Date: Wed, 01 Mar 2000 10:33:21 -0500
From: Sequoyah <pendor@mailcity.com>
Subject: A Special Place--Part One

Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction, any coincidence is just that, a coincidence.

About This Story:
There are erotic stories and there are erotic stories.  The first are just
jerk off tales where two perfect hot guys discover each other, hop in bed
and have more orgasms in a night than a super stud can achieve in a
week. The other are love stories, stories of real love between two not so
perfect people who might well be average in most ways. Sure, the characters
may have more problems than most and there can have some pretty hot sex
scenes, but amazingly enough, they are still erotic stories when the sex
scenes are rated "R." Don Hanratty's Working It Out under the College
section of the Nifty Archives is an example of the latter. Josh's Bleeding
Hearts under the High School section is another. Both of these have a
message to get across as well. Often the stories posted in the Nifty
Archives do have both a good plot and a good message. Some may be a bit
preachy, but then so what? The point of this is to warn you if you are
looking for a quickie or sex to jerk off by, there are plenty other stories
posted here; this is not one of them. Can't promise you when you'll get a
good sex scene, but can tell you it will be awhile. Do hope you find a good
story and something to ponder from almost the very beginning.

			 A Special Place--Part One

I was in another world, so totally immersed in a Bach piece I had been
working on for several weeks that I didn't see the light flashing
indicating I should pick up the phone/intercom. Accordingly, I almost had a
heart attack when Gertie, the parish secretary, shouted, "There's a
hysterical woman on the phone asking for you. Think it might be Gabrielle
Larsen."

"Thanks, Gertie," I said as I grabbed the phone and punched the button,
"Matt here."

 "Matt, Luke has left a suicide note. It says you will know where to find
him. I don't know what to do!"

 "Call 911. Tell the dispatcher what you have found and to call me on my
cell phone. I think I know where he is and pray God I won't be too late!
I'm on my way." I tossed the phone into its cradle and said to Gertie, "My
God, Gertie, Luke has left a suicide note and his mother doesn't know where
he is. I'm supposed to, and I think I do." I was shouting over my shoulder
as I rushed from the church toward my Jeep.

 Luke's place and mine were about ten miles out of town. I leapt into my
Jeep and pushed it for all it was worth. My mind was also running in
overdrive.  "Luke must have left school early because he should just be
getting home now," I thought to myself as I raced down Old Farm Road toward
our places. I was doing an independent study in music for my final period
each day and I hadn't been practicing at St. Mary's for more than twenty or
twenty-five minutes when Gertie called. "God, please let me be in time," I
prayed, wishing my Jeep would go faster. Fortunately, Old Farm Road is a
farm road and traffic is minimal, so I wasn't worried about that.

 "Why has Luke even thought about suicide?" I kept asking myself. Exactly
the same age as I--we were actually born minutes apart and both would be
eighteen in two months--he was handsome--even beautiful--popular at school
. . . .We have no secrets from each other,"I thought,"or at least I didn't
think we did, but I was surely wrong."

 Suddenly I heard sirens behind me and when I looked in the rear view
mirror, saw flashing lights approaching. About that time my phone
rang. "Yea?"

 "The EMS squad should be getting close to you," the dispatcher said, "I'm
patching you through to them."

 "Yea, I see them right behind me," I responded.

 "Matt, this is David Andrews. Where are we headed?"

David and his son lived on the farm on the town side of the Larsens; our
farm was on the other side of Luke's home. When David got out of the army,
he used his Army college money to become a registered nurse with special
emergency medicine training and he had been with the EMS for several years,
actually since before I was born.

"David, I'm betting money--and maybe his life--that he is below the falls
on the river. I'm jumping the ditch and crashing the fence as soon as I
cross the river bridge. Think that thing you guys are driving can follow?"

"We can sure as hell try," he responded.


"If you can't...."


 "I know, it's three more miles. You go; we'll follow."


I rushed passed the David's place, across the river bridge, and hung a
sharp right, jumping the road ditch. As I crashed the pasture fence, I
expected the barbed wire to snap, but it didn't. Instead, it started
stretching and pulling loose from the posts. When it finally snapped, the
backlash smashed the windshield and whipped through the Jeep, but I didn't
pause. "Please, God," I prayed with my whole being, "let him be here and
let us be in time."

