Date: Fri, 26 Dec 2008 08:49:47 -0800 (PST)
From: don mumford <thinat20@yahoo.com>
Subject: A SHY BOY'S STORY    Chapter Four (The Surprise)  by  Donny Mumford

		      ....  A SHY BOY'S STORY ....

		       Chapter Four (The Surprise)

Friday at work I was on edge, maybe even slightly nervous because this
morning Jay was putting his undercover "Operation-Todd-plan" into play.
With this plan he claims he'll be able to decipher Todd's true sexual
preference. Jay's plan is a simple one on the surface... he'll approach
Todd pretending to look for a job, and this is all the exposure Jay's so
called "gaydar" will need to do its thing.  Great plan, huh?... what could
possibly go wrong?  I'd run intoTodd first thing this morning and he was as
friendly to me as ever with his arm around my shoulders, patting my chest
telling me that I was "looking good, dude!". I leaned into him during his
shoulder hug and when he felt me press against him, he hugged my shoulders
a little bit tighter and added, "I wish I could take you with me,
Elliot... I really do, you're something special".  Then his beeper went off
and after taking a quick look at it he said, "Later, buddy... don't work
too hard" and he went off to take care of business.  A minute later it hit
me, "take me with him"? Where's he going?  Before I could give that
question the attention it deserved I ran into that tall string bean of a
kid, Alex Cora... he was playing with himself in the employee's cafeteria.
I worked-up my confidence and quietly excused myself to Alex, then asked
him if he'd heard anything about Todd going some place, and Alex goes, "Do
I look like the fucking bulletin board to you? Hey, you're the one should
know before anyone else where Todd's going... and, by the way, how's his
ass taste?"  Alex made a face at me and then went back to playing pocket
ball with himself. I was like, "What the...?", but I let it slide.  Jeez, I
ask a simple question and now I got that tall-drink-of-water playing the
bully's role in my life.  Shit, I hope he tries it again, I'll be ready for
that wise-ass mouth of his next time and he just might wind-up being the
first loser ever to be in a fight with me. That skinny punk don't think I'm
the fighting kind, but he'll find out.  I was pissed-off at his insulting
rebuke of my very civil question.  This is actually a new emotion for me,
being pissed-off I mean.  In the past I'd simply be relieved when a
confrontation didn't necessitate a fight and now I'm planning on one. Jay's
helped me gain confidence in myself, for sure ... but, I still got a long
way to go.

Speaking of Jay, here he comes walking through the automatic doors right
now.  What the hell's he wearing?  I'm sure he thinks he's chosen a very
sensibly conservative outfit, like someone would wear on his way to a job
interview.  Oh man!  He had a chocolate colored striped beanie on his head,
pulled down covering his ears with just the ends of the long brown hairs on
either side of his head showing. It made his face look real cute by the
way.  Damn, that cute nose of his. For a shirt Jay chose a Quiksilver
off-white, orange-striped jumper top over a black silk T shirt, and for his
pants selection this morning he had on long cargo-pocket pants that were a
taupe color and quite a bit too big for him, dragging on the ground at the
back and sagging to a disturbing degree around his waist showing two inches
of his red boxer shorts.  I could see just the very front of the sandals on
his feet... they were highlighted, as usual, by his black painted
toenails. This outfit, minus the sandals, might be more appropriate in the
middle of winter, if it was ever going to be appropriate that is... ha ha
ha, it's hot out today, in the high eighties.  I laughed to myself because
only Jay would think that outfit was conservative. To me, of course, he
looked super bad, super cool. Actually, I got a funny feeling seeing him
here where I work, kind of made my dick tighten-up a little. Maybe
something was developing between Jay and me... oh hell, I know something
has already developed between Jay and me, I'm just not sure exactly what
that something is, yet. Watching him is fun though, he did an exaggerated
look around, over-acting something terrible.  I couldn't stop myself and
began giggling like mad, but at the same time I had this urge to run over
and hug him tightly. I realized right away how weird it was to think about
hugging him because just a couple of weeks ago I'd be stiffening my body
like a steel rod if anyone tried to hug me. Now I like it when Jay or Todd
hugs me... actually I hug back, it feels good.

Oh my God!... Jay just wandered aimlessly up the stairs to the business
offices... I've never even been up there.  He's gawking all around like a
nitwit, damn if I don't have this super close feeling for him, he looks so
lost. Two minutes later I hear over the store's intercom system, "Todd
White... please report to the human resource office". Fuck! I thought,
"this is too funny!"  I laughed out loud now. That god damn Jay is too
much, he'll probably get my ass fired before he's done. Todd hurried by at
the end of my aisle but he didn't notice me. He was heading up the same
stairs Jay just went up, and fifteen seconds later he came right back down
with Jay in tow, Jay talking non-stop, moving his hands while he talked
like he was explaining something new and exciting to Todd.  I laughed
again... what a character.  Todd had this half grin on his face as he
pointed to a table containing a supply of job applications... the table was
under a huge poster at the bottom of the steps.  The poster explained the
steps one should follow in applying for a job. Jay had to walk around it on
his way upstairs in the first place.  He was obviously saying stuff to Todd
that was so outlandish Todd had to smile to keep from laughing out
loud. When Todd pointed at the job application table Jay smacked his
forehead with the palm of his hand and went into his dumb act, pretending
he couldn't possibly understand what to do unless Todd helped him.  I got
the worse case of giggles and at the same time, looking at Jay and Todd
together, I had a growing boner in my pants. Giggles and a boner, that's
quite a combination alright.  I'm giggling to myself and, at the same time,
groping my ever hardening boner with both hands in my jeans playing pocket
ball much like Alex Cora was doing earlier this morning.  After a bit the
giggling stopped and I was left with just playing with myself... now with a
strong urge to jerk off. Seeing my two favorite boys and my two favorite
sexual interest together got me hot and bothered.  It stopped being funny
and I had to walk away. Damn! What's wrong with me?

Earlier today, in the morning meeting, I'd been assigned aisle dusting duty
which was an easy assignment.  It consisted of pushing a wide cloth dust
mop up and down each aisle, accumulating random debris. It was as close to
"busy work" as there is at Stop and Shop... this morning it was the perfect
assignment for me because it meant I could observe this drama of Jay,
undercover gaydar-psychologist.  Getting this unexpected boner however
required that I push the mop up another aisle and stop looking at those two
hot guys.  Jay and Todd together made the cutest couple... and did it ever
turn me on and, incongruously, made me a little jealous too.  It didn't
necessarily make any sense, but tell that to my dick and my heart.  Next
time I dared sneak a peek at those two, Jay was just leaving through the
automatic front doors carrying a job application form and Todd was filling
out time sheets leaning on the counter of an empty register line. Hmmmm?
It'll be interesting hearing Jay's side of things tonight, but do I have
the nerve to ask Todd about his side of it? No, I better not.

