Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2012 13:37:13 -0700 From: B.E. Kelley <hailcaesar2011@hotmail.com> Subject: A Light in Dark Places Chapter 6 This story is a work of FICTION. The events described are my own invention. Any similarities to actual events or persons are strictly coincidental. The author retains the copyright, and any other rights, to this original story. You may not publish it or any part of it without my explicit authorization. This story contains depictions of consensual sexual acts between teenage males. It is intended for mature audiences only. If you find this type of material offensive or if you are under the legal age to read said material; please proceed no further. Comments are always welcome at: hailcaesar2011@hotmail.com A Light in Dark Places Chapter 6 I didn't get anymore sleep that night, my dream had scared me to death and I hadn't understood it at all. Connor would never try to hurt me, even in my state of mind; I knew that Connor would have probably been furious with me, if he knew I tried to kill myself. So what was this thing I kept dreaming of, this thing that looked like Connor but clearly wasn't. I needed answers but I was afraid to tell my doctors, I was already locked up in the loony bin; so to speak, I didn't want them to throw away the key. When the sun came up, I headed for the shower, in this way; the clinic was a lot like school. I took my bathrobe and toiletries to the communal bathroom, stripped naked and headed for the shower. Just as I was about to turn on the water, I remembered my glasses and padded back across the tile to place them on the counter. I let the water wash away the nights cold sweat, then I dried off and went back to my room. I put on casual clothes and lamented the loss of my shoelaces and belt. My Converse low-tops felt loose on my feet and I had to keep pulling my pants up. I wondered how long I'd have to be a good boy before I got my belt and laces back. I had to admit, I wasn't off to a good start on that front, throwing up my dinner, throwing the plate at a wall and arguing with a member of the staff, had probably cost me a billion points, I was surprised that no one had said anything about that yet. I resolved to keep my head down at breakfast and force myself to eat as much as I could. I met Tyler in the hall, we exchanged subdued morning greetings, he wasn't a morning person either, and then we went downstairs to eat. I spotted trouble the moment we walked into the dining room, Dr. Collins and Dr. Newman were waiting, with Mr. Perkins. "Peter, may we speak with you for a moment please?" asked Dr. Collins. "Yes ma'am," I replied. "I'll save you a seat," said Tyler. "Thanks," I stated, then walked over to the staff. "Peter I understand there was a problem at dinner last night," said Dr. Collins. "I, I wasn't hungry," I stuttered. "Mr. Perkins says that you didn't eat anything yesterday, is that true?" asked Dr. Collins. "I had some toast for breakfast," I argued. "No lunch and he threw up his dinner..."Mr. Perkins, butted in. "Thank you Mac, I'll handle this if you don't mind," said Dr. Collins, shutting him up. "Peter one of the rules we have here is that patients eat their meals, you need your strength if you're going to get better. According to Mr. Perkins, you hardly ate anything and what you did eat you threw up. Now I don't want to have to resort to a feeding tube but I will not let you starve yourself to death," said Dr. Collins. "I, I, I," I spluttered. "Peter ate, I gave him half my sandwich last night," said Wendy, coming to my rescue. She'd been walking into the dining room and after what happened last night, seeing the doctors and orderly talking to me didn't require much explanation. "Is that true Peter?" asked Dr. Collins. "Yes ma'am, I, uh, wasn't feeling good, I needed to get some air and Wendy brought me a sandwich," I explained. "He threw up on the table and then threw his plate against the wall," Mr. Perkins complained. "Ok," said Dr. Collins, "Peter, I can't have you behaving like that, since you're new here, I'm going to overlook it this time, but in the future I expect you to act like a gentleman, do I make myself clear?" "Yes ma'am," I agreed. "Good, now I want you to eat all of your breakfast and Dr. Newman or I, will check on you at lunch," said Dr. Collins. "No problem Doc, we were just on our way to eat, right preppy?" said Wendy. "Yeah, right," I agreed. "Alright then, enjoy your breakfast," said Dr. Collins, as she and Dr. Newman walked off. "Fuckin kids," Perkins muttered under his breath, then returned to his duties. "What a prick," said Wendy. "Yeah, no kidding," I agreed. Wendy and I collected our breakfast and then sat down at our usual table with Tyler, Kevin and Jacob. "What