Date: Fri, 15 Jun 2007 11:43:45 -0700 (PDT)
From: Bobby <brokendreamboi@yahoo.com>
Subject: A Life So Changed 07

The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities are completely
coincidental. The story may contain profanity and references to gay sex.
If such content offends you leave now. The author maintains all rights to
the story. Do not copy or use without written consent from the author.
Write Bobby at brokendreamboi@yahoo.com with your comments.


A Life So Changed 07


Jared and I made out for a long time before going to the party. His
parents left at like five, but the party didn't actually start until
six. We both didn't want to go that early; making out seemed to be our
only option.

"So, you still nervous?" Jared asked me on the way to his aunt's
house.

"A little bit, but not as much as I was yesterday." I said.

"Ah, shit, I forgot that I have to get gas. You don't mind do you?" he
asked me.

"Nah, are you almost empty?"

"Ha, no. I never let my tank get below three-quarters."

"Oh, is there a reason?"

"Well, if you let the gas get too low the fuel injector starts to suck
up gunk from the bottom of the tank."

"Really, hm."

He turned into a little gas station and hurriedly filled the tank. But as
he was doing that I noticed a man popping open a can of beer. Beer
hasn't ever been my favorite, but it's alcohol, right? The sight of
that sent a cold chill down my spine...again.

"Okay, let's get rolling." Jared snapped me back into this world. I
hadn't even heard him get in. Man, I think I'm starting to draw back
into my bad habits. Maybe it's just a phase of quitting.

"Great,"

Jared made small talk on the rest of the way to his aunt's house. When
we got there the first thought that ran through my mind: fortune must run
in the family; her house was just a bit smaller than Jared's. One thing
that was different was that there were two security offices instead of
one. I thought that was a bit odd, but whatever. Of course, my curiosity
arose and I had to ask.

"Jared, why does your aunt have two security offices?"

"Well, she...I think...I don't know." he laughed. "I think she just
likes extra security."

"That's cool," He pulled up to one of the windows and started talking
to the guard.

"Hey, Eddie," he said. "What's doin'?"

"Eh, nothing really. Go on in." Eddie replied.

"Thanks, man."

He pulled up in the driveway and shut the engine off. After he stepped
out of the jeep and shut the door, it started to roll backwards.

"Shit, I forgot the parking brake." he said urgently. He quickly jumped
in and pushed the brake down. "How the hell do I forget the parking
brake after driving a stick for six years?"

"Babe, you've only been driving for like...a year and a half." I said,
hopefully not bursting his bubble.

"Legally," he laughed. "My parents started teaching me early. One day
I told them I wanted to ride a stick." Jared started to laugh
hysterically.

"You're kidding?" I laughed as well.

"Nope, then they realized that I was talking about a car. Then again, I
wasn't that far off from the truth." he said quietly, winking at me as
well. I blushed and turned away. He ran back up next to me and connected
his arm with mine. A huge smile suddenly plastered on his face.

As we got up to the doors my stomach started to hurt, major. When he rang
the doorbell, my stomach hurt worse then before. But the pain was really
bad as soon as the doors opened.

"Hello, Jared,"

"Hey, Mr. Oswald." Jared replied. We walked in and Mr. Oswald took our
coats. I could here laughter coming from a room farther into the house.
"So, is everyone in the kitchen?"

"Yes, sir, they are. Right this way." Mr. Oswald said. We followed him
into the kitchen where we were greeted by laughter and chatter among
quite a few people, at least thirty. And that may or may not seem like a
lot, but this was just supposed to be family, or so I thought.

"Oh, good, you've finally come." Angela said, trying to regain
composure. She was crying she was laughing so hard. "Come on in,"

Right when we walked in everyone continued to do their thing, but also
looked at us. The butterflies in my stomach transformed into birds. I
hated being stared at and this was definitely no exception. I even saw a
few people giving us dirty looks. What the hell is that all about? Isn't
this all family?

"Hey everyone," Jared said. "This is my boyfriend, Kevin."