Continuing to push that flat mop up and down the aisles I was again fixated
on the topic of Todd fucking me... this fantasy is firmly in my head.  I
was actually picturing him naked, his slim body totally hairless, his long
bare legs with his long cock swinging between them, his perfect sac of nuts
looking good enough to lick and suck.  The picture in my head was of me on
my knees, my arms around Todd's bare thighs, sucking Todd's balls and
grabbing handfuls of his perfect ass and...  and, then I ran right into
Alex Cora who was carrying an armload of paper towels. The paper towel
rolls went all over the two of us.  "You midget ass wipe, Ellis! Watch
where you're fucking going, dork!"  Without saying a word, I swung my right
arm around in an arch and my fist crunched right up into his solar plexus
with a good hard punch.  "Oooof!" he goes, doubling over and wrapping his
arms around himself.  In a calm voice I said, "Don't call me midget, OK?"
Then I kicked a roll of paper towels out of my path while walking away, all
the time continuing my dry moping as I went.  My demeanor was calm, cool
and collected, but my heart was pounding so hard in my chest I could hardly
breathe. No matter, I wouldn't look back.  I wanted him to think I wasn't
the least bit worried he'd try to retaliate... and, thankfully he didn't.

Feeling sick to my stomach a few minutes later, I went into the lavatory
and sat on a toilet seat in a stall till my heart stopped beating so fast
and my stomach felt settled.  I wasn't afraid of Alex, but I didn't want to
lose my job, that was my real worry.  It wasn't necessary for me to have
sucker punched him of course, but so what, he disrespected me twice today
by treating me like I was inferior to him, and I'm not... and, mostly, I
didn't want to allow a trend to start where everyone treats me like I'm a
loser.  That's how that kind of thing starts up, you let someone disrespect
you and it spreads like wildfire.  Was my reaction to Alex's insulting
comments more of Jay's influence I wondered... or maybe I'm just growing up
finally, or more likely it's some of each.  Taking a deep breath I left my
toilet stall and went back to my dry mopping job.  It wasn't long before I
saw Alex carrying a bucket full of wet paper towels from whatever mess he
had to clean up.  He looked at me and said, "I'm sorry I was an ass back
there, Elliot, but you didn't need to do that to me."  No threats of
revenge or threats he was going to "tell" Todd on me. I stopped,
said... "I'm sorry too, Alex", nodded at him, and walked on my mopping way.
I couldn't help but notice the tone of Alex's voice was more humble then
challenging, and he kind of looked down when he said "you didn't need to do
that to me".  Interesting! Then, turning to dry mop up the next aisle I see
Todd squatting down so low his ass is almost touching the floor.  He was
reaching way in the back of a bottom shelf retrieving something. I was just
about to call out to him when his wallet popped out of his back pocket and
plopped on the floor... the intercom music covered the quiet sound of the
leather wallet landing on the tile floor. Todd's squat and reach was so
severe it had forced the wallet out.  My eyes got big as I bit my lip
thinking to myself, "Tell him his wallet is on the floor, Elliot" but
instead of doing that I stepped back so he wouldn't see me. What to do...?

Two shopping carts, both being pushed by women with toddlers in the front
toddler-seat portion of the carts, wheeled out of Todd's aisle avoiding the
wallet on the floor.  After they were by me I peeked around the corner back
down Todd's aisle and saw that it was empty of people now, but the wallet
still lay where it had landed.  I saw Todd carrying a broken box of
whatever he'd been after so I hurried down the aisle to the wallet and
picked it up.  At dozen miscellaneous papers, credit cards, drivers
license, etc had spilled out. 'How much of a snoop do I want to be', I
asked myself.  Then I thought of the correct answer to that... it was, '
Elliot, you're not like this... scoop it all up, don't snoop, scoop... and
give it right back to Todd'.  That was my plan until I saw what looked like
a schoolboy's handwriting, it read "Love always, Josh".  It was on the back
of a flimsy small rectangle of cardboard that, when I turned it over, I saw
was a photograph.  One of those photos you take in a little booth at an
arcade.  A quick glance confirmed it was definitely a picture of a younger
Todd with his arm around another young looking boy.  With my heart
pounding, I slid the picture into my back pocket, put everything else back
in the wallet and left it on the floor where I'd found it. With my heart
continuing it's fast beating ways, I kept watch from the end of the aisle
to make sure no one except Todd picked-up the wallet.  Less than two
minutes later here comes Todd feeling his pockets while retracing his steps
back to that problem shelf. He goes right for the wallet on the floor,
picks it up as his beeper goes off and, looking at the number on the
beeper, he slides the wallet back into the same pocket it had fallen out
of.  I took a deep breath and leaned against the shelving a minute until I
felt composed enough to continue moping, but starting-up I wasn't paying
attention and I almost bumped into a man carrying a shopping basket looking
for bread crumbs. "That'll be aisle seven, sir" I told him, feeling a
little sick to my stomach again... I'm not use to this much excitement!
First the sucker punch to Alex, and now this act of deceit with the picture
from Todd's wallet.  What next.....?

It was difficult to resist staring at that picture, but I had to resist
because I couldn't take a chance someone would see it.  Where can I go to
look at it safely?  Then, out of nowhere, Bill calls out, "You,
Elliot... you've been goofing off long enough, get over here".  When I
hustled up to him he says, "You're on parking lot duty until lunch.  Get
every cart this time and line them up where they belong."  Great! I
thought... and then said, "Sure thing, Bill. Right away." which took him by
surprise because us boys usually frown at parking lot duty.  Outside and
around back where there were no windows I leaned up against the building
and studied the picture.  The two boys were sitting for the photo, Todd
looked about fifteen but he was holding a chemistry lab book on his lap
which indicated he had to be in eleventh or twelfth grade so he was
probably seventeen years old at least.  Josh looked like he could have been
seventeen too, but just barely.  He had the top of his head pushed over
against Todd's ear and both boys were smiling so hard I could actually
sense how happy they were to be right where they were, and with who they
were with.  If they had been kissing it wouldn't have been more obvious how
much they liked each other.

