Date: Sat, 17 Feb 2001 12:49:23 EST
From: Aterovis@aol.com
Subject: All Lost Things - Chapter 1

Hello everyone! Did you miss me? hehehe Welcome to the third installment of
the Bleeding Hearts Mystery Series featuring Killian and Asher. Bleeding
Hearts, the first book, in in the process of being published and Reap the
Whirlwind, the companion book, is here on Nifty and also on my website.
Please visit my site if you have a chance. As always, feedback is welcome!
Enjoy!

http://bleedinghearts.nav.to

Email at Aterovis@aol.com


	Blood covered everything in the small room, an incredible amount of
blood. It splattered the walls, covered the floor and even dripped from the
ceiling. The smell was nauseating, overwhelming the senses with its
metallic bite. It was amazing to think that so much blood could come from
one person, but there was only one body in evidence.

	The body, it could no longer be called a person, all that had made
it a person - the spark and soul that makes one alive - was gone. What was
left was just an empty shell. This one more empty than most. The head had
been nearly severed from the neck and that only after it had been hacked
and chopped repeatedly. It lay now in a grotesque heap in the middle of the
room.

	It would have been easy and strangely satisfying to leave it like
that for someone to find. And it wouldn't have been right away either. The
person the body had once been was not the type of person anyone would miss,
or if they did it would only be to appreciate the fact that he was
absent. The idea of someone else witnessing his bloody and undignified end
was very compelling but it was too much of a risk. As careful as one was,
you just couldn't be sure what kind of evidence had been left behind. If
even half of what they showed on TV was true then those forensic
investigators could practically work magic. No, it was too big a risk.

	Gasoline splashed across the floor, mingling with the blood and
overpowering the smell of death.


Chapter 1

	There's a certain pleasure in that drowsy state that occurs
somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. You know the sun is out because
you can feel the warmth on your eyelids, but you have nowhere to be and
nothing to do so you just lie there, not quite asleep, but not really awake
either. It wasn't something I got to experience very often so I was
enjoying the rare treat for all it was worth. At least I was until the
phone started ringing.

	I knew I was home alone so at first I decided to ignore it. After
what must have been a dozen rings it stopped, much to my relief. But before
I could sink back into oblivion it started up again. With a sign I swung my
feet over the edge of the bed and staggered across the room to snatch up
the offending object.

	"H'lo?" I mumbled sleepily. I was determined not to wake up
entirely on the off chance it was just an AT&T salesman.

	"Hey sexy," a familiar voice purred. I suddenly found myself
wide-awake and not in the least bit resentful.

	"Hey yourself, beautiful," I said, a smile warming my voice.

	"Please tell me I didn't wake you up. You can't be sleeping away
the first day of our lives as high school graduates!"

	"Well I was, but I wasn't exactly asleep."

	He laughed, "But you weren't exactly awake either?"

	"Exactly!" We both laughed, "So what's up?" I asked.

	"Nothing really, I just wanted to hear your voice."

	"You'll be hearing it all too often before too much longer."

	"Why do you say that?"

	"Well, aren't we going to get a place together? I mean, I just
assumed because you said you didn't want to live on campus and I don't want
to drive all that way everyday..."

	"Oh wow...I guess I hadn't really thought about it. Yeah,
definitely!" Excitement filled his voice. "Waking up in your arms every
morning! Let's start looking today!"

	"Today? But we have 3 months..."

	"Not really, more like two, and besides, that's not even that
long. We can stop and see Will while we're over there, too. I'm a little
worried about him."

	"I...I guess so. I need to take a shower and stuff."

	"Ok, meet me at my house whenever you're ready."

	"Ok. See you later."

	"Later. Oh, and Killian? I love you."

	"I love you too, Ash."

	I hung up the phone and stood staring down at it for a moment or
two. I had just assumed we would be living together and was surprised that
the thought hadn't already crossed Asher's mind. If I had known that he
wasn't already planning it I don't know if I would have brought it up. I
wasn't at all sure I was ready for that step and had only said something
because I had assumed it was already decided. Oh well, too late to back out
now.

	I grabbed a pair of clean boxers and started for the bathroom, my
mind swirling as I went. Asher and I had been together now for a year and a
half. We'd been friends since we were kids, growing up next door to each
other and going to the same school. Things had changed in our junior year
though, when a new boy had arrived at school. His name was Seth and he
stirred things in me that I'd never felt before. I soon realized that I was
gay. When Seth was murdered in what looked to be a hate crime, the police
passed it off as a random mugging gone wrong. I couldn't accept that
however, and I enlisted Asher's help in finding the real killer. Along the
way, Asher told me he loved me and had loved me for years. By the time we
figured out who the killer was we had almost become his latest victims.

