Date: Thu, 13 Feb 2014 10:30:51 -0800 (PST)
From: Danny Danny <dannyd274@yahoo.com>
Subject: A Tough Lesson Learned part five

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      "A Tough lesson learned.  Part Five"
      by Danny D



Sucking on Jeff's cut cock felt like one of the most natural things to do.
I loved gripping the firm shaft and the feel of the softness of the head as
it moved over my tongue and into my throat.  His moans and groans, the
thought of being pleasing to him and pleasuring him added to the excitement
of giving him head.

I licked the shaft of his cock down to his balls.  A musky smell filled my
nostrils.  I licked and sucked.  He moaned, "Oh fuck, yeah.  My God, Danny.
My God."  I remembered that Ryan said that Jeff liked to be bitten.  I bit
the skin of his scrotum.  "Oh yeah," he moaned.  I bit the shaft harder.
He moaned and moved his cock into my mouth.  "Bite," he whispered.  I took
him as deep into my mouth as I could and bit.  As I moved up his shaft
toward the head, I bit again and again, scraping my teeth over his cock.
He squirmed, "Oh yeah."  When I got to the head of his cock, I bit down.
He moaned loudly.  His body shook and he pulled me up to him and kissed me.
"You're going to make me come and I don't want to.  I want you to fuck me.
Please."

I got up and grabbed a condom.  We both looked at my cock.  It was
pulsating and pre-cum was hanging from the head.  I slipped on the condom.
"Where's the lube?" I said.  He pointed to his pants.  I found a small
bottle and lubed up my cock.  I tossed him the lube.  He lubed his ass.

He lifted his legs, spread them wide and arched his back.  I knelt and
leaned over him.  He grabbed my cock, put it against his butt hole, wrapped
his legs around me and pulled me into him.  I felt his sphincter grip onto
my cock.  Looking at each other, he moaned and grimaced.  I began to back
out.  "No," he said.  "No."  His legs pressed me closer toward him.  I
moved in.  All eight and a half inches disappeared.  I was balls deep and
he seemed to be writhing in pain.

"Are you okay?"

He laughed.  "Fuck, you are huge."  Again I started backing out.  He held
me in place. "I'm good," he said and smiled.  "Great."  He pulled me down
on top of him.  We kissed.  I thrust.  We moaned.

I went from worrying about hurting him to focusing on how incredible I
felt, kissing, fucking and being held.

"Fuck yeah," he whispered in my ear.  "Harder."

I stopped.

"Are you coming?" he asked.

I shook my head.  He said, "Close?"  I nodded.  "Just stay still for a
second."  I nodded.

I was at that place where one small movement and I would start shooting.
Neither of us moved.  Moments later, I pulled eight inches out and then
hard and fast slammed into him deep.  Wide-eyed, he grunted loudly.  Slowly
I pulled out eight and then slammed into him again.  Again he grunted, but
this time he laughed.  I pulled back, what felt like eight and one quarter
inches, and then slammed into him again.  He began kissing my neck, biting
my ear.  Again and again, I slammed into him.  Each time he grunted,
squirmed and chuckled.

Then I started fucking hard and fast.  There was a steady groan coming from
deep inside of him.  He reached between us and took hold of his cock.  I
kept fucking him.  As I got close, without thinking, I bit down on his
shoulder.

"Oh yeah, fuck.  Oh my God, fuck yeah."  He was stroking his cock.  "Bite,"
he moaned.  "Fuck me, hard," he groaned.

My climax hit like someone had shoved a live electrical wire up my ass.  I
thrust hard into him as deep as I could, using my toes to hold me against
him and came and came and came.  I collapsed on top of him almost wheezing.

Even though I had stopped coming, my body was still tensing and relaxing as
though I was having mini-climaxes.  I lay on top of him; his cum sandwiched
between us.  We kissed gently.  My body felt soft, relaxed, easy.  My cock
was still locked in his ass.

He chuckled.

"What?" I said.

"I thought I was going to have to tell you how to do this.  Did you take
lessons since last time?"

"I watched a lot of porn."  We looked at each other.  "I thought it was all
acting, but it was pretty intense for me."

He laughed.  "Intense?  Yeah, I'd say it was intense."