It was a sweet picture although I didn't think Josh was particularly
cute. Plain and youthfully innocent looking was a more accurate
description.  Well OK, he was kinda nice looking, he had the look of a real
nice boy, that quality somehow coming through in his smile... like he was
eager to please.  Todd looked even cuter than he does now, and that's
really saying something.  I rubbed my crotch staring at the picture.  Josh
had the same haircut I have now, combed exactly like Jay combed mine.  It
was blond hair just like Todd told me it was the other day.  I felt like
such a shit for stealing this picture, but the two of them together there
created such a magical photograph that somehow I couldn't stop staring at
it.  It finally gave me a bit of a headache trying to imagine what may have
happened between them... what had happened that resulted in Josh being out
of Todd's life now. Or, maybe he's still in Todd's life... no, something
about the way Todd referred to his high school friend makes me believe
something unfortunate happened to Josh.  I couldn't stop staring at these
two kids who were almost my age when the picture was taken. I wanted to be
in the picture with them, I wanted to have Josh put his head next to mine
and have Todd put his arm around my shoulders like in the picture.

Then I worried what Jay would think of me for taking this photo from Todd
and that thought led me to try and think of a way I could get the picture
back to Todd without him knowing I looked at it, or that I even know about
it. It's seemed a deeply personal picture, and probably was one of Todd's
treasures... I mean, it was a photograph from at least seven or eight years
ago and he still carries it in his wallet.  At least now I know that Todd
was like me at one time... anyway the photo certainly implies strongly that
he was gay with Josh back in High School.  He probably still is gay but
that doesn't mean he'll want to fuck me.  Of course it doesn't mean he
wouldn't want to do either.  I need to talk to Jay.

The rest of my day went by very slowly which sucks, but today is Friday,
last work day of the week. The weekend is here which means Jay and I will
have plenty of time to analyze the new information we've both discovered.
I can't wait to show this picture to him and learn what Jay thinks his
gadar picked-up from Todd during that pretend job interview.  But damnit, I
was shaking a little because of how horrible I feel about taking this
picture, it obviously means a lot to Todd or, like I said, why would he
still be carrying it around after all this time?  His boyfriend
Josh... "Love always, Josh". Gee, I wonder if Jay and I qualify as
boyfriends now?  We've done sex together, oral sex. Jay calls us suck
buddies... but more importantly he calls us friends too.  I wonder if any
boy will ever carry my picture in his wallet for years and years.  Oh man,
I'm so conflicted about this whole "picture" thing... I don't know what to
think about next, or how to think about it. Twice more during the day I
secluded myself away from prying eyes and studied that picture.  Josh got
cuter looking every time I looked at him, Todd and him together were the
cutest couple imaginable.  This was making me feel so sad, but why...

At the end of the day Todd scared me by taking me by surprise... my guilty
conscience was in control, no doubt.  He was merely hooking up with me
before leaving for the weekend... he always made a point of say "enjoy your
weekend, Elliot".  I could hardly even look in his direction though, never
mind look him in the eyes.  I guiltily glanced at him for a second at a
time.  As usual he rubbed my head and squeezed the back of my neck and gave
me the warmest smile while saying, "I hope everything goes great for you,
Elliot!  I hope you and your friend... Ray, is it?.. hope you guys have the
best time together, ever.  Do something fun, OK? And never take each other
for granted, that's the best advise I can give you...well, that plus you
need to work on getting over your shyness...er, I mean, your cold."  He
grinned and rubbed the hair on the back of my head.  I began to feel more
comfortable... less guilty and kind of special... you know, because Todd
was paying me all this attention at the end of a work week!  Still, I
couldn't look him in the eyes for fear my eyes would get watery from
thinking about the missing Josh.  Todd was hesitating, like he didn't want
to leave, and then he added, "Best friends are very important in everyone's
life... but they're even more important in some of our lives, if you follow
me, right?" I smiled back and quietly said, "Ah, I guess... I don't know.
Oh, by the way, Todd... Ray's my brother.  You said Ray was my friend... my
friend is Jay. The names sound alike so maybe you were... I don't know..."
Todd has the warmest smiles for me, he patted my back saying, "Oh yes, it's
Jay... Jason, you told me, that's right.  Sorry I mixed them up. You're
lucky, a best friend and a brother. Good for you"... then he nodded his
head at me and, with a sad expression on his face said, "Take care Elliot!
I love your new haircut, did I tell you that?"  I nodded my head that he
had and he chuckled in a way that seemed sad somehow as he walked away. You
don't suppose he's sad because he lost that picture, do ya? Maybe Jay and I
can come up with a way to get it back into Todd's wallet without him
knowing I took it.  It upset me seeing Todd sad like that. Damn it!... life
is tough sometimes.  Why can't things go along all "nice" like once in a
fucking while... huh?

At home I got a cell phone call from Jay saying, "Come over for dinner
tonight, Elliot.  We need to talk."  It was fine with my Mom if I ate out,
especially since Ray was already out for the evening. I'm guessing she'll
be having cocktails with her girlfriends from the hospital twenty minutes
after I leave.  Dad won't be home until Saturday night, he's in Vermont
right now.  I cleaned up a little, taking special care with my hair, and
went right over to Jay's.  His Mom had cooked us fried chicken, creamy
mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob.  Nice!  We drank ice tea and had a
nice dinner without bringing Todd up even once. That's because Jay's mother
never stopped talking long enough for Jay or me to get a word in, which was
fine with us... that allowed us to concentrate on eating a great deal of
that dinner, cole slaw too... I forgot to mention that. The more she talked
the more Jay and I ate. Wow!, she cooks a great fried chicken dinner.  We
ate it all, sharing the last chicken leg by passing it back and forth as
Jay's Mom shook her head at how silly we were acting.

After thanking her for dinner ten times Jay and I were up in his room
finally ready to compare notes.  He told me in no uncertain terms that his
gaydar had strongly indicated that perhaps Todd is gay or bi, but on the
other hand he could be straight.  Believe it or not, Jay was serious when
he said this.  I laughed till tears ran down my face because he wasn't
realizing how stupidly useless his conclusion was. He looked at me with his
hands spread and this expression on his face of "What...?" until it dawned
on him he hadn't found-out shit.  We laughed with our arms around each
other for a bit and then turned it into a hug from which I whispered, "You
think we can do you-know-what again tonight" Jay took a husky breath and
said, "I hope so.  You kind of get me hot, Elliot... as a friend, I mean.
You know what I mean, a gay friend.  Ya know?"  The sides of our faces were
together for a little bit and it was very nice.  Jay's face is so smooth,
there's just something so extraordinarily sexy about him.  I don't know
what it is unless, like I guessed before, maybe it's the way he smells. It
gets me so hard and that feels good, I know that much.  Taking a big breath
I said, "I got a surprise for you Jay" and I pulled out the picture.

