Date: Wed, 28 Jan 2009 21:30:03 -0500
From: spiderwick1 secret <spiderwick1@hotmail.com>
Subject: all by myself

This story contains sexual contact between teenage boys.
This may not be legal where you live or it may be offensive
to you, if so please leave now


all by myself


 My name is Casey Jones, I am a sophomore in high school, and
I am 5 foot 8 inches tall, I have sandy brown hair cut just above
the collar with hazel eyes and a clear light complexion. I am not
your typical student. I like sports but do not have the talent to
play, I am smart but not a brainiac, I do, however, have one thing
that I really like about school, I like to look at the BOYS, BOYS,
and more BOYS, I am gay but not out yet it would certainly be
almost and death wish if any one found out. So I watch the
boys play football, baseball and basketball. I do, however,
have one thing that makes my happy and that is seeing all that
naked boys after gym class. Its like a schmorgasboard or
a buffet. I can't touch but I can look everything over also sort
of like Christmas window shopping. Do I like that.

I don't have very many friends and am scared to get close
to any boy for fear of him finding out I am gay. I sit in class
and try to concentrate an assignments but always start to
to wander.

I have a pretty normal home life if you count being scared
to death that I may at any moment be found out to be gay.
I have no Idea what would happen, I really don't want to find
out, I stay uncomfortably hidden the the closet. I know or at
least hope that one day I might find someone that I could
care for and that he would feel the same towards Me.

I woke up this morning with the thought that this was going
to be another day just like every other day. I showered and
got dressed went into the kitchen to have breakfast and as
usual got the third degree  from dad. I tried to play my way
through all the questions but it seems like every day it just
gets harder and harder. I finished breakfast and headed
of to school. This is just like prison I get there and all I
do all day is think about who I could get to be that one
special person in my life, and like every other day i have
no chance.

The first bell rang and off I go to first period and the day
starts off quite smoothly. the day lingers on amd on and
I am hoping that through some miralce I will finally see
mister right. The thing is that he will never know. I am a
caged lion waiting to strike.

When school was finally over for the day I went  out and
watched the team practice. I could go home and sit in my
room and stare at the walls, however, watching the gives
me a feeling of happiness.

I am so tired of living my live scared, scared  of what I
have become, scared of what to do, scared of how to
act and most of all scared that someone may figure out
my secret.

I am afraid of what I have to do but also afraid of what
will happen if I don't.

Practice is over and I rush to leave before anyone sees
me. I start my long trek home, Hoping that it will take me
forever to get there then I will not have to put up with dads
bombardment of the same old questions, I wish I could
just blurt it out for the whole world to but that would be
pure suicide.

I walk into the hosue and of course dad has to start about
who I was taking to the dance. I so wanted to tell him the
quarterback of the JV team but I am sure that that would
be the end of everything as I know it. I ate dinner and then
headed up to my room to do homework. When I finished
I got on the computer and read a couple stories on Nifty
and then it was time to get some sleep.

I had made it through another day, I was looking forward
to the night, it was the only time that I could really be me.
I tossed and turned until I finally dozed off and in my
dreams I dreaded the call of the alarm clock.


That's it for chapter 1, Please let me know what you think
email ma at spiderwick1@hotmail.com with your comments
and feedback, I will answer all emails as soon as possible
Thanks for reading my stories