Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2007 08:37:21 -0700 (PDT)
From: Bobby <brokendreamboi@yahoo.com>
Subject: A Life So Changed ch.10

The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities are completely
fortuitous. The story may contain profanity and references to gay sex. If
such content offends you please leave now. The author maintains all
rights to the story. Do not copy or use without written consent from the
author. Write Bobby at brokendreamboi@yahoo.com with you comments.


A Life So Changed 10


The past month has been absolutely thrilling. I have gotten drunk almost
every single night. What about school? Exactly, what about school? I
haven't gone but maybe three days. And all those days were cut short. I
needed an escape. The continuous amount of alcohol was the perfect one.
Oh, and don't get me started on the sexual escapes. Me and that waiter
are really starting to hit it off. I finally learned his name; it's
Mark. I think I'm starting to fall in love with him even though I told
myself that I don't need anyone.

The past month I haven't seen Jared that much. Sure, the few times I've
gone to school we've seen each other and he's even tried to talk to me.
Hell, he's called me tons of times just making small talk. He told me
that...he still loves me. When he told me that, warmth swelled inside of
me. Then I quickly got rid of it. At the end of every call he also said
he loves me, and then I'd here the click.

"You know, maybe you should just call and talk to him sometime." Mark
said, buttoning his shirt back up.

"What?"

"That boy, Jared, is it? You obviously still care for him." he said
simply.

"No I don't," I argued. I stood up off of his bed and walked behind
him. My arms found there way around his waist and locked hands.

"Oh, come on, you do too! I saw this sparkle in your eyes the past few
times you talk to this mystery man." Mark explained.

"No, I don't." I said firmly. I walked in front of him and looked him
dead in the eyes. "I...I love you."

He turned around and gave me a weird look. "You what?"

"I...think I love you, Mark."

"Really? Hmm, I think that deserves some alcohol. It's Saturday night
after all and we've done no big partying lately. What do you say?" he
said quickly.

I suddenly got the feeling that I pushed limits that we never even had.
And I realized that all we do is blow jobs when he gets off work or bored
at his small apartment. Where is the love in that? And where the fuck
does he get off telling me I still care about Jared?

"Yeah, sure. Let's go party hardy." I said, flashing him a fake smile.
We don't even kiss. It is just blowjobs.

He drove us to the Miller place. It was quite crowded for only being
nine. Right when we walked in we were handed a beer. The not-so-faint
smell of Mary Jane was lofting in the air. The small alone was making me
anxious to get my hands on some. And of course I got some.

After a couple hours I drank minimum which surprised the hell out of me.
Eventually I began wandering around the house looking for Mark. I wanted
to leave, but he brought us so I was screwed. No one had seen him
downstairs so I drifted upstairs. There were several people upstairs
doing the same thing downstairs. The only difference between the floors
was that the upstairs had more rooms to...do things in I guess. As I
walked down the hallway I noticed that one of the doors was open.
Carefully, I poked my head in and was stunned.

"Oh, yes! Mmm, that's perfect!" Mark moaned. I saw someone thrusting
into Mark roughly. Mark was on all fours and he was totally into it. Of
course, anger swarmed inside of me. I tore myself away from the door,
trying to hold back the tears. The crowd seemed like it had suddenly
grown larger, but I managed to force my way through the drunks and
stoners and I actually made it outside. The tears had made there way out
of my eyes unfortunately, and I realized I have no way to get home.

Mark is such an asshole for doing this to me. We share blow jobs for
months then I tell him I'm falling in love with him and how does he repay
me? By bringing me to a party to get drunk and then get himself a quick
fuck, that's how. Fuck it, I'll just go back in and drink some more. I
think tonight is the night to get completely smashed.

And that is exactly what I did. Around two is when I must have woken up
from passing out. I was barely able to get up and walk, but I had to find
Mark. Of course, it wasn't until I checked every room that I was told he
left. Instead of people telling me this first, I had to kill myself
trying to find someone who had apparently left two hours ago. What a
bastard. My feet that were stumbling every step weren't helping me make
my escape through the door, but eventually I stumbled outside where I
collapsed by a tree. I propped myself against the base and took out my
cell phone, dialing Jared's number.

"Mmm, hello?" Jared said groggily.

