Date: Tue, 1 May 2007 20:43:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: j c <writerscramp71@yahoo.com>
Subject: All American Sports God chapter 11

This is a complete work of fiction. Any similarity to anyone living or dead
is purely coincidental. This story is copywrited and sole property of the
author. And may not be reproduced without the express consent of the author

Wow back again gentle reader. I just wanted to say that not everyone will
like this chapter. It deals with some hard issues and it wasn't my
intention to upset anyone. But sometimes things don't always turn out the
way you want them too. But I hope once the whole story is complete you can
look back and see the necessity of this chapter. Well I hope you enjoy the
whispered insanity of my mind.

You may contact me at writerscramp71@yahoo.com


I broke from his embrace, scared by the fact that even though I didn't want
anything to happen I could feel the stirring of something deep in my
groin. As I pulled away from him my legs began to give out, I still hadn't
recovered from my cramps. Quickly before I could protest he grabbed me and
held me close.

"Just give it a minute, don't want you to take another spill." He said in
that soft fuzzy voice.

As I fought to suppress my body's response, he grabbed the soap and began
to wash me. His touch was just as soft and gentle as his voice. And even
though I could still feel his dick resting in the cleft of my ass he wasn't
hard.

I don't know if it was because I had played an intense game, had taken a
blow to the head or if it was just because I've never felt this way before
but no matter how hard I fought I couldn't control the effect his hands
were having on my dick. As soon as his hand brushed against my hip my cock
started to inflate. And like some chain reaction about the same time his
began to rise as well.

I felt so safe and secure pressed against his body. He wrapped one strong
arm around my chest and continued to gently wash me with the other. He
never once tried to take things further. I was expecting him to grind his
hardon into my ass, but he didn't. I don't know if my resolve would have
held up if he had. And he never let his hand stray any closer to my dick
than my hip.

After a few minutes I felt strong enough to stand on my own, he sensed it
and released me from his grasp. I finished washing up and occasionally I
would steal a glance of him out of the corner of my eye. He had moved to
the shower next to mine and never once did he try to hide his erection. As
I watched the soap slide lazily from his body I couldn't help but notice
his intense eyes staring back at me.

As quickly as I could I made my way back to my locker. I just wanted to get
dressed and get out of there. I knew I could trust him but suddenly I
didn't think I could trust myself. It was one of the weirdest feelings I
have ever had. I still loved Jay and I would never do anything to hurt
him. So then why did I question what his face would look like staring up at
me from between my thighs?

I was just about dressed when I heard his padded footsteps come closer. I
turned around and there he was loosely draped in a towel.

"Hey John I just wanted to say thanks for everything man." He said to me in
that hypnotizing voice.

"Um...I should be the one thanking you dude." I said trying to avoid his
eyes.

He softly chuckled and I raised my head to look at him, wondering what was
so funny.

"You don't know my name do you?" He questioned.

I couldn't help but flash him a cheesy smile as I said. "You're right I
don't."

"Its Kayden but my friends just call me K." He explained as he extended his
hand.

"Nice to meet you." I said still wearing the same cheesy grin.

"Yea well I just wanted to say thanks for making some of my dreams come
true today." He said with a shy grin.

"Oh...um no problems man." I said as I finished getting dressed.

"So are you headed to the dance?" He asked.

"No I think I'm just going home to soak in the Jacuzzi, my muscles need the
rest."

"Oh... yea well I don't blame you those things are boring anyway." He said.

"You should go though I bet you won't have any problems getting laid
tonight." I stated while a blush crept into my cheeks. "I mean you did make
the winning touch down, I'm sure you'd have the girls eating out of your
hands."

He gave me a weird look when I said that, almost like his feelings were
hurt and mumbled something under his breath.

"Well take it easy K." I yelled as I hurried out of the locker room.