We climbed into the shower, washed each other and dried off.  He was
dressed before I had my underwear on.  "Well, I better go.  I'd rather not
be here when your brother comes home."

"He knows you were coming."

"Yeah, I know.  But I better go."

Harley sat up and followed us to the front door.  Jeff turned and said, "We
are going to do this again, right?"

"Yeah, sure."

"You like sucking dick, don't you?"

I nodded, feeling embarrassed by the question.

"You're great at it."

I went to my room.  Harley followed.  I sat at my desk, trying to decide
what to do.  I decided on a game on my computer.  Until Ryan came home, all
I thought about was Jeff and how incredible kissing him, biting him,
fucking him, sucking him, feeding him my cock and cum and lying in his arms
afterward had been.  Even though I had come twice, my cock got hard.  Ð
that's what being sixteen was like for me and I imagine a lot of other
guys.  I wished he hadn't left so soon.  I wondered if Jeff would want to
do it again the next week.

Harley sat up.  She was working.  I got up and followed her to the back
door.  She began wagging her nub of a tail.  I smiled, marveling at how she
could tell that it was Ryan.  Probably the sound of his walk.  The door
opened into the kitchen.  Harley ran to him.  "Hey girl.  Did you guard my
baby brother?"

"Eat me," I said.

He smiled.  "So, how did you do being home alone?"

"Give me a break.  Beside, Jeff was here for a while.  How was your date?"
I asked following him into his room.

"Good.  We had a great time."  They went to dinner, a movie and then met up
with friends and had pizza.  "We're going out again next Saturday."

"Cool."  I wanted to ask if he got laid, but it seemed wrong to ask.  If
this was a pick-up he'd be happy to talk about what he did, but he never
did when he had a girlfriend the year before.  I just sat in my room and
heard them trying to collapse his bed.

He asked about Jeff.

"Same as last time.  He wanted me to fuck him without a condom.  I said no.
But he brought lube, so I fucked him."  I didn't say anything about
kissing, or holding.  I wasn't sure why.  But I did think it was strange
that he talked about walking with Jennifer, holding her hand and kissing
her but said nothing about sex.  And I was talking about nothing but sex
and leaving out the holding and kissing.

I was lying on his bed.  He undressed.  Standing naked, he looked at me and
then at his computer.  "Porn," I said, motioning with my hand like I was
jerking off.

He smiled.  "I'm really horny."  I noticed his cock getting hard.  "I
suppose you're not."

"Not really horny, but you owe me.  Remember?"

He laughed.  "Yeah, okay.  Get your chair."

When I returned, I was naked.  He was already at his computer and pulling
up a porn site.  His dick was hard and pointing to the ceiling.  I felt
mine come to life.  We watched porn.  He looked at me and said, "I'm close.
So, I'm shooting for over my shoulder."

"And on your face."

He smiled.  "Okay.  Here goes."  He stroked fast and hard.  His balls
bounced and then pulled tight against his body.  His body was amazing.
Broad shoulders, rounded pecs, v-shaped torso, trimmed pubes, egg-sized
balls and a nice sized dick.  Sitting there, masturbating, he looked better
than anyone on any jerk off video I had found.  The muscles in his legs
tensed.  He thrust as the first shot of cum exploded from his cock.  It
went feet above his head and behind him.  Then he changed the aim of his
cock.  The second shot hit him hard in the face as did the next and the
next.  The rest landing on his chest.

He looked at me and smiled.  "I think I beat you."

"Yeah, I think you did.  I moved toward him.  His cum is fairly thick.  I
moved a gob from his forehead and cheek to his mouth.  He chuckled and
stuck out his tongue.  "This is hot," I said.

"This turns you on?"  I nodded as I moved another gob to his mouth.  "Why?"
he said as he moved several thick gobs of cum around on his chest,
gathering it all as one.

"I don't know.  But I think it's really hot to watch someone eat cum.,
especially a straight guy."

"Real men eat their own cum," he said.  We laughed.  I noticed him glance
down at my dick, which was hard.  "Can you come again?" he asked.

I smiled and nodded.  "Why?  You want to watch me eat mine?"

"No.  Well, yeah, I guess, but I was thinking that I can jerk off again if
you're going to."

"Yeah sure," I said.  "I can get off again.  Let's do it."