	Jump forward about one year later. My cousin, Aidan, and Asher's
cousin, Will, become roommates and then lovers. Will's best friend was
found dead in a swimming pool and it was ruled an accidental death But
shortly after that, Will received a cryptic note in the mail saying that it
wasn't an accident. He asked Asher and I, and a few of his other friends to
help find out what really happened. I agreed to help, against Asher's
wishes. It almost tore us apart. It turned out that Asher had been
right. By the time it was all over, Aidan was dead. The shockwaves were far
reaching and they had yet to really settle. I could understand why Asher
was worried about Will.

	Six months had passed since Aidan was shot and I knew that Will
hadn't dealt with things very well. He had become very withdrawn, quit his
job at the art gallery and moved back in with his mom. I knew he was seeing
a counselor sporadically, but I couldn't see where he had let it help him
all that much.

	As I was dressing, my mind wandered back to Asher and I. Was moving
in together the right move? Even though we had been together for a long
time now, we had still never made love. We'd fooled around some, but we had
never really gone all the way. Asher was ready, had been for some time, but
for some reason I just wasn't. I know Asher tried to be understanding, but
it was creating stress in our relationship. It was something I really
needed to work on if I was as committed to us as I liked to think I was.

	An hour later, Asher and I were on our way to Will's house.

	"I was thinking about Will earlier," I said as I drove.

	"Yeah? I've been thinking about him a lot lately," he said, "The
baby will be coming soon and I just don't think he's ready."

	Before he had been killed, Will's friend had gotten a girl
pregnant. Will had offered to help raise the baby and now it looked like
he'd be raising it all by himself since the baby's mother had turned out to
be psychopathic murderer. The baby was due any day now.

	"What do you mean, not ready?" I asked, "He's obviously still
depressed and all but that's to be expected, don't you think? I mean his
lover was killed on their wedding night. You can't expect someone to get
over something like that overnight. Maybe the baby will help bring him
around."

	"Maybe, but what if it doesn't? He's barely left the house in the
last sixth months. He isn't working, as far as I know he isn't painting;
I'm just worried about him."

	"So am I, Ash, but what can we do?"

	He sighed, "I don't know. I wish there was something though."

	We drove the rest of the way in a slightly uncomfortable
silence. This had been happening more and more lately. It used to be that
we could talk about anything and nothing for hours on end, or simply enjoy
a companionable silence, the kind when nothing needs to be said. Our
silences seemed heavy these days.

	I had been convinced from day one that Asher and I were meant to be
together forever. I still believed that, but now I sometimes found myself
wondering if that was realistic. We were still kids; who were we to know
about forever? I looked over at him slouched down in the passenger seat and
thought about how much he had changed in the last year. He was tall now; a
little over six foot, and thin. His curly black hair was a little longer
than it used to be, I wondered if he was growing it out or if he'd just
missed a haircut. Why didn't I know something like that? His face had lost
some of that adolescent look and he was really starting to look like an
adult now.  His eyes were the only things that hadn't changed; they were
still the same inscrutable silvery-gray.

	I shifted my gaze to the rear-view mirror at my own reflection. I
hadn't changed much, at least not my eyes. I've always looked younger than
my age and I still did. I was average height, about five foot nine, and
maybe slightly underweight. I had bright blue eyes and wavy blonde
hair. All in all I could have easily passed for a tenth grader instead of a
high school graduate, even if the graduation had only happened yesterday. I
sighed.

	"What are you thinking?" Asher asked.

	"I look like a little kid. Who's ever going to take me serious when
I look fifteen?"

	"You're adorable!" he protested.

	"Exactly! I'm adorable, like a little kid. You look all grown up,
you look...sexy."

	"Gee thanks," he giggled, "You make that sound like such a bad
thing. But seriously, where is this coming from? I love the way you look. I
love everything about you, you know that."

	I sighed again, "It's not that. I don't know, just forget it."

	"No, if it's really bothering you I don't want to just forget it."

	"Well I want you to, ok?"

	"Geez, Killian, what is up with you?"

	"I don't know. I'm sorry."

	Any further strained conversation was spared as we pulled into the
driveway of Will's parents house. It was a modest, two story home with an
attached garage. The white vinyl siding was looking a bit grungy, as if it
needed a good power washing. The shrubs were slightly overgrown and had a
scraggly look to them.  It looked like what it was, a home whose primary
caretaker had passed away not too long ago. Will's dad had died around the
same time as Aidan. It looked like neither he nor his mom had found keeping
up the outside of the house a high priority.

