Date: Thu, 24 May 2001 21:21:40 -0400
From: Sequoyah <sequoyahs-place@home.com>
Subject: ASP-51

		     A  Special Place--Part Fifty-one

				 Warning!

     The usual warning applies: This story contains sexually-explicit,
erotic events involving alternative sexualities. Do not read the contents
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				Disclaimer
  This is a work of fiction, any coincidence is just that, a coincidence.

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			    Additional Posting

A Special Place is also being posted at http://go.to/gaywritersguild. Check
it out.  A website from which the real music from the concert--and
"More"--can be downloaded is located at http://aspecialplace.50megs.com/.

Thanks to J., there is now a Yahoo group devoted to A Special Place. You
can reach it at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sequoyahs_Place .

				  Apology

Sorry the posting was delayed so long. Among the usual--busy, "Sons of Oz"
being busy, spring being here and having been away a month, S. had sent
part Fifty-one and I had overlooked the attachment. AS S. notes in the
Yahoo group, here's fifty-one, now hang on for a wild ride!

I still welcome mail at sequoyahs-place@home.com.


By the way, Oz is a magical place with wonderful people, including two of
the finest sons any man could want!!

Sequoyah

	       A Special Place--Part Fifty-one--Mary Kathryn

Every three days I got a general e-mail from Michael, written to the whole
Fellowship. He was having a grand time. He wrote about his talks with the
Abbot, working, playing and the services. He also said he was learning much
about prayer which he was anxious to share with all the Fellowship. In the
personal letters, he told me how happy he was, how excited about the future
and never once mentioned what I wanted to hear about--his decision about
the priesthood. I had once written to ask him about it, but thought better
of it and deleted the question before I sent the e-mail. I guess Michael's
not talking about the priesthood was ok because I didn't say very much
about what I had observed about clergy wives. I mean, they were just like
any other bunch of people. Some were great and one at least was an asshole.

I had always thought Bill was the most outgoing person I knew--well, Jacob
equaled him--but I had never seen him as alive as he was the second week,
during third and fourth grade camp, except maybe on the basketball
court. The kids--boys and girls--worshipped him and he was truly amazing as
he worked with them. He became a kid himself, but at the same time was very
much the adult among his campers. His cabin was teamed with mine and we
often did things together so I got a chance to really know him.

It was also obvious to me that Linda's and his relationship was growing in
depth every single day. They often took a walk together after supper and
while the whole camp was engaged in a common activity which did not require
that all counselors be present. Linda had told me they had discovered a
glade with a brook some distance from the camp and the camp trails. "It's a
great place to talk and make love--no, not yet," she had quickly added.

Thursday afternoon, the central staff had arranged to take the campers into
town for a movie which fit the camp theme. Counselors were told they had
the afternoon off, but any who would volunteer to help shepherd the group
were more than welcome. Linda and Bill had said at lunch they were torn two
ways. They wanted the afternoon to themselves, but felt they needed to help
out. "Look, has the central staff ever given us any real slack?" I
asked. "If they wanted us all to go, we would have been told to go. If they
have some hidden agenda concerning who is and who is not responsible, then
I don't accept it. We have all done a good job and they have to know
that. I'm going simply because I have nothing else I'd rather do. I think
you two are crazy if you don't stay here."

When it was time to leave, Bill and Linda marched their campers into the
staging area and Bill asked, "You'll keep a special eye out for my boys?"

"Promise. You two enjoy the glade," I added with a grin.

Bill gave me that smile that sends Linda into seventh heaven and said, "You
better believe it," as he and Linda, holding hands, walked away. As the bus
pulled out of the camp area, I saw Bill and Linda walking toward the
glade. Bill had a blanket over his arm and the two were walking without
looking where they were going since they were gazing into each other's
eyes.

The movie was nothing special, but the kids enjoyed it while I daydreamed
through it all. I was imagining that Michael and I, instead of Bill and
Linda, were in a forest glade beside a brook.

As we were loading a bus to get back, I heard one of Bill's campers say, "I
know Bill will be proud of us. We were the best-behaved cabin." He was
right.


A Special Place--Part Fifty-one--Linda

While the bus was loading, Bill had gone to his cabin for a blanket and as
the bus pulled out, we walked down the trail toward the glade. It was a
beautiful, sunny afternoon and it was good to be alive--even better to be
alive with my man walking beside me, holding my hand and giving me a
gentle, soft kiss from time to time.

We left the trail and walked through the woods. There was life all around
us. I could hear small animals scampering away, there were birds overhead
and in the distance I heard the pounding of a woodpecker. As we approached
the glade, Bill suddenly stopped and placed his hand over my mouth, then
pointed. A doe and her fawn were standing in the center of the glade. We
watched them for several minutes, then the wind changed and they caught our
scent and bolted into the forest.

We walked into the glade where there was a bright spot of sun and Bill
spread the blanket on the ground, dropped to it and pulled me to
himself. The day we discovered the glade Bill had said, "One day I'm going
to make love to you--all of you, heart, mind, body and soul--here".  We had
talked about having sex almost from the time we got together. Bill had made
it very clear that he was not inexperienced in that department, but had
also said it had always just been fucking. "There was never any real love
involved," he had told me. "Don't get me wrong, I liked it and I miss it,
but that's not what I am about with you." And he had meant that.

We had been together for a while before I told Bill I had also had sex
before. Last year I was with a guy for a month or two and we had sex
twice. "Believe me, Bill, it was nothing special."

Bill and I had many really hot make-out sessions since we got together and
there were many times I was ready to go all the way. It had always been
Bill who had backed off. Sometimes I was pissed when he did. He had me so
hot I was ready to go gangbusters and he would back off. I even asked him
once if there was something wrong with me. He had said, "No, Baby, that's
the problem. Everything is right with you and our first time together has
to be right too.

I knew the time would come and I had gotten myself on birth control several
weeks ago. At least any time was the right time so far as I was
concerned. I told Bill that and he had said, "Thanks, Baby". Well, we were
alone in the spot Bill had picked, but we just sat talking--well, actually,
it was very strange for me because I sat listening while Bill talked. He
told me all sorts of funny things that had happened with "my boys", and how
much he enjoyed being with them. "They are young and innocent and so full
of life. I can just forget everything except enjoying being alive when I am
with them."