I watched as he scooped up his cum.  I thought he was going to eat it, but
instead he reached toward me and let it drip onto my cock.  I watched.
Then he spread it around my cock head with his fingers and onto the shaft.
"It makes great lube," he said.  Then he used the rest to spread over his
cock.

I stroked my cock, sliding my hand up and down.  He stroked his.  The room
was filled with the sound of us wet jerking and the smell of cum.

"How about some porn?" he said.  "Gay porn?"

"Yeah. Sure."  I used my other hand and the mouse to locate my favorite
site.

"Sucking stuff," he said.  "I don't know why but the butt fucking stuff
doesn't really do it."

"How about sucking and coming on a guys face?"

"Yeah, that's hot."

We watched several videos before we each sat back and came.  He smiled at
me as he moved his cum around his chest and stomach.  I laughed and did the
same.  "Do it," he said.  I smiled, nodded and scooped up my cum and ate
it.  I watched as he did the same.

Then it was to the shower and then to the kitchen for a snack.  We made
sandwiches and sat naked in the backyard.  He talked more about Jennifer.
He really liked her.  I wanted to say something about my feeling about Jeff
and how I liked the intimacy of kissing and holding, but I didn't.  I knew
what he would say.  Jeff's a player.  Be careful.

I studied with Jamie on Monday and a couple of other nights that week.  And
we started swimming.  Tryouts for the varsity swim team were just weeks
away.  He brought up homecoming again.  I lied, which I always hate to do.
Before my mother passed away she made me promise to be honest with myself
and especially with my dad and brother, two people she insisted I could
trust.  I told Jamie that my father wouldn't allow me to take a date to
homecoming.  In actually, my dad had asked me if I was interested in going
to homecoming since Ryan was going.  I said no.

Jamie said, "Well, if he won't let you bring a date, why don't you come
alone?  A lot of people go alone.  They'll be girls to dance with.  Fuck, I
bet half the girls with a date would rather be with you than who they're
with."

"You are so full of shit.  Besides, I'd feel like a jerk going when
everyone I know is going with a date," I said angrily.  He looked surprised
by my tone.  I think it surprised me too.  "I'm not going.  And talking
about it with you and my brother doesn't make any of this easier for me."

"Okay.  Sorry."  He looked embarrassed.

Generally, I'm a very affable kind of guy, so people are often surprised
when I get angry.

Jeff had come over a couple of times on a Saturday night before the
homecoming weekend.  He wasn't dating anyone in particular, but I knew he
and his friends would be on the hunt at the dance. Before he left, while we
were in the shower, I asked him about it.

He said, "Fuck yeah, we'll be looking.  After last nights game, Gary and I
hooked up with two girls.  It was pretty hot."

I felt that gnawing feeling in my guts.

"Your brother and I used to cruise for pussy, but now he's got his junk in
a locked box."

"Don't talk about my brother," I said, glaring at him.  I got out of the
shower.

"Okay.  Okay.  I was joking," he said following me.  "You know your brother
and I are tight."

He dressed.  I put on a pair of boxers.  In the past, I wished he would
stay longer.  This time I wanted him to leave.  I stood there waiting,
staring at him.

"You're pissed," he said.

I just stared.

"You know, it's not like we're boyfriends," he said, pulling on his pants.

"I didn't say we were."

He gathered his stuff and left.  I felt sad, very sad.  I crawled into bed.
When Ryan arrived home, I was still awake.  He came into my dark bedroom,
stood beside my bed and whispered, "Danny."  I lay there with my eyes
closed and didn't move.  He went to his room.

I went to the homecoming game.  We won.  I enjoyed myself, but was very
aware of not being with a girl.  It sucked.

There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of my mother, but at
times like these I missed her terribly.  After Ryan told me that my mother
thought I was gay and that she was okay with it, I often lay in bed talking
to her and trying to imagine what she would say.

I tried really hard to act excited for Ryan.  Things seemed to be working
out with Jennifer.

They had a talk.  They enjoyed being with each other and really liked each
other, but they were applying to different colleges and had different
goals.  "We're being realistic," Ryan said to me.  "This is our senior
year.  We want to have fun, enjoy each other and then feel sad when it's
time to say good bye, but without regrets."