"Hi,"

The laughter died down, quickly. Now I could really tell that everyone
was staring. Jared looked a bit confused by this situation it seemed.
Maybe he thought that it'd be a magical event where everyone would
accept me. Ha.

"Well," Angela said. "Where is that crazy aunt of yours? She has been
dying to meet Kevin." She turned around and started to leave the
kitchen. Paul stood up and hugged Jared then me. At least three people in
this house didn't hate me.

"Ahh, there he is!" a woman screamed. She came running through the
crowd of people and grabbed Jared in a hug. I took a step back with a
smile on my face. I could clearly see that she loved him, a lot.

"It's nice to see you again, Aunt Julia." Jared coughed.

"Oh my, it must have been months ago since the last time I saw you."
she said happily. She pulled back from Jared then looked at me.

"This is Kevin, auntie." Jared said.

I smiled meekly to her and stuck out my hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"I'm a hugger," she said, before pushing my hand aside and hugged me,
but softer than Jared. I returned the hug and smiled at Jared. "Well, it
certainly is nice to meet you. Jared and I have talked on the phone a few
times and he told me about this boy who is his everything. And my God, I
love your hair!"

I giggled and replied, "Thanks,"

"Yes, well, don't be shy you two. There is plenty of food and gossip
going around so grab your piece of both."

And we did just that. Julianne had quite the food selection. There were
enchiladas, tamales, tacos, orange rice, burritos, hot dogs, and pizza. I
started with one plate, but ended up with three. She also had many
selections for us to drink. As I moved down the row of drinks I froze at
something I never thought I'd be fact to face with again: alcohol. Wine,
to be specific; there was also champagne and various liquors. I couldn't
move my eyes away from the bottles even as Jared stood next to me,
looking at my face then at what I was staring at.

"Babe..." he said quietly.

"Uh...uh...I...I...wasn't going to drink any." I stuttered very
nervously. I grabbed a cup of cider that was further down the counter
then followed Jared in trying to find somewhere to sit. As I was
following him around I saw more alcohol. His family was drinking
wine...champagne...and here I am trying to quit. It's taking a lot of
self-restraint from going and just taking a sip from anyone's cup.

Jared and I finally found a table in the dining room that wasn't being
used. Most of the guests were seated in the kitchen, but there were
others elsewhere in the house. We sat and ate talking about our
Christmas. Of course, we were also eavesdropping on the conversations
being held in the kitchen. Some were funny and some were serious, but
laughter still filled the air.

I was getting nervous; not by his family, but by how I reacted to seeing
the alcohol so close to me. I was so close to grabbing some, too close.
But at the moment I couldn't concentrate on the alcohol...just in the
next room...sitting on the counter...ah, damn it. Food. That's what will
help me. I was finished with my three plates any ways so this is how I
can distract myself.

Walking back in the kitchen, of course, the laughter once again lightly
died down when I went back for seconds. I got a few weird looks and even
a few curious looks. Maybe it was the way I am dressed, or maybe it's
the way I'm eating. What ever the way I really don't appreciate it.

"Jared, why are some of your family members staring at me? At us?" I
asked him when I got back to the table.

"Well, I think it's because of the gay thing. Sure, my parents and aunt
are okay with it, but that doesn't mean all of my family are
gay-accepting." he explained. He looked down at his plate and pushed
food with his fork. This obviously wasn't the easiest thing for him to
talk about.

"I love you," I said softly.

He looked back up at me and smiled. "Yeah, I know."

"Conceited,"

"No!" he laughed.

We finished eating then went in the kitchen. Thankfully, there weren't as
many stares as there was earlier. Maybe Angela or Paul said something.
What ever was done or said was greatly appreciated by me.

An hour must have passed before I was finally growing comfortable in this
environment. Jared was laughing as well as myself. Everyone seemed to
enjoy themselves enough to not stare at us.

"So, Kevin, what do you do in your life?" I was suddenly asked.
However, I have no idea who this was. Thank God for Jared, though.

