Date: Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:11:18 GMT
From: "kingdom333@netzero.com" <kingdom333@netzero.com>
Subject: admire-me/party conflict/chapter 4

I know my chapter numbering is weird, but I hope you all can bear with
me. I will try to up date this story as frequent as possible. Thank you all
for the positive emails. I hope I can keep you all entertained. Keep the
feed back coming it's inspirational to my writing.

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Chapter 3 party conflict

I was laying back just taking in the presence of the most tremendous guys
ever. I spend the majority of my days with these guys. They have an
important place in my heart. It feels like they have become another part of
me. I cant see myself without them. I don't even know how I would cope with
this reality if one of them was missing.

My friends cause a flood of the best emotions known to man. I cant help,
but feel...how should I put it, Empty inside. I still have a great time
with them, but it's like something isn't there. Like..like a missing link
somewhere. Whatever the link maybe, it causes confusion, and a dark pit of
despair for me.

I'm glad they can't see the inside of me where the pit lies. If they could
they would ask questions I don't have the answer to.

This dark pit makes some nights of sleeping, trouble and with my emotions
adding to the thing without me knowing it. Makes it only bigger and harder
to stop. I cant cure the hurt it's just there.

I laid there zoned out in my own thinking. While the rest of the clique
entertained their selves with horror movies, and playing games. I was to
lost in thought to participate. They know when I'm thinking, leave me to
myself. But that rule didn't stop them from occasionally looking back to
check on me.

Nobody brought any sleeping attire. Ryan took it upon his self to give
everyone some of his fresh basketball shorts. I'm sure he never had the
chance to wear them. He has so much to choose from in his closets and
drawers that it wouldn't matter to give some of it away.

I'm happy he did, because I can's sleep in pants it feels icky!

I had the perfect view of watching everybody change before me. When I put
my shorts on, I felt more relaxed. the material brushed over my legs while
I laid against Ryan's silk fluffy bed. His bed felt like a cloud and I
couldn't keep my eye lids from closing...

*Dream*

I was in a dark pit chained up. I couldn't move or talk. My fear level
intensified and my heart raced for help. I began to panic think of any name
I could. I needed someone to save me. I tried to fight to break free from
the darkness and the chains.

Nothing helped, the more I moved the heavier the chains got. Please let me
out of here, it is too dark! Please...I don't deserve this!

Where am I? after asking that question the events in my dream began to
warp. I was trying to get out of this sad situation for once. My mind began
to produce several ideas giving me clues and small hints of where I could
be...

Unfortunately before I could figure it out I was coming back to
consciousness...

My eyes popped open and I took a deep heaving breath like I had been under
water too long. Sweat formed a thin coating on my skin. When my eyes
adjusted to my surroundings. I felt relived in that very moment.

I did notice that there wasn't a light anywhere in Ryan's room at the
time. My body finally came out of shock and I could feel again, but I was
feeling something new and This was physical.

I laid on my back when I fell asleep. Right next to me was Jade laying on
his stomach with his right leg in between both of my legs. Wow!!

Ryan's heavy arm was wrapped around my midsection. I lifted his arm up and
slid Jade's leg where it belong. It was an intriguing way to wake up. I
never thought I would get to be in the position I was just in. I should
have stayed there, but I have to get to the bathroom.

Gaining my strength back, I sat up in the bed, inching out of
there. Careful not to wake anyone else up. Keylan was at the bottom of the
bed sleeping. I had to slink my body over his.

When I was on my own feet now. I made my way to the bathroom. On my way I
saw Korbyn wrapped up in sheets on Ryan's floor. Sleeping like the
lovely...never mind. Scratch that thought.

I didn't like seeing my sleepy face in the mirror. I splashed cool water on
my face. Trying to piece together my terrible nightmare.

I deeply thought about it. My mind kept going back to when I had woke up to
Jade and Ryan entwined with me. It was the best experience my body had
witnessed. I know it was pure accident the act of them doing that was
blissful.

Wait... how long was I sleep, before they did that?  I thought to myself
hanging over the golden facets of the sink.

Come on, Come on get this crap together, Braylon! Think deeper...

A flash of chains hit me. Then a flash of Ryan and Jade entwining me,
flashed before me. Something tried to click right then. The chains could
have been Jade and Ryan's weight on my body, my mind made it feel like
chains. The black pit I was in could have been Ryan's dark room.