Jay's eyes got big when he read the inscription, he mumbled, "That's a
young Todd alright, and my guess is the other boy could be Josh. Hey, this
could be a clue, Elliot."  This time Jay was fooling around, making fun of
himself about his first worthless conclusion about Todd.  I said, "No shit!
Ya think?" and we both laughed.  He goes, "OK dude, the smoking gun. Now,
all we need to do is get him to fuck you. Piece of cake, right?  By the
way, how the hell did you get this pic?"  I told him and Jay goes, "Ohhhh,
I must be a bad influence on you Elliot.  The old Elliot would never be so
sneaky... hey, didn't I tell you never to change? You were perfect just the
way you were."  I said, "No I wasn't. What can we do... you got any ideas
how we can get this picture back in Todd's wallet without him knowing?  And
then, right after that, get him to fuck me." Jay was like, "These are not
small matters my horny friend.  I'm a genius at cutting hair, yes, this is
true... but alas, I'm stunningly stupid at anything involving wallets or
getting someone to fuck you."  We were acting goofy because we had not a
single idea how to accomplish either objective. Coming out of left field,
without giving it a second thought, I mumbled, real quiet like, "You ever
think you might want to do it to me?  You know, rear-end me like I want
Todd to do."  I didn't know what to expect, but what I heard was a
surprise.  Jay got real serious telling me that I'd already become the
best, best-friend in his life ever and how he didn't want that to ever
change.  Then he pumped me up about how cute and sexy I was and how lucky
some boy is going to be....  It was all leading up to the fact that Jay was
strictly a "bottom" where anal sex is concerned.  He couldn't help me with
this situation and it wasn't because I wasn't desirable enough or anything
like that, he simply was incapable of doing "it" to me.

Jay was talking fast explaining, among other things, that he had very
little experience with fucking to start with... two times total. "The thing
is Elliot, if I could ever do it, I'd do it with you, but I can't.  I have
this wicked strong-controlling phobia about my ass, your ass, anybody's ass
because, you know... that's where shit comes from. It's an anal weird
thing, a subconscious thing" He looked so distraught about letting me down
I kept shaking my head meaning, 'No, don't worry... it's alright'.  He
shrugged while adding, "I don't know if anyone else in the world is like me
about that, but I can't even pretend that I'd be able to do it to you
Elliot, and certainly I'd never do it to anyone else. Of the two times I
was "done", one was very nice and I climaxed in a very hot way, but the
other time was a disaster, it really hurt me. I was bleeding and other
stuff I don't want to gross you out with.  So, I know you've got this quest
to get fucked and it hurts me that I can't do it for you, but I just
can't... not even for you who I'd do just about anything else in the world
for".  I reached over and squeezed his hand saying, "It's OK, really.  You
are so wonderful to me, Jay... you're the best friend anyone could dream of
having".

It was quite a revelation though, he couldn't fuck anyone.  I'd never given
a thought to the possibility that a person would have such an aversion to
the asshole, but thinking about it some... well, like Jay says, that's
where the shit does comes out, no argument there. Naturally I commiserated
with Jay until I'd convinced him I totally understood his position and it
doesn't change my feelings for him even a tiny bit, "You're definitely the
best friend I ever had Jay... hands down, dude.  I think you're so cool, I
really do".  I understand everyone has different hang-ups... I certainly
have more than my share.  My hang-ups do not include the asshole though,
the fact that shit comes out of that hole doesn't bother me all that much.
I mean, I'm not looking to smell, taste, or play with shit, but a clean or
mostly clean asshole intrigues me.  Jay's aversion though did do something
for me ... it reinforced my determination to keep my asshole real clean in
anticipation of some boy, some time, eventually, actually fucking me. I
told that to Jay and then my obsession to have a boy fuck me began to worry
me, so I said, "Seriously Jay, you know so much more than I do about this
stuff, let me asked you something. Do you thing guys are sickos because
they like getting fucked, or, in my case, because I want to get fucked?"
Jay was rubbing his face with the palm of his hand like he was real
tired... he mumbled that it wasn't me who was the odd one, it was more him
being odd about it then me. I digested that comment while chewing my lip
and hoping he was right because eighteen seemed to be too young to qualify
as a pervert or a sicko.

This discussion had put a bit of a wet blanket on the evening and Jay must
have sensed it so he says, "I'm sorry to let you down, Elliot.  Let's do
something different, something upbeat and wild!  How about we have a hug in
bed... that's really far out there dude, a crazy and wild over-the-top
thing to do.  Ya know, we'll just lay together for a while and chill and
make each other feel better."  Picking-up on his goofiness, I go,
"OK... you want to do it with our shirts off?  What could be wilder than
that!"  Actually, I was thinking about that time we hugged with bare chests
and the feel of Jay's bare skin was awesome. Jay goes, "Oh my God, that's
so sick! How about we do it naked... you brave enough for that? Here I'll
turn the lights out too so we don't need to look at each others pee pees."
He clicked the light switch off and then pulled the shade while I was
undressing.  He was doing those couple of things which meant I was
undressed first and all of a sudden, bare ass naked, I began feeling self
conscious so I scrambled under the covers. While waiting for Jay I smelled
his pillow like I did that other time... same enticing smell, very much
Jay's unique smell... I inhaled it for ten seconds and my dick began
firming up.  The thought then occurred to me that maybe laying naked with
another boy might be as close to getting fucked as I'll experience for
months, or even years... who knows.  But even so, if Jay had suggested
getting naked in bed together even a week ago I can't see myself doing
it. There's no question that I was really loosening up as a result of my
exposure to Jay.  I felt I could say or do almost anything with him by now,
getting naked with him was a doable thing tonight, although just barely.
Jay's influence was primarily the reason I could do it, but actually I was
kind of proud of myself for adapting so quickly too.

We got under the covers, two bare-ass naked boys, and sure, I was a little
uncomfortable at first, but Jay's body is so excellent I got over my
uncomfortable feelings fast.  We're both slim but Jay also has tight
muscles, and the contrast of his smooth, hairless, taut, soft skin with the
almost hard muscles just under that skin turned my stiffy into a full-blown
boner. I like to run my fingers through that soft silky hair of his too,
even the one inch long hairs on Jay's head are so nice to rub.  Jay has a
nice round head too.  It all felt so new to me, being naked with another
boy, but oh so hot.  I found myself not only getting hard as a steel pipe,
but having trouble breathing regularly as well. I was puffing air as if I'd
just run a hundred yard dash.  Jay had his arms around me just as I had
mine around him, but he was under more control then me.  I'm guessing that
this isn't the first time he's lay naked with another boy.  We were laying
on our sides facing each other, breathing right into one another's
face. Jay has real nice breath, he's a pretty clean kid.  Our noses touched
and it was quite exciting for me.  I liked it a lot.  Our penises touching
I also liked a lot, mine was so hard it was ridiculous, and Jay's was
getting there pretty quickly too. Obviously my boner rubbing with Jay's
boner felt exotic to me, such a real-life gay thing to feel.  I found
myself hugging him tighter because, like I said, it's all so new and
wonderful to me I wanted to experience all of it at once. Jay took his time
with everything and lazily played with my hair just as I was enjoying the
smell and the feel of his. Truth is, everything Jay does to me feels good
and I looked forward with happy anticipation to every new sensation he
comes up with.  It made me smile to myself at how much I liked all the
things Jay and I did together... and that made it easier to ignore the one
thing we can't do together.