"She's nice," I said.  "I like her a lot."  I had been hanging out with
them some at school and on weekend days at the beach or the library.  He
hadn't brought her home when my dad wasn't there as he had the year before
with his other girlfriend.  "You don't have to answer this.  And I'm not
being a creep looking for info, but you haven't said,"

"Last week for the first time.  It was great."

"Oh, cool."

"I wanted to tell you last week.  I almost did."

"Why didn't you?"

"Ah.  Not sure."  He stared at me.  "Look, I know how much this homecoming
thing is bothering you.  It bothered me when I couldn't go.  And Jamie has
a date.  I just,"

"Okay, so I get it," I said curtly.

"Don't get pissed off."

"Don't not say stuff.  I want us to tell each other stuff.  I can be
excited for you."

"Okay, but then you can't `not say stuff''.  I know you're not tell me
about you and Jeff."

"Go to homecoming.  If you want to bring her here afterward, it's really
cool with me.  Really, Ryan."  He stared at me.  "Ryan, really.  I'm happy
for you.  Besides, I like hearing you trying to destroy your bed."

He smiled.  "Only if you promise that we'll talk.  Really talk.  Brother to
brother."

I smiled.  "Promise."

I watched him get dressed.  Twice he changed clothes.  Finally, with my
help he left looking really hot, but before he left his room he handed me
one of two joints he had.  "Smoke it outside.  Dad's nose is like a dope
detector."

We had a picnic table in our backyard.  Often Harley climbed on it so as to
get the extra height to look beyond our property.  We keep it far enough
away from the fence so she can't use it to jump over the fence.  I went
outside, lit the joint and lay on the table, staring up at the stars.
Harley joined me.  She rested her head on my chest.  "Good girl.  I'm
okay," I said, petting her.

If I lay down on the floor, or grass, or on the picnic table, Harley would
lie down beside me and rest her head on my chest.  One day my dad noticed
us on the lawn and said, "She's working".

"Working?  How?"

We had gotten Harley when my mom became sick.  She was with us for many
reasons Ð guard dog, as an aide and a pet.  "If you were to fall to the
floor, or if she were to find you on the floor, she would first rest her
head on your chest.  When you breathe, your chest moves.  She's trained to
see if you are breathing."

"And if I'm not?"

"She'd start barking and wouldn't stop until someone came and she wouldn't
attack."

"Yeah, and if I'm breathing.  Let's say I fell asleep."

"She'd check your chest and then lick your face and bark until you
responded.  If you didn't respond, she'd go into barking continuously."

"Damn, Harley.  You're smarter that my brother," I said.  He was sitting
nearby.

I scratched her head Ð she loved it when I'd run my finger from the area
just above the space between her eyes, down between them and then down the
length of her nose.  If I stop, she'd wait a moment and then nudge my hand
with her nose.  I took several hits and then squeezed off the head of the
joint.

I lay there talking to my mother: This is fucked.  It's not fair.  I can't
tell people that I'm gay.  I guess if I did, I'd probably meet people who
are, but no one is really out at school.  Well, two girls I know are and
there's that one guy who everyone knows is gay.  Besides, Ryan is right.
I'd just take a lot of shit and the people that didn't give me shit would
just ignore me and I'd be here with Harley talking to you anyway.  And I
know what you'd tell me about Jeff.  I'm going to tell Ryan everything
tomorrow.  I already know what he'll say Ð Jeff's a player.  I told you
not to have feeling for him.  But how do you stop having feelings for
someone.

She never answered.  I mean these conversations were always in my head and
I'd get answers in my head, but they weren't from her.

Tears filled my eyes when I tried to remember what her voice sounded like
and couldn't.

Sometimes I wished Harley could talk.  She'd probably say the same thing
Ryan said.  "Wouldn't you girl?"

Eventually, after smoking most of the joint, I went inside and put a pizza
in the oven.  Harley loves pizza, especially the crust.  We shared.  Then I
went to bed.  I thought about jerking off, but uncharacteristically I
wasn't in the mood.

Harley woke me with a growl.  I listened.  She was on all fours and tense.
She growled again and then her nub waged.  It was Ryan.  He called to her.
My bedroom door was closed.  She ran through the bathroom, into his room,
down the hall and into the kitchen.  I heard him say, "Say hi to Jennifer."
I listened.  He said, "Let me put her back in Danny's room."

