Date: Fri, 29 Sep 2000 09:07:23 -0700
From: Jarrad L Lightfoot <j-l-foot@juno.com>
Subject: Opening a Door

	This is a true story about my first gay experience.  But, since it took
place some time back, a few of the details may have been exaggerated
because the passage of time has blurred them, or I exaggerated them to
gloss over the non-exciting things and make it a little more interesting.
Either way, the events actually happened.  In some ways it's a
description of a gay rape, or at least a forced seduction.  So, if you
are not over 18, or if you find that kind of man on man sex offensive,
leave now.  If you like it, send me a note and tell me about it.



	My first gay experience happened when I was 19 years old.  I was 6' 4",
210 lbs, pretty muscular, but even with that, a little overweight.  And,
in many ways I was very innocent.   It happened when I went into a
hospital for tests.  For about a week, I'd been feeling faint, so the
doctor wanted me to have some medical tests done.  To save time and to
get them done in a day or so, I was admitted to the hospital.  Most of my
tests were scheduled for the next day, so my first night there I was
pretty nervous about what was going to happen to me and wondering if it
would hurt.  When I didn't get to sleep soon, one of the nurses asked if
I'd like a shot to relax me.  I told her I really didn't like shots, but
I didn't want to be up all night, so -- ok.  She said the night nurse
would be in with it in a bit, since it was the 11:00 pm shift change and
she was leaving soon.
	I was still wide awake at 11:30, when the door opened and a male nurse
walked in, holding a metal tray with a syringe. He smiled broadly when he
saw me, which I assumed was from him just being friendly.  After some
small talk about my tests and how long they would take, he asked me to
roll over so he could give me the injection.  I bitched some about taking
shots, but I finally rolled over.  He pulled my gown apart and grabbed
one of my ass cheeks.  He squeezed it and massaged it, but I assumed it
was to numb my ass, to lessen the pain of the shot.
	Like I wrote above, before this I'd never had an experience with a man,
never even thought of it, other than an occasional peek in the showers
after gym.  As he rubbed my ass, I was kinda shocked that I liked it.  I
think I must have squirmed some.  Maybe I even moaned softly as he
massaged my ass, I don't know.  Either way, as I now think back over it,
I must have done something to send a signal to him, because he squeezed
and manipulated my ass even harder.
	"You've got a nice butt," he said.
	I really didn't know what to say, so I just muttered, "Thanks."
	"It's clear you work out and stay in shape."
	"Thanks, again.  I try."
	The nurse pulled a handful of ass cheek up and continued to rub it
softly.  It felt damn good, the way he was squeezing me, or as I see it
now, with the help of  hindsight, the way he was fondling me.  One of his
fingers slipped down some, toward my ass crack.  That was exciting and I
inadvertently spread my legs, just a slight bit.
	"Oh, you like that?"
	"I didn't mean to move," I told him, sounding very sheepish.  "Sorry."
	"Don't be sorry.  I didn't mean to frighten you, but I have to do this
so I can give you the shot."
	Frighten me?  I wasn't going to let him think he scared me.  "You didn't
scare me."
	"Good, I just thought that I might have shocked you and that was why you
moved."
	"No, well..."  I wasn't quite sure what to say, so I just lay there.
But to avoid looking like I was shocked, I left my legs apart.
	It was then that I noticed he stopped and pulled the curtain closed, to
put us in privacy.  I should have know right then something was going to
happen, but I didn't.
	"You know, if you want to relax without getting a shot," he said holding
up the needle, "I can do something other than this shit."
	I laughed and said, "I don't like shots, so what do you have in mind.?"
Stupid me, I had just showed him how naive I was.  His finger moved a bit
farther down my ass crack.
	I shuddered, let a little gasp out.   My girl friend had done that many
times and even fingered my ass during sex.  And, I loved it.  So without
thinking, I opened my legs a little more.  His finger found my asshole.
He rubbed his fingernail around my opening, teasing me.  I groaned with
pleasure.  Then, with one push, he was all the way in.  He must have
found my prostate, because a wave of electricity shot through me.  I
suddenly got a tremendous hardon.  Shit, it felt good.
	"Do you like this?"
	Without thinking, I rolled over onto my back.  "Yeah," I gasped.  "It's
good."
	"Let me make you relax."
	I didn't say anything.  Then he pulled my hospital gown back to reveal
my cock, which was standing up like a light pole.
	Now it was his turn to moan.  "Now, that is nice," he said gruffly.
	I could have stopped things right there, and I almost did.  After all, I
was now naked, with a guy showing interest in my body.  Fuck, if that
wasn't gay, what was.  But the reality of the situation was that now my
cock was doing the thinking for me.  I reasoned that getting a handjob or
a blowjob by a guy was no different than getting one by a woman.  After
all, a mouth or hand is the same, so what does it matter?  So, I just lay
there.
	My inaction was another signal to him and he grabbed my cock.
	I shuddered at the feel of his rough palm.
	Just beyond the curtain, the door leading to the hallway was still
partly open.  I could hear people walking by, talking in hushed voices.
