Date: Thu, 06 Apr 2000 10:32:57 -0400
From: Sequoyah <pendor@mailcity.com>
Subject: A  Special Place--Part Eight

			A Special Place--Part Eight

				 Warning!

           The usual warning applies: This story contains, or will contain,
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				Disclaimer

     This is a work of fiction, any coincidence is just that, a
coincidence.

			     About This Story

     If you haven't read "About This Story" before A Special Place--Part
One, please do so. It explains what this story is attempting to do.

     Again, a thousand thanks to all who have written words of
encouragement. They mean a great deal.

    What you read has many less mistakes and glitches because of the
careful work done by SAH, to him many thanks and wishes for much happiness!

    "A Special Place" is also posted on Authors Without Websites:
http://www.TeenBoyAuthors.org/aww/index.asp

				   ****

		     A Special Place--Part Eight--Matt

          As I drove home, I thought about the time Luke and I had spent
together and it felt good, very good. Sure, we had done some making out
and, even though it was our first time, I would be a liar if I said it
wasn't spectacular and hadn't made my heart sing. I found myself singing a
line from the musical, "South Pacific": "I'm in love, I'm in love with a
wonderful guy!" Dad has a collection of records--real records, not tapes or
CDs, which he plays sometimes and I have learned to enjoy and play some of
the tunes on my keyboard. I know if there's something I really want out of
my parents, all I have to do is haul out the keyboard and play some of
those tunes from the time they were young or even before they were born. So
it never surprises me when I start singing something that was old when my
dad was young. And in this case, the words sure fit!

          But while we made out some, we also started what I knew would be
a long process getting to know each other as lovers and not just
friends. . . no, no, never "just friends" because I knew that "just
friends" didn't begin to describe the depth of our friendship. Our
suffering, especially Luke's, proved that. We had done some pretty serious
talking and I was glad. I was especially glad that Luke had felt we should
take it slow and easy with the sex, but I knew it was going to be, pardon
the pun, hard and that had he asked, I would have crawled his body in a
second.

          As I neared the house, I hoped that my parents would still have
some time for us to talk. When I walked in, Dad and Mom were cuddled on the
love seat in the library. On their desks were stacks of papers they had
obviously graded, so I knew they had been busy and were probably tired.
Seeing them together I remember what I had told Luke about their being
friends and lovers. I had a feeling that their sharing this time was both
and I hated to disturb it, but as soon as I was in the door, Dad spoke.

          "Everything ok with Luke, Matt?"

          "He's fine, Dad. Unless something unexpected shows up in
tomorrow's tests, he'll be coming home at noon tomorrow. Gabrielle is
picking him up."

          "We were beginning to worry a bit since you were later than we
expected," Mom said.

           "They were probably making out and forgot the time," Dad said as
he gave Mom a quick kiss. I. . . .well, you know, blushed.

         "And I loved every minute of it and wanted to crawl in bed and
spend the night with him," I responded. "But seriously, Mom, Dad, of course
we did some making out. From your own experience, you'd know I lied if I
said otherwise. . .  ." Both my parents smiled and Dad snuck another kiss
from my mom.  "But we also got some serious talking done and, I think, got
Dr. Bailey thinking about David in a new way. One of the things we talked
about was how much we need to talk to you two and that we need a family
meeting since the whole family except Gabrielle and Jens know about us."

          "Michael and Mary Kathryn too?"

          "They knew about Luke before I did. Luke left his journal open on
his new computer just after Christmas and Michael read how Luke was in love
with me. He told Mary Kathryn. . . ."


          "Why would he do that?" Mom asked.

          "Oops! Well, I'll have to swear you two to secrecy since I've
kinda let a cat out of the bag.  Michael and Mary Kathryn are in love. So
there are two couples in the family."

           "But they have no real reason to keep it a secret, do they?"
Dad asked.

            "Actually, I think they have a good reason. Michael says that
if they announced they were a couple, they would lose the freedom they have
as friends and their friendship is as important as Luke's and mine. By
keeping their love a secret for awhile, Mary Kathryn says they can have the
freedom and time to allow it to develop and mature while maintaining their
friendship. That sure makes sense to me."

          "Well, I don't know how long they can keep their new relationship
secret, but they are sure right about friendship," Mom said.

          "Absolutely. Your mom is not only my wife and lover, but also my
best friend. I think if I had to choose between her being just a lover or
just a friend, I'd have to choose friend. .  . ."

         "I'm inclined to agree," Mom said, "but there's no need for you
choosing since you've got both, whether you like it or not!"