I had to get out of there; it was an awkward situation that I didn't know
how to handle. I couldn't decide if he was coming on to me or if I just
thought that because I was gay. I had never been good at telling who was
gay and who wasn't. Besides the apparent feminine guys that were teased
fiercely. The only time I had ever known for sure was with Jay. For some
reason I had known it would be ok, even though he wasn't obvious.

I made my way out to student parking and received a few congratulations
from small groups of students. Just as I was about to get in my car and
head home I heard a familiar laugh coming from several rows over. I looked
around trying to identify the source when I spotted Jay standing next to
Billy's car. They seemed to be having fun and I couldn't help the piercing
stab of jealous pains when I saw them. Then without warning I saw Billy
lean in and plant a kiss on Jay's lips. And what happened next nearly
destroyed me. I didn't see Jay push him away; he didn't punch Billy or slap
him. No I saw his hand reach up and take hold of Billy's neck.

I didn't trust my eyes, this couldn't be happening. I felt like my soul had
been ripped out of my body. Tears began to run down my face even though I
wasn't crying. I didn't stick around to watch them get any further
involved. I tore out of the parking lot and raced for home. It felt like my
whole world had ended. I sat in front of my house and cried like a baby. I
don't know how long it took for me to get my tears under control, but after
I had calmed down it was then that I realized several things.

I had finally understood the cost of giving someone my heart completely. I
knew in that instant when I saw them kissing that all those times of
unbridled love had a string, a price. And now that the bill had come due, I
wasn't sure if I could afford to pay. It had only been three days since I
had told Jay that I thought we should cool it to avoid suspicion. Did I
mean that little to him, was my love something he could just use and throw
away?

As I continued to sit there and think about what had happened my sadness
and pain turned to anger. How dare they do that to me. After all I had done
for both of them I couldn't believe they would turn around and stab me in
the back. I had saved them both and all the pain, heart ache and misery
that I went through didn't get me anywhere. I was so mentally and
physically exhausted I don't know how I managed to drag my self up to bed,
but I did. I passed out and oddly didn't remember having any dreams that
night.

All the rest of that weekend I expected Jay to call me and confess what had
happened. After I had some sleep and a chance to think about it some more I
remembered what had taken place in the showers between me and Kayden. And
while I had barely been able to walk away from his embrace, I did. I could
understand temptation, it was around us everyday. And even though my dick
would often betray my attractions, I can honestly say my mind never once
entertained the idea of acting on them.

I had waited for Jay to come clean over the rest of that week end; by the
time Monday rolled around I couldn't hold back my anger and frustration any
longer. I left early for school that day, intent on getting to Jay's before
Billy had a chance to show up. I had to talk to him and confront his
infidelity. As I parked my car in front of his home I steeled my nerves and
knocked on the door. Jay answered with a shocked expression.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Jay I need to talk with you." I said emotionlessly.

"Oh...well I've got to finish getting ready, Billy will be here soon." He
answered in an attempt to evade the conversation.

"I think I should drive you to school, this is important." I said.

"I thought it was best if we weren't seen together anymore?" He asked with
a hint of anger in his voice.

"Why don't you let me drive you to school so we can talk privately about
things?"

"Give me 5 minutes ok?" He said.

"I'll be in the car." I answered him.

I waited for him and wondered whether or not I would be seeing Billy this
morning, I didn't think I could handle it so soon. Even though I was angry
at Jay I knew I could control it, with Billy I didn't think I would have
near as much restraint. Jay ran from the house and hopped in my car.

We drove for a few moments in silence; I was trying to figure out a way to
bring it all up. Once the time had come for me to confront him about the
kiss my anger seemed to desert me. I had used it to erect a wall around my
emotions, to harden my feelings for what would be the inevitable outcome. I
should have known once I had given him the key to my heart no lock would
ever keep him from it.

"I went to the game Friday night." Jay stated. "I couldn't believe how well
you played."

"You knew that was me?" I asked.

"Of course I knew, everyone knows. You did watch the first half right?"

"Yea I saw it." I said.