The two of us were kind of squirming against one another, getting into the
best position of maximum bodily contact.  Jay rubbed his nose against mine
which was different, but nice too... and then Jay whispers in my ear, "I'm
going to kiss you, Elliot.. try to stay calm."  I started to say, "Please
don't, I'm not ready for that" but I only got out, "Pla..." and Jay kissed
my lips.  It was OK, it didn't make me want to throw up or anything... it's
just that I never thought I was suppose to like kissing with another boy.
I don't even know for sure why I felt that way, it was ingrained in my head
somehow I guess.  Jay's second kiss was a wet one and that had me breathing
hard again and revisiting what my objections to boy-on-boy kissing had been
exactly.  The fact that it was Jay of course had a lot to do with me liking
it, but it was quickly obvious to me what a hot sexy thing it is to do.
Jay nuzzled the side of my face going, "Mmmmm, you are so perfect, Elliot.
Were my kisses alright?" I nodded my head "yes" and he returned to my lips
with another wet kiss, his tongue was involved this time as well as his
lips, his tongue went up under my lip and made me moan, taking me by
surprise. I opened my mouth then and Jay's tongue went right into my
mouth. Oh my God this was the best... this was almost hotter then oral sex.
I tried to kiss back like he did it... Jay would repeat his kiss and I'd
try to duplicate it.  We did that many times, without speaking a word, and
that's how Jay taught me to kiss with another boy.

It wasn't long before I was making little mewing sounds because I was so
aroused, so turned on.  Jay did things that I thought might result in him
swallowing my entire mouth, he also did lots of sucking on my lips, one at
a time, and then sucking my tongue.  Both our cocks were leaking by this
time and my head... the one on my shoulders... felt loose on my neck,
rolling around freely trying to touch more of Jay's face. We were wet with
saliva from our foreheads to our chins, and I still wanted more of him.
Making out was more arousing then I would ever have believed.  Jay was a
very good kisser, I don't see how anyone could be better.  Maybe the best
thing out of all the great things about making out with Jay was that we
both obviously loved kissing the other so much.  A mutual admiration
kissing society of two. Our hands never stopped caressing each others body
even as our lips and tongue remained in constant motion.  This was no
little make out, it lasted at least fifteen minutes, maybe more.  It got
hot under the covers and we both worked up a good sweat which added to the
thrill. I was positive I was going to cum a few times, but it was Jay who
climaxed first.  I didn't expect it from him, Jay just all of a sudden
stopped kissing, got his hand behind my head to hold our faces
together... his body was taut, his other arm around me holding me against
him as he humped his hips a couple of quick times making a squeaking almost
crying sound like he was in pain, and then he let out, "AHhhhhhh" as his
cum spurting up between our bodies. Then more creamy cum shot between us
and we were slippery against one another as Jay continued thrusting his
groin into mine, harder now with a more urgent feel to it like he was
desperate for the climax to continue.

All through his climax I held onto him for dear life, this experience was
another first for me, having a boy cum on me, I mean. Cum on my body to be
specific because way back in the old days Charlie had regularly shot cum in
my face, but not on my belly or chest with us laying together like Jay and
me were. To say this experience with Jay was hot is a huge understatement,
it left me weak and needy for more of him. Neither Jay nor I had spoken a
word during the entire fifteen minute make-out, just sounds of arousal and
pleasure. I truly loved all of it except the case of blue balls I now
had... that's a distressing feeling so reaching between our bodies, I
started stroking myself off. After three strokes, Jay, totally out of
breath mumbled, "Let me do that for you, Elliot" and he slowly moved down
under the covers doing little licks on my nipples, then kisses on my belly,
then licking his own cum off my belly button where it had shot up from his
great hard cock, and then sucking on my boner... he sucked the head of my
leaking boner into that mouth of his, the very mouth that I'd been making
out with a minute ago.  Playing with his hair from the second he went under
the covers, I groaned and moaned at the erotic sensations Jay's tongue were
creating on my body.  When my cock finally went into his mouth I made a
high pitch squealing sound like I've never heard me or anyone else make
before.  It felt other-worldly good... like something I couldn't have
imagined in a fantasy.  It was the build-up probably, all the making out
and Jay's hot spunky climax and now him sucking me off... truly a
sensational feeling in my balls, my belly, my legs and my boner. Jay needed
only about a minute to get me to blow a nice load of cum into his mouth,
and some of my load made it out on his sheets too as I was thrashing around
so much my dick pulled out... out between his lips which he had covering
his teeth.  What a climax I had, rivers of erotic sensations shooting down
my legs and up my belly, then after recovering my breath a couple of
minutes later I muttered weakly, "OK, I'll do anything you ask, just let me
live this past twenty minutes over again!  It was so awesome! I had no idea
Jay! None!" Jay was back up from under the covers and I could sense how
much he liked being able to do that for me.  He just rubbed his face
against mine and panted like he was over-heated, maybe he was... I know I
was.

For once Jay was speechless, so to lighten up the mood, I added, "All this,
Jay... and we didn't even need to smoke weed this time" Jay took a deep
breath, leaned in to me so his lips were on my ear and whispered to me,
"Elliot, I got bad news.  I think I'm falling for you... I know I
shouldn't, but I think I am anyway."  I said, "NO! Don't do that Jay, I
need you as my friend. School hasn't even started yet" He kissed me then,
this time a long kiss that made me think that maybe this is what a romantic
kiss is like... there was some cum exchanged from his mouth to mine in the
process.  I couldn't breath now myself as I hugged his body to mine as if
we were fighting.  All my buttons had been pushed, my balls moved, and my
eyes watered, and I was aroused still and wanted Jay to do something sexy
to me again already, I wanted it soooo badly.  I frantically rubbed my nose
back and forth on his face and inhaled my favorite smell ever, Jay's
natural smell.  Truly, within a few minutes of our second make-out I
thought I was going to pass-out from being over stimulated. OK, maybe I'm
falling for him a little bit too, but we need to be friends first! Jay was
squirming against me and running his fingers over my head, through my hair
and licking my face until we both slowly ran out of gas and lay together
with banging hearts and deep, deep breaths.  Maybe two minutes of silence,
laying together like that until Jay mutters, "OK, maybe you're right,
friendship first... let's forget about this shit, who needs it".  I said,
"Thank God, you've finally come to your senses" and we goofed around like
that for awhile, never letting go of each other. But, we actually were
satisfied for the moment... sex-wise I mean. Later, after putting our
clothes back on and sharing a Snapple, Jay goes, "Ya know what... I gotta
take a shower, Elliot.  I'll be quick." When he was done he held his arm
out toward the shower as an invitation for me to take one too, which I
did. All through my shower I thought how nice it would have been to be in
here under this cascading water with Jay. Next time maybe.