          "And I like it!" Dad exclaimed as he gave Mom a really passionate
kiss, a real winner if I had learned anything about kissing this evening!

          "Ok, you two, break it up and get serious!" I said after the kiss
had gone on longer than I expected.

           "What? You don't think kissing is serious? And I thought you
just told us you and Luke had done some making out!" Mom said. I
blushed. "Well, we'll all be together Friday night for a celebration of
Luke's homecoming. Gabrielle called a while ago."

        "But we need to talk to just you two and then the whole family,
except for Jens and Gabrielle. Dr. Walker convinced them that they should
not bring up the question of why Luke attempted suicide for two weeks and
Luke plans to go to confession Friday so he can receive the Sacrament again
and . . . ."

       "Matt. . . .Matt, we don't need a blow by blow account," Dad said
with a laugh.  "What about a family meeting without the Larsens? How's that
possible?"

       "Luke said their wedding anniversary is April First. . . ."

        Dad laughed and said, "Yea, I can remember kidding Gabrielle about
being an April Fool for marrying Jens."

         "Luke thought that if you, Mom and David, suggested they take a
mini-honeymoon for their anniversary--since they have been through so
much--they might, and then we could have a get-together without them. It's
really important to Luke and me."

           "That sounds like a wonderful idea," Mom said, "and not just
because you want them out of town. They deserve some time together after
what they have suffered the past few weeks. Greywolf, remember how much
they enjoyed that place on the lake a couple years ago?  Didn't it belong
to a friend of David's?"

          "They did, didn't they? And I'm positive the place belongs to a
friend of David's. I'll call David right now and check." Dad called David
and he liked the idea and said he'd be right over so the three of them
could make some plans. I realized that getting the Larsens away was no
longer my problem and went up to my room.

          In a few minutes David arrived and Michael was with him. While
the adults held a conference in the living room, Michael came upstairs. He
knew Luke was coming home tomorrow and that there was to be a celebration
at the Larsen's Friday night, so he asked what was going on downstairs. "I
asked Dad what was up when he asked if I wanted to come over with him and
he said he and your parents had some business to discuss.

          "Luke and I wanted to have a family meeting to discuss our
situation, but you know that can't happen with the Larsens present, so Luke
came up with a scheme to get them out of town for the weekend. David, Mom
and Dad are working out the details now. I'm afraid Luke and I do not have
the option of keeping our love a secret the way you and Mary Kathryn do."

        "I guess not. Of course you don't. Matt, do you think we should
tell our parents? It's kinda dishonest not to, I guess. But. . . ."

         "Michael, the time will come when you will want the world to know
you're in love, but as you said when I found out, you're just
fifteen. You'll know when the time is right. Right now Gabrielle and Jens
have more to handle than they know about and some of their feelings about
Luke may spill over onto you and Mary Kathryn. Maybe you will want to tell
your dad. . . .  Ok, I was about to do it again. I was about to lie to you
or at least keep something from you that I have done. I seem to have a bad
habit of avoiding what might be painful because of my actions, but I think
I learned a lesson. I told Mom and Dad that you and Mary Kathryn knew about
Luke's love for me before I did and when they asked how, I told them. I
even told them why you had told Mary Kathryn and swore them to secrecy. I
really didn't mean to betray your trust, but it just sorta slipped out."

          I was surprised at Michael's response. "Two things, Matt.  First,
what was their reaction?"

          "They didn't seemed surprised or anything. They just asked why
you two were keeping it a secret. When I told them what the two of you had
said, they agreed that maintaining your friendship was very important and
thought that your taking time was wonderful. In fact, Dad said if he had to
choose between having Mom as friend and as a lover, he thought he'd have to
choose friend. What else?"

          "How are you going to keep from letting your secret slip out?  It
really doesn't matter if the world knows Mary Kathryn and I are a couple
since we're . . . you know."

           "Normal?"

           "No, that is not what I was going to say. I was going to say
since we are just two fifteen-year-olds. I guess, if you want to put it
that way, but I wouldn't, we are what people expect as being normal."

          "Thanks, Lil' Bro."

          "You're welcome, Bro."

          "Anyway, I think you and Mary Kathryn should decide who you want
to tell and when you want to tell, but I wouldn't tell the Larsens right
now. In the meantime, let your love grow, develop, mature if it will, if it
doesn't then you're young. . . ."

        "Matt, what about, you know . . . ."

        "Sex? We'll need to talk about that, but there better not be any
big rush about having sex, ok?"