 Reaching the path to the river, I leapt from the Jeep before it stopped
moving.  As I raced along the narrow path through the cane and trees lining
the river bank, I heard the sirens stop and then the sound of the water
rushing over the low falls and splashing into a wide basin before, once
again, entering its narrow river bed and going on its way. As I raced
toward the river, I kicked off my shoes, knowing that if Luke were here, he
was in the river.

 As soon as I reached the edge of the basin, my heart stopped. I saw him,
his nude body, face up, caught between two rocks. Otherwise, he would have
washed over the basin's edge and down the river. I dived into the icy
water--after all it was only mid-March and this water was never really warm
enough for swimming until mid-May--and swam over to Luke. As I pulled his
body to mine, I couldn't be sure, but it seemed as if his beautiful body
was lifeless. Grabbing him under the chin, I started swimming back just as
David and his crew reached the river's edge.

 "Matt, grab the float," David shouted as he tossed it out over the
water. Holding Luke's chin above water with one hand, I grabbed the float
with the other. David rapidly pulled me to the sandy beach. His two team
mates grabbed Luke and started working on him while David helped me ashore
and covered my shivering body with a blanket."I'll grab you something hot
from my kit," he said as soon as I was settled.


While I waited, I looked around at this, a very special place. Suddenly I
spied Luke's clothes, neatly folded, a few feet from me and near them was a
prescription bottle. I quickly got up and ran to the clothes, picked up the
bottle, and called to David, "David, here's something you need to see."

Handing me a cup of hot liquid, David took the bottle and called to Anna
and Jake, his colleagues,"Here's an empty bottle which originally held 35
200 mg caps of phenobarb. That's a lethal dose if they were all here and he
took them. "Is he still alive?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"Barely," Jake replied, "but since we know we have more to deal with than
hypothermia, that's a plus. But to be honest, I doubt he makes it, but
we'll try to get the barbiturate out of him and do everything else we can.

 As he and Anna continued to get Luke ready to transport, I bent to pick up
Luke's clothes. I felt something warm running down my cheek.  I turned to
speak to David when he said,"Matt, you're bleeding like crazy!" as he
rushed toward me. "When you crashed through the fence, you took a barb in
the face. You've got a bad cut there." He grabbed his kit, quickly cleaned
the wound and pulled it together with butterfly strips. "When we get to the
hospital, you will get that checked out. Promise?" I nodded.

 "We're ready to transport," Anna called to David.

"See you at the hospital, Matt," David said as he grabbed his kit and
joined his team.

"I'll get his things, go by his house, get some dry clothes and his
mother," I responded, "then I'll be there."

As the EMS team left, I walked slowed over to Luke's neat folded clothes.
"This spot has always been so special to us," I thought as I bent to pick
up his things. I clutched his clothes to my body, inhaling the fragrance of
the man I loved--I loved as my very best friend as did he me, but more than
that, my great and painful secret was that I not only loved Luke, but had
been in love with him for a very long time, in fact, for as long as I could
remember. I lived with the agony of loving him more than life itself and
the fear that if he knew, at best, our friendship would be destroyed and at
worse, he would hate me. It was a risk I could not take. So I lived, every
day, every night with the heartache of my secret.

Tears streaming down my face, I walked slowly back to the Jeep, shivering
in spite of the blanket David had given me. Placing Luke's clothes on the
passenger's seat, I picked up my cell phone and hit speed dial 1. "That's
exactly what you are to my life, Luke, you're first and all else is
after. Please, please,please don't die!" Gabrielle answered on the first
ring. "Gabrielle, we found him and he is alive,barely. It's not absolutely
hopeless, but very, very close."

 "I'll light another candle to the Virgin for him,"Gabrielle responded. The
Larsen's, he of Danish background and she born and raised in Germany, were
surprisingly, very devote Catholics instead of being Lutheran as one would
have expected. And that raised another question about what my best friend,
a devoted Catholic, had done. Taking your own life, I was sure, was a
mortal sin for a Catholic and would doom Luke to hell. Not that I believed
that, but then I am an Episcopalian, not a Roman Catholic.

 "Call in all you have out to your saints, Gabrielle. Our guy needs all the
help he can get. I'm on my way now.  I'll pick up some dry clothes at your
place and then take you into town. We'll have to take your car, though,
because my Jeep's a mess. See you in a sec."