At first, I couldn't reply to him. His voice was angelic to me, and I
hated myself for thinking like that. "Hi,"

"Um, hi, who is this?"

"It's me," I said softly. "Kevin,"

"Kevin? What the hell are you doing at two-"

"I need your help." I interrupted him.

"Oh, okay. What do you need?"

So I told him that I was stranded here and he told me that I wouldn't be
for long. What a great guy. I'm almost thinking that it's a shame I
broke up with him. But if he wasn't so damn demanding and controlling
then I wouldn't have had to break up with him.

Although, maybe my drinking is a problem in my life. I can see why Jared
would want me to quit. Drinking and smoking is a total catastrophe to
your health. Then again with the way I have felt lately I could care less
about my health. I couldn't care less if a truck ran me over at full
speed. At least then I would be out of my fucking misery.

I know I fucked up. Jared was my everything. He was my boyfriend, my
lover, my rock. And then I had to go and screw everything up. When Jared
had called to talk to me we always talked about how I was, but not one
thing was usually mentioned about him. This suddenly pissed me off. How
the hell could I be so selfish? Jared had given me everything I'd ever
wanted. And some of the things he gave me he wasn't even aware of.

Maybe I could try to stop doing these things. Maybe just drink instead of
drugs and smoking. Then again I couldn't drink like I do now. Ah, hell,
what am I thinking? If I gave all this shit up again I'd just lose it
like I did before. But if I did try and stop this time I could at least
drink every now and then which would help the process so I wouldn't go
through DT's.

A car pulled up into the small dirt lot a little ways from the house and
parked. Someone got out of it and ran up to me. Instantly I knew who it
was. The biggest tip off was his scent. Even at two in the morning his
scent was almost dangerous.

"Kevin, what's going on?" Jared asked quietly.

I started crying for no reason. I felt his hand wipe the falling tears
away. That touch nearly burnt. It had been a long time since I felt a
loving touch like that. Sure, Mark touched me, but that was just to
reposition his mouth on my dick. "Can you take me home?"

He looked at me cautiously, probably deciding on whether or not I was
okay enough to go home or maybe the fact that without Mark I really
didn't have a home. "Why don't you come home with me? You can shower
and change your clothes and eat something. You look so pale and skinny."

"I think that'd be a mistake, Jared." I said somewhat hoarsely.

"No, it won't be. I promise there are no strings attached. I'm just
trying to help you out."

"But why?"

"Because I still love you. Even though you have done horrible things, I
still love you."

"Oh, don't say that."

"Why not?" he asked calmly.

"Because I still love you, too, damn it." I choked out. He wiped more
tears away and helped me stand up. I was to sick and drunk to resist so I
tried being as easy to carry as I could be.

He drove me to his house and took me to his room. I was on the verge of
passing out, but I was forcing myself to stay awake. He brought me here
so I could shower and that is what I intend to do.

I bent down to try and take my shoes off, but Jared started doing it for
me. He started with my shoes and socks, then my pants, then my shirt. By
now, I was completely naked except for my briefs. I may have been out of
it, but I knew what Jared was doing.

"Jared I can't do this with you." I groaned.

"I'm just helping you out, Kevin. You wanna take a shower, right?"

"Fine, but I'll take these off in the bathroom."

"That's okay,"

I walked into the bathroom and started the shower. I slid my briefs off
and stepped inside the shower. Suddenly, I was on my back.

"Kevin!" I heard someone say. "Are you all right?" I couldn't
answer. My head was hurting even worse than before and I felt so stiff.
Then the door swung open and I was lifted onto my butt. "Kevin, are you
okay?" Jared grabbed my face and looked straight into my eyes. It was
hard to focus on him, and I couldn't.

"I killed the cat. Lots of blood." I barely got out.

"What? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Lots of blood."

He lifted me up and carried me back to his room. There was no way I could
walk. I felt him put me down and cover me up. He left, I'm guessing to
turn the water off then I felt the bed lightly sink down next to me.

"You were hallucinating. Why are you doing this to yourself, Kevin?"

I couldn't answer. The only thing that I was capable of was sitting
there, looking in his eyes, and crying. He rubbed my stomach gently and
wiped the tears away. The last thing I remember before shutting my eyes
was him telling me "I love you."