        "Well, what about you and Luke?"

        "Same applies. No big rush, ok?" The two of us continued talking
about the loves of our lives for awhile longer then I said, "Let's go
downstairs and see how the plans are going."

         When we got downstairs, the three adults were having a glass of
wine. "I assume the plot has adequately thickened."

          David glanced at Michael and I realized that he didn't know the
whole story so I told him Michael knew about Luke before I did.

          When I had finished, Michael took a deep breathe and said, "Matt,
I think now's the time for telling my dad."

          "Telling me what?"

          "That I am in serious need of an additional feminine figure in my
life. I have one, I'm madly in love with Mary Kathryn and she with me, but
I need an older one as well, kinda a mother figure and you're going to have
to take care of that. I've already picked out Dr.  Bailey and all you have
to do is realize that as much as you loved and love Mom--and I also loved
and love her--there comes a time when you have to let go and get on with
your life and the time is now while that good looking, fantastic woman
Dr. Bailey is still available."


          I absolutely cracked up. Seems Michael has something in common
with Luke--cutting straight to the chase. Also, the look on David's face
was priceless. Mom was laughing so hard tears were running down her cheeks
and Dad was so absolutely out of control he fell off the sofa laughing.

          "Did I hear you say you were in love with Mary Kathryn??"

          "Stop trying to change the subject, Dad. I will handle the Mary
Kathryn question, but you're going to have to deal with the other."

          "Ok, I can see you tried to slip something past me, but it won't
work. We'll talk about this later. Meanwhile, we have done all we can do
about getting Gabrielle and Jens away for a weekend--a weekend they have
earned even if we didn't need them away, I might add. I have gotten the
place at the lake and arranged to have it stocked for a weekend. Greywolf
and Yong Jin have made reservations for a Saturday night dinner at the lake
lodge. We checked on times for Mass at St. Peter's by the Lake and they can
go at 6:00 Saturday evening or at 10 Sunday morning."

          "Champagne arranged for dinner?" I asked.

          "Yes, and you're paying for it," Dad replied.

          "Don't you think Luke should arrange to have roses sent to
Gabrielle? If I'm buying the champagne, he should do something."

          "Great idea, Pomul," Mom said, "and he needs to remember that
they are to be yellow, not red; Gabrielle loves yellow roses."

          "I just wish this was just a real celebration for the two of
them, a romantic weekend, and not also something to put off breaking their
hearts," Michael said. "Not that I don't think Matt's and Luke's love is
not absolutely magnificent, it is. I just hope I love as deeply, but we all
know that Jens and Gabrielle are going to be brokenhearted to learn that
Luke is in love with another man, even a man as great as my bro," Michael
said, sadly.

          We all knew what he said was true and I think we had been pushing
that part of the weekend's plan into the background. The room became very
still and very silent for the longest time.

          "I just hope and trust and pray that their love for their son
will help them overcome their disappointment and heartache and that they
will love and accept the man he loves. But I confess, I am frightened. I
know what happened to my brother. . . ." David suddenly had tears in his
eyes, "but I also know that Luke will never be without a home and people
who love him so long as I have breath."

           "That goes for all of us," Mom said.

          "Well, I guess we have done all we can do except hope and pray,"
David said. "By the way, to change the subject rather drastically, I want
to ask something about church."

           "That is a drastic change of subject," Dad laughed, relieving
the tension which had been in the room. "Fire away."

          "Well, you know that I haven't had anything to do with the church
for a long time now. I kept going after Elizabeth's death--primarily, I
guess, because of Michael. I was deeply hurt when my fellow church members
ignored us while she was sick and dying, even after her death, but I
couldn't keep going when week after week the sermon made some comment about
gays being damned to hell. One Sunday morning I looked at Michael and saw
my brother, clear as day, and it just about undid me. I had gotten over it
somewhat, but when the usual garbage about gays started coming from the
pulpit, I had a hard time sitting still. When the service was over, I had
had it. I saw red and had a couple guys not taken me in hand, so help me
God, I would have strangled a preacher. I absolutely worshiped my brother
and when my family drove him from the house, I died inside. Then when he
came to school to see me, I was overjoyed, but my father found out and
nearly beat me to death. To protect me, my brother disappeared from my
life. I still hurt from that."

          I realized I was crying and when David saw me, he said, "I'm
sorry, Matt."

          "No, David, I was just thinking that what your brother did for
you was what Luke was trying to do for me: protect me from those assholes
who believe gays are fair game."