Jay threw me a pair of his underpants as I was drying off after the shower.
It was nice I didn't have to put my used ones back on my clean body, and
no, he didn't throw the silk girlie panties my way although Jay held a pair
of those up and said, "Could we sometime, Elliot? OK?" It was definitely a
question, the way he said it, ya know. And, since I was definitely in the
mood to do anything Jay wanted at the moment, I nodded OK, and said, "Just
for you dude, next time I'll wear the silk panties while you blow me. The
sacrifices I must make to keep you happy, Jay" I said it all in a joking
manner... he just smirk at me in a humorous way as if to say, "I got you so
hooked on me, you'll do whatever I say, won't ya boy".  The both of us were
feeling really good as we joked around, we were trying to pretend this
stuff wasn't all that serious.

Both of us sexually satisfied, wicked clean and happy, and it was still
only nine-thirty so we decided to walk over to Todd's apartment complex and
snoop around. On the way we embellished our cum climaxes and tried to outdo
each other as to who had gotten who "off" hotter as a result of our
sexiness. We bumped against one another all the way to Todd's and any
number of times I wanted to hug Jay and feel his lips on my lips again. I
wanted to put my nose in the crook of his neck and smell him with a long
inhale.  Truth is, I was so fucking hooked on Jay it was pathetic. Maybe he
was hooked on me too, like he said, but you couldn't prove it by what we
said to each other.  No sweet talking, more like friendly insults and
jokes.  We were both in totally unknown territory is how I saw it, although
I didn't voice that opinion.  I deferred to Jay's vastly superior knowledge
of matters involving gay hearts and minds to eventually get us out of this
mess...  this mess we'd gotten ourselves into, and I'm not talking about
Todd's wallet either.  I'm talking about how we both might be hooked on the
other, how we both may have fallen for the other, or to put it another
way... what the fuck are we going to do if we've fallen in love with each
other? You know, that small matter called "love"?

There were no lights on at Todd's so we brazenly walked right up to the
front door and tried turing his doorknob, it was locked... duh!  and then
we looked in through the door's mail slot, how stupid we were. There are
many reasons the lights might be off in a home, and yet the person could
still be home.  What if Todd was watching TV in the dark, heard the knob
rattle, came to the door and opened it to find the two of us numbnuts
standing there with our dicks in our hands... me, who Todd treats so well,
standing there with the kid who just today applied for a job with Todd. Jay
and I discussed our stupidity on the way home, turning it into a joke with
ridiculous conclusions of what might have happened had Todd actually opened
the door or peeked out the mail slot as we were peeking in.  We got to
laughing like the morons we were for going up to the door in the first
place.  After calming down and silently crossing the highway to get near
our neighborhood, Jay put his arm around my neck like a buddy might do.
I'm only three inches shorter than Jay, but walking together it seems like
more than that.  His arm comfortably fit across my shoulder and around my
neck at the crook of his elbow.  I took a deep breath because it felt good
to feel his body against my side as we walked along and I loved his bare
arm around my neck. For a few seconds I gave some thought to holding his
hand as it hung there on my chest.  My face got red from just thinking
about doing that. Then I thought about putting my arm around his waist and
while I contemplating that Jay stopped, pulled my face toward his with his
free hand and, as I started to say "Wha...?" his lips grazed mine and I
stopped too, staring at his face.  I could easily see him in the moonlight,
his eyes looked scared as he methodically pulled my chin toward him and his
lips closed completely on mine... we kissed a deep slow kiss with little
whiny sounds coming from our throats.  In ten seconds my cock was as hard
as it can get, it rubbed against Jay's hard boner, our hips gently
thrusting against one another.  I felt like crying it was so intense, like
we wanted to crawl inside each other's body.

Standing there, under a tree on the sidewalk of the street Jay lives on,
the kisses lasted only a short while... we were too exposed here.  Jay
dragged his lips across my cheek and held the side of his face next to mine
breathing deeply, then in a hushed voice he quietly said, "This is crazy,
Elliot.  I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.  There's something about you
I can't get enough of... maybe it's a lot of things that I can't get enough
of and maybe I just never felt like this before, so I'm lost.  It hurts, I
think... oh shit!  I don't know what I'm talking about" and without me
saying a word to that, still standing almost under a street light, we went
back to our make-out, hotter then ever.  Jay's mouth seemed so perfect to
me, so desirable, his spit, his tongue, his fabulous lips, and the
over-riding smell of it all... Jay was sexily yummy to me beyond anything I
ever imagined.  It wasn't long before Jay made those sounds like he was in
pain, then the desperate humping against me in a dry-dock fucking way, and
finally one last big hump that he held up against me as he climaxed in his
pants, groaning and panting, and a lot of squirming against me.  I had the
blue balls problem again, I simply couldn't spontaneously cum in my
pants... not yet I couldn't. We held onto each other trying to recover from
the incredible stimulation, the sexual high of a lifetime it seemed to me.

Then, with Jay's arm still around my neck we slowly walked the block to his
house without talking.  Back in Jay's bedroom, without discussing it, he
helped me pull down my pants and I stepped into the silk panties he handed
me... the same ones he'd cum in last time we used them. They hadn't even
been washed.  I'd agree to do the panties "next time"... but, of course I
didn't realize next time would be an hour and a half after I made the
promise. Please don't get me wrong though, I didn't mind at all and the
cum-dried panties were surprisingly sexy.  I would have put them on my head
if Jay wanted me to.  Jay, by the way, was just about hyperventilating
seeing me in the panties again.  He carefully caressed my cock and balls
through the thin material with one hand and he groped himself with the
other. If he cums again I'm calling the Guiness World Records people.  He
was on his knees, me standing in front of him with my legs slightly spread
and both my hands playing with that soft silky hair of his.  He caressed my
nuts through the panties, the panty scratched me some as they were sort of
crusty with Jay's dried cum.  Jay caressed my boner now and keeping clear
of my asshole squeezed my buttocks until I was ready to scream from needing
to cum.  When I felt I just had to climax and was ready to jerk myself off
Jay casually pulled the waistband of the panties down to hook under my nuts
and sucked my bare cock in an excellent manner for about thirty seconds at
which time I squealed his name out and shot a small stream of cum-light
directly into his mouth. It felt like I maybe shot a couple more spurts but
they may just have been phantom ones, if there is such a thing.  I'd cum a
ton earlier so my nuts were scrambling to catch-up for this latest
climax... that's OK, it felt mighty fine.