He and Harley came into my room.  "Sorry to wake you," he said.

"It's cool."  I got up, got my phone and ear buds.  "I'll fall back to
sleep listening to music."

I closed both doors.  I got into bed, put music on and my ear buds in.
Harley was standing at the door to the bathroom, which lead to Ryan's room.
"Come here.  They're okay."  She lay beside my bed.  I curled up and
eventually fell back to sleep.

It was another late Sunday morning for me.  My day to sleep in.  Sunday is
Dad's day to keep busy so that he can stay awake.  After breakfast he
headed to Costco.  He asked if I wanted to go with him.  "Homework," I
said.

I went to my room and started an English paper.  American Literature -
Essays by Emerson.  Transcendentalism.  I think he was my kind of guy.  He
believed that people are inherently good.  It's organized religion and
political parties that corrupt society.

Ryan came into my room.  Time for a talk.  "We were pretty quiet last
night," he said.

"I fell asleep."

"So, is there anything you want to know?"  I stared at him.  I shook my
head.  "What's going on with you and Jeff?" he said.

I explained everything.  "I know you said not to have feelings.  I didn't
think I was.  But," I sighed.  "It's stupid."

"It's not stupid.  Remember last year with me.  I knew it was just a thing
until she moved on or I moved on, but I got in over my head.  My head said
one thing and my heart wouldn't listen."

"I tried not to have feelings."

"I believe you.  It's the kissing and the holding and being lonely and that
talk," he said.

"Talk?"

"You're wonderful.  You feel so good.  Especially, the talk after sex while
you're holding each other.  When I'm into it for just getting off, I never
say much and no kissing and holding after sex.  You know what they say.
Wham Bam thank you Mam.  In your case it's thank you man."

I laughed.  He was right.

He said, "Jeff is never going to be there just for you.  He's never going
to be your boyfriend."

"I don't know if I want a boyfriend.  I mean I don't see myself walking
around school holding hands with some guy.  I'm not sure I'm ready to come
out, so I get that he doesn't want to either.  I'm okay with that.  I don't
know.  I'm confused."

"You want him for yourself, someone you can count on, someone who won't be
with you one minute and then with someone else the next.  And worst of all,
talk to you about being with someone else."

"You mean having sex?"

"Having sex."

I sat thinking.  "Yeah.  I mean I don't care if he doesn't say a word to me
at school.  Really I don't.  It's just hard to think about him having sex
with everyone else."  I sighed.  "I guess that's stupid."

"If that's what you want, then that's what you should have.  But with Jeff,
if you tell him that's what you want then he won't be with you.  Believe
me.  I've been where he's at.  There were girls who wanted me to be with
just them.  I just moved on.  I wasn't ready.  He's not ready."

Silence.

"Would you rather it be the way it is with him or stay friends but cut out
the sex?"

Silence.

I said, "Stay friends and cut out the sex."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah.  I was happy before this and I'm happy jerking off and maybe I'll
find someone who wants it like I do.  On the DL, but just him and me."

He chuckled.  "DL?"

I smiled and nodded.

He said, "Get back to your paper.  I've got pre-calculus that's kicking my
butt."

He left my room but immediately returned.  "Dad's going to crash after
dinner, it's Sunday.  I've got a lot of homework but later tonight, you
want to do some porn."  He smiled.

"Sure.  I didn't even jerk off yesterday."

"Really?"  He chuckled.  "You think you can hold back until tonight?"  I
laughed and nodded.  He said, "Okay, so no long shower."

My dad did go to bed early.  I spent all day on my paper, Spanish homework
and algebra.  Actually, my paper wasn't due for over a week and I was a
week ahead in algebra.  Spanish, just keeping up.

We did jerk off that night, sitting at his computer.  I had found several
videos that I thought he'd enjoy.  We watched some gay porn, mostly guys
jerking off, sucking themselves and sucking each other.  I'm not sure why,
but he really enjoys the ones of guys self-sucking.  He had straight and bi
porn with two guys and one girl.  I came first and shot my load all over my
chest and stomach.  With some trepidation, I scooped up my cum and dripped
it onto his cock and then spread it around.