was that all about?" asked Tyler. "Perkins giving you shit for last night?" asked Kevin. "Perkins was trying to get Collins and Newman to hook Peter up with a feeding tube," said Wendy. "Fuckin asshole," said Kevin. "Well, it's not all his fault, I shouldn't have thrown that plate last night," I blushed. "Probably not," said Kevin, "but I enjoyed it, that guys a prick, he gives everyone shit." "Why don't they fire him then?" I asked. "Because, he's smart enough not to get caught," said Wendy. After that little chat, I settled in to eat my breakfast. I really wasn't hungry but at Wendy's urging I finished my toast, two eggs and a banana. Mentally I wasn't hungry but my body knew what it wanted and it gladly accepted the food. It was Saturday, there weren't any classes or therapy scheduled, and I was starting to wonder what we were supposed to do with our time, when Wendy interrupted my thoughts. "Well, I'll catch you guys later, I have a session with Dr. Robins," said Wendy. "I thought weekends were free time?" said Tyler. "They are, but Dr. Robins was sick the other day and she asked if I wouldn't mind seeing her this morning, see ya," said Wendy. "Would anyone like to go for a run with me?" asked Tyler. "We can do that?" I asked. "Sure, I've gone a few times, it's ok," said Tyler. That sounded like a great idea. I'm used to running every day, I run track during the season and I jog during the off season, my body was screaming for exercise, I desperately wanted to stretch my legs. "Yeah that sounds great, I'll go with you," I stated. "Cool, anyone else?" asked Tyler. "No thanks," said Kevin. "Yeah, I'll pass, that sounds like too much effort," Jacob grinned. I eagerly followed Tyler back upstairs so that I could change. I slipped out of my jeans and pulled a pair of gym shorts over my boxerbriefs. I reached for my tennis shoes but then decided against them. What was the point of running shoes if they were going to fall off because I couldn't tie them? Instead, I took my socks off and decided to go barefoot. Tyler changed faster than me and I found him waiting outside the clinics front doors. "Where are your shoes?" he asked immediately. "I decided not to bother, can't tie them anyway," I explained. "Oh, I've never run barefoot," said Tyler. "It's supposed to be better for you anyway, you get more grip from your toes or something, I usually don't wear shoes when I run track," I stated. "Cool, I'll give it a try, I almost tripped the other day because my shoe kept coming off," said Tyler. He kicked his shoes off and stashed them behind a column. "Think they'll be safe there?" I asked. "Who's going to take them?" he replied. "Good point," I agreed, "let's get going." We started off at an easy pace, the clinic sat on a large piece of property and following the path along the wall made a decent track. We were quiet at first but then Tyler started to open up a little. "So you're on the track team?" asked Tyler. "Uh huh," I panted, we'd picked up the pace a little. "That's cool, what races do you run?" asked Tyler. "The mile, 400 meter relay and the 100 meter hurdles," I replied. "Hurdles, but you're..." Tyler began. "Short?" I asked. "No, not short, but uh, not tall either," said Tyler, diplomatically. "Form is more important than height, besides, I'm not aiming for the Olympics or anything, I just like doing it," I explained. "That's cool then, are you on any other teams?" asked Tyler. "Swimming," I stated, "What about you?" "Oh no, I've never been on a team," said Tyler. "Why not, you're a pretty good runner," I stated. "Promise not to laugh?" asked Tyler. "Sure, I won't laugh at you," I replied. "Well, I was always afraid I'd get a boner, you know, seeing all the other boys in the locker room," said Tyler. I couldn't tell if he was blushing or just flush from the running, but his face was pretty red. "Oh, I used to worry about that," I stated, "but I got over it." "Really? You weren't scared that someone would tease you or maybe beat you up?" asked Tyler. "A little but you know what I discovered?" "No, tell me, what?" asked Tyler. "Even the straight guys get boners sometimes, and sure you get teased a little but it's not a big deal when it happens to everyone," I explained, "you've never had to shower with guys before, not for gym or anything?" "No, I've always had gym last period, I just shower at home," Tyler stated, "I don't live far." "Oh, well that's convenient then." "This is pretty cool," said Tyler. "What is?" I asked. "Talking to you, I've never had a gay friend before," said Tyler. "Yeah, about that, I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience, you're a really nice guy, you didn't deserve that." "Thanks," said Tyler, "I'm sorry about your boyfriend." "Thanks," I replied. We