Date: Sat, 24 Jul 2004 09:19:12 -0700 (PDT) From: John Mann <johnman27_98@yahoo.com> Subject: The Bear - Part 3: Epilogue The Bear Part 3: Epilogue It's been three days since I saw him last - and since then, I haven't had the slightest sexual urge. I've got unanswered e-mail sitting in my inbox, from guys who want to get together with me - but what I had been doing seems so bland now. How am I going to go back? You can't close Pandora's Box. -------------------- I was watching huge jets of water streaming way up into the air, cascading down and totally drenching the kids playing in the public fountain. They screamed with glee, delighted at this forbidden play. I wanted to be in there with them. Even more so - I wanted to be in there with him. I wanted to be soaked through to the bone, completely surrounded by water, awash in sensation, and pummeled by that which delighted me. -------------------- Intellectually, I knew the emotions I was feeling were caused by him - but weren't really directed at him. I don't really know him well enough to feel this strong a craving for him. I'd just had my eyes opened to things I didn't expect. Interestingly enough, knowing that a craving isn't really justified doesn't make it go away. -------------------- Knowing that all traces of the bear's visit needed to be erased, I was doing the laundry that included sweaty stuff from that hot afternoon. In goes the shirt and pants, drenched from rolling around with him. A Pillowcase - remembering the image of his head framed by the pillow, eyes rolled back, moaning as I plowed him over and over. The cleanup towel - After throwing the towel in the washtub, and watching the rising water slowly start to consume it- I quickly grabbed the dry part of the towel, and pulled it back out - taking one long sniff, remembering that hot, sweaty, tawdry, mind-blowing (life-changing?) afternoon. Then, I pushed the towel back down into the water, trying to wash the last traces of the bear from my life. http://www.geocities.com/johnman27_98/