"Kev, this is my mom's brother, Michael." Jared said into my ear.

"Well...I, um..." I started, but what do I tell him? I'm a recovering
druggie and alcoholic? Oh, and don't forget smoking. But someone else
answered for me. And this was again not appreciated.

"Oh, Michael, hasn't Angela told you?" an older woman spoke. Michael
shook his head and then looked at Angela.

"Mom, don't do-" Angela tried, but her mom cut her off.

"Kevin here is a recovering alcoholic, drug user, and smoker. He's been
receiving counseling and everything."

The room suddenly got deathly quiet. Angela looked at, I'm guessing her
mom, with extreme anger. Jared looked mortified at his grandma. Julianne
was packing food up for her guests, but walked nearer us after that was
said. I on the other hand felt incredibly embarrassed and ashamed.
Everyone again was looking at me. This time they looked at me with true
uneasiness. I just looked at the ground telling myself not to cry, not to
cry.

"I have to go, it is getting late." I said in a very hushed voice. This
was the second time today that I hurriedly walked out of a house, or at
least tried too.

"Kevin, wait," Jared said loudly.

I couldn't stop though, not in that house. I reached the door and tried
opening it, but it was locked and I couldn't figure out how the hell to
open it. That's when the dam busted. Tears very freely broke from my
eyes and trailed down my cheeks. Resting my head against the door I felt
arms try and wrap around me. A certain cologne suddenly floated in the
air, not to strong, but strong enough to smell with certain
classification. It was Jared. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me
into him.

"I'm sorry, Jared. But I'm quitting that stuff. I'm so sorry for
that." I cried furiously after being in his arms.

"Shh, I know you are. But you know what?" he asked me.

"No," I sniffled. "What?"

"I don't even care about that stuff Kevin. When I look at you all I see
is you. Not what you've done in the past. Just you. The most loving,
kind, sweetest, and caring boy I have ever known. And don't even get me
started on how cute he is." he giggled lightly.

I giggled in reply, but said nothing else. He just held me in his arms.
We stood by the door just listening to the chatter that was happening.
But as I listened more intensively, I could tell this was no ordinary
chatter. No. This was arguing. And then I heard my name being thrown
about.

"You know what? You don't need this right now. I'm going to go ask my
aunt if we can go in one of her guest rooms. I'll be right back, babe."
Jared said. It was hard for me to let him go, but I had to.

"All right,"

He walked away and entered in the kitchen. The talking didn't even die
down at all. But whatever, right? Who cares if they're talking about me?
I...do. Obviously I'm not accepted into this family as of yet. A few
minutes later Jared walked back out and took my hand, leading me upstairs
into a nice room. It was kind of plain, but accented with warmth.

"Argh, I forgot my water. I'll be right back again, babe. Go ahead and
lie down and get comfy." Jared said warmly. But before he could leave I
gave him a quick kiss. He smiled at me and wiped more tears away, then
turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

I took notice of the room. It wasn't that plain after all. Everything
was white, or a lighter color. A flower pattern was on most everything;
pillow cases, comforter, curtains. It was very nice and homey kind of
room.

I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes. My mind was numbing for the
first time since at the restaurant. The sight of those people drinking
and smoking. Then the guy at the gas station with that beer...

No. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm supposed to be quitting all that.

"Okay, I'm back." Jared said. I could hear more arguing before he shut
the door behind him.

"I missed you," I said.

"Aww, I missed you too." he said with a huge smile on his face. I was
smiling too until I heard someone shout "no."

"I'm sorry for the trouble I caused, Jared." I pouted.

"Hey, you have been nothing but perfect tonight. If no one else can see
it then forget them. My grandma is just prejudice. And my uncle, well,
he's just an idiot." Jared said firmly but softly.

"If you say so," I sighed. He sat next to me on the bed and began
rubbing my stomach. I looked into his eyes and then mine started to water
again.

"Baby, please don't cry. I hate seeing you sad." Jared pouted, wiping
tears from my face.