	We climbed out of the car and walked up to the front door. Will
answered our knock.

	"Hi, did I know you were coming?" he said with a slightly confused
expression.

	I smiled. "Nope, you had no idea. We decided to surprise you."

	"Surprise!" Asher added cheerfully.

	Will gave us a ghost of a smile as he stepped back to allow us
in. We all trooped into the living room, which unlike the outside of the
house, was neat and comfortable looking. I looked Will over carefully as we
sat down. At first glance, the resemblance between Will and Asher was
striking. They both shared the same pale complexion that blushed so very
easily and the same curly black hair. The similarities pretty much stopped
there, though. Will's eyes were a deep blue and he lacked a good six inches
of Asher's height. His rumpled clothing looked liked he slept in them and
it looked as if he hadn't shaved today.

	"So what's up?" he asked.

	I looked over at Asher and decided to let him take the lead. He was
his cousin after all, and knew him much better than I did.

	"We just hadn't talked to you in a while and wanted to see how you
were," Asher said carefully.

	Will frowned, "I'm fine. What do you mean how I am?"

	"Well, I mean...with everything..."

	"You mean Aidan being murdered?" Will said bluntly.

	Asher blinked in surprise but recovered quickly. "Yeah, I guess
so. And the baby's coming soon too right?"

	Will smiled again, this time a genuine smile. "Yeah, any day
now. It could even be today."

	"How is that going to work?" I asked.

	"Well, when Caitlin goes into labor they'll take her to the
hospital. I'm supposed to get there as soon as I can so I can be there when
the baby is born. When a few days later I take it home."

	"It? You don't know if it's a boy or a girl?"

	"I don't. I don't know if Caitlin does or not. I wanted to be
surprised."

	"Do you have names picked out?"

	"I have a baby name book but I haven't been able to decide on
anything yet.  If it's a boy I want his middle name to be Joseph, after his
father. I thought about naming him Aidan but that would be too painful." He
looked away but not before I thought I saw tears well up in his eyes.

	"What if it's a girl?" I said, more to change the subject than out
of any real curiosity.

	"I don't know. I like old fashioned names like Emily and Amelia."

	"Have you painted anything lately?" Asher asked. Before the murders
Will had been a rising star in the local art world. He'd even had his own
show last fall.

	He shook his head and avoided looking at us.

	"You should get back into that, Will," Asher said gently.

	"I know, I just haven't felt like doing it since..."

	I was starting to feel like all we were doing was opening up old
wounds. I decided it was definitely time for a change of subject.

	"Ash and I are looking for an apartment over here, something close
to school if possible."

	"Really?" he asked without much interest in his voice. I wondered
if thinking of apartments made him remember the apartment he had lived in
with Aidan, been married in and then watched Aidan die in. It seemed like
no topic was safe with him.

	"Yeah and we'd better go before it gets too late," I said. I hoped
the desperation wasn't too obvious in my voice. I wanted out of there bad.

	Will looked up and gave me a funny look so I guessed it must have
been pretty obvious. "Why don't you come back for dinner? Mom will be home
by then and she'd probably like to see you guys."

	I didn't know why she would since I barely even knew her but we
agreed to be back around 5.

	We spent the rest of the day driving around the city checking out
apartments. We found a couple we liked close to the school and in our price
range. We were feeling pretty satisfied with ourselves when we arrived back
at Will's house.

	Will's mom was home and it smelled like Will had actually been
cooking while we were gone. We were told that the meal would be ready soon.

	Dinner turned out to be quite good, Will had prepared a casserole
of some sort that involved chicken, broccoli and cheese. The company wasn't
quite as good. Will's mom was tired after a long shift at the hospital and
any conversation with Will was fraught with landmines.

	Asher and I exchanged an unspoken message with our eyes and I was
just about to make an excuse for us to leave when the phone rang. Will's
mom excused herself and went to answer it. She was back in a flash.

	"Will, it's the hospital. Caitlin is in labor!"

	Will leaped up, showing the most animation I'd seen yet from
him. He ran for the door then spun back around. "You're coming, right?" he
said to his mother.

	"Yes, let me change and I'll be there," she answered.

	Then he turned to Asher and I, who were still sitting at the
table. "Will you guys come too?" he asked us.

	"Us?" I squeaked.

	"I'd really like it if you could be there too."

	"We're right behind you," Asher said as he jumped up.