"Well, I like that," I said and pounded him on his hard arm.

"You know what I mean," he laughed as he kissed me. "I never forget about
you, day or night." His kiss led to another and then more and more. We were
lying side by side, our legs intertwined, as our love-making became more
intense. Bill reached out and took off my shirt, unhooked my bra and
started kissing my breasts. As he looked into my eyes, his hand covered a
breast as he said, "Linda, I love you, girl. I really truly love you. You
know that, don't you?"

I answered by covering his mouth with mine as I unbuttoned his shirt. I
have a thing about men's bare chests and a special thing about Bill's. It
is hard, well-defined and smooth. His nipples are beautiful brown circles
which are enough to make me want to eat him alive. When his shirt was off,
I pulled his body atop mine and our bare chests met. I swear a bolt of
electricity shot though my body as I felt his nipples against my
breasts. My hands found the snap on his shorts and I unsnapped them and
reached inside. My hand found what I was seeking. Bill's man's tool was wet
and, as I grasped it, he groaned as he raised his hips and I slid his
shorts from his long, strong legs.

Bill rolled to one side and I saw all my man's hard body beside me. He
pulled my face to his and placed his lips against mine in a passionate kiss
as his hands unbuttoned my shorts and took them from my body. We lay side
by side, admiring the beauty and wonder of the one we loved. As I looked
deeply into his eyes, I saw a question. My own eyes gave him his answer,
"Yes". Bill's hand moved down my body, leaving a trail of tender touches
until it found the soft hair surrounding my womanhood. He then touched
lightly that spot which gives a woman great pleasure. As my hands explored
his hard body, my lips covered his. When he touched that special place, I
sucked his tongue deep into my mouth and took his manhood into my hand and
an orgasm shot through my being.

Bill's love-making was ever so gentle and tender, his eyes telling me of
his love, not lust. Unlike the boy with whom I had sex last year, Bill was
in no rush. He was not all over me, but caressing my body, rubbing his face
against mine, loving me. Again, I looked into his eyes and saw a question
and, again, my answer was "Yes". Bill entered me slowly, gently,
lovingly. As his manhood entered me, it filled an emptiness I had not known
was there. I felt complete, loved, joyous. Having entered me fully, Bill
was very still. I, too, lay still, enjoying the fullness I had not felt
before. When he began, slowly, to move I thought I would pass out as wave
after wave of pleasure and love filled my body. Another orgasm consumed me
as Bill's thrusts became long and deep. He was moaning, "Linda, I love you,
God I love you. I love your body, being united with you." His breathing was
becoming heavy and his thrusting faster when, suddenly, his body shook and
I felt his seed pouring into me. His pulsing sent another orgasm coursing
through my body as I crushed his lips against mine. Careful not to put his
full weight on me, he collapsed atop my body, his manhood still inside. His
breathing gradually returned to normal and he started kissing me tenderly
as I felt his now-limp manhood slip from me.

We again lay side by side, our legs interlocked, our arms about each
other. Finally, he withdrew an arm and raised himself on an elbow and
looked into my eyes. His were aglow, and he had that special "light up
Linda's world" smile on his face. "Linda, you have made me so happy. I,
now, for the first time, know what real making love is like and it is a
thousand times more than I dreamed."

"Bill, I love you so much and you have shown me what it is to make love and
to be made love to. And, yes, it is a thousand times more than I had
dreamed it would be, and I have dreamed of it often!" I laughed and then
kissed my lover, the love of my life.

We lay, naked, in the sunlight, silent, each just enjoying the presence of
the other and the feel of our two bodies touching. As we lay silent, the
doe and her fawn ventured in the glade, looked at us and turned and walked
away. "She came to give us her blessing," I said to Bill who looked at me
and smiled.

Well, we were two nearly-eighteen-year-olds in love, so what might have
been predicted, happened: we made love again. There was no rush and
everything we did leading up to Bill entering me a second time was
beautiful and loving.

Too soon it was time to go. We had spent all afternoon in the glade and I
could have stayed forever. When I said that to Bill, he smiled and said,
"Lin, there are other places and other times. This was just the beginning
of our making love." We dressed and, holding hands, walked out of the
glade. When we were at its edge, we turned and looked back. The sun was
still lingering on the spot where we had been united and consummated our
love.

When we got back to camp, the kids had not returned and there was no-one
else in evidence. Bill looked at me with an evil grin on his face, grabbed
my hand and raced toward the bathhouse. When we reached it, he pulled me
into the men's showers with him and we had a wonderful time washing each
other's body. When we heard the bus come into the camp, we grabbed towels,
quickly dried and dressed, and raced to the area where the kids were piling
off the bus. When Mary Kathryn walked up to us, she smiled and said, "I
think I detect a glow about you two I haven't seen before".

"Might well be," Bill said.

Later, as we were walking to the cabins after the day was over, Mary
Kathryn said, "Well?"

I knew there was no use playing games with Mary Kathryn, but all I said
was, "Mary Kathryn, never, never, ever do anything that would not make your
first time with Michael special. It is magic, pure magic." Mary Kathryn
smiled and said nothing.

Saturday, Bill left for basketball camp and I knew I would miss him. We
hadn't had an opportunity to make love--I mean beyond some heavy making out
when we could escape the campers and staff--but, as he got in his car, he
said, "Love you, Lin, see you next weekend. I'll leave basketball camp as
soon as I can Saturday and pick you and Mary Kathryn up. I don't have to be
back in basketball camp until Sunday night.

It didn't turn out that way since his camp's director had arranged a couple
games between camps for the weekend so all I got was a phone call. Dad came
to pick up Mary Kathryn and me.

After a week with middle school girls, we were both convinced that was
where we should be headed. Middle schoolers have so much trouble being
adults and children at the same time that they are always interesting.

By the way, Mary Kathryn had met more clergy wives and was finally
convinced she could handle being one since, as she said, all it took was
being yourself.

We got home late Sunday afternoon and had decided we would volunteer to
work with the day camp at St. Mary's while we were waiting for Michael and
Bill to get back.