          "You're right and you can appreciate my hurt. I am just so happy
that you still have Luke. I wish I had my brother. Anyway, I believe I am a
deeply religious person and I miss church, but I don't want to have to
endure what I have in the past."

          "David, I don't deny that there are people at St. Mary's who are
anti-gay and gay bash. I'm sure there are, but I have never heard them and
I can assure you, you will never hear any such from the pulpit," Dad said.

           "David, when Fr. Tom learned about me and Luke, he said that if
we loved each other we had his blessing--unofficial of course--but had it
nonetheless. I think that might answer your question."

          "Could I come and go to church with the Greywolfs Sunday?"

          "Of course! We would be delighted. Matt goes early since he has
to play and have a brief choir warm-up, but Yong Jin and I leave about 10
for the 10:30 service."

           "Matt, could I go with you?" Michael asked. "I'd go with Mary
Kathryn, but that might give away too much and besides, I think Fr. Muller
isn't too much different from what we experienced before."

          "Sure. I leave at nine if you can drag your butt out of the bed
that early."

          "Well, I guess we'd better go home, Michael. See all of you
tomorrow night."

          After all the good nights, we all went to bed, later than
usual. I, again, sang a silent thanksgiving for Luke and all who had worked
to bring him back to me and for all the support we were receiving. I fell
asleep thinking of Luke and dreamed of him.

          I awoke with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I mean,
really, one of the songs from Dad's records was running through my
head...at least the tune and first two lines:

     "More than the greatest love the world has known
         This is the love I give to you alone"

I knew that I would go nuts if I couldn't find the song and the rest of the
words, but I didn't have time this morning.

          When I went down for breakfast, Mom and Dad both gave me a big
hug. Mom said, "I hope you can keep your mind on school today, but I doubt
it since Luke will be home by the time you get out of school."

          "I'll try, but it will not be easy. By the way, Jens and
Gabrielle went to school earlier this week and learned Luke's absences were
excused. He feels his art exhibition will be no problem since he has works
enough to mount one now if he had to. German is a real laugh since he can
read, write and speak German better than Frau Holzhauser. That leaves the
three AP courses. I know that I can help him some with calculus, but I hope
Mr. Mitchell will at least let him join in our tutoring sessions. He's
depending on coming here to work on physics and English."

         "Of course we'll help all we can, but you two are going to have to
work and not sit mooning over each other or making out," Mom said.

          "Mom! How could you even think such a thing?"

          "Because I have been young and in love and haven't reached
senility yet," Mom laughed.

          "Gotta go," I said, "I'm making my last trip to the hospital
before school!"

           As I drove to the hospital, the tune and two lines from that
song kept running over and over in my head. I finally remembered it was
simply titled "More," but couldn't remember any other words.

           When I reached Luke's room, he was up, had showered, shaved--it
was about time. He was even dressed. "How are they going to poke and probe
you when you have clothes on?" I asked.

          "You're just upset because I have clothes covering the beautiful
body you'd like to crawl."

          "Not at all. I'm as cool as can be. I'm devoted to slow and
easy. You know that."  And with those words, I grabbed him, pulled him to
me and gave him a wild, passionate french kiss. I was learning fast!  His,
in return, was no less passionate and I must confess, there was some pure
lust in both. "Yonghon Tongmu, that's about all I can handle without. .
. ."

          "Yea, me too. Well, back to today. Apparently the only tests
won't involve more than drawing blood, a stress test, and another brain
wave and CAT scan and I can wear clothes for all that. "Course, if you want
to do a physical, I can get undressed."

           "And that would be the end of 'slow and easy', you can bet!"  I
said as I embraced Luke.  We were standing together, holding each other
tight, our lips meeting in a long, deep, passionate kiss. "Luke, you taste
so good! You taste as good as you smell."

          "You don't taste so bad yourself, Sarang Hanun Pomul, but I'm not
sure what you taste like. I need another taste." Once again his beautiful
soft lips touched mine, this time in a gentle, loving kiss. "I know, you
taste like my love, my Sarang Hanun Pomul."

          "Luke, I want to stay here all day with you in my arms, but I've
got to run or I'll be late for school. See you this afternoon at home!"

          "Matt, if you can find time, see if you can get all my
assignments so I can plan and begin getting caught up. I have to do well
because I may not have any money for college when my parents find out about
us. Besides, your parents and David would kill me if I do less than my
best!"