Yet, on my side of the curtain, I was getting a handjob from a stranger.
Fuck that was exciting.
	One of his hands found my chest and began squeezing and pulling my
nipples.  I'd never had anyone do that, and I was shocked at how good it
felt.
	He positioned himself next to my cock and slowly lowered his head.
"Tell me if you want me to stop," he told me as he was about to wrap his
lips around my cock head.
	"Don't stop," I said in a deep, guttural voice, filled with excitement
and urgency.
	With one hand playing with my chest, a finger up my ass and his mouth
sucking on my hard cock, the top of my head was about to pop off.  He
really knew what to do.  I grabbed his head and began fucking his mouth,
like I'd fucked my girl friend's mouth many times.  My balls were
slapping against his chin with each stroke.  He gagged on a few deep
probes into his mouth, which I loved to hear.  Soon, I shook twice and
shot a huge load of cum into his mouth.  I let go of his head, but he
kept on sucking until I was drained and my cock had gotten real
sensitive.
	I fell back onto the bad, totally relaxed.  I had fucked his mouth,
fucked him like my girl.  God, I felt so good, so in control.
	As I lay there, I noticed he was still hard.  I knew how much I hated
those times when I got all hot and bothered but couldn't cum, so I
decided to give him a thank you handjob.  That seemed pretty gay at the
time, but as I thought about it, it also seemed like the least I could
do.  And, I just had a guy suck me off, so I could go the next step for a
one time only handjob.  So I grabbed the front of his pants and squeezed
his cock.
	He had me stop and told me to sit up on the side of the bed, then throw
my legs over the side.  I thought he wanted me to get in a position where
I could get a better grip on his cock.  But, no!
	When I was sitting up, he pushed my gown way over to the side.  At that
point, I began to wonder.  Then he put both of his hands on my chest and
gently pushed me back, onto my back.
	My heart pounded.  This wasn't what I thought, was it?
	He got a glob of lubricant on his fingers.
	God, he was serious.
	He put his fingers between my legs and began lubing my asshole.
	Shit, I thought, he's going to fuck me.  He's really going to fuck me.
My mind raced.
	"No, I don't want this," I told him.
	Ignoring my plea for him to stop, his finger slipped into my ass.  The
lubricant made it feel even better than when he was in me before.
	I groaned.  "No, stop."
	A second finger and then a third was in me.  I had to stop him.  He was
finger fucking me and would soon be fucking me with his cock, if I let
him go on.
	"Don't."  As he fingered me, all I could think of was an image of fags
in dark alleys, lubed up and fucking each other  in the ass.  It was all
so dirty, and here it was about to happen to me.  "I'll scream," I told
him.  "Stop, or I swear to God, I will."
	I saw his face, his eyes.  He had a hungry look that told me I wasn't
going to stop him with just a few words.  I began to panic when he
stepped back and with his free hand, pulled down his pants.  His cock was
probable 7 inches long.  Christ, it's head was actually purple.  His
balls were big and hanging down so beautifully.  At the sight, my voice
dropped off to a whisper, "No."
	That was it.  In a few seconds, I'd gone from feeling like I had been
completely in charge of getting sucked off, to now getting ready to be
fucked.  I suddenly realized I was never in charge.  He was the one who
had been in charge and had been using me all the time.
	I looked up to the ceiling and he opened my ass cheeks.  His cock head
rubbed back and forth over my asshole.
	Words hadn't stopped him, but then at this point, I'd come to realize
that I really didn't want him to stop.  I wanted him to control me.
	He grabbed my cock, it was hard again, and he suddenly rammed his cock
into my tight, virgin ass.
	"Oh, fuck," I groaned in pleasure and pain.  It had happened, I was
filled with a cock.  I was getting fucked.  A man's cock was inside of
me.  No matter what thought I'd had before, I did love it.  After the
initial pain eased, he began pumping me, hard and deep.
	From somewhere else, I heard a gravely version of my own voice telling
him, "Fuck me hard, you mother fucker."
	He put his hand over my mouth and did just that.  He pounded my ass as
hard as I thought anyone could ever fuck a pussy.  The feel was amazing.
I squirmed and pulled my legs up to my chest, giving his even deeper
penetration into me.  As he fuck away, I began jacking off again.
	He suddenly stopped, straightened up.  Then I felt a warm sensation
filling my ass.  He'd cum in me.  After he was spent, he pulled out and
bent down and sucked on my nipple.
	Had I been raped or seduced?  As I was wondering which one, I grabbed
his head and pressed it into my tit.  "Suck it hard," I told him.
	He did just that, sucking and biting one tit and roughly pulling the
other until I came again.
	Then I knew, I hadn't been raped.  I'd been seduced.  I'd just had a
door opened for me and I loved it.
	Over the years, I've reopened that door every now and then.
Occasionally on the other side of that door is a stranger sucking me off
in a video booth, a young boy I pick up hitchhiking and talk into a
session of fucking each other, or it's a friend I've known and have been
drinking with.  Each time, as I cum in someone or feel their cock in me,
I think about that first time and how exciting it was.