Date: Fri, 23 May 2014 23:04:53 +0800
From: thelonerinthecloset@gmail.com
Subject: The Loner In the Closet Chapter 1

DISCLAIMERS:

This story is a work of gay erotic fiction. It contains instances of sexual
activity between boys or men and if you are underage, offended by such
work, or is illegal to read in your jurisdiction, please stop now.

The names and places in this story are entirely fictitious, any resemblance
to persons alive or dead, or to events is entirely coincidental and
unintentional.  This story is copyrighted, ©2014 to the author and it is
therefore illegal to copy or use any part of this story without my prior
written consent and permission.

About the story - Even though there would fiction, a lot of the story is
based on my emotions and my experiences. I am trying to weave a bit of
love, emotion, fantasy and sex all in my story, but please do not expect
complete hard core sex in the stories. I mean it to be a touching story of
love and not sex. Some parts of the story maybe connected, but mostly will
be discrete based on different experiences.

This is my first attempt at telling a story, so I would love to hear from
you. Please do send me comments, suggestions and your reactions to the
story - thelonerinthecloset@gmail.com

Thanks! - thelonerinthecloset

The guy on the Subway

As I was travelling down the escalator in the subway station, I first saw
him. And at that moment my heart exploded. The guy in the blue shirt. He
stood out among the 100 other people on the platform. I did not care any
more about anyone else. I just wanted to run and hug him, kiss his rosy red
lips, which made me yearn for him. The wretched society doesn't let you do
that, and of course the large possibility that he may not be like me. For I
am dark, ugly and gay, living in the dark world of the closet. A world I
can am forever locked in, for this life.

I walked down the escalator, slowly stealing glances at him, wishing he
sees me, till I went to a spot opposite him and stood, waiting for the
train, hoping it will be delayed a bit. He looked at me, a quick glance,
uninterested, never realizing that I had stopped breathing at his beauty. I
kept trying to act uninterested, as I usually do, when all the while I just
wanted to keep looking at his beautiful face forever, immerse myself into
his eyes, while playing with his soft hair which lightly brushed his
forehead, and melt myself into those red lips carrying a fragile, faint
smile. He turned his head again towards me, staring at my shoes and
thinking about something, while I still was fighting myself over trying to
look the other way. One of the reasons I have decided to disbelieve in God
is because of what he has made me and the restrictions he has put on me. He
is too cruel to be a higher power. I refuse to accept him.

The train arrived and I quickly chose to stand on the opposite door, hoping
he will stand close by. He took the opposite end of the sliding door,
facing in a perpendicular direction to me. The blue shirt and the red lips
on his flawless skin made me desperate in my heart and yet I chose to stand
there bound by those many worldly ropes, unable to ever free myself. He
just stood there watching other passengers. I wished he had looked at least
once, but did not. And then he looked from the corner of his eye towards
me, and his lips curved a bit as if trying to avoid a smile. I realized I
had been staring at him, and quickly turned away, but couldn't resist too
long. He was still trying to hide a smile, as if he knew I was staring at
him. Is he playing me up, I wondered? Is he interested in me, I
pondered. Only if he had given me a hint, I would have probably run into
his arms, but he continued his slight grin, mocking me and teasing me at
the same time. He probably knew he had my attention, but maybe was probably
not interested in me. Maybe he just wanted to pass his time on his way
home. I will never know. Or maybe he is just a shy guy like me, who has
been bound by the ropes of expectation and relationships, which cannot be
broken. I can only wish, I was free and the world accepted me for all I am
worth.

In my imagination I had already reached for those rose petal lips, softly
touching them, inviting them to melt in my own. I closed my eyes and felt
his warm breath on the neck, as he sighed his passion on me, sucking gently
on that spot on my neck as I lost myself in his strong but gentle arms. His
lean body muscle was taut against me, our chests and stomach matching in
their tight curves. Every point on my body where he touched me sent waves
of pleasantness in me.  I pulled him into me so that we could be as close
as physically possible, hugging him tight, for I was afraid he would
leave. I could not bear the loneliness anymore. I wanted to stay in my
perfect dream world, where I could be myself, with him forever.

It was a short journey home for me, and my train of thought broke on
hearing the next station being announced. I had to get off. With a one last
look at him, and a deep sigh, I got off the train. He did not even look at
me leave. As the doors closed behind me, I picked up the pieces of my
heart, as always, wishing I was never born. I am sure he would have
forgotten me by the time the train left the platform, but I am grateful to
him for those few minutes of pleasure in my life, when my heart thumped
loudly, and for those few moments, when I could leave my worldly baggage
behind and forgot everything, just for him. I will never be able to love
anyone, hold them in my arms and snuggle with them in my bed, and I know
that, but these are those small moments in my life, which I believe help me
live, and push me to go on. Thank you my friend on the train, you made my
day. I with all my heart wish you to be always truly happy.