 "OK, I'll be ready."

 There would be no problem with clothes. Not only did Luke and I spend so
much time at each other's house that we both had clothes in both places,
but we were also the same size. In fact, our fathers once remarked that had
we not been "darkness and light" we could have been twins so far as size
goes.

Luke was clearly "light." Again, given his family background, how could he
be otherwise? Luke was truly a golden man-child--a golden young man. His
hair, so curly he had given up in trying to make it otherwise, was so blond
it sometimes seem transparent. In the sun it shown like spun gold, creating
a shining halo around his beautiul face. His fair skin was perfect so that
the goodness that was inside made his body seem to glow. Hard work on the
farm and the non-jock sports--volleyball and tennis--kept him in excellent
shape, clearly defined, but not grotesque. Also, he and I had started
running together two years ago and ran every morning after our chores were
done before we got ready for school. In the winter we even ran in the dark
and the weather had to be really bad for us not to have our morning run.

 I, on the other hand, was darkness, the son of a half Korean mother and
father who was at least half American Indian.

 As I pulled into the Larsen's drive, Gabrielle ran out to meet me.
Weeping, she cried, " Why? Why? Why did he do such a terrible thing, Matt?
Why?"

 "I don't know, Gabrielle, I don't know and I should have known. I should
have known he was in pain. I should have known, even though he didn't tell
me."

 We walked into the house and I continued upstairs to Luke's room. As soon
as I entered, I could not hold back an outburst of tears as I was
overwhelmed by a tide of memories and the fragrance of the man I loved.
While I had loved Luke as long as I could remember. Of course, over time my
love had changed, had matured, but I kept it to myself. No way was I going
to risk the beautiful friendship Luke and I had since the day we were born.

 Suddenly I realized that I was still carrying Luke's clothes I had taken
from the river, the clothes that had covered Luke's so alive beautiful body
and which still held the scent of the one I loved above all else. Tears
still streaming, I got dressed in Luke's clothes and walked downstairs.

 Gabrielle handed me her keys and we walked out of the house to her
car. While the trip into town was not a race like the one out, my mind was
racing around and around, "Why? Why? Why?" Suddenly it occurred to me that
Gabrielle should not have been home when she had called me. "How did you
happened to be home early today?" I asked Gabrielle.

 "The system went down just after lunch and we were told it would not be
back up until sometime late tonight so I just came on home. I hope in time
to save my boy," she responded as she started crying softly. Gabrielle was
office manager for the medical complex in Concord, our small town. The rest
of the drive into town was spent in silence, each of us lost in our own
thoughts.

 When we reached the hospital, I found a parking place near the emergency
room entrance. When we walked in, David was coming out of one of the
treatment bays and walked toward us.

 "He's still alive, but just barely. Matt, had you not known where to find
him and had we not gotten there when we did, there is no doubt he would be
dead, but he's sure not out of the woods yet," David answered our unspoken
question. "But you, Young Man, need to get yourself over there into that
treatment bay so someone can take a look at your face."

 "So there's no change in Luke," I asked David as we walked toward an empty
treatment bay.

 "None, at least none for the better. He's so close to death that any
change would be for the better or . . . ."

 When we reached the treatment bay a fairly young, good looking woman--hey,
I may be in love with another man, surely you have gathered that--but that
didn't mean I didn't appreciate a good piece of handiwork and God had done
an outstanding job on this woman.

 "Hi, I'm Dr. Bailey. I understand that you took a pretty severe hit in the
face by a pasture fence while rescuing a friend."

 "I'm not sure I would call it a rescue, especially since it looks as if he
may not make it. And, in fact, I didn't even know my face was cut until
David--Mr. Andrews--noticed all the blood."

 "Yes, I understand your friend. . . .What's his name?"

 "Luke, Luke Larsen."

 "Luke is near death, but so long as there is a spark of life, there's
hope, right."

 "Right! Damn right," I responded with all the bravado I could muster, then
the tears started again in spite of my putting every effort into stopping
them.

 Dr. Bailey reached over and put her arms around me, giving me a warm and
comforting hug. Gradually I stopped crying.

 "Now" she said, "let me take a look at your face, Matthew."

 "Please call me Matt. The only time I am called Matthew is when my mom is
really upset with me or when I am in her class."