Bill got back the following Saturday and we spent a good part of Saturday
night at the falls. Our first time had been special, but so was our second
time in that special place. Sunday, after church, Bill and I invited Mary
Kathryn to go to Lexington with us to hang out at the mall, have dinner and
take in a movie. Afterwards, she stayed over with me and we went to
St. Mary's as usual Monday morning. Bill came by and was immediately roped
into helping with the day camp. Needless to say, he headed for the third
and fourth graders group.


A Special Place--Part Fifty-one--Michael

I was in my last week at the Abbey. I had really missed Mary Kathryn, but I
had also really enjoyed my stay. I had loved working, playing and, yes,
praying with the monks. My talks with the Abbot had covered just about
every topic under the sun except one. We had not talked about my becoming a
priest. It just hadn't seemed important for some reason.

My e-mails to the Fellowship were about what I had been doing, but mostly
about what I had been thinking. The Fellowship kept me posted on what was
going on with them. I was sorry to hear Millie had had an accident, but
couldn't help but laugh when I read how it had happened. I was interested
in the direction Paula and Jacob seemed to be headed. It sounded good. I
did some worrying about Matt as I read between the lines about his
roommate. Eugene had decided--encouraged by Larry--to go to band camp for
two weeks after the trial was over.

I got a real kick out of Mary Kathryn's discovery that priests' wives were
just like regular people. She had said Linda's and Bill's relationship had
deepened greatly. Luke had written about a girl's attempt to seduce him,
but then they had become great friends. All in all, things seemed well.

The Saturday before I was to leave, the Abbot sent word he wanted to see
me. When I reached his office he said, "Michael, you will be leaving Monday
after Mass. I will not be here. I'm leaving this afternoon to do some work
with a parish in Chicago and I wanted to see you before I left. You've
lived here a month and we have talked about everything except the reason
you thought you came here. Have you made a decision?"

"Father, I don't think I am any closer than the day I arrived. I have
learned a lot. I see theology and religion--and you know what I mean by
that--much clearer but, no, I haven't made a decision. That's not quite
right, I have made a decision--maybe just strengthened my decision--to
strive to be a spirit man, but how? I don't know.

"Good. You have two more years of high school and four years of college
before seminary should you choose to become a priest. Those should be years
of exploring, wondering, thinking, living. If it is intended you should be
a priest, you'll know it. I don't mean you'll see writing in the sky or
anything like that. Nor, I suspect, will it be a choice like deciding
whether to become a doctor or lawyer. You'll know. There's something
special about you, something I don't understand and have never experienced
before, but it's there and you will know. We--I--will miss you around
here. I said when you came you would be a breath of fresh air and you have
been. I only hope you have received as much as you have given." He stood
and so did I. As I stood, he walked toward me and hugged me. I then knelt
and he placed his hand on my head and blessed me. It just seemed so
natural.

I woke up early Sunday morning--long before time--with a strange
feeling. Something was wrong but I didn't know what. I went back to sleep
and had very disturbing dreams--but when I woke up I couldn't remember
them. I went to Mass and prayed that all was well with the family and the
Fellowship--but all day I was haunted with a feeling of uneasiness.

After Mass Monday, Brother Gregory and Brother Anselm took me to the
airport for my flight home. When I reached the hub, my flight had been
cancelled because of fog and I couldn't get a flight until mid-afternoon. I
phoned home and Yong Jin answered the phone. "Everything all right?" I
asked, with a strange feeling it wasn't.

"Everything's under control," she said. I told her my flight had been
delayed and she said someone would meet me in Jackson.


A Special Place--Part Fifty-one--Greywolf

"Transportation is quickly becoming a problem," I thought as I got ready to
go pick up Luke in Jackson. Michael had been due shortly after I was to
pick up Luke, but his plane had been delayed and wouldn't arrive until
early evening. From my conversation with Taequo, I was sure Luke didn't
need to hang around Jackson waiting for him, and all the Fellowship were
scattered to the four winds. David and Margaret were both on duty and Yong
Jin needed to be with Matt. Finally, I called Fr. Tom and he volunteered to
pick up Michael. With that settled, I took off for Jackson.

I had been waiting a very short time before the eighteen-wheeler pulled
into the parking lot. Taequo sent Luke on an errand and, in the short time
we had, said, "Greywolf, we don't have time to talk but I can tell you Luke
is in bad shape. I don't think he has any idea how serious it is. You know
he has power?" I nodded. "There is a struggle going on to destroy that in
him. Don't let it happen."

I caught sight of Luke out of the corner of my eye and said, "Here's my
phone number. When you get a chance, give me a call."

"I'll call when I stop for the night." He hugged Luke and left.

Luke said nothing for a long time after we got in the car. It was going to
be a long trip, I thought. Finally he said, "Greywolf, did Taequo tell
you?"

"Tell me what?"

"What I did."

"No, he just said you were hurting."

"I am, but I don't think I can talk about it. That's strange because
yesterday and last night I talked to Taequo and two of his friends and felt
better."

"Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone we have just met than to someone
we know," I said.

"I hadn't thought about that, but it's true. On my way down to Sarasota I
sat beside Janet, a girl who was going to Ringling too, and I told her
everything."

"Luke, when and if you are ready to talk to me I am here, otherwise, I'll
ask you nothing."

Again we were both silent for a long time. I looked sideways at Luke and
saw tears running down his face. "Greywolf, I have betrayed Matt. I was
unfaithful." The words started tumbling out and the tears flowed
freely. Luke talked without stopping until we had passed Lexington. When he
became silent again, I looked at him and saw that his talking had not
helped him. He was obviously miserable. Before I could say anything Luke
said, "Greywolf, please keep all that between us. Maybe I will tell someone
else but not now and, please, please don't tell Matt."

"It's safe with me," I said, "but I think you should talk to Matt."

"Greywolf, I am not sure I will ever be able to face Matt again, much less
talk with him." I started to say something about their love and the power
it had, but didn't. At that point I think Luke was unable to hear it.

When we passed my place, Matt's Jeep was in the drive. Luke was carefully
not looking in the direction of our house and I said nothing.