*

I woke up to an empty room. Jared wasn't anywhere to be seen. Thank God.
I am so not in the mood to talk about anything right now. I pushed the
blanket off of me, but that was a big mistake. I quickly pulled it back
over myself. It was freezing. And I was naked. What the hell?

"Oh, good, you're awake." Jared walked in the room looking bright as
usual. I think my feelings for him might be heating back up, but...I
can't let them. If I fall back in love with him I'd have to quit
everything. I won't do that shit if we get back together. Lucky me, we
won't get back together.

"Where are my clothes?" I asked. He pointed to the end of the bed. I
reached down and grabbed my briefs. "You washed my clothes?"

"Of course I did," he replied.

"Well, thanks,"

"No problem, anytime."

I slid my shirt over my chest then stood up. Jared looked me over and
gave me a shy smile. His cute signs were enough to drive me wild usually,
but not anymore...kind of.

"Can you drop me off at a friend's house?" I asked.

"Oh, you want to leave already?" He seemed generally disappointed, but
spending to much time with him would be bad. It'd be giving him false
hope.

"It'd be best,"

"Right, best."

I finished getting dressed and ate the food that Jared made me. After, he
drove me to Mark's apartment where I have been staying for the past
month. Before I got out of the jeep we just sat not talking to each
other. I felt so awkward being in my ex-boyfriend's jeep. Sure, I'm
grateful that he gave me a ride last night, but I never asked to be taken
to his house.

"Thanks," I said, opening the door and stepping out. As I made my way
into the complex gate Jared shouted my name. I didn't turn around, but I
heard a door shut and foot steps coming towards me.

"I still love you. Does that not mean anything to you?" he asked with
hopefulness in her voice.

"Honestly I'm flattered, but no, it doesn't. I'm sorry."

"So, what you just pretended to love me? Is that it?"

"No, but you drove me away! You made me quit that shit and I didn't
want to. You were controlling and strict. It was like living with my
parents!"

Before he responded I turned around and continued walking into the
complex. As I was climbing the stairs to Mark's apartment I heard a car
speed away. I assumed it was Jared. It wasn't my intention so break is
heart, but if I don't love him anymore than I can't just deny my
self-respect and still go out with him. But shit, who am I kidding? I
still feel a little something for Jared. Although, I don't. It is so
hard to explain my feelings.

I walked inside the apartment and was greeted by Mark and some guy
sleeping naked on the couch. Nice. What a bastard. I was actually
starting to fall in love with him. Suddenly, a thought struck me. Why the
hell am I here? I don't live here. I don't have anything but a few
shirts here. Fuck this shit.

*

The past week has been a living miserable hell. Since I found Mark naked
with that guy I immediately kicked myself out, not worrying about telling
him goodbye. But since I had no where else to go I actually am now
homeless. Jared is an option, but he hasn't even called me. It's not
like it'd do any good any ways. I haven't paid the bill this month so
it's shut off. I don't think he'd call me considering we left on my
terms.

Could you forgive me?

I don't know if I could. For a while it actually seemed like Jared was
forgiving me without me even saying anything. But I think that is only
because he is still in love with me. The thought of going back to him and
telling him that I'm still in love with him has been on my mind ever
since I told him that I didn't care if he loved me or not.

Tonight I plan on going to a party and getting myself wasted beyond
belief. I've been going to the same place for parties for the past couple
months, but now it is time to spice it up. I heard about this place that
could stomp all over the Miller place. And just because I have no car, no
home, no one who gives a damn about me, doesn't mean that I'm not gonna
party until I die.

Luckily, tonight was coming very fast. My new home wasn't that far from
the party either. Recently I've lived in one of the parks that are found
in our city. I go as far into it as I can so that no one, not even the
early morning runners, could find me.

Sometimes I would forget where I kept what my things. Of course, if I
forgot where they were it wouldn't be a big deal. Alls I have are a few
shirts and...the necklace Jared gave me for Christmas. It is the only
thing left of him that I have. Now, I bet you're sitting there thinking
that I brought this upon myself. Well, you're only half right. Sure, I
broke up with him, but the reason for the break up was simple: I wasn't
happy anymore. I missed my old life and how I ran it. But why do I feel
miserable without him in my life anymore. I even had the perfect
opportunity last week when he picked me up from the Miller party. I'm
just too much of a coward, I'll admit that. But what to do now? Well,
that is such a simple answer. Party.

