Date: Sat, 13 Jan 2007 20:41:17 EST
From: Suck4Straight@aol.com
Subject: shame & fear in a masochistic encounter

An overcast Friday afternoon, raining occasionally, meant that the porno
movie booths in Times Square might yield hot straight guys looking for
some relief.  When I arrived, there was already another cocksucker there,
hanging around.  At first he was interested in me until he realized that
I was, like himself, a queer sucker for rough trade. I waited around,
like the other guy, pretending to look at DVDs.

Within ten minutes, a husky young man in his mid-twenties arrived,
looking about nervously, as if his girl friend might find out he cruises
for gay cocksuckers occasionally.  He was built like a football player,
at least six feet and a half tall, thick and barrel-chested.  He was
dressed in sweats and went quickly into a booth with a glory hole.  I
beat the other fag into the adjoining booth.

His nervousness and fear were palpable through the wall. I got down on my
knees and spoke to him through the hole.  I talked him into putting his
dick through---it was soft due to his self-consciousness, but I sucked on
just the head, pulling on it and yanking on it with my hand.  Soon he had
a raging hard on (I'm an expert cocksucker).

He withdrew his cock and knelt down to the hole, asking me if I wanted to
go back with him to his hotel.  I asked him where and he replied
"Forty-Second Street."  I declined, although I had second thoughts later.

"Let me suck it for awhile," I begged. I resisted going back with him for
several reasons: maybe he, too, was gay and wanted to suck me--which I
did not desire; maybe he was a prositiute or a thief---but this was
unlikely because guys trying to roll fags don't invite you back to their
place, usually. He was certainly handsome and masculine I was tempted to
go back to his hotel room with him, but somehow, insisting to just suck
him off there made me feel like a real crass, hardened bitch.

His fear added to the excitement of the blowjob.

After about ten minutes of expert cocksucking, I made him come, right
there in my mouth (I called myself a sperm eater to urge him on). He
recovered quickly, wiped himself off and left. I thanked him through the
hole, but he didn't respond. I think that after he came, he thought about
what he had done and felt ashamed.
______________

Shame and fear are the two emotions that serve to heighten the eroticism
in a sex scene like this, with sadomasochistic overtones.  They add a
thrilling dimension to ordinary sexual experience.  Shame is defined as
"a painful feeling of having lost the respect of others," and fear,
"anxiety and agitation felt at the presence of danger."  Poppers help
facilitate the scene by mimicking the symptoms of fear and shame in the
rapid heartbeat (fear) and the sudden flush (shame).

It's so exciting because it's so humiliating--especially if the guy is
basically straight, just looking for some relief--it's more degrading
somehow. Any other cocksuckers who can identify or straights that need it
bad, like this stud?