When Luke reached his place, he spoke to Margaret and David briefly and
went upstairs. "I hope you won't leave him alone tonight," I said. "He is a
very sick young man--emotionally." Margaret nodded and said, "I'll check on
him later. Jens and Gabrielle have taken care of things in Florida and will
be back tomorrow. I had to give Matt a very strong sedative and David and
Yong Jin took him home. He, too, is an emotional wreck. My heart bleeds for
both of them, but right now I don't think there is anything we can do." I
agreed and left for home.

Yong Jin met me at the door and started crying. "Greywolf, our baby is
hurting so bad. He blames himself for everything that has happened."

I went upstairs and saw my Beloved Treasure lying on his bed in a fetal
position and, even in his sleep, sobbing.

Taequo called a couple hours later and we talked at length. He asked me if
Matt knew that Luke was special, that he had power. I told him about what
had happened with Michael and the fact that Matt had Korean shaman
ancestors as well as Lakota ones.

"Then you know that both are in great danger. Twice their power has almost
led to death--twice Luke has attempted to take his life, and if he dies
much of who and what Matt is dies as well. It is going to take powerful
medicine to prevent their power being taken from them."

"I know. And I will do all in my power to protect them. And they have
protectors, else why would you have been there to save Luke?"

"I have thought about that. I shouldn't have been. I should have taken a
different route that night but, when the highway forked, I took that route
and only after I was on it did I realize I hadn't intended to be. I will be
in touch and if you need to contact me, give me a call." He gave me his
cell phone number and we said goodbye.

The next morning I checked on Luke and Margaret said he had waked up
screaming and she had given him a sedative and he was still asleep. "What
are we going to do, Greywolf?"

"We are going to wait. There is little else we can do right now. Tonight we
will all be home. Maybe we can make some decisions then, but I think it is
really out of our hands. Does Mary Kathryn know, or what does she know?"

"All I told her was that Luke had decided to come home and was not well. I
suggested she not try to see him so she went on to St. Mary's. David is off
today and is going to pick up Jens and Gabrielle. We asked Fr. Tom to have
Michael stay over with him last night under the pretence of their having a
talk this morning. Fr. Tom will tell him, briefly, what has happened and
suggest he might want to stay with Mary Kathryn at the day camp until she
is ready to come home. Frankly, Greywolf, I feel in over my head."

"So do I," I replied.


A Special Place--Part Fifty-one--Luke

When I got home, the whole mess I had created piled on me again. I was
hardly civil to David and Margaret and didn't even ask about Mom and Dad
and why David and Margaret were at our place. I went to my room and flopped
on my bed and cried until I was so exhausted I fell asleep. As soon as I
was asleep, I had the same nightmare--Rich had his cock up my ass and I was
screaming for him to fuck me. I screamed so loudly I woke myself up and
dissolved into tears again. Once again I fell asleep and the same nightmare
returned. This time my screaming was loud enough to be heard downstairs and
Margaret came up and tried to comfort me, but I could not be
comforted. Finally she gave me a shot and I sank into blackness--no dreams,
no nightmares, nothing.


A Special Place--Part Fifty-one--Margaret

Tuesday night there was a family meeting at our place. The whole family was
there except Luke and Matt. No-one wanted to leave them alone so we called
on our old standbys, Chelsea and Gladys. Jens had told them briefly what
had happened and asked if they could come to stay with the two. "There will
be no need to do anything since neither will get out of bed. They just lie
there in a fetal position and cry from time to time. Margaret will leave
shots should they be needed. Luke seems to have nightmares which terrify
him, but Matt just lies there." Of course they were there in minutes,
Gladys at Luke's, Chelsea at Matt's bedsides.

When we had eaten--sandwiches and not much of them--Jens and Gabrielle told
us what they had found out. "From what Douglas and Janet told us, we can
pretty much guess what we don't know. Matt had written Luke an e-mail which
Luke had only partially read, getting the impression Matt and his roommate
at Sewanee had engaged in sexual activity--mutual masturbation. Luke became
angry and accepted an invitation from his teacher to go to a gay night club
where he had gone the week before. Luke had a fake I.D. and had gotten
drunk the week before, but Saturday night he really tied one on. They went
back to the teacher's apartment--the teacher is gay--and here I'm just
assuming--where Luke and the teacher engaged in sex--one way or
another. Luke went back to the dorm and discovered a printed copy of Matt's
e-mail and realized that Matt had called a halt before he and his roommate
had actually completed what the roommate started. Realizing Matt had not
been unfaithful to him, but he had been unfaithful to Matt, Luke ran away
and was caught just before he drowned himself. Now both are blaming
themselves for what happened. I don't think there's even a question of
forgiving each other because both see the other as innocent. Well, Matt may
not see Luke as innocent, but sees himself as the cause of Luke's being
unfaithful--which amounts to the same thing. It's one hell of a mess."

There was a lot of talk, but no-one had a clue as to what could be
done. Michael finally said, "Look, it's something they are going to have to
resolve. Maybe we can help, but they have to resolve it. I think anything
we try to do will only backfire." I knew he was probably right, but I
didn't like to hear it said.

"Margaret, how long can they go on as they are?" Yong Jin asked.

"Longer than I like to think," I responded. "But I'd say if there is no
change in a day or so, then we'll have to take some action. Right now, I
think we can just help when they are overcome by their demons--I mean
sedation." And that was the way it was left.

There was no change in the two Wednesday. Both stayed curled up in bed,
getting up only to go to the bathroom. I hoped they were at least drinking
water when they went. Thursday, when I checked mid-morning, there had been
no change. Matt slept, now crying in his sleep, and Luke had to be sedated
to keep the nightmares away. I decided that unless there was a change
Saturday morning, I was going to hospitalize them.


A Special Place--Part Fifty-one--Yong Jin

Margaret had said that if there was no change in the boys Saturday she was
going to hospitalize them. Well, there was no change in Matt when I checked
on him when I got up. I couldn't see how he had any tears left, but he was
curled into a knot in the middle of his bed, with tears rolling down his
cheeks. He was asleep, but still crying. Since I didn't know what to say, I
said nothing, but thought, "Sarang Hanun Pomul, I would take your place if
I could take the hurt away," and went back downstairs. Matt hadn't spoken
since Monday night when Margaret had given him a shot other than to
whisper, 'It's my fault, Luke, it's my fault." Luke, so far as Gabrielle
knew, had not spoken at all.