	I followed the two of them out the door. Once outside we decided
that Will should ride over with us so we all piled into my Volkswagen Bug
and headed for the hospital. As I drove I remembered that the last time I
was at that hospital Will's dad had died right in front of us. I wondered
if that was on Will's mind too. It seemed like everywhere he turned that
was some reminded of what he had lost. Maybe the losses would be
overshadowed tonight by what he was gaining.

	We pulled into the hospital parking lot and we raced into the main
lobby. Will skid to a halt in front of the information desk.

	"Where do they have the babies?" he asked the startled looking
young woman behind the desk. I fought down an urge to giggle.

	"Fourth floor is maternity," she said and Will was off running
again, "Sir?" she called after him but he was already around the corner at
the elevators. She turned to us, "Is he the father?"

	"Um...I guess so," I said uncertainly.

	The woman shook her head. "They'll take care of him at the nurses
station there then."

  	Asher and I caught up with him a few minutes later. A nurse was
explaining something to him as we approached but we missed the bulk of
it. I noticed a police officer in uniform standing nearby and assumed that
Caitlin was already here.

	"You can wait right over here," the nurse was saying as we joined
them.

	She led us to a small waiting area with several institutional
couches and chairs. A magazine rack with health magazines hung on the
wall. I had a feeling this would be a long wait.

	"I'd better go call Adam," I said after a few minutes of silence.

	"Good idea," Asher said, "I'd better call Mom and Dad, too."

	We asked for the pay phones at the nurses station and then set off
to call home.

	I guess you could call Adam my surrogate father. My real father was
an uncaring, abusive man who I hadn't seen now for over a year. Adam took
me in after my father beat me up when he found out I was gay. My mom had
moved to Pennsylvania with my aunt but I wanted to stay so I stayed with
Adam. Adam's son, Kane, was like just like a brother to me. I lived with
Adam, Kane and Adam's partner, Steve.

	When we got back at the waiting room we found several new
additions. Will's mom had arrived and to my surprise Laura and Gabe were
there too. Laura was one of Will's lifelong friends and Gabe was her
boyfriend. Laura was a strikingly beautiful girl, half African-American and
half Native American. She had long shiny black hair and dark almond-shaped
eyes. Gabe was Hispanic and very handsome in his own right. They were both
students at the college Asher and I would be attending this fall.

	After the initial greetings were over we all settled back down on
the hard furniture and began to chat. We filled the whole room and Will was
noticeably brighter than he'd been all day.

	Asher and I caught Laura and Gabe up on what had been happening in
our lives, graduation and deciding to move, and then it was their turn.

	"Well," Laura said with a dramatic pause, "a lot has been happening
with us too."

	She held out her hand and I noticed a large diamond on her ring
finger.

	"Oh my gosh!" I gasped. I leaped up and hugged her and then
Gabe. Asher was a little slower on the draw but then he joined in on the
congratulations too. Will apparently already knew and just smiled at all of
us.

	"And that's not all," Laura said, and glanced over at Gabe, who
nodded encouragingly. "I've decided I'm not going back to school in the
fall."

	For a moment we all sat in stunned silence. It was obvious that
this one even caught Will by surprise. Then we all started talking at once.

	Laura raised her hands palm out as if to say stop and we all
stopped speaking. "I've decided I want to go to police academy."

	"But aren't you studying criminal justice anyway," Will's mom
asked, "Wouldn't that be useful?"

	"Well yeah, but I've decided I want to do this now. I don't want to
wait. And the department will pay for my schooling later if I decide to go
back."

	"It sounds like you've given this a lot of thought."

	"I have. Gabe and I have talked about it and he supports me one
hundred percent. I've already done all the preliminary requirements and I'm
starting in the next class."

	We talked for a while longer about their big news and then moved on
to other things. Every once in a while a nurse would come out and tell us
how far along Caitlin was and how much longer they thought it would be. It
seemed things were moving pretty quickly and it wouldn't be one of those
long drawn out labors. It was still quite a long time though, and before
long Will's mom fell asleep. Shortly after I noticed Asher had dozed off
and I moved closer and pulled him against me where he slept on my
shoulder. Gabe was drifting off when the big news finally came.

	"Mr. Keegan?" a nurse asked the room in general.

	"That's me," Will said jumping up. Gabe started and sat up and
Asher blinked drowsily, looking a little like an owl that had been startled
awake. Laura leaned over and gently shook Mrs. Keegan.

	The nurse smiled, "Mr. Keegan, congratulations. It's a healthy baby
boy; seven pounds, eight ounces. Would you like to see your son?"