Jay and I talked a little bit after cleaning ourselves up.  He changed his
underpants, but I couldn't talk him into putting on the girlie panties, "Oh
my God, Elliot" he said, "I think I'm finally satisfied... for the moment,
I mean" and we chuckled because we knew we'd been pretty wild tonight and
as hard as it might be for us to imagine, soon we'd be ready for more.
Only problem with that is that Jay isn't going to be around for a few days.
He and his Mom are leaving early tomorrow morning to make the seven hour
drive to Wildwood, New Jersey. That's the great summer resort area on the
Atlantic Ocean that they'd be spending a short vacation at.  It was also
where his Mom's sister and her family lived.  Jay's cousins were both
girls, but he said he gets along with girls fine.  The cousins know he's
gay and no problems with that.  Jay had only been to Wildwood once before,
but he remembers the place rocking, especially the boardwalk at night.  I
was invited to join them but my job at Stop and Shop wouldn't allow it.
Jay and his Mom will be away for just the three nights anyway, and frankly
that's a lot of driving down and back for a three day vacation so I wasn't
too disappointed I had to miss it.  I'll miss Jay for real though.  Another
thing, the day after he gets back is our first day as seniors at Framingham
high School so that's cool too...  and ya know, this year I'll have someone
to walk to school with.  Maybe we'll even be in the same homeroom, wouldn't
that be cool.  I know we'll have some classes together because we're both
in the Academic program.

Jay was maybe a touch dramatic when I left for home that night, but as soon
as I walked out of his house I felt dramatic myself with the realization
sinking in that I wouldn't be seeing him for three days.  I wanted to go
back in and let Jay be dramatic all over me if he wanted. He's come to mean
so much to me now and we've only known each other a month or so... how are
we going to feel about each other in two months, I wonder.  I'd managed to
get by in life without having a friend till now, and I've certainly managed
without a sex buddy till now too, but after I've experienced having both, I
can't imagine surviving without either of them.

In bed that night I felt emotionally drained just from reliving in my head
Jay's and my sexy night, it had me truly amazed it even happened. Before
leaving for my house earlier, Jay had held my face between his hands and
assured me his number one priority is that we maintain our best friend
status no matter what.  He assured me everything will be OK, that we hadn't
gone too far with anything... we're fine and all that, and when I started
to say, "But I think I lov..." he jumped in and goes, "No no no,
shhhh... we're best gay buddies and number one best friends.  That's what
we are". Then he gave me a last kiss which I was hoping wouldn't be the
last. Hmmmm? I'll depend on Jay to know what he's doing though, I have no
choice in the matter since I sure as hell don't know what we're doing.

By the time I woke up at eleven o'clock Saturday morning, Jay and his Mom
had been on the road for three hours.  For the first time in over a month I
had nothing to do today.  Without Jay to hook-up with it's back to how it
use to be everyday for me.  I lay in bed thinking about that for
awhile... reminding myself to never take Jay for granted.... that's was
Todd's advise too.  When I finally got up and was finished my morning
bathroom ritual I lazily sauntered into the kitchen to get something to
drink. Ray was finishing his lunch. Remembering how Ray has been nice to me
recently I dared to joke with him by saying, "You eat grilled cheese
sandwiches for breakfast, Raymond?"  He actually chuckled and said, "Yeah,
what a dick I am eating lunch at twelve-thirty in the afternoon."  I
chuckled too as I got a carton of orange juice from the frig.

Ray was gazing at me funny like and said, "You're really looking good
lately, Elliot... damn!  Good for you, dude."  It's so unusual for him to
say nice things to me, and this must be about the tenth nice thing he's
said to me in a row recently, it really had me puzzled... this is very new
behavior.  I tried to be cool, giving him a noncommittal smirk because I
never know when he might turn on me again. I thought about all the fights
we'd had with each other... although two years younger, Ray's at least
three inches taller and twenty pounds heavier than me.  No wonder I never
won a fight with him.  Then, amazingly, he actually asked how I was
doing... he never cared how I was doing before.  We have our own bedrooms
now so maybe he misses me a little... hard to believe that's what this is
all about though. On his way out the door he actually ruffled my hair like
he did when I was in bed a few mornings ago, then he stopped, thought about
something for a second and said, "Ya know Elliot, one of my new buds, Kevin
Turner... he's one really cool, wild dude. He and I did some weed last
night and he told me some more details about this thing he's been talking
to me about lately.  It's about him and his little brother doing this thing
together once in a while.  Kevin's trying to get you and me to join them
one of these times, but if we do you'll need to be the little brother.  You
know, cause you're smaller than me, and anyway I've sorta always treated
you like my little bro anyway, right Elliot?  What do ya think, can you be
my little bro with this too?"  He was grinning and making it sort of a
fun-sounding thing. I was quite flattered that Ray wanted to do something
with me, so immediately I said, "you got it Raymond, I'm the little
brother."  He told me again, like he was making a big exception just for
me, that it was Ok for me to call him Ray if I wanted to.  I was just
getting use to calling him Raymond by now, but I smiled and nodded my head
and said, "Thanks, Ray" and he actually squeezed my nose like you might do
to a seven year old as he said, "You'll be perfect for my little bro".  And
then he was out the door. I'm thinking, "What the...?  Two-on-two
basketball maybe, but you don't need little brothers for that."  Whatever
the fuck, it's just nice Ray and I are finally getting along... it's got to
be we're both growing-up finally.

I watched him through the window as he got in that fat kid's shit-box car.
And, no shit, I gotta admit, Ray mussy my hair and pinching my nose like
that... damn if I didn't start getting a stiffy cause he's kinda hot, ya
know.  I'm gay and so it's not unusual I recognize that he's a cute kid,
brother or not... so, a stiffy shouldn't surprise me.  He's really been
looking hot to me lately... it's weird, but the more gay exposure I'm
experiencing with Jay the more I seem to be noticing Ray, especially since
he has that neater look he's been showing off recently.  It's mostly his
change from that outlaw looking wild mane of a hairdo he use to have to the
new short haircut, but also, the guys in his new posse seem to dress better
then Ray use to, and Ray is following their lead.  I leaned back in my
chair dreamy-like, thinking... "It's all good lately, my life I mean. This
is the way real life should be". A few minutes later I realized I was
bored.  Being with Jay so much of the time recently has spoiled me.

