coming soon!

rad_18@mailcity.com