I went downstairs and took the cup of coffee Greywolf handed me. His eyes
asked a question and I just shook my head. We sat in silence then Greywolf
looked up as if he had heard something, got up and walked to the front
door. I heard him speak some words in what I was sure was Lakota and when
he came back into the kitchen, he was accompanied by an ancient
Indian. Without being told, I know it was Red Hawk, the medicine man who
had helped Greywolf overcome being abused. No wonder he looked ancient. He
had to be over a hundred, I was sure. Greywolf handed him a cup of coffee
and he sat down.

I don't know what I expected--movie Indian language I guess, but after
Greywolf introduced us, he spoke beautiful, if amusing at times, English
with the lilt of a Lakota. "The gray wolf came to me in a vision Monday,"
he said, "and told me to come".

"How did you find us?" I asked.

He laughed, "The gray wolf told me. Well, actually, he told me to go to the
library and use the internet. Not many Patanka St. Michael Greywolfs so it
was easy. Getting here was the problem. I am a warrior 'most all the time,
but this Indian is not getting on a plane. So tell me, Greywolf, why am I
here?"

Greywolf told him the situation and of his conversation with Taequo. When
he finished, Red Hawk said, "So we have two medicine men who don't know
it..."

"Not sure about that," Greywolf interrupted and told him about Michael.

"...who have power and were led to use it, but not understand it. They are
linked and, when separated, the no-good spirits can get at them. Greywolf,
you never have given me an easy task. This is going to be
tough. Mrs. Greywolf, you might whip up some bacon and eggs 'cause I'm
going to need to eat," he laughed.

Eat he did. And after a few more cups of coffee, he said, "Well, I guess I
need to earn my keep. The gray wolf told me there was a sacred place here."

"I know," Greywolf said. I looked at him in surprise and he merely
shrugged.

"I'll need a sweat lodge there this evening. There's another young man
around here somewhere who has received power from Matt. Now that's a
strange kid, Mrs. Greywolf..."

"Yong Jin, please," I said.

"Korean, right?" he asked. I nodded. "Thought so. Shaman family?" I nodded
again. "That's what the gray wolf told me, but I didn't believe him. He
likes to play tricks on this old Indian sometimes. That's why Matt can give
power to others--the Korean shaman side, I mean. Greywolf, he's to help you
build the sweat lodge--the other one I mean, Michael. Yong Jin, call that
doctor and tell her I'm here and no drugs for Luke today. Also, we're going
to need one hell of a supper about 10:00 tonight. Right now I'm going to
take a nap. Can't sleep on a damn bus." With those words, he went into the
living room and curled up on the floor and was asleep in thirty seconds or
less. It was then that I noticed a large pack he had left by the front
door.

"It's going to be a long day," Greywolf said, "but it will be a great one."

Greywolf called Michael and told him they had a job to do, kissed me and
walked out the door. As he left, I thought to myself, "I wonder if living
with Patanka St. Michael Greywolf will ever get dull?" then shook my head
because I knew it wouldn't, even when we were as old as Red Hawk.


A Special Place--Part Fifty-one--Michael

I was still asleep when Greywolf called. Mom yelled upstairs the phone was
for me. "Holy shit, who's calling me before God and I got up? It was as bad
as being at the Abbey. That early morning business," I thought, "was about
the only thing I had really disliked--well, there was washing the pots and
pans in the kitchen too." I picked up the phone, dropped it and, when I had
retrieved it, said, "Hello".

"Michael, what are you doing in bed? The lark is on the wing, day is at
hand," I heard Greywolf say.

"Greywolf, you commune with the frigging larks, I'm communing with my bed."

Greywolf laughed and then sounded very serious when he said, "Michael, you
and I have a job to do today, an important one. Can you come over in, say,
an hour?"

"Of course I can, Greywolf," I answered, wondering what this important job
could be, "if it's important. What's so important?"

"Think I'll wait and let someone else explain. Sharpen up a hatchet and
bring it. See you in an hour."

I was still half asleep and almost turned over and went back to dreamland
but, just before I did, dragged myself out of bed, went downstairs and told
Mom and Dad what Greywolf had said.

It was Dad's turn to do breakfast and it was about finished, but he added
more bacon to the skillet and broke three or four more eggs since I would
be eating. As he worked at getting breakfast ready, Mom was sitting at the
kitchen table drinking coffee. I grabbed a cup and joined her. "Why are you
up so early?"

"It's Greywolf. He said we had an important job to do today, but wouldn't
say what it was. Said someone else would tell me later. Don't you know what
is going on?"

"No. I called a few minutes before he did to check on Matt and
Luke. Greywolf said both were the same--he had talked to Jens who is really
beside himself--but that the boys weren't going to the hospital today and
asked me to come by after work to discuss what was going on. He was pretty
mysterious about it."

We ate and Mom and Dad left for work. I showered--still hadn't shaved and
had a good start on a beard, of course it was so blond it didn't show up
very well, but Mary Kathryn loved it--and got dressed. I went to the
workshop and checked the hatchet. As always it was already sharpened. Dad
was not really rigid about most things, but taking care of tools wasn't one
of them. His tools were always where they were supposed to be and in good
shape.

I decided to run to the Greywolfs' since I wasn't getting much running in,
but thought better of it when I looked at the hatchet, but I did walk.

When I opened the door and walked in, there was an old--and I mean
old--Indian lying on the living room floor. As soon as I stepped inside he
sat up, wide awake, and said, "Good morning, Michael, glad you could
come". I knew Greywolf might have told him something about me, but how did
he know my name? How did he know who I was? As if in answer, he said, "Oh,
I know a lot about you Michael. The gray wolf told me. I'm Red Hawk."

We walked into the kitchen and Greywolf said, "Red Hawk, this is..."