jogged on in silence after that, as we picked up the pace for the last leg of our run. We kicked it into high gear and both of use needed all of the oxygen we could get to breath, we couldn't waste it on talking. When we got back to the front of the clinic, we found a bunch of kids enjoying the lawn and the fresh air. Depression is a strange disease, it's hard to diagnose because you don't always display symptoms. There were kids sitting out on the lawn in small groups, Kevin and Jacob were tossing a football, and they were all laughing and smiling. You see, it's not like you see in the movies, we don't all wear black and talk about the nothingness of being, we can go for long periods of time in relative happiness or normality. Take me for example, when I wasn't thinking about Connor, I felt fine, it was only when I lost myself in thinking about what had happened and the terrible empty hole in my heart, that I felt bad. Tyler and I stopped to catch our breath, then Kevin and Jacob asked us if we wanted to play catch with them. We didn't have anything else to do so Tyler and I teamed up against them. After a while, some of the other boys joined in, like Davey, the boy from arts and crafts, and we divided into teams for a little touch football. Tyler, Davey, Charlie, Kevin and a boy named Jared were on my team, against Jacob, Cory, Chandler, Mason, Liam and Erik. We made Tyler our quarterback and discovered that, for someone who had never been on a team, he had a canon for an arm. We played for over an hour, the teams were pretty even and the lead kept switching back and forth as first one team would score, then the other. We were down on what would have been our 50 yard line, Tyler took the snap and looked for an opening, I raced down the field, our eyes met and I caught the pass. I ran as hard as I could, Liam was on my heals but just as he reached out to tag me, his laceless shoe came loose and he tripped. I dove for the end zone and made the touchdown. Some of the girls who had been watching us play, cheered and my team joined me in a little victory dance. When we were done, we all shook hands and headed off to clean up, I saw Wendy sitting with her legs stretched out on the grass and stopped to join her. "That was a surprise, I wouldn't have figured you for a jock," said Wendy. "I'm not really, we were just having fun," I replied. "I don't know, that last touchdown was pretty graceful," Wendy giggled, reaching out and pulling some grass out of my hair. "Nope, Connor was the real jock, not me," I sighed. "Connor?" she asked. "Yeah, my boyfriend," I replied. "Wow, you're full of surprises, I wouldn't have figured you for having a boyfriend either," said Wendy. "I don't anymore," I said, looking down, "he died." "Oh," said Wendy, "do you want to talk about it?" "Not really, not now," I stated. "That's ok, anytime you want though, I'll listen," said Wendy. "Thanks, so uh, I never asked where you were from," I stated, changing the subject. "Bethesda," said Wendy. "Ok, where's that?" I asked. "Maryland, it's a D.C. suburb," said Wendy. "Oh, right," I nodded. "You're not really from Washington, are you?" asked Wendy. "No," I shook my head. "I didn't think so, when I first asked you, you started to say something else, I could tell," said Wendy. "Yeah, Pittsburgh," I stated, "but I wasn't lying, my parents do have a house in Georgetown and I'm there a lot." "Gotcha, so who's the politician, mom or dad?" asked Wendy. "How did you know that?" I asked. "It's not hard to figure out, why else would you be from Pennsylvania and have a house in D.C.?" said Wendy, "It's not exactly a hot vacation spot." "Yeah, true," I agreed, "my dad's a senator." "That's cool, why are you hiding that from everyone?" asked Wendy. "I don't know, it's just, well, ok, my dad, he's a Republican right, and I'm gay," I babbled. "So?" said Wendy. "So I've always kept that from my parents but with Connor's death, well, they know now and I just don't want it getting out because I don't want someone using it to hurt my dad, does that make sense?" I asked. "I understand, if it becomes public then the extreme right of your dad's party might come after him for not having the right family values if he supports his gay son, or you've got the extreme left who might use it for their own purposes," Wendy reasoned, "it must be hard for you." "Yeah," I agreed. "But I don't think you have to worry about anyone here, they kinda have their own problems, you know what I mean?" she stated. "Yeah, I do, still, you won't say anything will you?" "Nope, it's not my business and I really don't think it's a big deal anyway, I was just curious," said Wendy. "Cool, hey Wendy?" I asked. "Hmmm?" she replied. "Why are you here?" I asked, I'd told her enough to figure