He watched me do it and then went right back to staring at the screen, and
jerking off.  I started beating off with my cum.  He leaned back in his
chair, moaned while he stroked hard and fast.  I stopped jerking off and
watched.  He groaned.  His legs went straight out in front of him and
tensed.  His cock went from being aimed at his chest to being pointed at
me.  It wasn't until I saw the first gob of cum exploding from his cock
that I realized I was the target.  The first shot got my forehead and hair.
My reaction was to pull away and laugh.  But he's a distance kind of guy.
He turned his hips toward me and kept firing.  I got hit on the shoulder,
the arm, the back and the leg.

I laughed.  He laughed.  I'm not sure why it was funny, but I kept laughing
and so did he.  I went to the bathroom and wiped myself clean and kept
laughing.  "You are so dead," I kept saying.  "I'm going to drown you in
sperm."

When we went back to jerking off we'd start laughing again, because we both
knew that he was going to be my target.  When I got close, I turned to him.
He said, "I'm not even going to run."  He sat staring at me and smiling.  I
stood beside him.  He laughed.  "I wasn't this close."  I kept jerking.
When I came, I shot my load on his chest, stomach and junk."

"Fuck, that's your second load and you've got that much," he said, running
his hand over his chest and stomach.  Then he started masturbating.

"I skipped yesterday," I said.

He came.  We showered separately.

Midterms were upon us.  Michael joined Jamie and me to study for algebra
and chemistry.  We studied hard, but both Jamie and Michael are cut-ups and
so I am, but I wasn't feeling it.  I had English with Jamie.  Our papers
were due.  I read his and he read mine.

"You're such a good writer.  And I suck at it," he said.  "I need the grade
so tear it up all you want."

He had good ideas but he was very unorganized in presenting his arguments.
I moved a lot of paragraphs and sentences around, but hardly changed
anything he wrote.  When I gave it to him to read, he said, "Wow, the way
you did this makes it so much better.  I really owe you."

"No you don't.  We're best friends."

He stared at me.  "You're not pissed at me."

"What?  Why would you think that?"

"I don't know.  You seem like you're upset or angry or," he hesitated.

"Say it."

"Like you're not joking around like you always do.  You know, saying
stuff."

I knew what he meant.  "Just a lot of stupid stuff going on.  But we're
good."

"I don't think Amanda and I are going out anymore."

"Why?  What happened?"

"I kind of got behind in school and my parents said if I did `no more
dating'."

"You weren't behind.  You're doing okay.  Aren't you?"

"Yeah, but I did get behind.  It's okay.  It was just for homecoming.  They
gave me a choice.  Ð swimming or dating.  They said I couldn't do both."

"Friday is varsity tryouts," I said.

"You'll make it for sure.  I hope I do too," he said.

"If I do, you will."

Ryan drove Jamie home.  I told him what Jamie told me about dating.  He
looked at me and said, "Interesting."

"What?"

"He likes you."  He glanced from the road to me and back.  "I wonder if he
thinks that his date with Amanda bothered you."

"What are you saying?"

"I just wonder if he's telling you that he's not interested in girls and
interested in you because he thinks you're attracted to him."

"That's bullshit.  I think he's just saying that he feels bad that Dad
won't let me date and that he's not able to date for a while.  You know, we
both can't date so I shouldn't feel bad.  It's not he's gay and he's
wanting to blow me."

Ryan smiled.  "Yeah, maybe.  Maybe I just want you to have a boyfriend.
You know a DL boyfriend.  Are you going to say anything to Jeff?"

"When he says he wants to hook up.  Then I'm going to."

It wasn't long before Jeff approached me.  And the way he did made it easy
for me to say what I wanted to say.  It was after school.  Ryan offered to
drive me home.  He was with Jennifer.  I told him that I would walk home
with Jamie.  I did.  He lives closer to the school so we went to his house
first and then I started walking home.  Jeff lives a couple of streets from
Jamie.  As I walked to my house, Jeff drove by.  He stopped and said he'd
drive me home.  "I'll be over Saturday night, but I can't stay long.  Gary
and I are going to a party later."

"Don't bother."

"Why?"

"I'm not into this anymore."

"Why?"

"This all makes me feel like shit.  I don't like feeling like shit. So, I'm
not into it anymore."