I walked to the house where the party was. I had waited a couple hours
for the party to start and for people to get drunk before I moved in and
took over. It only took me an hour to get drunk, but I was not satisfied
there. I wanted to get wasted. There was no ulterior motive other than
that. And so I did. Twenty shots of...God only knows what and eight
joints. To say I was fucking gone would be sugar coating it.

Around four, I decided to walk back to my park home. It was amazing that
I was able to walk on my own. On my way, I stumbled a few times and even
tripped, but my thoughts never changed; should I go to Jared's right now
and tell him that I love him?

Wait, I just went from unloving to loving in a matter of hours. Shit.
Even though I am dangerously drunk and somewhat high maybe I should at
least go to Jared's and tell him the good news. At this very moment I am
deciding that I want those feelings he gives me even if it means I have
to stop what I'm doing to myself. I want to feel that warm sensation he
can course through my body by just simply looking at me. Aw, now I'm
freaking crying.

But fine. I'm going to his house. I just hope that a cop doesn't find me
wandering the streets right now. Besides that fact, it is freezing
outside and I have nothing but a shirt, pants, shoes, and a silver
necklace in my pocket. I lost my wallet some time ago, but I have no idea
where it could even be.

When I was only three blocks away from his house I ran into trouble,
major fucking trouble. A car pulled up next to me and stopped. I didn't
turn around to look because I knew who it was. I just continued walking.

"Hey son," One person got out of the driver side and the passenger
side. It freaked me out considering I've never had to come in contact
with these people.

"Yeah?" I said, turning around and facing them.

"Mind telling us what you're doing out so late? Or in this case so
early?" a woman asked.

"I was just enjoying the morning. Is there a problem?"

"How old are you kid?" a man asked.

"I'm old enough not to answer that question." I said flatly. I was
feeling extra brave at the moment, but I shouldn't have been so bold.

"I like your daring kid," the man said. "I'm Lieutenant Scavo and this
is my partner, Officer Solis, where's your house? We'll take you
home." They both stepped in closer to me and shined their flashlights
into my eyes.

"I don't have a home. My parents put me up for adoption. I broke up
with my boyfriend so I can't go there anymore. I hooked up with a guy
and got a place to live, but ran away from there after he had sex with
some jackass. Does that answer your question?" I said hastily.

"That and so much more. Listen kid, where're you heading to?" the
Lieutenant asked.

"I was just about to go to my ex's house." I replied nervously.

"Well, tell you what. We'll let you go this time, and give you a ride
to his house." the officer said nicely. "What's your name?"

"Um, Kevin Scavo," The Lieutenant seemed to look at me harder after I
said my name. I wonder if I have some kind of record, or my parents
called the cops on me for some reason. Officer Solis looked at the
Lieutenant and then back at me warmly.

"Right, well, Kevin let's get you in the car and we'll give you a
lift." Solis said.

I was hesitant at first, but then replied, "I guess that'd be okay."
She opened the back door for me and I hopped in and closed the door. I
noticed that the Lieutenant was looking at me curiously before Solis
stepped in front of him and started talking. I couldn't make out what
they were saying, but I got the faint indication that it was definitely
about me. When Officer Solis turned around and looked at me I looked a
different way sharply. They both got in the car and I told them how to
get to Jared's house. Officer Solis was making small talk with me where
as Lieutenant Scavo was busy...that's why he kept looking me over. We
have the same last name. But it's not like we're related or anything so
what was the big deal?

"It's the huge one on the left," I said.

"Wow that is one huge house." Solis said.

"You can just drop me off in front of the security office. I have to go
through that anyways."

We pulled in front of the office and I stepped out, along with them. Gus
walked down to us and regarded me as if I was invisible.

"Hi, I'm Lieutenant Scavo and this is my partner, Officer Solis. We are
just escorting Kevin here."

Gus stuck out his hand. "Gus Basset, head of security here at the Young
residence."

"Well, Kevin, you stay out of trouble and stay indoors during curfew.
Good night." Officer Solis said. She stuck out her hand and I shook it
without hesitation.