out I was here because of what happened to Connor, but I couldn't get a read on her. "Come on, it's lunch time and you need to eat," she replied. I took the hint, she didn't want to talk about it and I wasn't going to push it. Instead, I followed Wendy back inside and into the lunch line. I collected my soup and sandwich and since Dr. Newman came in to check on me, I tried to eat it enthusiastically. When my plate was clean, he gave me an approving smile and went about his usual Saturday business. I didn't have anything to do after lunch, so I took another shower, to wash away the dirt and grime from running and football, then lie on my bed to read. I'd hardly slept the night before and I ended up taking a dreamless nap. I woke up with my glasses askew but feeling refreshed. It was Dr. Collins turn to check on me, at dinner that night, so I once again forced myself to eat. She left when she was satisfied that I had eaten enough, then Wendy reached over and patted my thigh, under the table cloth, as if to say "good boy." After dinner, I joined Wendy and Tyler in the music room for arts and crafts. Wendy went to her painting, Tyler sat in the chair with his book and as I sat at the piano, thinking of what I'd like to play, Davey joined me with a few requests. Davey was thrilled when I spent the next couple of hours playing song after song for him and when it was time to retire to our rooms, I noted smiles on several other faces as well. Even though I'd had a nap, it had been an activity filled day and I drifted off to sleep, just as my head hit the pillow. It wasn't long before the dream started again. Just like the night before, I found myself holding Connor in my arms, he woke up and led me out into the water and when I started to protest, his beautiful face morphed into this decaying monster that tried to drown me. I felt the sea pulling me down, wrapping itself around my legs like hands and fingers growing right out of the ground. I woke up drenched and shivering. I grabbed my glasses off the nightstand, then looked at the clock, it was only midnight but there was no way I could go back to sleep, not then anyway. I got up and stuck my head tentatively out the door, I wasn't supposed to be out of bed but I didn't see anyone and didn't think anyone would care if I wandered around a little. I reached into my bag and pulled out a baseball, I don't play the sport but sometimes I like to toss it up and catch it while I walk, I don't know, call it a distraction. I was wandering through the halls, playing with my ball, when I came up to the attendant's station. There was an attendant on each floor, charged with keeping an eye on things while we slept. I tiptoed quietly, not wanting to get caught out of bed, when I discovered that Perkins had the duty tonight and that he was sound asleep, with his feet on the desk. I stood there and starred at him for a moment, he hadn't exactly been kind to me, and from what I gathered from my friends, he wasn't especially pleasant to them either. In that moment, something came over me, I asked myself, "What would Connor do?" I felt a wicked grin spread across my face, then I tied Perkins shoelaces together. I stepped back quietly, trying not to laugh and wake him up. After that, I went downstairs. I wandered around the ground floor for a while and ran straight into Dr. Collins. "Peter, what are you doing out of bed?" she asked. "Uh, I, uh," I spluttered. "Are you feeling alright?" she asked, she must have noticed my sweaty t-shirt because she reached out and touched my forehead, checking for a fever. "No, I'm ok," I replied. "Well, you don't have a fever, did you have a bad dream?" she asked. "Yeah," I admitted, looking down at my feet. "Has it happened before?" she followed. "Yes ma'am." "Ok, does Dr. Newman know about this?" she asked. "Yes, I told him about it," I replied. It was an honest answer, I had told him about the first dream I'd had, I just hadn't mentioned the dark turn my dreams had taken. "Alright then, you're not supposed to be out of bed, go on back to your room," she instructed. "Yes ma'am, sorry," I blushed, sheepishly. "It's alright," said Dr. Collins, "oh and Peter?" "Yes?" "Try not to wake Mr. Perkins when you go upstairs," she smiled. "Yes ma'am," I smiled back. I went back to my room and stretched out on my bed, I closed my eyes and tried to think of happy thoughts, something that would help me sleep and maybe keep me from having another nightmare. My room isn't really close to the attendant's desk but as I lie there in bed, I heard a loud crash and a yelp, then "god damn kids." Evidently Mr. Perkins had woken up. I felt another smile creep across my face, and soon returned to sleep, without being haunted by the apparition that stalked my dreams.