  Ok, Matt, you've got a really nasty gash there. David--ah,
Mr. Andrews--told me you crashed through a pasture fence and the barbed
wire didn't break until it snapped and whipped back, breaking your
windshield and hitting you in the face."


"Yea, that's what happened, but as I said, I didn't know it until
Mr. Andrews. . . .Look, David is obviously a friend of both of us, so can
we stop this Mr. Andrews bit?"

 I was very surprised when Dr. Bailey blushed a bright red like a young
school girl. "Sure," she replied, suddenly becoming very busy with some
instruments on a tray beside the table. I wondered what was going on here.

 When she turned back to me she said, "David is well-known around the
hospital. Not only for his work, but also for the loving care he gave his
wife Elizabeth when she was here for treatments for cancer two years before
she died three years ago. Did you know her too?"

 "Sure, there are three families of us living on adjoining farms. The
Larsen's live between David and us. David and his son Michael live on the
town side and we live on the country side. But actually, we're like one
family most of the time--except we don't talk much about religion, since
the Larsens are devote Catholics and we are Episcopalians. David and
Michael were very active in their church until the preacher said AIDS was
God's curse on gays and then damned gays and peoplr who supported their
rights. Also, he was never there when Michael and David needed someone
during Elizabeth's illness and death. David and Michael have really been
close to my family after Elizabeth's death. It's a long story, but the
families have been very close ever since before the three men got out of
service."

 "I'd like to hear that story some time. Meanwhile, let me look at your
face. And, Matt, I need to know your full name for this form."

 "Matthew S-a-r-a-n-g upper case H-a-n-u-n upper case P-o-m-u-l
Greywolf. That's my middle name Mom and Dad gave me when I was born. I
think it's probably Dad's butchered Korean, although it may be perfectly
correct. It's a real mouthful and when I was younger, I just gave the
English translation until one day kids started kidding me about it so now I
just spell it and let it go at that.  My mom's Korean, actually half
Korean. Her father was an American soldier who deserted her mother when she
became pregnant. Mom doesn't even know his name since her mother refuses to
acknowledge he ever existed. Matthew Sarang Hanun Pomul Greywolf--that's
what Mom and Dad call me when they are very upset with me or when they are
very pleased with me. I've never figured it out. Ouch!"

 "I'm sorry, but I needed to clean up your face so I can see what needs to
be done. What *is* the translation of you middle name?"

 "You have to promise not to laugh. It means 'Beloved Treasure."'

 "While I can see why kids, being kids might laugh, I think that is one of
the most beautiful names I have ever heard. David has done an excellent job
with the butterflies, but there is going to be a scar on that high Greywolf
cheekbone. Am I correct in assuming your father is an American Indian?"

 At least half. I don't think he even knows what the other half is, but his
mother was a full blooded Lakota."

 That makes your middle names mean even more since it honors your mother
and carries out the Lakota custom of naming one according to what one is,
Beloved Treasure. By the way, are your parents on their way?"

 "Oh, my God, I haven't even thought to call them. They don't know anything
about this since they had a faculty meeting after school today and I was at
St. Mary's so they won't expect me home until about five. What time is
it?"It's almost 4:30"

 They are probably just getting home now. I gotta call them."

 "I'll take care of that," she said as she walked out of the treatment bay
and called out, "Mr. Andrews, could you come here, please?" When David
reached the bay, she asked him to call my parents and tell them what had
happened. Also to ask them if they felt I was mature enough to make a
decision about my face since if anything was to be done, it needed to be
done as soon as possible.

  Apparently David knew what she meant because he came back in about three
minutes and said the decision was mine, then continued talking to my
parents on his cell phone as he walked back to the desk.

 "Well, we are at a decision point, Matt. How old are you?"

 "Eighteen. Well, Luke and I will both be eighteen in two months. We were
born on the same day, but I am twenty minutes older." Mentioning Luke's
name started another flood of tears and their salt soon started the newly
cleaned wound on my face stinging. I realized that Dr. Bailey had not only
been attending to my physical needs, but my emotional ones as well by
distracting me.