"Well anyone could see the difference, I mean even though you wore the same
number there's no way you couldn't tell it was a different quarter back."
He said.

"Well I had to after coach said he wouldn't let me play." I said.

"I waited for you after the game, I wanted to say congratulations but I
didn't see you." He said with a measure of sadness.

"I saw you." I stated in a flat voice.

"You did? Why didn't you say hello?" He asked.

"Because I didn't want to interrupt the kiss you were giving Billy." I
berated myself for the hurt and misery that slipped out when I told him.

"What?" He whispered.

"I saw you and Billy kissing by his car." I said showing more grief than I
wanted.

I waited for his denial, something anything other than the silence I
received from that statement.

"Do you love him?" I said suddenly asking the one question I didn't think I
wanted the answer too.

Jay's mouth was moving but no sound issued forth. His shock was evident and
yet I couldn't help but notice how cute his expression was. Dam I thought,
no matter how much I wanted to hate him I just couldn't.

"I....I don't know." Jay said surprising himself more I think than me.

"What do you mean you don't know?" I asked him.

"It's hard to explain John. I ...I don't know if I love him." He said.

"I think I deserve an answer." I stated.

"You do its just.... I'm not sure how I feel anymore." Jay stammered.

"Have you done more than kiss?" I asked like the glutton for punishment
that I am.

Silence...his answer to me was silence, and yet by saying nothing I knew
there had to be more than just a kiss.

He continued to sit in silence as tears began to stream down my face. Even
though I refused to allow myself to cry those tears seemed to have a mind
of their own. I had to pull over and park for a minute because my vision
was so blurry. After a few moments I got them under control.

"Do you love me?" I asked him with a raw edge to my voice.

"Yes I love you John." Jay said. "But I think I love Billy too."

"How could you feel anything for him after the way he's treated you for so
long?" I questioned.

"It's complicated... I guess because Billy was the first person I ever fell
in love with." He said with trepidation.

"What?" I asked totally stunned. Never in my wildest dreams would I have
thought something like this.

"When I met Billy in middle school I had a huge crush on him. And at first
I thought he liked me too.  He used to be really nice to me, and I think it
was then that I fell in love with him. We sort of flirted around with each
other, always joking and teasing. That was until his friends started to
pick on me. It happened because one day after gym class when we were
showering I got hard. Ray was the one who saw me looking at Billy and well
after that Billy changed." Jay said in a voice filled with sadness.

"So now after years of abusing you everyday all he has to do is act nice to
you and all is forgiven?" I asked him.

"I don't know, I told you it was complicated." Jay said.

"Oh I don't think its that complicated, you couldn't have the one you
really loved so you toke what ever you could get, is that it?" I yelled
unable to control the pain I was feeling.

I pulled back into traffic to continue the drive to school.

"No it isn't like that John." Jay said.

"Then exactly what is it like Jay?" I shouted.

"Look I can't just turn my feelings on and off ok, I'm sorry that I feel
this way about him. I don't want to but I can't help the way I feel John!"
Jay yelled showing his frustration.

"What now Jay? Were does that leave us huh? Tell me how am I supposed to be
with someone who loves another guy?" I asked.

"Oh I didn't know we were still together." He said sarcastically.

"Don't give me that shit you knew we were only cooling it down so people
wouldn't go ballistic." I said angry now that he would throw it up in my
face. "I didn't want you to get hurt Jay."

"Yea right you were concerned about your reputation John at least have the
balls to admit it." He shot back.

I was stunned, somehow that comment seemed to ring true in my heart. Was he
right? Was I more concerned about how I would look or how it would affect
me? I was lost in thought when we pulled up in front of the school. Just
before jay was about to leave I asked him a question.

"Hey." I said placing my arm on his shoulder. "I have football practice
today, if you still want to be with me meet me at my car. If you aren't
here then I'll know you don't want me."

He turned around and gave me a look I had never seen from him before. It
was one of the few times I couldn't tell what he was thinking. He left my
car and walked into school.