          "Well, the only one you really need to worry about is Mr.
Mitchell since you can get your assignments from Mom and Dad after school
and you know that it doesn't matter what Frau Holzhauser comes up with. And
you don't worry about money for college; the rest of the family is behind
you."

          "Ok, try to see Mr. Mitchell and I don't want to have to have the
family support me."

          "I have a tutoring session with him this afternoon and I'll talk
to him then. Bye, Lover."

           "Bye, Stud," Luke said as he kissed me.

          I did have a hard time keeping my mind on school. Both Mom and
Dad got a kick out of kidding me during their classes. Mom knew I was
sitting there dreaming of Luke so she asked, "Matthew, one of the themes
referred to in the selection just read is that of friends and lovers. How
would you define the two?"  I turned bright red, stammered a few times and
Mom finally had mercy on me and said, "Maybe if you could find it possible
to return to the classroom mentally as well as physically it would be
helpful."  The class laughed uproariously because Mom seldom made such
remarks to a student.

          I decided not to let her get away with her private joke and
responded, "Well, Mrs.  Greywolf, I believe the love of friendship has been
described as a willingness to lay down your life for your friend."

          "That's very good, Matthew. Now what about lovers?"

          "Well, if the love of a friend shows a willingness to lay down
your life for a friend, I guess that means the love of a lover means a
willingness to just lie down."

          "Matthew Sarang Hanun Pomul Greywolf what on earth do you mean by
that remark?"

          "Well, that's what some fellows told me in gym," I responded and
laughed.

          "Just wait until your father gets home!" Mom laughed, getting the
last word as bell rang. The students were falling out of their chairs
laughing.

           Dad got in a couple remarks as well and I knew that my parents
were just letting me know that they shared my joy the only way they could
in school.

            After school, I worked out both to pass the time and to get my
mind off wanting to leave without seeing Mr. Mitchell since I knew that
would never do. All the time I was working up a sweat those two lines from
"More" kept running through my head.

          Mr. Mitchell told me that I had caught up with my assignments and
had made all As on the makeup tests. He then suggested we spend the
tutoring sessions before the AP exam reviewing and prepping for it. I
agreed then asked him about Luke's assignments. "He's coming home today and
the principal told his parents he'd the same length of time to make up his
work as he was out of school."

          "Matt, I told you I decided to make an exception for you because
you were a very responsible and respectful young man. I meant that as a
high compliment.  At the time you told me you would stay focused and make
me proud of you. You have certainly done both.  Frankly, I am confident you
will make a 5 on the AP test. I don't think Luke can make up all he has
missed in the time he has been allowed. But he, too, has always been a very
responsible young man and shown the greatest respect for me, his other
teachers and peers. I want very much to see that he gets an A in calculus,
and, if at all possible, a 5 on the AP test. If you will help him do the
makeup work, and you surely should be able to do that, why not have him
join us for the tutoring sessions for the AP exam?"

          "You realize, Mr. Mitchell, that you are putting your reputation
for being a hard nose in great jeopardy. I think your idea is great and I
know Luke will appreciate it."

          "I just hope whatever caused him to attempt to take his life has
been worked out.  He is too fine to lose."

           "As you know, our families are more like one family than two and
I can assure you that his problem has been overcome."

          "I am more than pleased to hear that. Do you still have a list of
all the makeup assignments you have completed and the class work since?"

          "I certainly do."

           "Then you help Luke get those done and we'll start serious
review for the AP next week."

          "Mr. Mitchell, thank you again for your confidence in me and your
help. Thank you also for Luke." Then I did something I suspect no student
had ever done to Ron Mitchell; I embraced him in a bear hug, not knowing
what to expect in return.

           I was surprised when he hugged me back and said "Thank you very
much, Matthew."

           As soon as I was out of Mr. Mitchell's room I started running at
top speed for my Jeep. It was all I could do to keep from setting a new
speed record getting to the Larsens.

                           A Special Place Part Eight Luke

          After Matt left, I lay back on my bed saying over and over again
"Sarang Hanun Pomul and his Yonghon Tongmu together forever." My love for
Matt was so deep and intense that I found myself unable to contain my tears
of joy. "And," I thought to myself, "you almost destroyed the most
beautiful thing you have ever known, Matt's love, by ending your life.  I
knew that if it took giving my life for him and his love, I would do it in
a heartbeat. But I also knew that I didn't have to do anything.  Matt loved
me with his whole heart. He had freely and willingly and joyfully given his
love to me as I gave mine to him. "Sarang Hanun Pomul and his Yonghon
Tongmu together forever.