 "Well, you're not quite eighteen, but your parents say you can make the
decision. David has done an excellent job, as I said, but if there is not
to be a scar, I need to get a plastic surgeon in here pronto. If nothing
more is done, you will have a scar, as I said, right on the peak of that
Greywolf cheekbone. It will be, oh, I guess about an inch long and
narrow. Hope you don't think I'm being sexist, but I wouldn't hesitate in
calling in a surgeon if you were a girl, but since you are a man (Yes, she
said "You are a man."), given where the scar will be and as small as it
will be, it's your call."

 Look, you're to doctor. You're supposed to know these things. I'm not."

 "Just a minute," she said as she stood up and walked into the hall,
calling David again. When he came into the bay, she said, "Matt needs to
have a plastic surgeon redo that wound pronto unless he wants to just let
it go. You know there will be a small scar, so what do you think?"

 "I think a small scar there would be downright sexy," David responded as
he reached over and messed up my hair. "He'll have all the women in school
chasing him, not that he doesn't already!" I blushed all over at his
comment. If he only know how little I cared about that! But it was true
that Luke and I had girls all over us most of the time, but neither of us
dated more than occasionally, then it was first with one girl then
another. A kind of friends going out, not real dating.

 What do you think, Stud?" David asked, causing me to blush a deeper red
I'm sure.

 I decided more than one could play in this game and said, "Well, Doc,
you're a pretty sexy bundle yourself. What do you think? Which would be
sexier?"

 David laughed and Dr. Bailey joined in the blushing. "Well, I think I'd be
Matthew Beloved Treasure Barbed Wire in the Face Greywolf and let be as
is."

 "So be it."

 Since Dr. Bailey had finished with me, I walked to the emergency waiting
room where I found Gabrielle and Jens Larsen. "Are you ok?" Jens asked me
and I nodded yes. "There has been no change in Luke. The doctors are
holding out very little hope," he said. "We have called Fr. Muller for Last
Rites."

 As he finished speaking, the burly German priest came through the
emergency room door and stopped at the nurses' station. He spoke briefly to
the nurse on duty, the came storming over to the waiting room. His opening
words to the grieving parents were, "You son has committed a mortal sin and
unless he confesses, he will be damned to hell forever. I thought you were
good Catholics, yet you dare ask Mother Church for Her Last Rites for a boy
who had attempted self-murder." Every word he spoke was like a hammer blow
to the heart of his parents and to mine. Gabrielle was weeping bitterly and
Jens was turning white with anger. "I will say a prayer for you two at
Mass, but not for him and his damned soul."

 "Get the hell out!" Jens shouted at the priest and appeared to be
advancing toward the burly man in the collar, "Just get the hell out!"

 "You'll understand later," Fr. Muller said, "then you can come to
confession."

 I thought Jens was about to kill the priest, but Gabrielle held him back
as Fr. Muller beat a hasty retreat.

 Without further thought, I whipped out my cell phone and hit speed dial
three--again, I thought of the priorities in my life: Luke was one, my
family was two, and St. Mary's was three--hoping someone was still in the
church office even though it was late. Gertie answered the phone. "Gertie,
get Fr. Tom over to the hospital at once. I need him," I said, surprisingly
calm. As I put the phone back in my pocket, I saw a gurney with Luke on it
being wheeled out of the treatment bay. Thank God, his face was not
covered, but he looked dead with tubes goes in and out of his beautiful
body. I tried very hard to be brave for the Larsens, but I didn't make
it. My tears started again as I looked at Luke, thinking this may be the
last time I see him alive. And he doesn't know how I feel about him.

 A doctor walked over to the Larsens and said, "We have done all we can for
Luke right now. He is barely holding his own, but he has not gotten
worse. He's being taken to ICU. You may go up and see him for a few
minutes--five or ten. After that, you may see him for fifteen minutes every
hour on the hour, however, I would suggest you go up and see him, then go
home and try to get some rest until tomorrow morning. At the very
miraculous best, this will be a long, tough haul and you need to stay
well. If there is any change at all, any at all, someone will call you. If
you need something to help you sleep, I will leave it with the nurse on
duty here in the emergency room. Do you have any questions or is there
anything else I can do?"

 "No, I guess not, Doctor. And thanks for offering the medicine to help us
sleep. I am sure we will need it and if you think it best, we will go
home."