"I'm sorry,"

"No," he laughed very lightly. "Don't be sorry, just be happy. I love
you and nothing will change that."

I laughed just as lightly as he did. "Okay, sorry...I mean...okay." I
laughed a little harder.

"That's what I like to hear; laughter." Jared said. He leaned down and
kissed me. It was the first kiss in hours and I loved every second of it.
He pulled away and we stared in each others' eyes. I loved how his were
so shiny that I could pretty much see myself in them. They were
absolutely beautiful. But the stare fest was cut short as he stood up and
took a drink of his water.

"Jared, um, do you want to maybe try something new tonight?" I asked
shyly. Jared looked at me in disbelief and just smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah,"

"Are you sure?"

"Kind of,"

"Oh, no, no, no. You have to be positively sure, babe. I don't want you
doing anything you're not ready for." Jared said. He sat back next to me
and held my hand. "How about I make you feel incredibly great, then you
can decide on whether or not you are ready, okay?"

"You'd do that for me?" I asked, taken aback slightly.

"In a heartbeat, Kevin."

"Well, all right, but are you sure you don't mind?"

He let out a cocky laugh. "Yeah, I'm sure I don't mind."

Jared pushed my bangs to the side so they were out of my eyes. He leaned
in and our lips met. I parted my lips so he could get his tongue inside
my mouth. Mine went in his as well and we explored each others' mouths;
as if we could find something we haven't before. He crept his hands
inside my shirt and rubbed my chest. I sat up and he took my shirt off,
then I helped him take his off. His body was amazing, so perfect, so
smooth. I ran my hands up his stomach to his chest to his neck, wrapping
my arms around his neck and pulling him back onto my lips. He shifted his
body so that one leg was on both sides of me.

"Oh, Jared," I moaned as he started kissing my neck. His kissing began
to lead downwards across my chest then my stomach and then stopped right
above my waist. I lifted my butt up so that Jared could slide my pants
off. He started kissing my body and again, but went lower this time. His
lips crossed right over my pulsating member. That's when I felt him tug
at my briefs. Again I lifted my butt up so that he could take my briefs
off.

"One last time, are you sure?" he asked.

"Are you?" I asked back.

"Only if you are,"

"Yeah, but aren't you going to use a condom?"

"I could, but I know that I'm your first as you are mine." Jared said
modestly. "Do you want me too?"

"Well, it's up to you." I said shyly.

He moved forward, gave me a kiss, and then went back down. I was looking
up at the ceiling when I felt a hand slide up my stomach. That's when
the pleasure hit me. Not from the hand, but from something warm and
moist. I moaned out loudly and looked down to see Jared's head bobbing up
and down. So, this is what a blow job feels like.

"Mmm, Jared," I moaned.

Feelings of pleasure swept over me and I was starting to drool a little
bit. I wiped the drool away from my mouth and tried to focus on Jared.
But as I was trying to focus, other thoughts popped in my head. Should I
return the favor? I mean, I fell kind of ready. And he is doing me. But
he said only if I was surely ready.

I began to thrust my hips gently as he continued to suck. He sped up just
a little bit, and then at that moment I could tell that the point of no
return was drawing nearer. More moans escaped my mouth as I felt more and
more pleasure sweeping through my body. Finally, I felt it; that feeling
that makes you feel like you're going numb, but in a good way. What ever
way you take it, it feels great.

"I'm cumming, babe." I grunted. "Pull...off...yeah." I felt cum flow
through my dick and with one last thrust of my hips I unloaded into
Jared's mouth. "Ah," I moaned loudly. He continued to suck until I was
dry, which in reality was only a few seconds.

"Wow," Jared said, looking up at me with another huge smile on his
face. He's been having a lot of those lately.

"Wow? No way! That was so incredible! I've never felt like that
before." I panted. "I love you so much, thank you!"

He kissed me on the cheek then laid his head on my heaving stomach. I
felt so relaxed and happy. Jared made me feel this way. How could I repay
someone who's given me as much as he has? I can't. The only thing I can
really offer is my love.