"I don't get it.  I thought you were into the sex.  I mean you seemed
really into it."

"Yeah.  The sex is good, but,"

"I told you I'm not into the boyfriend shit," he said driving up to my
house.  "This has to be on the DL."

"I'm fine with the down low stuff, but I'm not okay with being one of
someone's hook ups.  So, let's just stop."

"I don't understand."

"Really?  I just explained it."  Saying this felt really hard for me.  I
had never done anything like this before.  I wanted to get out of the car.

"But it was fine before.  Why can't we just do what we were doing?"  He
reached over and put his hand on my leg, but very close to my basket.

"Because it's bothering me."

He pressed one finger into my junk.  "Come on.  You know you enjoy it."

"I said the sex was good, but I feel bad."

"But I told you this is the way it was going to be."

"Yeah, I know, and I thought it was okay, but it's not."

"How about if I come over Saturday night and we'll talk about it."

"No."  I shook my head and put my hand on the door handle.

He pressed his hand hard against my junk.  I moved it away.  "Danny, I
really don't understand."

"Really?" I said angrily.  My face was burning and I felt like I was going
to cry.  "Then you're as stupid as you look."

I opened the door and got out.  I guess I'm nasty not just in the morning
and not to just my father.  I felt embarrassed about saying I couldn't
handle this.  I felt awkward in `breaking up' with someone.  And I felt
stupid about being a guy who couldn't just fuck like Ryan had for months
and like Jeff was doing.  So with all of that going on, I verbally attacked
him.

My dad was home.  We chatted a bit.  I told him I had a lot of homework to
do.

I went to my room and lay on my bed.  Harley sat beside my bed staring at
me.  "What?" I said.  She acted happy.  "Yeah, I like you too, but leave me
alone.  Go lay down."  She did.

After dinner, I told Ryan about my talk with Jeff.  He laughed when I told
him what I said.  "He understood.  He just didn't want to give up something
that he was enjoying a lot."  He laughed again.  "Good line Ð as stupid
as you look."

Jamie and I made varsity.  I made out like it was nothing, but it was
great.  When I told Ryan that night, he attacked me and wrestled me to the
floor.  Harley ran around my room barking at us.  Ryan held me down,
tickled me and then did something that he's done since I could remember.
He stuck his tongue in my ear and got it wet with his spit.  He jumped off
me and laughed.  "You are so fucking gross," I complained trying to wipe
the spit from my ear.  What was always unfair about this was that I often
tried to do it to him when he did something cool, like make varsity
basketball, but I was never strong enough and it would get turned on me.

I told my dad.  "Congratulations," he said.  "I won't be able to make your
meets, but pick one that you'd like me to come to and I'll take time off."

"Thanks Dad," I said.  He did the same thing with Ryan and basketball.

My dad worked on Thanksgiving.  But one of the wives of one of the men he
worked with invited us over for an early dinner.  They have three younger
children who were in middle and elementary school.  We've had holiday
dinners at their house before.  It's always good.  My dad brought pies Ð
apple, pumpkin, pecan Ð for dessert.  We had a good time.

He always works Thanksgiving so that he can get Christmas off.  We
celebrated Christmas at home a couple of years after my mom passed away.
It was very sad.  Since then my dad thought we'd have a better time if we
went away for Christmas.  We started going to Mammoth Mountain and decided
that that would be our way of celebrating Christmas.  He'd take a week off
which meant that he would have ten days off Ð Sunday through Tuesday.
He would book a two-bedroom condo for seven nights.

Ryan and I loved spending the time with our dad and especially snow
boarding and skiing.  I was looking forward to going away.

The Friday after Thanksgiving, Jeff called me.  He wanted to come over and
talk.  I told him that I was going to Jamie's house that afternoon and was
invited for dinner.  He suggested Saturday afternoon.  He'd pick me up.

Ryan took off early that day.  He was doing something with Jennifer.  I was
waiting for Jeff when he drove up.  It was raining.  November is the
beginning of the rainy season in San Diego.  And a rainstorm that comes
down from the north is great news because that means it's snowing in the
Sierras.

I wasn't sure why I said I would talk to Jeff, especially like this.  He
could have just said what he wanted to say at school.  I was going to be on
my guard.