"I know. Michael. I sent for him you know." He sat down at the table and
said, "Yong Jin, I'll have another cup of coffee". Yong Jin prepared fresh
coffee and Greywolf, Red Hawk and I sat at the table, silent, until the
coffee was made and we each had a cup.

"Michael, you know you share in Luke's and Matt's power, don't you?" I had
a feeling there was something which connected me to Luke and Matt more than
just being brothers, and at times I had a sense of something strange about
myself, but I never thought much about it.

"I never really thought about it a whole lot," I said.

"Michael, you know what Matt and Luke did for you. The circle has moved and
now it is time for you to help heal them. They are in as much danger as you
were, but it's not physical--well, there may be physical results, but it's
not physical. Luke would have drowned had his protector not sent someone,
but his drowning would have been more than physical. Do you have any idea
of what I mean?"

"Yes," I replied because I did. I didn't know how, but I did.

"Matt once told you you were a spirit man and you are. You are a real
spirit warrior and we have a great battle on our hands. I think maybe we
can win, but it's going to be a rough weekend so let's get started. Yong
Jin, we will be fasting the rest of the day," he said and got up and walked
toward the door headed, I knew, straight to the falls. Both he and Greywolf
picked up shovels lying by the front walk and Greywolf handed me a
pitchfork. As he handed it to me, I asked, "Could I please just know what
the hell is going on? I'm in the dark."

"Not as in the dark as you think," Red Hawk replied. "You'll know when it
is time. There is a time for everything." After that, I kept my mouth shut
and we three walked to the falls. When we reached the falls, Red Hawk
nodded several times and said, "Yes, this is the place the gray wolf showed
me. Now I will pick the spot. Chanting under his breath, he walked around
the beach surrounding the falls for several minutes. This whole process got
stranger and stranger. Finally he stopped, marked a spot on the ground with
his shovel and nodded to Greywolf. He then walked several feet to the east
of the spot he had marked and made another mark. "We have found the
place. Now it is time to pray by working. The spirits and protectors can't
do everything." I was ready to go to work, doing I didn't know what, when
Red Hawk sat down and Greywolf and I joined him.

"Michael, we are holding an inipi--a sweat lodge ceremony--here tonight,"
Red Hawk said. I had once heard Greywolf describe the inipi, but at the
time it was just something Indians did and I hadn't paid that much
attention to what he had said. Now Red Hawk explained the ceremony in
detail.

When he finished, I asked, "This is for Matt and Luke?"

"No, it's for me, you and Greywolf. Matt and Luke are not ready."

"But who's going to be the gate keeper and the fire keeper?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, but he will be sent," Red Hawk responded. "Now let's get the
lodge ready. Greywolf will take care of the fire pit, I'll construct the
lodge and, while I dig the pit for the stones, you are to cut willows. We
need eight straight willow saplings at least twelve feet long and another
dozen or so eight to twelve feet long. Search for them along the river."

I walked along the river bank, finding willows of the size Red Hawk had
specified. When I had eight long ones, I dragged them back to the
falls. When I got back, Red Hawk had dug a pit where he had made the first
mark and Greywolf had dug a pit at the second mark. Both men had gathered
wood and started a fire in the pit Greywolf had dug and were bringing
stones and putting them beside the fire pit. When I returned with the
second load of willows, Red Hawk had arranged the eight I had brought
previously in a circle and was tying them together to form a dome. He took
the ones I was carrying and I helped him tie them to the ribs of the dome,
holding it all together. More wood had been added to the fire and it was
rapidly becoming a bed of red hot coals. Greywolf appeared, just as we had
completed the framework of the dome, carrying several tarps. He and Red
Hawk quickly attached them to the framework. When I looked inside I saw
that the only light visible was that from the opening where I was standing,
where the flap was turned back.

"I guess that's it," Red Hawk said, "except to add more fuel to the
fire". He and Greywolf quickly added more wood to the pit.

"Time to break for lunch," I said.

"We're fasting," Red Hawk said. "Remember?"

"We're fasting?" I asked. Red Hawk smiled and nodded.

"Time to attend to the two boys," he said. "Greywolf, will you tend the
fire until the fire keeper arrives?"

Greywolf nodded and Red Hawk motioned to me and we walked to the Greywolfs'
place. When we arrived, Yong Jin was in the kitchen. "Yong Jin, I need your
kitchen," he said. Yong Jin nodded and left. Red Hawk put a pot of water on
the stove and, when it was boiling, took several bundles from his pack and
placed some from each of them into the boiling water. "Matt and Luke need
to be nourished. They haven't eaten in almost a week." When the pot was
boiling again, Red Hawk handed me another package and said, "Add this, stir
well and, when it has boiled again, take it off the stove, put half of it
in a bowl and bring it up". He then went upstairs.

Shortly after he was gone, I smelled the scent of burning cedar and sweet
grass and heard, very faintly, Red Hawk chanting. I did as Red Hawk had
told me and took the steaming bowl upstairs. When I opened the door to
Matt's room, it was filled with smoke from a bowl of smoldering sweet grass
and cedar. Matt was lying on his back, naked, as if he was sleeping
peacefully in the middle of his bed. Red Hawk was chanting and waving the
wing of a large bird over him, fanning the smoke over his body. Since I
hadn't been told to do anything other than bring the bowl up, I just stood
holding it. I remembered how hot it had been, but it wasn't burning me. I
guess the thick bowl prevented that. I stood, holding the bowl for what
seemed like an hour and I know it was at least half an hour. Red Hawk
finally stopped chanting, leaned over and blew into Matt's face three
times. As he did, Matt slowly opened his eyes. Red Hawk motioned to me and
I took the bowl to him. He put his arm under Matt's neck and lifted him
into a sitting position. He placed the bowl to Matt's lips and said,
"Drink!". Matt started drinking the liquid and might have stopped, but Red
Hawk held the bowl to his lips and had his arm firmly around Matt's
neck. To tell the truth, Matt had two choices: he could drink or he could
have his naked lap filled with hot liquid. He drank.