 "I do. If Luke makes it, he is going to require a lot of you after he
leaves the hospital and there is nothing you can do here now. Save your
strength for when he is going to have to have it. Here's my card. Should
you think of anything, anything at all, that I might do, please call me."
Handing Jens the card, the doctor shook his hand and gave Gabrielle a hug
before he left."

 "Matt, are you ok?" Jens asked as he hugged Gabrielle to himself.

 "Yea, I'm ok, I guess. David called Mom and Dad and Fr. Tom is coming and
he can take me home. Go on up and see Luke."

 As the Larsens got on the elevator, I, for the first time, felt something
in a back pocket. When I pulled it out, it was a letter addressed to me in
Luke's handwriting. I opened it and began to read.

 "Matt,

 "I know you are hurt and in pain because of my cowardly act. Please
forgive me and know that I loved you better than life itself, but I could
never let you know. Every moment I was away from you, you filled my
thoughts and I felt empty and lonely, suffering because I was not with the
one I loved. Every moment I spent with you over the past few years have
been filled ecstasy because I was with you, the man I loved more than
anything in heaven or earth. Yet it was agony also because I was terrified
that my feeling toward you would slip out and I would lose you as a friend
forever and I could not bear the thought of that happening. Agony because
the loneliness and emptiness were still there, just overshadowed by the joy
of my being with you., If loving you, another man, makes me gay, I am gay,
Matt. Please don't hate me, even though when you read this, I will be
gone. I could not go on being so in love with you and never being able to
tell you."

 Since my family, and I thought I, are good Catholics, I was also haunted
by the fact that loving another man was a mortal sin. Fr. Muller made that
very clear Sunday after Sunday. Since I was damned for loving you, hell's
fire held no terror to prevent my committing another mortal sin. To escape
the agony because I can no longer handle it, I have taken a coward's way
out. Please forgive me and know that I went to my death loving you with my
whole being. I chose a place special to both of us. I love you, Matt, my
beautiful friend.

  Goodbye.

  Luke.

 Before I finished the letter, I could hardly read for the tears streaming
down my face. As I read his name, I screamed "Luke!" and collapsed on the
floor. I was not completely unconscious, so I knew someone had picked me
up.  My foggy mind recognized Dr. Bailey and David. "I think we need to
take him into my office. I don't think the problem here is medical," I
heard Dr. Bailey say and David lifted me in his arms. As soon as I was
safely in Dr. Bailey's office, she gave me something and said, "Drink
this." My mind gradually cleared and I lay on th sofa, staring at the
ceiling.

 Dr. Bailey said to David, "Wait outside for a few minutes while I check
Matt out."

 "Also be on the look out for Fr. Tom, please, David. I am expecting him,"
I added.

 As soon as David had left the room, Dr. Bailey said, "Do you want to tell
me what happened?"

 "I'm not sure. About telling you I mean."

 "Had you rather wait and talk with Fr. Tom?"

 "Don't both of you have the same vow about keeping secrets?"

 "Sure do."

 I took a deep breath and decided to unload a big pile of garbage I had
been carrying too long, garbage which might have killed the love of my
life. "I was all wet after we got Luke out of the river and since his house
was closer than mine, I went there to change. When I took off my wet
clothes, I put on the clothes Luke had been wearing before he jumped into
the river, because they were Luke's. After the Larsens left to go to ICU, I
found a letter in a back pocket addressed to me in Luke's handwriting."
With those words, I handed the letter to her.

 She read the letter slowly, glancing at me every once in awhile.

 When she finished she said, "Do you want me to tell you the rest of the
story?" I nodded. "The truth of the matter is, you could have written
essentially the same letter to Luke. Right?"

 I had sat up on the sofa and when she said that, I dropped my eyes to
stare at the floor as I slowly nodded my head "yes."

 "I am not surprised. I have seen an awful lot of guys come into the
emergency room with injured friends, but it was obvious to me from the
first that your feelings for Luke was well beyond friendship, even a very
close friendship. Don't be ashamed of your love, Matt, there is little
enough love in the world to condemn any of it. And look what hate can
do. Luke was told his love for you was a dirty, sinful thing; that he
should hate himself because he loved. And so now he is lying up there
having tried to destroy himself, having no reason for living."

"But he knows that there are people out there just waiting for the
opportunity to kick the ass of a man who loves another man--of me and
Luke. He knows that people get carried away and kill a man simply because
he is gay. Remember the student who was brought in here last year, half
dead because he had be sodomized over and over by a group of rednecks? He
and they went to the same school we attend. But Doctor, to be honest, If he
dies, I can't see any reason to live myself."