          But there was another side to our love. I knew my parents would
be heartbroken when they learned their only son was in love with a man. And
Matt was a man, make no mistake about that!  Beyond being heartbroken, I
did not know what they would do, but it frightened me. Also while Matt and
I had always been friends and everyone at school knew that, I wondered how
we could keep our new relationship secret. There was no doubt in my mind
that was crucial.  Today Chelsea had come to my room and talked to me about
how important it was that we be extremely careful about who we told. Matt
had told me Gladys had said as much to him before I came out of a
coma. Chelsea also told me the jerks who had abused Gregory had been given
a slap on the wrist. Since they were under seventeen, they were tried as
juveniles and the juvenile court judge had given them a year's
probation. He had said, in effect, that Gregory had chosen a lifestyle
which invited and provoked the attack and, as proof, he had pointed to the
fact that Gregory's parents had disowned him and weren't present for the
hearing. I was sick at my stomach when I heard that. I couldn't hold back
my angry tears and Chelsea held me until I regained control. Yes, what Matt
and I had was wonderful, priceless even, but the cost was going to be high.

          Before I went to sleep, I remembered my promise to Dad and Mom to
go to confession. I knew that what Fr. Muller would hear would satisfy him,
but it would not be the real truth.  Yet, if I told him the real truth, he
would probably refuse me absolution and when I could not receive the
Blessed Sacrament, my parents would want to know why. So I would tell him
only what he wanted to hear.

         I had told Matt that I needed to talk to Fr. Tom to thank him for
anointing and giving me the Sacrament the night I lay near death. And that
was true. What I did not tell him was that while I had always tried to be a
good Catholic, I was having real doubts about my religion.  Basically, it
rested upon my love of Matt and my church's condemnation of two men making
love. I had read tons of stuff on the internet and knew that the church
taught that parents should not abandon a child because he was gay, but that
the child, in order to be in good standing with the church had to remain
celibate.  I was like Matt, once I knew of his love for me, the idea of
remaining a virgin had not only not crossed my mind, but also seemed
downright sinful now when I think about it. But I am a very religious
person. Maybe not as religious as Matt but then Matt's religion gives him
much joy. And mine? I'm not sure what it gives me except guilt. No, that's
not true. I don't feel guilty. I feel dishonest, maybe, or hurt because it
condemns a great love. . . .  That confusion is what I really want to talk
with Fr. Tom about.

         My eyelids were growing heavy and I was drifting off to sleep when
I uttered a real prayer of thanksgiving to my loving God for all who had
kept me alive and especially for giving me Matt which made living that life
so wonderful. As I closed my eyes in sleep I, again, said those wonderful
words, "Sarang Hanun Pomul and his Yonghon Tongmu together forever.

          I was awaked early by an orderly who brought me breakfast. I got
out of bed and ate, then showered and shaved. I had a month's growth of
beard and it was pretty long. I debated about waiting and letting Matt
decide whether I should shave or not, then went ahead and shaved. It felt
so good! Mom had sent clothes by David and I got dressed in real clothes
for the first time in almost a month. I felt like a real human being
again. I had just finished dressing when Matt came in. We kidded around
about my being dressed and I offered to get undressed if he wanted to do a
physical. He reminded me that we had said slow and easy. Man, that is going
to be hard in more ways that one. I just hope one or the other of us can,
in Greywolf's words, manage to keep our brains out of our crotch because if
both can't. . .  well, slow and easy will go bye bye!

          After Matt left, I was called to the lab to have blood drawn and
then went for a CAT scan and an EEG, a brain wave test. Before I left the
hospital, I was told that preliminary evaluations showed everything to be
normal, as it had been since I came out of the coma.

          As soon as the last test was done, I went to Dr. Bailey's office
to see if she could see me.  She was with a patient, but when she finished,
she told me she had left the morning as open as possible so she could see
me. "I don't have another appointment for forty-five minutes and the time
is yours," she said as she closed the office door.

          "Well, I'm not sure why I needed to talk to you, but I knew I
did. One thing is very clear, I want you to know just how much I thank you
for all you did to keep me alive after my foolish attempt to end my
life. And even more than that, I want to thank you for me and Matt. Had it
not been for you, we might never have been together. That is the most
important thing in the world to me."

          "Luke, I'm a doctor and that means my job is to keep people
alive, but from you and Matt, I think I have learned that my vocation--you
know that word don't you?"  I nodded that I did. "My vocation is to enable
people to live, not just be alive. There is too much hate and pain and
suffering in the world to ignore anything thing you can do to increase love
and to eliminate pain and suffering. And I'm not talking about pills and
pain killers."