"Thank you," I said, smiling for the first time in weeks. She sat back
in the cruiser then shut the door leaving me and the Lieutenant standing
outside. Gus already went back up into the office probably because he was
freezing his ass off.

"Here's my card, Kevin. Give me a call anytime if you need some help."

"Um, thanks Lieutenant." I said. He extended his hand and I easily
shook his hand. He walked back around and got in then drove off. A
general feeling of happiness swept inside of me. I got really lucky
tonight by not getting tested or taken in for being a minor.

I walked up to the office and asked Gus to let me in. He must have known
what has been going on because he was very rude to me. Hell, he didn't
even let me in.

"Gus, please let me in. I know I've screwed my life up, Jared's life up,
but I'm here to try and fix that." I begged. This was making me feel
even guiltier. A hang over was in clear feeling and I was not in the mood
to deal with a hang over and rude people. After what seemed like an hour
of begging he actually let me in. I don't know if he got tired of me
begging or he believed me, but when he finally let me in I almost
screamed.

Now here I am standing in front of the door that is the entryway to
Jared's home. I suddenly felt very depressed, but I guess that's normal
right? I slowly reached out my hand and opened the door, trying to be
very quiet. Luckily no one was awake. The grandfather clock by the front
door showed about five. So, all in all everything only took about an
hour. Not bad at all.

I climbed the stairs to Jared's room. I hadn't even realized it, but
tears were actually falling from my face. Great, I come here to make up
and I'm starting the water works. Oh well, it'll show how sincere I am.
Besides, if I didn't start crying now I'd just do it once I saw him.

His door was open which was unusual for him; he always keeps his door
closed. Carefully, I crept in the room and saw that Jared was sitting on
his love seat covered with his small silk blanket. Even if it was dark in
his room I could easily tell that he'd been crying.

"Hi," I whispered, trying not to scare him.

"Kevin, what are you doing here?" he asked, getting in front of me
quickly. His scent took me by surprise and I got a little lightheaded.

"I came to...to say that I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. There was
no excuse for what I've said and the things I've done, but I just want
you to know that I'm sorry." I never looked away from his eyes; they
were now watery and I could tell he was about to cry at any second. His
face suddenly cringed though.

"You're drunk," he said disappointingly.

"Yes, but I mean what I'm saying, Jared. God, I was such an idiot. I
still love you!" I cried. He looked happy again after I said that. And
indeed he was. I think it was the way he suddenly grabbed me in a hug
that tipped me off.

"I've missed you so much! I haven't done anything since we've broken up.
My parents were so worried about me. Hell, everyone was." Jared cried.

"I'm so sorry, Jared. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Done." We separated and he smiled at me. I returned the gesture and
wiped some tears from his face. I reached in my pocket and pulled out a
necklace. "You still have it!"

"Of course I do. It was the only thing I had left of you. It was a
painful reminder, but I always made sure it was safe." I said.

He pulled his shirt collar down a little bit and showed a silver
necklace. "You kept yours, too."

"I've barely even taken it off."

"I love you so much. And I'm still so sorry. I need your help with these
things, Jared." I pulled him into my body and hugged him. It felt so
right to be here in his arms. I'm finally happy again, but there is still
so much we have to work through. This time I know I'll do things fro
myself and not just for him. I really do want to quit those things. Well,
at least the pot and I'll take it easy with the alcohol, but I can't
say for sure that I'll quit that.

"Shh, it's all behind us now. I just want to focus on you right now.
I've missed having you in my arms."

"I'll quit smoking, but I don't think I can quit drinking. I'll at
least only drink every once in a while."

"Fine, fine, whatever. I don't even care about that stuff right now."
he said, tightening his grip around me. "We can talk about all that
later."

"Good, I'm so happy again."

Now and then, we all need a little help. So we ask for small favors. But
it's always best to be wary of those eager to come to our rescue because
even the smallest of favors carries a price tag. Yes, everyone has an
agenda no matter what they may tell us. And in those rare instances where
there is no ulterior motive, we're so taken aback that we may fail to
recognize the truth...

"Me too, Kevin, me too."

...that a loving friend has just done us an enormous favor.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The end is coming closer to this story.
Feel free to write me at the e-mail given at the top of every chapter or
join my group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Shades_of_Wisteria/ and
write me there or do both. Thanks!