 "Oh, there are thousands of reasons for you to live, even without
Luke. But let's not think about that right now. Let's think about Luke
living. Nothing else you have said makes any difference otherwise, does
it?"

 There was a soft knock on the door and when Dr. Bailey said, "Come in,"
David and Fr. Tom walked in.

 David had filled Fr. Tom in on what happened and he had been to see my
parents and they are fine, David told me.

 "Are the Larsens still here?" I asked David.

 "Yes, they have a few more minutes with Luke."

 I quickly told Fr. Tom what had happened with Fr. Muller and asked him if
he would offer to anoint Luke and give him the Sacrament if his parents
wished. "I know that it's not Last Rites for you, but it's the same
Sacrament, right?" Of course, he agreed. He told me as soon as he had seen
the Larsens and Luke, he would come back down and and do the same for me as
he had done for Luke.

 I'm glad Episcopalians don't have Last Rites because Last Rites seem to be
giving up hope, and I still had hope for Luke.

 As David and Fr. Tom left Dr. Bailey's office, another doctor came in. He
was the one who had talked to the Larsens earlier, Doctor Walker. "How's
Luke?" Dr. Bailey asked.

 "I would like to say he is at least holding his own, but I'm not sure he's
doing that well. He seems to have absolutely no will to live--which is not
surprising since he tried to commit suicide; he has no fight. I think he is
willing himself to death. He is healthy and looks as if he is as strong as
a horse, I think he could make it if he just had the will to live, but if
he continues to wish to die, he will. I am sure of that."

 "Paul," Dr. Bailey said to the doctor, "just how far are you willing to
bend the rules?"

 "Hell, Margaret, you know me well enough to know that I don't just bend
the rules, I break them and if or I ignore them. What do you have in mind?"

 "You have known comatose patients who, when they woke up, know everything
that was said and done around them, haven't you?"

 "Who hasn't?"

 Dr. Bailey looked straight at me and said, "I think we can give Luke
something to fight for and a reason to live if you will bend the rules."

 What did she have in mind? Why had she looked at me so strangely?

 Dr. Walker seemed not to hear Dr. Bailey and said, "The Larsens are, I
think, going home shortly. They were about ready to leave when I came down
stairs. As soon as Fr. Tom--I thought the Larsens were Catholic--but
Fr. Tom was up there--as soon as he finished, they planned to go home and
try to rest." Looking at me he said, "You should do the same, Young Man."

 "I don't think so, Paul, I think Matt needs to spend the night with Luke."

 "What in the world are you talking about?" asked Dr. Walker.

 Dr. Bailey looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and picked up Luke's letter
from her desk. She waited for some reaction from me. I thought I knew what
she had in mind and nodded my head.

 She handed the letter to Dr. Walker who read it slowly, glancing at me
from time to time as had Dr. Bailey.

 "When are the assholes of the world going to learn that some men love men
and some women love women and that love is love, period? But what did you
have in mind, as if I couldn't guess?"

 "Paul, Matt could have written a letter telling Luke exactly the same
thing about being in love and the fear he had of losing a lifelong
friendship. Because of their fear and the value they placed on their
friendship, both young men, who were madly in love with the other, were
afraid to say anything. I want you to take Matt up to ICU, throw the fear
of God into Chelsea who is on duty tonight, telling her that Matt is not to
leave Luke's side. He'll have to get out before the Larsens get here
tomorrow morning and someone will have to take care of letting his parents
know."

 "Just what I thought you had in mind. I'll take care of Chelsea and make
sure the nurse coming on in the morning knows to get Matt out before the
Larsens come in. You'll have to take care of the parents."

 "Deal."

As Dr. Walker left the room, Fr. Tom and David came in. Fr. Tom asked
Dr. Bailey if she would like to receive the Sacrament with me as David had
done when he anointed Luke and placed a drop of the consecrated wine on his
lips. The Larsens, of course, expressed their appreciation to Fr. Tom for
what he did for Luke, but as good Catholics did not receive. She said she
would and Fr. Tom said the prayers, anointed me, and gave me and Dr. Bailey
the Sacrament. After we had said the Lord's Prayer together, Fr. Tom
said,"I'll take you home now, Matt."