          "That brings up another thing, Dr. Bailey. Matt and I were kinda
kidding you when we talked about Michael and David, but we were also being
serious. You, yourself, had said you'd like to be a mother. I suspect you
hadn't planned on starting with a nearly sixteen year old, but you start
where you can. I've seen you and David together and I have every reason to
believe that if the two of you would be honest with yourselves, you'd see a
major increase in the love in the world. Matt and I have learned a real
lesson about keeping love a secret and apparently my sister and Michael
have as well. Won't you at least give the idea some thought?"

          "Here I am, an old woman getting advice for the lovelorn from a
seventeen-year-old. What is the world coming to? To be honest, Luke, I have
given what you and Matt said to me some thought--a whole lot of
thought. But I know David is still in love with Elizabeth and I know that I
could never take her place."

          "Who would expect you to take her place? No, what we're
suggesting is that you and David find and develop your own
relationship. Sure David is still in love with Elizabeth, and always will
be, but Elizabeth is gone. Furthermore, what makes you think that you would
be taking Elizabeth's place? You would be claiming a place of your own in
David's and Michael's hearts and lives. Their love for you is--and I am
positive IS is the right word--just that, their love for you. I know it is
so far as Michael is concerned and, unless I have been brain damaged, there
is your love for them--at least David and I know you will love Michael when
you know him.  He is a great and wonderful young man."

          "Luke, what can I say? I will promise you I'll continue to give
serious thought to what you have said and to what you and Matt said
earlier.

          "Well, Doctor, I want to remind you of two facts and then I'll
drop the subject.  First, this is the day of the liberated woman. Obviously
you fit the category since you are a doctor and women doctors were
practically unknown until recently. Second, 1996 is divisible evenly by
four."

          "So?"

          "It' a leap year, Doctor, you don't have to wait on David who
thinks he's too old for you, 'just a nurse', and besides, he doesn't think
any woman would be interested in a man with a nearly sixteen-year-old
son. 'Nough said."

          "Ok, 'nough said. What else did you want to talk about?"

          "Matt said you wanted to talk to us about sex and we'll have to
arrange for that, but I did want you to know that we are going to go slow
and easy with the sex thing."

          "Luke, to be honest with you, simply given your ages, I think you
will find that is very difficult. When you add the intensity of your love
for each other, I am much afraid that control is going to go by the boards
unless you really work hard at it. And above all, I hope and pray that your
first time will be so special that it will always be something you remember
with joy and delight. But again, if you're not careful, it will be a time
when you simply lost control. I don't envy you your struggle to keep the
first time special, but I rejoice in your love and respect for each other."

          "Dr. Bailey, I already know that maintaining control will, if
you'll pardon the expression, be a hard one. But while everything with Matt
is special, the first time must be super special.  And we do need to talk
to you about the whole gay sex thing. Matt told me there are some things we
really need to know."

          "Luke, when you and Matt are ready, give me a call. I want to be
as much help as I can. To get you pointed in the right direction, I have
ordered a couple books which I think are good.  When they arrive, I'll give
them to Matt because I know you don't want to have them at your
place. Also, there are some very good sites on the internet. Just be
careful to use your critical thinking when you start surfing because there
is also a lot of wrong and misguided information there as well. And, always
remember, I am here when you have questions and concerns."

           I got up, walked over to where Dr. Bailey was sitting and bent
over to hug her.  "Dr.  Bailey, you mean so much to me and to Matt. We love
you dearly and are ever thankful for your love and support and I know
Michael will be too."

           "You don't give up do you, Luke?"

           "I gave up on love once and promised myself that I would never
do that again. As you said, there's too much hate in the world and not
enough love. So, no, I have promised myself and my God that I would never
give up on love again!"

           "Luke, you are something else." With those words, Dr. Bailey
stood up and hugged me to herself. "You know, I feel as if I am at least a
stepmother to you two guys and I can't imagine having two greater sons." I
couldn't believe it when I saw tears forming in her eyes and then she
kissed me on the cheek and said, "Now call your mother, I'm sure she is
just waiting to have her beloved son home again."

            "Dr. Bailey, I only hope that is true, but I am frightened, if
the truth be known. I'm sure she wants some Luke Larsen home, but I'm not
at all sure she wants the Luke Larsen who is.  Only time will tell," I said
as I picked up the phone and called my mom. I then kissed Dr. Bailey on the
cheek and walked out of her office.