Tried the TV for the first time in awhile but nothing interesting was on
during the day.  The Red Sox weren't on until tonight.  I spent a nice hour
surfing the "net" and then another hour doing "youtube" music
videos. Sometimes the quality isn't very good, but it's free and you can
try out tons of new songs!  Even this got boring after awhile.  Mom was
cleaning the house on her day off so I thought I'd better get the hell out
of there before she puts me to work.  To kill some time, I did a leisurely
walk to Todd's apartment complex again and then walked all around the
outskirts of it looking for that BMW from the other night. On my way back I
saw Todd.  He was washing a late model Volkwagen Beetle.  That must means
the BMW belongs to his swisher friend which makes sense since he's the one
who drove when they left that night... wonder where they went?  I pulled
out the picture of Todd and Josh.  In the sunlight Josh looked better, it
wasn't a very good quality picture in the first place so maybe he's cute in
real life.  Hidden behind a number of shrubs, wondering if Todd ever fucked
Josh, I watched him washing his car until he finished.  When he went inside
I walked home and lay on my bed pissed at myself for being a stalker, and
pissed because I stole a prized possession from someone I basically adore,
if that word isn't too gay to use.  Funny thing... Jay had me feeling so
sexually fine all of twenty hours ago that I still didn't even feel the
need for jerking off.

After dinner I watched the baseball game and I actually entertained the
though that Ray might ask me to do something with him tonight... my brother
and me getting along! Awesome.  He didn't ask me though, he went to the
Mall with his posse and they're too young for me to hang with.  The
difference between sixteen year old boys and eighteen year old boys, in
reality, is about ten years. Then I laughed at myself because age
difference or not, I'll be the little brother in whatever game Kevin and
his little brother were playing...  not that I'm thinking about not going
along with Ray.  Oh, I'm going with him alright... because life around here
is much nicer with Ray and me are being buddies as well as brothers.  I'd
like to be closer to Ray anyway, fuck! we'll be brothers our whole life.
Can't help but wonder what it is that Kevin and his bro do together that
Ray and I could join in doing with them.  Probably something to do with
booze or pot because Ray refers to Kevin and him sneaking that shit on a
regular basis.

Sunday I got up late again and moped around in my room, missing Jay.  I
still didn't have a strong urge to jerk off, mostly because jerking off now
didn't seem nearly as hot as it use to, doing something with Jay is what
sounded hot.  Oh my god, making-out with him Friday night was so good to
think about I finally did get a boner thinking about it.  Then I thought
about me fucking Jay. He couldn't fuck me because of his asshole phobia,
but he's already been fucked twice, one good experience and one bad.  I'd
do him so nice it would be a good experience, that's if I knew what was
involved in "doing him nice".  It looks fairly straight forward in the
videos, but I know that nothing is straight forward when you get right down
to it... there are always little things you need to know that only come
with experience. That brought me right back to thinking about Todd fucking
me and all together it was enough to finally get me horny and hard and I
did a slow, great jerk-off, but without the vegetables this time.  At
climax I'm like... WOW! That was good.  Then I lay on top of my bed and
thought, yeah... that was good, but how about compared to Jay sucking me
off through girlie panties, or me making Jay cum in his pants from just
kissing in our make-out, and stuff like that!  Now, that's hot baby, not
just good...  Oh shit, I guess I'm missing Jay a lot more than I want to
admit so for something to get my mind off him I went outside and walked
around. Finally I wandered toward Super Stop and Shop which is opened every
day except Christmas.  I'll buy some fruit, that's what I feel like, some
fresh grapes or a crisp apple.  At last, something to do. Inside the store
it was wicked busy.  I'm thinking, 'on a Sunday?' but there sure were lots
of people here. I spotted a number of the kids I work with during the week
who were also on duty today. I'd start working some weekends myself after
the school year begins, in other words, as soon as next Saturday.

Just for the hell of it I wandered around like a regular shopper, I had one
of those baskets you carry, not push like a shopping cart. Eventually I did
pick out some fruit, I love fruit... and then I got a quart of butter pecan
ice cream, my favorite, and then I stood in the twelve-items-or-less check
out line.  Bean-pole Alex, who I'd sucker punched a couple days ago, was
bagging groceries and a kid I didn't know was running the cash register.
When Alex saw me he looked away, but when he began bagging my stuff he
said, "Hi, Elliot.  Do you want the ice cream separate?"  I nodded that I
did and said, "How's it going, Alex?"  He said, "Good, good... it's good,
Elliot" as I walked away with my stuff I thought, 'Finally, I get a little
respect, a little fair treatment from somebody.  All I had to do was beat
him up a little, hmmmm damn, that sucks' But, ya know, I had this closer
feeling for Alex now, like we could be friends.  I'm going to ask him to
eat lunch with me Monday, apologize again, kinda.... and then I saw it!

How did I miss it Friday?  A big notice on the bulletin
board... "CONGRATULATION TO TODD WHITE ON HIS PROMOTION----- WE'LL MISS YOU
TODD!!!"  In smaller print were the details of the transfer.  The last time
I talked to him was Friday and I remember Todd saying, "I wish I could take
you with me, Elliot, cause you're really something"...oh no, my eyes filled
up. I'd wondered what he meant then, but I never asked, too fucking shy, ya
know? Turning away I hurried out of the store.  Todd got promoted and
transferred to New Hampshire's largest Super Stop and Shop.  He'll be the
main supervisory for the entire part-time and temporary help
department. That meant they'll be someone reporting to Todd that does what
he's been doing here for so long. His last day was last Friday.  Why didn't
he say something to me?  He knows I'm shy and that I wouldn't ask him
anything that seemed like prying.  Did he think I saw the big notice and
didn't care enough to say something to him?  Then I recalled more of what
he said, he was giving me advise and in retrospect it was obvious from the
things he said he didn't expect to see me ever again and he wished me well
in my life.  This is horrible, Todd's leaving... actually, he's already
left, and I didn't know.  What an idiot I am, I should have checked the
bulletin board like they tell us to do after each morning meeting.  Fuck!!!
But, why didn't he say anything to me, why?  And I still have his picture
from his wallet... the one of him and Josh.  And he never fucked me.  My
quest is bust!

to be continued....     Chapter Five (The End)

Donny Mumford             thinat20@yahoo.com