No, no that doesn't fit. It sounds logical, but it doesn't fit. Let me try
this again...

Maybe the chains were Ryan and Jade in a way, Maybe...the chains were all
of my friends. Yeah! That sounds better to me. Now the pit has to be my
loneliness... yes I have friends, but the loneliness from not having a
higher love is what the pit is. I need somebody to love me back!

Oh my gosh1 all this time of sleepless long nights. I didn't understand the
blackness. Staying all night here tonight, helped me figure out what my
body has yarned for. Happy with friend, but lonely underneath it all.

The missing link is love, for my friends. Wait, Do I want my friends that
way? Obviously yes, which one though? There's things the all have unique
about them.

I don't know which one, and Korbyn adds to my already confused state
because I don't know why I like him.

I finally figured out my problem just to have another one pop up! I have to
figure out who I want to be with. And if I can actually be with that
person.

My thinking was interrupted when the bathroom door swung open.

"Are you okay?" Keylan said in a groggy tone.

"Yeah, I just had a bad dream, that's all." I cant tell him what I woke up
to. Or what I just figured out.

"I didn't know who was in here," he chuckled wiping his eyes. "Why didn't
you stay up? We had fun last night." he mentioned.

I still slumped over the sink, he gracefully closed the door. My mind tried
t panic. I did what I could best, stay still!

He came closer to me, standing behind me checking his reflection with
mine. His eyes were brilliant green, and his body was hott! I remember him
telling us ` he doesn't like wearing shirts to bed.'  leaving him beside me
with only basketball shorts.

I hope I'm not being to obvious with my staring. This Is my friend for
crying out loud.

"I couldn't, I started thinking to deep and next thing I knew. I'm over the
sink after a dreadful nightmare." I calmly answered back, trying to divert
my eyes.

"Well..." he started, putting both hands on my Pecs. "You are a little
tense. If you want to talk, I'm here. I owe you anyway, for stopping me
from losing my head at the party." he said massaging my tension away." oh
and for shutting David down!"

He was massaging in a circular rhythm. it was so good, I automatically
closed my eyes. From the comfort of his athletic fingers bringing joy to my
stress.

"it was nothing, what do you think I'm alpha for anyway?" I sighed

He suddenly stopped the massage. Did I say something wrong? Was he picking
up on my vibes for him.? I could smell the masculine testosterone emitting
from his muscular pores. His warm muscles embraced me from behind.

Was I in another dream? I had to be, this is not possible. His lips were
centimeters away from my ear.

" you are the best alpha for me, and nobody can take that away from you."
he seductively whispered. He left me standing in the bathroom speechless.

Was that a flirty remark? Or was it a sincere compliment?

After my thoughts slowed, my emotions mellowed. I went back to the room to
sleep. This time my sleep was peaceful. I came out of the bathroom a new
man. I didn't have all the answers I needed, but enough answers to know
what I had to do.

Morning

Ryan begged us to stay for breakfast. His cook mad a stack of bronze
pancakes, crunchy sizzling bacon, and the best eggs I had ever tasted.

We sat and at on Ryan's patio. A fantastic sight it was. The sun was
peeking behind the clouds, the air was fresh, the temperature was just
right.

One of those days my mind never will let go of. All of my clique here
sharing a meal outside of school. We had fun sitting around laughing about
our younger days.

Keylan kept asking me `did I bring my lip gloss?' I guess he was trying to
be sarcastic. A few times, during our breakfast. Flashes of the massage he
gave me came forth. So did the Jade and Ryan accidental entanglement. I was
slipping in and out of the conversation because of how my mind was admiring
my friends.

I left Ryan's house. I laid in my room trying to understand what Keylan
said last night. I spent my whole day trying to see if he was talking in
code.

Jason kept bringing more of his friends in our house. They kept making
noise in his room. I was dong my best to block them out so I could think. I
gave up trying to figure it out. It was obvious I needed more clues.

The question that I think of tonight as I fall asleep stings me.

Will I ever fall in love? Will someone love me back?

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I hope this was a good one. This ends chapter 3.there is plenty more to
come on the next chapters so you all stay tuned. I feel sorry for Braylon
on this chapter he needs affection, and not from just anyone. Email:
princejosh333@aol.com let me know what you think. J