The bowl was empty when Red Hawk took it from Matt's lips. When he took his
arm from around Matt, Matt started to lie down. "Sit up!" Red Hawk said in
a voice that allowed no options. Matt sat. Red Hawk indicated Matt's desk
chair and I brought it to him. He placed it by the bed and sat down. He
sat, watching Matt, for several minutes and then said, "Ok, you now have
something to start you back on the road to being a human being. Go to the
bathroom and take a shower. No hot water and no soap, just cold water."
When Matt made no move to get up, Red Hawk said, "Do it now!" Matt obeyed.

While he was gone, Red Hawk opened the windows and allowed the smoke to
escape but, of course, the room was still filled with the scent of burning
sweet grass and cedar. Matt returned, wet and shivering. "Get a towel," Red
Hawk said to me. When I brought one, he dried Matt, rubbing his body
vigorously. When he finished he said, "Get dressed". Matt still had not
spoken a word, but he got dressed. "Come downstairs with us," Red Hawk
commanded. Matt followed us down the stairs. When we reached the kitchen,
Yong Jin was there and Red Hawk said to her, "We're fasting, he's
eating. Feed him. Matt, you can go where you please except you are not to
see Luke until 10:00 tonight when we have dinner, and you are not to speak
to him until I say you can." Matt nodded. Red Hawk turned to me and said,
"Bring the pot. We have another man to tend to."

At the Larsens', Red Hawk just walked in the way any member of the family
would do, nodded to Gabrielle who had been staying home with Luke, and gave
her the pot with instructions to heat it to boiling and pour it into a
bowl. "Michael will come for it when it is needed," and, with those words,
he went upstairs straight to Luke's room.

Luke lay on his bed, curled into a fetal position. Occasionally he would
cry out, but I didn't understand what he was saying. Red Hawk started
chanting as he placed the bowl he had used before on Luke's bedside table
and lit braided sweet grass and strips of cedar. As the smoke began to rise
from the bowl, he used the bird's wing to fan it over Luke's
body. Gradually Luke uncurled, turned to lay on his back and looked as Matt
had when I had gone into his room. Red Hawk continued chanting and waving
the smoke over Luke, I am sure, much longer than he had over Matt, but
finally he gave me a signal and I went downstairs for the bowl. He did
exactly the same thing for Luke as he had done for Matt, and got the same
results. After telling Gabrielle to feed Luke, and after saying the same
thing to Luke as he had said to Matt, we left.

I started to not ask him what he had done, but I wanted to know. Red Hawk
laughed, "Well, I guess I could make up some mumbo jumbo but it's fairly
simple. "The chanting and incense were to calm the boys' spirits. Kind of
like a Lakota tranquilizer, but more spirit than drug. The liquid had some
herbs to make sure their stomachs wouldn't object to food after being empty
so long, and a kind of Lakota energy bar soup. They are very weak, but that
food will keep a healthy man going for a very long time. There's also a
little something to make them hungry so they will eat even if their
emotions tell them not to."

"But neither of them spoke, and you told them they weren't to speak to each
other until you said they could. Why's that?"

"Because they don't want to and don't need to. Right now their words would
only wound--themselves and each other. Let's check on the sweat lodge."

Greywolf was tending the fire which, now, was a huge bed of hot coals. The
rocks could not be seen since they were now buried under the coals. Red
Hawk answered the unasked question on Greywolf's face, "The boys are up and
their mothers are feeding them. They are ok for the time being. Everything
looks ready. The fire tender should be arriving soon."

The words were hardly out of his mouth when an Indian walked out of the
cane brake. He was dressed as an Indian, unlike Red Hawk who was wearing a
pair of very old jeans and an ancient checked shirt. "Taequo, I knew it
would be you who showed up. The gray wolf told me."

"You old son of a bitch," Taequo said as he hugged Red Hawk. "I was looking
forward to a good long weekend of fun and instead I had to hop a plane. You
Lakota sure know how to ruin a fellow's playtime."

"Someone should have ruined some of your playtime years ago so you're
having to pay now," Red Hawk laughed. It was obvious the two were old
friends and loved each other very much. I never thought you could call
someone a son of a bitch and show deep, deep respect, but Taequo had just
demonstrated that it could be done.

Taequo turned to me and said, "Michael, I'm Taequo. I pulled your brother's
ass from the brink of destruction but, apparently, didn't complete the
job. I am glad to meet you. Understand you just got back from a month with
a bunch of monks and walked into this mess. Well, I guess you white folks
are just going to have to learn that being a medicine man means you no
longer belong to yourself. Hope that wild woman understands because she may
as well get used to it."

I was wondering how Taequo knew who I was--my name and, it seemed,
everything about me. Red Hawk said, "Luke told him much of what he knows,
but I told him what the gray wolf told me." The old Indian was a mind
reader? "No, I just listen when I am told something," he answered again,
even as the thought formed in my mind.

I finally had had enough and said, "Ok, I've gone along with all this and I
have seen results, but can I have some answers. For starters, who is this
Greywolf guy who has been telling you things. I mean, has Greywolf been
talking to you?"

Taequo laughed and said, "Not a person named Greywolf, but the gray
wolf. It's Patanka's and Red Hawk's protector. Probably an ancestor or it
may be a spirit gray wolf. Doesn't matter."

"He came to me in a dream--well, not really a dream, it was a vision, and
told me I was needed here and told me the situation pretty much. He also
told me about you and your connection with Matt and Luke. You'll never have
the power they have, but you have much--very much--and anyone with power
can use it for good or bad. There are bad spirits who try to make you doubt
your power, use it wrongly or, perhaps worse, deny it and not use it at
all. Your brothers may think only they are involved in their present trial,
but much more is at stake. Twice the bad spirits have almost destroyed Luke
knowing that, if they can, they will also destroy Matt and make your power
so weak as to be useless. Yes, much is at stake here. My heart rejoices
that you are here, Taequo, my brother," Red Hawk said, and embraced Taequo
again. "It will be a good sweat. Let's swim."

I thought to myself, "I hope to hell Red Hawk doesn't drive the way he
makes turns without signaling!" He looked at me, winked, stripped and dived
into the water. We all quickly followed suit and I was surprised how
refreshing the swim was. Red Hawk, Taequo and Greywolf were acting as if
they didn't have a care in the world--strange. At least it was strange
until I realized I felt the same way. By the way, don't ever try to duck an
old Indian medicine man. I thought I was in good shape, but when we were
horsing around, I tried to duck him and he immediately put me ass over head
into the water and held me there until I came up spluttering. When I did,
he laughed a deep, roaring belly laugh. "Indians one, white man zero," he
shouted and laughed again.