          Mom came into the hospital only minutes after I had called
her. She had already taken care of all the paperwork so we were ready to go
home at once. The drive home started in silence. I didn't know what to say.

          Mom finally broke the silence. "Luke, Matt is coming over after
school with all your assignments except for the Greywolfs'. You are to go
over to their place this evening to talk with them. Tomorrow night we are
celebrating your homecoming with a dinner for the whole family.  David is
going to pick up Dr. Bailey and bring her. I invited Dr.  Walker, but he
had a previous engagement and can't make it."

          "Did you say David was bringing Dr. Bailey?"

          "Yes, I couldn't reach her personally when I called so rather
than leaving a message with the receptionist, I asked David to tell
her. Why?"

           Now I was in a bind. If I told her that the four kids in the
family had been trying to get the two together, she would start asking
questions and heaven knows where that might lead. "I didn't understand you
at first. It really makes sense for David to bring her since he will be at
the hospital and she might miss the way out into the country." Mom bought
that.

           "Luke, I talked with Dr. Walker about what restrictions should
be placed on you in regard to school and so on and he advised none. In
fact, he said you should get back into some kind of training schedule at
once. I asked about your running since I know you loved that early morning
run and he said it was an excellent idea and that your body would set the
limits, otherwise there were none. He even thought you could go back to
school tomorrow, but I knew you had said you wanted to make your confession
then so he wrote your release to school for Monday."

           "Thanks, Mom. I know that our family isn't too much into
expressing our affection for each other, but I want you to know that I love
and appreciate you and Dad--and Mary Kathryn--very, very much," I said as I
leaned over and kissed my mom.  She almost ran off the road it was so
unexpected, but turned and smiled at me.

           "Luke, I love you very much as well. I have done an awful lot of
thinking and worrying about you over the last month. I have worried about
what I might have done to prevent. .  . you know. . .and one thing I
realized was what you just said, our family is not much into expressing
affection and I aim to change that, at least for myself." I was
thunderstruck.

            As soon as we arrived at home, Mom started putting food out for
lunch. There was enough for an army and I ate most of it. It was great to
taste Mom's cooking again. When we finished, I automatically gathered up
the dirty dishes and placed them in the dishwasher as I has always
done. When I finished, Mom asked if I was tired and needed to rest. I told
her I wasn't and that I was going to the basement and workout.  Not only
did I need to do that to recover my physical strength, but I needed
something to get my mind off Matt since I knew it would be awhile before he
got home from school.

          After I had done a thorough workout, I was sweaty as could be.  I
could even smell me and it wasn't the nicest smell in the world. I stank,
so I went to my room, undressed, tied a towel around my waist and went into
the bathroom. After I had the water adjusted to just the right temperature,
I climbed into the shower and took a long shower and washed my hair.  When
I finished, I stood before the mirror on the back of the bathroom door and
studied myself.  About the only time I stood before that mirror had been
when I was jerking off, thinking of Matt, but today was different. I took a
good, hard look at the Luke Larsen Matt loved.

            The blond hair was still there, though longer than it had been
since I was a kid. It was still so curly that even though it was very long,
it didn't look it. I laughed at myself when I thought, "Man, you have an
Afro!" since hair just didn't come, naturally anyway, blonder than
mine. While I had gained weight from eating like a horse and some muscle
tone from physical therapy, my face still looked thin and my body no longer
had the hard, sculptured look I had worked so hard to achieve over the past
year, but with daily workouts and running in the morning, it would become
so again. "It will once again be the body Matt loves," I thought to
myself. But as soon as the thought was finished, I knew it was wrong; Matt
loved me--all of me just the way I was. I was sure he would appreciate my
body when it once again looked as it had done before I dived into the
river--maybe even better looking--but I also know that Matt loved me, not
some super body.

          As I started thinking of Matt, my manhood made its presence
felt. Before there would have been no question about what to do, but I
began to wonder if bringing myself off was, somehow or other, betraying
Matt. Then I realized that keeping control was going to be difficult enough
without relieving sexual tension. The resulting explosion covered the
mirror as I dreamed of Matt and took care of my need for release.

          I had just cleaned the mirror and myself when I heard Matt's Jeep
arrive. He must have been flying from the noise he made skidding into the
drive.

				   ****

Hope you enjoy Part Eight. Part Nine will be along shortly, but is proving
a bit difficult to write. If you wish, write Sequoyah at
pendor@mailcity.com.