"So, you really liked it? You were ready right?" he asked, leaning up
from my stomach.

"Babe, of course I loved it. And yes, I was completely ready for that."
I smiled at him.

"Good, I'm glad I can make you feel good." He placed his head back on
my stomach. My breathing had finally grown back to normal.

"Well, don't you want me to do you now?" I asked, only slightly
hopeful.

"No,"

"Why?"

"Because, babe, I know you're not ready. And you know what? That is
totally all right. I can wait for you to be ready. However long it takes
just know that I'm right here waiting for it, okay?" Jared said, leaning
up again and looking at me seriously.

Tears swelled up in my eyes. "Okay," I said softly.

"I love you," he said after lying his head back down on my stomach.

After a few seconds I replied, "I love you, too."

Hours later I lie awake with Jared's head still on my stomach. He fell
asleep a long time ago, but I couldn't. And still can't. I keep
thinking of how I reacted to the alcohol when we were getting our food.

I don't understand what is wrong with me. I've never had these thoughts
before when I was sobering up. Maybe I'm going through withdrawals. But I
can't go back, I can't do it. One thing I have to do right now, though,
is go pee. Carefully, I moved a pillow under Jared's head and slid off
the bed. Of course, I had to get dressed before I could go anywhere. I
walked out and went to the bathroom. As I stood washing my hands I looked
in the mirror. My eyes were so red it was scary.

My stomach let out a small growl indicating I haven't eaten in a while.
That was unacceptable to my body. So, I had to solve the problem. And I
did just that by walking downstairs cautiously. Everyone had gone home.
In fact, I didn't see anyone. All the lights were still on, but no one.
Perfect. I didn't want to be stuck in an awkward situation. I crept in
the kitchen and made a plate of food. One bite after another I began to
feel satisfied. But another feeling sank into me. Thirst. I walked over
to the cider cups and drank one.

But I saw it. The wine bottles, the champagne bottles, even a few of the
leftover liquor bottles. They were all just sitting there looking so
innocent. And a glass. But this wasn't a normal glass. It was a wine
glass. The glass sat just feet away from me with what looked like
chardonnay in it. My legs just started moving towards the glass. The
beautiful liquid was getting closer and closer. Before I knew it I was
standing right in front of it.

"I can't do this," I whispered out loud. But my body was telling me I
could. My arm reached out and grabbed the glass. It was now being held in
my hands. "No" I spoke regularly this time. I set the glass back down
and turned around. But before I walked away I dipped my finger into the
glass and sucked what was on my finger. Oh, God, that taste of alcohol
sent a chill down my spine. My eyes shut and I focused on the heavenly
liquid that was on my finger. I was so tempted to take a small sip, and I
fear I would have, if it had not been for an intruder in m world.

"What are you doing?" an old woman asked.

I was rudely snapped back to reality by someone who was just as rude. "I
just came down to get a midnight snack." Literally. It was Jared's
grandmother. The same one that made a fool of me only hours ago. "Well,
good night." I said, walking past her and back up the stairs.

Oh, God, what have I done? I didn't drink the wine though so it doesn't
count, right? I mean if I drank from the glass that would have counted.
But all I did was dip my finger in. And I think I deserve at least a
small taste like I did. I have been doing extremely well with quitting. I
guess more questions will be answered in time. But one question that I
thought about worried me: Should I take a drink?

People are complicated creatures, on the one hand able to perform great
acts of charity, on the other, capable of the most underhanded forms of
betrayal. It's a constant battle that rages within all of us, between
the better angels of our nature and the temptation of our inner demons.
And sometimes the only way to ward off the darkness...

"Hey, Kev,"

"Ah, I was hoping not to wake you."

"You didn't. I just noticed you weren't here."

"I love you,"

"Come here, I want to fall asleep in your arms."

...is to shine the light of compassion.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please feel free to write to my e-mail
given at the top of the chapter, or join my group at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Shades_of_Wisteria/ and leave comments
there, or you can do both; whichever you prefer. Thanks!