After we had swum for a good long time, we got out of the water and sat in
the late afternoon sun. "Ok, now here's what we're going to do," Red Hawk
said. "Tonight, Greywolf, Michael and I will do a sweat while Taequo is
fire and door keeper. When we finish the sweat, we eat. Tomorrow morning,
we greet the sun, swim and get dressed for church."

"Get dressed for church?" I asked, not believing what I was hearing. "After
all this Lakota stuff, we're going to church?"

"You got a problem with church, Michael?" Red Hawk asked.

"Well, no, of course not, but I mean you are a Lakota medicine man."

"I'm also an ex-drunk, a father, grandfather, great-grandfather and maybe a
great-great-grandfather. I also happen to have been a damn good
Episcopalian since I was a week old or so. Even tried being a monk for a
year, but I do love women. Of course, I had to pick one that didn't
understand why I should share myself so there were a lot of disappointed,
beautiful women when I was young--like sixty or so." He then laughed that
great belly laugh. "Anyway, tonight is to purify the three of us and to
pray for our own healing as well as for the healing of Luke and
Matt. Tomorrow church. We need all the help we can get."

"You're assuming Luke and Matt will go," I said.

"They'll go," Taequo said. His voice left little doubt. "That's a worry you
can put out of your mind."

"They'll get fed well tomorrow and fast Monday. Monday night we will do a
sweat with them. Greywolf will be fire and door keeper and you, Michael,
will do the ceremony. I will be occupied otherwise I fear. Taequo, you will
still be here? Taequo nodded. "Good, I think I'm going to need help during
the sweat. Michael, I'll teach you the ceremony between now and then. Also,
you'll need to bring Mary Kathryn with you because a sweat really does need
a woman. Tonight Yong Jin will do the woman's part."

"Problem," Greywolf said. "Yong Jin is on her moon."

Once again I felt like a stranger in a strange land and even more so when
Red hawk asked me, "How about Mary Kathryn? Is she on her moon?"

"How the hell would I know. I don't know anything about being on the moon!"

"The kid has a temper," Red Hawk laughed. "On her moon--you know, having
her period."

"And just how the hell would I know that?" I was still hot under the
collar.

"Sorry, I guess I assumed you two were playing around. If you were, you'd
know, especially if she was supposed to be and was not," Red Hawk laughed
again. "Check that out for us and let us know. I'll need to instruct her
about what to do. "Well," he said, looking at the sky, "we have two hours
by the sun before we begin. Taequo, you need to meet Matt and Yong Jin,
then Luke and his parents. Greywolf, you need to talk to the Larsens and
Andrews. Michael, check on your wild woman. If she's not on her moon, come
back in an hour and a half. If she is, maybe Luke's mom can do it, but I
rather not. She might be too involved in what's going on with Luke. Yong
Jin has enough shaman in her background to put such concerns out of her
mind. I'm going to take a nap." Red Hawk immediately stretched out on the
sandy beach, still naked, and was asleep before his head hit the sand.

Taequo went to the Greywolfs' and Greywolf and I headed for the
Larsens'. Greywolf stayed downstairs talking with Jens and Gabrielle. As I
passed Luke's room, I saw he was stretched out on his bed, looking at the
ceiling. I did not disturb him, but went to Mary Kathryn's room. She was
sitting on her bed, reading, when I walked in. I walked over, sat beside
her and gave her a real kiss. Before things got out of hand, and I knew
they could and would quickly--after all, we had been separated a month and
now had a mess to deal with--I asked, "Mary Kathryn, are you on your moon?"
half expecting her to look at me like I was crazy.

"No, why do you ask? Afraid I had gotten pregnant while you were gone?"

I was taken aback a bit and stammered, "No, I hadn't even thought about
that. And, frankly, I didn't expect you to know what I was talking about."

"Well, I'm not, but what difference does it make?" I explained to her there
was a part that a woman should play in a sweat lodge ceremony, but could
not if she were on her moon and Yong Jin was. "Red Hawk planned to have you
do it when we do a sweat for Luke and Matt, but said you could do
both. We'll go in an hour or so and he'll give you
instructions. Meanwhile..." I was ready for some serious making out but
Mary Kathryn said, "I know that having sex before a ceremony is a big
no-no. I read that somewhere. I'm not sure if that means heavy making out
as well, but I think we need to be on the safe side." I couldn't believe
it! Wild Woman was calling a halt before anything got started AND she
wasn't making a fuss about our first Saturday night after I got back being
involved with something I think very much like priesthood. "Tell me all you
know about a sweat." I did and she was listening very intently.

When it was time to go, Mary Kathryn and I went to the falls. As we walked
out of the cane brake, Red Hawk sat up instantly--he had put on his shirt
and jeans sometime--and patted the sand beside him, indicating we should
sit down. He explained the sweat ceremony to Mary Kathryn--including parts
I had missed--and what her part would be. "You will open the lodge because
you are woman and hold a position of honor. Only a woman can truly
represent White Buffalo Calf Maiden, the strongest of the spirit guides." I
had never seem Mary Kathryn so serious, so solemn, as she was as she
listened to Red Hawk.

By the time Red Hawk had finished talking to Mary Kathryn, the sun was down
and twilight was upon the falls. As if they knew when Mary Kathryn was
ready, Greywolf and Taequo appeared out of the cane brake. While Mary
Kathryn prepared the tobacco for the opening of the lodge, the four of us
washed in the river. Only Taequo dressed after we came out. Mary Kathryn
had the tobacco ready to open the sweat lodge.

***********************************************************************
Note: There are various accounts of the Lakota ceremonies, including the
sweat lodge ceremony. The one I use most often is found in MOTHER EARTH
SPIRITUALITY by Ed McGaa, published by HarperSanFrancisco and copyright by
the author.

Mail welcomed at sequoyahs-place@home.com