"What do you want to talk about?"

He was heading to the beach.  "I said that I didn't understand what was
going on with you but I really do.  It wasn't bothering me like it was you,
maybe because I was the one hooking up with other people."

"People?"

"Girls.  Just girls."  He said quickly.  "But it's been bothering me since
we stopped."

"Bothering you?"

"If I stop hooking up with girls," he hesitated.  "We can't be boyfriends,
but I could stop hooking up.  I mean I'll still hang out and stuff and
we'll still do the same thing at school."

"Make like we don't see each other."

"Yeah.  I know that's fucked up, but,"

"No.  I get it," I said, feeling excited and nervous.  "You'd really do
that?"

"Yeah," he said and parked the car.  We were at the beach.  There were a
few guys out surfing, but not many and there was no one parked near where
we parked.  "I'm really not gay.  I mean, I really like you and being with
you.  If you were a girl and we were having great sex like we were then I'd
be saying the same thing.  I just don't know any girls that I want to be
with more than once or twice."

"So you're saying you're not going to have sex with anyone else?"  He
nodded.  "You're sure you really want to do that," I asked, half believing
him.

"Yes.  I really missed you."

He reached over and pressed his hand into my junk.  He smiled when he felt
the stiffness of my cock.  "We can do it here," he said.

I looked around.  "Here?  It's daytime."

"I used to blow your brother here during the day."  I felt my face
tingling.  He said, "We'll, blow each other.  While I'm down on you, you
keep an eye out.  When you're down on me, I'll watch.  But no one comes
down here to park when there's parking over there."

I was rock hard.  I glanced around.  Anyone who wanted to park near us
would be seen before they got near us.  He kept pressing his hand into my
crotch.  I looked at him and nodded.  He tried to unzip my jeans.  I pushed
his hand away and got my cock out.  His head went down.  The warmth of his
mouth felt amazing.  I was surprised at how quickly I was near to orgasm.
He stopped and sat up.

I watched as he unzipped and pulled his cock from his pants.  He put his
hand to the back of my head.  I glanced around and then went down on him.
"Oh fuck, Danny," he said.  "I've jerked off every night thinking about
this."

I sucked his cock.  He had his hand on my head.

"Yeah, just like that.  Fuck, you're incredible."

I missed sucking his cock.  I bobbed up and down.  I licked and sucked.  He
applied pressure to the back of my head, pressing me down.  His cock went
deep into my throat.  He moaned loudly.  I bit down, ran my teeth over the
shaft and then he head of his cock.  He groaned, keeping his hand on my
head.  I felt his cock head get firm.  I thought he was about to come.  I
started to lift off him.  "No, I can get it all over me," he said and
pressed me down hard.  But, in truth, I didn't need much encouragement.
Although, I hadn't swallowed his cum in the past, I had wanted to.

"Oh fuck," he moaned.  He came and I swallowed.

Sitting up, I said, "I didn't know you were going to do that."

"How would I explain cum all over my clothes?"  Then he went down on me.  I
glanced around.  No one in sight.  I relaxed and gave myself over to what
he was doing.  Ryan was right.  He gave incredible blowjobs.

Perhaps it was the thrill of being outside.  Perhaps it was how good he was
at giving head.  Or perhaps it was the fact that I hadn't had sex with
someone in over a month.  But whatever it was I came fast and hard, very
hard and I came a lot and he swallowed and swallowed and swallowed.

Sitting up, he wiped his mouth and said, "Fuck, you are incredible.  Giving
up girls to do that again is worth it," and laughed.  "I just wish we could
fuck here."

"I don't have a condom."

"I know.  Besides," he said as he zipped up, "it would be too cramped in my
backseat."  We looked at each other.  He smiled.  "I mean the backseat of
my car."

We laughed.

He drove me home.  "I can come by tonight.  You can fuck me."

I stared at him.  "Yeah, that would be good."

"Is Ryan going out?"

"He said a movie with Jennifer and friends.  Then I'm sure they'll be
coming back to the house."

"Okay, so when he leaves, call me.  But I'll have to be gone before they
get back.  Is that okay?"

I took a deep breath.  It wasn't the way I really wanted things to be, but
I said yes.  I knew that he was worried about Jennifer finding out.  "Yeah,
it's fine."