 I looked at Dr. Bailey, took a deep breath and said, "I'm staying." Both
David and Fr. Tom looked surprised, then looked at Dr. Bailey. "It's ok.
Show them the letter. They need to know."

 David read over Fr. Tom's shoulder and when they had finished, I said, "My
fear may have killed Luke because I feel the same way toward him as he says
he does toward me."

 Fr. Tom simply nodded his head and said, "Well, you have never heard me
say you'll burn in hell because you love a man. If you love him as he loves
you, you have a hard time ahead of you, but your surely have my blessing,
even if it's not official."

 David looked less surprised than I thought, then said, "You know, Matt,
the Larsens cannot know about this, at least not now. I'll be really
surprised if your parents will love you less or treat you any differently,
but you can never know. They need not know until we can sit down and talk
about this as family. You have my love and support as you always have.
Should either you or Luke need a home, you have it. My older brother, whom
I worshiped, was gay. I was eleven when our parents found out. My father
beat him to a pulp while my mother screamed at him. They then threw him out
of the house and told him he was no longer their son and never to darken
their door again. He was eighteen, almost exactly your and Luke's age. I
only saw him once after that. He came by school to see me. When my father
found out, he beat me until I had to be hospitalized. My brother sent me a
note though one of my teachers and told me he loved me, but he couldn't see
me again because of what my father might do. When I grew up, I tried o find
him, but never did. I swore then I could never let what someone was make me
hate them. And you know I love you and Luke as I do Michael."

 When David had finished speaking, I jumped up off the sofa and hugged him
with all my strength while crying like a baby.

 "Dr. Walker is making arrangements; he's setting Chelsea straight, David,
for Matt to spend the night with Luke. Dr. Walker says Luke has no will to
live and it is up to Matt to convince him he has a damn good reason to
live," Dr. Bailey said.

 "Well, I guess that means I have to come up with some reason for Matt
staying here without having the Greywolf pack rushing here to take care of
their young pup, Sarang Hanun Pomul. (David knew he could always get my
goat by calling me that.) I'll tell them he needed to stay for observation
and was already asleep.

 "Matt, you better tell that man you love just how much you love him and
pray at the same time that he hears you," Fr. Tom said.

 When Fr. Tom and David left, Dr. Bailey had food brought to her office and
even though I didn't feel like eating, she insisted. "You have a long,
tough night ahead of you, and it's probably not the last one, we can hope"
she said, "so eat.


By the time I finished eating, it seemed as though it was midnight, but it
was only eight o'clock. It had been about four hours since Luke had been
pulled from the river.

 "When you go up, Matt, you will probably be shocked by what you see. Luke
took an overdose of barbiturates which slowed down his heart, his
breathing, all his body functions. Additionally, he was in icy water which
caused hypothermia, which also slows down the body's functions. It forces
all nonessential body functions to completely shut down so the brain can
receive oxygen. He has a ventilator breathing for him. He had to have his
stomach pumped and infused with charcoal to get any barbiturates still in
his stomach. His body temperature, which was below 85 degrees, ten degrees
below where hypothermia begins, has to be increased gradually. In short, he
looks as if he is not alive and is hooked up to a number of machines. Try
to overlook all that and concentrate on convincing him he has a reason to
live. If anyone can do it, it is you. And remember, he may not be able to
hear you and even if it does, he may well have suffered brain damage and
have other problems. Don't blame yourself if you cannot get through to him,
but don't give up hope. And since you seem to be a religious person, prayer
like hell!"

 I gave Dr. Bailey a huge hug and she hugged me back. "Luke just don't know
how lucky he is and if he knows only half of it, he'll jump up out of that
bed!" Dr. Bailey said.

 "I know someone who is luckier if he lives," I replied as Dr. Bailey led
me toward the elevators to the ICU.


Know this is PG, but there was a lot of things which had to be set up. Sex
next time? In a word, "no." The code says the story doesn't have sex for
awhile (slow) and it is romantic. Hope you enjoy the "no sex" romantic
story this is intended to be!

A Special Place--Part Two should be available next week. Beginning with
Part Two, each part will be told from two perspectives--Luke's as well as
Matt's. In the meantime, feel free to write Sequoyah@visualcities.com